Work Text:
[Friday, 6:42 pm - group chat: the best grid 👑💥 ]
Lando:
okay hear me out
this might be controversial
but i think oscar’s an introvert bc he knows he’d be too powerful as an extrovert
Oscar:
I’m literally just trying to eat pasta in peace?
Lando:
see??
dangerous
Max:
pasta? in peace?
wooooow might as well be killing someone rn
[Friday, 7:33 pm - private chat: Lando & Oscar]
Lando:
you’re all about writing poems
but I’m about throwing parties
think you should come to my party
and put your hands up 🕺
Oscar:
Are you trying to flirt with me or start a cult
Lando:
why not both 🥰
besides you’re already in too deep
i saw you save that meme I sent yesterday
don’t deny it
Oscar:
I’m denying it. Vehemently.
Lando:
vehemently is such a poem word
god you’re hot
how do you not have a girl??
Oscar:
That’s the serotonin talking
Lando:
and you’re the serotonin 🫶
[Friday, 10:21 pm - private chat: Lando & Oscar]
Lando:
my demons are chasing me
and they’re doing the naruto run
🧍💨💨💨💨💨
Oscar:
ew.
Lando:
what the hell
have some empathy
bitch
Oscar:
Not for you if you bring anime into it.
Lando:
wow
so i suffer and you just say "ew"
this is emotional babuse
*abuse
Oscar:
You made me picture you getting hunted by anime cosplayers.
That’s emotional babuse.
Lando:
i'd be hot even while being hunted
sobbing
but hot
Oscar:
🤢
Lando:
you just jealous that demons don't chase you
Oscar:
They do.
They just look suspiciously like my teammate.
Lando:
rude.
[Saturday, 5:10 pm - group chat: the best grid 👑💥 ]
Charles:
Has anyone seen my red hoodie?
Last seen: on the grid before quali ???
Yuki:
You mean the one Max is wearing?
Max:
you promised you wouldn’t rat me out!
fuck
i mean
what hoodie?
Lando:
lol
Charles:
Okay, you can keep it for now. But I want it back, I left my headphones in a pocket.
Max:
i know. i already put them to charge.
Lando:
you two are so in love.
it’s disgusting.
don’t stop tho🧡
Charles:
I was not planning on stopping anytime soon.
Max:
@Lando jealous?
[Saturday, 5:15 pm, private chat: Lando & Oscar]
Oscar:
If you’re planning on asking me to borrow my hoodie, don’t.
Firstly, I will not let you borrow it. Secondly, we are in the same team. What sense would it make?
Lando:
wasn’t planning to ask
Oscar:
Sure. And you're currently not pouting.
Lando:
exactly
Oscar:
You are a bad liar.
Lando:
whatever kangaroo
Oscar:
I wanted to offer you my custom hockey jersey, but since you weren't going to ask…
Lando:
🖕🏻
[Saturday, 6:35 pm, group chat: the best grid 👑💥 ]
Lando:
guys
my demons chased me all through sector 2
and they were doing the naruto run
🧍💨💨💨💨💨
Oscar:
You can’t make the same joke twice.
Max:
do your demons also complain about tire deg?
Lando:
yes
they sound like my engineer
but sexier 🥵
Carlos:
Go to sleep, amigo
You’re being weird again.
Alex:
Again? He has stopped before?
George:
Do your demons also cry on the radio?
Lando:
yes
and you know what they say?
"box box"
Yuki:
STOP I’M IN PUBLIC
Danny-boy:
this is the most spiritually accurate conversation I've ever seen <3
Pierre:
@Yuki YOU SAID YOU WERE IN YOUR ROOM WTF ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE???
PICK UP THE CALL YOU COWARD
George:
I can’t tell if Lando’s okay or experiencing a full mental break
Oscar:
Why not both?
He’s very talented.
He can totally multitask🤎
Lando:
look at this emotional support
true friendship
thank u oscar ily🧡
Oscar:
You’re like if a Red Bull and a Tumblr post had a baby.
Just more annoying.
Sebastian:
Do you boys ever touch grass?
Charles:
I love grass💚
Lewis:
this is exaxctly why I meditate
Oscar:
This is why I pretend I don’t know Lando in public.
Lando:
wow
stabbed
betrayed
left in the rain like an orphaned kitten
i hope you stub your toe
in the shower
Checo:
Can you two flirt somewhere else?
It’s enough that I had to see 33 and 16 all the time. Let me at least enjoy retirement.
Lance:
God help me. I actually ship it.😍
Kevin:
Can someone explain to me what naruto is?
Zhou:
no, and it’s funnier that way
[Saturday, 6:57 pm, private chat: Lando & Oscar]
Lando:
fake friend😔
absolute betrayal
i am not like red bull and tumblr lovechild
i’m sponsored by monster🔥🔥🔥🧡🧡🧡💯💯💯
if you want to insult me, do it properly
😡😡😡😡
how dare you
Oscar:
I didn’t know hydration was treason.
Lando:
it is if it comes in a blue can
i’m writing you out of my will🤡
Oscar:
Pretty sure I’m not in it anyway.
Lando:
you were gonna get my karting gloves
and the emotional trauma🦋👑
Oscar:
Wow. So generous.
[ten minutes later]
Oscar:
Are you actually okay, though?
You seemed off after the race.
Lando:
🥺
Oscar:
Don’t do the big eyes.
Just answer.
Lando:
i’m fine
just tired
like
soul-tired
but in a hot way🔥🔥🔥
Oscar:
Of course.
You’re a tortured Victorian maiden.
Clutching your white Monster can and gazing out the window.
Lando:
exactly 🥀
Oscar:
You sure you’re good, mate?
Lando:
yeah
better now that you're here
even if you betrayed me with your traitor beverage
Oscar:
I’ll bring you a Monster next time.
A white one.
Your poison of choice.
Lando:
you DO love me!!!
Oscar:
I never said that
Lando:
you didn’t have to, pookie
i can read between the lines🧡
[03:12 am - Lando & Oscar]
Oscar:
Oscar:
Thinking of you.
Unfortunately.
Lando:
creepy
Oscar:
You’re the one with an emotional support energy drink brand.
I’m just enabling the addiction.
Also, you should be sleeping.
Lando:
(seen 03:14 am)
Lando:
thinking of you
on purpose🧡
Oscar:
What is that circle?
Are you flirting or declaring war?
Lando:
both
depends how you reply
Oscar:
What a dangerous game.
Lando:
go to sleep
before you start catching feelings 😉
Oscar:
A bit too late for that.
Lando: [Voice memo – 0:04]
Yeah, it is, Oscar.
Oscar:
(seen 03:33 am)
[typing…]
[stops]
[typing…]
Oscar:
Goodnight, Lando🧡
[Sunday, 5:08 am - private chat: Lando & Oscar]
Lando:
this made me think of you
[Sunday, 7:47 am - private chat: Lando & Max]
Max:
good morning
you up?
need someone to go for food with me
because Charles refuses :( he doesn’t love me anymore
Lando:
good morning?
yeah.
was up at 5, overthinking every text I sent last night
cause… yeah, i happened to text osc some shit 🙃
Max:
read it out loud to Charlie, he just went “classic lando”
not even sure he’s fully awake yet XD
but he’s right
you do be overthinking instead of sleeping a lot
I’m kinda proud <3
Lando:
I’m a mess 😔🙃
how are you so normal about charles? teach me your ways
Max:
step 1: don’t send anything after 11 pm and before 5 am
step 2: pretend nothing happened (unless you’re ready to talk feelings)
step 3: repeat indefinitely
Lando:
i’m 0 for 3
i want to text him another meme but also look like i’m not desperate
so i’m stuck
Max:
send the meme
osc might pretend it’s casual
Lando:
bold of you to assume i can casual
i’m a catastrophe wrapped in sarcasm
Max:
you’re his catastrophe💙🧡
but you’re funny so it’s okay
Lando:
smooth talker
are you flirting with me or just trying to distract me from my shame?
Max:
not flirting.
if i was flirting, you’d know
Lando:
you’re a little weird sometimes
Max:
only sometimes?
Lando:
idk
think you went soft with charles
Max:
Hey, be nice to him! You made him cry! -C
Lando:
tell your man not to be weird then
Max:
Tell your man to become your man, then. -C
Lando:
i’m getting a lot of hateful vibes over here
Max:
Not hateful, just tired of you two pretending there’s nothing more going on. -C
Lando:
will you give the phone back to max if i promise to talk to osc today?
Max:
No. Oscar first. -C
[Sunday, 7:11 pm - private chat: Lando & Oscar]
Lando:
hey, hotstuff
just so you know...
i was thinking about you again
and it’s kind of distracting 🙃
[Sunday, 7:12 pm - private chat: Lando & Oscar]
Oscar:
Screenshot of Lando’s message
Hey gays.
Help me - what do I say to that?
Charles:
Ohhh, he’s really doing it.
Are you going to play it cool or faint dramatically?
Max:
play it cool = ask if he wants to meet up later.
faint dramatically = send a meme and run away.
Oscar:
I am not sending memes right now.
This is serious.
Also, I might faint.
Charles:
We got your back.
But remember: no ghosting. If you ghost him, I will come haunt you. With Arthur. And Leo.
Max:
or you’re buying drinks next time
Oscar:
Fine.
What do I even say?
Charles:
“You’re distracting me too. Wanna fix that?”
Max:
bonus points if you add a winky face, loverboy 😉
Oscar:
Ugh.
Fine.
Wish me luck.
[Sunday, 7:28 pm - private chat: Lando & Oscar]
Oscar:
You’re distracting me too. Do you want to do something about it?
Lando:
do i???
ofc
wanna come here???
Oscar:
I will be there in two minutes.
Lando:
wait give it more like five
i need to pee really badly
[Sunday, 7:31 pm, group chat: the best grid 👑💥 ]
Alex:
Okay, someone explain — why did I just see Oscar sprinting down the hotel hallway like he was late for a flight? Is there something happening? Am I late for something too?
Oscar:
I was just running late for a very important meeting. 😎
Lando:
sounds like he was running from his feelings.
George:
Oscar is fine. Just sleep-deprived and emotionally unstable.
Yuki:
Mood.
Carlos:
Did he look like he was holding Monster energy cans?
Sebastian:
This doesn’t sound like a typical F1 mental health crisis hour.
Pierre:
Should someone call a doctor or just offer snacks?
Lewis:
Both.
Snacks and a doctor.
Preferably at the same time.
Lando:
nah, no need to worry.
Oscy-boy was just rushing to a top-secret strategy sesh.
NOT in my room.
Charles:
Top-secret? Or top-flirty?
Max:
definitely top-flirty. i’m sensing late-night texts escalating to real-time💙
Lando:
stfu
Alex:
Is this why I’m missing the party downstairs?
Oscar:
Party was cancelled. Replaced by very serious chats.
Lando:
serious chats involving how annoying Alex is for noticing.🥱
Alex:
Hey! Just trying to figure out if I might get fined for missing like a FIA meeting or something.
And I like keeping the mystery around here alive!
Sebastian:
Mystery or melodrama? Asking for the entire grid.
Oscar:
Look, we’re just talking.
Nothing suspicious.
Lando:
yeah, nothing at all.
just two dudes, talking.
probably about race lines.
Charles:
Sure, sure. And I’m a unicorn.
Max:
can we all agree Oscar sounds way too stressed to just be “talking”?
Oscar:
It’s called emotional cardio, Max.
Lando:
And I’m the coach.
I love giving him the tough kind of love.
Among other hard things.
Sebastian:
Okay, I really should be going to… iron… my bees.
Yep, just ironing my bees.
Because this is getting weird.
Lando:
for the record - i did not write that
Alex:
Sounds like I walked in on the season finale of a romcom.
Oscar:
@Lando Yes, you did.
Now back to your regularly scheduled chaos.
Checo:
Someone get popcorn.
George:
I’m just here for the commentary.
Lando:
(last active: 1 minute ago)
Oscar:
(last active: 1 minute ago)
Alex:
They are for sure a thing. Tell me I’m wrong.
George:
You’re wrong.
Alex:
Fuck off, they must be! Like wtf was this? 🤣🤣
George:
Well you told me to tell you that you’re wrong. So I did 🤴🤷♂️🤷♂️
Carlos:
Oscar is too proper, tho. Don’t think he’d start dating someone like Lando…
Even if he’s like super hot.
Ignore I said that.
Danny-boy:
NO I WONT
YOU SAID YOU DIDNT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM
Alex:
It’s a bit weird to call grown-ass man having feelings for someone a “crush”.
Carlos:
I don’t have feelings for Lando, I just think he’s kinda hot. Nothing else.
Charles:
I also don’t have feelings for RedBull driver Max Verstappen.
By the way, did you guys see the photo he posted of us?
Lance:
you are all disgusting
I love it <3
[Monday, 7:55 am - private chat: Max & Oscar]
Max:
sooooooo how did it go, loverboy?
Oscar:
Pretty good, I think?
Max:
YOU THINK???
fuck me man you two idiots were really made for each other
i’m happy for yall tho
Me too, Oscar. -C
Oscar:
thanks Maxie <3
Max:
Lando, return the phone to Oscar, the adults are talking. -C
Oscar:
🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻
btw Osc can’t rn
gotta go too i wanna kiss him some more
😘💋💋