Chapter Text
Summer 2004
When I was seven, all I wanted was a boyfriend my age. That was twenty-five years ago, and my ideal boyfriend’s age didn’t increase with mine. In fact, it decreased, regressing until it hit an age I didn’t think was possible to feel…anything for. That weird, nebulous realm where parents counted age in months instead of years. A baby. I could truly love a baby, I felt.
I was horrified at the start, fearing the burning lust that ripped through me whenever I came. Images of increasingly younger boys, with their smooth, powder-kissed flesh filled my addled brain, and the cumshots that tore out of throbbing cock scared the shit out of me. And yet every time I came once, I was always able to stroke myself to a second, shaking orgasm almost every time. Each time I revisited these fantasies, I tried to deny that I was fantasising about younger and younger children until you couldn’t confidently call them children anymore. Babies—they were babies.
Those early years as the dreaded “p” word were hard on my mind, and my raw cock. I hated admitting to myself that I was one and yet there I was, just me and my imagination wreaking havoc on my dick every night. I hooked up with men significantly older than me, to try and make a point (to myself, I guess). And while sex with them was fun, it wasn’t what my cock truly craved. Tiny holes. Smooth, unblemished flesh. Little pink penises that weren’t any longer than a couple of inches. No cum in their perfect little balls.
The denial phase lasted until my mid-twenties, when I hooked up with a man who turned out to be a filthy old paedo off of Grindr. He was a man in his seventies that loved them younger, and he loved that I was fifty years younger than him.
“Mmm, good little boy,” he groaned as he laid back and I sucked him off. Little boy. That was a tell.
I eventually coaxed it out of him that he was indeed a paedophile, and that he liked young boys that could still cum. Driven purely by arousal and excitement that I’d finally met another person like me, I admitted that I liked them even younger than him.
That was the first time I laid eyes on it.
Child porn.
Videos of teens, boys, and toddlers. Boys who wouldn’t be legal for years. The images I had fantasised about for years, in full colour before my eyes. Little cocks, little butts…in porn.
My entire body shaking, I asked him what the nastiest material he had was. Begrudgingly, like it was Pandora’s fucking Box, he put on a video of a baby. A fucking baby. New fucking kink unlocked.
The stroking session and the paedophilic sex that took place in that bedroom that night was the best set of orgasms I’ve ever had. And it changed the trajectory of my life forever.
Once I started accepting I was a degenerate pervert, I started discreetly scoping out every boy around. It didn’t matter where I was; I was pretending like I had X-ray vision any time I passed by an elementary school.
The best was whenever I was able to hook up with other paedophiles, dropping tells in my bios across the apps for the freaks to know. That was shockingly effective, if not just a bit risky. Over time, I collected a small troupe of fellow paedophiles in the city, and I would get with them one-on-one.
One such man lived in my area, not five minutes away. He was Mark; a young guy, a tatted-up jobless loser, who was honestly still attractive, but had bad habits and kept an unclean room in the basement of his sister’s house. He was pretty nice, but didn’t matter what I felt about him personally. He had kid porn and that was all that mattered.
“Hey, Jason,” he greeted me at his door, before he led me down the familiar path to his room.
“What time d’you start smoking, dude?” It stank of meth, his drug of choice. He stood there, already down to his boxers and pawing himself through them.
“I dunno,” he admitted; “couple hours now I guess.” I nodded, taking in the sight of him: his soft, slim-fat body, dark as mango-tree wood and dusted in curly black hairs all over.
I could see the tip of his beautiful cock peeking through the fly of his shorts, twitching already. Forgoing the mess, I sank to my knees and started sucking him off through the slit. His thick cock filled the space of my mouth, and I hefted his heavy balls against my palm.
Mark just sighed and let me get to work. From the corner of my eye, I could already see a child porn video on the far wall, coming through his projector. Of course.
We settled into our routine of sucking, kissing, touching, and stroking to the sights and sounds of child porn. His collection was massive. His favourite videos involved elementary-aged kids, but he always let me indulge in my baby sex fantasies. And I got fucking filthy with it, especially on days where I let Mark smoke me out too.
Deep in the throes of our stroke session, I lay my head on Mark’s hip, staring at his hard, leaking cock; purple, engorged, and delicious. He stroked furiously to a video of a eight year old boy kneeling to take adult cum in his mouth.
“Mírame,” said the man in the video in guttural, lust-filled Spanish; “mírame, hijo. ¿Quieres mi leche?” It was one of Mark’s favourites.
The boy had no time to respond as the man moaned, seized, and started shooting all over the kid’s tongue. At the same time, Mark stiffened and groaned, and strokes faster.
“I’m finna cum, Jason,” he moaned, and I watched his load stream out of his cock. That got me over the edge too. Our shared orgasm ripped through the thin clouds as cum covered our bodies. Delicious fucking paedo cum. I licked a couple of streaks off of Mark’s groin, and he smiled at the sensation.
I truly was a paedophile, with perverted friends, and I loved it. This underworld, this life, all of it—it felt fucking awesome. And it was always gonna be my terrible secret to keep it; I’d take it to my grave. I could’ve genuinely died with that as the final goalpost.
For a while, that worked just fine; this pattern of seeing Mark and other potential friends could’ve carried me to the end with no further developments. I never had to even touch a child.
Until my brother had his baby.
That was when my entire world shifted.
The day that his wife, my sister-in-law, gave birth, the kid was brought to the nursery while his mother rested. Before even our parents, I was one of the first people my brother asked to visit.
We sat in the hallway, separated by glass from the babies in the ward. I didn’t know which one was my nephew; all I knew was that if I stared too long, my mouth would start to water. All those little holes…
“His name is gonna be Leo,” my brother then said, smiling at me, and my heart swelled up three sizes.
“Dude,” I said, choked. “You didn’t have—” But he just put his hand up in my face.
“You’re the best big brother ever,” he said solemnly, his dark eyes firm; severe. “I love you so much, dude. And I know you’re going to be the best uncle to him. So you gotta let me do this for you. Okay?”
I didn’t have any words. Just nodded my head, a crazy mix of emotions bubbling up inside me. I couldn’t even name them all. My nephew…my name.
So it came to be that my nephew, Leo James Tiongson, wore my middle name as his first name. To him, I was just going to be Uncle Jason.
The first thing I did when I got home that afternoon was stroke.
My mind was reeling at the idea that I was stroking it to my brother’s newborn son. I was in physical anguish as I fought with myself on it, as I’d been doing for years already. Younger and younger boys, but never this. Never a newborn. Never my own flesh and blood.
And yet I still stroked my throbbing, enraged cock; my eyes glazed over, taking in the pictures my brother had posted on his stupid Facebook page. That tiny little life, swaddled in layers and layers of blankets, his little fists balled up next to his sweet, sleeping face. In some, he was smiling; in some, he had already having been given a pacifier.
It should’ve been my cock. Oh yeah. It should have. I pictured his thin little pink lips wrapped around my pulsing, red-brown cock head and I lost it.
“Leo,” I said through gritted teeth in the empty air in my apartment. “Oh—fuck!”
And the ropes of cum that raced out of me came to decorate my dining room floor. One, two, then four lashes of paedophile sperm hit the floor with a thick splatter. My chest was heaving; my head was dizzy with the effort. I felt sick. I felt incredible.
“Fuck, Leo,” I muttered, rolling over and watching my ceiling spin. Fuck my brother. That was my little baby. Mine.
Naturally, I didn’t let any of that show around my brother and his family. I couldn’t be thrown in jail, couldn’t be ostracised from my family and society at large—and worst, I couldn’t be taken away from Leo. So I kept cool, and after nearly a year, after the mother decided to finally return to work, I was afforded babysitting privileges. A year and change after Leo’s birth.
Finally.
My sister in law was returning to work in September. She was tripping all over herself apologising for the fact that she was asking me this favour; all the while I kept assuring her it was okay. Because who else would they ask besides their brother who had a work-from-home job and no dependants? What else could’ve made a better babysitter?
It wasn’t long at all before I found myself at my brother’s place, left with his dog and my nephew. I set my backpack down on the floor of their main entryway, hands shaking, and made my way to the nursery upstairs. The cloying smell of laundry detergent came to meet me halfway; I was accompanied by the dog’s excited clattering. I loved their dog greatly, but this wasn’t his moment.
“Buddy, not now,” I said, stroking the dog’s soft head. “We’ll play later?” Of course, he just panted at me, not understanding. I had to shut the door gently in his face as I made my way into the nursery.
Inside the tiny, yellow-themed room lay my prize. My sweet nephew Leo, just barely past a year in age. He was so angelic in his rest, his small, cute snoring filling the air. Fine black hair dusted his head, contrasting with his snowy Asian baby skin. My heart pounded and sent blood directly to my cock as I crept to the crib he was in.
“Hey, little guy,” I whispered to him, stroking his cheek with my thumb. He was unbelievably soft, and would be still for so many years of his life. He was just fourteen months old. Just an infant. And my paedophile ass had just been left alone with him. He barely shifted, he was out like a light.
Perfect.
My bones shook in my body, I was so excited. Naturally, I’d been waiting for this for months. It was so easy to convince my brother to put me on babysitting duty, to give me a day out of the week I could watch Leo solo. It was so easy…and now my little plaything was right there.
I savoured the moment deliciously as I peeled my nephew from his clothes. First, his little yellow blanket. Next, his adorable dino-patterned jammies, his little mittens and booties. All of it, so amazingly small. I wanted to keep it, but I couldn’t. And lastly, was his tiny, impossibly small diaper. His little teeny tiny baby diaper that was smaller than my whole goddamn head.
Slowly, mouth dripping, I pulled it off of him. I’ll never forget that moment that I smelled the combination of baby powder, diaper creme, and infant dick and balls all at once. It hit me like a truck; my cock throbbed violently, threatening to bust. Too soon, too soon, I thought with a sob.
There it was, in front of me. My nephew’s little package. His tiny pea-sized nuts in their wrinkly little pouch; his soft peepee, barely an inch. His little foreskin was still intact, thank fuck. His parts hadn’t yet darkened and wouldn’t for years to come. He was so fresh, so new. If I licked him, I wondered if he still tasted like the inside of his mother.
There was only one way to find out.
“Hi, Leo,” I cooed to the sleeping naked baby, taking in his soft shapes. His soft body, crowned by his teeny nipples. Those little fucking legs that would spread to reveal his cheeks I could hold in one hand.
And best of all…the real prize. His tiny baby pussy, pink and small. The tight little wrinkle of his baby hole, yet to be breached by anything. It was the virgin of virgins, and I had no doubt it would taste as such.
I couldn’t stand it; I had to have him. After years of fantasising about babies, the real thing was finally in front of me, and my lust couldn’t be contained.
Hands blurring, I pulled myself out of my pants and underwear, and I was standing there, cock jutting out from me. Six hard, brown, dripping inches, thick around as one of Leo’s little baby thighs, and would spread him out like a speculum. My cock inside of my nephew. Fuck. The thought was almost too much.
Leaning down, I took in my nephew’s smell. The closer I got to his baby pussy, with my cock twitching and dripping, the more I got the earthy-sweet smell of skin. Smooth, hot baby skin. My mouth was hanging open…so I pressed my tongue against him.
He didn’t stir. Didn’t whine. Just stayed peaceful as I got a mouthful of my nephew for the first time.
“Oh, fuck, Leo…” I moaned around his little pink wrinkle, tasting his sweet baby hole. My mind spun as I finally got to taste a young (young!) boy’s ass for first time in my life, salivating around his pussy. The taste was out of this world; the earthiness unlike anything else before. My eyes watered as I ate out my nephew.
He wouldn’t understand for years yet that this was pleasure. This was pleasurable for him, and for myself. I avoided touching my cock so I didn’t cum on the spot but fuck—was it ever hard.
A groaning sound was filling my ears as I feasted on my nephew’s infant hole, and it took me much too long to realise that it was coming from me. Guttural animal grunts rippling out of my body as I feasted on his baby pussy. As ravenous as I no doubt was, Leo didn’t wake. I felt emboldened to stick my tongue in him.
That made him twitch, and I felt his hole clench around the tip of my tongue. I tasted the inside of baby hole: slightly tangy, warm, and delicious. He grunted a little, stirring awake. Naturally, he had never had anything up there before.
Not yet.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I said to him, reaching up to touch his little body. I rubbed my thumbs over his teeny-tiny nipples, watching him blink himself to consciousness. His little starry black eyes opened, shooting an arrow right through my heart.
Fucking god, was he cute!
His face was mostly curious, confused. Tearing myself from his little hole, I gave him a smile, though I must’ve looked insane with drool and baby ass juice dripping from my mouth. Leo stared for a long few seconds, and then smiled back. I put my fingers in his unbelievably tiny hands, and he grabbed them out of that pure baby instinct.
With a genuine smile warming my face, I tilted my chin up to lap at his little nuts. He was still so young and small, he truly didn’t know what he was supposed to feel. It tickled; his little legs kicked of their own accord. He got my shoulders, but he was just a year-old baby; it didn’t hurt.
“Silly guy,” I muttered, and swallowed his baby penis.
“Uoooah?” Leo vocalised in his adorable baby voice. I sucked his little incher fully down. My chest was full with desire as my mouth was with baby peepee. His little pud was soft and tasty, tinny with the taste of baby powder. Slowly, I lifted off his ballsack and sucked him off. My knees went weak at the idea of giving my one-year-old nephew his first blowjob.
It was incredible. It was all I ever wanted.
Gently rotating my head, I swirled around his baby package, tasting his soft immature organ. His foreskin was soft and delicious, and I hoped to god he would stay like that his whole life. Unlikely, given how irritatingly Christian my brother had decided to become; at least I could taste underneath his baby foreskin before it was gone. He tasted warm, clean, and just a little tiny bit pissy. He was incredible.
“Oooh!” Leo gurgled, and kicked his little feet. With a low laugh, I continued to suck him off. He didn’t get hard, but his soft pud was the most delicious sensation in my mouth. Unbelievably pliable, I rolled his peepee with my tongue, savouring his amazing taste.
I couldn’t handle it anymore. Finally becoming the paedophile I was meant to be made mad blood pump through my veins. Hand trembling, I finally fisted my throbbing cock. Shuddering, I felt the flow of precum sliding down my paedo organ, slowly dribbling like strings into the rug below. Little panda bears stained with a pervert’s juices.
“So fucking tasty,” I growled around my nephew’s peepee, stroking my hard rod. “Such a good little baby boy.…” My hand was shaking as I gripped my perverted cock, pulsing with arousal.
Nothing would ever feel so incredible again. I could never again have sex with a man, as I would always be craving baby boy. Baby boy peepee, baby boy hole. I sucked harder, slobbering on Leo’s spermless balls. There would be nothing that came out of him except my own cum running out of his hole after I fucked him right open.
The image of my nephew‘s stretched out baby pussy, streaked with lube, spit, and cum. All of it, an adult’s—all of it, leaking out of a year old baby. My eyes watered; my mouth was twisted in a wide, wordless scream. I was stroking my dripping cock above a little baby. I was a fucking paedophile!
“Paedophile…paedophile…” I found myself panting, growling in between breaths. “Leo, I’m gonna fuck you. I’m gonna fill you with my fucking cum. You want that? Yeah? Cute little boy? You want your paedophile uncle’s load?”
As if in response, I heard him coo. And at the sound of his adorable baby voice, I lost it. Hand blurring, I let a screaming sob come out of me, and I shot. I shot and I shot and I fucking shot.
Uncountable lashes of cum tore out of my paedophile cock head and they covered my year-old nephew. My eyes watered as I took in the sight of an infant covered in adult cum—my adult cum. My entire body shook, my cock continued to shoot my sperm over his cute little crib sheets and blanket. His snowy, pink-kissed body, frosted like a paedo’s favourite dessert.
“Holy shit,” I groaned, collapsing over the crib. My nephew kicked and grabbed at my face, cooing in confusion. I panted deeply, taking in the smell of cum-covered infant. There could’ve been nothing more incredible. “Holy shit…” I repeated.
I was a complete mess as I pulled my pants back up and wiped my nephew off with his sheets. Stripping the bed, I balled the sheets up and made a mental note to wash them later. Leo looked no worse for wear, and whoever saw him wouldn’t know that his uncle had just shot a gigantic load all over him.
“Phew, alright, bud!” I said in a bright tone. “Why don’t we go hang out downstairs, eh? Wanna see doggy?” I bounced him in my arms, staring into his obsidian black eyes. How they sparkled.
Yes, a baby, I reaffirmed to myself as I settled into the couch with my beautiful nephew in my arms. I could fall in love with a baby. It was truly possible. I knew that now as I cradled this sweet infant, this child, my lover, in my arms.
I leaned down to his little face with a thin smile, and kissed his tiny lips. With the tip of my tongue, I licked the smooth ridges of his pink, toothless gums. Baby spit. It was delicious.
I couldn’t wait to do more with Leo. All I needed to do was bide my time. Just bide my time, and sooner or later, my cock would be fucking his tight little baby hole right the fuck open. Until then, it was us on the couch, with him in my arms and my cock re-hardening in my pants once more.