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In a lot of inconsequential, stupid ways, Baku is bigger than Go Hyuntak.
Most of it is just an objective fact. He’s taller. He’s got bigger arms, legs, muscles, the whole deal. He’s only gotten bulkier since he finished physical therapy, having been possessed by some crazy drive to make up for his (not so weak anymore) shoulder.
And Go Hyuntak is all for it! He holds Baku’s feet down when he’s doing sit-ups, counts his push-ups for him when he loses track, spots him when he’s lifting weights. He’s Baku’s friend. This is the kind of thing friends do for each other, especially when they’re best friends who’ve known each other since they were basically still in diapers.
That much Go Hyuntak knows. But what he also knows is that most friends don’t look at their friends the way he looks at Baku.
They don’t watch the spot where their friend’s shirt rides up to reveal their abs. They don’t track the progression of a drop of sweat as it slides down their friend’s collar. They don’t get sweaty themselves just from watching their friend play soccer.
Go Hyuntak knows exactly what sickness he has, and it isn’t the kind that’s fixed by a good night’s sleep and some cough syrup. It’s the kind that gets worse with sleep and dreams and time. Everything you can think of, he’s tried. Blind dates, double dates, watching some of the worst porn he’s ever seen in his life. None of it works.
There really isn’t anything he can do to deny it. He thinks that Baku is hot. Sexy. Whatever. This isn’t actually as big of a problem as he thought originally, since it’s his feelings and it’s not like he’s suddenly acting awkward because of it. They’re still friends and they still play pool or games after school together.
Its not like Go Hyuntak was going to tell him in the first place. No fucking way. There’s no chance Baku even remotely feels the same, and even if he did Go Hyuntak isn’t sure if he’d prefer it that way. He likes how things are now and he doesn’t want it to change.
The universe has other plans, though. Or maybe it’s his own traitorous fucking brain, suddenly noticing all these things that never seemed that important before.
Like the way Baku’s arms swell whenever he’s lifting. Or the size of his hands when they’re splayed out on the floor while he’s doing push-ups. Or even just the easy manner with which he slings his arm over Go Hyuntak’s shoulders whenever they’re going anywhere, a comfortable perch that’s been practiced a thousand times before.
Go Hyuntak doesn’t say anything about it. He’s always known Baku is big, in pretty much every way possible. The guy’s got a larger-than-life presence wherever he goes, compounded with his height and general build. It used to be a never-ending source of annoyance for Go Hyuntak when he was little, never being the taller one even through his (few) growth spurts.
Well. The good news is that he’s generally gotten over the insecure part of his obsession. The bad news is that he kind of likes it now.
Overall: he’s fucked. In more ways than one.
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Baku’s got a touchy-feely habit.
He’s always been the kind of guy who’ll give you a handshake instead of a thank you, or a hug instead of a handshake. It’s part of what makes him so annoying. And likable. He’s just being friendly, in the way that he knows best.
At least, that’s what Go Hyuntak used to think before they got together. Just being friendly, his ass. This is not what being friendly looks like, not in a million years.
This, being Baku’s right hand wrapped completely around his arm, the left halfway down his pants and teasing at the seam of his boxers. Go Hyuntak can’t even protest because the fucker’s got his lips locked, kissing like he’s trying to dig out one of Go Hyuntak’s molars.
What really gets him, though, isn’t the kissing – even if it feels good and makes his ears hot – or the hand dangerously close to his unmentionables. It’s not even the excitement or exertion of the soccer match they were having just a few minutes ago, leftover adrenaline still coursing through his veins.
It’s the fact that Baku’s gripping onto his upper arm with the hoodie on, and his fingers still reach all the way around. It’s the fact that Baku’s not even trying to restrain him, just holding onto him while they’re messing around, and he still can’t move his arm. Not a single inch.
It’s a weird thing to like – feeling powerless, feeling small – but he likes it. Sue him. There are people with some crazy ass kinks out there (courtesy of his brief stint in competitive porn-watching) and he thinks he’s being relatively tame if all he’s into is a bit of manhandling.
He’s still not going to tell Baku, though. No fucking way. Dating or not, that’s just not the kind of thing you say to someone whose defining personality trait to most people is ‘strong.’ Especially not when you’re also going to a boxing ring in secret to get stronger in case more bastards from the Union come knocking.
It’s not like he enjoys it when he gets beat down into the dirt. He didn’t get magically hard when Bae Jihoon almost gave him a concussion and he sure as hell didn’t get off to Lee Sehan beating him practically unconscious.
It’s just different with Baku. Most things are, but especially this. Maybe it’s because he knows Baku would never actually hit him. Probably because he knows if he just asks, Baku will stop; the sense of overwhelming security that a little rough-and-tumble play could never erase.
Or maybe it’s just because he likes everything about Baku, and it’s an objective fact that Baku is a fair bit larger than him.
Go Hyuntak can’t help what he’s into. ‘What he’s into’ just happens to be Baku, Bak Humin, top dog at Eunjang High School and his maybe-kinda-sorta boyfriend. Sue him!