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Not being able to sleep was something Kris was used to by this point.
If they were honest, locking up the Soul didn’t make sleeping any easier, but it did at least give them some peace of mind. A few short hours where they could feel in control, even if they weren’t doing anything besides sitting in the dark with their own thoughts. Still, though, they lied awake on their side with their eyes closed, on top of the covers, not having bothered to pull them aside.
Plink.
A rock hitting the window. Kris’ mind immediately went to Susie—the only person who they’d imagine would want to talk to them in the middle of the night. Even on the nights that she wasn’t sleeping over, it was normal for her to end up getting bored of her own room and sneaking back to Kris’ these days.
Plink, again.
Then again, Susie wasn’t one to ask for permission. If she wanted to get into Kris’ room, she’d have skipped the fanfare and climbed straight up to the purposefully unlocked window.
Plink.
Kris threw their legs over the edge of the bed and walked over to the window—pushing the thin, sheer curtains to the side.
It wasn’t Susie.
It was Noelle.
Pushing the window up and open, Kris stuck their head out to get a better view of her. It was slightly breezy that night, and her long hair and white knee-length nightgown were blowing gently in the wind. She had an oversized black zip-up thrown over the top of her dress, clearly not a matching set, and probably not from her own closet.
Noelle waved up at Kris with a shy, tired smile on her face. Two more pebbles were sitting in her other upturned hand.
“Noelle?” Kris said, raising their voice a little so she could hear them from a floor above.
“…Can I come in?” She asked, straight to the point. Wordlessly, Kris shut the window and headed for the front door. As they left their room, they threw an extra shirt over the Soul’s cage.
Noelle was already there by the time they got downstairs.
The two of them said nothing as they headed back to Kris’ room, Kris following slightly behind Noelle as she made her way with knowing steps. It was almost strange—watching her walk around in this house. The last time Kris had seen the back of Noelle’s head in their hallway, she was still shorter than them. Now, she stood about a full head taller.
Reaching Kris’ room, Noelle opened the door for herself, and Kris shut it behind them both.
Noelle sat herself on the edge of Kris’ bed, and Kris sat themself cross-legged against their pillows and headboard.
“Kris.”
“Noelle.”
“Sorry, I, um… I know it’s late, but… I wanted. To talk to you,” she said, voice quiet and unsure of herself. “Alone,” she added on at the end.
“It’s fine. You could’ve just broken in if you wanted to,” they said, completely deadpan.
“I don’t know how to do that!”
“The window’s unlocked. You could just climb right up the tree.”
When the two of them were kids, Kris used to sneak Noelle back into her own room by climbing the nearby trees. She always needed their help to climb up, but she was big enough now that Kris was sure she could do it on her own.
“Har, har. Sure, I’ll remember that for next time.”
…
The silence that followed was… uncomfortable.
What are you doing here, Kris wanted to say, but the words did not surface. Instead they stared at the side of Noelle’s face while she looked down at her lap and twiddled her thumbs.
This is weird.
Kris had no idea where they and Noelle even stood with one another anymore. They’d been speaking to each other a lot more lately—they’d probably spoken more sentences to each other the last week or so then they had in multiple years (thanks to that thing, in part, but also thanks to Susie). At least before all this they could ignore each other and Kris could pretend to be okay with that. But now? No clue. Since when were they back on ‘sneaking out to hang out in the middle of the night’ terms?
“Kris—” Noelle started, cutting herself off. She brought one hand up to tug at a lock of her own hair. “I…”
Kris waited.
…
“I, um… I’m not sure how to say this.”
…
They waited some more. Noelle twirled her hair.
…
“You…you like her too, don’t you?”
Oh.
…
Kris didn’t bother with clarifying who she was talking about.
“...I’m right, aren’t I?” she continued.
…
“...And what if you are?” was all they could think to say. Their tone came off with a little more bite than they meant it to.
Yes, god, they liked Susie. They wanted to say something to the tune of well, who doesn’t like Susie? But that almost felt like they were cheapening their feelings. Their feelings for Susie weren’t nothing.
Susie was, no is… everything.
It was hard to hide just how much they felt towards her. Kris had always been quiet, and weird, and hard to read, but when you start spending every day with someone who bullied you for over a year—people are bound to raise eyebrows. And the thing with Noelle was that she notices. She notices a lot of things—how observant and intelligent she is scared Kris at times. Not even their own mother noticed when their voice didn’t sound right coming out of their mouth—but Noelle did.
It’s only natural she’d figure it out, they supposed, even with how much they’ve tried to suppress it.
“I… don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Kris asked, their voice low.
Kris didn’t know either, to be fair. They couldn’t blame Noelle for not knowing what to do with this information.
“I don’t, okay?!” Noelle blurted, her tone raising up higher. “I just—I… I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to hear you say it.”
…
“It… it doesn’t matter,” Kris told her in response.
“What doesn’t matter?” Noelle finally turned her head, meeting Kris’ gaze. Her soft brown eyes glistened in the moonlight.
“That I like her,” Kris reiterated.
“Doesn’t it?”
“It doesn’t.”
It does matter. It matters so incredibly much to Kris, actually. But looking Noelle straight in the eyes… maybe, just maybe…
…
They could swallow it all down.
“Why not?” Noelle asked, her voice sounding almost upset.
“Because you like her.”
“I, ah… I do. Like her. But… why does that matter more?”
“Because she likes you too.”
“She—!” Noelle’s face immediately went red. “You’re just messing with me!”
“I’m serious.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I do.”
“What’s to say she doesn’t like you instead?!”
“She’s… my friend,” they struggled to say. Not that it wasn’t true, but it felt almost incorrect to call them simply friends. “That’s all.”
They weren’t lying to Noelle when they said this. As much as Kris hopelessly, desperately wished that it was more than that, it just… wasn’t. But how could they explain it to Noelle? Explain how they’ve forged a strange sort of warrior’s bond over their shared experiences in another world where they battle monsters and save the world? That in just a few days, the two of them have managed to see each other laid bare—at their highest and lowest moments?
“That’s all? Kris, have you seen the two of you?”
“It’d be hard to not have,” they replied flatly.
“You two are so weird! In a not just friendly way! Who hangs out in dark school closets alone with someone they just barely got to know?! You two go on dates for crying out loud!” Noelle nearly yelled, attempting still to be quiet enough that Toriel wouldn’t hear.
“It’s… friendly. We’re close. That’s all.”
No, their bond was not romantic. It maybe wasn’t just simply friendly, either, but romantic… was too far a leap, as much as Kris ached for it not to be.
“Kris! You have to see what’s right in front of you!”
“So do you.”
“And what’s that?”
Shelving the sentence because there’s a prophecy that’s predetermined that Susie will fall in love, most likely with you , they took a deep breath. That time you went on a ferris wheel date together in a fantasy world was actually real was out of the running, too. How could Kris possibly explain any of this?
“You… you’re… different. She blushes at you.”
“She does not!”
“Does too.”
She does. This wasn’t a lie, either. Susie may be painfully oblivious to Noelle’s feelings, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel something between them. Kris could tell Susie was drawn to Noelle in a way they weren’t drawn to them.
“Kris…” Noelle trailed off, seemingly too tired to continue this back-and-forth.
…
“I don’t want to… fight you. Over her,” she said.
…
“I don’t, either.”
Kris didn’t think they were even in the running to fight over Susie in the first place, but they still didn’t want to fight all the same.
“It’s, um… kind of funny. If you think about it,” Noelle started. She had a small smile on her face, but her voice was quite melancholy. “I don’t think when I was little I’d ever imagine that me and you would be stuck crushing on the same girl.”
…
“I… I missed you, Kris. I don’t want to… I don’t want this to, um… mess things up. I finally have you back.”
Have me back, Kris thought. I never went anywhere. Or maybe I did. Do I have you back yet? Are we there? What are we anymore?
“I… missed you too.” The words seemed to just fall straight out of Kris’ mouth, even though they weren’t sure they were ready to tell her that.
“Really?”
“Really.”
…
“So… what? Neither of us can have her?”
Kris tried to find any kind of response to that, but came up empty.
Was there really a right answer in this scenario? They weren’t so sure. Kris was just about ready to give up Susie for Noelle’s sake but it seems like Noelle won’t let them.
Why not?
…
“Kris?”
They looked up at her to show they were paying attention.
“Close your eyes.”
For some reason, they didn’t ask a follow up question and did just that.
The room fell silent.
…
After a few moments, a pair of soft, plush lips pressed against Kris’ own.
Their eyes flew open as they stumbled a bit back in surprise. Noelle immediately flinched upon the loss of contact.
“I-I-I...I shouldn’t have done that!” She raised up both of her shaky hands like a surrender. “Oh god… Kris, I um—“ she stuttered, eyes darting around as she tried to look at anything besides Kris’ face.
Kris’ mind was racing. They were somewhere between WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? and Oh god. She’s panicking. How do I fix this.
“No, Noelle, I, uh…”
Kris reached and tried to find the right words to calm her down and found nothing. Their mouth hung open, frozen in place. It was hard to comfort someone when you, too, are freaking out in equal measure.
Kris ungracefully grabbed one of Noelle’s raised hands, clasping it tightly. Noelle stopped in her tracks immediately.
Say something!
They said nothing. They tugged her forward slightly.
“...Kris?”
They looked up at her through their eyelashes, staring so intensely that they hoped she’d get the memo.
“You… was that… okay?” Noelle asked, her voice laced with hesitancy.
I can’t believe that worked. They nodded.
“I… sorry, I must’ve scared you. Can… can I try again?”
They nodded again, with a little more enthusiasm this time.
“Okay.”
Kris let their crossed legs fall open, allowing Noelle to climb further into their space on the bed. Their heart was beating out of their chest with each inch she moved. They let go of her hand, and their arms fell awkwardly at their sides.
Gently, Noelle brushed her hand up Kris’ bare forearm, bringing their faces just inches apart.
Having no idea what to do, Kris closed their eyes, and waited.
…
Noelle’s lips were soft. Kris could feel that the short hairs on her face around them were soft too, as they brushed gently against the spot just above their upper lip. Kris was certain Noelle usually ran cold, so they were confused to find that with every moment that passed and with every movement of their lips they felt warmer and warmer.
Unsurprisingly, they’d never done this before. More surprisingly, Kris was starting to get the implication that Noelle had.
Trying not to sit there stiff as a board, paralyzed under Noelle’s hands, they tried to follow whatever it was she was doing with her mouth. It was purely instinctual, but one small press back earned them a slight jump from Noelle, so maybe they weren’t doing too bad at it.
Noelle pulled away for a short moment, the two of them both now panting a little. They stared at each other through the darkness, only lit by the moon streaming in from the window.
Saying nothing, they fell back into their rhythm. Noelle seemed emboldened by Kris’ reciprocation, and quickly swiped her tongue along the seam of Kris’ lips. A low, involuntary sound escaped their mouth as their lips fell open, and Noelle continued to come in deeper.
Slowly, Kris felt themself sliding down from their sitting position, enough so that Noelle was now practically on top of them. She pushed a little further, and Kris couldn’t mask the sounds escaping from their throat.
When she pulled away again, Noelle stared down at Kris, her long hair falling in waves around their face.
“Elly…” Kris heard themself say before thinking about it.
Noelle froze, her eyes thrown wide open and her cheeks flushed with color.
“I, uh! What? Kris? Um…” She seemed to lose her momentum, sobering up.
Ah. There’s Noelle.
Kris smirked slightly.
This was good. Kris knew how to handle flustered Noelle. They had no idea how to handle beautiful, confident, sitting-on-top-of-them Noelle.
“Where’d you learn to do all that?”
“I just—um! Nowhere!” She pushed herself up, still straddling on top of Kris but no longer directly in their face. “Somewhere! It’s not important! I got carried away, okay?!”
“Let me guess—it was Berdly,” Kris snarked as they pushed themself up onto their elbows, their grin widening.
“WHAT?! NO!! KRIS!!! You’re terrible! It was not!”
“It’s a fair guess.”
“IT IS NOT!!!” Kris laughed full-bodiedly. “I uh… it was Catti. My first one.”
Kris pushed down whatever complicated feelings they had about not already knowing this information as far back as they could.
“She must be a freak.”
“No—um! We didn’t! Do all that! It was, um. A lot more tame. Just to, like, um. Try it. Just once. It was basically just a peck.”
“I didn’t know you were one to experiment.”
“Kris!” she almost whined, shaking them gently by the shoulders.
…
“What was all that for?” Kris asked, breaking the short bout of silence.
Noelle’s smile faltered slightly, but she held strong. Her voice dropped to something much more somber.
“I, uh…it… maybe it’s stupid, but… I thought that… maybe if we don’t have Susie, than, um… we have each other. At least. Or something.”
It’s flimsy reasoning at best. She doesn’t even really sound all that convinced herself.
“That all?”
“Uh, well…”
…
“To be honest, I’ve always wanted to do that. With you.”
Oh.
Okay.
That’s news to me.
“…What?”
“Um! Sorry, that was probably weird to say, I uh… I really like you, Kris. I really liked you as a kid. I don’t know if you could tell.”
No, not really. Not at all, actually.
“And, um…” she continued, “I’m not sure I ever really… got over it.”
…
Kris was putting pieces together in their head. Was this why she was so hesitant to go after Susie?
Does she really see me… like that?
Being entirely honest with themself, Kris hadn’t ever really stopped to consider Noelle that way. They were sure they were never going to feel that way about another person until they became friends with Susie, and yet…
There was something there. With them and Noelle. Something that they don’t think they could ever replicate with anyone else.
Kris was not one to experiment with just anyone.
…
“I, um… liked hearing you call me Elly again.”
A switch flipped in Kris’ head.
Alright, two can play at this game.
Finding their strength, Kris hooked one of their legs over Noelle’s and flipped them both over, so that Kris was the one on top. Noelle physically squeaked, and her eyes shot wide open. Kris took her moment of shock to grab both of her wrists in each of their hands and pinned them at the sides of her head.
“…K-Kris?” she stuttered, biting her bottom lip just a little when she finished. Her long golden curls were all splayed out against the pillows, and her slightly glassy eyes were sparkling with moonlight.
She really is beautiful.
Keeping Noelle’s wrists firmly in place, Kris closed their eyes and dove in. Noelle’s eyes seemed to flutter shut on instinct.
As their lips locked again, Kris’ hands snaked upwards enough for their fingers to slot together.
The fur on Noelle’s cheeks became a little damp with tears.
Kris thought themself to be a fast learner, so they wasted no time in trying to lick into Noelle’s mouth. She keened underneath them, letting out a short, high-pitched moan. Good. She liked that. Kris swiped their tongue across Noelle’s prominent front teeth, relishing in the scraping sensation.
Their previous shot at this was much slower—methodical, even. Testing the waters. But Kris couldn’t help but be impatient now. They kissed like Noelle was going to disappear from underneath them any moment now—fervent and insistent.
They kept exploring. They traced the roof of Noelle’s mouth and along the ridges of her teeth. They pulled back just enough to bite and suck at her bottom lip—which earned them a medley of sweet sounds from her.
Pulling away for just a moment, Kris opened their eyes. Noelle’s eyes slowly blinked open, too—her long eyelashes damp with tears and her lips slick with spit. The both of them panted heavily with short, shallow breaths as they stared at one another.
“Kris…”
Kris could only stare down at the beautiful girl under them, with their red eyes that almost seemed to glow.
They moved in again, this time heading straight for the underside of Noelle’s jaw.
“Ah!” Noelle gasped as Kris nipped lightly at her jawline. “K-Kris!”
They stopped and looked back up at her. Waiting.
“Y-you… I, uh…” her eyes darted from side to side. “Please. Keep going.”
That was all the confirmation they needed. One of their hands found its way to the side of Noelle’s face, just around her fluffy ear, and the other found purchase right against her arm. With her hands free, Noelle grasped tightly at the fabric of Kris’ shirt right around their shoulders.
Kris was acting purely on instinct at this point, but with how responsive Noelle was they assumed whatever they were doing couldn’t be too bad. They licked a short stripe along her jaw, and stopped just beneath her ear to bite and suck. Luckily for her, no one would be able to see the mark on her skin underneath her brown fur.
She squirmed underneath Kris, who was now laying right on top of her. No space was left between them save for the fabric of their nightclothes. Kris inched just a little further upward, and bit down gently at Noelle’s ear.
“Mmh!” she whimpered—the sound muffled by how tightly her lips were squeezed together.
“Elly…” they whispered in her ear, before giving her jaw one more gentle kiss.
Noelle softened immediately, her grip on Kris’ shirt loosening. Kris pushed themself up just enough to look her in the eye.
Their eye contact was brief, however—after a moment passed Noelle pulled Kris in as close as she could. Her arms wrapped around their neck tightly, and their face squished against the side of hers.
She was so warm and soft. She smelled like cinnamon and sugar.
“Kris…”
“Mm?” was all they could reply.
“You’re too much, you know that? You ask me where I learned how to kiss and look at you.”
Kris gave a quick exhale that was almost a laugh.
“...Okay?” they asked, meaning to say Was that okay? but not quite managing it.
“Yes, you freak. More than okay,” Noelle replied, filling in the gaps on her own.
…
“You know, Kris…” she began again, threading her fingers through Kris’ hair. “I, ah… I’ve been… worried. About you. Lately.”
Kris knew where this was going already.
“Why?” A rhetorical question. There were plenty of reasons for people to be worrying about Kris, especially for someone as observant as Noelle.
“You… sometimes you… don’t sound like yourself. These days. I was relieved to come here tonight and hear your voice. The one I know.”
…
…
“Are you okay, Kris?”
What a loaded question.
“I…” Kris started to say, having trouble finding the words. “There’s something… I can’t tell you. Or anyone. But I’m… I’m okay.”
“You’re… okay?”
“I’m okay. I’m… still me.”
It’s mostly the truth.
They were still themself, even with the soul inside them. It was rare that it made a decision that Kris genuinely didn’t want it to make. It still felt icky, though, letting it make decisions—even when those decisions are what Kris would have wanted to do on their own. Even when it allowed them to say the words they want to say but couldn’t without its help—even when it brought them to Susie, and to Noelle, it still felt like something was wrong. But Kris was still Kris. They could deal with it. They had to.
If they couldn’t shove all of their feelings about Susie under the rug for Noelle’s sake, they could at least try to shove all of these feelings down for her sake.
They had Noelle, now, right here with them. That was enough.
“Okay. I trust you," she said.
Some sense of relief fell over Kris’ body.
The two of them stayed like that for a while, basking in each other’s presence. Breathing each others’ air. Feeling each others’ warmth.
…
“So… what now?” Noelle said, cutting through the silence.
Hell if I know.
“I… don’t know.”
“Did I… make everything worse? By coming here?”
“No.” Probably. It was more an answer that would comfort her rather than one Kris truly believed in.
…
…
“We’ll.. see what happens. From here,” Kris told her.
“So… do nothing?”
“Something like that.”
“Do—do you want to forget we did this?”
“No. We’ll go from here.”
“Okay. I like that.”
And we’re not going to tell Susie about it, they thought to say, but they knew they didn’t have to. If they were on the same page with Noelle about anything, it was definitely that.
This all… complicates things. Things were complicated enough before between the three of them and now they’ve just gone and added another layer to it all. But Kris didn’t want to say that this was worse, per se, but it was certainly more complicated. Or at least that’s what they wanted to convince themself of. Still, though, they couldn’t bring themself to regret it.
Nothing was ever simple between Noelle and them anymore. It didn’t matter all that much to complicate it a little more.
Was this… love? That they felt for her? Kris didn’t know. The two of them shared a bond that no other could really comprehend. They understood one another—on a specific level. Their feelings for Susie made them alike. Bound them together. But that wasn’t all. They’d been dancing around one another for years—rotating and orbiting like binary stars. Always within the others’ proximity but still somehow so far apart.
Being this close to Noelle so suddenly was too much for Kris to process.
…
Maybe, Susie will pick Noelle over Kris. Maybe she will pick Kris over Noelle. Maybe she will pick neither, and the two of them can take the secret of their love for her to the grave.
Or maybe…
They’ll find something else in between.
…
Noelle moved to sit herself up, and Kris followed along with her.
“I need to go home.”
Don’t leave.
“It’s late. Dark.”
“I’ll be fine, Kris. I set it all up so I could sneak myself back in.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Her hair was noticeably tousled and her nice nightgown was quite wrinkled.
“By yourself?” Kris stood up alongside her.
“I’m all grown up now! I can sneak into my own house. When I remember to leave the window cracked.”
“I’ll take you.”
“I’m fine, Kris! My house is literally right there!”
They wanted to push further, but stopped themself.
“...I’ll walk you out.”
Kris turned the knob and opened their door slowly, trying to keep it from creaking. Toriel might sleep like a rock but they still could never be too careful. There’s nothing they wanted to do less than explain why Noelle was here in the middle of the night.
Noelle followed just behind them as they made their way to the front door.
Opening it for her, Noelle stepped outside.
“Be safe.”
“I will.”
“Text me. When you get back.”
Noelle smiled, exhaling a little laugh.
“Okay, you big worrywart.”
Noelle gently took Kris’ hand with her own. Kris looked up to meet her eyes.
“Kris?”
Pulling them in close, she left a soft little peck against their cheek.
“I love you.”
Before Kris had the chance to reply, she was already off.