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Killjoy can't do this for much longer, she thinks. It was debilitating, removing her ability to function and do the simplest of things. All because of a crush on some girl.
The most beautiful, enigmatic, and mesmerizing girl who's ever walked the earth—yes, but that is not the point. She distracts Killjoy from her work, makes her feel all funny sometimes, and it's just a general annoyance when she's supposed to be doing something important, but her brain can't chase off her stupid, stupid face.
“KJ! join me for a walk. The weather is great tonight!” Raze grins as she barges into their shared workshop. It was cluttered with all manners of junk as usual, but Killjoy swears up and down that the mess was methodical.
“I'm taking your word for it.” Killjoy all but narrows her eyes before setting down her latest project and brushing debris off her pants, no questions asked. Not even when her newest bot concept was right on the precipice of being completed.
Raze grins even wider as she drags Killjoy along, and she ended up being right. The weather was just perfect, and it was right about time for sunset. Killjoy chatted idly with her partner (in crime. Only in crime, if Killjoy might add.) and enjoyed the atmosphere of the walk.
She might've really enjoyed it in peace if she didn't chance looking back and seeing the sunbeams of golden hour frame Raze in what was probably the most beautiful sight Killjoy ever will see. The orange light bounced off of her soft skin in just the right way, making her look absolutely ethereal.
Killjoy couldn't help but stop in her tracks. Very literally, causing Raze to walk back to the wide-eyed scientist.
“Uh, do you see something on my face?” Raze tilts her head with a soft, amused smile before turning around to gain some clue as to what's made her friend so speechless.
“Oh wow. I see what you mean. The sunset is beautiful today.” Raze squints her eyes as she rests her hands on her hips.
“Incredibly beautiful… today and always.” Killjoy manages to murmur as she gazes at her friend. The two stay there for a moment, enjoying the fleeting warmth of the sun. (Among other things)
She hates how she can pinpoint the exact moment where it all started, how shes gotten to this point. She's memorized the day when she finally admitted to herself that she may have had feelings for the firecracker of a duelist.
Three months, a week, and five days. Killjoy had to fall back for one mission due to an injury and Raze took it as her personal duty to see to it that she didn't have to move a muscle despite the sentinels protests.
“I've got your back, alright? I'll take it from here.” Raze holds Killjoy's gaze with her brows furrowed in exhaustion.
And take it she did. Not five minutes later and the omega agents were taken out for Killjoy to run her tests safely in the site. Raze expertly swept the site to ensure Killjoy's safety, displaying an impressive level of battle sense from the nade-wielding duelist. All for her sake.
For days after, that moment was all Killjoy could think about. And yet, for all those days, she still didn't admit it to herself. She just couldn't. Because that would set it in stone. Not even her gadgets could keep her busy from her pesky brain. A malfunctioning bot sits still in Killjoy’s hands as her brain drifts off to somewhere else. Maybe it was to omega earth, because right now it feels like the damn organ was actively working against her.
As fate would have it, the very girl of her dreams waltzes in and takes one look at the project before chiding her and fiddling with it herself.
“Geez, Gatinha. What's gotten into you?” Raze shakes her head as she proceeds to enumerate everywhere Killjoy went wrong.
Offended as she should have felt, no feelings of the sort arose. And in its place came pure, unadulterated awe.
At this moment, Killjoy finally knew she had it bad. Something clinked just right within her head, and there it was. The revelation of a lifetime.
She liked Raze. She like liked her.
It now made some of her weirder than usual actions sense, but in turn made a lot of her actions going forward a bunch of non-sense. It just wasn't logical anymore. Especially because she knows she had no chance. Raze is quite literally one of the most beautiful girls Killjoy has ever had the pleasure of laying her eyes on, with a brain which was just as beautiful to match. They were much, much too different. Raze was friendly and beautiful in all the was Killjoy wasn't—it truly wouldn't work out in the end. This, Killjoy was convinced of.
“Me? Dating anyone in the protocol? That's hard. Maybe Jett! Or… Reyna. She's hot, in a scary type of way.” Raze muses at the question Killjoys presents her. Killjoy doesn't know what came over her to ask that. It was a dumb question.
“Really? Haha, you have a weird taste in women.” Killjoy grins in a totally not awkward way.
“What about you, KJ? Anyone you'd find worth fraternatizing with?” Raze raises and lowers her brows teasingly.
“There's none of the sort. I asked so I could report you to Brimstone for breaking fraternization rules, since stealing my spare parts is apparently negligible.” Killjoy laughs dryly as she mimes air quotes over the last word. Nice save.
“You wound me, Klara. You really do.” Raze clutches at her chest in faux pain. Before breaking and grinning once more.
But hell, even if Raze hypothetically reciprocated Killjoy’s own feelings, they wouldn't even be allowed to date because of the recently approved no fraternization within the protocol rule. It was a good rule, Killjoy thought. Fraternization would only lead to complications, and yet knowing that information didn't stop these feelings that were irrational and plain dumb.
Sage glares at Reyna with contempt. The duelist in question doing little other than smirking and looking away at some imaginary figure within the clouds.
The rest of the team stays quiet throughout the palpable tension between the two. Killjoy rolls her eyes and makes an unamused face at the two's blatant unprofessionalism before locking eyes with Raze—beautiful smile and all—and suddenly gaining an interest in whatever the hell it was that Reyna is looking at.
She hated Raze, truly. Hated her pretty face, her intellectual brain, her mesmerizing eyes, and those impossibly warm hands of hers—
“Killjoy, breakfast is ready. Brimstone is expecting you.” Knocking resounds through her half-bedroom half-workshop as Sage does the rounds for all the younger agents. Technically they did have the responsibility of setting their own alarms, but most of the time, they failed to actually leave their rooms. Too busy doing step god-knows-what of their morning routine. This leaves Sage to take it upon her own hands to nudge the agents towards a healthy regular routine.
“Fifteen minutes.” Bless you Sage for pulling me out memory lane. The day needed to start. She couldn't spend all day reminiscing about that girl. (Killjoy didn't even want to think of her name anymore. It's too early to be thinking of her this much.)
“Klara! Get out faster, I'm hungry! I can't eat without you.”
Killjoy freezes at the sound of the voice muffled by the door. Today was going to be a long day.