Chapter Text
Sam Wilson never thought he’d find himself in the situation where he has to take a pregnancy test.
He was a biological man, usually with no chance of pregnancy due to science, however, after his constant fatigue and nausea he’d been feeling, his sister’s aggravating voice had gotten into his head.
“Don’t you find it weird though, Sam?” Sarah asked, her voice tinny through Sam’s phone as he folded his laundry on his bed.
Sam furrowed his eyebrows at his sister’s sudden question after minutes of comfortable silence, “What do you mean?” Sam glanced over at the Facetime, only to see his sister chewing at her lip in concentration, and almost, anxiety. Slowly, he put the shirt he was folding down and moved closer to the phone resting on the pillow. “...Sarah?”
“Is Bucky there? I don’t want his super-ears to hear this.” Sarah questioned instead of replying, making Sam even more confused.
“No, he’s out getting- Sarah, what? Why are you asking?”
“I’m saying it’s weird: the sickness, cravings, the attitude.” Sam was going to argue and claim he didn’t have an attitude but Sarah continued before he could even get the words out of his mouth, “It reminds me of my symptoms with AJ and Cass. When I was pregnant.”
“Okay…? I don’t understand how that’s relevant. It’s a stomach bug,” Sam huffed, not playing into his sister’s antics and grabbing the previous shirt and resuming his task.
“...I mean, don’t you think that there’s a chance, Sam? It’s been almost two weeks, and it doesn’t seem like a stomach bug.” Sarah spoke, sounding nervous at her own theory.
Sam chuckled in disbelief, “I was born a man, Sarah. That is quite literally impossible.” Sam couldn’t be more baffled at what his sister was implying. There was no way in hell that he could be pregnant, not now, and not ever.
“Maybe not impossible. We thought aliens were impossible, and look how that went. Thanos literally made you disappear into dust, and you think being pregnant is impossible? Especially with that super soldier boyfriend you have clinging to you 24/7 - who knows the extent of that serum?”
That was how Sam found himself sitting on the lid of his toilet, staring at the stick with his phone in his hands, the timer slowly counting down to the reveal. Bucky had gone out to see Leah, oblivious to the fact that Sam had discreetly bought a pregnancy test when it was his turn to get groceries. Sam watched the counting down of the timer, split between wanting it to go quicker or wanting it to slow down and give him a moment to breathe. Hopefully, it was just Sarah getting into his head with insane theories, and it’d be false. There was no way, right? Sam was Captain America, he had important shit to do, and he didn’t have time for a baby at the moment. Did Sam want kids? Yes, but it always seemed like wishful thinking, and he’d never thought he’d be getting pregnant. Had he and Bucky talked about having them? Yes, but in a joking tone, always talking about how Sam didn’t want their kids to inherit Bucky’s asshole personality, and how Bucky didn’t want their kids to inherit Sam’s stubborn refusal to accept help. But that’s all it was: jokes. It was never a ‘sit down and let’s talk about this’ conversation, but Sam wished he could go back in time so that they’d have that conversation to ease his mind. What would the world say - a black, gay, Captain America being pregnant probably wasn’t the ideal thought after Steve had passed the shield off to him. Nevermind the world, what would Bucky say? Would he panic like Sam was now?
Sam’s running thoughts were cut off by the ringing of his phone. He stopped the insistent buzzing immediately, his hands shaking. Cautiously, he stood up on shaky legs as he made his way over to the sink, unsure if he was moving in slow motion or if it was just his mind. Before flipping the test over to see the results, he checked the box; one line for not pregnant, two lines for pregnant. With a shaky breath, Sam flipped the pregnancy test over, but clenched his eyes, afraid of what he’d see. He took a deep breath in for 4, but just as he was about to open his eyes, he heard the door of he and Bucky’s apartment opening with a “Sam! I got the medicine you wanted!” Sam cursed to himself quietly, hopeful that Bucky didn’t hear it, and opened his eyes to look at the test quicker than he wanted to.
Two lines.
Well, fuck. Sam was pregnant.
“Sam?” A muffled Bucky came from the other side of the bathroom door, startling him. Well, fuck! “Are you okay? Did you throw up again?”
Sam jumped at the sudden voice. No, Buck, I’m fine. However, I did find out that the super soldier serum gave you super soldier sperm as well. We’re having a baby, surprise! “Nope, I’m just about finished.” Sam rushed to put the pregnancy test box at the bottom of the trashcan and slipped the pregnancy test in the pocket of his sweatpants, and unlocked the door to see a worried Bucky facing him, “Hi, baby. How did the hangout with Leah go?”
“It was… fine. Are you okay, Sam? You’re sweating.” Bucky frowned, wiping drops of sweat that Sam hadn’t even realised were resting on his forehead.
“I’m fine! I just went for a run, I was about to shower.” Sam lied, moving past Bucky into the bedroom, apologising quickly as his shoulder hit Bucky’s. He could feel the tensions rising in the room as he felt Bucky’s gaze on his back while he was going through their drawers. There was no way this was happening, but of course, with Sam’s luck, it would. How would he tell Sarah she was right? What would Joaquín think? Who would take the mantle of Captain America while he was gone? He rushed to grab the clothes he needed, and went to go to the bathroom, but Bucky blocked the doorway.
“Sam?” Bucky followed Sam’s head as he looked to the side, trying to look away from those big, blue eyes that nobody could resist, “Sweetheart, what’s up? Did something happen?” Bucky asked, reaching out his hands to rest on Sam’s forearms, rubbing them with his thumbs. He was so gentle it made Sam feel sick. Forcefully, Sam stopped trying to avoid his eyes, and seeing Bucky’s worried expression with those open eyes ruined his plan to keep it quiet for even a second.
“I’m pregnant.” Sam blurted.
“Sam, I’m being serious - don’t make a joke out of it. This is the most anxious I’ve ever seen you. Genuinely, what’s the matter?” Bucky pressed on, not faltering at Sam’s response. Frustrated, Sam took Bucky’s hand from his arm and grabbed the test out of his pocket, pushing it into his hand.
“This serious enough for you, Buck?” Sam huffed, crossing his arms as a way to protect himself, he wouldn’t be surprised if Bucky needed a moment to himself. “I guess that stupid serum enhances your whole body.” It wasn’t everyday that Sam could see such a shocked Bucky, but that statement seemed to bring it out of him as his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. The comforting touches on Sam’s arm stopped, and everything in Sam’s body told him to flee at that moment, so he just stepped back and let Bucky’s arms fall to his sides as he continued to speak to fill the uneasy silence, “Sarah said all my sickness and shit looked like symptoms, and she got in my head. And you know, I don’t remember a time where she wasn’t right so I guess I should’ve known. I don’t know what you think, and I don’t know what to think, myself, so we’re kind of in a stalemate here, pal.” Sam rambled, only to see the same expression on Bucky’s face, and it was kind of pissing him off. “Could you say something? Anything?”
“You’re serious?” Sam nodded.”You’re..pregnant?” Sam nodded again. “It’s mine?” Now, that was out of line.
“Who else’s, asshole? I don’t think anybody else could get me in this predicament, and sadly, I love you, so obviously I haven’t been with anybody else.” Sam walked away from the doorway in annoyance, only to feel a flesh hand wrap around his wrist.
“Sam,” Bucky breathed his name like a prayer, “Are you…are you sure? How?” Bucky’s hand around his wrist was probably unconsciously tighter than necessary, but Sam allowed it as he tilted his head side to side.
“I don’t know. I only took one test, I bought more. But right now, it’s looking like a yes. I can take more to confirm.” And that’s exactly what they did. Sam took the other tests with Bucky in the room with him, holding his hand throughout, Sam knew his hand was sweating profusely, but Bucky didn’t care as he kept his hand in his own, murmuring soft words into his ear as they sat on the side of the tub and waited.
“We’ll be okay,” Bucky comforted, almost disbelieving of his own words, and it took everything in Sam not to scoff at him.
“Will we? What are we going to do, Buck? I didn’t even think this was possible.” Sam complained, ignoring the look he was getting and keeping his eye on the timer. “We don’t have the time for this.”
“When will we have time for it?” Sam whipped his head over to Bucky, their eyes quickly making eye contact and having conversations that even they couldn’t hear. Did Bucky…want children?
“You want…Buck. We never talked about…” Sam trailed off as he chewed at his lip, Bucky’s shrug showing nonchalance but Sam could see the underlying tension beneath it.
“And that’s on us, I guess. But, yeah. I have imagined a family with you, but when else would we have the time, Sam? It’s been calmer recently, but we both know that it won’t be for long, so it almost feels like-” The timer went off and Bucky cleared his throat, making his way over to the tests. Sam couldn’t move. Now that Bucky was here, it all suddenly felt real and not like a fever dream. Sam could be pregnant and had no idea what to do about it. Bucky looked at all the tests and nodded his head slowly, “They’re all positive.” He turned to look at Sam, grabbing both of his hands in his own before kneeling down in front of him, “What do you want to do?”
Just seeing Bucky be so genuine touched Sam’s heart and made him teary eyed, “I don’t know. I’m sorry, Bucky. I don’t know how this happened,” Sam looked down at their linked hands and felt a buildup of guilt rising in his stomach. Bucky had been through so much in his life, and now Sam was just adding to the list unnecessarily. “What do you want?”
“Hey, it’s not on you. If anything, I probably should’ve figured and pulled out,” Bucky joked, but Sam recognised that self-deprecating tone, “And it doesn’t matter what I want, it’s your body-”
“Yeah, but it’s our….” Sam cut in, but was unable to say the word, “It’s not your fault. It’s not like either of us should’ve known about the super sperm-”
“Please don’t call it that.”
“-so it’s not on either of us, okay?” Sam said, now looking Bucky right in his eyes to prove his words are true, “Now, like I said, what do you want?”
“I…Sam. I feel like this should be some sort of curse on you, but…if I’m honest, sweetheart, I’d love it. To have a baby with your pretty eyes and your smile? That’s probably the best thing this serum could give me. If you want this, that’s okay. But if you’re not ready, if you’re never ready, that’s okay too. We could adopt, or just never have children and adopt a cat. I’m with you for every step, sweetheart.” Bucky stated, kissing both of Sam’s hands gently and repeatedly.
Sam’s heart could burst. “Could I have time… to think? I’ll give you an answer tomorrow,” Sam flipped his hands to put them on either side of Bucky’s face, cradling his face. Bucky nodded, turning to kiss the inside of Sam’s palm. “Thank you, I love you,” Sam pulled his face up so their lips could meet in a gentle, but powerful, kiss.
“I love you too.”
When Sam woke the next morning, he was calm for a few minutes as he heard and felt the soft breaths of Bucky against his neck, his vibranium arm draped across Sam’s stomach as Sam himself was laying on his back, facing the ceiling. That was until he remembered the circumstances of the evening before. He really was pregnant. He reached out to check the time on his phone, only to be shown 3:00. Way too early to go on a run. Should he even be running while pregnant? What could he do whilst pregnant? He sighed, facing the ceiling and putting his hands over Bucky’s. It was a tough decision he had to make. It was frightening, the fact that he had a whole organism growing inside of him, which shouldn’t even have been possible, and even more scary the fact that it was Bucky’s. Would the baby turn out to have the serum running in their veins, just like Bucky? If they did, how would Bucky and Sam protect them from the world, when they both needed to protect the world themselves?
But it does make Sam wonder… could it really be that bad?
Having a mini them running around, with Bucky’s previously long hair, but with a curly texture like Sam’s. Watching them grow up and say their first words, their first steps, their first time trying solid foods. Maybe they’ll have Bucky’s deep blue eyes and Sam’s gap in their teeth, or even Bucky’s headstrong personality and Sam’s selflessness. It was probably a dream amongst many same-sex couples to have this opportunity to have a baby that was biologically theirs. And now, Sam and Bucky could have that. Bucky could be right, it had been quiet. The level of crime had turned more manageable, so maybe it was a sign that it was the time for them to build their family.
“Tell your mind to be quiet.” Bucky sleepily mumbled, shoving his face further into Sam’s neck, making him giggle and push him slightly away.
“How did you know I was awake?” Sam turned to brush his lips against the super soldier’s forehead, breathing in the scent of the conditioner that definitely didn’t belong to Bucky.
“Your breathing pattern changed.”
“You know that’s scary, right? That no normal person would say that?” Sam spoke, getting a grumble in response. He gasped as he was pulled into Bucky’s space, their foreheads pressing against one another, like they were transferring their love. Sam pulled back to look at his lover’s face, his eyes were still closed as his messy hair spread out across both of their pillows, making Sam smile. His mouth was slightly open, with a bit of drool on the side of his mouth and Sam brought his hand up to wipe it off with his thumb, leaving his hand there on his face. He thought to himself, no, having a mini Bucky wouldn’t be that bad.. “Baby.” Sam gently tapped his face, “Buck?”
“Mhm?” Bucky groaned, opening one eye to look back at Sam. Somehow, just that one eye contained all the love in the world, more than Sam could hold in one cup. Love that was meant for two.
“I think…I think I’d like a… I want to do it.” Sam whispered, like he was afraid that someone would overhear. “I think I’m ready. Are you? Do you want to do this?”
Bucky’s eye closed as he brought his forehead back against Sam’s, “Yeah, Sammy. I was just waiting for you.”
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The next few days, it was difficult for the couple to completely grasp the idea of them simply having a baby, and it was made much more than just an idea when they made it to their doctor’s appointment.
“Fuck you, I lied, it’s all your fault.” Sam spat.
“Yes, fuck me, it’s my fault,” Bucky soothed.
“I hate you and your super soldier sperm.”
“Yes, sweetheart, hate me and my super soldier sperm.” Bucky smiled as he rubbed circles into Sam’s feathers as the man threw up his breakfast, eggs, bacon and all. They were currently in the bathroom near the doctor’s room that was specifically hired for discretion and had apparently helped Pepper all throughout her pregnancy with Morgan. Sam wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he leaned back into Bucky’s touch.
“Whoever called it ‘morning sickness’ is a fuckin’ lie. It’s 3pm and I’m still hacking it like a horse,” Sam rasped out, making Bucky chuckle.
“That doesn’t make sen-“ Sam glared at him, “Okay. Message received. You’re hacking it like a horse.” Bucky laughed quietly as he helped Sam up and led them over to the room doctor’s room, “You ready?”
“Nope. You?” Sam slipped his hand into Bucky’s, squeezing gently.
“Never, let’s go.” They made their way inside, meeting their doctor, Dr. Brown. Sam held his breath as he made his way over to the bed in the middle of the room, Bucky immediately moving to his side.
“Hi, Sam, Bucky. Lovely to be on this journey with you, so let’s get started. So, by looking at the data you’ve given me, you’re in the first trimester, and I’m assuming you’re around 6-8 weeks. We had our scientists analyse both of your blood samples, and the serum surprisingly but sadly unsurprisingly has this ability.” Dr Brown stated, reading over a clipboard in her hands.
“Do you guys have… any idea exactly how?” Bucky questioned anxiously, his hands fidgeting.
Dr Brown flushed before her next words, “Well, it looks like there was so much of the…serum in Sam’s system, that his body began to accommodate accordingly.” Dr Brown said, causing a flush of embarrassment to rise in the couple’s bodies, “Aside from that, today, we’re going to be doing an early ultrasound to see how your body is adapting and changing to accommodate for the new changes,” Brown turned and picked up something from the desk before she turned back to them, “This is a traducer. It’ll create an image of everything going on inside, and show an image of the baby. You’re going to have to lift your shirt for this, and maybe lower your pants a tad.” Sam nodded and followed the instructions, ignoring how his hands were shaking as he did so, “Right, so the screen over here will show the image, and we should see a little black circle with grey within it. That’ll be the baby.” She lifted her left hand, “I’m going to apply this gel, it’ll make the image clear. Sorry, it’s cold.” She explained before rubbing it on Sam’s abs, and Sam tried not to wince at how she wasn’t joking at how cold it really was. Slowly, he turned to see Bucky scrunching his face, as if he was pained that Sam was even going through this. Sam reached out his hand, grabbing Bucky’s arm and squeezing his, communicating that he’s okay. Bucky looked at him and grabbed Sam’s wrist, squeezing back with a nervous smile. “Oh! There they are!” Sam whipped his head around to see the screen, that black dot that Brown had promised right there in big.
“Oh, wow.” Bucky whispered, moving closer to get a good look like he didn’t have 20/20 vision. Sam felt that ‘oh wow’ with everything he had because oh wow. Everything suddenly felt real in that moment - who knew such a small image could convey so much?
“Wow is correct, Mr Barnes. It looks like your body has naturally built itself a uterus for the baby to implant itself in. So far, they look healthy, and nothing seems to be the issue. Any questions?”
Although there was still a lot to comprehend, there, of course, were questions to be asked. Sam cleared his voice before he spoke up, shifting uncomfortably, “Is there any way that you could find out if the.. if they have the serum? Is there a chance they could?”
“I couldn’t be sure, this is all new to us, but it could be possible. We can use your blood sample and see what we can find, if that’s what you want?”
“Yes, it is,” Sam could feel Bucky going rigid within his hand, and tried not to look at him.
“Alright, I’ll see what I can do. But before I do so, would you like to see if we can find a heartbeat?”
“This early?” Sam asked, shocked. It had been around 5 days since he found out he was pregnant, and he hadn’t been able to do a lot of research due to the heap of paperwork and meetings that Bucky had tried to get him to take a break from, but that was pointless on Bucky’s part. Even if Sam was pregnant, he still had a job to do.
“Yup! You’re around 6 weeks, meaning that we could perhaps find baby’s heartbeat, the Stark tech will make it easy, and you’ll be able to hear it through the implanted speakers.” Dr Brown confirmed, tilting her head as if to ask the question once again.
“Yes, please.” Sam replied, glancing over to Bucky who was still staring dumbfoundedly at the screen. Brown grabbed the stethoscope that was clearly enhanced by Stark, making San wonder what else the man created when he was alive. She moved the stethoscope along his stomach, and first it was just a lot of noise, but then it was heard along Sam’s side.
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.
Sam gaped at his stomach. He couldn’t see Bucky’s face, but he assumed he wore the same expression with how Dr Brown smiled as she looked in between them, “I’ll go speak with the scientists.” She announced, handing the stethoscope over to Sam before slipping out, the door clicking behind her. Sam couldn’t believe it, it felt like it was a coma dream at this point. He went to smile up at Bucky, but was met with eyes that couldn’t be more fixed where the stethoscope was placed.
“That was an interesting way to be told that we had sex too much, huh?” Sam tried to joke to ease the tension, but got nothing in response, “Buck?” Sam tilted his head at the man’s expression, almost blank, aside from the slight hint of a frown on his lips. It was a moment before Bucky spoke up.
“You don’t have to do this, Sam.” Bucky spoke blankly, still staring at his stomach, “I know I said I would love it, but that was with the idea that you’d be okay. If this baby is…like me, we won’t know the risks. What it’ll do to your body. Sam, if you get hurt-“
“If they’re like you, the biggest risk is them having your big head, so I think we’re fine,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at the response, and finally looked at Sam.
“You’re not getting it, Sam.” Bucky stepped back, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
“What am I not getting? That your super soldier sperm will beat me up? Trust me, I’d have probably felt worse.”
“Yeah, but, it could be worse than getting hurt. What will I do then? Without you?” Bucky said, a vulnerable expression on his face, but Sam couldn’t help but scoff.
“Bucky, I love you, but you have to be joking, right?” Bucky was shocked at this response as his face shifted back into the blank stage it was in, Sam probably shouldn’t have said that when he was trying to be open. “Baby, I’m Captain America. You’ll always have the risk of losing me, no matter what, and that’s the difficult truth. But, that’s when I’m out fighting for the country, the world. This time, I’ll be right here, fighting for us, for them. You love to think everything’s on you, but it’s not, especially not now. Now, it’s on both of us. So purely and wholly us.” Sam ended softly, pushing down the urge to rest his hand on his stomach, a sudden urge that has been constant ever since he found out about the life inside of him. The room was silent aside from the surprisingly strong fetal heartbeat from the baby, Sam and Bucky falling back into one of the familiar, intense stares that they had become so accustomed to.
“You and your speeches, huh?” Bucky joked, making Sam laugh.
“You know me,” Sam said, not as playful as he meant it as he stared into Bucky’s eyes, waiting for an answer. Bucky blinked, and nodded to himself, as if coming to a conclusion.
“Okay. Okay. But you have to speak to me, okay? You can’t close off like you do, and try to act strong. You don’t have to do that here. Not with me. Say the word, and we can back out. Or if you decide you want to keep it after backing out, I'm with you. Every step of the way. Deal?” Bucky spoke like he’d been waiting to say this, as it bursted out of his mouth like he couldn’t control it.
Sam smiled, “Every step.”
Bucky had convinced Sam to take a few days off of work, Sam figured he was probably trying to convince him to stay home and take it easy so he just played into it for a few days. It was a difficult realisation for both of them, but it was a wonderful one at the same time. Bucky constantly found himself lying on Sam’s stomach when he could, listening to that heartbeat to remind himself that it was all real. Sam found that unbearably endearing, and had been caught tearing up many times at the sight.
“Are you crying again?” Bucky snorted, resting his chin on Sam’s stomach to look up at him as he rested on the headboard of their bed.
“No, shut up, I have mood swings. Continue listening to our b- our spawn’s heartbeat.” Sam sniffled, not catching the way that Bucky’s expression slipped for a split second before he rested his ear back on his stomach. Sam ran his finger through Bucky’s hair, secretly praying that the child would end up having Bucky’s gorgeous brown hair. At the moment, it was cut shorter than it used to be in the past, and Sam constantly begged him to bring the long hair back, only to be told ‘it’s too much hassle.’ “Thank you for this, by the way.”
“For what?” Bucky mumbled, pressing kisses to the currently nonexistent bump on Sam’s stomach.
“I don’t know. You were immediately accepting, it almost seems like you planned this,” Sam teased, ruffling Bucky’s hair and huffing a laugh due to it sticking out in all directions.
“If I could’ve known this was in store, I’m sure I would’ve knocked you up a while ago, sweetheart.” Bucky said in all seriousness, making a shiver run down Sam’s spine.
“You’re weird.” Sam flicked his head after seeing Bucky’s smirk as his hands twitched in response to his words, “Seriously, though. It was a shock and you’ve taken it in stride. I don’t know exactly what’s to come, but I know there’s going to be thousands of fights between us. No matter how bad it gets, thank you. For everything now, and what you will do.”
Bucky didn’t say anything in response, only smiling an affectionate smile and whispering a sweet rest your eyes. Despite Sam wanting to refuse, the soft kisses on his stomach were too soothing, and he drifted into a sleep filled with baby’s breath and white roses.
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Nobody told Sam how hard it would be to contain the secret of pregnancy. He was currently in his office with Joaquín after many arguments with Bucky about whether or not Sam should even be getting involved in Captain America business, only to be met with Sam’s question of and who’s going to do it instead of me? you?, which just escalated the situation even further. Eventually, Sam won with the promise that he wouldn’t push his body more than it could take. However, with all the questions Joaquín was asking about his time off, Sam wished that he’d listened to Bucky’s advice and stayed home, because the truth about his leave had nearly come out way too many times.
“Are you excited for your first mission since your break?” Joaquín exclaimed, walking up to Sam’s desk as he finished looking at the details of the upcoming mission, obviously more excited than the other was about the whole ordeal. Sam couldn’t stop the grin that crept up his face.
“Of course, kid.” Sam chuckled before stopping abruptly, during his head after there was a slight sting at the side of his head. He was hopeful that Joaquín hadn’t noticed, but unluckily for him (or luckily in a way), the falcon was the most attentive and nosy person he knew.
“You okay?” Joaquín asked, tilting his head slightly, like he was analysing the situation. Sam sighed, putting his hand out, trying not to worry his friend.
“Yeah, I just haven’t drank enough water. It’s fine.” Sam waved him off, getting up from his chair, “Let’s get to that mission, huh?”
Sam thought the questions would stop, but in all honesty, he should’ve known better.
“I mean, it was two weeks, Cap. Imagine that - a lone falcon without his Captain? It was like a giant without its beanstalk.” Joaquín complained, changing into the suit in the midsection of the plane with a lot of struggle as it caught on his underlayers.
“That was such a weird simile to use,” Sam chuckled, walking over to help Joaquín with the suit, fixing it so it would fit properly.
“Well, it’s true! I can’t believe a stomach bug took out Captain America.” Joaquín pat Sam’s back in thanks. Sam shook out his bones, not unaware of how rigid they felt after days of unuse.
“I’m fine now, so we can get straight back to how it was.” Something in Sam’s tone must’ve been unconvincing as Joaquín watched him for an extra second before focusing on the ground beneath the plane.
“Jumping now, Sam?”
“Yup, you go ahead, I’m gonna grab the shield,” Sam replied, watching as Joaquín saluted before dropping off of the plane and flying to the new Hydra base that had been founded and were trying to take over. Persistent motherfuckers. Quickly, Sam grabbed the shield and moved over to the open doors to jump out of the doors, but he paused. Just looking at the ground made him feel nauseous, something that had never happened before. Sam had never hesitated. He was born to fly, but now he’d felt sick. He chewed on his lip before jumping, silently willing himself not to throw up as he let himself fall. Thankfully, the gods listened to him, and he was able to contain it during the mission, taking down Hydra members left, right and center. Emphasis on during the mission.
“You okay, Cap? I thought you said you weren’t sick anymore,” Joaquín worried as he flew down to the older man’s side, unsure of what to do as he threw up on the grass outside of the base they had just destroyed. He had noticed Sam’s weird personality throughout the day and on the phone and previously decided he wouldn’t mention it in respect, but now it was getting out of hand.
“I’m not, I’m okay. It was just… the spins and flips. I’m not used to being in action again, Joaquín, I’m fine,” Sam wiped his mouth and took the water that Joaquín was offering, tilting it back into his mouth before spitting it out to cleanse it.
“Should I call Bu-”
“No!” Sam panicked, before clearing his throat at the kid’s shocked impression, “Don’t call Bucky. He’ll…” Be overly worried and try to force Sam’s ass home? “...understand?” Sam tried to save, but he could tell his excuse didn’t work as Joaquín glanced anxiously back at the plane that was waiting for them.
“I don’t know, Sam. That response kind of makes me feel like I should call him,” Joaquín replied, following Sam as he began to make his way over to the plane as an escape. Sam grumbled as he stomped forward, running through his mind for an answer. He chose not to reply until they were seated and buckled into the plane, already only 30 minutes away from home.
Sam watched as Joaquín shuffled in his seat, obviously antsy about Sam’s issues, and Sam really didn’t want to have to deal with Bucky when he got home, he was tired enough. “Joaquín?”
The falcon snapped his head up to Sam immediately, “Yeah, Cap?”
“…Don’t tell Bucky? Please?” Sam sighed, he knew that Joaquín knew how Bucky would be about it, always over dramatic about everything, “I’m asking you this, not as your Captain, but as your friend. Please?”
Joaquín glanced to the side and his finger twitched, “Okay.”
“So, Joaquín called me.” Bucky said nonchalantly as he filled Sam’s bowl with the spaghetti that smelt absolutely amazing; Sam would be thankful if he wasn’t about to get chewed up and spat out by the man who made the dinner. Joaquín was a damn lie. Sam just kept his eyes on his bowl instead of responding, it was easier that way. “Usually, I don’t answer his calls, as they’re mostly about his new conspiracy theories about where Steve is, but today, I thought against it since it was after your first mission. I just knew something was up,” Bucky sat in the chair across Sam, filling up his own bowl. These days, Sam’s palate was the same size as Bucky’s, as even though they still didn’t know if the baby had the serum, it was better to be safe than sorry. “Why didn’t you tell me? You promised.”
“It’s not that big of a deal, Buck. I throw up all the time nowadays.” It’s great to know you have no belief in me, Sam didn’t say, shoveling the devastatingly good pasta in his mouth, having to hold back a moan.
“Sam, you were on a mission. He told me you even looked queasy flying and when has that happened before? Never, Sam.” Sam would hate how much Bucky could read him in that moment if it wasn’t a little ego boosting, “What if you get so tired that you just seize up and you can’t fly?”
“That wouldn’t happen.”
“Yeah, but we don’t know that. I just don’t think it’s good for you, these missions. I know you were trying to rile me up when you said I would take over for you, but I will. I promise you, I will. The stress that comes with it all isn’t healthy for you or them. Who knows how quickly they’re going to grow, with that serum-”
“Which we don’t even know if this b- if they have, Buck! Anything could happen,” Sam rolled his eyes. Dr. Brown had expressed how they were trying their best to know if the baby had the serum by the end of the week, so Sam could see where Bucky was coming, but he only got more frustrated. He wished that the conversation would just stop but Bucky’s gaze said that he had more to speak about.
“And that’s exactly what I’m worried about!” Bucky argued, dropping his utensils loudly, “You literally just said you wouldn’t seize up, but you’re also saying that anything could happen. Here’s the harsh reality; you’re 8 weeks pregnant, Sam. You’re acting like it’s a bit of dust on your shoulder, but this is serious.”
“And you think I don’t know that? I have the daily reminder that this- that they’re inside of me everyday? Do you forget my nausea, my cravings, the headaches? I’m well aware of what’s happening in my body, Bucky,” Sam countered, trying not to let his voice rise, no matter how annoyed he was at the moment. Bucky seemed like he didn’t want to reply as he looked down at his food and began to eat, avoidant of Sam’s gaze. Sam was thankful that the argument had stopped, but maybe he got his hopes up too soon as he heard a mumble from the other side and simply couldn’t let it go. “What was that?”
Bucky snapped his head up, as if shocked that Sam had even heard his soft murmurs from across the table. Repeatedly, he opened and closed his mouth, like he was unsure whether to say it or not. Sam thought Bucky had thought not to say it until he heard a voice say, “Do you even want this?”
Sam felt a flame rise in his chest. “...What? Bucky, you asked me this question at Dr. Brown’s office, and I literally said I was all in. I’m carrying this- them, of course I’m all in.”
Bucky laughed, humourless, “And there it is.” He pushed himself away from the table, going to walk to the living room and grab his jacket.
Sam frowned, “Bucky, what the hell are you even talking about?”
“You really haven’t noticed?” Bucky put his arms through the leather jacket hastily, shaking his head, “You won’t even say the word ‘baby’ when referring to them, Sam.” Bucky began to walk over to the front door, “I’m going on a walk, I’ll be home before it’s too late.” Bucky declared, still cautious not to slam it on his way out.
Sam was confused at the accusation, he had referred to the baby as the baby, right? Whilst finishing his food, Sam scrambled through his mind, trying to find times that he had called the baby ‘baby’, and came out with nothing. It had been 2 weeks since they found out, and he hadn’t said it once. For some time, maybe minutes, maybe hours (it had to be at least an hour as the sunset had darkened to pitch black), Sam sat in that same place at the dining table, letting his thoughts run. Sadly, it wasn’t a complete surprise that he hadn’t said the words - he needed some grace, okay? He’d had a crazy life, and this was probably the most shocking to him, having a baby himself. It made him terrified for what’s to come, and he knew to an extent that Bucky was right, but he needed time - time to let his life be his life before he completely focused on the baby. In no time, he’d be relying on Bucky to help him with everything, and he’d be feeling the true effects of pregnancy. Naturally, Sam wasn’t used to being dependent, he had always taken care of other people, he wasn’t the one to be taken care of. Bucky had scolded him for it, even before pregnancy, constantly telling him to accept help, but it was difficult when Sam previously never had that option. However, bile rose in his throat at the thought of Bucky thinking that Sam wasn’t 100% in it with him, when he was. Ever since finding out, Sam’s dreams had been filled with flowers and an image of what the future would look like with the baby. At that thought, he stood up, grabbed the dishes and began washing them in the kitchen, so focused that 30 minutes later, he didn’t hear the soft click of the door and the steps behind him. Strong arms wrapped around his middle, hovering like they were unaware if they were allowed to touch. Sam stopped washing the dishes to dry his hands and pressed his hands down on top of Bucky’s.
“You really need to be more aware of your surroundings. I could’ve been a thief,” Bucky mumbled, turning his head into Sam’s neck, and pressing gentle kisses there.
“Hi, baby.” Sam replied, moved back to lean into Bucky’s body, putting a comforting pressure on his back.
“Hi, sweetheart. You didn’t have to wash up, I was going to when I got home,” Bucky stepped back, pulling Sam away from the kitchen sink, “Why don’t we go to the couch? Talk?” Sam nodded, allowing himself to be pulled away to the living room, and found his space on the couch. They looked at each other for a couple of moments before Bucky opened his mouth, “I’m sorry. I was a dickhead.”
“Well you said it, not me,” Sam sniped quickly, making Bucky breathe out a laugh. Gently, he reached out and held both of Bucky’s hands, “But, I understand what you’re saying. Sure, there were other ways you could’ve come about it, but I’m hearing you.” Sam addressed, feeling as Bucky’s hands got more stiff in his hands, “And I’m not just saying it to ease the argument, I’m truly listening and taking it in. I know I never called them a baby, and that’s on me. It wasn’t consciously, and I wasn’t aware of how it’d make you feel. I guess it was just weird to acknowledge that I truly had life inside of me, and it wasn’t just a weird alternate reality. I’m sorry, too.” Sam watched as Bucky physically released tension from his body, releasing one of his hands to rest on Sam’s back.
“You have nothing to apologise for-”
“I do, Buck. You don’t have to act like I’m perfect,” Sam scolded, shaking his head at Bucky’s grin.
“Oh, but, you are,” Bucky complimented, truthful in his words, “But, I’m glad you told me. I was getting nervous that you were just doing this…I don’t know, to fill out that role of family. You know that if you were my only family, that would be enough, right?” Sam whispered a soft ‘I know’, leaning over to kiss the tip of Bucky’s nose before burrowing himself into the couch pillows. “Good. The…the work. Did you have a thought about that too while I was gone?” Bucky asked anxiously, chewing his lip.
Sam reached over to pull his bottom lip from his teeth before he made it bleed, “Yeah, I did. I see where you’re coming from, I really do. I know you’re worried and all, but, Buck, it’s not going to be long before I won’t be able to be as independent as I am now, and I can’t just quit on our country, you know that. I still want time to be active and work. I want time to myself before I dedicate it all to our little one, our baby.” Sam explained, noticing how the other shivered at the words ‘our baby’ came out of his mouth. “I know I’m 2 months along, but I’m not bedridden. We’ve, hopefully, still got another 7. We don’t necessarily need to rush into everything.”
Bucky nodded, but tilted his head side to side, Sam immediately knowing he still had an issue with it, “I know I’ve been coming on strong, and I probably was doing a lot with what I was telling you to do. But, you don’t think it’s risky? Going out there? I just want you two to be safe,” Bucky looked off to the side, still awkward about admitting his feelings, but Sam admired how he always opened up to Sam, even when he didn’t want to. But, it was getting late, and he was tired of all the emotions.
“Hey, how about we finish this conversation tomorrow? With fresh minds?” Sam suggested, reaching out and turning Bucky’s chin so they’d look at each other. Bucky nodded, and Sam smiled, “Come here.” They leaned in, their lips meeting in a kiss. Sam could hear Bucky breathe a relieved smile and smirked to himself. Bucky wrapped his arms around Sam’s middle, while Sam moved his to scratch gently at Bucky’s head, getting a soft moan in response. It lasted for a few moments before Sam pulled away after Bucky’s tongue tried to slip into his mouth, not wanting it to go too far. “Not on my couch we’re not. Wipe that pout off your face,” Sam said, breathless. Bucky’s pupils were dilated, and his lips were swollen from the gentle bites that Sam left there. He looked adorable. Running his fingers through Bucky’s hair and pulling him close to his chest, Sam cleared his throat as he prepared to speak, “I do have one more thing though,” Sam announced, getting no response so he continued, “I want to start telling people. It’ll be difficult at work, and I want our family to know.”
Shifting, Bucky looked over at Sam, “Yeah, we can do that.”
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Eventually, Sam and Bucky came to a middle ground of Sam only going on the field when it was the smallest of risks, or if it was absolutely necessary. At the moment, though, they were in Louisiana with their family, sitting down and laughing as AJ and Cass played out by the docks.
“You boys hungry?” Sarah asked, holding a plate of hotdogs in her hand. Usually, Sam would never refuse a hotdog from Sarah as she made a mean combo, but the thought of the mushy bread mixing with all those ingredients…the simple thought made him sick. He shook his head as Bucky accepted excitedly, grabbing a hotdog off the plate and licking his lips. Closing his eyes, Sam tried to take deep breaths to calm the churning in his stomach, but it just wafted the air of the food into his nose. Nope.
“I’m going to go…get my phone. I left it inside,” Sam abruptly announced, not listening to Bucky’s questions of if he was okay, and ignoring Sarah’s suspicious look. He rushed inside to the bathroom, throwing up all the contents of his meals that day, his head pounding.
“I thought you said you weren’t sick anymore.” A voice came from behind Sam, and he turned around to see Sarah with a glass of water in her hands. Smiling, she moved over to sit by Sam on the floor, handing him the glass without a word. Quietly, Sam thanked her and downed the water almost instantly. There was a comfortable silence amongst the two of them, Sarah resting her head on his shoulder and caressing circles into his palm like she used to do when she was younger. “So, what’s up? Why are you still throwing up?”
Sam took a deep breath in before speaking, “Would you believe me if I told you that you were right?”
“I mean, I typically am. But, what about this time?” Sarah asked, making Sam shift so that she’d lift her head up and look at him. He gave her a look that seemed to communicate everything that she needed - her jaw dropped, and her eyes already looked glassy at the realisation.
“You’re pregnant?” Sarah sniffed, getting a large grin from Sam as an answer. Almost pouncing, she wrapped her arms around his neck and he could feel a wetness on his shoulder. “Oh, Sam. I’m so happy for you,” Sarah congratulated, then paused as she moved away so quickly that Sam was surprised she didn’t get whiplash, “We’re happy right? We want it?”
“Yes, we’re happy. I’m so happy, Sarah.” Sam pulled her back into his arms, feeling the tears run down the side of his face. Time passed, but they continued to sit there, unmoving, and in each other’s arms. Sam really was thankful for everything Bucky had been doing, but he truly needed this embrace from Sarah, his forever loud mind quietening down just for that moment. It was a while until Sarah pulled away, a sour expression on her face.
“I oughta give Buck a scolding for knocking you up out of wedlock,” Sarah frowned, Sam bursting out in laughter at her side, “How far along are you? Are you showing yet?”
“10 weeks, and no, not yet. I’ve mostly been gaining muscle mass since the baby.”
“You’re almost in your second trimester? And you didn’t tell me sooner?” Sarah asked bewildered, smacking Sam’s arm softly, “I better at least be the first person you told.”
Sam rolled his eyes at his sister’s antics, “Yes, I know it’s late but we didn’t know how to announce it, and yes, are the first person to know.”
Sarah smiled, not too wide as she fixed her next words, “Is the baby…you know. Serum’d up?”
Sam looked away from her gaze, thinking about the call they got from Dr. Brown a few days beforehand. The pair had been on a walk when she called, confirming that the baby was to have the serum and have all the attributes that came along with it. Let’s just say it was a difficult day for the both of them, but mostly Bucky. “...yup. So far, the pregnancy hasn’t differed from what any other person would experience, so it’s okay, I guess.”
Sarah looked like she wanted to say something about it but held her peace, resorting to, “The kicks you’re going to get are going to be killer.”
“Holy shit, I didn’t think that far.”
The siblings stayed on the floor for a few more minutes before exiting, seeing the boys wrestling with Bucky on the floor. Sarah waited for the three to notice them and gave them a look that made them immediately get up. Bucky jogged his way over to Sam, giving him a peck on his lips.
“Everything alright? You guys were gone for a while,” Bucky pointed out, murmuring against Sam’s lips.
Sam pecked his lips again before interlocking their hands, “Everything’s great. Care to go on a walk?”
“Of course.” Swinging their hands, the two made their way down to the boat, sitting on the dock beside it. The sky was slowly getting more pink as the sun began to fall, the birds singing as they made their way to their nests.
“I told Sarah. About the baby,” Sam admitted, resting his hands on his thighs in front of his stomach.
“I figured. It went well by the looks of it, she hasn’t stopped kissing the boys on their cheeks since you came back. Gonna tell them too?” Bucky leaned to the side, his shoulder so it would brush against Sam’s.
“Nah, I asked Sarah to do it when we’re gone. I’m sorry you couldn’t be there when I told her,” Sam apologised, “But that’s why I brought you here. So we could tell them-” He nodded to the boat, “together.”
It took Bucky a moment to process what Sam was hinting at, and when he did - “Sam, I can’t-”
“You can. Stay,” Sam looked into Bucky’s eyes, rushing to interlock their pinkies so Bucky wouldn’t get up, “Please.”
Bucky hesitated, but answered with a small “Okay.”
They explained the whole thing to Sam’s parents until the stars listened in to their secret as well.
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The day they told Joaquín, neither Sam or Bucky were at work. Bucky had an approved tolerance for the guy, but god, he really knew how to ruin plans. Sam was reading some documents for the issue of someone breaking into houses and people going missing all over New York City, suspected to have some sort of special abilities. He was at his desk in their bedroom, and Bucky was reading a book, spread across their bed. It had been a lazy day, them not going out, and Sam feeling too tired to get up for his morning run. The whole day had almost been a breeze. Almost.
Bucky paused his reading, sitting up immediately. Glancing at Sam, he got up to leave the room cautiously, trying not to get caught.
“Where are you going?” Sam questioned, not looking up from the papers in front of him.
“Just gonna get a snack, sweetheart,” Bucky lied swiftly, moving out of the bedroom. He moved down the hallway, his footsteps light as he went to one of their secret places to store their guns, typing the code in and grabbing the first gun he could. Silently, he moved behind the front door, letting it open before tackling the intruder to the ground. Uncaring of the glass that suddenly smashed in the intruder’s hand, he placed his knee on top of their back and held the gun behind their head. They were quite muscular and tried to squirm underneath him, but they were no match for Bucky’s strength. Panicking, they tried to move from face down into the ground, but Bucky pressed their face into the ground with his hand (his right hand. He isn’t crazy).
“What the fuck?!” Sam exclaimed, running into the room with a pen wielded like a weapon (which, in his defense, he still could probably do a lot with). At Sam’s presence, Bucky’s grip slipped, allowing the person beneath him to turn their head to the side.
“Bucky! Fuck, it’s me!” The voice groaned, familiar, and Sam’s eyes widened in recognition.
“Oh my God, Bucky, get up!” Sam rushed over, kneeling to pull Bucky away from the figure, only to reveal Joaquín’s frightened face beneath him. Oh, well. At least it wasn’t an intruder. Sam slowly pulled Joaquín up in a sitting position, analysing the cuts in his hands and the bruises that were blooming on his face, “What the hell.. what happened?”
Joaquín glanced at Bucky before looking away, “I should’ve called. I wanted to see you guys, it’s been a while since Sam quit fieldwork but I wanted it to be a surprise. I brought beers,” Joaquín chuckled awkwardly as he held up the hand that Sam wasn’t fussing with. “I probably should’ve warned before going into the White Wolf and Captain America’s apartment unannounced.”
Sam tutted, getting up to get the first aid kit, leaving Bucky and Joaquín alone once again. The air was awkward, and they could both hear Sam rummaging around for the first aid kit. The awkwardness was palpable, until Joaquín began picking at the leftover glass in his hand.
“Hey, no, stop,” Bucky scooted closer, taking Joaquín’s hands and bringing them apart so he’d stop messing with them. If you’d have told Bucky a few years ago that he’d be so comfortable with touching someone that wasn’t Sam, he probably would’ve said nothing and assumed that you were the stupidest person in the world. Even then, his touch with Sam was limited to a hand on the shoulder or assistance in a fight. He never believed that he could be normal like this again, physical contact with other people used to be so difficult, but the more time he spent with Sam, and in therapy, it began to ease off him naturally, like anyone else, although it was still stilted, but that could be mistaken as someone who just didn’t enjoy physical touch, not someone who had been a captive of Hydra for decades. However, Joaquín was kind of an extension of Sam, in a way, and the way Sam was near parental towards the kid rubbed off onto Bucky, believe it or not. Also, Bucky, sadly, had found Joaquín very endearing and entertaining. “Don’t touch it until Sam cleans it. You might push the glass further in there. Isn’t that basic training, baby falcon?”
Joaquín snorted but listened to Bucky’s advice, “I’ve worked with all types of tech and I’ve done the same thing. I’ll be fine, White Wolf.”
“With the way you said that, I wouldn’t be surprised if Sam finds a whole new mini Redwing in there.” Bucky teased, pausing when he saw the younger man wince as he shifted on the floor into a more comfortable position. “Hurts?”
Joaquín’s expression faltered for a split second and Bucky easily saw it before he smiled at Bucky, “Nothing I can’t take.” His drive was so similar to Sam’s. A falcon can’t go without its dedication, Bucky guesses.
“I’m sorry, though. I heard a noise and panicked.”
“No, no. I should’ve known, I’m sorry. I’m just suffering the consequences of my actions,” Joaquín accepted, shrugging like it didn’t fall in Bucky in any way. Taking the blame even when it’s not his fault, he was so powerfully kind-hearted like Sam, it made Bucky positively sick.
“Why did you come over?” Bucky watched Joaquín flush at the question, embarrassed.
“I don’t know. I missed you guys, I guess. The field has been lonely without you guys on duty, and I know you retired and all, but I was bored, I wanted to hang out. Even when you hated me, we still got drinks after a mission. I thought it would be a nice throwback.” Joaquín admitted under his breath, like he didn’t want Bucky to hear, but he knew he would.
“I didn’t hate you, kid. I just thought you were annoying. But that hasn’t changed.”
“Ha ha.”
“For what it's worth though, your stealth has gotten much better since the last time we trained. You’re much quieter, I couldn’t even recognise the steps as yours.” Bucky complimented, one that Sam would call stalkerish but Joaquin’s face brightened at the comment, making Bucky smile a small smile.
“Really? I’d been practicing what you taught me for months on end, Sam will tell you. One day, I’m gonna make sure you don’t hear me at all.” Joaquín spoke, making Bucky laugh. Bucky wondered why the man sitting across from him had stopped laughing, a confused expression on his face as he looked above Bucky’s head. Turning, Bucky saw Sam stood watching them with reddish eyes and the kit in hand. He knew that look.
“You gonna stand there and let our falcon bleed out?” Bucky said, causing Sam to snap out of his stupor and sit with them on the floor. Gently, Sam began to wipe the blood around the cuts in Joaquín’s hand.
“Cap, you know I can do it myself, right?” Joaquín asked, not necessarily annoyed, but rather confused about Sam’s sudden attentiveness.
“I know,” Sam replied, making no sign of moving away. Joaquín just sighed and made conversation with Bucky about what the field was like without Sam, expressive but his hands didn’t move one bit. They exchanged jokes and teases, but Sam was silent throughout the entire conversation, that was, until there were sniffles, quiet but noticeable, coming from Sam’s side of the floor. One head whipped over, an expression full of shock, and the other head slowly side-eyed Sam with an expectant (but loving) gaze.
“Are you crying?” Joaquín gaped at Sam, who was trying to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand, whilst also trying to clean the wounds on his hand. It took everything in Bucky not to smirk at that moment.
“No, I- No. Just got something in my eye, that’s all,” Sam mumbled, grabbing the tweezers to take the glass fragments out of Joaquín’s hand. Joaquín looked up at Bucky in bewilderment, a questioning expression on his face, and Bucky couldn’t stop the smile that crept up on his face as he shrugged in return. Sam made quick work of taking care of Joaquín’s wounds, making sure that the bandages were wrapped tightly and securely, Bucky making jokes that the bandages would be welded into his hand forever.
“Thank you, Sam. And I’m sorry, again,” Joaquín apologised, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, “I’ll get out of you guys’ hair. Next time I come over, I’ll call.” Slowly, he tried to get up without using his hands but a hand wrapped around his wrist.
“Hey, we can still hang out for a few minutes, right? Get off the floor and go to the living room?” Sam offered, looking over at Bucky with a pleading look on his face, and Bucky folded immediately and nodded. He probably would’ve said yes even if Sam didn’t make that face.
“Really? I’ll get the drinks!” Joaquín immediately went to go to the fridge, unknowing that he’d find nothing there. Groaning, Bucky pushed himself up, reaching his hand out to lift Sam up as well.
“Your bones aching, old man?” Sam bumped his shoulder against Bucky’s as they made their way over to the kitchen, slowly but surely.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You okay? Why were you crying?” Bucky rested his hand against Sam’s lower back, leading him to the couch. It wasn’t unusual that Sam would cry, which would be a shock before the whole ordeal, but this time, it seemed unprovoked. They sat down, Bucky’s arm moving up to rest around his shoulders.
“I…I don’t know. I guess seeing you with him-”
“You guys didn’t have any beer so I just poured us all some orange juice, you have a lot of that, by the way,” Joaquín set out the drinks in front of them on the table, before sitting on the loveseat to the left of the couch, closest to Bucky. Sam had cried his eyes out a week beforehand due to how badly he craved orange juice, begging Bucky to get more (even though they already had 4 jugs in the fridge, and Bucky already was getting changed to get it).
“I can’t drink it, so-” Sam paused, realising his words. Bucky watched Joaquín raise an eyebrow and cleared his throat.
“He’s sick, remember? So, he’s on a break.” Bucky saved and Joaquín nodded in understandance.
“I admire that. I couldn’t, personally, not right now at least.” Joaquín took a swig of his orange juice, “I feel like I need a beer after every tough mission. Helps ease the mind, you know?”
Bucky saw Sam’s expression change into one more caring, his eyes sparkling in a gentle and fragile way as he looked at Joaquín, “How has it been? Without me?”
“Oh, it’s been fine, but not as fun without Captain America, obviously.” Joaquín smiled widely, even looking at Bucky and saying, “And you, if you believe me. The missions haven’t been too difficult, but I still get excited when they’re small enough that you can come.” Joaquín said, delving into a story of a mission where a ‘cat’ had powers. Bucky was half listening as he looked between Joaquín and Sam, Sam’s face showing a hint of reminiscence as the kid began to get more expressive with his hands, moving them around to show how the cat was moving like a karate kid. Sometimes, Bucky did feel guilt for taking Sam out of the fieldwork, seeing how much he loved it, but he remembers it’s out of the good of his heart and that guilt sinks (mostly). “So, how have you guys been? Are you getting better?”
“Yeah, in a way, I am. We’ve been good, though. Buck’s been reading, and I’ve been getting into my paperwork. You heard about the break-ins and missing people? There’s been 5 all over the city with the same strategies involved,” Sam mentioned, leaning forward and getting that look when he’s really passionate about something. Bucky had oftentimes been on the other end of that look.
“I’ve heard of it, yeah. Scary, right? We’ll probably be called on it sooner or later.” Bucky could feel Sam stiffen beside him. Fieldwork had still been a tricky topic between them, Bucky getting easily frustrated when Sam doesn’t realise that he is not expendable in any way, especially now while he’s more than just Sam. “But back to your sickness, it’s lasted a while. I mean, it’s been like 6 weeks since your stomach bug, and you’re still throwing up. The media has been spewing all sorts of shit about it, saying that you’re not dedicated to the job, and I swear they don’t even believe what they preach. Did you see the doctor?”
“Ignore the media. But, yeah, we did, and…” Sam looked over at Bucky, their eyes having a silent conversation. It had been long enough and the kid deserved to know. Bucky tried to make his eyes communicate that, and Sam turned back to Joaquín, “We actually do have something to tell you, J.”
Bucky could almost hear the guy’s heart speed up, “Me?”
“Yeah, you. Who else?” Bucky joked to calm the guy.
“I’m nervous. This is like getting told off by my parents,” Joaquín mentioned anxiously, and just the slight mention of being parents made Bucky’s heart clench in his chest.
“I mean, it does have something to do with…parenting, I guess.” Sam said, leaning his elbow forward so they could rest them on his thighs and put his chin on top of his hand, “We’re gonna have a baby.”
Silence.
And then-
“What?” Joaquín gasped, “Like, a surrogate?”
“Well…not exactly. I’m pregnant,” Sam announced, leading Joaquín’s jaw to drop in a comical way. Bucky guessed there was no other appropriate reaction.
“Huh? Bu- Wh- How?!” Joaquín stuttered, eyes wide and eyebrows scrunched up like he couldn’t believe his ears.
“The how…well, without going into too much detail, this guy’s-” Sam pointed his thumb over to Bucky, “-serum had that ability. Nobody could’ve known.”
“I- Wow, okay! Congratulations!” Joaquín hopped up, opening his arms wide, which Sam responded to immediately as he stood up and wrapped his arms around Joaquín. They stood there for a moment before Joaquín opened his eyes, and held out his arm towards Bucky, “I know you hate physical touch and that, but….humour me?” Joaquín’s eyes were open, like Bucky could reject if he wanted to, but Bucky wanted to take this opportunity. Brushing his legs like there was dust on them, Bucky stood up and walked into the falcon’s awaiting arms, and winded his arms around the pair, immediately feeling their arms around him. Joaquín began to babble about how he’d be such a good role model for the child, and about what gender he thought would be perfect for them. As he rambled, Bucky turned to look at Sam over his shoulder, only to see him already staring. He smiled a private smile, gorgeous and valuable, and Bucky didn’t stop the smile that came from his own mouth. Joaquín pulled away, a big grin on his face that immediately fell when he looked at his phone.
“Ugh, I have to go. Duty calls,” He sighed, grabbing his cup to finish the orange juice, and make his way over to the door as the couple followed closely around it. He put his hand on the handle before turning around, “We’ll talk more about this?”
“Of course, kid,” Sam smiled, and Joaquín shook his head.
“Why do you guys call me kid? You’re only like a decade and a bit older than me, since you blipped and I didn’t.”
“I’m 80 years older than you, and Sam’s your captain. We have every right to call you kid, kid,” Bucky retorted, causing Joaquín to accept failure and just say his goodbyes, sneaking one more hug from the two of them. He was practically radiating with happiness when he walked out of the door, leaving Sam and Bucky staring at the door behind him.
“He’s so much like you.” Bucky admitted, pulling them away from the door and leading them back to the bedroom.
“Me? I think he’s like you, sometimes.”
“Nah, he’s got your drive, your motivation. And your big brown eyes, obviously,” Bucky laughed, Sam snorting as he shook his head.
“He has our combined stubbornness for sure, and your strong capability to be annoying,” Sam interlocked their fingers as he pushed the bedroom door open, flopping them both on their backs on the bed to look at the ceiling. Bucky was about to grab his book, but Sam continued, “I feel that he’s almost like our first child, kind of. Even if he’s in his late 20s, sometimes I feel like we’re not unlike his parents. That’s why I was crying earlier, just seeing you guys talk pulled the strings on my heart.”
Bucky hummed as a response, “I get that. Are you going to miss that feeling when the baby’s born?”
Sam turned his head to the side, looking at Bucky, “I don’t think that feeling’s ever going to leave.”
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Sam woke up in the middle of the night craving a wad of ice cream. Quietly, he moved out of Bucky’s arms, trying not to disturb the man, and hopped out of bed. He tiptoed to the kitchen and took all 3 ice cream tubs out of the freezer, all different flavors, unsure of which one to eat. He grabbed a spoon and brought all the tubs to the dining table, switching between them frequently. Pregnancy had been the strangest experience of Sam’s life, he was nearing the end of his first trimester at 11 weeks and it had been intense. The constant sickness and mood swings were difficult to navigate at the start, but he was really getting the hang of it. Bucky had been nothing but supportive throughout the whole process, and Sam was going to make sure that by the end of all this, Bucky would get the date of a lifetime. They’d been through a lot of ups and downs, and there were many more to come, but Sam thought they were doing good so far, and Sam couldn’t wait for what was to come. He wondered what they’d be like with a newborn.
“Sam?” Bucky yawned, walking up in sweatpants and a black tshirt. He stretched as he kissed the back of Sam’s head and pulled a chair to sit beside him, “What are you doing up?”
“Oh, hey baby. My midnight cravings kicked in, you want some. I won’t give you my spoon because I just know you’re going to eat it all,” Sam huffed, getting up to go to the kitchen to look for a spoon. They’d better start looking at utensils for the baby soon. Or maybe a bigger house. There was no way that they’d be able to raise a whole ass super soldier baby in such a small apartment, he should probably mention that to Bucky. “We have strawberry, chocolate and bubblegum. I’m not really feeling the strawberry, so you can go ham on that.”
“Uh…Sweetheart?” Sam turned to see Bucky’s eyes flickering between his stomach and his face.
“Yes…? Are those flavors not good enough? Because I did tell you to get vanilla,” Sam mentioned, bringing the spoon over to the table. He went to sit down but Bucky stopped him, his hands on either side of his waist and pulled him in front of his chair. “Bucky, what-”
“Has that…always been like that?” Bucky didn’t take his eyes off his stomach, and Sam raised an eyebrow.
“What are you talking about?” Sam laughed, confused. Bucky finally looked up at him, a twinkle in his eye, and Sam tried not to laugh at his serious case of bedhead.
“Sweetheart, we’ve been so focused on everything else, we didn’t notice. You’re showing,” Bucky pressed a kiss to his stomach, and Sam stared at him with his mouth in an ‘o’ shape. Bucky was right, his stomach was slightly larger than it had been previously, and there was a small bump where his abs used to be more prominent. It was small, but it was definitely something.
“Oh. Wow, okay,” Sam rested his hands on his stomach, in disbelief that he was actually growing. Bucky moved Sam between his legs, and wrapped his arms around his back so he could rest his ear over Sam’s hands - he could probably hear the faint heartbeat of their baby with his enhanced hearing and all, but Sam couldn’t find it in himself to feel jealous. He was showing! Bucky whispered to his stomach for around 5 minutes before Sam complained that his feet were beginning to ache and the ice cream would melt. Apologising, Bucky let go of him, and began eating the strawberry ice cream with the spoon Sam brought him. “I can tell you’re trying to be nonchalant about it, and it’s not working. Your smile is showing even underneath all that ice cream,” Sam teased and Bucky stuck his tongue out, mouth filled with pink ice cream. “You’re lucky that didn’t make me sick, or else I would’ve thrown up and ruined the whole vibe.” Sam said before digging into the ice cream himself, he could feel the buzziness in his chest from the new knowledge, and also couldn’t stop his smile from coming off his face. Sticking a spoonful of bubblegum and chocolate in his mouth - “Ew, Sam. That’s a terrible combination.” - Sam jutted his head out to the strawberry and bubblegum tubs side by side, “What do you think they’re going to be? The baby, I mean. A girl or a boy?”
“I don’t care. I’ll love them either way.”
“Baby.”
“Okay, fine, a girl. I imagine her with curly hair like Becca when she was younger, and brown eyes like you.” Bucky emphasised his opinion by scooping a large chunk of the strawberry and shoving it into his mouth.
“Hm. Sarah and the boys think it’s going to be another boy. I don’t know, though, having a baby girl in the family would be nice.” Sam agreed, taking a bite of the chocolate.
“And you? What do you think?”
“I don’t know yet. When they start to move and harass me, that’s when I’ll know, I think.” Sam rested a hand on his stomach and took a spoonful of both bubblegum and strawberry, letting the flavors mix in his mouth. “You are right, though. I’ll love them either way.” They spent the rest of that night finishing the ice cream and talking about everything and nothing.