Work Text:
Marcia
brooo ur boyfriend hates me 😭
Jamie
stop calling him that
but yeah probably lol
Marcia
ur terrible at comforting people u know that?
Jamie
thats the fucking truth
what did you expect though
youre literally dating one of his bullies
Marcia
yeah but ur way meaner than michael and he got over that
Jamie
yeah cause i saved his ass lmao
plus hes got a pretty thick skin for insults and shit
its the like actually hitting him that hes not a fan of
Marcia
okay but i didnt even do that though!
this is guilt by association :(
Jamie
lmao
tbf hes still getting used to shit
and idk if he even likes most normal people
he said he and his lab partner basically never spoke
Marcia
am i not normal now
Jamie
u gave me a signed and framed headshot of yourself for my birthday last year
Marcia
oh yeah i did do that didnt i
im so fucking funny
but yeah i guess whats her name said he basically shut her out of doing any work lol
Jamie
dude what
he said she was like a mooch or something lol
see this is why you can't take it personal he thinks everyone's out to get him
Marcia
huh
you sure he doesnt just think hes better than me because he was kind of acting like it
Jamie
you of all people gonna hold that against someone?
Marcia
meeeean! :(
Jamie
;)
Marcia
whys he so fucked up about the whole thing tho?
like i didnt even recognize him when you brought him to lunch
it couldnt have been that bad
Jamie
idk maybe he was being targeted by an insane dude with some kind of pathological murdercrush obsession with him
Marcia
oh shit
goddamn it
no come on he has to have some kind of like secret traumatic backstory you cant just be right about this
thats gonna make me look so stupid
Jamie
holy shit
youre not just blowing me off youre like actually thinking about it
this is the best day of my fucking life
Marcia
maybe you were lying about being openly bisexual to trick me into thinking im blind enough to not notice my boyfriends bff is a gay serial killer
Jamie
why does everyone think im some kind of mastermind today lmao
but seriously marsh you better not be leading me on here i am so serious
if youre gonna back out on me like dustin did the gay serial killer will be me
sorry that was more threatening than i meant you wouldnt actually be one of the people i killed to be clear
just like some nameless civilian type murders
to cope
Marcia
LMAAO
okay well to avoid getting your hopes up im not 100% on board or anything i just like see the possibility space more than i did
i mean maybe its all like a big misunderstanding or something
wait wait wait i totally glossed over the dustin thing what do you mean about that??
Jamie
shit
forget about the dustin thing i didnt mean to say that
not my shit to sharea
anyways thats an insanely frustrating take but its the closest ive gotten in forever so ill take it
Marcia
jamiiieeee you cant just imply dustin had a different opinion on something than tyler and expect me to move on
isnt my curiousity more important than dustins privacy?
ive never threatened to block you even once
Jamie
im not joking marcia drop it
Marcia
ok fine tell me a different secret then
Jamie
LMAO
okay sure why not
like about me or can i just breach someone elses trust lol
Marcia
hmmm
what about your not boyfriend
has your insatiable charm managed to pry any blood from that stone yet?
Jamie
oh shit i actually do have like a really juicy one that will help my argument a lot
but its like really fucked up so for real dont tell him i told you and dont tell it to anyone else either
like i promised Alex id protect him from shit
dont put me in a position where i gotta either break that promise or like physically fight you lol
Marcia
oh holy shit now i gotta know
i wont tell
Jamie
des has like, a pee thing
like he made alex straight up drink his piss
Marcia
what the fuck!!!!
no way
you wouldve told everyone
Jamie
im not gonna get my loser fucking killed over something no one would believe me about anyways
thats like the opposite of my job
Marcia
shit dude
are you like100% sure hes telling the truth though?
Jamie
of fucking course
Marcia
is that an answer or just a reaction
Jamie
both
Marcia
look im sorry dude im just saying like
if im an anti-social weirdo and this super hot guy comes up to me like
'hey i think the guy i hate is targeting you and i wanna protect you to spite him'
and then things arent as bad as that guy thinks like
maybe i come up with a story to make him feel all strong and protective of me
Jamie
what the fuck marsh
are you fucking serious?
yeah that makes total fucking sense, the anti-social loser just immediately clocked all my blind spots to come up with the perfect plan to manipulate me
thats why he has no friends is because of how insanely socially adept he is
no i can see your little dots quit typing im not fucking done
you think i havent noticed that you cant even remember his fucking name?
and you wanna try and tell me what youd do if you were him??
fuck you marsh
Marcia
come on jamie
jamie?
im sorry ok?
Jamie
whatever
ill get over it
just like
seriously dont tell anyone okay?
Marcia
yeah of course
i promise
see you around?
Jamie
yeah.
Marcia
🩷