Chapter Text
“Dear god,” Hux gawked, eyes flickering up to stare at the man across the table. “You’ve really gone to town on that Cobb salad. What did a hunk of lettuce ever do to you?”
“Ha, ha.” Ben grumbled, stabbing his fork once more into the dish. The last pieces that had remained intact now scattered across his plate, his focus centered on the demise of his salad. “Keep it up and you’re next,”
The threat only made Hux roll his eyes as he continued to dissect his own dish into carefully constructed bites. An uncomfortable silence hung over the table as Ben continued to poke at his food, and Hux continued to ignore him.
“I suppose,” Hux sighed in resignation after a few bitter moments, “That a good friend would ask you what is wrong,”
Ben finally pulled himself away from his plate, propping an elbow up on the table to rest his chin in. Like a forlorn puppy, he practically whimpered and nodded up and down. Hux bobbed his own head in response, before turning back to focus on his food.
When Ben realized what had happened, he scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Hux managed to withhold his grin, finding too much pleasure in toying with his friend. Ben tapped his foot impatiently, mumbled obscenities under his breath, and became even more hostile with his salad in an attempt to aggravate Hux.
“Fine,” Hux exclaimed finally, setting his silverware down neatly at the proper side of each plate. “You win, you petulant child. What is it? What could possibly be so earth shattering that you feel the need to mutilate the perfectly nice meal I am treating you to?”
Ben’s mood shifted to contentment to a fraction of a second, pleased with himself for finally getting what he wanted. In the next moment, however, his smile reverted to the frown that had been plastered on his face for the majority of the night.
“Thank you for asking,” he nodded solemnly, and Hux had to restrain himself from jumping across the table to strangle him. “Also, don’t refer to this as a treat. No one likes Cobb salad. The lettuce to dressing ratio is completely out of whack, and it’s so much more of a mess than it’s really worth-”
“Ben,” Hux barked out, letting his head fall to rest in his hands. Slender fingers massaged his temples, and he forced a smile as he looked up to meet the other’s eyes once more. “Just, how about you tell me what’s really bothering you? Okay?” he said slowly, resulting in a dirty look shot in his direction.
Ben sent him a warning look, narrowing his eyes in Hux’s direction. Somehow, he refrained from letting out an impatient groan, and instead waved his hands to continue the conversation along.
“My mother’s birthday is next weekend,” Ben sighed dramatically, head crashing down to rest in his hand once more. Hux waited for elaboration that didn’t seem to come, and internally screamed when he realized he would have to play a bigger part in the conversation than he had expected.
“You talk to your mom on the phone almost every day,” Hux reminded him gently, unsure as to what the issue was so far. “Sometimes for hours. When we’re supposed to be hanging out. After you’ve asked me to clear my schedule for yo-”
“That’s beside the point,” Ben interrupted, waving his hand to dismiss Hux’s point. Again, he waited for the other to continue to no avail.
“Is it… because she’s getting old?” Hux attempted, searching Ben’s face for anything. “Because she still is very young, and due to modern medicine humans are able to live for longer periods of time than ever befo-”
“It’s not that,” Ben whined, honestly whined. Hux bit his tongue to refrain from lashing out, forcing as sweet of a smile as he could muster up at the absolute idiot that he had spent the past decade trying to understand.
“So, my darling, amazing, so overly melodramatic pal,” Hux crooned and Ben furrowed his eyebrows at the last three words, “what exactly would the problem be with your mother’s birthday? Because I am at a loss,”
Ben perked up at the surrender, and again Hux saw that flash of contentment in his eyes. At times, he wondered if Ben was only dramatic in order to get Hux to cave in. If so, it worked wonders.
“She’s having a birthday party,” Ben explained, as if that would solve every puzzle in Hux’s head and this time, the internal screams teetered on the edge of escaping. “They expect me to attend this one. It’s the big 5-0,”
All at once it clicked for Hux. This wasn’t about Ben’s mother at all, no, he loved her. This was about everyone else he would be forced to socialize with when returning home. Hux frowned, and Ben let out a sigh of relief so small it was almost missed.
“I’m sure you’re overreacting,” Hux tried, carefully, “How bad could a party really be?”
Ben scoffed and stabbed his Cobb salad once again, and Hux could have laughed at the metaphor.
-
In the decade since they became friends, Ben visited home three times. It had been five years since his last trip back to the town where he grew up, but Hux remembered it well.
Hux had been the one to receive the incessant text updates, the nightly aggravated calls from inside the bathroom, and had also been the one to deal with the outright disaster of an aftermath.
From what Hux took away from the experience, or, Ben spending over a week curled up on his couch pouting, the trip home was not a success.
There had been several different arguments with his father, Han, who essentially disowned his son the day he left for art school instead of taking over the family mechanic shop.
There were also countless run ins with his ex, Poe, who had somehow entwined himself in the web of the Solo-Organa family while Ben was away.
And finally, the looming shadow of his adopted sister, Rey, who had grown up to be exactly the child that both his mother and father always dreamed of.
“Ben,” Hux had sighed out, phone lodged carelessly between his shoulder and ear as he tapped out an e-mail to the corporate offices, “I’m sure you’re exaggerating. As always. I’ve heard how your mom talks to you, it’s sickening,”
Ben continued to ramble on the instances of turmoil he was facing, but Hux only half listened and hummed out appropriate responses when the conversation called for it. Before Ben could finish, Hux was being whisked away to yet another meeting and promising to call him later.
Later didn’t come until the afternoon Ben was due home, two days after their last call. There had been voice messages and texts, but Hux was so caught up in his work that he didn’t have the time to reply.
Hux waited impatiently in the airport, foot tapping and fingers typing away on his cell phone to stay completely updated on his career. It was a high stakes world, and Hux had every intention to rise through the ranks as quickly as possible.
When he glanced up to check the newest group of people making their way into the baggage claim, Hux hadn’t recognized him at first. Ben’s torso sagged over, reducing him what seemed like half of his regular size. He clung to the strap of his carry on bag, slung haphazardly around his shoulder, and moved slowly through the masses of people.
Hux locked his phone, shoving it into his pocket as he shoved his way through the people to make it to his best friend. His hands reached up to grip onto Ben’s shoulders, trying to ease him back to his usual looming height.
“Benny boy,” Hux teased, using the nickname that always seemed to get a rise out of the other. Ben didn’t flinch, just staggered along to the carousel where his luggage would be retrieved.
Hux frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together and true concern splashing across his face. Gently, he placed his hands on his friend’s shoulders again and led him from the bustle of the crowd to an empty bench.
“I’m going to get your bag. You stay here,” he commanded, running over his words in his head as he attempted to find compassion within himself. “I’ll take care of everything,” he promised, his voice soft as he took Ben’s face into his hands and smoothed a thumb over the ridge of his cheekbone.
Hux had never been one to back out of a promise. He felt himself fill with worry as he looked at the sorry state of Ben, making a handful of lists in his head on how to take away the nearly tangible pain he was witnessing.
Ben came home with him that night, as Hux was almost too afraid to leave him alone. The guilt ate his chest whole, reminding him constantly that Ben had reached out to him for help and he turned a blind eye.
Ben, who had always been a bit theatrical, made up for his difficulties in spades of overflowing loyalty to Hux. And yet, for this one occasion he had been unable to do the same.
So, Hux attempted to make it up to him. He fussed over Ben like he was a child, cooking him his favorite meals and popping in his favorite movies. Hux may have hated tacos and romantic comedies, but he’d have done anything to see Ben smile.
It was the most vulnerable Ben had ever been with him. The long winded complaints and temper tantrums paled in comparison to the nights when he returned from his visit home.
Ben sat silently, pressed up rigidly to the opposite end of the couch with his eyes glazed over. Hux talked out loud, trying to get anything he could from Ben. At last, he couldn’t stand the one sidedness anymore.
Hux turned, stretched out his arms like he had done at the airport and fastened them securely around Ben’s shoulders. For a second the two just stared at each other, unsure of what to do next.
Neither was exactly prone to physical affection, especially with each other, yet here they were. Hux made up his mind, and moved in to wrap his arms tighter around Ben and give him a proper hug.
Ben let out a tiny gasp of surprise, his own arms coming up soon after to envelope Hux in an embrace. The angle was no less than awkward, and Hux quickly felt his legs falling asleep due to sitting on his heels, but he would not move until Ben pulled back.
“I didn’t realize how much they love her more than me,” Ben choked out, burying his face in Hux’s shoulder. “It was like I couldn’t breathe without disappointing my dad. I thought time away would heal some of the animosity but-”
Ben’s voice cut out, and Hux frowned. A look of anger flashed across his face, but he softened when he felt Ben nuzzle against him. Hux tentatively brought one hand up to rub soothing circles on the other’s back as some symbol of support.
Ben pulled away after a moment, hair somehow messier than before. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept the entire week he was away, and Hux made a mental note to make him a cup of chamomile tea before bed.
“Thanks,” Ben coughed, voice gruff. Hux nodded slowly, unsure of what to do next.
“Do you,” he swallowed thickly, waving his hands around anxiously, “want to, uh, talk about it? Or something?” Hux offered.
Ben smiled at him, and Hux’s chest deflated with relief. It wasn’t the usual shit-eating grin his best friend possessed, especially when they were together, but it was a start.
“Or something,” Ben joked weakly, settling back into his spot on the couch. His eyes flickered to the television with a knowing look. “So, admit it. This ‘romantic comedy bullshit’ is interesting,” he challenged.
“Oh please,” Hux snorted, arms crossing over his chest as he turned to face the television. “These people all have feelings for their best friend that takes them years and some stupid adventure to realize. It’s a load of shit,”
-
“Maybe,” Ben said, whirling around in the chair at Hux’s desk, “I just won’t go,”
“Don’t spin in that,” Hux snapped, eyes still glued to the spreadsheets in front of him as he scanned the logistics. In the five years since Ben’s last visit home, he had indeed moved up through the ranks at an alarming speed.
Thanks to Hux’s work ethic, fierce determination, and intimidation factor, he was now holding an executive position at an extremely lucrative publishing company. However, it wasn’t the best position he could have, and Hux wasn’t quick to settle.
“I’m not spinning,” Ben said, as he continued to spin.
“Remind me again, why exactly you are here,” Hux asked, voice polite but edging on hostile. Before Ben could answer, he threw the pen in his hand directly at him.
Hux smiled triumphantly at his aim while Ben howled about the pen whacking him right in the shoulder. He reminded Hux that he needed this shoulder to paint, and Hux only rolled his eyes in return.
“Now, back to your question,” Ben sighed, tossing the pen back to Hux who caught it without looking up from the table, “I am here because I am a good friend, and good friends don’t let their other friends work themselves to death,”
“Is that what good friends do,” Hux tried to hide his amused smile by picking up a folder.
“It’s what good friends don’t do, Hux,” Ben sighed, “Try to be a better listener,”
“Better listener, right,” Hux affirmed, “That’s the thing that good friends do, right?”
“Exactly,” Ben confirmed, sounding almost pleased until he realized that Hux was teasing him. That was the last straw, and he pushed himself up out of the chair immediately.
The speed in which he did this was quickly determined to be a horrible idea, as Ben had spent the past five minutes spinning as fast as possible in Hux’s chair. He tottered to one side, and then the other, and Hux looked up from his work just waiting for him to fall over.
“Big bad Ben, coming at me like a toddler,” he smirked, clicking his pen to draw out one final signature before he began to pack up his work.
Hux stood up, tucking his perfectly organized accordion folder into his bag. Ben regained his balance, holding a hand up to his head by some hope of easing the dizziness.
“Keep bitching, and I’ll choose Panda’s Pizza Party,” Ben threatened, and Hux’s face went white.
“You would not dare,” he started very calmly, “choose that cesspool of children’s vomit and artificial cheese to eat our sacred weekly meal,”
“Sacred,” Ben laughed, jabbing the elevator button as Hux fixed the shoulder strap of his bag. “Hux, we eat dinner together at least four times a week,” Ben pointed out.
“Thursdays are different,” Hux spoke quietly, watching the numbers increase to show the elevator was getting closer and closer. “We’ve had dinner together every Thursday, save three exceptions, since college,”
The doors opened, and the two crossed the threshold into the elevator. Ben pressed the button for the lobby without having to look, and Hux tried not to think about just how much time he had spent at the offices with him.
“It always surprises me when you’re sentimental,” Ben teased light heartedly, and Hux faked a laugh as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I won’t choose Panda’s Pizza Party,”
“Good,” Hux snapped, “Because if you think I’m bitching too much now, you have no idea just how much I can complai-”
“Oh, I know how much you can complain. You really are such a little bitch,” Ben interrupted, and Hux scowled at him in return. “So back to the party-”
“What party?” Hux asked, confusion flashing across his face. They walked out of the elevator together, and Ben threw his hands into the air.
“Of course you weren’t listening,” Ben scoffed, and Hux internally cursed himself for saying anything at all instead of letting him continue on with his thought.
“I was too I just, oh,” Hux’s eyes lit up and he turned to Ben excitedly. “The family party!” he exclaimed, prideful in himself for realizing. Ben shot him a vacant look and continued walking.
“What sleuthing skills,” he commented dryly, “I see that weekend of blowing me off to ready Sherlock Holmes stories didn’t go to waste,” he noted and Hux took on a look of personal offense.
“Those stories,” he argued back, fiery as ever, “are literary classics, Ben!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ben grumbled, his mood having clearly shifted from the topic. Hux felt both irritated and sympathetic, a combination he didn’t know existed until he met Ben.
They walked in silence through the parking garage until they reached Hux’s car. It was a black sports car, something completely ridiculous to have in the city due to the cost of parking and amount of traffic, but Hux enjoyed driving on his own terms, as well as showing off exactly how much money he had to blow.
Ben piled into the passenger seat, the aggravation that came with sticking his overly large limbs into the small car being worth more than the luxury for him. Hux, on the other hand, had learned to gracefully tuck himself away into the car.
They didn’t speak for the ride, save Ben grumbling his restaurant choice, and Hux found the silence comfortable. With Ben, there wasn’t a constant need for conversation. They were often content in doing their own thing while together.
It felt different as the ride wore on, however, and Hux began to worry. He knew just how poorly the last trip home had been, and he also knew that it wasn’t bound to go much better this time around.
“You have to go,” Hux spoke finally, his voice barely audible over the hum of the car. Ben didn’t flinch, just kept his eyes on the road.
“Bit hard to go anywhere when the car is moving-” he bickered, but Hux cut him off with an indignant sigh.
“To the party, you absolute imbecile,” Hux fired back, and Ben barked out a laugh.
“You’re the imbecile for thinking I would send myself on that suicide mission,” he grimaced, his stance unmoving for the moment.
Hux didn’t have an argument after that. He knew that his encouragement meant nothing, he had never met the rest of Ben’s family. His opinion on the subject meant nothing, especially to Ben who already had such a solidified outlook.
-
“Ben, we’ve been friends for, what, nine years?” Hux asked, setting his glass of wine onto the end table. It was custom after Thursday night dinner to return to Hux’s apartment for a few drinks, and tonight was no exception.
“Excuse me,” Ben scoffed, shooting Hux a look from where he was hanging upside down on an arm chair. “It will be ten years next Thursday,”
“Ten years,” Hux corrected himself, his arm already reaching out to draw his drink back to his lips.
“A real friend would know that,” Ben said indignantly.
“Yeah, well, I am the worst,” Hux retorted with a click of his tongue.
Ben pulled himself up to sit properly in the chair again, reaching for his beer and taking a long swig. Hux watched him half in fascination and half in disgust. The only thing any alcohol besides red wine was kept in his apartment was for Ben.
“So,” Ben hiccuped, setting his bottle down onto a coaster. Hux reveled in the fact that he didn’t need to be reminded, and felt his chest lurch with something he could have sworn was fondness, though he was quick to dismiss it as heartburn.
“So,” Hux spoke slowly, eyebrows quirked.
“Why the sudden interest in how long we’ve been friends?” Ben asked curiously. Hux felt his cheeks heat up slightly, a curse of his red headed genetics mixed with the alcohol, and shook his head.
“It’s not sudden,” he grumbled and Ben waved his stubbornness off with a flick of his wrist. “I was just thinking that friends of ten years-”
“Best friends of ten years,” Ben corrected with a smile. Hux shot him a look that would send anyone else running, but only made Ben laugh.
“Best friends of ten years don’t interrupt each other,” he warned and though Ben’s mouth opened with another retort Hux rushed in his next point all too quickly for him to butt in, “and, best friends of ten years usually have met each other’s families,”
Ben’s wide mouthed grin broke, snapping into a firm line of pressed lips. Hux swallowed slowly, circling his wine glass with his finger as he awaited a response.
“I haven’t met your family,” he countered, and oh, there was that recognizable look in his eyes that Hux knew meant a battle to the end of their wits. Unless he could out strategize, outmaneuver, then he may have a shot at a clean victory.
“I have a family reunion this summer,” Hux said with a look of utter confidence, “that I would love for you to attend with me,”
“Lovely,” Ben spoke through gritted teeth. “I was thinking of inviting my mother up to the city sometime next fall,”
“Ben,” Hux set down his glass to stare at him intently, and Ben mimicked the movement.
“Hux,” he challenged right back, stance unbreakable but Hux could see the weakness behind his eyes.
“You need to go home,” Hux spoke, voice commanding at this point.
“Then I’ll call a cab,” Ben sneered, and Hux pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Now is not the time to be difficult,” he murmured.
“Oh, well isn’t that rich coming from you,” Ben slumped back into his chair, and Hux took a deep breath as he watched his opponent slowly giving in.
“It’s not going to be nearly as bad as you’re making it out to be-” Hux started, but before he could finish Ben lurched forward in his seat.
“I’ll be alone, Hux. Just like last time, I’ll be the odd one out and sit there wishing for the week to be over so that I don’t have to sit under the scrutiny of a family that doesn’t seem to want nor need me anymore,” he exploded, burying his face in his hands when he finished as if to hide himself away.
“You won’t be alone,” Hux frowned, his voice soft and sad as he awkwardly watched his best friend.
“Listen, it’s a nice sentiment and I appreciate you for trying to unite me with my family, but I really can’t-” Ben rambled, and Hux reached out to place a hand firmly on his back.
“You won’t be alone,” he repeated, more forcefully this time. Ben looked up from his hands, confused at the argument, or lackthereof.
“I don’t… I don’t understand what you mean,” he admitted, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion and Hux just sighed as he squeezed his best friend’s shoulder.
“You won’t be alone,” Hux explained carefully, “because I am going to be there with you,”
Ben’s eyebrows shot up in a mixture of surprise and confusion, he pulled back to look at Hux for some sign of a joke. There was only fierce commitment in his eyes, a look so serious that Ben had to glance down at his feet.
“It’s a five day trip, you’d be missing work and it’s not like it’s really a vacation by any means. Plus, you wouldn’t know anyone and you’d have to be in a ton of uncomfortable situations,” Ben babbled on, watching Hux to see what condition would send him reeling from his offer.
“Ben,” Hux spoke calmly, “You are my best friend. There is nothing in the world that I would not do for you. I am going to stick by your side the entire time. There is nothing you could say to me that would change my mind,”
Ben’s eyes widened with something Hux couldn’t quite recognize, and he surged forward to pull him into a hug. Hux felt the wind rush from his body at Ben’s tight grip, and he did his best to reciprocate the action.
“Besides,” he coughed, attempting to even out his breathing after the encounter, “I’ll be fucked if I miss this banger of a party,”
-