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It’s a stroke of extraordinarily bad luck. So, it’s completely characteristic that Kaiser ends up in a wild situation like this.
Kaiser fiddles with the high collar of his jacket, considers for a moment taking it off and showing the Japanese man across from him the iconic tattoo that would get him recognized immediately. He decides against it and tries again to tell the man that he’s left all his belongings on a fucking train and ended up in this middle of nowhere, to lend him a phone so he can call someone for help. But, he’s speaking in a rough sounding German, wearing all black from head to toe with a mask and a cap and only his tattooed left hand showing, he looks like bad fucking news, so it’s obvious why the other man tries his best to keep his distance from Kaiser even as they stand in this small bus shelter.
Kaiser sighs angrily when the man jumps with a scared little squeak, “I just need your phone. Phone. Please?” Kaiser tries to look unthreatening, he takes a step back to give him space and makes the universal phone gesture with his hand and waits for the mans response.
The man takes off the moment he’s no longer cornered. He runs out into the rain and leaves Kaiser all alone.
Kaiser curses loudly.
“Seriously. What is this?” Kaiser murmurs to himself, he’s in awe really, slumping down onto the little bench that’s been provided. He stretches his legs long. He laughs out, “How the fuck did I end up like this?”
Kaiser had grown up wandering the city on his own. He could navigate the city of Berlin in his sleep. It hadn’t really occurred to him that things would be different now that he was in Japan. He’d figured, as long as he had his phone, he could solve any problem with his stupidly high salary and jump over any language barrier with a translation app. But then, he’d lost his phone. It was stupid mistake after stupid mistake. He’d entered a train thinking that was the way home, but has now ended up in some suburb where the people followed his figure with suspicious and frightened eyes, with no phone, no money, no nothing. This was unbelievably unlucky and also exactly what Kaiser would expect from an unfair God.
Kaiser stares up at the sky. It had been cloudy all day, heavy and ominous and a dark grey, the type of clouds that Kaiser knew meant it would storm, the type that Kaiser hated the most because it used to mean he’d have to stay home. A physiological aversion to the fucking rain. He’d looked up at the cloud this morning and felt like he wanted to rip himself from out of his own skin. So even though Ness had told Kaiser that they should stay inside, Kaiser had quickly left their hotel room with a small I’m going for a walk.
“It’s cold.” Kaiser says to no one. He shivers for something like dramatic effect and huddles closer into his thin jacket. Kaiser glances one last time at the sky before closing his eyes and trying to get comfortable on this bench. It’s not unfamiliar to be sleeping outside, it’s just been a long time, Kaiser’s too long for the bench now when a child Kaiser could have slept on it easily. It’s always been an obvious feeling but thinking it out in words, that he’s grown, that he feels like he’s too good to be sleeping on benches anymore when he used to all the time, it makes him laugh again, it’s like who do you think you fucking are?
“Uhm—”
Kaiser’s eyes snap open. An older woman stands across from him with a pink umbrella and a bag of groceries. Kaiser sits up straight and tries immediately to appear as soft and approachable as possible. This is the first time today that someone’s come up to him, someone, Kaiser sees, with big, gentle brown eyes and a soft smile that’s weirdly familiar.
She says something in Japanese. Kaiser has no idea of course what she’s saying, but it sounds like a question by the inflection in her tone.
“I’m lost.” He explains to her, it’s really quite easy to make his voice desperate and sad. He is desperate and sad. “I lost my phone on a fucking train and err. Phone, could I please borrow your phone?”
When he makes the phone gesture again, her very obvious confusion seems to clear and she reaches into her bag. Kaiser’s face lights up behind his mask when she gives him her phone easily.
The only word he knows in Japanese is thank you. He hasn’t had to use it once his whole trip, who the fuck would he have been thankful for, but he tells her this over and over again, genuinely, as he tries to call Ness.
It takes him a moment of staring at the keypad with a stupid, hopeful smile before he realizes he doesn’t know Ness’s number.
I’ve become fucking reliant! Kaiser loses one phone and suddenly it’s like he’s become a caveman with no idea where he is, no way to call anyone because who memorizes phone numbers nowadays, no way to get home because his wallet and his id were on his phone, he wants to scream angrily but suddenly the fury just curls into itself and he loses his fight. He signs and just gives the phone back to the woman in defeat.
“Thank you.” He tells her again quietly before slumping back into the bench. Idiot. He’s busy despairing at his own bad luck and takes a few seconds to realize the woman is still here. She tells him something short and loud and demanding.
“What?” Kaiser raises one eyebrow curiously. The woman must be around forty, the age of Kaiser’s own mother, Kaiser guesses from the way there’s small wrinkles at the corner of her gentle eyes, the slight smile lines from a life lived happily and lovingly, a housewife who was returning home to cook her family dinner, who’d stopped to help a dangerous looking stranger from the goodness of her own heart, Kaiser suddenly feels nervous in her presence, his voice comes out small, “It’s fine.”
She says the same word again, stubborn and determined, this time she points down the street.
“I don’t understand!” Kaiser says, exasperated. Finally, she has enough. She reaches over and grabs Kaiser’s arm. She’s half his size at least, but Kaiser’s too bewildered too react and she manages to drag him from the shelter before he realizes what she wants.
“Hold on,” Kaiser stands firmly. The two of them stand under her pink umbrella. She looks confused. She says the word again, points over down the street to a row of houses. Kaiser imagines it means home or even dinner. “You’d invite me to your home? You don’t even know me.”
Of course there’s no answer. The woman thinks about it harder and then decides to tug on Kaiser’s arm again. This time again, Kaiser lets himself be dragged. He’s outgrown benches, Kaiser thinks, and he’s not above letting someone help him. The two of them walk together through the storm and to a small, cute-looking home a few minutes away. Kaiser’s hesitant when she tries to get him through the door, but gives in because he wants to.
There’s another voice, an older man, he comes out to greet his wife and is surprised to see Kaiser. Kaiser stands still as he speaks with his wife. The man, like the woman, is weirdly familiar, he inspects Kaiser carefully with his dark blue eyes and then seems to settle down and says something that sounds like a welcome to Kaiser.
Kaiser is about to walk into the house when the woman raises her arm and points down at his muddy boots. Kaiser understands immediately and leans down to take his shoes off. She smiles at him and gives him a thumbs up. Upon seeing his dripping wet jacket, she points at that too and holds an arm out.
The power of universal gestures. Kaiser decides now is fine to reveal who he is. He takes off his hat and mask and then unzips his jacket. The husband and wife freeze as Kaiser unhooks the zipper and hands the jacket to the woman.
The two of them stare at him for a long time, their eyes both linger on Kaiser’s tattoo, completely surprised and unsure what to do. Kaiser wonders if they recognize him or if it’s just his tattoo, he’d read something about tattoos and Japanese people before he’d come. The woman looks over at her husband, who eventually shrugs even though he’s not at all as casual as he’s trying to be. She takes the soaked jacket from him and then gestures to his wet shirt too. The thin white shirt was also drenched and had become transparent. All of his iconic tattoo was on display.
“I’m not taking this off.” Kaiser says, even if it was drenched. He’s not so shameless to walk around shirtless in someone else’s house. He stands taller now, for them, it’s like he’s become an entirely different person. The man leaves for a moment and then comes back with a dry shirt and hoodie. He hands it to Kaiser.
“My son.” He manages in English which is the same, almost, as in German. Kaiser looks down at the dry clothes and takes them. He takes his wet clothes off and puts on the sons clothes.
Tight, Kaiser thinks with a frown as he forces his larger shoulders into the jumper, it’s a simple black jumper with what looks like a cartoonish fish on the front, and fucking unfashionable.
The man and the woman are whispering something to each other. Eventually, they figure out what to do next, the woman takes Kaiser’s clothes to the laundry while the father leads Kaiser down a hallway to the bathroom. Kaiser thanks him and goes in to wash up.
Kaiser washes his face with warm water which feels great on his skin, it’s shocking him to find out how cold he’d been. A type of cold that had reached his bones and has his skin tingling now to be met with hot water. Really, he’s become someone else now. The Kaiser he used to be could walk in the snow in a singlet. The Kaiser he used to be had to. Maybe that’s the difference now. Isn’t that obvious? Kaiser frowns again, he stares at himself in the mirror for a long time. It’s his own face that looks back. Isn’t it obvious, you’re not the fucking same, even though sometimes it feels like it, even though sometimes Kaiser can’t stop feeling like it. He breathes out and looks away.
Kaiser thinks, if he can borrow some money, catch a taxi back to the city, he could come back and pay the couple for their kindness and be home in time for dinner. He grabs a towel and dries his hair as he walks back down the hallway to the living room. On the way, Kaiser accidentally peers into one of the bedrooms.
It has to be the sons. From the looks of it, he was likely a teenage boy like himself. Kaiser glances once to the living area and decides to give in to his curiosity and walk into the bedroom instead. There’s the normal things that even Kaiser had, an already-made bed, a desk with some textbooks and post-its with messy handwriting, Kaiser hums to himself, amused to be in a normal teenage boys room, trophies and medals on a shelf, there’s a school uniform on the wall Kaiser never had, a schoolbag by the bed, but then he turns and ends up staring at a large Noel Noa poster.
Kaiser gasps in surprise, or horror, maybe, or disgust. It’s probably disgust. Kaiser physically recoils from the poster with an immature and exaggerated eww noise. So the son was a fucking Noel Noa fan? Well, how is he going to feel when Kaiser crushes Noa into irrelevancy? Kaiser almost wants to wait for the son to come home, just to tell him, here, this is what a real striker looks like, he’d even sign the soccer ball in the corner for the kid if he promised to burn this poster.
Kaiser’s plotting about the extent of his fame when suddenly the door opens behind him.
Kaiser spins around, about to apologise in German to whoever has opened the door, when he ends up face to face with the only other person Kaiser hated more than Noa.
“Huh?”
“You?”
Kaiser and Isagi are caught off guard by the other in the same way. Kaiser’s frozen, blinking, because there’s no way that Isagi Yoichi is standing across from him in this random Japanese home. And Isagi’s doing the same, because how did he find out where I live??
The couple appear behind Isagi and smile between the two boys. It’s like, truly, from a fucking nightmare, when Kaiser stares at the three of them, a really cute, happy family, he slowly understands why the parents had looked so unnervingly familiar.
“This is your room.” Kaiser breathes out slowly. The three of them have matching fluffy slippers. Kaiser’s stomach turns.
Isagi doesn’t understand, he furrows his eyebrows and gets annoyed the moment he’s in Kaiser’s presence, “What are you doing here? Get lost!”
“Yoichi, don’t be rude! I told you, I found him standing in the rain.” Iyo scolds Isagi. After a day of hanging out in the city with Bachira and Chigiri, Isagi had been looking forward to coming home and relaxing in his bed, and now he opens his door to find that of all people, the one person he didn’t want to see happens to be standing in his bedroom? Why shouldn’t he be rude!
“That doesn’t explain why he’s in my room!” Isagi’s about to turn to where Kaiser was and tell him off for entering Isagi’s room without permission but he gets shoved aside by Kaiser who barrels out of the room without a word. It’s weird, that Kaiser isn’t fighting back, Isagi hmphs, amused, what? Not running your mouth anymore?
Did I break you?
“Wait—” Issei calls out, but the next thing they hear is the entry door slamming shut. Now that Kaiser’s left, Isagi feels like he needs to complete some purifying ritual, or something. It’s bad energy. Isagi goes over to his window and lets in some fresh air. But the heavy wind slams the window close once again. He frowns and stares out into the night storm. He doesn’t feel bad at all. That Kaiser’s walked back out there.
“Yoichi.”
Isagi’s frown deepens, and he glances back to his parents who stand there together, disappointed and expectant.
Isagi tells them firmly, “I am not bringing him back.”
Once again, Kaiser ends up back at the bus shelter.
Colder than before, soaked again because the rain had gotten heavier, Kaiser had shrugged off his jumper before he’d left the house, Isagi’s small and unfashionable jumper, Isagi’s fucking warm and loving house, with his warm and loving parents with their matching slippers and their home-cooked meals, Kaiser squeezes his eyes closed and shrinks into himself for some warmth. His shirt is drenched and sticks to his skin and probably chills him more, he had slipped on his boots in a rush without his socks, they’re damp and wet and uncomfortable and have his skin pruning, Kaiser’s miserable, he's lost and cold and homeless and fucking miserable. He tucks his knees to his chest and buries his face in his arms, makes himself smaller. It’s a thick feeling of hate, that sits on his tongue, to have now seen Isagi’s bedroom. A normal bedroom with a normal family and everything. Isagi has everything. Really, how unfair can God be? So it’s misery and envy, hate and despair and a stupid little why? Kaiser knows it’s pointless to think but he’s still sometimes the same boy that used to watch the other kids at the park and wonder, why couldn’t I be the same? It’s childish to ask the world to be fair, Kaiser can’t help it, the feeling in his heart, why couldn’t it be me too? Kaiser’s jaw clenches tightly. He trembles in the wind.
“Hey.”
Kaiser’s heart jumps, but he remains in his hunched over position. Isagi sighs angrily from across from him and pokes him hard. Kaiser frowns, annoyed, but doesn’t move. Isagi does it again. This time, Kaiser reacts.
“Fuck off!”
“I don’t know what you’re saying, but I think I can tell.” Isagi doesn’t need to understand German to know that Kaiser’s cussed him out. Difficult fucking jerk. Isagi stares at the crouched over Kaiser. He sighs angrily again, stares over at the empty street, and then reaches forward to grab what he can of Kaiser’s arms. He tugs roughly and pulls Kaiser half out of his position. Kaiser yelps in surprise. He almost falls off the bench but stumbles up onto his feet again. Taking his chance, Isagi tightens his grip and attempts to drag Kaiser back home because his parents had told him he’d be grounded otherwise.
Isagi’s trying to manhandle him? Despite how much smaller he was? Kaiser pulls his arm out of Isagi’s grip and sits back down at the bench. Kaiser closes his eyes and ignores Isagi who starts yapping angrily in Japanese.
“I don’t know what you’re saying.” Kaiser just murmurs. He gets poked again, but this time, Isagi has a pair of translators in his palm which he offers to Kaiser.
Kaiser looks down at them and up to Isagi who has a pair in his own ears. Isagi looks like he’d rather bite his own arm off then talk with Kaiser, but tries to communicate anyway. Because Kaiser just looks like such a sad wet cat in this pouring rain, Isagi tries even though he can just tell his parents Kaiser didn’t want to come back with him. Because it’s Kaiser and he needs to be as difficult as possible, he takes his time but eventually takes the translators and puts them in his ears.
“Finally.” Isagi’s voice crackles and then turns into something Kaiser can understand.
“I’m not going back even if you beg me.” Kaiser tells him. At this, Isagi’s expression hardens.
“As if I’d fucking beg.” Isagi seethes, “My parents want you to come over for dinner. But If you want to stay in this rain all night, go ahead.”
“Okay. I am.” Kaiser closes his eyes and leans back into the bench. Isagi can walk off and say he really tried his best.
As if on cue, Kaiser’s stomach takes this moment to growl as fucking loud as possible. Absolutely extraordinarily bad luck. Isagi smirks, amused. Kaiser crosses his arms over his stomach and pretends he can’t hear Isagi staring at him. Hunger is nothing new, being cold is nothing new, it’s all Kaiser used to know. Having a no doubt delicious, home-cooked dinner with Isagi is a hell that’s worse than starving.
“Don’t be stubborn.” Isagi continues when Kaiser still doesn’t give in. “Listen. Just come back. And I promise you, I won’t talk to you at all. You can just pretend like I’m not there, and I’ll do the same.”
Kaiser usually overthinks, that he doesn’t know how normal humans react, but he’s more expressive than he knows. Isagi can see it immediately, that he’s won Kaiser over with this deal. He takes a step back to give Kaiser some space.
“You won’t talk to me?”
“I won’t even look at you.”
Kaiser’s stomach growls again. Isagi rolls his eyes, for someone who seems so pitiful, he’s unbelievably stubborn! Kaiser thinks it over. When he looks up at Isagi, who hates Kaiser as much as Kaiser hates him, he hears I won’t talk to you, and he’s sure Isagi means it. When Kaiser looks past him to the storm clouds, the answer is as clear as the sudden crack of thunder. He jumps up and goes under Isagi’s umbrella.
“Okay.” Kaiser says finally. He smiles, despite himself, smug and amused, “Since you begged.”
Isagi’s jaw ticks but he doesn’t rise to the bait and remains true to his promise. The two of them walk together under Isagi’s small umbrella. Isagi pretends it doesn’t bother him, that Kaiser’s shoulders knock into his own, or that Kaiser is so close Isagi can feel his warm breath at the shell of his ear. Kaiser curses when once again, he hits his head at the top of the umbrella. Isagi, who is shorter than him, doesn’t realize how low he’s holding the umbrella.
“Hold it higher.” Kaiser commands Isagi. Isagi ignores him like Kaiser’s not there. The umbrella hits Kaiser’s head for the last time. He snatches the umbrella from Isagi and holds it above himself.
“Hey!” Isagi reaches for the handle, but Kaiser raises the umbrella out of reach.
“Just relax, I’ll hold it.”
Isagi stands in his spot as Kaiser walks on ahead. He stares at Kaiser’s back and has to fight the urge to go and start another fight. He’d been fighting with Kaiser all of NEL. He’s only had about a few days to return back to a pre-Kaiser Isagi Yoichi. He takes a deep breath now, becomes the bigger person, and walks back under the umbrella. Kaiser smiles happily at Isagi’s apparent obedience.
“Thanks for holding it for me. It’s really kind of you.”
Actually, Isagi’s not the bigger person.
Kaiser takes a moment to realize what Isagi means, carrying Isagi’s umbrella around for him like a servant, Kaiser’s jaw drops slightly. Isagi’s smug, walking around like this, but then suddenly Kaiser takes off.
“Hey!” Isagi shields his eyes from the rain with his hands. He can barely see Kaiser as he runs away from him, fast, through the heavy rain with Isagi’s umbrella. And, he’s not even going the right way! Isagi can feel it at the tips of his fingers, god fucking dammit! Kaiser!
He runs after Kaiser, who slows down after he ends up on a bridge he was sure he hadn’t seen before. Kaiser tries to turn back when Isagi crashes into his side.
“Give me that!” Kaiser yelps when Isagi attacks him, he tugs hard on Kaiser’s arm and tries to grab the umbrella from him. Kaiser fights, not because he cares, but because Isagi’s started a fight with him. He tries his best to keep the umbrella away from Isagi’s reach, to not be manhandled around, but Isagi holds on with an unbelievable grip, Tenacious, stubborn motherfucker! Kaiser clenches his teeth and with one last tug from a starving, cold body, he wrenches the umbrella free. Before he can even celebrate or goad, there’s a stupidly strong gust of wind which blows the umbrella out of his slippery hands and out into the storm.
Kaiser and Isagi watch, identically wide-eyed, as the umbrella floats away and disappears.
“Ah.” Kaiser breathes out. Isagi takes a bit longer to process, but then he snaps around to Kaiser.
“You idiot! Look what you did!”
“Me? This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t try fighting me. Do you usually start fights you won’t win?”
“Ha! Seriously? You’re seriously asking me—”
Like he’s been infected by Kaiser, or like maybe sometimes people just have bad luck, a car drives by and splashes them both with water and shuts Isagi up before he can remind Kaiser of things he doesn’t want to think about right now.
“Shit! Just—” Isagi, now drenched exactly like Kaiser and too out of patience, grabs the other boys hand and starts dragging him in the right direction home. Kaiser doesn’t say anything, for the first time ever, and just runs with Isagi through the storm. Isagi’s hand, tightly entwined with his own, skin against his own, there’s just enough warmth, Kaiser easily keeps up with Isagi’s sprinting, in the heavy rain, Isagi’s little sprout has been flattened, from behind, there’s droplets of rain that roll from the small hairs at Isagi’s nape down the back of his bare neck. There’s another flicker of warmth, deep somewhere in Kaiser’s body, he squeezes Isagi’s hand just as hard and runs with him through this empty world.
By the time they’ve gotten back to the home, even Kaiser is out of breath. He and Isagi stand, keeled over, catching their breath, at the entrance of Isagi’s home. His father quickly ushers the boys in and tells them dry up and get into new clothes.
“Here,” Even though they agreed to not talk to each other, Isagi shows Kaiser his wardrobe and speaks with him in an overly formal tone, “You can borrow something from here. But I want it cleaned and returned to me by the end of tomorrow.”
“You’re acting like I’d want to keep your cheap shit for longer than I have to,” Kaiser inspects Isagi’s wardrobe. It’s mostly a collection of basics, nothing designer, as expected, Kaiser frowns and turns to Isagi who has returned to the room with a towel. “Do you have anything that would fit me? Your clothes are too small.”
He thinks he hears Isagi murmur “it’s just 10cm” even though it was 11cm, but Isagi doesn’t say anything else and just searches through his wardrobe for a large hoodie. It’s oversized on him, so it should fit Kaiser fine. Kaiser stares down at the white hoodie.
“It’s a bit, unsubtle?” Kaiser says flatly, reading the words ‘not genius’. Isagi slips off his own wet clothes and pats himself dry with his towel. Kaiser does the same, Isagi shouldn’t look, and it’s not like he hasn’t seen a shirtless Kaiser before, but the atmosphere is different now that they were in Isagi’s bedroom, now that my bed is just a metre away… Isagi stops himself the moment the thought forces itself into his mind, he scolds himself furiously, what are you even thinking about! You hate him! His gaze lingers on Kaiser as he stretches up to pull the hoodie on. Really, Kaiser’s physique was really— something. Isagi won’t compliment him even if it’s his own mind. But if he did, he might call Kaiser fucking hot, like, stupidly fucking hot. Isagi waits for Kaiser to put the jumper on and cover his torso again, but the hoodie gets stuck around Kaiser’s shoulders.
“Yoichi.” Kaiser calls out, muffled. He’s got his arms stuck in the air. “Hey. Help me.”
“Why would I??”
Kaiser wiggles around, like a fat caterpillar. He can’t seem to get unstuck. An idiot who can’t put on his own clothes. Kaiser is really something. Isagi watches in a complete disbelief see this side of Michael Kaiser. Isagi tries to hide his surprised laugh with an unconvincing cough.
“Stop fucking laughing and help me!”
“Ask me nicely, asshole.” Isagi walks over to where Kaiser was struggling. At this, Kaiser starts trying again to tug the hoodie back over his head but he’s unable to. “Seriously, you can’t swallow your pride for even this? I heard you say please to Raichi, I know you know how.”
Kaiser says something else, muffled by the hoodie. He knows it’s not the please he’s looking for, but he pretends that it is. Isagi’s really too damn kind. He gets close to Kaiser, now that he’s sure Kaiser can’t catch him, he takes this unique moment to drag his eyes up Kaiser’s torso slowly. His fingers brush against Kaiser’s warm skin, it’s like a shot of electricity, instantly he feels himself weaken, he helps pull the hoodie back off. Finally free, Kaiser’s long hair sticks up from the static, all wild and prickly. He frowns in a way that’s almost pouty.
“Just lend me something of your dads.”
Isagi considers the very logical suggestion but decides against it for some reason. He finds another large hoodie of his for Kaiser. Kaiser slips this one on easily. He’s not sure how it happens, Isagi ends up drying Kaiser’s hair for him because he won’t do it himself and not because Isagi wants to be close to him. Once they’re sufficiently dry and Kaiser begins standing around, aloof and quiet and awkward. With his crazy hair and wild tattoo and his Kaiser-ness, Kaiser looks completely out-of-place in Isagi’s ordinary room. He inspects Isagi’s trophies and makes a smug hmph sound that makes Isagi’s eye twitch.
“Why don’t you go help my mother with dinner?” Isagi tries to push Kaiser out of his room. Kaiser’s smug expression drops immediately.
“H-Huh? Why would I?” If Isagi wasn’t mistaken, it sounds strangely like fear.
“Why?” Because the sight of you in my bedroom is driving me crazy for a number of reasons! “Because she has to make twice as much dinner now that you’re here. The least you can do is help her.”
“But—” Isagi begins shoving Kaiser towards the door. Kaiser’s eyes widen, “Hey just wait! Yoichi! I can’t even understand her? What use would I be?”
“Oh really? You understood her perfectly when you invited yourself over!” With one last push, Isagi manages to get Kaiser out of his bedroom. At the commotion, Issei comes down the hallway.
“What are you boys doing?” He asks Isagi. Kaiser stands in the doorway, alarmed, with his hair sticking all upwards, like a surprised cat, and looking so good in Isagi’s hoodie.
“Kaiser said he wants to help mum!”
“Oh?”
It’s the last thing he sees, Issei comes over excitedly and takes Kaiser by the arm. Kaiser stammers out one last plea to Isagi as he’s lead down to the kitchen, Isagi snickers to himself before he slams the door shut.
Other than his coach and the Bastard Munchen team, the only adult, like a real functioning adult, Kaiser interacted with was Ray Dark. And that was occasional dinners at some five star restaurant Ray would fly them to with his private jet. Kaiser is pushed into the kitchen. He stands stiffly, towering over Isagi’s mother as his father explains something. Iyo’s face lights up when she hears Kaiser wants to help her. It’s completely unfamiliar for Kaiser, who usually only had to talk with people on camera or on the field, he's not sure how to act, so he just does what she asks silently and as carefully as he can. It’s as Isagi said, even without speaking, they understand each other enough.
“This is Yocchan’s favourite meal,” She tells him anyway. She giggles to herself, the Michael Kaiser, who she and her husband had watched curse out and scream and threaten her son on TV, was suddenly in her kitchen, in a cutesy apron and with his hair tied back, cooking her sons favourite dinner so diligently. Issei gives her a knowing smile.
“It would be useful for him to learn it now.”
She thinks, what a kind boy! He must be like Isagi.
Isagi doesn’t realize it all, just how much he’s fucked up by letting his parents and Kaiser warm up to each other. He’s, with one impulsive decision, basically changed the whole script of his life. He’s lying in his bed when Kaiser knocks on his door.
“Dinner is ready.” Kaiser calls out. Isagi takes a deep breath, remembers his and Kaiser’s promise, and opens his door. Kaiser doesn’t stand as awkwardly as he had before, Isagi is stunned by his get-up, the frilly pink apron on his large figure is really ridiculous.
“You’ve been domesticated.” Maybe, that’s just an Isagi thing.
“Shut up before I slit your fucking throat.”
“Yeah, yeah.” It doesn’t mean much when Kaiser’s wearing a pair of fluffy slippers. The two of them walk to the dining table where Issei and Iyo were already sitting beside each other, leaving the two across from them empty for Isagi and Kaiser.
His parents are so not subtle, Isagi makes a face but sits like he doesn’t know what their cheeky smiles mean. Kaiser sits beside him.
“Kaiser is so helpful,” Iyo tells Isagi as she serves Kaiser up dinner first. She hands the plate to Kaiser, who thanks her in Japanese. Isagi gives him a bewildered look, having never heard Kaiser speak so politely. “Yocchan, doesn’t he look so cute in that apron?”
“Cute?” Isagi takes his own plate and shoves a spoon of rice into his mouth, he knows they’re trying to trap him, Isagi’s not an idiot. He’d made the mistake of looking at BLLKTV after NEL was over and had been absolutely horrified by the amount of kaisagi he’d seen. It was mortifying to know his parents had seen that, that his friends had seen it, he hadn’t even let himself imagine what Kaiser thought about it. Didn’t everyone see? How terrible they’d been to each other? Why would anyone think they’d be a pair of anything? “What part of Kaiser is cute?”
“I’m not cute.” Kaiser murmurs, he only understands Isagi with the translators. Isagi almost disagrees just because.
Kaiser takes a bite of his dinner. Kaiser had spent the last four years eating out from the most acclaimed chefs, at five star restaurants with menus he doubted Isagi could even pronounce, the absolute best of the best, Kaiser slowly chews and tries to hide his reaction. He can’t hide anything from Isagi, who becomes amused at how sparkly Kaiser’s blue eyes become. It’s just a home-cooked meal by an amateur chef, with ingredients at just a regular grocery store, so why does it taste so fucking good?? The next spoon isn’t enough, Kaiser is stuffing more into his mouth before he even swallows. Iyo looks pleased at the reaction.
“He likes it?”
Kaiser starts choking, predictably. “Tell your mother, this is the fucking best thing I’ve ever had.”
“He says, ‘it’s the fucking best thing he’s ever had’” Isagi tells his mother, even though that was obvious.
“Don’t use such foul language, Yocchan!” His mother scolds him.
“What?” Isagi asks, “I was just passing on the message.” He glares slightly up at Kaiser who looks like a little pleased puppy when Iyo gives him a second serving. “I got in trouble because of you. Hey, stop eating so much!”
“Maybe if you ate more, you wouldn’t be so small.” Kaiser tells him snarkily.
“If you had an appetite like Kaiser, maybe you could grow tall like him.” Issei says at the same time. Isagi really does not appreciate his family and this stranger becoming in sync.
“It’s nice to know my cooking is appreciated.” Iyo sighs wistfully.
“I always say thank you.” Isagi points out. But his parents seem enamoured with Kaiser who, unlike the Kaiser Isagi knows, is strangely polite with his thank you’s and unrestrained please’s and this is the best, really this is so fucking good Yoichi, tell her so she knows!
“You should appreciate your mother more.” Kaiser reprimands Isagi also.
“I do!” Isagi fumes, he mumbles, “When I come to Germany, you’re getting your mother to cook me dinner.”
Kaiser barks out a laugh, “Ha! Sure, yes Yoichi, that’s fine.”
“What’s funny about that?” Isagi turns to Kaiser who takes a long sip of his drink and looks down at Isagi with his usual, annoying smirk. That smirk like Kaiser knows something Isagi doesn’t, like he’s beyond Isagi, Isagi hates this secretive little smile of Kaiser’s.
“Nothing, I was just imagining it. I’m not sure how she can do that from a grave.”
Isagi stills immediately, his face falls. The atmosphere becomes awkward, of course, he didn’t like Kaiser even a little but he knows when he’s gone too far, “Oh, I-I’m sorry, Kaiser, I didn’t mean—” Kaiser bursts out laughing again at Isagi’s polite tone, the type of laugh where his eyes crinkle at the edges, like a laugh that he means.
“That’s a nice face, Yoichi. I was only joking.”
“You’re such a fucking—!”
“No cursing, Yoichi!” Isagi’s father pipes up.
Isagi sighs angrily, in defeat, stupid Kaiser! Stupid fucking Kaiser! Isagi can’t believe he even for a moment dared to feel bad for him. He goes back to eating. Kaiser’s eyes linger on him for a moment longer.
As they finish dinner, the four of them are quiet. Issei and Iyo still sparkle and shimmer from across Isagi, staring at him expectantly like they want to see Kaiser and Isagi interact more, Isagi’s not speaking with Kaiser! The atmosphere between the other three is light and joyful, Isagi’s parents obviously very much love Kaiser, it’s only Isagi who sits in the corner feeling murderous and out-of-place. Seriously, what type of parents would ship their own son with his enemy? Bad father! Isagi thinks furiously, bad mother!
Issei goes over to the kitchen to grab a dessert they’d been saving for a special occasion. Of course, for Isagi’s parents who just know, this was one of the most special occasions of their son’s life – the first time they meet their son’s life partner (even if Kaiser and Isagi don’t know it yet). He walks back over to the table with a cake. Isagi notices it just a moment before it happens, the way his father’s strides become longer and more suave, his father’s usual kind expression sharpened into something arrogant and predatory, something like—
“Isagi Iyo,” With one hand, Isagi’s father hands the cake to his mother, with his other hand, he takes her by the chin, his voice lowers into something like a fake, nauseating sexy, with dark, hooded eyes and a smirk, his father brings his mother’s face closer to his, “I came here… to give you this.”
His mother erupts into soft giggles, like a teenager in love, Isagi’s jaw drops, completely scandalized. From when Isagi had first come home, his father had made a number of impressions, but this is the first time it’s purposefully of Kaiser, the first time Isagi realizes they absolutely know all about kaisagi. It’s hell. How can they make fun of him! It’s not bad, it’s beyond bad! Evil mum! Evil dad! It’s totally unforgivable! And then, because of course, it gets worse.
Isagi’s mother leans up into the romantic embrace and like it’s the most natural thing in the world, she kisses him.
The squeak from beside him is at once the most stupid and cutest Isagi’s ever heard. He snaps his gaze away from his (very inappropriately) entwined parents to where Kaiser was currently turning a deep shade of red. In an instant, heat creeps up the side of Isagi’s neck.
He hisses quietly to Kaiser who was putting his burning face in his hands, “Why the fuck are you embarrassed? They’re copying you.”
“It’s different seeing it,” Kaiser bites out from behind his hand. His eyes don’t meet Isagi’s. Embarrassment? Shame? Since when did Kaiser even know the meaning of those words! He’s the sole reason for the whole kaisagi bullshit!
“Have you guys had enough?” Isagi gets up and grabs his plate. “Thank you for the meal.”
He leaves the table and goes back to his room. He’s not so upset, really, but he can’t stop thinking about Kaiser’s blushing face. It’s strange to remember that Kaiser is just a teenager like him who can blush and look human and gets embarrassed when he’s teased and who says thank you to his parents. All of NEL, Kaiser had been just the enemy Isagi needed to crush and devour, seeing Kaiser off that high-pressure prison and in a home, in soft light, it’s no good. Isagi blushes and collapses to his knees once he’s in his own room. He thinks furiously about how he’d dared to call Kaiser cute. It had been without thinking, which made it so much worse.
After some time, Kaiser knocks on his door again. This time, he doesn’t wait for Isagi’s permission and enters the room with a slice of cake.
“Iyo asked me to bring this to you.”
A first name basis. It only hits Isagi now that he should have never let Kaiser and his parents alone. Who knows what they were thinking about— that their son had really found such a handsome, well-mannered boyfriend!— when Isagi wasn’t there to shut it down. Kaiser walks over and places the plate on Isagi’s desk. He looks more comfortable now, like he might belong here, Isagi watches Kaiser carefully.
“I need to go back to the city.” Kaiser tells Isagi quietly. “If you can just call me a taxi, I’d… I’d, I guess I might appreciate it.”
“Are you begging me to help you?”
“I was only slightly offering you the chance to be of use to me.”
“You’re cute when you beg.” Isagi says before he can help it. Again, with the fucking word! Isagi shakes his head as if wanting to throw the word out of his mind. He doesn’t want to help, even though Kaiser had asked him so rudely, but it would be best to get Kaiser out of this house as quick as possible before his parents make a ridiculous suggestion like getting Kaiser to stay the night.
“Kaiser should stay over tonight.” Issei tells Isagi when he goes to tell them. Isagi is quick to protest.
“It is raining quite heavy.” Iyo adds, concerned. She stares over at the storm outside. “I’d feel awful if something happened.”
“Nothing would happen—”
“And it’s already so late,” Issei agrees, “It’s no good. He’ll have to stay in your room, Yoichi.”
“My room? No way—”
But his parents have already plotted this, they turn to him with identical smiles, Isagi should have known, “Get him a spare pillow and blanket. And, keep the door open!”
Kaiser doesn’t know why he agrees when Isagi tells him what his parents have said. Maybe because Issei had mimed to Kaiser what Kaiser believed meant, don’t tell Yoichi, but you’re my favourite soccer player! Or because Iyo had called Kaiser Mi-chan and had smiled at him so brightly when she gave him an extra slice of cake. Since PXG, Kaiser had told himself aim for love, and had come out of it realizing he barely knew what love meant, what it looked like, it’s a hint, or a puzzle piece, Kaiser thinks as he brushes his teeth in the Isagi’s bathroom. Isagi slams on the door when Kaiser takes too long.
“Finally.” Isagi murmurs, he tells Kaiser that he’s set up a bed on the floor for Kaiser to sleep on, and then enters the bathroom after him.
Isagi doesn’t know how it ends up like this, maybe because he doesn’t want to get in trouble, maybe because he also doesn’t want Kaiser to drive home in the terrible storm, maybe because the World Cup was soon, or because he’s now realizing that he really doesn’t hate it so much being around Kaiser. He heads back to his bedroom and is pissed off but not surprised at all when he finds Kaiser sleeping in his bed.
“Hey!” Isagi barks out. He shakes Kaiser who was pretending to sleep even though it had been just a few minutes since they spoke last. Kaiser looks so snug, sleeping under Isagi’s blankets. “Get up! I said, your bed is on the floor.”
Kaiser opens one eyes and glares at Isagi, “I’m the fucking guest. Why would I sleep on the floor?”
“You’re so comfortable sleeping in someone else’s bed! Get up! Hey! Stop fake snoring!” Isagi gets rougher, climbing up onto the bed, he starts shaking the other boy who clings to Isagi’s bedsheets, so he doesn’t get thrown off. Isagi laughs in disbelief, giving up for a moment when Kaiser buries deeper into the bed. With all the strength he has, Isagi grabs Kaiser and pushes him off. Kaiser, not one to just take it, grabs Isagi and drags him down with him.
“Argh!” Kaiser shouts in pain when Isagi falls on top of him. Isagi, disorientated from the fall, groans painfully too. Isagi presses on his forehead and winces again. It takes him too long to realize. All of Isagi’s attempts tonight to stay as far from Kaiser as he can mean nothing, because when he opens his eyes, he realises he’s sitting on top of Kaiser, the two of them tangled in the bedsheets, their faces just centimetres away. Isagi tries to sit up but it makes it worse, his knee inches just slightly higher between Kaiser’s strong thighs at the movement, Kaiser makes a strange noise that has Isagi feeling weak, Isagi gasps breathily when he realizes too late that Kaiser was very much naked. He stops moving and tries to form a plan of what to do next. How to get untangled, how to stay as far from Kaiser as he can, how to tear his eyes from Kaiser. But, this isn’t soccer, and it’s just the two of them, and it’s like the tension and hatred that had been between them for the last few weeks starts burning in a different way. A heat that Isagi feels somewhere differently. Isagi freezes at his body’s reaction. Kaiser’s blue and gold hair fans around his face, this close, Isagi can feel the breath that leaves the part of Kaiser’s soft lips, he can see faint freckles he’d never noticed before over Kaiser’s nose, the red eyeliner was a tattoo after all. Kaiser’s eyes open and he peers up at Isagi through his blonde lashes, not like his usual cruel, icy way, not even in the really delicious, defeated way Isagi aches for, but wide and human and just like him, just a boy experiencing a confusing crush for the first time like him, Kaiser stares deep into Isagi’s stormy dark eyes and then closes his own again and waits for Isagi. Isagi is supposed to move away, but this close to Kaiser, he’s drawn in just a bit closer, in a trance, that mouth looks like an invitation, Isagi’s own mouth parts.
“Yocch—an….” Both Kaiser and Isagi scream shrilly when his parents open the door. They’d heard a loud bang and had rushed into the room, mistaking it for a fight. Isagi’s mind goes blank as he stares across at his parents. He’s on top of Kaiser. On top of a naked Kaiser.
“It’s not what it looks like—!” The door slams shut again and he hears his parents giggling to themselves all down the hallway. Isagi’s frozen, jaw dropped, really unable to think a single coherent thing.
“Are you going to fucking move?”
“I want to die.” Isagi manages. Kaiser pushes him off. Isagi rolls onto the floor and just stares blankly at the ceiling. “Seriously, Kaiser, you can kill me.”
“Tempting.” Kaiser says like this wasn’t the end of the world. He tugs the sheets off Isagi and gets back into Isagi’s bed. Isagi vaguely notices now that Kaiser was wearing a pair of thin shorts. “But it’s no good if you want it.”
“You’re the worst.”
Kaiser doesn’t respond and just snuggles into Isagi’s bed again. Isagi sits up and stares at Kaiser’s unbothered expression. “I’m sleeping on my bed.”
“So am I.” Kaiser replies with a yawn.
“I’m serious.” Isagi stands up and stands at the edge of the bed. “Kaiser, I’m going to sleep here so you have to get off.”
“I’m not moving.”
Fighting obviously doesn’t work, it’s no good trying to fight someone bigger than him anyway especially when his parents are downstairs, Isagi makes a rational decision to get onto the bed with him.
Kaiser’s eyes snap open in surprise but Isagi doesn’t say anything at all as he sleeps with his head at the foot of the bed. It’s okay like this, Isagi reasons, he closes his eyes and pretends that Kaiser’s feet right next to his head don’t piss him off.
It's quiet for a long time, long enough that Isagi thinks that maybe this will work, but then Kaiser kicks at Isagi’s head.
“Sorry.” Kaiser says in a way that makes him sound like he’s obviously not. “That was an accident.”
Isagi, as a response, kicks Kaiser’s head too. He smirks to himself when he hears Kaiser’s small yelp. “Accident. Sorry.”
Kaiser, not one to be beat, places his entire foot on Isagi’s ear. Isagi sits up abruptly. He growls out lowly, “You fucking—!”
“Go sleep on the floor if I’m bothering you.”
“Why don’t I kick you out? This is my house.”
“As if Iyo and Issei would let you.” Kaiser grins smugly with the knowledge that Isagi’s parents were smitten with him. If Kaiser could, he’ll come over again when the World Cup starts. He imagines it now, Isagi coming home and Kaiser’s already at the dinner table. It’s very immature, that this fantasy makes Kaiser laugh to himself. Isagi doesn’t need to hear Kaiser’s thoughts, he hears the laugh and he understands everything that goes through Kaiser’s twisted mind. Isagi hadn’t been beaten by Kaiser in NEL, he won’t be beaten by Kaiser in the World Cup, and he definitely won’t be beaten in his own bed!
He turns his body so that he’s no longer at Kaiser’s feet but sleeping beside Kaiser. Isagi doesn’t open his eyes or make any indication that it bothers him that the two of them are sleeping with their heads just inches apart. Kaiser narrows his eyes at Isagi’s peaceful expression and then mimics it too. He lets out a long sigh like he’s totally unbothered. Isagi does the same, because he’s also unbothered. Isagi remains alert for a few minutes, waiting for Kaiser to make a comment, waiting for Kaiser to antagonize him as usual, but it’s a long time of silence and Isagi even starts to relax.
Isagi’s falling asleep when he feels Kaiser twist to face him. His eyebrow twitches but he keeps his eyes closed. I should have known! Kaiser stares at him for a long time. There’s a weird feeling in his hands, like Kaiser might want to reach over and run his fingers along Isagi’s eyebrows, or honk his nose, or brush them over Isagi’s soft mouth. Kaiser’s eyes linger there, on Isagi’s lips, the steady sound of Isagi breathing. For someone that had been hanging over Kaiser like a devil, Isagi can really make such a peaceful expression. Kaiser really can’t find the want to look away.
“I’m going to beat you.” Kaiser tells Isagi now. It doesn’t have that much bite. Not a threat, or a question, it’s a promise. Isagi’s lips twitch up just slightly. He opens his eyes finally and shifts so he can face Kaiser too. Really, for the first time, just two boys across from each other. Isagi doesn’t hate it.
“You can try your best.” Isagi tells him, no bite at all, a little bit of a challenge, excitement, a promise? You promise? You’re going to be a pain in my ass forever, right? You’ll chase me forever, right?
Isagi closes his eyes again, he hears Kaiser say it again, in a quieter voice, like he’s about to fall asleep too, “Don’t regret it when you’re crying on your knees in front of me.”
“Ha.” Isagi laughs tiredly, “Yeah. That’s not going to happen.”
“In the World Cup. And, every match after that. Yoichi, you’re never beating me again.” Isagi’s quiet for so long, Kaiser thinks he’s finally fallen asleep. Kaiser relaxes, closes his eyes, just the moment before he finally sleeps, Isagi has the last word.
“I will beat you,” Isagi whispers, “You look so good when you’re defeated.”
“No, I’m beating you because I said it first—”
“I’m going to devour you—”
“You got lucky this once—”
“Luck? Come on—”