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“Look, all I'm saying is, it's stupid,” Cam says, signing as he speaks so that Jesinia can keep up. “No wonder they didn't go with it in the end.”
“It's fucking ingenious, is what it is,” Dain barks out a laugh, signing as he argues. I glance over at Jesinia, who just rolls her eyes at how quickly the guys started to talk about absolutely ridiculous history facts. “Dropping XL condoms on the Soviets, marked as Medium?”
“Whoops, we accidentally dropped tens of thousands of monster sized condoms for our tens of thousands of monster sized dicks? On our enemies? Come on! It's pathetic.”
“It was the Cold War! Don't tell me you wouldn't be thinking twice about fighting us if that dropped on you?”
“No!”
“Okay, Mr. Hotshot war general, what would you do?”
That shuts Cam up for a second as he thinks, nodding a thank you as the waitress comes over with our drinks. When she asks if we're ready to order, we ask her to come back, having been too busy talking about condoms and the Cold War to even look at the menu.
No matter how much I love my life in Durham, sometimes I really miss this group.
As the waitress turns around to leave, Cam leans forward a little bit and I know he's ready to go off and I'm grateful to hear my phone vibrate on the table.
Turning it over to see the screen, I let out a breath of relief at seeing the caller ID.
Xaden.
I haven't seen him in three weeks, not since I drove up to Baltimore and I won't see him for another week, when I drive back home.
Worse than not seeing Xaden for three weeks, however? I haven’t heard his voice for ten days. Not since the guys left for their annual summer camping trip. I knew they were driving back to Durham today and Dain has already laughed at how many times I’ve glanced at my phone, waiting for him to get in touch.
He's leaving for Durham tomorrow morning to meet up with Sloane for the rest of the summer, and to officially meet Liam.
Good luck, Dain.
“Order for me if she’s back before I am,” I tell him now and he bumps my shoulder as I answer, putting the phone to my ear the same second I shuffle out from the booth we’re sitting at, wanting somewhere a little more private.
“Hi,” I breathe out, already smiling and I see Dain shake his head in amusement, either at me or Cam’s plans for how to make the Soviets fear us, but I don’t care about either of them.
“Hey,” Xaden answers immediately, and hearing the smile in his voice makes me smile wider.
“I missed you.”
Pushing the door to the diner open, I walk out into the early summer evening, a small breeze hitting me. I love summers in Baltimore, especially now that I'm familiar with the humidity of Durham. Baltimore can definitely still be sticky, but we had some rain this morning and right now the outside air is just fresh .
“Fuck, love, you have no idea.”
I think I do, though, because as I lean against the wall of the building, I can almost swear that the car just driving past me belongs to Xaden.
It's just a black SUV, I tell myself as I shake my head and sigh. It's not his black SUV.
“When did you get back home?”
“In a few minutes,” he tells me, which surprises me. I can't hear any of the guys in the background.
“Tell me about your trip,” I say, even though I should get back inside. I can call him later, but for now I just want to hear his voice for a bit more.
“I don't want to talk about that,” he says and I hear some rattling and then a car door shuts next to him. “I want to talk about you. What are you doing right now?”
“I’m out to dinner with some friends, I should probably get back inside.”
He hums in my ear and it sends a shiver through my spine. When he speaks, his voice is dripping with sin. “What are you wearing?”
I can feel my cheeks flush, the words taking me back to the night before his camping trip and the hour long session of phone sex we ended up having. I can feel a tingle of pleasure between my legs at the memory, and I shake my head as I laugh.
God this man and the effect he has on me.
“I'm out to dinner with friends, what do you think I'm wearing?”
“I think,” he drawls and I lean my head against the brick behind me, my eyes fluttering close. Maybe if I close my eyes, I can pretend that he's here, next to me. “That your hair is in a braid, hanging over your shoulder in that sexy way that drives me half insane sometimes.”
I hear myself laughing again, because that's not hard to guess.
“And I think you're wearing a tight little skirt that probably makes your ass look great. I also think you're wearing a tight little black top that gets me hard.”
I open my eyes, confused at how he knows exactly what I'm wearing.
“How-”
“Fuck, Violet, I think that if I don't get my hands on you in the next ten seconds I might actually die.”
I'm already pushing myself off the wall, my eyes scanning my surroundings, quickly sweeping past the people walking by me on the sidewalk, jumping to the other side of the street and dismissing the couple that walks hand in hand. There. My eyes stop on the tall, broad figure crossing the street in long strides and my heart jumps as my brain catches up with what I'm seeing.
I'm in his embrace before he's even fully across the street, his arms lifting me with ease as I slam into his hard body. One of his hands snakes around my waist as the other one rests on my ass, holding me up as I lock my legs around him and cling to him.
He's here.
“Three weeks is too fucking long,” I hear him complain into my hair before he nuzzles it away with his face, his lips pressing against the side of my throat. “Fuck, you smell good.”
“It's soap,” I say as I inhale him, letting his scent fill my nose. Mint and a hint of leather and citrus and mine.
“It's just you.”
Leaning out, I grab his face with both of my hands so that I can take a proper look at him. He’s so ridiculously handsome, with those onyx eyes and sharp angles and soft mouth. His hair is a bit longer than last time I saw him, and if he went straight from camping to here, which I suspect, he stopped at home to shower and shave first.
I drink him in for a moment as he does the same with me, but then his eyes linger on my mouth and the tip of his tongue brushes against his lips.
“Stop staring and just kiss me,” I tell him and his eyes flicker up to mine again as he flashes me a grin that’s so beautiful it almost breaks my heart.
How is this man real? And how is he mine?
He doesn't give me any time to think about it, his mouth crashing into mine the next second. The kiss is a strange combination of soft and greedy at the same time, his tongue pushing straight into my mouth and he takes his time to explore my mouth, as if making sure nothing has changed since I last saw him. I do the same to him, tasting him thoroughly and I ignore the waves of pleasure that builds in me every time his tongue flicks in my mouth. It could be minutes or hours before we break apart.
When I open my eyes again, he's looking at me, his eyes hazy and hungry and full of desire.
“I'm going to let you down now,” he says, his voice rough and strained and then I'm sliding down his body, and I swallow back a moan as I feel the hard bulge in his jeans. The second my feet hit the ground he’s already rearranging my skirt. As his hands travel back up my body, his fingertips linger on the sliver of skin between the high waistline of my skirt and the hem of my crop top, so tight it's basically glued to my upper body. His fingers brush underneath it, thumbs grazing the skin above my ribs, and then he swallows loudly and pulls his hands back to rest on my waist.
I hold on to him a little tighter, twisting my fingers in his shirt. “How long do I have you?”
“Sunday,” he answers simply, pulling a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. That's two whole nights, which is a lot better than going a full week without seeing him. “I'm going to find a hotel, call me when you're done with dinner?”
As he moves to take a step back, his hands falling to his sides, I grab hold of him, twisting my fingers with his. Refusing to let him go.
“One, don't be ridiculous. You're coming home with me. And two, come inside.”
“You're in the middle of dinner.”
“We haven't ordered yet. Eat with us. Meet my friends. I want you to.”
His eyes soften and I already know I've won before he leans back down to brush his lips against mine for a few seconds.
“I’ll need to stay close behind you for introductions,” he breathes out against my lips before he presses me into him, into his erection, and I laugh again as I turn around, dragging him along with me back inside.
“God, men.”
“You have absolutely nothing to laugh about, do you have any idea how privileged you are? You've truly never suffered if you've never attempted to take a piss right after waking up.”
“Again, men.”
His hand moves quickly from the small of my back down to my ass, squeezing slightly before coming back up to rest on my lower back, the simple movement causing a jolt of pleasure to run up my spine.
“Who are you here with?” he asks me, changing the topic just as we get closer to the booth. “I see Dain.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “Dain, Cam and Jesinia. The three of us went to school together, Dain got roped in one summer. She's deaf, by the way, but great at reading lips so you should be fine.”
Dain, the only one facing us, looks up as we get closer. He stops speaking and signing mid-sentence, shaking his head in defeat. “For fuck's sake, my one ally for tomorrow is here?”
“Stupid move to count on him as your ally,” I reply, grinning, and Dain scoots in to make room for the two of us.
“At least you won't be brooding anymore.”
“I'm not brooding.”
“She's totally brooding,” Dain argues, looking up at Xaden. “Has been ever since you took off on that trip.”
“Have you now?” Xaden grins wickedly at me and I slide in next to Dain, pulling Xaden along with me. As soon as he’s down, I reflexively slide a little closer to him, closer than I need to be.
Facing the other two, one warm hand comes down under the table to rest on my knee. “Cam, Jes, this is Xaden.”
“Ah, the famous boyfriend,” Cam smiles, and Jesinia signs “you're right, he’s hot.”
His ego is already big enough, so I don't translate and shoot Dain a look as he's about to. I smile in encouragement as Xaden signs an “hello”, which is about as far as we’ve gotten in our lessons, since he keeps insisting on only learning words that will definitely not be useful tonight. “Have you ordered yet?”
“No, not yet,” Dain answers, amusement in his eyes. Either they’ve moved on from their previous conversation about condoms dropping from air, or they deem other things more interesting, because Xaden is definitely the new topic of conversation. Cam and Jes want to know more about him so they ask all sorts of questions, and even though Xaden has never been the best at meeting new people and opening up, he’s trying. He’s even asking questions himself. But his fingers dig into my skin from time to time, and I know he’s tense, and I do my best to steer away from topics I know might be easy for others but not for him.
Food is ordered and brought in, more drinks as well, and about an hour after Xaden showed up I’m starting to get anxious to just get home and to be alone with him for a bit. Brennan is home, and Dain will be on the couch, so someone will always be close - but god, I just want to get into bed with him and rest my head on his chest, his strong arms wrapped around me.
That can’t be too much to ask for, but apparently the universe disagrees because Dain curses beside me just after our plates are cleared from the table. “Speaking of pathetic moves to try to scare off the enemy. Cam, what’s your shit brother doing here?”
Could be either one, but I know which one he refers to and I refuse to give him the satisfaction of looking up at him. Cam does however, twisting in his seat to look around the room. “He brought a fucking date? Here? This is the least romantic place in Baltimore.”
They didn’t bother to sign, but Jesinia read enough on Dain’s lips to understand what’s going on. “Did he know we’ll be here?”
“Not that fucking hard to guess,” Cam mutters, now signing as well. He looks at me with apologetic eyes and winces. “Sorry, Vi.”
“It’s fine,” I tell him, and it’s the truth. I have Xaden, and even if I didn’t, I’m over the pain he caused me with the cheating. I’ve spent too much time in therapy talking about him the last couple of months. Still, I search out Xaden’s leg, automatically comforted at the feel of his thigh underneath my palm. He moves his hand from my knee to his lap, grabbing my hand and twisting our fingers together, and I can feel his eyes on me.
I’m not entirely sure I’ve told him that Cam is Halden’s brother, and I’ve never shown a picture of him, so he’s probably unaware of exactly what’s going on. Until Halden breaks free from his date and comes up to our booth. Because of-fucking-course he does.
“What the fuck are you even doing here?” Cam asks right away and Halden plasters that grin he’s so famous for onto his face, ruffling his brother’s hair. But he doesn’t look at his brother, his eyes instead on Dain and me, glancing between us.
“Dain, Vi - nice to see you’re still emotionally codependent.”
I feel Xaden tense next to me.
“Nice to see you’re still an asshole, Halden,” Dain says, rolling his eyes. Xaden tenses more next to me, his fingers squeezing around mine. He shifts a bit, and I naturally shift closer to him. Halden clocks the movement, his eyes darting down to my hand in Xaden’s, his green eyes narrowing into two slits. They widen a bit as they travel up to actually look at Xaden, and from the sneer his grin turns into, he recognizes him. Probably from the rumors. God, I’m so glad Xaden has graduated and is free of all that bullshit.
“And you say I got around, Vi? You’ve been with half the people at this table already and we all know my little brother would let you-”
“Oh, fuck off Halden,” Cam interrupts him and of course, Halden’s response is to laugh. He wasn’t actually an asshole back when I got to know him, but I can’t figure out what happened to change him.
“I can’t believe you never figured out that kiss was just to make you back off,” Dain continues before Halden can say anything, “You know, since you apparently never learned what the word no means.”
“More like he’s never had anyone reject him,” Cam says, tilting his head slightly. Halden ignores both of them, putting his palms on the table and leaning down a little bit, doing his best to ignore Xaden’s looming presence as he focuses on me.
“Him, sweetheart? Really? What do you even see in him? You must have heard what he’s done.” Halden’s tone is dripping with condescension.
He actually has the fucking nerve to bring up the rumors, to ask me what I see in him? I’m about to tell him that Xaden is one of the best people I’ve ever met, and that I’m glad Halden fucked half the school because it led me to him, but Xaden gently presses his thumb into my palm. A short signal to tell me he’s got this. He knows I don’t need him to handle this, that I can do it myself, but it is about him so I’ll let him.
“Halden, right?” he asks, his voice low and a hint of amusement in his tone. But there’s something dark and possessive in it, too. Just like there's possessiveness in the way he's holding on to me. “What I've done is really none of your business. But as for what she sees in me? See, there’s this little trick I do with my fingers. Works like a charm. Every. Fucking. Time.”
Dain, signing to Jesinia to translate, chokes on something and I hear him cough to hide his laughter. He knows enough to know exactly what Xaden is referring to, but Cam and Jesinia don't have the full picture. They must think Xaden’s just bragging about being great in bed. Which, I’m not about to deny that, even though saying it is an asshole move for his part.
But it has the intended effect, Halden blanching a bit and straightening back up, eyes darting between Xaden and me. There’s a flash of insecurity in his eyes, which isn’t common, and I can imagine what’s running through his mind. The two years of him trying and failing to bring me pleasure. Even though I hid some parts of my past for him, I was always open about not being able to orgasm. For half a second I almost feel sad for him, but then I remember how he hurt me.
I’m about to ask him to leave when the insecurity turns into something different, and he laughs. It’s too empty to be real. “Glad to hear she’s still great at validating. Anyway, I better get back to my date.” He ruffles Cam’s hair again. “Don’t wait up, dipshit.”
As soon as he's gone, Cam opens his mouth to inevitably apologize but I stop him, wanting to just move on and forget about it. And for another 30 minutes or so we do, but Xaden is still tense beside me, doesn't talk as much as earlier and he's clearly in a brooding mood.
So I make the excuse that I’m tired, I tell Cam and Jes I'll see them soon, let Dain know we'll meet him back at the apartment after taking a walk, and then I let Xaden pay for both of us, not wanting to argue about it.
But as soon as we step out of the diner, I lead him down the street toward where I guess that he parked his car, and the second we're outside of earshot from others I drop his hand.
“You know he said that just this hurt me right? To make you doubt me?”
“Said what?” Xaden asks, his voice distant and brows furrowed as he reaches for my hand again. Instead of letting him take it, I fold my arms around myself. He looks at me then, stopping in the middle of the street. “That shit about you validating him? You and I both know that's bullshit. Besides, I'd know if you faked it.”
“So why were you being all broody?”
“It's nothing. Can we just go on this walk I was promised?”
“No, not until you tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Then let's just go to the car.”
His way of informing me he doesn't want to.
“Tough shit, we're talking about it. We're also talking about that little brag of yours.”
“Is it bragging if it's true?”
“Why were you being a possessive shit?”
“I wasn't,” he argues, that dark hint of something back in his tone. I watch him for a short while, trying to figure out what's actually going on here.
“You were,” I argue back after a moment of silence. “But there's something else, too.”
He lets out a sigh of frustration and starts walking, muttering about how he should have just gone to a fucking hotel.
And that's when it hits me. I have to run to catch up to him, right by his car, and when I do I grab at his arm to make him turn around and look at me.
“You're jealous? Of Halden?”
He lets out another frustrated sigh, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. I watch him, waiting for him to confirm it.
When he doesn't, I do it for him.
“That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.”
His eyes flare open at that, locking on mine. Even in the darkness around us, I can see that they're burning with emotion. “So what, it's okay for you to be jealous of someone I fucked for a bit but I can't be jealous of the guy you literally gave a piece of your fucking heart to?”
I take a step back at the accusation, at the truth in his words, and stare for a while. At how bright the jealousy - and anger - shines in his eyes. I know he's not referring to how I ended our agreement after seeing Cat flirt with him - fuck maybe he is, as well - but the time we ran into her at the beginning of summer. How one look at her and the way she looked at him made me insecure as fuck, all over again. It didn't even help that Xaden barely looked at her, that he pulled me closer into his side.
But they are insecurities I only have to begin with because of Halden.
“Isn’t that how it started for us too, just us fucking?”
“No, you don't -,” he stops himself short, pulling a hand through his hair. “It's not the fucking same. Get in the car.”
“Why?” I ask even as he unlocks it and walks around to open the passenger door for me.
“Because I'm not having this argument with you - again - in the middle of the fucking street.” I still don't move and he exhales loudly. Impatiently. “Please, love, get in the car.”
And this is why I love him. One reason of a thousand. He still calls me love and says please in the middle of arguments. Even though we've had parts of this argument before. That day, he took me home and showed me all the things he never did with her, starting with tasting me and ending with him making sweet, gentle love to me, peppering me with declarations of love.
I know it's not the same, that we have so much more than he ever did with her. On all levels. So I get in the car, but not in the passenger seat. Instead I climb into the driver's seat.
He huffs out a humorless laugh, but slides in next to me, closing the door with a bang. As soon as my door is closed as well, he starts talking again.
“Yes, I'm fucking jealous of him, Violet. You were with him for two fucking years. You were in love with him. Enough to choose Duke for him, when I know you're smart enough to have gotten into one of the Ivy’s. You could have picked anywhere. And you picked him. Over a better education. Over being closer to your brother. To Dain. How am I not supposed to be jealous?”
Not entirely sure what to say to that, I tell him to put his seatbelt on. Neither of us speaks as I drive, my body on autopilot as I go somewhere that always helps me process, the silence between us filled with tension. We're still both quiet as I park, furthest away in a parking lot, one that gives us a view of the city lights twinkling ahead of us, the dark skyline and the harbor underneath it.
“Where are we?” he asks eventually, when I've turned off the car and we've sat in silence for several minutes.
“Federal Hill,” I reply simply, quietly, looking out through the window, looking at the view this spot gives us. “I used to come here all the time. When I was sad, or overwhelmed, or just needed to be alone. This was my spot. I don't know how many hours I've spent here. Crying. Thinking. Piecing myself back together.”
The silence between us is heavy, and even though he keeps his eyes forward, he reaches across the distance between us and finds my hand, twisting our fingers together.
“You're the first person I've shared this place with.”
“Not even him?”
“Not even Dain,” I tell him, knowing full well that's not who he meant. He shifts a bit in his seat, and in the corner of my eyes I see him rest his head against the neckrest behind him, pausing before he speaks.
“I don't like being jealous. I don't want to be. But I can't fucking help it. I don't know how to not be when it comes to him, knowing your history.”
“Which is why I don't understand it. You know. He never knew the deepest, darkest parts of me. I was never comfortable and safe enough with him to share that. And Duke is one of the best schools in the world,” I tell him and he scoffs, interrupting me.
“It's not even in the top 15 in the U.S, anymore.”
I ignore that, because it's not the point. “I chose Duke for a lot of reasons. He was just one of them. And no matter how badly that ended, I will never regret it because if I hadn't gone to Duke, I wouldn't be sitting here. At my spot, with you. And… this is going to sound strange, but in a lot of ways, this spot is you. You're the one I go to when I'm happy or sad or overwhelmed or feel alone. You're who I go to when I want to be alone, because being with you is always better than that. Even when you're being a jealous, posses-”
I don't get to finish, one of his hands suddenly at the side of my face, pulling me to him as his mouth crashes against mine. It's not a gentle kiss, but I don't mind. I love the way his lips move over mine, the way he bites into my lower lip, the way his tongue flicks against the top of my mouth. The way he lays claim to me so easily.
I twist in the seat to better face him, his fingers twining into my braid and tugging slightly to angle me in order to kiss me deeper, rougher. It's hungry and clumsy and needy and I kiss him back just the same, grabbing at his neck and twisting my fingers with his hair.
My whole body is coiled tight with pleasure within seconds of the kiss, and I need him closer.
“Is your brother home?” he murmurs against my skin, tongue flicking out to lick at the side of my neck, sucking gently on that spot he knows I'm weak for. I hear myself moaning, arching my neck to give him better access.
Fuck, I don't care that we're in a car and that anyone could walk by. I just want him closer.
“Yeah,” I breathe out. “Dain too, probably.”
“I don't care about Dain,” he replies, his voice rough and filled with hunger. “But I'm not fucking you with your brother in the next room.”
I whimper when his hand reaches between us to grab at my waist, his fingers pushing in underneath my top and up to my breast, cupping it in his big palm, squeezing just hard enough to drive another moan out of me.
God, I missed his hands on me.
His mouth finds mine again, his tongue pushing inside to meet mine, and my whole body is on fire, my thighs clenching and pleasure pooling at my core, sending wave after wave of desire through me.
“I'm getting that fucking hotel,” he says against my mouth when I reach between us to pull up the hem of his t-shirt, digging my fingers into the hard muscles of his stomach. He groans in response and pinches my nipple between two of his fingers. His other hand is slowly sliding up my leg, long fingers pushing underneath my skirt. “It's been too long since I was inside you.”
At this point, I'm on the edge of insanity, filled to the brim with hunger and desperation for him. So I fumble at the button of his jeans, driving my hand inside, and at the feel of how hard he is for me I forget everything else but him.
“So get inside me. Let me show you why there's no reason for you to feel jealous.”
Too fast for me to know what's happening, his hands are digging into my waist, lifting me up from the driver's seat and into his lap. Now straddling him, his hands move from my waist to my thighs, pushing my jeans skirt up to my hips. With more room to move without the skirt around my legs, I instantly sink a little deeper into him as both my hands work to push away the fabric of his jeans and underwear. He grabs at my hands, putting them on his shoulders, before pushing my underwear to the side and grabbing his cock, guiding himself to my entrance. There's no need for teasing or toying or touching. That kiss was more than enough to have him rock hard and me soaking for him.
The next heartbeat, he drives into me, both of us moaning loudly at the stretch, the feel of him inside me. I'm at a shit angle because there's no good place for me to put my knees, and Xaden does most of the work, his hands on my hips, pushing me down into him as he meets me with a thrust up. His hands guide me up enough for him to almost pull out completely, the head of his cock teasing at my entrance, before pushing me down harder and deeper than last time.
“Do you have any idea of how many times I've thought about this in the last ten days?”
“Fucking me in a car?” I moan out, my back arching as he fills me up so much I feel him everywhere.
“No, smartass,” he growls out, an edge of laughter in his voice. He groans with his next thrust, grabbing my face to pull it down to his, our foreheads touching. He keeps me there, his next couple of thrusts harder and faster than the previous, his eyes locked with mine. “Fucking you anywhere. Everywhere. I've dreamt about fucking you. About tasting you, about having my cock in your mouth. Hearing you scream my name. I've woken up so damn hard I've been to the point of pain, and I couldn't do a Damn. Fucking. Thing. About. It.”
Each of the last five words are accompanied by a hard thrust, and knowing he dreamt of me, knowing he woke up every morning hard for me, pushes me closer to the edge and I clamp around him, moaning loudly against his face.
“Fuck,” he curses and the next second he groans, stilling inside me as I feel his cock twitch as he spills into me with his release. He screws his eyes shut, resting his head against the seat. “That wasn't supposed to happen.”
“I think it was,” I laugh softly and he shakes his head as I move to slide off of him, more than satisfied with his release. I can have mine later.
“Not yet,” he argues, holding me steady. “I'm not done with you.”
Still inside me, he holds me firmly in place with one hand, the other moving between us, his thumb finding my clit. I'm so close to the edge already, the first touch from him has me plummeting, waves of pleasure rolling over me. He doesn't stop, adding some pressure to his touch as I shiver through my aftershocks.
But he's not done then either, thumb still circling me as he kisses me again, softer this time. But still hungry, still needy. His free hand pushes my shirt up enough to reveal one of my breasts, pushing aside my bra and leaning down to gently bite at my nipple, licking at it before sucking it into his mouth.
I whimper in his lap, my breathing jagged as pleasure builds more and more inside me again, looking for an outlet. It doesn't take long until I orgasm a second time, and he growls into me when I rock my hips and arch my back, trying to get impossibly closer to his touch.
Still, he doesn't stop and when I feel him grow harder inside me again, I know this is what he meant. It wasn't just about getting me off, it was about not being done fucking me. I roll my hips in his lap at a slow pace, not sure how much of this I can take, so swollen and sensitive every small movement from him, from me, makes me want to cry out.
With nowhere to go, and him fully hard inside me, I begin riding him in earnest again, his hands guiding my hips through each thrust between us. He sets a rhythm that's so slow I'm sure I'll die from it, so overwhelmed by him it feels like I might explode any second.
After a few minutes of this, of a pace that is pure torture, I whimper into his mouth and I can feel him smiling.
“I’m going to fuck you until you forget everyone else,” he breathes out, his voice strained, and I'm not sure how he can form words, let alone think right now. I know I can't. “Until there's only one single thought in that brilliant fucking mind of yours.”
He pushes me deeper onto him, and he fills me so completely, so wholly, there's nothing I can do but moan at how great he feels.
I know his words are coming out of jealousy, but when he feels this good I can't find it in me to care. I don't want to care. I just want this to somehow last forever.
“When I'm done with you, the only thing running in your head is going to be my name. I want you screaming it when you come around my cock.”
He moves his hand between us again, and I jolt as his thumb gently rests against my clit. No pressure, no circling, just sitting there, gently brushing against me. It's more than I can take and he grins into my mouth.
He knows how fucking close I am, knows what I need to get there.
“Say it.”
But all I can do is cry out a whimper as I dig my fingers into his shoulders, trying to push myself into his touch, chasing more of it, chasing my release again.
“My name, Violet. Use your words.”
I try to get it out as I open my mouth, but his thumb flicks against my clit and all I manage is another loud moan. I shouldn't be this loud when we're in public, but god, I don't care.
“Words.” It's a growl this time, and he stills inside me, giving me a short moment to collect myself. When he moves again, it's with a thrust so deep his name leaves my lips on its own free will. He smiles wider and puts pressure behind his thumb, now circling my clit. Every cell, every nerve ending, in my body is screaming. “Good. Again.”
“Xaden,” I cry out as he gives me exactly what I need. God, he feels so fucking good. I say his name over and over again, unable to think about anything but him and the way he feels. His name turns more and more into a moan until it's nothing but a loud, long cry of pleasure, my entire body trembling in his lap before I collapse on top of him, unable to move.
He kisses me, nipping at my lip as he pulls his hand away from between us, his long fingers circling around my wrist to put it above me, pushing my palm against the roof of the car.
“You're so fucking perfect, now watch your head.”
That's all the warning I get before both hands are on my hips again, holding me steady as he fucks up into me with quick, deep thrusts. Despite holding me in place, I'm dangerously close to hitting my head and I push my palm into the roof as an extra barrier between us all.
He thrusts one, two, three more times, no consistent pace or rhythm or control behind his movements, until his fingers dig into my skin and my own name leaves his lips as he shudders and comes to a stop, his head falling into the crook of my neck and his breathing coming in fast and shallow as he spills into me a second time.
After, we sit there for a long time, just catching our breaths, his arms holding me close as I rest against him.
“I'm sorry,” he says after a moment of silence, our breaths back to normal and his hand playing with the ends of my braid. “For being a jealous ass and causing a… not fight, but disagreement.”
“It's okay, you were right. You're allowed your feelings, just as long as you know I'm not going anywhere. You're mine.”
He hums, the sound content. “You're mine.” He gently cups my face, pulling me away from him. A soft, lingering kiss on my lips and then, “Come on, let's take you home.”
Still in his lap, he reaches around us, fishing out tissues from somewhere. He attempts to clean us both up, but it's a bit of a lost cause and eventually he gives up, straightens out my underwear, pushes my skirt back down over my ass and then buttons his jeans again.
He ends up driving this time, my mind too mushy to trust myself behind the wheel.
I quietly lead him into the apartment, late enough for Brennan to have gone to bed after a long shift. Dain isn't back yet, apparently, but Tairn greets him with a wagging tail and a small whimper, clearly missing Sgaeyl.
I pull Xaden into a shower with me and after, I lead him to my bed, falling asleep in his arms within seconds of lying down, sleeping better that night than I have in weeks.