Work Text:
When Marinette woke up, she knew that something was wrong. She felt well rested and not tired at all. That is when it hit her. A double decker bus hit her full speed ahead and she was yeeted through her window and straight into the busy traffic of Paris.
She was barely conscious when she heard a song playing. "And if a double-decker bus crashes into us to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die". In the corner of her eye she saw the double-decker bus approaching her with full speed.
Marinette quickly gathered herself and ran for her life.
As she ran, thoughts of 'Monday Motivation' filled her mind, and Marinette found herself sprinting a little faster. While she ran, Marinette slipped out of her sports shoes, but she kept running. The pavement felt horrible underneath her soles.
But Marinette kept running nonetheless. She had a family to protect, a husband, a baby. By that, of course, she meant her dolls at home. If she were to never play with them again, they would simply vanish. Marinette came to a full stop before a red stop sign.
A shark was staring at her from the other side of the road, its sharp teeth forced up into a predatory smile. Oh, and the shark also had legs.
Suddenly the voice of Marinette's sports teacher came to her mind and she remembered what he had whispered into her ear whenever she felt like she couldn't go on.
"The FitnessGram Pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues."
Without a warning the shark began running towards Marinette with his long and slender legs. To Marinette's surprise the shark was even wearing high heels and could run much faster than her even though she was wearing sneakers.
Once more, Marinette's sneakers fell of. That was the second pair she'd ruined that day. "You will never escape us!", the shark yelled, and in a matter of seconds... he turned into the Sharknado.
Marinette could see her shoes flying straight into the Sharknado. Oh, and her house flew into the Sharknado, too. As did her parents and friends.
Now, Marinette was all alone. All of Paris was empty and inside the Sharknado. All except Chloé Bourgeois. Her worst nightmare, her greatest enemy, her... Chloe was crying. After all, the Sharknado had also just devoured her parents, and her only friend, Sabrina.
Marinette went over to Chloé and slapped her face hard. "Stop crying bitch! I was hit by a double decker bus and chased by a fucking shark!"
As if it were magic Chloé snapped out of her state of fright and hugged Marinette tightly. "It broke my heart to put your salad in the microwave when we were little!"
"What?", Marinette's deep and very manly voice sounded, followed by a quick command. "Gordan Ramsey, transform me!" With that Marinette turned into Gordon Ramsey on the spot.
"SHARKNADO, PREPARE TO BE COOKED!", he yelled, his magical hands aiming at the Shraknado. "Or maybe we could make Sushi out of it", Chloé suggested," That's actually some high-class food."
Marinordon rolled her eyes. "You have no idea what good high-class food is actually like. Your father only gave you cat food when you were little." Chloé's eyes widened. "But Daddykins always got me the good-!"
Marinordon slapped Chloè, effectively cutting her off. "Wrong! Your Daddykins only painted it to look like good food!" Then, she turned back to the Sharknado. "Time to make some goof, ol' Sharkfin-soup."
With the snap of a finger a bunch of Spartans appeared who carried black beans with them. They put everything into a large pot and mixed it with the blood of Gordon Ramsey, whom they had killed.
"What the fuck is that?", Marinette wanted to know while eyeing the black mixture with one eye open when I'm sleeping.
The Spartans only grabbed a bowl and a spoon and tasted it. "Good soup". The famous black soup was a delicacy the Spartans really enjoyed.
Marinordon nodded at the Spartans, also trying some of the soup. "This really is good soup", she confirmed, and handed Chloé a spoon of her own, who hesitantly tried some of the black soup as well.
"Can we try it with a bit of tuna?", she asked. "I expected a high-class chef and baker to actually cook me some good food." And that was when Marinordon realized that Chloe was actually a cat. She had a tail, and a pair of blond, fluffy ears. Then, Marinordon cut them off and put them into the soup. How would they taste? Marinordon couldn't help but wonder...
Chloé cried out in pain as she saw how Marinordon cooked her body parts into the soup. "I said cook me some actually good food! Not cook me!"
But Marinordon gave no fucks... not a single one. And so she cooked and cooked until Chloé was only a head with a torso. After all she only needed her mouth now.
Hour after hour Marinordon grilled the thick thunder thighs of Chloé until they were finger licking good. So good that even the Spartans started to dislike their Gordon soup.
After everything was well-done and not fucking raw they sat around a table and began to eat Chloé's legs and arms.
Then, after a good nap, Marinette finally detransformed. She burped once, then went to the only portable toilet left in Paris. Marinette took a big shit, and with it, all of Paris came out of her body.
Back were her parents, her house, her friends and her school.
Sadly, Marinette didn't make it. The police station ripped her body in two as it slipped out, leaving Paris without Ladybug, and without Marinette. But Gordon Ramsey was more than happy to fill that role.
