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If humans were able to choose the fates of their lives. How would life be?
Taehyun thought as he glanced out the glistening window. The smell of medicines and strong latex filled the room as his emotions took a toll on him.
Maybe he made a mistake in his past life, did he kill? hurt? hate? or love someone in the wrong way. There were times when he would hate living; staying alive was harder than lying dead. It was as if his future was written fine and clear, a torture that he would never escape. No friends had visited him ever since fate chose to pull him back to the place he dreaded the most. The hospital was like his second home, but he never liked calling it his 'home', it was shameful and pathetic to even be in a hospital, why name it over something that should bring comfort instead of pain?
A new day approached and it felt the same. Taehyun squinted his eyes at the sudden exposure to sunlight. Using his strength, he managed to pull himself out of bed and out of the ward. He hates the gown that every patient has to put on, he loves fashion, he loves styling himself like every other teenage boy who swears they look cool in racing jackets. He couldn't emphasise more on how ugly the blue prints look on his white gown and how much he wanted to just change out of this nasty piece of clothing he had on him.
This was his routine: waking up and heading to the garden after he washed up. The garden was the only place that made him feel free and at ease. The sounds of birds chirping, the breeze was all it took to comfort the young boy.
He took a seat on the bench, making sure it was the most secluded area where he wouldn't need to interact with doctors or nurses. He needed his time alone, and right when he was about to take a good breath of the fresh air around him. A sudden loud commotion could be heard, and Taehyun couldn't help but turn his head in curiosity.
A tall raven-haired male got pushed to the ground as a group of youngsters towered over him. A punch landed on the latter's cheek as he grunted in pain, but the smirk never left his face. His movements stumbled as he got up, only to get kicked in the stomach and fly back further on the ground with a thud.
Taehyun was terrified; he never thought that he would witness anything like this during his peaceful mornings, but there was no doubt that he felt a little intrigued by the cause of the commotion as he listened to the not-so-pleasant conversation.
"How dare you show up after what you've caused!" One of the males spoke with a disgusted tone of venom. He clearly dislikes the dude on the ground, and Taehyun could sense the hatred in the male's eyes.
The raven-haired only smirks, which makes the others want to throw hands to get rid of that annoying smirk.
"Why? Afraid that your master will get defeated under my hands again? Well, you should be afraid since he decided to cross the line first. I gave all of you my warning, you can harass me all you want, but if you mess with my friends. It's over."
The few males scoffed, some even let out an annoying chuckle at the latter's words.
"What type of hero bullshit are you pulling? HAH 'touch my friends and it's over. " They mocked him. The raven-haired was on his last straw as the rest continued to laugh and mock his words.
Before the others could even continue mocking the latter, he already threw a punch across one of the males' faces, a sharp punch in the middle, leading his knuckles to bleed due to the hard impact but at least it wouldn't be as ruined as the guy's face.
The guy yelped in pain and fell back on the floor, holding on to his face like some precious pearl of dynasty. This only terrified the youngsters who surrounded their injured friend.
The raven-haired stood there proud and mighty as he watched the youngsters carry the boy away, leaving him alone at the 'battlefield'. The urge of a heavy, proud laughter wanting to leave his chest was cut out by a soft voice.
"That...wasn't really nice" Taehyun spoke as he stared at the latter, who had a bruise on his cheek.
The latter blinked in confusion. "Do I know you?" Taehyun had no reply for a mean question like that, but just decided to play it cool to not embarrass himself further by speaking his thoughts out to a stranger.
"Um...how is your cheek? Does it hurt?" Another random question strikes without Taehyun knowing, and he mentally wants to throw himself off the rooftop garden.
"It's fine. It wasn't a good punch anyway."
Silence took over, and Taehyun felt awkward and considered to leave right now or he would die while having this moment replayed in his head. As he prepared to stand and leave, the latter voiced a question.
"Um, I see you're wearing a gown...are you like sick or something? Some acute appendix issue? Or like stomach issues? I don't know"
Taehyun hoped those were the reasons for his stay in the hospital.
"None of that."
"Oh, then umm you're just wearing the gown for some cosplay?"
How much did Taehyun want to question the latter's common sense. Who the heck would wear a hospital gown for cosplay???
"What the fuck" Taehyun deadpanned and decided that he couldn't hold a normal conversation with this dude for even 5 minutes.
"I mean...it suits you."
"No, it doesn't! And please never say that again." Taehyun never felt so offended. What do you mean the gown suits him? It should be ugly, weird, bad, something that should never ever look good on him. Something people anticipate to take it off due to its ugliness.
Taehyun hated everything that was associated with the hospital. Just like how he hates life, hates having people around him, hates himself for being this way. He just hates living...he was never afraid of death anymore.
That was the last time he saw the male.
--
A whole month had passed, and Mrs Kang was there loading the hospital table with Taehyun's favorite food.
"Ah... my hyunie is turning another year older. Look, I prepared your favorite galbi."
Taehyun felt annoyed instead and turned away from his mother.
"Hyun? Are you okay-"
"Why waste your time to even prepare all these when I can't even eat, You should know better than anyone that I'm not allowed to eat salty food like these. I mean...does it even matter at this point, I'm bound to die anyway"
"Taehyun! Don't you ever say that again. It's your birthday, it's not good to say these words. Drop it!"
"Birthday? More like deathdays, I'm practically counting down the days to dying. One more step closer to death, they said; birthdays are useless."
Taehyun's orbs shimmered with tears as he turned his back on his mother, who hung her head low, not knowing what to say.
--
It was past his bedtime, Taehyun just couldn't sleep, especially on days like this, where he just hoped his last day would arrive quicker. He sighed and got up to the rooftop again. The garden was still as beautiful as always, the porch lights lighten the paths as he sat on one of the benches again. The cold night breeze made him shiver as he buttons up his cream coloured cardigan and sat in silence.
The sound of the rooftop doors opening grabbed Taehyun's attention and revealed another male who was taking a stroll with a stick of ice cream in his mouth. He stopped in his tracks once he recognised the silhouette of the young boy and sat next to him.
"Nice to see you again, wide-eyed boy."
"What?"
"It's a sign to reveal your name."
"Erm...Taehyun"
"Ah, it's cute like you. I'm Beomgyu, and I'm turning 18 this year."
"I'm...a year younger. 17."
"Cute, you're still a baby then."
"You're just a year older."
Beomgyu chuckled as he reached out to the bag in his hands.
"Ice cream?"
"No thanks."
"Wow, you're pretty boring then."
Taehyun glared at the older boy, who had a sheepish smile on his face.
"Take a joke, will you?" Beomgyu said with a smile before taking a bite of his own treat.
"By the way, you still didn't tell me about the reason you're here? And it's been a month...and you're still in this fit, so mind to finally reveal your reasons?"
Taehyun didn't know what to say. So what if he revealed it...everyone would just pity him and shower him with prayers that he doesn't need. But something about the latter made him listen to everything he says.
"I am sick. Specifically...pancreatic cancer"
Beomgyu dropped the ice cream in his hand.
"Shit...I mean what? Erm..." Beomgyu didn't expect it obviously, like he just thought it was just some kidney stone or influenza thing, but not PANCREATIC CANCER??
"You don't have to feel bad or pity me."
"Oh...uh yeah. Pancreatic cancer can be quite cool...like your pancreas, it's more special than normal human beings. Yeah"
"You're making it worse."
"Ugh, sorry, I just don't know what to say...After you dropped the bomb like this."
"It's fine. You don't have to say anything."
Beomgyu still felt bad for the boy, but he knew Taehyun wouldn't like it, so he decided to change the topic.
"So umm, when is your birthday? You know, so I know when to pull up the next time."
"Today"
"Huh?"
"Today is my birthday" Taehyun repeated.
Beomgyu once again felt speechless. Gosh, Taehyun needs to stop dropping bombs on him like that.
"Oh, umm did you celebrate or get out and do some birthday stuff?"
"Not really...I just did a blood test."
"Oh, did the hospital want to extract some attractiveness in you? Like I swear you have good genes running in your blood, might as well freeze your sperm to have a pretty baby-"
"Beomgyu!"
"My bad! Sorry, so you didn't eat a cake or whatever?"
"No? I can't eat sweets."
"Oh wait" Beomgyu reaches out to his bag once again and reveals a packet of chocolate cornet bread. Taehyun was surprised to see it...before he was restricted from eating any sweet treats, his favorite dessert used to be this.
"Hey, I have a lighter with me so we can just treat this bread as the cake and the lighter as the candle."
Beomgyu placed the bread onto his lap and flicked his lighter.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Taehyun, happy birthday to you...make a wish, then blow."
Taehyun stayed still, honestly he felt touched and this made him think of his attitude towards his mother earlier.
"Hurry up, my fingers hurt."
Taehyun knocked out of his thoughts and closed his eyes to make a wish.
'I hope...I can leave this world soon.'
He blows.
Beomgyu released his fingers and kept the lighter back in his pocket.
"So what did you wish for?"
"Once said, the wish won't come true."
"Hm...must be an important wish then since you can't even let go for me. But if you don't tell me about it...how am I supposed to grant it?"
Taehyun blinked in confusion.
"You granting it?"
"Yeah...unless it's something about your health, I ain't no doctor...oh wait, that sounds mean"
Taehyun just laughed instead of feeling offended. This only made Beomgyu smile at how cute the younger looks right now under the shallow glow of light.
He looked pretty...and people tend to find happiness through pretty things. That's what Beomgyu was going to do...he wants to spend his time on the younger...as long as possible until the life of this pretty 'flower' withers.
--
Beomgyu had been hanging around Taehyun too often that which made Taehyun question. Does this guy not have a life outside or something?
It was like an ordinary day where Beomgyu visits Taehyun in his ward, either bringing some fun games or some math homework that he needs help with.
"You seriously need to start studying, Beomgyu. You have a whole future ahead, and now you're telling me you don't know what's a tangent? Are you serious right now?"
"I mean...God gave me the looks and body, so I think I'll make a good stripper-" A loud slam went across the back of Beomgyu's head as he got hit by a random chemistry textbook.
"Ouch, you're pretty violent, huh?"
"Gosh, I think I want you to grant me a new wish."
"What? You want a new watch? A new phone? What do you want?" Beomgyu was excited since he had been pestering the younger about how he could do and get anything the boy wants.
"I just want you to study hard and get at least top 10 in your class. Tell me, what's your rank now?"
"Erm...not that bad. 35"
"35 out of???"
"40...at least I'm not last!"
"You're proud of it? Choi Beomgyu, this is not funny! Come on, from now onwards, I'm banning you from bringing games to my ward."
"What! Are you serious? No way, why do you always want to live a boring life"
"I don't care, bring your books starting from now, cause there is no way I'm allowing you to slack off like this."
"Hey, it's my life."
"And you said you would grant any wish of mine."
"Ugh, fine...you win. So top 10 it is?"
"Yes, and I'll tutor you."
"Fine. I guess you can never argue with a nerd."
"Shut up, you blockhead."
"WHAT?"
--
That's how the torture started. Beomgyu calls this 'the unwanted boot camp'. He visits Taehyun every single day with his books, and it is a different subject every day.
"Taehyun, I'm tired. 5 minutes break please!!!!!!"
"No, you just had one 10 minutes ago."
"I'm already familiar with this topic, please just 5 minutes."
"Okay, then describe the entire life cycle of a star. Starting from the protostar to the black hole"
"Erm...t-the particles gets closer together and the density of the protostar increases, more frequent collisions occurs and the temperature increases. Once the protostars becomes hot enough, nuclear fusion occur in the core and the hydrogen nuclei fuse to form helium nuclei. The fusion reaction releases heat and energy and keeps the core hot. Outward pressure caused by nuclear fusion and inward pressure caused by gravity are perfectly balanced so the star is known as the Main sequence star and umm..."
"After several billion years, hydrogen runs out so?" Taehyun was nice enough to give a small hint.
"So nuclear fusion dies down. Inward pressure contracts star into a small ball until it's very hot, nuclear fusion starts again causing it to expand again. So massive stars expand into Red supergiant. Once the second stage of fusion finishes the core of the star will collapse and cause a gigantic explosion called a Supernova. At the centre of the explosion, a neutron star forms and the outer remnants of the star will be ejected during the explosion, forming a planetary nebula. The neutron star that formed in the centre will continue to collapse under the force of gravity, till it forms a black hole"
*I'm sorry...I need this to practice for my physics test*
Taehyun smiled and actually felt proud that Beomgyu was able to remember the detailed cycle of a star, so he decided to be lenient.
"We can take a break now."
Beomgyu smiled and scooted to sit next to Taehyun on the bed, and they fell into a comfortable silence.
"I have a question, but it may be a little sensitive."
"What is it?" Taehyun was curious now.
"Just...did the doctor say anything about how long you have left?"
"Why? Can't wait to get rid of me?"
"It's not funny, Taehyun!" This only caused Taehyun to chuckle softly.
"The doctor said I'll most likely have a year left...but if I'm lucky, probably a few more years"
"Do you wish for a few more years?"
"Not really...even if I had a few more years to spare, every day will be the same. Lying here in bed and doing the same thing every day"
Beomgyu pressed his lips together before speaking up again.
"Do you have any hobbies then?"
"I used to like singing...and composing a few lyrics from time to time...but my interest died down pretty fast"
Beomgyu contemplated for a few minutes until Taehyun tapped him on the shoulder.
"Break time is over."
Beomgyu whines before getting pushed forcefully out of the bed and gets thrown to do some physics worksheet he hated.
--
Beomgyu was lost in thought. After he found out about the small hobby Taehyun used to have. He wanted the boy to pick up this hobby again. He always thought that no matter what the reasons are behind losing interest in something. You would still have a small spark of wanting it back again. He wanted the boy to be interested in music again. He wanted the boy to feel inspired and excited to wake up and know what he can do instead of feeling bored and unmotivated every day.
Taehyun was smart, good with words, and had the kindest heart. He felt sad that someone so amazing like him would never enjoy the bits of life. He wants to change that. No matter how much time was left that he could spare with the younger. He was going all out to make him happy and shower him with all the new adventures they would have together.
--
Beomgyu asked to meet Mrs Kang. Taehyun's mother. She was sweet and calm like Taehyun. Beomgyu can tell where Taehyun got his pretty features from.
"Hi, Mrs Kang. How are you?"
"I'm doing great...and you must be Beomgyu?"
"Yeah...that's me"
"Taehyun has been speaking a lot about you lately, and I'm really thankful that at least he isn't as miserable as the past."
Beomgyu felt shy at her kind words, but he was here to ask for permission.
"So I was thinking...Whether I can bring Taehyun out with me."
"Going out?"
"Yeah...I want to bring him out to explore. Plus, he told me about his hobbies, maybe I can help him find his new motivation again. Some driving force"
"It's...a little risky. I don't think I can allow that."
Beomgyu's heart dropped immediately. Mrs Kang apologised before standing up, getting ready to leave. But before she could do so, Beomgyu was quick with his words.
"I'm sorry to bring this up in this conversation, but Taehyun does not have much time left...we don't know what his outcome is, so we can't be selfish and put away Taehyun's happiness just because you're scared of losing him. In all honesty, I'm really scared of losing him too, but I really can't bear to watch Taehyun's slumping shoulders or his dull eyes every time he talks about his day."
Mrs Kang knew whatever Beomgyu said was true when she thought of Taehyun's sad eyes or his bored features. She couldn't bear her son to stay depressed forever, and the only way to stop this was by trusting Beomgyu.
--
"Taehyunnie~ aren't you excited??? You are bout to hang out with one of the coolest people you can even lay your hands on."
"And who's that?"
"Who else? Of course, it's me Choi Beomgyu."
Taehyun rolled his eyes at the latter, he was used to seeing overconfident Beomgyu that he wouldn't feel annoyed anymore. He couldn't deny that life with Beomgyu's presence now was indeed more fun, and how he anticipated Beomgyu's arrival every day.
Taehyun was happy to change out of his gown into his ordinary clothes. He sat put on his wheelchair while Beomgyu secured the oxygen cylinder and some emergency supplies.
The nurse had given him a briefing, and he was more than confident that Taehyun would be safe in his hands. Mrs Kang was still worried, but she knew Taehyun needed this more than anything.
"Have fun, kids...come back soon."
Beomgyu pushes the wheelchair up to the wheelchair accessible car he rented.
"Are you sure you won't crash the car?" Taehyun was genuinely scared for his life; he doesn't fear death, but that doesn't mean he doesn't fear Beomgyu's driving skills.
"Hey, have some trust in me. You know I already started driving before my legal age, and you already know I'm a bastard in school."
"Not something to be proud of, but I'm just skeptical."
"No, you just like me too much so just sit back and relax, darling."
"I swear I'm going to hit you if you call me darling one more time."
"Darling~"
Before Taehyun can even rebut, Beomgyu pinches his cheek gently before closing the door and heading to the driver's seat.
Taehyun did not just feel his heart skip a beat...maybe he should start knocking sense into Beomgyu to not make him get a heart attack later.
--
Taehyun had never felt this happy in a long time. Beomgyu is definitely going on his favorite microorganism list in this world. He felt all sorts of emotions. Beomgyu really planned out this hangout well.
The raven-haired brought him to a cat cafe. The place not only smelled like his favorite fruit, strawberries, but it also served really good coffee and juice. Taehyun spent most of his time playing around with the cats, and Beomgyu watched from the side, smiling at the latter, who was oblivious of how smitten Beomgyu looked when it came to him.
He took a bite of the fresh strawberry and smiled while glancing at Beomgyu. The latter raised his brows at his reaction.
"Is it that good?"
"It is"
Beomgyu smiled back as he watched the younger boy eat. His heart was content, but there was a certain feeling he was trying to push away. And that was his fear.
--
Beomgyu proceeds to take Taehyun to a shop that sells all types of music CDs.
"Why are we here?" Taehyun shoots a curious stare as he looks around the shop.
"You know the radio you have in your ward. We should put it to good use. Let's buy some so you can play it."
Taehyun smiled as he ordered Beomgyu to push him around while he picked a few carols and song lists he wanted.
Beomgyu watched the boy's expression closely before speaking up again.
"Taehyun"
"Hm?"
"Do you want to try out your small hobby again?"
Taehyun blinked and looked at Beomgyu.
"You know, I can give you a small challenge if you're down."
"Challenge?"
"Since you told me to study hard and be top 10 in class for my grades. I'll also give you a task."
Taehyun was interested now.
"I'll give you a random instrumental...you write the song"
"You mean I compose the lyrics and everything?"
"Yeah...and I'll give you a recorder so you can record yourself singing. Then, when you're confident. You give it to me, and you own your first very own song."
Taehyun's eyes glowed with excitement.
"Yes, yes...I want to do it."
Beomgyu smiled and was happy that Taehyun was eager to do so.
"Sure, I'll give you your things tomorrow, so you just prepare for it."
After purchasing the CDs, Beomgyu decided to bring Taehyun to the final destination before sending him back to the hospital.
Once they arrived, Beomgyu opened the door and asked Taehyun to climb on his back. He carried the bag with the oxygen cylinder at the front while Taehyun clutched on his shoulder, allowing Beomgyu to walk him over to the beach.
The salty smell of the ocean instantly made Taehyun smile again as he hugged the raven's neck tightly. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore was all they heard, and it calmed both of their hearts down.
"Thank you for today...I think this is one of the best days of my life."
Beomgyu felt his heart skip a beat as he turned his head slightly, only to see Taehyun's watery eyes.
"Hey, hey...why are you crying?" Beomgyu was worried whether he had done something wrong.
"I'm just really grateful...and thanks to you, these few months were filled with joy and laughter," Taehyun spoke sincerely as he continued.
"Thanks to you, I get to see the beach after a long time. Thanks to you, I have something to look forward to every day in my life. Thanks to you, I feel happy...and I'm starting to feel scared."
Beomgyu fell into dead silence before questioning the younger.
"Why are you scared?"
"..."
"Because you're making me fear death again."
--
Back at the hospital, Beomgyu settled Taehyun back in his ward before he hurried out. Taehyun was confused why Beomgyu was in such a hurry and how he was silent right after they got back from the beach. He didn't want to question the latter so he just hoped the older boy would be back to normal again.
--
Beomgyu broke down in tears right after stepping out of the hospital. He fell in love with Taehyun, and he knows he can't have him no matter what. Why must fate be so evil and take this pure soul away? He can't bear to see Taehyun; he felt like just a mere eye contact would make him fall weak to his knees and beg the younger to not go, to never leave him, to always hold on to his hand no matter what. Beomgyu needed time, he needed to be away from Taehyun for a while before he could be strong again.
Midterms were also coming up. He was going to use it as his excuse to stay away, and also fulfill Taehyun's wish for him.
--
A little over a week passed, and Beomgyu never came to visit. Taehyun was a little hurt by the sudden disappearance, but Beomgyu had already reassured him he was just using the time to study. Taehyun sat in silence as he watched the rain pour outside. His body was acting up these days, and he knew he didn't have much time. Old Taehyun would be happy to know that his final days were right around the corner. He could finally leave this painful world behind. He had no connections or relationships he feared to let go, except feeling a little bad for his mother.
But present Taehyun was scared. What if one day he just doesn't wake up, and he would never see Beomgyu ever again? He was scared to sleep, scared to go out in case something happened. He hated how he feared death when he used to be carefree.
He was scared that one day he would become too weak to even confess his love to Beomgyu. The raven was not even visiting him anymore, which made him anxious. The task that Beomgyu gave him. He was working hard on it every day. He poured out his feelings and soul into music. It seems like music was growing back on him again. He would easily get inspired by many small things. Mrs Kang was happy to see some light back in Taehyun's life, but deep down she knew that her beloved son was going to leave...so it only downplayed her mood.
--
Midterms are finally over, and Beomgyu rushed over to the hospital the moment he got his results. Even if he wasn't strong enough to meet Taehyun again but he knew this was crucial. He ran as fast as he could, and the moment he was close to Taehyun's ward. Some voices could be heard inside as he peeks into the room, only to find Taehyun groaning in pain as his mother stood there holding his hand, tears rolling down her cheeks. The nurses were busy attending to him. Beomgyu was scared now...he was so scared, he ran away. He ran to the rooftop and sat in Taehyun's favorite spot.
He cried loudly, not caring about the others. No taehyun can't leave him now, not when he still has many unspoken words. Not right now, please...he prayed.
He sat there the whole day until he heard the news that Taehyun was back to normal. It was midnight, and Beomgyu made his way to the ward quietly. He watched the numbers of Taehyun's heart rate on the monitor and took in the beeping sounds. His nose was stuffy, and his eyes were swollen as he glanced down at the pale nature of the younger. He sat next to him, clutching Taehyun's cold hands, and rested his head on them. He was scared, but no matter what, he would love Taehyun all the way, and he was determined to spend the younger's last day by pushing his painful feelings away.
--
The next morning, Taehyun woke up from the ruckus around him. He slowly opened his eyes to see Beomgyu decorating the ward with random things. Like the mini Eiffel tower, the lights, the pastries, and bread.
Taehyun slowly sat up.
"What are you doing to my room?"
Beomgyu turned his head and smiled.
"Remember the time you said you wanted to travel around the world?"
Taehyun recalls the time in the cat cafe where Beomgyu asked him what he wanted to do the most if he were able to be free from the hospital, and he said he wanted to travel around the world.
Taehyun slowly realised that Beomgyu had turned his ward into a mini Paris. The lights, the Eiffel Tower, the baguettes, and the chocolate pastries. It all made sense now.
"Ah, and also one more thing, I got my results for my midterms."
Taehyun's eyes widen in surprise.
"What's your rank?"
"I'm top 8 in class."
"Omg Beomgyu...really??"
"Yes, yes. There's nothing I can't do" Beomgyu showed his cocky smile again, Taehyun misses this side of Beomgyu.
"You really did it."
"So I want a reward."
"A reward? What reward?"
"I want a hug. A good hug."
Taehyun smiles before muttering an "Of course you can."
Beomgyu hugged him tightly but was also careful not to hurt him. Taehyun's body was also slowly warming up, and he couldn't help but feel content. Beomgyu was holding his tears, he didn't want to cry and show his weak side to Taehyun as he buried his face at the crook of the latter's neck, taking in his scent and comforting presence.
--
The next few days were just Beomgyu turning his ward to different countries, and Taehyun was having so much fun as Beomgyu came up with funny scenarios, and the pain he felt didn't matter anymore.
Mrs Kang asked to meet up with Beomgyu, and the raven complied. He was now sitting at the cafeteria with Mrs Kang. The serious tension filled the air but Beomgyu didn't mind.
"Beomgyu...you know that Taehyun does not have much time left, right?"
Beomgyu stayed silent.
"I-I went to consult the doctor today and she said that Taehyun may leave anytime now...But I don't want to be selfish and keep him all to myself again."
Mrs Kang held on to the raven's hand.
"He doesn't have much more time, so please...make him happy in his last days. I'm sure Taehyun will love to spend his final days with you."
--
"Beomgyu" Taehyun called out since he didn't have any strength to be up and about like the old times.
Beomgyu came over to his side and caressed his cheeks.
"Yes?" The raven asked as he slowly took a seat. Taehyun stared at him with love and adoration in his eyes.
"Do you think I'll ever make it to heaven?"
Beomgyu wasn't expecting a question like that, but he was prepared to answer.
"Of course you will. You are a pure soul. Heaven's gates welcome you all the time".
Taehyun smiled at that.
"I think...being with you is better than heaven. I'm a bit scared...to go somewhere new without you."
Beomgyu was chewing on his lower lip, trying his best to stay calm and not let his tears slip put the corners of his eyes.
"I'm sure...you will adapt well since you're an angel. You know I learn so much from you, and I'm worried who else I should go to now since my lifelong teacher will be away."
Beomgyu's voice cracked a little while trying to finish his sentence.
"Beomgyu"
"Yes?"
"Have I ever told you that you're my favorite person in this world?"
Beomgyu shook his head as he clutched the younger's hand while watching him with teary eyes.
"You know...I feel so happy these days. So so happy, I want to experience more with you. Beomgyu...why must life be so harsh by gifting such a wonderful person to me when I'm in need to leave?"
Beomgyu couldn't help but let his tears flow.
"I wish I had met you earlier, but meeting you now is also enough. Thank you for showing me the sweetness in life. I love you... And I want you to have a bright future without me. Love someone who can stay by your side for a very long time."
"No, no taehyun please...I love you only, please, I don't want you to go. Please, please, I beg you. I can't let you go now...we just started...I don't want to"
Beomgyu broke down in front of Taehyun for the first time...and last. He choked on his tears and held the younger's hand so tightly, afraid that the younger would leave him if he let go.
"I love you too...Taehyun"
--
The grief started. Beomgyu knelt there in black while staring at the portrait of Taehyun when he was still healthy. His fist clenches in anger, eyes swollen and lips bruised from chewing on it for too long.
What is he going to do now?
What is he without Taehyun?
Beomgyu blamed himself for feeling angry, but how can Taehyun expect him to love someone else? He was in love with Taehyun, and it will forever be him. The sweet smile Taehyun gives him whenever he does a small gesture. His laugh, the way he sulks when Beomgyu doesn't listen to him. The way he would hum his favorite tune when he was happy. Beomgyu misses all of these, he misses him so much that he didn't know what to do.
Just then, Mrs Kang taps Beomgyu on his shoulder lightly.
"Beomgyu, are you okay?"
The raven looks up at Mrs Kang with teary eyes, and she only crouched down to hug him. Beomgyu sobbed as his hands clutched his pants tightly, crying out his sorrow.
Mrs Kang pulled away from the hug and wiped his tears using her sleeves.
"You have to stay strong for Taehyun...and he also left something for you."
Beomgyu looks down at the small box Mrs Kang passed him.
Once he reached home, he took a deep breath before slowly opening the box.
Inside was filled with pictures of them together, the recorder that Beomgyu gave him, and a letter.
Beomgyu was already tearing up before reading the letter or seeing the pictures closely, but he remained calm as he opened to read the letter.
"Oi Beomgyu, you're finally reading this. I hope you didn't just forget about me. How are you doing? Please don't say you're crying cause you look ugly when you do so. I know I said find a new lover, blah blah, so I'll only allow you to look at our photos once. Just once. About the challenge, are you proud that I finished composing the whole song? Since I'm not there to claim it as mine anymore. You can take it. My gift for you. Beomgyu, you're really the best, and please study hard, I swear if you fail another tangent question, I'm smacking your head. Anyways, this whole year was fun and filled with love and joy. Beomgyu, thank you for being my best friend...even if this is too late, but you know I love you lots, don't you? Let's meet again in our next life! Where I'm happy and healthy, there, so I can return the love and happiness you gave to me. I love you, Beomgyu...live a happy life for me :)
- from your favorite person Taehyun"
Beomgyu was smiling, but he still felt bitter as he clutched the letter in his hand, hugging it tightly. He loves Taehyun so much, but he was going to listen to Taehyun. He was going to live a great future so that Taehyun could be proud again. He stared at the photo of him and Taehyun together in the cat cafe. With Taehyun's sweet voice playing through the recorder. Beomgyu fell into deep thoughts. Taehyun was his everything. He finally spoke up after replaying the recorder for god knows how many times.
"Taehyun-ah, let's meet in our next life. I promise"
-end-