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Amane and ryugi had this new ritual of meeting In an abandoned music room after school, it started shortly after they started dating.
Most times they spent thier time talking and teasing each other affectionately but sometimes it pushed a little further than that.
Ryugi is still not really confident in doing anything other than kissing so that's all they ever did.
They were reading a romance manga together while sitting on the floor, Amane rested his head on top of Ryuji's shoulder almost as if it were the most comfortable place on earth. The atmosphere around was the calmest part of these little moment where they would sneak out together.
The curtains fluttered on the wind that pushed past the open windows and created a calming rhythm of sounds that blended with thier breathing, suddenly Amane raises his head, much to Ryuji's confusion and rested his chin on top of the shoulder instead, his gaze steady and unwavering at Ryuji's face.
Ryuji was already used to this, he would do this at random moments, once when he asked why, Amane said it's because he was "super handsome". The brunette haired boy was always the type to be straight forward about what he thought but sometimes Ryuji needs him to hesitate a little.
Amane staring at him always proves to be a problem, he wasn't the only one that was "super handsome" his brunette hair shifted weakly with the curtain due to the wind, his lips were always hydrated and...shiny, his moles that were scattered across his face and neck always looked beautiful to the raven haired boy, everything that was Amane's face was inevitably beautiful if he told the truth.
All his delicate features, habits, speaking and even delicate kisses that he received from Amane just angered him more and more, it angered him thinking about he used to give his body away to older men who could never ever value him, men who had no idea how to take care of something so precious, something so easy to fall in love with.
It also angered him thinking about how those undeserving older men have seen Amane at his most vulnerable state and have touched and tasted all of him. He's happy that Amane trusts him enough to tell him all about his past endeavors but honestly it might have made it worse.
He was just nervous, the brunette boy seemed to be really experienced with sex but he wasn't and he wanted him and Amane's first to be amazing and be way better than any other sex that he might have already had, he wanted to remove all those memories with other people and replace them with his own memories, only him, the brunette boy was only for him and no one else.
He couldn't possibly let Amane he has all these thoughts because then he would feel obligated to have sex with him, to fulfill HIS own selfish desires and that's not how he wants thier first time to be like.
The raven haired boy had already made up his mind, the next day, which was a weekend, he would take them both out and well...maybe something happen. He had already mentally prepared and he had properly educated himself on what he should know, the only thing he knew is that Amane had previously said he preferred to be on the receiving side.
He was still very much nervous but he trusts that Amane would tell him know if he wanted anything, he was a very vocal person after all.
. . . . . . . . . .
Amane on the other hand was in no rush to have sex with Ryuji, he enjoyed the intimacy that they already had perfectly fine, but if Ryuji did want to do it, he'd be more than glad to, he loves him after all.
The brunette boy's curiosity did pique from time to time, about how Ryuji would behave in bed, what sounds he would make and most especially how it felt to have sex with with the person you love, people always say it's amazing, Amane wonders if it'll be just as amazing as they say, but he was also aware that Ryuji was a virgin so he was in no rush at all to have sex.
But sometimes, Ryuji didn't make it easy, he still remembers a faithful day when the were sharing an innocent kiss at Amane's house. They were alone but it really didn't make any difference to Amane at the time.
But while they kisses -as they usually would- Ryuji kept in breathing really hard, harder than usual, it was because it was really hot at the time and honestly Amane thought it was the hottest thing in the world, but still, he hid his growing horniness with practiced expertise.
Or so he thought, Ryuji then pulled away and apologized for breathing so hard and that "the weather was hot and kissing makes him even hotter" Amane's heart rang a resounding bell warning to get as far away from him as possibly so he mumbled an excuse an ran away.
At the time the brunette boy wondered if Ryuji could hear himself at all when said such unfair things in the most husky voice imaginable. Then he quickly realized that him mind and Ryuji's mind are really different. Initially he had no problem with that, but recently he'd be lying if he said that insecurities didn't start seeping into him.
He often found himself wondering if the raven haired boy even found him sexually attractive, or appealing in that way. He found himself having dreams of Ryuji's voice whispering words he wanted to hear for him so very badly, so very tragically. Alas, he could never imagine himself asking for such things from Ryuji, no, he simply couldn't.
. . . . . . . . . . .
Oh no, God no...he was doing it again, the catastrophe that was Amane putting on sunscreen, Ryuji doesn't even remember when all this started, maybe his body just randomly decided that seeing his boyfriend protect himself from the sun's ultraviolet rays was now his biggest weakness.
He averted his gaze, focusing on the plants he was watering, the brunette boy on the other side seemed oblivious of Ryuji's burning gaze and longing eyes, not even his thin lips pressed ever so tightly as he swallowed a lump and his Adam's apple bobbed up, it was agonizing to feel all the things Ryuji felt, the way he felt them. It was agony he could end.....right then, yes, he could end it right away, he could speak to Amane, confess all the things he's thought, all of the things he'd done-
"Amane-san?" Ryuji's little brother called out. He snaps out if his trance, fully sober and utterly ashamed. "How many moles do you have?" The small boy asked curiously. Amane looks surprised at the question but answers anyway. "Let's see, four on my face, three on my neck and chest, six on my back, one Is close to my bellybutton too! Oh an one more on my hip! So...fifteen." "I'm going to the kitchen...thirsty" the raven boy announced awkwardly as he stomped off into the kitchen.
Amane senses Ryuji's discomfort and goes after him immediately. "Are you good?" He asked cautiously. "I'm alright" a lie. "Are you sure? You don't have to lie...you can tell me anything." The brunette boy reassures.
Ryuji bites his lip anxiously. "Don't hate me okay?" He pleads, tired if lying and pretending he didn't want Amane so badly, so reverently. "I could never hate you...unless you cheated...did you cheat?" He asks, one part serious, one part joking. "No, no, never" Ryuji answered defensively. "Spit it out then, it can't be that bad..."
. . . . . . .
Amane swallowed quietly. "Jealous of them? Who?" The raven haired boy balled up his fists at his side. "The men, the ones who've touched you, felt you, gave you pleasure, seen you undressed, caressed you, seen you vulnerable...oh God, seen you fully engrossed in- seen your curves, your blemishes, you're God-damned fifteen moles"
Amane stood speechless. "Oh my God..." was all he could muster before his knees failed him, he crouched down on the floor, steadying his breath as Ryuji quickly checked on him worriedly.
"I'm sorry, I got...passionate" Ryuji says softly. Amane stares at the ground, gathering himself. "That the single most sexist thing anyone has ever said to me ever..." he finally manages to say. The ravenette goes red and clears his throat. "Well um, thank you?" Amane laughs, sort of hysterically..."all this time that's all I wanted to hear from you".
. . . . . . .
"Are you Okay?" Amane asked after pulling away, it was the first time that they kissed this long, or this passionate, or this messy.
"I'm better than Okay, I'm ecstatic, I'm so happy, Amane, I love you so-" Amane kisses him again. "Please, shut up".