CRASHOUT CRASH AND BURN

by VeryCrunchyPretzels

Summary:

shrimpo is sick and tired of his boyfriend destroying his brain like this, but sprout doesn't agree to stop.

 

this is canon to my other fic, Airy's World, but feel free to read it on its own

Chapter 1: break up breakdown

Summary:

sprout refuses to stop being a stoner at the cost of his boyfriend

"come oooon shrimpo. it's just a little bit of pot, it's not gonna kill you."

sprout's voice was sugary sweet as always. his expression a perfect pleading pout. he shook the little sandwich bag in his hand, it's contents shifting around in a slew of green flakes.

shrimpo's face scrunched up. he could almost smell it. it was revolving to him, he couldn't understand why sprout liked it so much. every time he tried to hang out with him, it was more of the same.

"hey shrimpo! wanna smoke weed with me?"

his bedroom smelled disgusting. reeking of the stuff constantly.

you could always tell when sprout was high. he was overly calm towards everything. the usually worry and overprotectiveness that characterized the strawberry was just gone. replaced by someone who wouldn't blink if you fell on the train tracks in the lobby. that and his eyes were so bloodshot you'd think he was going twisted.

sprout batted his eyelashes, crouching on his knees to be at eye level with his tiny partner.

"you need to relax more.." he purred.

shrimpo scowled at him.

"you think weed's gonna make me relax???" he spat, crossing his arms and turning his head away from sprout.

sprout shrugged, but shrimpo wasn't looking. "it helps me relax..." he muttered.

"it changes you, sprout. i hate it when you do drugs. i hate it." shrimpo took a few steps back, eyeing the door. he wanted out. he didn't want a repeat of last week.

sprout's laughter swirled around shrimpo's head, thick as the smoke in the air. his eyes felt dry, but watered all the same. he needed a bath. he needed water. he needed to get out of here. the stinging headaches and nausea of being on dry land only amplified by the powerlessness he felt now. anxiety gripped his body and gave him goosebumps he couldn't shake. he felt like he was being watched by something just out of sight. some predatory being waiting to make him it's meal. but he knew he was alone here. alone on a bed with sprout seedly. he reached up to rub at the nubs where his antenna used to be. he could almost see them back in their rightful place. but it wasn't real. he was just seeing things. he couldn't feel them. it hurt so goddamn bad.

"isn't this nice?" sprout's words were slurred and slow. the kind of tone you'd use when explaining something to a child. sprout clambered over shrimpo's small form, placing his hands on either sides of his face, rubbing circles into his cheeks. "you look so pretty right now..."

i don't feel pretty.

it hurts.

it hurts.

it hurts.

IT. HURTS.

"get OFF." without warning shrimpo shoved sprout away with all four of his arms and all the strength he could muster in this state. he was uncoordinated. sprout didn't move too far, flopping down onto the bed limp like a ragdoll, still close enough to be touching shrimpo. he needed to get out of here. he could feel something warm and wet sliding down his cheeks. it took his brain too long to catch up and register that he was crying. he tried to get up, but another wave of nausea hit him like a brick wall to the back of the head, sending him tumbling to the floor. he faceplanted, clutching his stomach with his lower arms.

MAKE IT STOP.

shrimpo rolled onto his side, willing himself not to vomit. "you're no funnn..." sprout complained, pouting as he peered over the edge of the bed. he looked twisted. his eyes were bloodshot, and his stupid leafy hair was messed up and crinkled. shrimpo half expected vines to shoot up from the ground and trap him there. maybe if he was lucky, they'd kill him and end his suffering.

shrimpo locked eyes with his boyfriend. but they weren't his own anymore. sprout seedly was gone. replaced by whoever this was. if sprout seedly were here, he'd get up, scoop shrimpo into his loving embrace and help him feel better. he'd stop it from hurting. that was what he did best. that's why shrimpo fell for him in the first place. this monster impersonating him just stared, laughing at his misfortune. this was not sprout seedly.

"I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO DRUGS." shrimpo jerked his shoulder away from sprout's hand. his face contorted in a kind of anger sprout had never seen from him before.

shrimpo turned and pointed at him. "IT MAKES ME FEEL DISGUSTING. AND IT MAKES YOU AWFUL."

"it's not that bad." sprout held his hands up. he'd already dropped the bag on the ground. shrimpo wanted to pick it up and throw it away so badly, but he held back the urge.

"and anyways, you've done it before and it wasn't a big deal." sprout pointed out.

wasn't a big deal? WASN'T A BIG DEAL???? I WANTED TO CLAW MY INSIDES OUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT "WASN'T A BIG DEAL"?? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID??

shrimpo seethed, but he didn't air his thoughts. he didn't want to yell at sprout, not while he was off it. not while he was his normal, loving boyfriend. especially with the way he was looking at him. with those puppy dog eyes. but it was clearly an act. shrimpo couldn't deal with the peer pressure he was trying to inflict onto him.

"i'm not doing it."

shrimpo turned to leave again, but sprout grabbed one of his wrists.

"please?"

shrimpo jerked his hand away. "NO!"

"why are being so mean about this?" sprout cried, feeling hurt. shrimpo frowned at him.

"i know you like the way it feels, but i don't. and besides, you're like a completely different person when you're high!" shrimpo hissed. he finally made it to the door. he was almost free.

"why can't you just support me??" sprout yelled, collapsing onto his knees. "i can't be the person everyone wants me to be all the time! it's so fucking exhausting having to care so much! i need this, shrimpo. i need some way to unwind from all the stress i'm under!"

"ever tried yoga?" shrimpo spat. "you're destroying your brain, sprout. i don't want to be a part of that!"

"FUCK YOU THEN!"

shrimpo froze. he could hardly believe those words left the other's mouth. his sweet, kind, caring boyfriend. saying something like that. a pit opened up in his stomach. he felt like he was going to puke.

"I DON'T NEED YOU, SHRIMPO. IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THAT THIS IS SOMETHING I'M GONNA DO, THEN MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER!" sprout yelled, standing up and backing away until his legs hit the edge of his bed.

shrimpo didn't know how to react.

you're breaking up with me...?

tears welled in his eyes. he'd never felt so betrayed by anyone. sprout was choosing drugs over him.

he couldn't let sprout have the satisfaction of hurting him.

"FINE. MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T." shrimpo grabbed the doorknob. "I HATE YOU, SPROUT SEEDLY."

he slammed the door behind him, immediately sinking to the ground and hugging his knees, sobbing.

i hate you...

Chapter 2: i bet you thought we were done here

Summary:

sprout makes a show of his hatred for shrimpo.

this is why sprout got banned from cooking btw.

sprout paid no mind to anyone he shoved his way past on his way to the kitchen. his mind was somewhere else. a stupid face infested his brain. the face of someone he thought he could trust.

he had let shrimpo see him at his most vulnerable. he let him see what he did to cope. and shrimpo went and stomped all over it. the nerve of that guy!

he didn't fucking deserve him.

he never deserved sprout's attention.

he was just a stupid common. sprout was a main. a very popular main, at that. he was way out of shrimpo's league from day one.

who the hell does he think he is, saying no to him like that?

sprout stamped his foot on the ground. anger seething from him in waves, only amplified tenfold by how stoned he was.

the kitchen was quiet and barren when he got there. an invisible force seemed to guide him towards the freezer drawer, out of which he pulled a bag of raw shrimp. a manic grin crossed his face as it hit him exactly what he should make to get back at that jackass for what he did to him.

(aka nothing sprout is the problem here ^^)

yes.

surely this would make him feel better.

he just had to gather the rest of the ingredients.

he was lucky they still had some rice leftover from the other day. fried rice was a recipe made for leftovers. it simply didn't work as well with freshly cooked rice. he felt his face soften at the memory of seeing cosmo making onigiri while he was baking.

cosmo...

cosmo wasn't like shrimpo. cosmo wasn't judgemental. cosmo was a good friend. cosmo wouldn't care if he got a little buzzed every now and then.

shrimpo...

his scowl returned the moment he started thinking about his boyfriend- no- ex. the word stung bitter in his throat.

ex.

sprout dug the soy sauce out of a cabinet, along with sesame oil and msg. he grabbed eggs from the fridge, and a bag of frozen peas. then some shallots, can't forget shallots.

somewhere along the lines he'd grabbed another bag of raw shrimp. he didn't need two, but, well, he was using two whole bags now, wasn't he?

he dropped the wok haphazardly onto the burner, turning the heat up all the way before leaving it like that to chop the shallots. he put some canola oil into the wok before shoving the shallots off the cutting board into it. oil splashed up and burned his hand, but he didn't pay any attention to that. next the eggs went in. he stirred them to break the yolks then promptly forgot how much time it takes to cook eggs, which isn't a lot by the way, in favor of dumping the rice in far too early.

mind you, if you're working with raw shrimp you ought to cook them first before anything else. unfortunately for sprout, the text on the bags that said "raw" was really tiny and he probably didn't see it. after stirring the eggs and rice together he did end up adding the shrimp. both bags too. too much shrimp for the amount of rice he had.

in his mind this was just the twisted justice shrimpo deserved for making him feel like he was a "bad person" for methods of coping. of course sprout isn't a bad person! shrimpo is always bullying everyone! shrimpo is way worse than him!

and yet the imagery sprout's brain conjured up as he stirred the rice, that this was shrimpo's flesh that he was cooking, not just some nobody shrimp from the ocean... oh he reveled in that idea.

in went the soy sauce, and a bit of sesame oil. not enough to overpower the overwhelming amount of shrimp in the dish. some msg. then he put the peas in just as the rice he'd neglected to stir at the very bottom started to burn from the high heat.

he stirred it a little more. it smelled fine, all in all. anything with soy sauce in it was bound to smell appetizing at the very least. was the shrimp just a little bit undercooked? he couldn't tell.

he took the wok off the flame after the peas had melted sufficiently. he made sure to turn the stovetop off afterwards. he was stoned but he could still think enough to not set the kitchen on fire. he left his revenge lunch to cool on the stovetop as he left the kitchen to see if anyone was loitering in the cafeteria.

his eyes drifted around. finn. gigi. flutter.

"who wants some fried rice?" sprout announced in the cheeriest voice he could muster.

"sounds yummy!" finn said, nodding.

"my thoughts exactly. rice, rice, rice!" gigi chanted whilst slamming her fists on the table.

"!!!" flutter said.

"aww, you always know what to say, flutter! i'll grab you guys some plates." sprout retreated into the kitchen to plate up his disaster in the making.

 

in case you were wondering.

yes.

the shrimp was a little bit undercooked.

Chapter 3: *frowns and kicks rock*

Summary:

shrimpo talks to rodger.

shrimpo paced around his room. he'd been doing this ever since that night. he didn't normally pace. this was new. this was unnatural.

he felt vile on the inside. how could sprout do this to him? how could he?? how fucking could he??

he kicked a broken brick that was lying on his floor hard enough to send it sliding a couple inches away. tossed out for drugs?? after all i've done for him??? unbelievable!!

shrimpo stomped over to his punching bag. his fist collided with it before he could even register what he was doing. i need my boxing gloves. he looked around the floor, eventually spotting them in a pile next to a band tshirt and some crumpled up paper. he lifted one of the gloves, going to put it on before noticing what it was sitting on top of.

it was a picture of him it looked like..? he moved the other glove. ugh. oooof course. sprout seedly was also in the picture, with his arm around him. yuck! shrimpo used his lower arms to rip the picture in half. he dropped the side he was in, and after grabbing some tape from a drawer, he taped the picture of sprout onto his punching bag.

serves you right, jackass! he punched the photo, a surge of confidence flowing through his body. cod i wanna beat the shit out of him. more punches flew. he didn't even give a shit when his knuckles started to get sore, all he could focus on was pulverizing that picture.
"i hate you sprout seedly! no one breaks up with shrimpo! i hate you! i'll never stop hating you!"

 

it went on like that for a few minutes until someone knocked at his door. he froze, feeling his punching bag knock against his readied fist lightly.

"if your name is sprout go the fuck away!"

...

"it's rodger."

oh...

"d.. doors unlocked."

the magnifying glass stepped through his door. he looked concerned. bad sign.

"i came to let you know finn has food poisoning."

noo not finn...
"what from?"

"something sprout cooked, apparently it wasn't prepared properly." rodger sighed.

shrimpo snorted. "yeah no surprise there. his cooking was always shit." shrimpo punched the bag again. it felt heavier this time.

"is something going on with you two?"

"wouldn't you like to know?" shrimpo said sarcastically, before catching himself. "sorry.... that was mean."

rodger crouched slightly to be at eye level with him, shrimpo tried not to let it make him feel like he was being treated like a child. "you can tell me anything, you know..." rodger said kindly.

shrimpo frowned, not an angry or frustrated frown, more just... tired... "we...broke up." shrimpo muttered.

"i'm so sorry.." rodger said, he rested his hand on shrimpo's shoulder to comfort him.

"'s fine. i should've seen it coming anyway."

"what makes you say that?"

"he keeps doing drugs, i don't wanna be around someone like that. and he doesn't wanna be around someone who's not cool with it." shrimpo punctuated his sentence with another punch to his punching bag.

"sprout's doing drugs..?" rodger looked startled.

"yeah don't tell anybody. i was 'sposed to keep it a secret, but i don't care anymore." shrimpo said.

rodger nodded. "alright."

"want more dirt on him?" shrimpo turned away and started at punching the punching bag again.

rodger stood. "uh..."

"you can say yes, rodger, i know you want to."

"um... sure." rodger sat on the edge of shrimpo's bed.

"well... his bedroom is never clean, i think it would give tisha a heart attack if she saw in there. um... he wears the same scarf for weeks on end and doesn't wash it... he thinks it's funny to shove cupcakes in peoples mouths even when they said no-"

"shrimpo how is any of this useful to me?" rodger asked.

"i dunno, it's dirt." shrimpo replied, shrugging. "oh and he knows what's going on with dandy."

"what?"

"he never told me what it was specifically, but he knows. i dont think any of the other mains quite understand it like he does. he said something about...impaired brain functions? i dunno, i wasn't really paying attention." shrimpo said.
he watched rodger write that down on his little notepad. "that useful enough for you, detective?"

"yes, very. thank you shrimpo."

"'s nothin'."

rodger walked over to shrimpo, holding his arms out.

"whatcha doin?"

"you look like you could use a hug." rodger said.

"i'm not a little kid, rodger."

"adults need hugs too."

"okayy..." shrimpo wrapped his arms around him. he hated to admit how nice it was. rodger was just nice to be around... like a dad, maybe.

 

maybe.

Chapter 4: remember all the things that you and i did first?

Summary:

sorry for the hiatus, my account got suspended because i was using comments to talk to my boyfriend oops

sprout has a talk with cosmo.

he probably would have been fine, really. but then he had to go and see something he really did want to. he saw shrimpo in the kitchen. obviously he was allowed to be there, yeah, it wasn't sprout's kitchen really, it was cosmo's. sprout just baked there sometimes. he didn't own the place.

but he couldn't help but feel like he'd made that monster.

sprout basically taught shrimpo how to bake. most of them getting to know each other happened during baking. but now? he thought it was okay to just go in there and bake without him? the nerve of that guy! baking was sprout's thing! not shrimpo's!

he wasn't sure why it pissed him off so much. maybe seeing shrimpo do something productive. moving on with his life. acting like everything was back to normal again, just without sprout. it made his blood boil.

maybe it was jealousy. technically he was the one that broke it off. maybe he expected it to hurt shrimpo more than it did? did he want shrimpo to be angry at him forever? did he want to see him be sad and depressed for months? did he secretly hope shrimpo would forgive him and ask to get back together?

who was he kidding, it's shrimpo. that ship has sunk.

 

"sprout?"

sprout nearly jumped out of his chair, and in the aftermath ended up knocking it over and he fell onto the floor in a heaping pile of broken chair and bruised strawberry.

"oh sh- geez, i'm sorry man!" cosmo reached down and pulled sprout to his feet with both arms. sprout stumbled forwards, chin awkwardly landing on cosmo's chest. it didn't take him a moment to notice this and fix his stance, looking away from cosmo, embarrassed. he covered the lower half of his face with a hand to mask any blush that might be seen through the red.

"i didn't mean to startle you like that.." cosmo apologized, rubbing his arm awkwardly.
"'s fine..." sprout mumbled.

"are you good, dude? you were zoned out, like, big time." cosmo asked, tilting his head slightly.
sprout glanced back over at him. d'aww he looks like a puppy when he does that.. focus seedly!

"oh damn-"

"what?" sprout turned to face him fully, "what's wrong?"

"have you been crying or something?" cosmo asked.

for a moment, sprout had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. "wuh.."
"your eyes are like... super bloodshot. are you-"
OOH. oooh.
"oh! n-n- i wasn't crying-! i was.. um..." he squeezed his wrist, trying to come up with a good cover that wasn't straight up "i was smoking weed". when he realized he had nothing he just sighed and accepted it.
"yeah... i was." he looked at the ground. he knew he was lying but he really didn't wanna get into it with someone else about his coping mechanisms. especially not cosmo. not cosmo... not sweet, sweet cosmo...

"still messed up about the breakup?" cosmo asked, setting his hand on sprout's shoulder gently.
"yeah..." sprout mumbled.

"it really is too bad. you guys were cute together. i never asked, what happened, anyway?"
sprout wasn't sure how to explain in a way that didn't give him up as a stoner.
"we um... disagreed over something. thought it was best if we hahah.. stopped seeing each other." sprout "explained." nailed it...

"do you miss him?"

yes.

...

what?

"no, heh... i'll be alright. i survived long enough single, i can do it again, eheh. single pringle club." sprout stumbled over his words.
"heh.. yeah, single pringle club!" cosmo agreed, raising his hand to high five sprout. sprout awkwardly smacked his friend's hand. he fought hard against every urge to interlock their fingers.

"hey, i know what'll cheer you up!" cosmo stated cheerfully. sprout raised an eyebrow as cosmo took his hand.
"yeah?"
"talking about boys~!" cosmo exclaimed, dragging sprout to the elevator.

 

when they got to cosmo's room, sprout collapsed into a pile on cosmo's bed before sitting up with his legs kris cross apple sauce. cosmo shut the door and sat beside him, letting his own legs dangle.

"soooo... do you like anyone~?" cosmo giggled.
"cosmo!" sprout gave him a playful shove on the shoulder.
"come on, there's nothing wrong with looking at your options! how about boxten?" cosmo asked, squinting to gauge sprout's reaction.
sprout shook his head. "nah, he's too clingy."

"okay um.. what about rodger? and don't tell me you don't think he's hot, he totally is." cosmo laughed. "oh my goddd cosmo..." sprout whined, "yeah, he is hot, but he's got that.. thing with glisten.." sprout mumbled.
"the qpr?"
"that yeah. plus he's like... shrimpo's dad or something. i think it'd be really weird if i broke up with the guy just to start dating his father figure a week later." sprout stated.

"yeah... yeah... um... razzle or dazzle?"
"i dunno how i feel about dating someone who's attached to another person." sprout said.
"yeah i get that. blot?"
sprout shook his head. "nah too goopy. plus i can barely tell what he's saying half the time."
"he's not a bad kisser to be honest." cosmo said casually.
"well he is french- wait- cosmo you did not."
cosmo smirked. sprout shoved him again.

"how? when? spill!" sprout demanded.
cosmo rolled his eyes, "we were just messing around! it didn't mean anything, really. he is good at kissing though, you would not be disappointed." cosmo chuckled.
"mooooving on-" sprout covered cosmo's mouth with a hand briefly before taking it off again.
"um... rudy?"
"cute, but i'd only see him on christmas." sprout pointed out.

"yeah, true.. guess that means flyte's also off the table. uuhh... goob?"
"whoever i date has to be able to bake with me, goob would be awful at baking, he'd knock everything off the counters! besides, his sister... kind of scares me." sprout rambled.
"yeah, i get it. scraps is scary as hell." cosmo agreed.

"what abooout.... astro?"
"i don't think i could date another main.." sprout rubbed his arm awkwardly.

"vee does though?" cosmo pointed out.
"yeeah,, it just wouldn't feel right.." sprout explained, "especially with what happened to dandy."

cosmo nodded. "wait, what about looey? i feel like i remember you checking him out at some point." "i did not!" sprout shrieked, trying to sound offended.
"i dunno what the kids were talking about, calling him ugly all the time, he's kinda cute to be honest. i could see you two being good together." cosmo reasoned. meanwhile sprout was dying inside, hoping and praying his blush wasn't visible.

"ehh, maybe, i dunno. not right now. i think looey has some issues of his own to work out first." sprout said.

"... guh there's not many men in gardenview, is there?" cosmo sighed. then he paused. sprout watched his face very carefully. he was clearly debating about something.
"there's... me...?-but that couldn't work, right? cause we're like, best friends or whatever, it'd mess it up!" cosmo stumbled over his words. sprout thought about it a little, then leaned closer to cosmo, who was now sweating bullets.
"we could... give it the old college try?" sprout said. cosmo's face went bright red.
"y'think so?"

"c'mon cozzy, we know each other better than anyone, it's worth it to try, right?" sprout explained.
"you'd be cool with that?" cosmo asked.
"sure."
"uh- um... sprout seedly will you do me the honors of being my boyfriend?" cosmo stuttered.

sprout gave him a big hug. "you're so damn corny~. yeah. let's give it a go."

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Airy's World Timeline