Chapter Text
☾⭒⛤𝅗𝅥⛈𝅗𝅥⛤⭒☽
"Remus? Is that you?" He remembers rolling his eyes.
"Who else would it be?" He locked the door behind him, entering and following the hustling sounds to their bedroom. "I hope that was not an indication of cheating, or worse, of your friends having a spare key to our place." Grant smiled teasingly, while Remus walked into the bedroom and kissed his cheek.
"God forbid I’m granted the same privileges you are." Remus marched into the bathroom to shower and wash away the stench of anxiety that always coated the halls of the school he taught at during exam season. "If I remember correctly, every single one of your friends has a spare key to our flat."
"You’re talking as if you weren’t infatuated with all my friends." He said, loud enough to be heard through the sound of running water. "Didn’t you and James attend months of cooking class together because according to you, Lily and I didn’t give you time to talk on our double dates?"
"You’re never letting go of that, are you?" Remus couldn’t see him but knew he wore a fond smile on his lips. "Maybe I asked if it was you because I had been expecting James, who we both know has a spare key."
"Which you gave to him."
"He got jealous because Lily got one."
"Lily is sensible enough to have a spare key." Remus walked into the room again, a towel around his neck to stop his wet hair from ruining the warmnth of the jumper he put on. This time he stopped and admired Grant properly, eyes sliding through his well-fitted trousers and the burgundy button-down Mary had given him on his birthday. And then his eyes found the open luggage at the foot of the bed. "Are you packing for Christmas already? Babe, it’s June."
"I’m not packing for Christmas. ‒ He sighed and sat on the bed, his eyes running along Remus’s torso while the taller man slid into a loose shirt. "I’m moving out."
☾⭒⛤𝅗𝅥⛈𝅗𝅥⛤⭒☽
Remus used to think he was the sensible one. And yet, he wasn't able to grasp how he got himself in this position. James wolf-whistled from his place on
their
his couch.
"Moony, I have to say, you are the only bloke I know who can look hot in beige." Remus frowned at him, his reflection contradicting the statement.
"Glad you liked it, James. I plan on repeating this outfit at your wedding in just a few months." James laughed like he thought Remus was joking, which he wasn’t.
"I’m not saying this just to cheer you up, mate. I mean it, you look great!" Remus smiled at him earnestly. He knew how much James and the others had been worried since Grant left. And he knew it took a while for him to at least appear fine. In fact, he probably looked so bad in the first weeks James refrained from sharing at length how much he liked Grant, how much he would miss him. Remus was very aware of that, anyway.
Remus stared at the ceiling, once again going through their last, long conversation. It was a ritual by now, even almost two months after Grant left, he still went religiously through everything they said that Thursday afternoon. Sometimes because he missed Grant's voice, sometimes because he needed to be reminded of the few small things Grant asked for. The first one was to not contact him for a while, and give him space so he wouldn't be tempted to come back. Remus was respecting his space, he didn’t call, text, or beg Lily on his knees for updates. He was a firm, stubborn person. He tried to decipher Grant’s Spotify activity at least once a week, but only that insignificant contact. That reminder that Grant was alive, doing his own things Remus was unaware of, somewhere Remus had never been in, but at least he knew wherever it was Deep Purple was playing. And that made his heart feel a little more settled.
The second thing Grant asked was for him to wait until their two-month deposit was over to move out of the flat. Remus knew this rule came from the memories of the two of them four years before, struggling with double shifts and walking everywhere they could to save the deposit money for their very own small flat. Those same memories made Remus pay the last two months of rent, too attached to the memories etched into the dull walls to begin house hunting. He was home, he didn’t see a point in leaving it when it still felt right.
"Pads should be landing soon." James commented, as excited for Sirius's presence at twenty-five as he had been at seventeen. Remus's heart soared a little at the prospect, something he blamed Grant for. "We need a night out next week, Marauders only. I miss being us four."
"I’m down." He attempted nonchalance, but James was not having it if his blinding grin was any indication. "I miss it too. Being the four of us. You, Pete and Pads are my best mates." He admitted, cheeks warm.
"Moony!" James got up to hug him. "You never used to admit things like that, old age is softening you up!" His strong arms squeezed Remus’s middle mercilessly, disregarding Remus's fake attempt at struggling.
"Prongs, let me go! I don’t think it’s old age, perhaps being exposed to you all these years is finally having side effects on my mind." James chuckled against his suit. "Prongs, I won’t iron this bloody thing again, don’t rumple it!"
The doorbell rang, and they sprang apart to stare at the door for a second.
"Can’t believe Pete started to be punctual after years of being late to all our classes. Probably lost his key again." He walked towards the mirror in the hallway to check how presentable the suit still looked, and motioned with his head for James to get the door. "Open for him, Prongs? Make that key of yours useful."
"On it, Moons!" He ran his hands through the fabric, heard the door opening, and the following delighted gasp James let out. "Pads!"
Remus paused. Sirius’s familiar laughter unfurling something warm inside his chest. He was supposed to be the sensible one, and yet.
"Moony! Padfoot is here!" James beckoned him, sounding happier than at any point in the previous year, save for the week after Lily accepted his proposal. Remus walked into the living room, trying and failing to ignore Grant’s voice in the back of his mind.
Sirius looked good. Healthy, tanner than usual, his hair orderly instead of messy, mischief glinting in his greyish-blue eyes.
"Hi, Pads." He welcomed, hating how shy that sounded. "How was your flight?"
Sirius ignored the question and stepped into his space, hands pulling Remus by his waist into a fierce hug.
"Shit, did you get any taller?" Sirius cursed humouredly against his chest. He stepped back to look at Remus’s face. "You look good, Moony."
"Thanks, Pads. You too." His eyes took Sirius’s black suit in. "I think it’s the first time in eight years I've seen you with no piece of leather on. Are you feeling well?" Sirius scoffed and punched his chest.
"Couldn’t wear the jacket today, Alice would rip my balls out. But I will put on something extravagant for Marls’s big day in December."
"Marls will remove your balls way more viciously than Alice ever could, Pads."
"Guess you’ll have to defend me, Moonshine. I mean, unless you want a neutered wedding date." It was Remus's turn to scoff.
"I have no preference whatsoever. You should try to sign Prongs and Pete as your balls’ protectors, my bravery has dried through the years."
"Prongs, you heard that?" He went to James, sighing overdramatically. "Moony is saying he wouldn’t lift a finger to protect my physical integrity!"
"Moony is a cruel, cold man, Padfoot." James chastised, shaking his head. "I warned you against involving yourself with him." Remus rolled his eyes at their antics, feeling unbearably nostalgic and fond.
"Thanks for the trust, Prongs. If I recall correctly, weren’t you the one who said Padfoot should accompany me?"
"Good reminder, I’m still waiting for heartfelt thanks for that one. I saved the two of you from attending alone not one but three weddings!"
The sound of loud knocking interrupted Remus and Sirius’s protests.
"Guys! We’re gonna be very late!" Peter warned. "James, Lily already texted me twenty times to complain you’re not there yet." Remus checked the clock on the wall, internally cursing like a sailor.
"Can’t believe I spent half an hour mucking about with the two of you!" The three of them sprang into action, James putting on his jacket, Sirius throwing his luggage down the hallway, Remus struggling to knot his tie. "Pete, are we going in your car?"
"Yes!" Sirius opened his mouth, but thankfully Peter knew him too well. "I’m driving!"
"C’mon, Pete!" Sirius complained, opening the door. "We’ll get there faster if I drive! Prongs, back me up here!" Remus gave up on his tie to watch, very amused, James not meeting Sirius’s eye.
"Yeah, Prongs." He joined. "Don’t you love Padfoot’s driving?"
"Pads…" He sighed. "You’re my best mate, my soul mate…" Remus and Peter exchanged devious smiles. Sirius bristled like a teapot.
"But?"
"You are not a very responsible driver." Remus gave up and snorted, and Peter followed him in full-blown laughter. Trust James to provide the understatement of the decade.
"You’re way too soft on him, Prongs." Remus commented, pushing both of them out of the flat, locking the door behind them. "Pads, you drive like a maniac. Now, gentlemen, I believe we have a wedding to attend."
☾⭒⛤𝅗𝅥⛈𝅗𝅥⛤⭒☽
Grant would have loved Alice and Frank’s wedding, Remus thought while hearing them say their vows. He would have teased James for crying, and he would have loved the colour palette they chose for the bridesmaids and flowers. Remus could almost hear his impressed whistle, and the absence of it made him a tad more melancholic than the happy occasion allowed for.
"Moons," Sirius called from beside him, his hand leaving his lap to lay on Remus’ leg. Voice very low to not disrupt the other guests, or Peter and James. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, sorry, just got distracted." Sirius examined his face for a moment before turning back to the ceremony, his hand remained on Remus’ leg, which thankfully kept him more grounded on what was being said and less likely to wonder what he was doing there.
When he first faced the year filled with weddings they would have, he wanted to skip at least one. Grant was not having it, of course, in fact, he rolled his eyes when Remus commented on how tiresome it would be for them to attend so many events. He said, in his no-nonsense tone, “Well, I’m going to all of them, so are Peter, and James and Lily. All people far more insistent than me, so good luck staying home, dear.” and Remus accepted defeat and sighed, which earned him a laugh and an amused kiss. He knew it was a lost battle from the start, Grant was the more outgoing one out of them, but Remus didn’t like watching Grant leave their place without him, they were a package deal.
Or at least they had been.
Once he left, Remus thought he would never leave the house again, not to go to bars, not to visit friends, but especially not to go to their friend’s weddings. It would be too much for him to wear the suits he and Grant choose together and celebrate all that love while he was heartbroken. It would be understandable too, most of the brides and grooms would show him a sad smile, but they would understand. James and Lily would sooner postpone their wedding than allow him not to attend, so Remus was never missing theirs, but he could take all the months before to stay quiet and get himself together. He wasn’t allowed such a gracious opportunity. While he was leaving him and asking him for things, so the process could be less awful, Grant asked him not to miss the weddings they RSVP ' d on by using their break-up as an excuse to shut himself out. Remus, foolish and always warmed and disarmed by how well Grant knew him, agreed.
"You remind me of my late husband, he was very tall as well." Alice’s grandmother said while looking up at him. Remus supposed everyone was very tall from her point of view, his neck would probably be hurting later from the odd angle it was on. They were already dancing for twenty minutes, and James and Sirius were having way too much fun staring at him swaying the little old lady around. "He was a better dancer, though."
"Sorry for the lack of practice." He answered, concealing his embarrassment the best he could.
"It’s fine." She said. "I never danced too well either, probably why I married him."
"Because he was a good dancer?" He asked, less to keep the conversation flowing and more because he was curious. She thought for a few seconds before answering.
"Because he never made me feel bad for not being one." He smiled at her, she smiled back, and suddenly he felt more hopeful for the rest of the party.
☾⭒⛤𝅗𝅥⛈𝅗𝅥⛤⭒☽
"Nothing could ever top Lily’s speech." Peter claimed, swaying drunkenly while they got ready to leave. "Alice’s mom laughed so hard she had to leave the room."
"Lily is always brilliant." James predictably agreed. "But their vows? God, someone should publish that thing she said about how he made her feel so honest and happy she “forgot what fear tasted like”. Did you hear that? They were meant to be, they make each other so happy."
"Jesus, Prongs, don’t tear up again." Sirius complained, throwing his arm over James’s shoulder, tone filled with affection. "They really went all out with the vows, they were a little overdone, but very well written."
"Oh, you sounded a bit arrogant just now, Pads." Remus teased. "Is that your professional voice?"
"Sorry for being an acclaimed writer, Moons." He bit back, smile blinding. "Of course, we don’t need to ask which was your favourite part. Swear to god you spent half the day chatting up Alice’s grandmother."
"Yeah, Moony, you left your wedding date all alone!" James exclaimed, happy to gang up on him.
"I apologise, mates. It’s just that it’s so hard to have a sensible conversation being friends with the three of you, I had to seize the opportunity." The three of them made outrageously offended noises and began tackling him.
"Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe we’re all adults, I’ve been in this same spot of witnessing you dumbasses drunkenly tackling Remus since we were fifteen." Lily commented, wearing her coat over her shoulders and ready to leave. Her voice made James stop and beam at her, which made Sirius roll his eyes and Remus and Peter fall into laughter. "Pub with the girls or home?"
"Don’t think I can drink any more." Peter complained. "Can I crash at yours, Moons?"
"Of course, Pete. Who is driving us there?" They all looked at Lily, who was shaking her head, incredulous and content at once.
"I hate all of you." She said, taking Peter’s keys. "You get here late, you get drunk off your asses, and you flirt with Alice’s grandmother."
"I wasn’t flirting with her!" Remus attempted to defend himself while the other three snickered. Even Lily was snorting until they got into the car. "Just because I became single, I suddenly can’t talk to another single person, and it’s automatically flirting?"
"She was giggling, Remus. And you were complimenting her left and right!" Peter added, while James and Sirius kept chuckling.
"She is a fascinating woman!" He exclaimed, and the whole car roared with laughter. He soon joined them, happier than he had been in many months.
Once the laughter quieted down, Sirius turned the radio on, and they all sang some random catchy pop song, getting the lyrics so wrong, Remus felt bad for whoever the singer was. Lily and James dropped them off, Sirius holding Peter’s snoring form and Remus doing his best to line the key and the keyhole.
"You suck at that, Moons." Sirius commented, snorting very low.
"Your sex-related jokes have not improved since our teenage years, Pads." He complained, though the smile on his face didn’t fool either of them.
Once they got in, Sirius threw Peter on the couch, waking him up and leading to an argument so stupid, that Remus's brain was pointedly not processing any of it. He went into the bedroom to look for the sleeping bag for Sirius, who had a weird aversion to his bedroom ever since he moved into the flat.
"Well, you aren’t very high on that list, Pads." Peter grumbled. Remus was unhappy to realise he was listening once again.
"And you are Pete?" He threw the sleeping bag on the floor, behind the couch, and started throwing pillows on it with little coordination.
"Well, I think so. We all thought Moony would be the first, but now…" Remus stopped what he was doing.
"What are you talking about?" Sirius didn’t look at any of them when he answered.
"Who is going to get married first, well not first I guess, that’s Prongs."
"Did you and Grant ever talk about it?" Peter asked, Remus was seated now, the alcohol numbing any hurt the question could inflict.
"Sort of." A pause. Not heavy, but expectant.
"Did you want to?" Peter, god bless him, always had more guts than any of them regarding the hard questions.
"I guess." Peter snorted, so did Remus. Sirius remained quiet, still looking at the ceiling. "I found a ring a week and a half before he left. We talked about it, but he didn’t actually ask."
"Jesus." Sirius, before letting out a deep sigh. "You were going to say yes?" Remus nodded, then realised Sirius wasn’t looking at him and gathered the words.
"Yes." Peter climbed to the back of the couch to look at him, eyes sad and gentle. "I never thought much about it, but it would be logical, right? We were together for five years. I never thought I could be with someone for that much time."
"But you were." Pete, trying to sound encouraging.
"I was. And it was good." He sighed. "I can’t see it happening again, something feeling that permanent. I’m probably behind you on that list now, Pads."
"I guess you are." Sirius answered, still lying on the armchair, looking up. They all let a simultaneous deep breath, then fell asleep as they were, scattered across the living room.