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It’s easy to forget that people younger than you are constantly growing up. Especially when it’s not happening before your eyes. Because really, what business does the little kid you knew from your old neighbourhood have becoming a fully fledged adult in the years that have passed since you last saw them? At least that is what Johnny wants to know when, instead of his childhood best friend’s weird little cousin, Johnny finds a grown-ass man.
The problem is that the math adds up— kinda —it’s been roughly a couple decades since his parents moved them to Chicago when he was 10. Johnny is technically an adult now, so it would make sense that the baby would now be one too. And now that he thinks about it, even back then, Jaehyun was way too old to be called a baby, so the logic checks out. And yet, Johnny just cannot even begin to compute what is going on. The Jaehyun of his memory did not look like this. Where’s the Pororo doll that seemed to be surgically attached to his hip? Where’s the kid with the missing front tooth and the lisp? Where’s the kid who couldn’t be seen in public without at least one character-themed bandaid on even when he was perfectly fine? Because the beauty standing in front of him, excitedly calling him “Youngho Hyung”— wow, it’s been a hot minute since anyone has called him that— was a poorly veiled imposter. Johnny was dangerously close to calling the National Child Protection Agency if he did not get proof of life for the real Jung Jaehyun within the next five minutes. Okay, maybe Johnny can give it ten minutes, just so that Johnny can enjoy this beauty standing before him for as long as he can.
Baby is now giving Johnny the warmest hug of his life, seemingly oblivious to the nervous breakdown he sent Johnny into. And fuck, why does the innocent childhood nickname “Baby” make Johnny feel a little like a dirty old man?
“Our princess has returned!” At the sound of his childhood best friend’s voice, Johnny almost jumps as if caught with a bloody knife in his hand. In all the commotion, he forgot who he was supposed to be meeting up with in the first place.
Doyoung’s grip on his shoulder was uncomfortably tight. Johnny opened his mouth to express his discomfort but quickly changed his mind at the painfully polite smile on Doyoung’s face. Never in his wildest dreams did Johnny think that there would come a time when he found himself afraid of his friend of over two decades, Kim Doyoung, but here he is, trying his hardest not to let the absolute terror that is tearing up his insides show on his face. The polite smile was Doyoung’s murder face. That almost beatific-looking smile was like his childhood best friend’s warning shot. One wrong move and Doyoung would end Johnny’s pathetic existence. And his life had to be pathetic if Johnny was stooping so low as to be attracted to a 20-something-year-old minor. At this point Johnny has half a mind to turn around, head straight home, and go back to bed. Maybe if he retraces his steps, he’ll be able to start this random Thursday over and give it another try. Maybe during take two, Jaehyun will be 10 years old like he should be (Johnny generously added a couple years because it has been some time), and his best friend won’t be looking at him like he is moments away from making Johnny infertile. The only thing that is keeping him rooted in place is the part of him that will miss the feast for his eyes—that is, this Jaehyun imposter.
If looks could kill, Johnny would be in dire need of an ambulance, but if this babe pretending to be Jaehyun was his final sight, then he would not mind if he died in transit. He had hoped that one day he would get his shit together, and he would not be willing to risk it all for another boy with a pretty face. Risking it all for a girl or the occasional they is fine; at the end of the day he is just a man. But sadly, Johnny has always been weak for pretty things, and apparently pretty is pretty no matter the gender. Maybe Doyoung will put him out of his misery and manage to kill him with that creepy smile of his so that he won’t have to worry about being such a disaster anymore. But let’s be real, in what universe is Johnny that lucky?