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Amanda carefully tugs the brush through her hair with a frown, trying to force out a stubborn knot. It’s late, the sun already set outside, and the orange light in Angela’s small bathroom is making her sleepy. She just needs to finish with her hair and she can join Angela in bed.
The other woman showered first, her short hair easy to maintain. Angela is already under the covers, tucked into bed with her water bottle and TikToks. Dateline is paused on her laptop, Spork is in his bed on the floor, and soft giggles float into the bathroom periodically. It’s comforting, but it only makes Amanda’s annoyance with this tangle even stronger.
It’s a Friday night, so there’s a new episode of Dateline to watch. Any other weekend night and she’d be at a bar or club with Angela and their friends, but the weather is miserable right now. Everyone has been chased inside by a storm. Amanda doesn’t mind too much. It’s another excuse to spend time with her best friend.
She loves their sleepovers. Sometimes they’re at Amanda’s apartment and sometimes at Angela’s, but either way, the routine is the same. They cook dinner together or order something from one of their favorite places. She has Angela’s address saved in all her delivery apps, and she knows Angela has hers saved, too. They always get Spork a side of rice.
Amanda shakes the brush free with a curse and tries again. Her hair is wet, but it curls just enough to tangle. With a heavy sigh, she starts pulling as much hair from the knot as she can.
Their sleepovers are the highlight of her week. It’s a little bit of intimacy in their loud, crazy world, and Amanda loves the way Angela gets soft and quiet when they’re alone. When it’s just the two of them, it’s easier to breathe and think and exist. It’s peaceful.
Sometimes, Amanda gets to Angela’s apartment before she does. She uses her key to get in, feed Spork, start dinner, and Angela arrives after one rehearsal or another. Sometimes, Amanda has a show or an event or a workshop, and she comes home to find Angela already asleep in bed, dinner in the microwave waiting for her.
It’s nice, and it’s easy, and Amanda sometimes wishes she didn’t crave more. She wants to be able to hold Angela’s hand, kiss her forehead, hold her close. It would be different than it is now. It wouldn’t feel like she was pretending. She always feels like she’s playing pretend, playing house, playing straight.
“Hey.” Angela’s head appears in the mirror, popping into the doorframe. “You alright? I can hear you cursing in here.”
Amanda rolls her eyes, smiling at the reflection of her best friend. “What if I go back to the bob?”
Her joke makes Angela laugh. The sound is one of Amanda’s favorites. It makes her heart flutter every time Angela laughs at a stupid joke, eyes squinting and head tilting. Right now, wearing a faded Amherst t-shirt that Amanda lent her months ago, with her hair wet and her legs bare, she looks carefree and beautiful. Amanda has to drop her eyes to avoid her shine.
“You’d hate that,” Angela gasps, walking into the room and sitting on the toilet. Her wet hair glows in the dim lighting. “Berries and Cream? Farquaad? Come on.”
“That bad, huh?”
“ I liked it, but you complained until it was long enough for a ponytail.”
“Fair enough.”
Amanda tries again to brush through the knot. Her hair is starting to dampen the back of her tanktop, and she really is considering just cutting it out. “You’re going to have to convince me to keep it, though. This knot is kicking my ass.”
“Move over,” Angela chuckles, lightly kicking at Amanda’s legs until the taller woman moves aside. “I’m pretty sure I have detangler in here somewhere.”
Amanda wrinkles her nose. “How old is that? You haven’t had long hair in forever.”
With a playful glare over her shoulder, Angela replies, “Fuck off. Like you didn’t use those super expired nose strips when we visited my mom last month.”
The reminder makes them both laugh, and Amanda drops the pretense of being disgusted. Half the fun of sleepovers with girls is using random shit from the back of their cabinets and closets. As she sits on the edge of the tub, her knees high from the too low rim, she tries to ignore the warmth in her chest at the reminder that Deb’s house is always open to her and that she was thoroughly part of Angela’s family now.
She doesn’t mind that the warmth hurts a little bit. Amanda wants Angela in her life, no matter what. Being friends isn’t a consolation prize. As long as Angela is talking to her, as long as they can spend time together, then Amanda is happy.
Amanda has always had girl friends and three sisters and sleepovers and roommates. She’s used to intense friendships with women. It’s never been anything other than friendship.
As she watches Angela spill a container of cotton balls onto the floor, Amanda wonders if that’s true. She’s played spin the bottle at an only-girl sleepover. She’s blushed in locker rooms and changing rooms and dressing rooms. Anytime she helps a best friend get ready for a date with a new guy, her heart hurts just a little. She’s always thought it was the fear of losing her friend. Maybe it was. Maybe it was more.
“Okay!” Angela cheers triumphantly, falling onto her ass on the floor and holding up a brightly-colored spray bottle. “It’s…” She checks the expiration date and rolls her eyes. “It’s from last summer. Whatever. It’s fine. You have great hair. You’ll survive.”
“You know what? You’re right.” Holding a hand out, she wiggles her fingers for the bottle. “Gimmie. I’ll be done in a sec.”
Angela just shakes her head and grins, a familiar playful glint in her eyes that makes Amanda’s heart thump. “You had your chance. I’ll get it for you.”
“Angela…”
“Amanda…” She climbs to her feet and brushes off her shorts with her free hand. “It’ll take two seconds.”
Amanda sighs dramatically, but she pushes her hair over her shoulders as Angela climbs into the bathtub behind her. She hands the brush over with a small smile and then, Angela is standing a little too close in the cramped tub, her knees bumping into Amanda’s back.
“I’ll try not to hurt you.”
The soft murmur of Angela’s promise makes Amanda’s body relax. She’s not sure when she got tense, but Angela’s warmth melts her easily, and she finds herself leaning back. The bathroom is still warm from her shower, and the smell of Angela’s shampoo and moisturizer is making Amanda dizzy. Her eyes droop as she loses her focus. Then, the clink of the metal detangler bottle on the porcelain of the tub makes her jump.
“Sorry,” she laughs, flicking her hair from her face. “Just didn’t expect that.”
“It was loud,” Angela agrees. She takes the tangled end of Amanda’s hair in careful fingers. “Okay, I’ll be quick.”
Amanda isn’t sure how long it actually takes. She loses focus when Angela’s fingers scratch at her scalp, when the smell of argan oil fills the air, when the soft sighs of their breathing are the only sounds. After a while, she hears Angela humming as she brushes Amanda’s slowly drying hair.
These are the moments that make Amanda want more, that make her think about saying something, that make her wish she was a little braver. If she were courageous, she would thank Angela for the favor with a kiss, pull her into bed, and watch Dateline with a hand on her skin. She would feel full.
“Alright,” Angela breathes with a final stroke, making Amanda realize the tangle is gone. “You’re good to go.”
“Thank you.”
Amanda stands on unsteady legs and moves to the mirror. Her hair is starting to curl, but the tangle is gone, and she’s ready for bed. The detangler and brush come into view as Angela puts them on the countertop and smiles into the mirror.
“Need anything else?”
You.
“That’s it.” Amanda flashes her a smile before turning around. “Bedtime?”
With a nod, Angela takes her hand and leads her back into the bedroom. The overhead light is off, leaving only a lamp to illuminate the room. Amanda would think it’s romantic if she didn’t know better. She does, though, and so she drops her eyes and focuses on her feet.
They separate when they reach the bed, Angela taking the right side and Amanda on the left. They chose sides naturally, their first sleepover spontaneous, and never looked back. Amanda doesn’t mind. She finds a sort of irony in the fact that Angela is always right.
Settling, they pull the covers over themselves and move in close. Amanda shifts downward until she can rest her head on Angela’s shoulder, tucking herself easily into the other woman’s side. Her t-shirt rides up, but she ignores it. Besides, the cool air on her skin is a welcome break from the warmth of Angela beside her. For her part, Angela just sets her water bottle at her side and starts the episode.
It’s a good episode, just like all the others, but they don’t talk. The rain outside nudges them toward exhaustion. Amanda doesn’t realize just how much until Angela’s leaning forward to close her laptop and the movement makes her stir.
“Shh,” Angela says softly, quickly setting the computer on the floor and getting comfortable again. Their feet touch as they scoot together. “Right to sleep?” she murmurs as she moves a little closer. In the dark, without her glasses, she has to stay close to see Amanda’s face.
Amanda nods, a gentle smile crossing her lips. “Thanks for always hanging out with me,” she sighs. “I like our sleepovers.”
“I hope so,” Angela giggles. Their knees bump beneath the covers. “We have them all the time.”
Humming, Amanda can’t think of an answer. The only thoughts in her head are ones that would get her in trouble. So, she closes her eyes, settles in closer, takes slow even breaths. It’s warm, safe, and soft in Angela’s bed. She feels the other woman’s hand brush her cheek and imagines it’s a goodnight kiss.
“I wish we could do this forever.”
The comment doesn’t register at first, but after a moment, Amanda’s eyes flutter open. She finds Angela looking back at her with shock, like she can’t believe the words came from her. It’s familiar, and it makes Amanda smile.
“You’d get sick of me,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes fondly, “and what would your other friends think?”
“I shouldn’t have said that.” Angela’s hand shoots to her mouth, and she nibbles on her thumbnail. A familiar nervous habit. “Pretend I didn’t say that,” she mumbles.
Amanda gently tugs Angela’s hand from her mouth. “Stop that. You’ll make yourself bleed again.” She threads their fingers together, tucking their hands against her chest. “Don’t take it back. It’s alright.”
Eyes closing, Angela shakes her head, practically vibrating with nerves. “I’m taking it back. Get out.”
A giggle escapes her, and Amanda echoes the sound. They’re best friends. Above all else, they’re best friends. It’s just Amanda and Angela. And Spork, snoring from the floor. After a moment, Amanda moves closer.
“You said you want to do this forever? Do what? Have sleepovers?”
Angela nods quickly, her eyes still closed. “That’s a crazy thing to say, though, right? I sound like a serial killer.”
“A cute serial killer,” Amanda tries with a chuckle. “A tiny, little, short, weird-”
“Alright. I get it.”
“Do you?”
Cracking an eye open, Angela looks over Amanda’s face, taking in her soft smile and her closeness. “Yeah. I do.”
“Then…” Amanda moves a little closer again, and she can feel the warmth radiating from the other woman. She squeezes Angela’s hands lightly. “Wanna do this forever?”
“As… friends?”
Rolling her eyes, Amanda kicks Angela, earning herself a squeal. “No! Idiot! Not as friends.”
Angela twists awkwardly, pulling a hand from Amanda’s grasp to rub her shin. “That actually hurt!” She’s blushing, though, and pointedly avoiding Amanda’s gaze. “And what do you mean ‘not as friends?’ What does that- What do you mean?”
“I mean as-” Amanda cuts herself off. She knows what she means (and what she wants), but she’s nervous to push Angela too far. “I mean as… You know… More than friends.”
“As…” Lips pursing, Angela takes her other hand from Amanda now, curling into a ball under the covers. Only her eyes are visible now, wide and contemplative. “Is this some weird gay girl joke? Are you making fun of me?”
Amanda frowns, a little bit offended at the question. “What? No. Why would I do that? Ang…” She scoots down the bed until she’s eye level with Angela. Her feet are dangling off the end, but she can’t bring herself to care. “I’m a gay girl, too.”
Eyes widening, Angela uncurls, instinctually trying to get closer to see if Amanda is lying. “You are? Since when? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Since always!” Rolling her eyes, Amanda pulls the covers over her head, suddenly becoming the embarrassed one. “I’m saying something now.”
“What-” The covers disappear abruptly as Angela throws them off. They slide most of the way off the bed as the smaller woman shifts onto her knees to stare down at her best friend. “Amanda. What the hell? We could have been making out all this time?”
The question breaks Amanda free of her hesitation, so straight-forward that she can’t mistake it for anything else. She crashes their lips together and has to grab Angela to keep her upright. For a second, it’s just her, pressing her mouth against her best friend’s, and then Angela groans. Her hands clutch Amanda’s face, holding her close as they kiss.
It’s dizzying to finally get what she wants, to be holding her dreams in her arms. Her tongue pushes between Angela’s lips, deepening the kiss, and they both moan. Late one Friday night, as the rain outside turns everything to white noise, Amanda and Angela kiss.
It doesn’t take long for their hands to start to wander. Amanda’s fingers gather up Angela’s shirt to reveal smooth, soft skin. She sneaks her hands under the fabric, grips Angela’s waist, tugs her even closer.
Small hands push into Amanda’s hair, tugging lightly. Angela swallows the soft sound Amanda makes and returns it with one of her own. They push and pull and, eventually, Amanda breaks the kiss, breathless and eager.
“You, uh, You have a strap-on, right?” Her words fumble as she tries to hold onto her racing thoughts. “Is it- Can we use it?”
Angela nods, but she can’t make herself move away yet. “Yeah. Yeah. Just- Hold on.”
She kisses Amanda again, groaning as big hands hold her tight. Amanda doesn’t mind the distraction. She turns them, pushes Angela into the bed and covers her with her body. Like this, Angela feels small. She has to spread her legs wide to wrap them around Amanda. It makes Amanda groan, her hand moving higher to cover Angela’s breast.
“You’re so hot, babe,” Amanda says breathlessly, lifting her head enough to look down at the other woman. “I’m gonna rock your whole shit.”
Giggling at that, Angela rolls her eyes and tugs on Amanda’s t-shirt. “Shut up, loser. Shut up and take your shirt off.”
Amanda rolls her eyes right back, but she sits on her heels and pulls her sleep shirt over her head. When she tosses it away, it hits her that she’s nearly naked, bare for the first time in front of her best friend. Looking to Angela to see her response, she’s met with wide eyes and a soft blush.
“Wow,” Angela murmurs, shifting up onto her elbows. “You’re… unreal.”
“Oh, shut it,” she mutters, but the affection and desire in Angela’s eyes warmwarms her. “They’re just tits.”
Scrambling onto her knees, Angela reaches out like she’s going to touch, but hesitates. “They’re not just tits. They’re perfect tits.”
Amanda opens her mouth to shoot back something witty, something that would make her sound clever instead of mind-numbingly horny. She doesn’t get the chance. Suddenly, Angela’s hands are on her, brushing gently over soft skin. The reverential touch, and the stunned glance Angela shoots up at her, makes her shiver.
“I knew they were amazing, but…”
She leans forward, tongue peeking out just a little, and takes a hard nipple between her lips. Amanda moans. Her back arches into Angela’s mouth, her hand tangling in short hair. When Angela’s hand squeezes her other breast, Amanda moans again.
“You’re so stupid,” she gasps as Angela nips at her skin. “Of course you’re obsessed with boobs.”
Angela looks up at her with mischief in her eyes. Her teeth sink into the soft underside of Amanda’s breast, lips sucking harder and harder until Amanda hisses in pain. With a wet pop, Angela lets her go and surveys the damage.
“Not bad,” she laughs. She rises on her knees, pressing their chests together. “Sorry, I’ve really wanted to leave a hickey on them. Like. Really wanted.”
Amanda chuckles back, rolling her eyes again. The hand in Angela’s hair tugs gently. “Idiot. Just remember we’re on-camera talent,” she jokes, dipping her face. “I refuse to wear turtlenecks.”
They kiss again, and Amanda cups Angela’s face tenderly. She’s torn between rushing, giving in to her body and fulfilling all her pent-up desires, and taking her time, enjoying their new closeness. She wants to learn every sound Angela makes and every touch that drives her crazy, but can’t deny how damn happy she is just to have permission to touch at all.
Angela’s hands roam her body, squeezing her breasts before clutching her back. She can feel Angela’s dull nails scratching her skin, and it makes her dizzy. Clearly, Amanda isn’t the only one who wanted this.
Breaking the kiss, Amanda fists her hands in Angela’s shirt and tugs. “Alright, my turn,” she says with a snort, wrestling the t-shirt off.
They laugh together when Angela’s arms get tangled, but eventually it’s thrown aside and then Angela is bare. Amanda drags her eyes over her, taking in her small breasts and the smattering of freckles across her skin. She’s perfect.
“Holy shit..”
Amanda shoves her, grinning wolfishly when Angela’s back hits the bed and she gasps. She kisses her hungrily. Hands drifting down Angela’s side, Amanda slots easily between the smaller woman’s legs.With their shirts off, their chests press together fully. The feeling of Angela’s warm, soft body beneath her is dizzying.
Breaking the kiss, Amanda trails her lips down Angela’s neck, stopping to suck lightly at the curve of her shoulder before continuing on. She cups a small, firm breast, and sighs happily. It fits perfectly in her hand, like Angela was made just for her. Maybe she was.
Amanda lavishes attention on Angela’s breasts, memorizing each whimper and whine that slips from her. She learns that Angela is so, so sensitive. It’s so easy to make her gasp, to make her grip Amanda’s hair, to make her hips jump. Under Amanda’s eager mouth, Angela trembles, reduced to pathetic little noises and weak attempts to tug Amanda away.
Eventually, Amanda takes pity on the other woman and continues her journey downward. Angela’s stomach is quivering as Amanda presses messy, open-mouthed kisses. When Amanda sucks hard just above the waistband of Angela’s underwear, the smaller woman stops her.
“Wait,” Angela gasps, pushing Amanda’s face away. Her hand is shaking, but she continues. “You don’t have to. I know you haven’t. I don’t want to make you-”
Amanda slaps away the hand pressing on her forehead, frowning. “I’m going down on you, babe.” She takes the waistband in her hand and starts tugging it down. “I’ve sucked a lot of dick. I can handle…”
Her voice trails off when she pulls Angela’s underwear down and sees just how wet the other woman is for her. Quickly, she finishes taking the underwear off, tossing it aside without a care. Settling on her stomach, Amanda looks up the length of Angela’s body to meet her wide, nervous eyes.
“You’re so wet,” she breathes as she slowly runs a finger between the other woman’s legs. “Jesus, is this because of me?”
Angela clenches her jaw, clearly trying to hold herself together. She just nods weakly. When Amanda circles her clit, a strained groan escapes her and her eyes flutter shut.
It makes Amanda feel powerful to see the effect she has on Angela. The other woman is so good at playing things off, joking to hide her real feelings, but there’s no denying this. Amanda’s hand slides lower, and she teases Angela, a finger barely entering her. Angela falls back onto the pillows, hands covering her face.
Amanda decides she has a goal: Get Angela to relax. She knows her best friend, knows that she’s silently freaking out. What does Amanda do when Angela freaks out? She knocks some sense into her.
Pushing two fingers into Angela, Amanda watches as her chest heaves. “Like this?” she asks, as if she can’t see exactly what she’s doing to her. “Or…” She curls her fingers, and a moan rips from Angela’s lips.
She’s too far, Amanda realizes. She can’t see Angela’s face, can’t watch her fall apart. Shifting onto her knees, Amanda leans over Angela, her hand still moving slowly. From here, her weight on her arm as she holds herself up, she can see the furrow between Angela’s eyebrows, the way her lips tremble, the flush spread over her face and chest. Angela has to draw her knees up, legs spread wide to make room for Amanda. She looks so vulnerable and beautiful that Amanda has to take a deep breath.
“Look at me,” Amanda orders as she picks up speed. “Babe. I’m serious. Look at me.”
Eyes opening, Angela drops her hands onto the bed, clutching the pillow on either side of her head. “This is crazy,” she gasps weakly. “You’re really…”
She stares up at Amanda with wonder, and Amanda can’t stop herself. She crashes their lips together. For once, she doesn’t have to restrain herself. She doesn’t have to imagine it. Angela tries to kiss her back, but she’s distracted by Amanda’s touch. Amanda doesn’t mind. She swallows every moan and whine, greedily drinking them down.
When Angela’s mouth falls open, Amanda moves her hand, pulling out to rub fast circles over her. Small hands fly up to grab her shoulders, and she laughs. She must be doing a good job.
“Attagirl,” Amanda praises, lifting her head so she can see better. “Shoulda known you’d come fast.”
Angela frowns at her. It’s adorable to see her try and focus when her eyes keep trying to close. “Shut up,” she manages before a moan escapes her. “You’re so annoying.”
Chuckling, Amanda just watches as Angela pants, mesmerized by the way her back arches. Soft, breathy noises spill from her, and Amanda’s eyes widen. A moment later, Angela falls over the edge with a gasp, holding onto Amanda for dear life.
“Gorgeous,” Amanda groans, fingers slowing to a stop. “Holy shit, Ang. You’re amazing.”
Angela’s legs tighten against Amanda’s side, and she sucks in air. Her eyes open slowly, blinking up hazily. Amanda can’t help feeling proud of herself. That wasn’t that hard. She can’t believe she ever gave guys a pass.
“Don’t look so smug,” Angela laughs weakly, sliding her hands up to cup Amanda’s face. “Your ego doesn’t need any help.”
“It’s not my fault I’m a natural!”
Kissing her again, Amanda takes a moment to enjoy this, to enjoy the closeness. Having Angela so close, being able to actually kiss her, is breathtaking and world-changing. She’s imagined it for so long, but it’s real now. Angela is here, and Amanda is finally allowed to have her.
“Wait,” Angela sighs, turning her head. Amanda just shifts her attention to Angela’s neck, making her giggle. “Stop,” she laughs breathlessly as she weakly pushes at Amanda’s shoulders. “I want to take care of you, too.”
“What if I’m not done yet?” Amanda shoots back, lifting her head and raising her eyebrows. “I still wanna use the strap-on.”
Angela frowns, head tilting. “You…want to wear it?”
“Duh!”
“I thought you’d want me to use it because…” She flushes, fingertips twitching against Amanda’s cheeks.
Sitting back again, Amanda looks down at Angela. “Because I’ve only slept with men?”
It’s not a ridiculous thought, but it still hurts to see Angela nod with a small, worried frown. Amanda hasn’t slept with a woman before. That doesn’t mean that she’s comparing Angela to all the men she’s hooked up with or past boyfriends or anyone else. She’s doing this because she loves Angela, because she thinks women are beautiful, because she’s never wanted to explore this side of her as much as she does now.
“I don’t want you to be a man,” Amanda says quietly, sitting on the bed. The mood is shifting, but she wants to make sure Angela knows this isn’t an experiment or a joke. “We could never use a dildo, and I’d be fine with that. It isn’t about…” She brushes her hands over her face, trying to formulate words. She’s avoided having this conversation, even with herself, for so long that she doesn’t have the words ready. “I want to be with you,” she settles on, looking at Angela with tight eyes. “I’ve always liked girls, women, but this isn’t about trying something new or pretending this is the same. I want to keep doing the things we have been, but I want it to be more. Real. I want you. Exactly as you are.”
Tears prick the corners of Angela’s eyes, and she stays where she is for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s hard to believe it’s real,” she admits quietly. “I feel like I’m going to wake up, and you’ll be next to me, and it’ll be just another sleepover. That this is a dream. I’m worried…” She trails off, hands fidgeting on the bed. “I’m worried that I like you too much, and you’ll change your mind.”
“I won’t,” Amanda tells her simply. “We’ve been friends for, like, 3 years, and I still like you. I’ve seen you throw up, have anxiety attacks, cry because you ruined your pasta sauce…” She smiles when Angela laughs at that, finally looking at her. “We’ll talk, okay? I promise. We talk about everything, and now we can talk about everything.”
Angela sits up, looking at Amanda with a small smile. “Best friends forever?”
“Best friends forever.”
Quickly, Angela shifts onto her knees, cups Amanda’s face, and kisses her softly. “Alright,” she murmurs against her lips. “I guess you can wear the strap.”
“Yes!” Amanda kisses her hard for a moment before scrambling off the bed. “Where is it?”
“Dresser. Top drawer.”
Amanda goes straight to the dresser and pulls it open. She finds the harness tucked in the back and the dildo in a velvet pouch. Pulling it out, she holds it up, looking at Angela with raised eyebrows.
“What?” Angela asks, flushing. “The pouch keeps it clean and it doesn’t roll around!”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“You didn’t have to!”
Laughing, Amanda puts the harness and pouch on the bed and pulls off her underwear. When she straightens up again, Angela’s eyes are dark, dragging over her body. It makes Amanda warm to see her look so hungry. She wonders how many times she’s just missed this look.
“God, you’re hot,” Angela murmurs from her spot kneeling on the bed. “It’s so crazy.”
Amanda just puts her hands on her hips, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I know.”
Shaking her head, a disbelieving smile crosses Angela’s face. “You’re so fucking stupid.” She laughs, the sound so giddy and carefree that Amanda blushes. “You’re also amazing.”
Amanda has to look away from the sparkle in Angela’s eyes. She’s been complimented a million times, but it sounds different coming from her best friend. It always has. She focuses on putting the harness on, dragging the straps up her long legs. Every few inches, she has to stop to loosen the straps.
“Jesus, you’re tiny,” she mumbles as she finally gets it around her hips and starts adjusting it correctly. “I’ll get my own for next time.”
When the harness is secure, she picks up the pouch and crawls onto the bed. She pulls the dildo out, fumbling as she tries to figure out how to put it through the O-ring. Small hands take it from her, more experienced with getting ready.
Amanda watches as Angela gets her squared away, brushing her hand over still-damp hair. “Thank you,” she murmurs. Angela glances up at her, and Amanda smiles. “For trusting me like this. To wear it.”
“Well,” Angela replies, cheeks turning red, “it’s not like I haven’t thought about it before.”
“You have?” Amanda grins when Angela finishes with the harness and sits back. Wrapping her hand around her dick, she laughs. “You’ve imagined me fucking you with a big, purple-”
“Ew!”
They laugh together, still caught up in the excitement of finally being together like this. Amanda covers Angela with her body and sighs happily. The dildo is trapped between them, reminding them both of what they’re about to do.
Dipping her head, Amanda kisses the smaller woman softly, sliding her hands along soft thighs. “Tell me if I’m doing something wrong, okay?”
“Yeah, whatever. Just-” Angela gasps when Amanda’s hand moves between her legs, fingers dipping in. “Can you just fuck me already?”
Amanda’s tenuous grip on her self-control snaps, and she quickly sits back. She grabs the pouch, pulling out a bottle of lube. It only takes her a second to cover her dick, and then she lines herself up with Angela’s entrance. Taking a deep breath, she pushes her hips forward, watching Angela’s face closely.
Angela’s mouth falls open as Amanda slides into her. Inch by inch, Amanda presses into her, shifting until their hips meet. Swallowing hard, Angela grabs her legs behind the knees and holds them up. She’s so full, and she can only stare up at Amanda.
For her part, Amanda has to remind herself to breathe. Her eyes drag over Angela’s flushed face, her chest, the slight tremble of her stomach. She’s never seen anyone look so perfect.
Resting a hand on the bed, Amanda holds Angela’s waist and starts to move. She starts an agonizingly slow rhythm, eyes glued to Angela’s face. This is about making her feel good, and making this a special first time together.
“You can, uh, it’s okay to go faster.”
Amanda nods and picks up the pace, grip tightening. Now, each thrust makes Angela’s small breasts bounce. The smaller woman pants and stares up with dark, lidded eyes. Amanda swallows, snapping her hips with each move. Their hips slam together on a hard thrust, and Angela groans.
“You’re so sexy,” Amanda groans, finding her rhythm now. “Does it feel good?”
Nodding weakly, Angela’s eyes clench shut. “So good,” she murmurs. Her hands jump to Amanda’s biceps. “You’re doing great.”
The praise makes Amanda grin. She leans in to brush her lips over Angela’s lips, trailing along her face until she can press her mouth to her ear. “You’re taking mommy so well.”
“Fuck,” Angela laughs breathlessly. Her arms wrap around Amanda’s shoulders as she pants under her. “Hate that I like that.”
Amanda shifts again, doing her best to keep her rhythm as her muscles start to ache. This is harder than she expected, and she knows she’ll be sore in the morning. She can’t wait. She can’t wait to be reminded every time she shifts of how she fucked Angela like this, of how Angela took her so well.
“I get it now,” Amanda pants as she grips Angela’s hips with both hands for better leverage. “Best view in the world.”
Angela’s back arches, breasts moving with each hard slam of Amanda’s hips. She fists her hands in the sheets. Every whine and moan that escapes her spurs Amanda on more. She wants to see Angela come undone, wants to memorize the way she looks like this.
Heart pounding, Amanda forces herself to keep her rhythm, even as her body burns. “Come for me, baby,” she orders, fingers digging into soft skin. “Come for mommy.”
She pushes a hand between Angela’s legs, rubbing her quickly as she keeps moving. It takes all her focus, but she doesn’t slow. Amanda wants to see Angela come more than anything, needs it so much.
A choked gasp bursts from Angela as she tenses, knuckles white in the sheets. Amanda slows her movements and just watches the way Angela’s throat works as she swallows again and again, the way her hips ride Amanda’s dick to prolong the feeling, the way her whole body trembles.
“That’s a good girl,” Amanda praises softly. She leans over Angela, brushing her hair from her face gently. “Breathe, baby.”
“Oh my god.” Angela sucks in a deep breath and blinks her eyes open. She grins weakly. “Fucking natural.”
“Fucking natural.”
“So dumb,” she murmurs, even as she gently cups Amanda’s face and pulls her in for a kiss. “You’re so smug.”
They kiss slowly, urgency melting away. It’s repetitive now, but Amanda can’t stop feeling lucky that she gets to do this, to show Angela exactly how she feels. Now, they can move forward, kiss whenever they want to, and neither of them has to hold back.
After a moment, Angela pushes on Amanda’s shoulders. “Roll over,” she mumbles against her lips. “I haven’t gotten to do anything.”
Amanda pulls out finally, smiling when Angela gasps. “You’re so easy. I’m going to have so much fun with you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Unfastening the harness with nimble fingers, Angela grins at Amanda. “I might even let you.”
When the harness is off, Amanda falls onto her back. Angela straddles her waist, leaning forward to kiss her. She’s so small, has to spread her legs so wide to sit on Amanda’s stomach. As they kiss, Amanda can feel Angela moving on her stomach, spreading her arousal over her skin. It’s intoxicating to know that Amanda is going to smell like her after this.
“Touch me,” Amanda orders, pushing at Angela’s thighs. “Do something already.”
Angela just laughs and kisses her way down Amanda’s throat, along her collarbones, and over her breasts. She doesn’t waste any time settling between the older woman’s legs. Licking her lips, she looks up at Amanda.
“You smell so good.”
With a whimper, Amanda spreads her legs. “I don’t come from head,” she tells her, shrugging. “It’s nice, though.”
Angela raises her eyebrows and pushes Amanda’s legs up and out. “We’ll see about that.”
Slowly, Angela drags her tongue over Amanda, dipping into her before pressing against her clit. It’s wet and hot and the soft swirl of her tongue makes Amanda groan. She already feels dizzy.
Heat pools in her as Angela works, switching between gentle licks and deep sucks. Amanda didn’t know it could feel like this, that someone’s mouth could drive her this crazy. She pushes her hands into Angela’s hair, holding her close.
It should annoy her that she can feel Angela grin against her, but honestly, the woman has earned the right to be smug. Low, rumbling moans pour from Amanda, her hips moving against Angela’s tongue. It feels like she’s melting and burning, like she can’t breathe. Amanda’s head falls to the side, eyes squeezing shut.
“So good,” she praises roughly. Her hands tighten in Angela’s hair when the woman does something magical. “Fuck, Ang, you’re perfect.”
The praise spurs Angela on, and she works harder to push Amanda over the edge. It won’t take much more, Amanda knows, her thighs trembling as she gets closer and closer. Angela’s fingers dig into her thighs. Chest heaving, Amanda whines, so desperate that she can’t even think about censoring herself.
For once, she’s not performing during sex. She doesn’t have to pretend like she’s enjoying this, doesn’t have to worry about hurting her partner’s ego. Angela is doing something that feels better than anything else Amanda has ever known. Her breath catches in her throat, Angela presses her tongue hard, and Amanda falls over the edge.
She moans loudly, back arching, hands fisting in Angela’s hair. The other woman hisses in pain, but doesn’t stop. She licks Amanda clean, drinks her down, until Amanda has to push her away. Her legs fall to the bed, and she takes a moment to just breathe.
When she opens her eyes, Angela is sitting up, wiping her face with a grin. “I’d ask if you liked it, but…”
“That was…” Amanda shivers and trails her fingers over her stomach. Her dark eyes watch Angela closely, taking in her shiny cheeks and chin. “This is our first time, and it’s already the best sex I’ve ever had.”
Eyelashes fluttering, Angela blushes. “Really?” She seems shy now, a sharp contrast to what she’d just been doing. “You’re not just saying that?”
Amanda sits up and reaches out for her. “Honey…” Gathering Angela in her arms, she pulls her close. “Everything I’ve ever done with you has been the best. Why would this be any different?”
“I love you.”
Amanda’s breath hitches, and she stares into Angela’s wide eyes. They’ve said it before, in person, over text, on camera. This is different. The way Angela’s jaw clenches as she fights to keep herself from taking it back tells Amanda just how real it is, how much she means it romantically, seriously.
Cupping her face, Amanda brushes her thumbs over Angela’s cheeks. “I love you, too,” she murmurs quietly. “In every way.”
It should be too soon to say. They’ve just had sex, just admitted they were more than friends, just crossed the line so far that they could never go back. That’s what makes it real, though. It’s always been real. This is just a new layer, a new chapter in their story.
“I love you,” she repeats, voice stronger this time.
Angela nods, wrapping her arms around Amanda. “I love you.”
Their lips crash together. Amanda’s heart pounds as Angela’s tongue pushes into her mouth, deepening the kiss. She’s dizzy, overheated and overwhelmed, but the way Angela clings to her makes her feel more awake than ever. She feels alive.
“Can I fuck you again?” Angela gasps into Amanda’s open mouth. “With the strap?”
Amanda moans, kissing her hungrily before managing to tear herself away. “Yes. Show me how it’s done, babe.”
Nodding frantically, Angela scrambles backward. She puts the harness on with more smoothness than Amanda had. It’s tight in seconds, her hand spreading lube on it in quick, sure strokes. Somehow, Amanda’s body manages to grow hotter at the sight.
“Oh, god,” she moans, spreading her legs. “You’re gonna feel so good. I know it.”
“Roll over.”
The order is raspy and deep, a voice Amanda has never heard from her silly best friend before. She’s on her knees before she can register it. Her face presses into the cool sheets, ass in the air. She feels wild and crazy, but she knows Angela will take good care of her.
She jumps when Angela’s hand runs between her legs, finding her wet and ready. Angela enters her in one smooth motion, and Amanda gasps, hands tightening in the sheets. Small hands spread over her back, gripping her waist.
Angela starts a fast, hard rhythm that turns Amanda to putty immediately. She’s still sensitive from her last orgasm, and Angela is stretching her in the best way. It’s all she can do not to cry as each thrust pushes a loud, breathless moan from her.
“Fuck,” Amanda manages weakly, pressing her face into the bed. “Feels- So good, baby.”
Draping herself over Amanda’s back, Angela cups her breasts, using them as leverage. Each move tugs and fills and teases. She whimpers, knees sliding against the bed to spread further apart. It’s so much, but it’s exactly what Amanda wants, what she needs.
“You look amazing,” Angela breathes against her back. She kisses the sweating skin messily as she moves. “Fuck, Mandy. Mommy.”
The name makes Amanda groan, and she throws her head up, hair splaying over her back. “That’s right,” she chokes as Angela gathers her hair in her hands. “Making mommy feel so good.”
Angela uses her hair like a leash, tugging hard with each slam of her hips. She pounds into Amanda again and again and again. It hurts in the best way, and Amanda doesn’t want it to stop. She wants this to last forever.
Then, she hears Angela moan, hips grinding against Amanda’s ass. The movement pushes her forward, and she has to adjust her hands to stay up. Angela circles her hips again before resuming her movement.
“You can feel it?” Amanda gasps, eyes clenching shut. “Can you come with me?”
Angela’s hips stutter at the question. “It’s not enough,” she groans. “Feels fucking perfect, though. Pussy feels so good.”
Amanda comes with a strangled sob, shaking against Angela as the other woman keeps moving. The tiny sounds spilling from Angela drive her crazy, and as soon as she can think again, she pulls away and flips them over. Angela gasps as Amanda tears the harness off and buries her face between Angela’s legs.
It doesn’t matter that Amanda has never done this before. Her eagerness and desperation are enough. She moans into Angela, lapping her up and pushing her tongue deep inside. Angela grunts as she comes, hips frantically grinding against Amanda’s mouth.
Crawling up Angela’s body, Amanda kisses her hungrily. They’re both sweating and flushed, unfocused and distracted, but they cling to each other. There’s so much time to make up for, so much time ahead of them.
“I love you,” Amanda pants, hands roaming over Angela’s body. “I wanna fuck you forever.”
Angela whimpers in agreement and grabs Amanda’s ass, holding her close. “Love you,” she repeats automatically. “Forever.”
Eventually, their kisses slow, turning languid and lazy. Amanda grins and nudges Angela’s face to the side with her nose. Her lips brush along her throat, tongue licking sweat from her collarbones.
“Girls can just keep going, huh?” She chuckles softly. “We could do this all weekend.”
“Great plan,” Angela agrees, with a tired laugh, “but maybe we stop for tonight?”
Pouting, Amanda lifts herself to look down at Angela’s flushed and sweaty face. “Worn out already?”
Angela just rolls her eyes. “I came like four times, Amanda. Give my vagina a break!”
“Whatever, loser.” She smiles to let Angela know she’s only kidding. “This was amazing, though. Really.” Dropping onto the bed beside Angela, she looks at her softly. “I’m sorry,” she mutters, turning to stare at the ceiling. “I should have said something sooner. I was just worried.”
Angela sighs, but she rolls onto her side to face Amanda. “I could have said something, too. It’s not the same, but… I get it. Really. I’m just glad we’re together now.” Her face darkens. “We are dating now, right?”
Snorting, Amanda nods. “Yeah, dummy. We’re together.” She meets Angela’s eyes with a warm smile. “Should we skip the early stages and just move in together? Your apartment sucks, and you practically live at mine anyway.”
“I’ll move in tomorrow,” Angela says, only half-kidding. “I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend. Chanse is going to freak out.”
“Ugh, I don’t want to think about telling anyone right now. Not because I want this to be a secret - I don’t. I just want to spend the weekend in our little bubble, having a bunch of sex and arguing over whose furniture we’re keeping.”
They lay quietly for a moment, slowly growing tired in the quiet bedroom. Eventually, Amanda lifts an arm for Angela, who curls against her immediately. It’s easy, and it feels like any other night. It’s not, though.
Amanda presses a kiss to Angela’s head, and Angela tangles their legs together. They’re still naked, still raw and vulnerable. It’s new, and it’s wonderful. It’s Amanda and it’s Angela. It’s forever.