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Noisy. One word to describe the situation he was in. The sounds of bodies being thrown to the ground, the sounds of pistols casting the bullets, and the loud, painful scream didn’t want to stop ringing.
A night felt like forever.
“Oh, shit, I run out of mana!” Han Noah turned back, made a signal with a person behind him. “Junie, can you keep going?”
There was a determination in those blue eyes. The owner nodded with firm, full of confidence. “Just go.”
Noah brought his legs to run ahead. Faster and faster, every step filled with heated spirit. He nodded when he saw blue water shielding in front of him. Yeah. As long as we have each other.
Punches after punches, he managed to take down those black-costumed armies. “Damn, there’s no stop of it,” he mumbled, being surrounded by enemies around him. His breathing was uncontrolled, blood and sweat flowing down his face. That body was exhausted, mentality was tired.
It was then until he realized that the shield used to protect him had gone. What happened?! Since when? Noah looked back, didn’t care if he was being targeted. The only thing in his mind was Nam Yejun, a man he held dear.
He froze, his eyes widened in surprised. “JUN-AH!” Noah screamed as he saw the navy haired guy was being thrown out by a punch the other guy did.
Han Noah was in dazed. His body refused to fight back, no matter how hard he got beaten up. His head had gone blank. His mind wandered around.
Is this … the end?
Just when his eyes were about to shut off, he felt a drop of water on his cheek. Noah tried to open his heavy eyes. Although it was blur and unclear, and he couldn’t manage to touch it, that thing was the only one making him willing to try again.
A little dolphin made of water.
It didn’t stay long, means that the owner doesn’t have enough mana to maintain its form. However, at the very least, Noah knew that the person was still alive.
And that he should too.
Once again … let’s try again, for Junie!
He closed his eyes, focusing the remaining mana on all his wounds. It was the least thing he could do to stop his wounds from hurting him, even though that means he couldn’t use it to fight.
Every step he took leaving a trace of blood. He knew that sooner or later those masked men would chase after him, hence he sped up, bringing his legs to the place where his love being.
“….”
Quiet. The place used to be in chaos now was empty. Not a single person standing. There weren’t men in all black chasing after him. There weren’t banging sounds no more.
Because they managed to steal Nam Yejun’s soul.
Noah couldn’t feel his legs anymore. He slumped down, hands reaching out in trembled, trying to touch a body before him.
“No … ah-ya …,”
That hoarse voice snapped him back to reality. Noah drew that body closer, bringing it to his embrace. “Mhm.” He was choked, holding back his tears.
A hand full of blood lifted with trembled. The closed eyes were opened, although weren’t sure if they could still function. The lips curving up, showing off a pretty smile.
“Did we … make it?”
Han Noah burst in tears. He buried his face in that chest. He groaned his soul out, and it was too painful to be heard. Noah couldn’t get himself to say no, or simply shaking his head. The only thing he could do was crying, holding that person even more tight. “Sorry … I’m sorry ….” His voice was barely audible, but the man seemed to hear it well.
Nam Yejun stroked those blonde strands gently. A face full of bruise then lifted, facing after him. He brought his hand to cup the cheek, brushing the tears off that beautiful eye. Yejun remained still, feeling the warmth on that skin. He wanted to see that lethal face for one more second. He wanted to reminisce the last seconds of his life.
He sighed, yet still smiling. The memories of them being together suddenly played in his head. Days turned into weeks, weeks changed into months, and without him realized, that blonde guy had been in his side for almost two years.
All those times they fought together, protecting each other. Not a single day of him didn’t love a pretty guy named Han Noah.
And now, their story had come to an end.
“… It’s a shame that we ended up like this, but hey, we had such a good time, hadn't we?”
Those words didn’t do any better to his heart. Instead, Noah drowned in more agony. “Why … why can’t they let me have you? WHAT DID WE DO WRONG?!” he screamed, a voice full of hatred. He looked down to his love, heart broken in the view of the cry man.
If Yejun could be honest, he hated his fate too. He hated the fact that he had to go, to leave Noah, a person he loved most. He still wanted to stay, to spend yet another day with that man. Even if that day is full of chaos. Even if he has to fight and get hurt.
Nam Yejun just wanted to be with Han Noah.
A drop of rain was falling out of the blue. It didn’t take long for the whole place to be completely drenched. Together with that, Yejun coughed up blood. His hand on that cheek was sliding down, but Noah grabbed it tight, didn’t let it fall. Those eyes were heavy, asking to be closed.
“May we meet again … in a better place. A world where we don’t have to fight … nor to be hurt.” He couldn’t feel the warmth in his lover anymore, and that’s how he knew that his time was up. So he smiled, because he wanted Noah to see, that he died with a smile on his face.
“It’s … nice to love you, Han Noah. Thank you.”
The rain was getting heavier, but Noah couldn’t seem to hear anything. Anything, including Nam Yejun’s heartbeat or his ragged breath.
Only then did he realize that he was left alone.
No more war. No more new wounds. No more being chased.
And no more chapters to his life either.
Han Noah took a glance at a revolver beside him. Without much thinking, he grabbed it weakly. His hands weren’t shaking anymore. The movements were firm, didn’t have even the slightest doubt.
He pointed it to his head, his index ready to pull the trigger. Just when he was about to end the chapter, an unfamiliar voice greeting his ears.
“Should I rewrite your story, Han Noah?”
Noah lowered his hand, letting go of the revolver. He should’ve asked ‘who are you?’ in suspicion, but his mind was telling him not to. It was strange, but his instinct said to believe it. To believe in that voice he had never heard before.
“… Yes, please.”
He looked down, his hand stroking the cold face in his lap. The face lost its color, but somehow it was still pretty in his eyes. Noah brought it up to land a kiss on its forehead. He kind of regretted didn’t do it when the man was still alive.
“But both of you will not know each other. No memories from this life. You would start a new, fresh story. How about it?”
Noah chuckled. “Even better. Why should we remember this painful story? Right, Junie?”
Seconds passed and it was just silent. When finally the rain stopped, Noah felt sleepy all of a sudden. He then collapsed right beside his lover’s dead body.
“Alright, then, my dear character. As long as you two aren’t kissing, you’ll never remember this.”
Seoul, December 31st, 20xx
He pulled up the scarf on his neck, covering half of his face. It was snowing non-stop, but the road was too crowded. Of course, it was New Year’s Eve, after all.
As far as his eyes could see, everyone was bringing at least a person to keep them company. Either they were friends hanging out together, love birds acting all lovey-dovey, or families spending times in this New Year’s Eve. They have someone by their sides, but not with him.
It was only him and him only.
The bell ringing after he opened the door and brought himself in. He rummaged inside the coat, taking out a card and placed it on the table. “One hot Americano, please.”
A man with an apron took the card. His lips curved up in a gentle smile, the warmest smile he ever saw in this cold winter. “Alright, please wait for a moment.”
He was taken aback, his face felt hot all of a sudden. What a cute guy. He then looked around to kill the awkwardness. The café was strangely empty, despite it having a nice interior. Oh, right, it’s still new.
“Yejun-ah, is everything okay?”
He turned immediately at the voice he was familiar with. “William-ssi?!”
The man in question flinched. “Noah?!” He walked fast toward him, patting his back hard. “Ya! Why’s it so hard to reach you, huh?! Did you delete my number or what?!”
Noah just chuckled awkwardly while letting himself get beaten by the old man. “W-When did you move here, though? And opening a café, it’s not like you, Will-ssi.”
William giggled, pulling up the man in the counter, who just stayed quiet this whole time. “This is Nam Yejun, my nephew. Just like you, he’s a great vocalist, so I thought of making a café for him to sing here.”
Han Noah took a glance at the one in William’s hug. The guy was blushing that his cheeks reddened like a tomato. It was cute, he thought, and the fact that he’s also a singer made him wanted to know him even more.
“But well, he said he doesn’t wanna sing now, probably because he’s still shy. So now that we meet here, how about you persuade him to sing? You can sing here too, of course, I’ll be paying—”
“Alright, alright, I’ll think about it.” Noah got off from that hug, smiling with awkward. He took the coffee on the counter, planned to escape since earlier. “Well, then, I’ll get going first.”
The café was quiet yet again after that blonde left. William sighed, and Yejun just chuckled. When he was about to go back to clean up the kitchen, Yejun saw a card laid on the counter. It’s his card!
Yejun took off his apron, walking out of the counter with hurried. “Uncle, I need to go for a while. That person left his card!”
Just when he was about to open the door, William made him brought another stuff. “Then, give it to him too. Oh, and, since it’s New Year’s Eve, how about you make a new friend?”
Nam Yejun was flustered. “T-Then how about the caf—”
“Nah, don’t worry about it, just go!” William pushed him out and even smirked at him. “Be careful with the traffic light!”
He sighed, but didn’t have time to complain. He needed to find the holder of that card quickly. Thing is, he was still new to the place. Yejun was clueless of where to go, and it was almost midnight when the street got even more crowded.
A thing he hated the most whenever he was put in the midst of a crowd: the unreasonable anxiety would kick in.
Yejun didn’t understand why he hated the crowd that much. His body would tremble, and his breath would be uncontrolled. The doctor said that it was probably due to some trauma, but no matter how hard he tried, Yejun couldn’t recall any traumatic event in his life.
“… Yejun-ssi, aren’t you? What did you do here?”
A familiar voice greeting his ears and soothe him. Yejun looked up, a drop of tear fell off his eye.
The person before him approached in panicked. He grabbed his shoulders, helping him to sit on the chair nearby. “W-What happened? Did William nag you or something?”
Yejun shook his head fast, his blue hair moving cutely. He gave out a paper bag to Noah and rummaged his pocket to take a card out. “Here, you forget your card, and this is from Uncle.”
Han Noah took his card back, then opened the paper bag. “Yeah, I was about to go back to take my card. Sorry for the inconvenience.” He took bread out of the bag, giving it to Yejun. He also took off his coat because that navy haired guy seemed to forget to bring his own.
Nam Yejun remained still, letting the other put the coat on him. He finally got to calm down thanks to Noah.
Both of them stayed silent, focused on their own world. When finally the first fireworks had appeared, Noah looked up in impressed.
For the first time in his life, he has someone by his side to watch the fireworks together.
“… How about watching a movie in my house?” Those words just blurted out of nowhere, yet Noah didn’t regret it for some reason.
The blue hair didn’t immediately agree, but since it was a person his uncle knew, he decided to give it a go.
***
“Do you live with William? Would he be worried if you don’t come home by now?”
Nam Yejun shook his head while holding a plushie on the couch. It was a cute dolphin, his favorite animal. “It’s okay, I’ve told him that we’re gonna watch a movie.” He put the plushie back to its place after seeing the owner sat beside him.
Noticed that, Noah grabbed the plushie and gave it to Yejun. “You can have it if you like it.”
Of course, the other refused immediately, but Noah ruffled his hair with giggled.
“I actually didn’t know why I bought this. It’s not like dolphin is my favorite animal. I just feel like someday, it’ll meet with its true owner, and I think it’s you.”
Yejun could feel the hotness in his face despite the temperature was down to minus. He buried his face to the dolphin in his embrace. “Thank you,” he mumbled, barely audible.
Probably Noah didn’t hear, or wasn’t really interested. He was just nonchalantly playing with the remote, choosing about what to watch. “Is action okay?”
Oh, no. Action is the worst. Nam Yejun used to get bullied a lot because he couldn’t stand watching action movies. However, because of that reason, Yejun couldn’t bring himself to come clean to Noah. He doesn’t wanna be my friend if he knows it.
“Yejun-ssi?”
“A-Ah, yeah! Of course, why not!”
What’s with that reaction? Actually, Noah felt a little strange, but it wasn’t like he could ask what was wrong. They just met an hour ago, after all. It’d be uncomfortable for the other party if he asked too much. Well, he’s an adult. If he doesn’t like it, he’ll definitely say something.
Noah took a sip of hot chocolate while his eyes still locked on the TV. A sudden curiosity occurred to him that he couldn’t help but itching to ask a person beside him. “We seemed to be around the same age. What year did you born?”
Thanks to Noah’s question, Yejun could feel a bit calmer. “2001 on September.”
The blonde turned and smiled. “So I was right, huh, but I’m slightly older than you.”
That made Yejun acted awkward all of a sudden. “Ah, H-Hyung—”
“Nah, don’t make me feel old, you punk.” Noah ruffled those blue strands, making the owner closed his eyes and it was cute of him. He turned back to the screen when the music had finally started.
Yejun felt uneasy as the calm in his mind leaving him in an instant. He took a peek at the TV, the main thing hadn’t yet started. It’s just an anime, it shouldn’t affect me that much. Feeling the need to survive, he opened a conversation one more time. “Are you perhaps an otaku?”
It was then when Noah almost choked on his chocolate. “Ah, no. My cousin is, and he won’t stop yapping unless I watch it myself. He’s really annoying, you know.”
Noah looked cute when he pouted, he thought. Yejun giggled with the dolphin still in his arms. He tried to look at the screen, didn’t want to bother the blonde even more. He’s funny. Sometimes he’s a dependable hyung, another time he’d be like a baby.
Feeling that the younger lost his focus, Noah turned off the lamp before then putting his arms on his shoulders. He patted Yejun’s head gently. “It’s interesting, though.”
Blue eyes trying their best to focus on the big screen in the front. Yejun held the dolphin even tighter when the scenes began to get chaotic. A lot of characters appeared and the sounds were so loud. The screaming, the groaning, and the cringing sounds of the swords colliding with each other. He tried to gulp his own saliva but his throat was choked. Help ….
He didn’t realize when did those tears fell off his eyes, nor did he understand why his face was drenched in cold sweats. He just knew that his heart was pounding like crazy, as if it’d explode at any second.
“Hah … hah ….”
The trembling in his hands worsened, but his grasp was weakened, resulting in the plushie to get off and lying on the floor.
Fortunately, it brushed Noah’s leg. He took it off and turned at Yejun. “Why do—” The words hanging in the air. Noah was startled. He turned on the lamp immediately and turned the TV off so he could focus on the guy only. “Yejun-ssi?!”
Noah ran into the kitchen and back with a glass of water. He carefully helped Yejun to drink, but the man choked and kept on coughing. Lie if he wasn’t panicked. Noah didn’t even know what to do in that situation, but the least he could do was to not let the other knew. He brought himself closer to Yejun, bringing that guy in his embrace. His hands stroking on his back and his hair, trying his best to make the other feels safe.
A few minutes later, Yejun finally able to breathe properly, but the trembling hadn’t stopped and he cried more. He held the hyung's shirt tightly, snuggled up in his chest. Yejun didn’t know what to do with his own body, and he started to get scared even more. A question such as ‘what if Noah finds it strange and doesn’t want to be friends with him?’ haunted him down, messing with his head.
“Jun-ah! Look at me!” Noah let go of his embrace, cupping the younger’s cheeks so he would face him. He bit his lower lip, hesitating whether to do it, but seeing Yejun’s crying face made him couldn’t hold back even longer. “I’m sorry.”
He lifted his hand, brushing the bangs off Yejun’s forehead. Noah brought himself to get closer until there’s no gap between them. There, he planted a deep, gentle kiss on that forehead. He stayed there for a few seconds before then his hand moving down to cover the wet eyes. Noah took off his lips, brought them down to peck on Yejun’s. Seeing the man didn’t refuse, he opened his mouth and sucked on that lip.
“Hngh!” Yejun flinched a little but he chose to adapt. He followed along, sucking Noah’s lip and even played with his tongue. Whatever … as long as I can forget that frightening feeling.
They stayed in that position for over five minutes before then Noah decided to let go. “… S-Sorry—”
“Could you please hug me?” Yejun still trembled, but it wasn’t as bad as before.
Noah agreed and immediately brought Yejun in his arms. Once again, he stroked on that back. Softly, affectionately. When he thought that the guy had calmed down, Noah carefully asking, “Mind to tell me what happened?”
Nam Yejun let go of the embrace. He wiped his face with rough, gulping a glass of water in one go. “Actually, I can’t watch action movies at all. It’s not only that, but whenever I’m in the middle of a crowd, I’ll be scared for no reason, like I can’t control myself and I don’t know what to do.”
Noah frowned in confusion. Anxiety? But why? He doesn’t seem like a Hikikomori, though. He just nodded, giving back the dolphin to Yejun. “And why didn’t you refuse, then?”
The man in question looked down, afraid if Noah would hate him. “My friends bullied me because I can’t watch those kinda things, and I’m scared you would too. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable like that, I—”
“Heh, I ain’t a bastard, you know? Why would I make fun of a person who can’t watch a mere movie? Gosh, people are too much sometimes.” He pissed off, thinking about what Yejun’s been through this whole time. “Don’t worry, I’ll kick their asses if we ever meet.”
It made Yejun chuckled, taking all the burdens off his shoulders. He felt a comfort in Noah’s side, and he hoped they can be good friends after this.
“What, it’s almost three already? It’s okay if you stay the night, right?”
He hesitated, didn’t want to bother Noah even more. “Is it really okay for you?”
Noah tilted his head in confused, but then he understood why Yejun acted extremely careful like that. “It’s totally fine. I live alone, after all, but it’s too cold, so don’t ask to sleep here. Let’s just share the bed.”
Yejun widened his eyes, didn’t believe with what he just heard. “N-No, wh—”
“Zip. Zip your mouth.” Noah pinched that fluffy cheek then got into the bedroom, leaving Yejun with his hot and red face.
***
Blue eyes didn’t want to blink, the owner was in dazed. A view in front him was too much, he hoped to see it for a longer time.
Shit, what the fuck did I just think?!
A sudden realization hit, and Noah looked away in an instant. He felt hot in his face, hoping for it not to get red. “Thank God, I have oversized shirts.” Don’t stutter, you dumbass!
Nam Yejun got on the bed with a stuffed animal in his arms. At that time, he basically used all Noah’s stuff—his shirt, his body wash, his bed, and his plushie. “Thank you for lending me these, Noah.”
His eyes disappeared in the form of a crescent. His smile was beautiful, at least that was what Noah had in thought. Noah rolled his body to face the wall. He didn’t want to see that blue hair for now—no, he didn’t want that guy to see his tomato face. “Mhm, no worries. I’m sleepy, I’ll go to sleep first.” Of course, it was a lie. He wasn’t even sure if he can sleep.
Yejun put himself to lie down. He hugged the dolphin in his chest, closing his eyes tight. “Thank you, Noah. I hope we can get along well. Good night.”
Silent. No answers from the other party, but he actually heard it all vividly. No, Noah hadn’t asleep yet. He was wide awake. His heart beating loudly, he had to control his breath. Why does it feel strange to be around him? We just met, barely know each other, but it’s as if we’re connected. Ah, maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s time for me to open my heart to let someone in.
He sighed. For over two decades, Noah never thought of having a relationship with someone. He loves his job as a singer, and that was enough. The thought of having someone he holds dear somehow is frightening. You’ll get hurt if you lost something you love, and that’s what made him decided not to touch the word love at all.
… Let’s get some sleep first.
Noah closed his eyes and strangely enough, he fell into the deep sleep with quick. However, he saw something in there.
A terrible thing he believed was not merely a nightmare.
He could see it all vividly. Men in all black with masks attacking him and Nam Yejun. It was just the two of them, fighting those weird men while trying to protect each other. Until the time when he ran out of mana and got separated with the blue hair.
A crazy amount of memories suddenly came rushing in. Memories of the things he wanted to deny so badly. It’s just a dream! he repeatedly said, but alas, the scenes in front of him kept on going exactly like what those memories showed.
The puddles in his eyes made him couldn’t see with clear. No matter how many times he tried to brush them off, the tears still wouldn’t stop to flood out. Only then did he accept the fact that it was all not just a dream.
His chest was tight, as if something pushing him hard. His head felt like it’d explode at any moment. Noah slumped down on his knees, holding his chest hard. It hurt, it was painful. The most painful thing he ever felt in his entire life.
“… Han Noah, I’ve granted your request. From now on, the rest of the story would be in your hands.”
It was the same voice from before. A voice whom he didn't know but believed just like that.
Noah looked up in dazed. “But you said we won’t get to remember our past.”
Silent. No answers from the voice, nor did he expect to get one. Noah was tired, he didn’t know how to face Yejun when he wakes up later.
Right when he already shut his eyes tight, the voice came back with an answer.
“Yes, but you kissed him. You pulled the trigger yourself, Noah.”
Noah just responded with a sigh. “Yeah. Whatever.”
A few minutes later, he realized that he’d gotten back to reality. When a sound of sobbing vaguely reached his ears, Noah opened his eyes wide immediately. His breath was ragged, and his cheeks wet of tears, but he didn’t have time to care more. His beloved one was crying in his sleep, and that was what important for him. “Jun-ah … Jun, wake up!”
Noah shook that body, from gently to harshly, because the guy didn’t want to open his eyes. He began to overthink. What if he has the same dream?! Noah brought him to his embrace, trying his best to calm the younger, when in fact he himself was trembled. “It’s okay, I’m here now. It’s okay, Junie … everything’s gonna be okay.” He landed a kiss on Yejun’s forehead.
Finally, those orbs were opened, showing off the sapphires that still wet of tears. Their eyes met for a few seconds before the sapphires burst even more. “Kiss me!”
Yejun grabbed Noah’s shirt and he was flinched in surprised. “W-Wait, Junie—”
“JUST KISS ME, DAMN IT!”
It was the first time Noah saw Yejun yelling like that. The first time in this life, to be precise.
Noah grabbed Yejun by his nape, drawing him deeper in his embrace. He opened his mouth and sucked on that lip with eager. His tongue played with the other’s, creating a commotion inside.
The kiss was different than before. It was full of mixed emotions. Frustrations, sadness, anger, but also love and possession. The feeling of yearn. The need to claim each of their own.
“Hnghh, ahh,” Yejun kept on moaning while he put his arms around Noah’s neck. He felt a gentle hand stroking his cheek, so he chose to open his eyes and locked straight at the view before him.
The blonde got on top of him, trying to catch his breath. Noah looked down. From brushing the hair to stroking the face, his fingers moved on their own. “Nothing changed. You’re still as beautiful, my dearest Yejun.”
Yejun cried in the words, but he curved his lips up. “You too, Noah, my prettiest princess.”
They giggled, their noses touched each other’s. Noah started a kiss one more time. He tightly grasped Yejun’s hand on top of the pillow, letting go of those lips and moved down to the neck.
“Ahh!”
Noah bit on it, leaving a trace of a bite mark. “You’re mine, Nam Yejun.”
Yejun could only shut his eyes and hold back. There was seriousness in Noah’s words, and he understood it better than anyone else. Yejun immediately submitted to the hyung’s dominance. He let him did whatever he wants to his body. “Nghh, N-Noah …,” His hand squeezed tight on Noah’s shoulder as the guy kept on sucking his neck, like a vampire who’s thirsty for blood.
Noah moved down to the chest, lifted the shirt so he could lick on the buds. He let go of his hand, and Yejun grabbed his hair immediately. “Huu … can I continue?” Noah looked up, asking for a confirmation. The view in front of him was lethal, but he needed to hold back. Not before Nam Yejun agreed to it himself.
The blue hair reached out to the blonde, stroking his cheek with gentle. He smiled, eyes screaming love and lust. “Mhm, do it.”
Little did Yejun knew, at that very moment, he was going to die again for the second time.
***
The vibration on the phone woke him up forcefully. He tried to open those eyes, although he was struggling much. He felt heavy on his waist, and turned out, a hand was embracing him tight. Nam Yejun blink multiple times before he snatched a phone on the nightstand. It was Noah’s phone. A message appeared on the lock screen.
Hyung, have you watched it?
Hyung? Yejun stared at the phone for quite some time. Haminie? A guy? Calling him hyung? His lips then curved up in bitterness. He put the phone back on its original place. Heh, talk about possession.
He carefully let go of Noah’s tight embrace. Seeing Noah’s shirt he was wearing last night laid down miserably on the floor, Yejun quickly took it up and wore it. Just when he was about to walk out, a massive amount of semen flooding out of his hole. He sighed, his face was hot. Yejun ran into the bathroom immediately. Damn it, Han Noah!
Fifteen minutes later, he got off the bathroom. He sighed a relief as the guy on the bed hadn’t yet woken up. Yejun brought his legs toward the bed. He stroked the blonde strands and slid down to the soft cheek. I’m sorry, Noah, but I love you, I really do. He bowed with careful, didn’t want to wake the princess. Gently, Yejun pecked on his forehead. He stayed there for a while, leaving a deep kiss on that place.
Goodbye again, my princess.
He got off the bed, snatched off his phone and walked out of the room, leaving Noah all by himself, once again.
***
Han Noah was in a mess.
Just last night he was able to sleep peacefully, reunited with the lover he was deadly longing for and ended up spending a crazy night together. Who ever thought that the same guy would leave him again? Not after both of them finally knew each other.
Did I do something wrong? Was it the sex? Man, I just realized I was still a virgin till last night! Noah ruffled his hair in frustration. Without thinking much, he grabbed a coat and a car key, getting off the house with only one destination in mind: a café.
Meanwhile, on the other side, Nam Yejun had come back to work. After feeling his uncle’s suspicious gaze toward him, he halfheartedly decided to wear a turtleneck. Even until now, he still caught William taking a glance at him with eyes full of suspicion.
Didn’t he say he spends the night in Noah’s house, watching a movie? Wait, there’s no way … but wait, it’s not impossible, though? Ah, but, doesn’t Noah not want to have a relationship this whole time? William’s head was full of questions since the time he picked his nephew up. The amounts of bite marks on that young man’s neck were insane to the point of people would immediately aware. At first, William was glad that his loner nephew finally made a friend with a person he knew well. However, things were getting quite odd now, especially when Yejun left the house alone, without Noah’s appearance to at least say goodbye. Did they have a fight? But they just met—
“Uncle, I gotta go to the bathroom.”
Yejun’s words interrupted his noisy head. “Oh, yeah, take your time!” William immediately walked in the counter. Right when he was about to daydream again, the person who’d been going on his mind finally appeared.
“Hah … William-ssi, where’s Yejunie?” Noah came onto the counter with panting. His hair was crazily messy, he didn’t even tighten his coat.
Of course, William’s suspicion was increased, but he thought to back off since both of them were adults already. “Bathroom. Wait here, it won’t take long.” He gave a bottle of water to Noah. It's okay, right? I’ll help Yejun out if this guy dares to hurt him.
Noah was almost choked when he drank the water as his eyes caught a familiar person walking by. “Cough! Jun-ah!” He walked into the counter to chase after the blue hair, didn’t care if the owner—William—was still there. “Junie, wait! What’s wrong with you?!”
Yejun looked at his uncle, asking for help. “… Please, don’t disturb me. I’m working right now.”
Noah frowned in confused, but before Yejun had to say something again, he interrupted with firmly. “Alright, I’ll work here too! I can, right, William-ssi?”
Both Yejun and William widened their eyes in disbelief, especially Yejun, he didn’t expect to that blonde to be that stubborn. However, he then sighed with rough. No, I forgot. He doesn't change at all, still as stubborn as ever.
A few minutes later, William opened the locker behind him. He took out an apron and gave it to Noah, ignoring the disbelief in his nephew’s eyes. “Sure, do whatever you like.”
Felt betrayed, Nam Yejun grabbed William’s hand, begging him to stay. “What are you doing, Uncle?! What if he messed up—”
“He used to help at the cafés after he performed.” William tried to get off Yejun’s grasp. He patted the guy’s shoulder, looking him straight in the eye. “Yejun-ah, you’re a man, right? If you have a problem, face it and solve it. Don’t run away, okay?”
Silence. The atmosphere became awkwardly quiet after William walked out of the café, leaving those two alone with their own minds, until the blue hair chose to open his mouth.
“You can wash the dishes, can’t you? I’ll be the cashier.” Yejun rummaged the drawer, pretending to be busy. He used to pray for the café not to get too crowded, but for the first time, he hoped that there were many people visited.
Noah clenched his hands but tried to hold back. No matter how frustrating it was, he shouldn’t explode at the one he loved, especially with Yejun’s current condition. He looked around, making sure that the café wasn’t busy. Noah approached him slowly. This time, he didn’t make any physical contact at all. “Junie, did I do something wrong? Could you please just tell me?” Nah, I don’t recall making a mistake, though.
Yejun stopped for a while, but he didn’t want to even took a glance at Noah. “No? I don’t even remember what did we do last night. Was I fainted after we watched the movie?”
The calm he tried so hard to build gradually lost its shape. Noah could feel the rage started to get over him. His head was boiling that he almost punched the mirror behind him. “What kinda nonsense you’re talking about, Nam Yejun?” Noah slapped the counter with harsh to the point it made the younger flinched. “What did you forget? The sex? The dream? Are you sure you don’t remember that you cum all over the dolph—mmph!”
Yejun’s face was flushed as if all the blood got up to his head. He stuffed a doughnut into the blonde’s mouth, hoping for it to shut up. “Zip … zip your mouth.”
Noah widened his eyes in disbelief. He was coughing as he tried to gulp the doughnut in one go. “See?! Cough, you’re lying!”
Yejun pinched the bridge of his nose. He was too dizzy to respond to that petty princess. However, right when he was going to step out for a while, there was a commotion coming from one of the tables. Yejun walked toward it immediately, ignoring Noah, who kept on calling him.
Arrived at the source of the ruckus, Yejun politely asked one of the girls who was standing. “Excuse me? Did something happen?”
The girl turned to him and she flinched a little. “Ah, Oppa, uhm, she accidentally bumped into her and it broke the glass. They somehow fight, then … well, they’re girls, after all, haha.” She got awkward all of a sudden but instead of feeling shy toward Yejun, she felt shivers down her spine as there was a sharp glare piercing into her soul. What was that?! Did the blonde just glare at me?!
Yejun turned to Noah, pointing out at the crowd. “Noah, ask them if there’s something needs to be replaced. I’m gonna clean the mess.”
Noah just nodded, doing things exactly like what his love asked. He walked past the crowd, trying to be patient with the people inside. With a pen and a small note in his hands, he wrote down everything the customers asked. However, when he finally finished and about to go back to the counter, he heard a girl started yelling at Yejun’s place.
“Ya! There’s blood in that spot, why the fuck don’t you clean it first?! It’s gross, ew!”
Noah who just got there was frowned in confused. He looked at his love who was hesitating, and a girl who was standing in displeased. Noah brought his hand to touch at the red stain on the floor. He then sighed rough. “It’s just strawberry jam, Noona.”
It made the girl flush in embarrassment and decided to leave as people started to boo at her. Noah then helped Yejun to get up and go back to the counter. “You okay?” he asked as they walked together. His eyes caught a glimpse of a person he knew walking into the café. It was William.
“… Did something happen?” William asked, pulling up his nephew’s hand. “Jun-ah, why’re you bleeding?”
Noah was panicking. He snatched off that hand, taking a look at it intensely. “Why didn’t you say anything?!”
Meanwhile, Yejun hesitated yet again. “I wasn’t even realized.”
Noah just hissed. He gave out the notes in his hand to William. “Here, the request from the table number five. I’m gonna treat Yejun’s wound first.” He then dragged Yejun into the restroom, ignoring the fact that he was just giving an order to the café’s owner.
Yejun just followed around wherever the blonde was taking him. He stayed still and let him did everything to his wound. Yejun was thankful yet again because if it weren’t for Noah, he didn’t know how to handle that customer. “… Thank you for earlier.”
“Hmm, not a big deal. Why didn’t you just say it anyway? Did you also think that was blood too?” asked Noah, still focused on treating Yejun’s wound.
The blue hair didn’t answer. Instead, he gently brushed Noah’s strands, making the owner look up in surprise. Yejun was about to take his hand off until the blonde grabbed and put it on his cheek.
“Jun-ah, tell me. Why are you like this?” The voice was hoarse, full of emotions. Noah tried to gulp up the tears that were stuck in his throat. After all what happened between them, he still had a soft spot for his Yejun. “Please, come back to me … I can’t live without you, not anymore.”
Yejun wiped a tear off Noah’s corner eye. One of his weaknesses was when the princess cry. “… We can’t, Noah. I’m not the same as my old self. I can’t protect you anymore.” He tucked the strands that were covering Noah’s eye to his ear. With that, he could finally see a pretty face he loved most. “I see the world differently from you.”
Noah couldn’t hold it anymore as the words coming off Yejun’s mouth were making him burst. “What do you mean?! Give me another reason! I can’t understand that one!”
Of course, you won’t understand. Yejun got up, brushed the tears off once again. No words coming out of his mouth. He just walked off, leaving the other alone with his tears.
Nam Yejun, too, wanted to hold those hands again, to embrace that body again, and to walk side by side with a man named Han Noah again. If only Yejun could throw away all his egos, but no, he was determined.
Han Noah deserved someone else. Someone better than him, who could see the same world as the way he sees.
***
It was three in the morning when Noah stuck in the studio, focused on the song he listened with headphones on his ears. No, it wasn’t something serious. He was actually still on hiatus, hence he didn’t agree right away when William asked him to perform on the café.
Noah just enjoyed being there. Whenever he felt like his life was going to crumble, he would stay there and do nothing. That studio had become a witness of his madness. It had been hours since he tried to forget about what Nam Yejun said, but the more he tried, the more it haunted him.
Suddenly, the glass door was opened and a middle-aged man coming in. There were hot coffees in his hands. He then took a sit right in front of Noah. “Busy much?”
Noah shook his head, taking off the headphones and sipped the coffee. “I’m still resting my throat, though.”
William just nodded. He came straight at the young man’s studio right after he tried talking to his nephew. For him, both Yejun and Noah were like his own sons. He just wanted to help those two out. “Yejun told me everything about the problem at the café earlier. Thank you for helping him.”
The blonde wasn’t interested, so he just shrugged. “It was just a misunderstanding, though, not a big deal. The customer thought there was blood on the floor, when it was actually just a jam.”
“Was there any other jam beside it? Like, another one with green-colored?”
Noah frowned, trying to recall the event. “Hmm, I think there was melon jam? The cakes that got thrown to the floor have melon and strawberry jam in them, I guess.”
“Ah, I see.” William sighed with a soft smile on his face. “Well, what did he say to you that makes you do a camping here?”
Even though he didn’t understand, Noah started to get curious. “He sees the world differently from me? Something like that.” He put his hands on his chest, glaring with eyes full of suspicion. “What? He hides something from me, doesn’t he?”
The other was chuckled before he nodded. “Mhm, but I don’t have the right to tell anyone, including you. Yejun asked me to keep it a secret.” He then locked straight at his phone, scrolling through the gallery. “However, since I’ve betrayed him earlier at the café, I might as well betray him again, right?”
Noah snatched a phone in those hands. The phone that showed off some pics which looked like test results. He was frozen, couldn’t let out a single word. All things started to make sense now.
Finally, he could understand Yejun’s words.
“Did he sleep already? I need to talk to him!” Noah got up, snatched a coat on his chair with hurried. He threw a key onto William, and it was for his studio.
William played with the key as if understood with the assignment. “Nah, he was at the rooftop earlier. You better hurry because he seemed sleepy alr—”
The words hanging in the air as the other party chose to leave without trying to listen to the rest.
Noah was hurried into the car, but he got off and ran into the house again—to be precise, he was running into his room. Good thing he had washed the plushie, so he could take it with him. “You, do your job! Make Nam Yejun come back to me, okay?!” He finally got into the car and left immediately with only one place in mind: William’s house.
Luckily, the house wasn’t far from his. It only took fifteen minutes for him to get off the car with a cute dolphin in his hands and ran toward the rooftop. Noah sighed a relief after seeing the person he loved was still there, laying down on the grass. He tried to catch up on his breath before finally yelling, “Nam Yejun!”
The owner of the name got up with a face full of surprise. He really didn’t expect for that blonde to come, especially in that hour.
Seeing the guy just stayed still, Noah walked fast toward him. He immediately locked Yejun on the fence as it was the only way to keep him from run away.
Both of them were panting, their breaths marking the cold air. Noah held Yejun’s hand, pinning it on the fence too. In just a split second, he moved closer to suck a lip in the front.
Of course, the younger was shocked. It was too overwhelming that he could do nothing but moan. Yejun tried to push a shoulder before him, but instead, it just made the other close their gap even more. “Hngh!”
Noah put his hand around that slender waist, which got welcomed right away. He held it tight while slowly letting go of that mouth.
Again, the sounds of breathing intertwined. Everyone could see that both of them were trying to control both of their breaths and their sanity.
“… It was so nice to love you, Junie, and I’ll be doing it again.”
The sudden words from the blonde made Yejun burst in tears. He knew just how much a stubborn Han Noah used to be. He should’ve just gave up the moment they got their memories back, because no matter what happened, that person would never let go of his hands.
Noah brought his hand to wipe the tears off the younger’s face. He cupped on those cheeks, making sure the owner to look straight at him. “Jun-ah, I love these eyes of yours. These sapphires, they’re so beautiful.”
Yejun shook his head fast. There was desperation in that face. “No, you don’t understand! I … I can’t even see your favorite colors anymore … I was nearly worsened the situation at the café if it weren’t for you ….”
Noah just stayed still, listening to all Yejun’s words. He knew just how hard it was for Yejun, but Noah wanted him to understand that despite everything, he would stay by his side. If Yejun pushed him away, Noah would hold those hands even tighter. If Yejun tried to run away, Noah would chase him after, no matter where.
“… So what if we see the world differently? Don’t you remember? We used to see the same world, both you and I, and what? It didn’t work, right?”
Yejun closed his eyes tight, feeling the warmth in that embrace. “But I’m scared, Noah ….”
Instead of continued to hold him tight, Noah let go and held those shoulders with firm. “What are you scared about, huh?! There’s no Caligo now … we don’t need to experience that meaningless war! We aren’t fugitives no more, no one will haunt us down, so tell me … tell me, what makes Nam Yejun, a man used to protect me with his shield now’s being this scared?”
Yejun clenched tight. His heart began to hesitate.
“Is it because you can’t see me in my favorite colors anymore? Or because you won’t know whether it’s jam or blood? If there are only colors in your head, why do you forget about the color of love itself?”
Noah let go of those shoulders. He bowed down to take a stuffed animal on the grass. His lips curved up in a gentle smile. His eyes were as calm as the blue sky. He held the plushie in hands, putting it between them.
“Let’s give this world a chance, Yejun-ah.”
A hand snatched off that dolphin before then hugging the blonde tight. The owner was groaned, couldn’t bring himself to answer, but he nodded fast, a sign that he did agree.
Han Noah could finally sigh in relieved. He answered that hug with even more tight. The man he loved most finally got back to his embrace and he couldn’t get any happier.
However, Yejun suddenly pushed him away a little bit harshly. He pouted while holding the dolphin in his arms. “But don’t you have somebody else already?”
“What do you mean?!” Noah almost whined.
“Wha—he called you Hyung! Haminie, isn’t it? Or, do you have a brother in this life?”
As he remembered something, Noah rummaged on his coat and took out his phone. He went across a room chat before showing it right in front of his man’s eyes. “Is it this one?!”
Yejun nodded in displease, and it made Noah burst in laughing.
“… He is my otaku cousin.” Noah’s voice was barely audible as he tried his best to hold back his laughter. “Pfft, ahh, what should I do? My man loves me too much that he got jealous over a single chat.”
Nam Yejun didn’t know what to do anymore. His face was boiling red and it felt so damn hot. He chose to walk away with a dolphin covering his whole face, but a hand grabbed his, demanded him to stay. The sapphires took a glance and were welcomed by the other blue eyes.
“Junie, thank you for being born again.”
His lips curved up in a gentle smile. He let the man pull up his hand and kiss it. “Mhm. Did we make it?”
Noah was chuckled, bringing himself close to smooch on that cheek. “Of course, we did.”
They stood there for quite some time, holding each other in tight embrace. Sometimes they would kiss, another time they would laugh, or even cry. Once again, they were fell in love, with the same persons but different story.
Nam Yejun finally met a person who will stay by his side, accepting his weaknesses and loves him the way he was, and Han Noah was finally braved enough to open his heart and let someone in, for the rest of his life.
From then on, their new story would continue, unlike the old ones.