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As much as he tried not to, Steve couldn’t help but be furious with the state of the world that he found himself in. He had been angry back when he was fighting Nazis in the war, but somehow the modern world seemed to be just as filled with injustice and strife as it had been back then. Despite all of the progress and movements he had learned about during his attempts to catch up on what he had missed during his time in ice, it felt like every day there was a new thing to deal with. The worst part is that he was still fighting Nazis long after the war. He was glad that he had stopped Hydra’s plans, but it was a matter of time before they sprang up again with even more determination and cunning.
There was also the whole Bucky of everything. It had been a shock to see him on that bridge with no memory of himself, but Steve had proven that the real Bucky was somewhere still inside there. When he found out the truth of what Hydra had done to him, Steve’s rage only grew. Despite his and Sam’s best efforts, he was still frustrated every day that they didn’t manage to find him.
He found himself thrashing the punching bag in the training room of Avengers Tower nearly every day, but even that seemed unable to soothe the rage that had nestled inside of him. He knew that the amount of anger he had wasn’t healthy, but he was hesitant about seeing a therapist. Still, he knew that he needed help, and luckily he knew of a guy that could possibly help him.
Steve took in the New York City skyline as he prepared the coffee pot for the morning. He was the first one up and poured himself a cup of coffee before sitting down at the big, empty table in the center of the room. He took advantage of the silence to flip through the newspaper that had been delivered to his door. It wasn’t that Steve didn’t know how to use the internet, he had actually become quite proficient after a couple of training sessions, but he still liked the feel of an old-fashioned newspaper in his hands. He pored over the paper, reading about the various happenings all over the world.
He heard footsteps by the door and looked up to see Bruce Banner walk in. “Good morning, Bruce,” Steve said, giving the other man a small smile. “I made you some coffee.”
Bruce gave him a small nod of acknowledgment and thanked him as he prepared his own cup of coffee. When Bruce sat down across from him, Steve cleared his through nervously. “Hey, Bruce,” Steve said. Bruce looked up at him curiously. “I was hoping that we could talk about something.”
“What is it?” Bruce asked, pensively drinking his coffee.
Steve took a deep breath. “I hope I’m not overstepping…but I was hoping you could tell me how you learned to control your anger.” Bruce looked perplexed by the question. “You would know better than anyone.”
Bruce paused for a moment. “What are you angry about?”
“Everything,” Steve admitted. “Not you or the other Avengers,” he quickly clarified. “Just the world in general.”
Bruce took another sip of his coffee and gave him an understanding look. “I’m presuming that seeing a therapist is out of the question?”
Steve bristled at the question. “Not at the moment.” Though therapy seemed to be more accepted in today’s age, and he would trust a therapist if he was like Sam, he definitely wasn’t ready for that yet.
“I guess meditation helps,” Bruce admits. Steve scowled at the answer. He had never really thought of himself as a meditation guy. “But that’s not for everyone,” Bruce added quickly upon sensing his discomfort.
“Then I suppose the best thing I can say is to try and remember the people, the places, and the things that make you happy,” Bruce continued. “Who and what you can rely on when you go to that darker place.”
Steve paused as he tried to think of what made him happy these days. He was in a modern day world that he didn’t fully understand. His best friend was out there by himself after a lifetime of torture and erased memories. And he never got to have that dance.
He was about to give up hope when he looked over at Bruce again. He had him, he had Natasha, he had Tony, he had Clint, and he had Thor. Sam had proven himself a great friend and partner both on and off the battlefield and Steve looked forward to him one day joining the Avengers. He still missed those that he had lost, but he knew that his friends and teammates had his back and that he would have theirs. They might not always get along, but they all had the same goal in mind. A lot in the world seemed hopeless, but he knew that had to keep fighting for it with his new friends by his side.
“Thank you, Bruce,” Steve said, smiling at his friend. “I think that will help. At least for now.”
Bruce smiled back at him. “I’m glad. At the very least, you should be glad that you don’t have to worry about turning into something else if you lose control.”
Steve chuckled at the comment. “You’re right about that.” Not wanting to seem insensitive about Bruce’s situation, he quickly added, “I’m sorry that you have to go through that.”
Bruce shrugged in response. “It is what it is. At least I’ve gotten better at controlling it.” Steve nodded as he took another sip of his coffee.
The other Avengers made their way into the room and grabbed their mugs of coffee before joining the two of them at the large table. As a lively discussion between Tony and Bruce began, Steve smiled as he looked at his new friends.
Though a lot of things in this new age still seemed bleak, there was a lot to be thankful for. He would have to put in a great deal of effort to quell his anger, but he could match it with an increasing determination to make things better. There was still some hope in this world, and Steve had to do his best not to forget that.