Chapter Text
Keira
I found them when I needed them, watched them grow into the amazing, brilliant, talented men they are now. I saw the fan edits. Watched along with the rest of the world all their ups and downs, knowing that even what they shared on camera wasn’t everything. I posted dance challenges to their choreography, went to their concerts, bought the albums, and fan club memberships. I was a proud STAY.
I stumbled onto this opportunity completely by chance. I needed a change, a fresh start, and something that engaged all of my skills and creativity to the fullest. I applied, did the phone interview, then did a Zoom interview, and two weeks later I landed in Seoul, South Korea where a company car was waiting for me.
I was driven straight to the company where I did my on-boarding, was shown around, and then finally taken up to be introduced to the rest of the team of managers and assistants. I took everything in, took copious notes, and asked all the questions I could think of. When Head Manager Jeong deemed my first day a success nearly ten hours later, he took me to meet them.
I was so nervous walking down the halls towards the practice room. I could hear them as soon as we left the elevator, all the way at the other end of the hallway. Unable to help the smile that lights up my face, I barely cover the giddy laugh that tries to escape. Head Manager Jeong, turns to me with an encouraging smile.
“Their laughter and antics are infections and none of us can help ourselves from joining in when we’re around them. It’s good that you already feel the same way. They’re going to be a bit shy and maybe a little reserved for a bit until they get to know you, but the more you interact and are around the more they’ll loosen up and let you see them as they are.”
“I’m not too worried about the interactions with them, I feel like I know them so well already, even though I probably don’t. I just want to make sure that they have everything they want and need. I’m not afraid to fight for them and make sure everything runs smoothly and seamlessly. Just remember you hired me for my communication skills and you gave your word to have my back as long as it was in their best interest.” I remind Head Manager Jeong.
“I remember. I like your fighting spirit and they could always benefit from having someone as strong as you in their corner. Come meet them.” He responds with a smile as we continue to make our way down the hall to the practice room.
We stop outside the door and listen as they seem to progressively get more chaotic and even louder than they were when we first arrived. He looks in the window of the door to gauge where they are in their practice, then smiles.
“It appears they’re pretty much done for the day.” He tells me. “Other than this their schedules are pretty much done for today. I could organize a dinner tonight so you can get to know them and they can get to know you.”
“I don’t want to cut into whatever free time they have or any plans they made for tonight after their schedules. We can set the dinner or lunch for another day if they’ve already made plans. I don’t want to inconvenience them or throw them off of what they were going to do.” I respond sincerely.
“Let’s make introductions and we can go from there.” Head Manager Jeong offers before knocking on the door.
A face appears briefly before the door is unlocked and opened from the inside. There’s a general scramble to turn off the music, grab water, and gather everyone as the manager and I walk into the dance studio.
Eight sets of eyes all land on me as I step next to their Manager.
“It’s not often that I come and interrupt your practices, and I do apologize, but we have a brand new staff member on the team and I wanted to make introductions. This is Keira Rose. She will be in charge of all your scheduling, events, arrivals/departures, any and all contract issues, and will be your personal assistant. She will attend all meetings related to the group, especially if you all have a schedule and cannot attend yourselves.” He starts with. “Keira will be learning to speak Korean while she’s here, so any and all help for her, I’m sure she will appreciate. Would you like to say a few words, Keira?”
I smile confidently at Head Manager Jeong and finally allow myself to really take in the group in front of me. “As Manager-Hyung said I’m Keira, I just flew in today from the US, I know little to no Korean but will do my best to learn and be fluent as quickly as possible. I feel very excited and honored to have this opportunity, especially as a STAY.” I finish with a quick bow.
I watch their faces relax minutely, and I listen as Bang Chan translates for them from English to Korean. Once they all understand what I said, Chan counts them down for their ‘Step Out’ introduction. They all bow and introduce themselves in English for my benefit before Chan comes over, opens his arms and offers me a hug.
I frantically glance between Chan and Manager Jeong trying to figure out if a hug is proper, but Chan doesn’t give me much time to get in my head and freak out.
“Normally this would be frowned upon, but firstly you’re a STAY, then you’re a part of our team. So as a STAY, I’m offering an in-person Big Hug.” Chan explains keeping his arms open.
I bite my lip, shrug my shoulders, and reply, “As a STAY I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished for one of your Big Hugs, or to give you all one back.”
“Then for right now, just be a STAY, Keira and we’ll all give you Big Hugs and you can give them back. Then maybe we can all go for some dinner or lunch tomorrow once you’re settled in?” Chan encourages.
I nod and open my arms to hug Chan. His hugs feel warm and safe, cozy and warm. He doesn’t let go until my arms loosen from him then he pulls back with a smile.
“Welcome to the team, Keira,” Chan says then steps back.
“Thank you, Channie,” I say with a smile.
“Wait, what about…” Felix starts, “Ah, never mind that would be rude of me, sorry.”
I look at Felix with everyone else with a curious look on my face. “What would be rude? Please don’t hold back or censor yourselves for my sake.” I encourage.
Felix looks at Chan then back at me, “I was going to ask if you were older or younger than Channie-hyung.” Felix says. “This way we know what honorifics to use when we interact with you.”
“Awe, you’re so sweet, Felix,” I say. “Maybe this will help. My MBTI is ENFP, my blood type is O and I’m older than Channie.” I say the last part with a smirk and mischief in my eyes.
They all erupt in laughter and all of them start talking at once, simultaneously teasing Han and Chan. Changbin, Hyunjin, and Seungmin are repeating ‘Noona’ as loudly as possible while Lee Know and Felix are the loudest ones teasing Han and Chan, while I.N is trying to be the voice of reason and get them all to calm down.
I stand there in awe of how much chaos and volume they can produce in such a small space and amount of time, then I start laughing. This catches them all off guard and it goes quiet in a heartbeat. I can’t help but double over holding my stomach as I laugh fully and openly.
They all stare at me before they all start talking at once again trying to figure out if I’m alright.
I pull myself together and wipe the tears that escaped while I was laughing and assure them I’m alright. “Sorry, that was even funnier and better to witness in person. I was half expecting Lee Know or Changbin to shout to reel everyone in, but I.N being the voice of reason shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did.” I say with an apologetic giggle. “Innie, you really are the Maknae on Top and so mature.” I compliment him.
“I don’t know what all of that was, but it looks like you found a way to break the ice, Keira. I’m going to step out to finish the arrangements for your accommodations and ensure everything you’re going to need is ready for you when you get back to your room tonight. We can set everything up first thing tomorrow, as the rest of this week will be just acclimating yourself to this new schedule and fast-paced position. If you all decide on dinner tonight or lunch tomorrow let me know, you’ll have access to the company card and I’ll make the arrangements. After that, you’ll all be in Keira’s capable hands.” Head Manager Jeong says as he bows and steps out of the practice room.
I clasp my hands together a little nervously but keep my smile on my face. “So,” I start off with, “What else do you want to know about me?” I pose the question.
Seungmin surprises me by stepping towards me before stopping a few paces away, “I tease the Old Man for his age, don’t think you’ll be exempt.” He tells me with such a serious expression on his face before his whole face lights up with his breathtakingly beautiful smile.
“Oh, Seungminnie, don’t ever change,” I say with the fondest smile. “I love how savage you are, but your smile is so much better in person. You’re going to have to try hard to make me lose it like Channie does when you call him ‘Old Man’, I’m the oldest of three and my sisters were savage at the best of times.” I tell him with a wink.
“Good, then we understand each other,” Seungmin replies with a smirk.
“I have to knaur more about everything.” Felix gushes. “You already knaur so much about us. What’s your creative background like?”
I can’t help but laugh at how enthusiastic Felix is. “Well, dance has been my passion for as far back as I can remember. I love to sing, in fact, I sang all four years in High School and was on the dance team. I’ve got basic ballet knowledge, and some contemporary experience but my favorite genre was hip-hop and freestyle. I do enjoy karaoke now and then for fun.” I reply.
Felix’s eyes light up and he gets excited. Chan translates and Lee Know’s eyes snap to me.
“Will you dance for me sometime?” Lee Know asks tentatively.
“Of course,” I answer with a bow.
I can’t help but notice how quiet Changbin, Hyunjin, and Han are being. I look at Chan and say, “I know this is a lot to process and it’s a big change. I don’t want anyone feeling overwhelmed or like they have to censor themselves. I love all of your personalities just as they are, or at least how you all are in the content you release. I want to get to know y’all as your authentic selves, so if this is too much we can take it as slowly as we need to really get to know each other.”
Chan gives me a huge smile, “You really are amazing. They’ll be alright, they’re just assessing quietly.”
Felix comes up next to me and offers a hug. “I remember what it was like to leave home and arrive somewhere with no friends or family, so if you need anything, Channie-hyung and I would be more than happy to help.”
I accept Felix’s hug and tell him, “You really are Sunshine incarnate.”
He laughs his sweet laugh and squeezes a bit tighter. “Thanks.”
“You and I have so much in common, you know,” I tell him.
He pulls back from our hug, takes my hand, and leads me to the couch at the back of the practice room. “You’ve had a long trip and a longer day, come sit and chat.”
I smile at him and sit.
“What all do we have in common?” Felix asks.
“Well, first being the Sunshine of the group. My Gran always called me her Sunshine and sang the song to me. I have a sunflower tattoo with her handwriting for her. I know you lost your Gran, and I lost mine too.” I start and squeeze his hand.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Keira,” Felix says.
“I’m sorry for yours too, Lixie,” I reply.
“How many tattoos do you have? Channie-hyung has been itching to get one. He wants a whole sleeve down his arm.” Felix says.
“I have eight at the moment, but there are a few more I want. I didn’t realize how much they were frowned upon here until I caught a few glances during my meetings today. I rolled up my sleeves because I was warm and flashed both of the ones on my forearms.” I reply.
“Can we see them?” Chan asks.
“Sure.” I agree. Instead of rolling up my sleeves I shrug out of my blazer and lay it across my lap, then I offer out my forearms for them to see my beloved ink.
“They contrast so well.” Chan admires them. One is full color while the other is done in greyscale and basic lines. “Can I ask what they mean?”
“Of course.” I smile at him. “They have a special place in my heart, they were both gotten as birthday gifts to myself. The one on my left forearm, the one closest to my heart, matches with six of my girlfriends and is a tribute to our other girlfriend we lost unexpectedly. It reminds us that you can’t always choose who is blood related but you can always choose your friends and they can be your found family.”
“I love that,” Chan says with a fond smile. “Did it hurt?”
“It pinched in a few spots, just because of where it is and how sensitive those areas are already, but it healed nicely and was bearable,” I respond.
“And the full-color one on your right?” Chan encourages me.
“One of my girlfriends that got the one on my left with me also matches the one on my right. We both love the movie ‘Practical Magic’ and I told her our relationship was like the sisters that are the main characters in the movie. She’s the Gillian to my Sally, and at the end of the movie, Sally narrates ‘Always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.’ We each picked our favorite color and used them for the hearts, with the big heart being each other’s favorite and the small one our own so we have a bigger piece of each other always.” I explain with a fond smile.
“I love it. They’re both well done and beautiful.” Chan tells me. “Maybe when I get the courage, if you’re up for it, would you maybe want to go with me?”
“I’d be honored.” I smile at him.
“Are the rest of them easily accessible?” Chan asks.
“Most of them I can show off easily with the right outfit. I have both my upper arms done, one on my right calf, and the other 3 are on my left calf. Easy enough to cover up for the most part, which I did on purpose in case I needed to hide them or look more professional.” I admit. “The next two I want I’ll be able to hide, too. They all get exposed right now though if I wear a tank top and shorts, which I usually do in the summer or when I workout. I think I’ll have to stick to wearing one of my cropped dance hoodies just to keep them covered or invest in some long-sleeved workout tops.” I say sadly.
“Changbin and I can recommend some good workout gear brands for you.” Chan offers. “But also most of the time we’re in the gym there aren’t many people there and you’re welcome to join us.”
“I don’t know if that makes me more self-conscious or less.” I laugh gently. “I just might take you up on that offer though, at least until I can get my own routine down.”
“Good luck getting any kind of routine or set schedule down with our schedules being as hectic and chaotic as they are. They all go to the gym either first thing when they wake up or after dance practice before we all head back to the dorms or out for dinner most days. When we’re on schedules abroad they’re all at the mercy of whatever the hotel gym hours are, which is frustrating sometimes, especially when we’re only there for a few days and don’t have the time to adjust properly to the timezones and let ourselves get used to the time changes.” Felix explains. “But best practice is to just go with the flow and fit it in whenever you can. Now what else do we have in common? You said we had a lot.” Felix asks eagerly.
“Well, the second is the singing and dancing which I already mentioned. Third, is my favorite.” I smile at him then lean in like it’s a secret. “I love to bake and it’s one of my favorite ways to show how much I love someone. If I bake for you that’s a surefire way to know I love you. I’m like Changbin with food…” I confide. “I don’t like to share my food, so if I bake for you or offer you a bite of my food then I definitely love you.” I finish.
I hear everyone laughing, and then Changbin gives a “Yah!”
I glance over and he’s looking at me in awe.
“You don’t like to share your food, but you will bake like Yongbok?” Changbin asks.
“I will fight someone over my food,” I respond. “I have a funny story about actually fighting a friend over my food if you want to hear it?” I offer.
Changbin and Lee Know move closer to Felix and me. They come sit with us and listen intently.
“I know Lee Know’s views on fighting,” I say slowly trying to include them all. “Only fight if there’s something to gain, and then fight to win.” I wink at him.
His laugh is everything, even more so in person. “Correct. Go on.” Lee Know encourages before he holds his hand out towards Han, who made his way over to sit with us. Lee Know pulls him down onto his lap and wraps his arms around him.
“Jagi,” Han whispers as he makes himself comfortable.
“We were at lunch in High School, and the cafeteria had a special kind of seasoned french fries. Everyone loved them, and they were my favorite so I bought two containers of them.” I start. “I had other items, but I offered one fry each to my friends, then told them to leave them alone until I was done. If I didn’t end up eating them all then they could have the rest, they knew that because I didn’t like to waste food. So I’m eating and one of them just kept stealing them off my plate. I warned her to stop, but she didn’t, so I picked up my fork and warned her again that if she didn’t stop then I was going to stab her with my fork.” I pause.
“Tell me you didn’t actually do what I think you’re going to say you did?” Seungmin says as he walks over and drops onto the floor in front of the couch to listen.
“Oh, but I did,” I say with a devious smile. “She reached for another fry and without hesitation I stabbed her in the back of her hand with my fork,” I say laughing.
Seungmin, Han, and Felix look at me aghast, while Changbin and Lee Know look at me with admiration.
“She was so mad at me, that she refused to talk to me for the rest of that week. I think she still has the scar from the fork.” I finish telling the story.
Chan and I.N come join us, and Hyunjin sits on the arm next to Felix, just as Felix says, “That’s next level on not sharing food. Changbin-hyung, Keira might have you beat on the not sharing.” Felix teases.
“I mean I did share, but she refused to listen when I said enough,” I say with a shrug. “I stopped sharing at all after that for the longest time.”
“What else can you tell us?” Felix asks enthusiastically.
“Freckles. Yours are amazing and unique. I have some, but they become more noticeable when I get too much sun. We always called them fairy kisses.” I offer.
“요정 키스?” Chan asks causing all of them to ask the same thing.
I look at Chan confused, “What did I say?”
“Sorry, Keira. I don’t think we’ve ever heard fairy kisses used to describe freckles.” Chan explains.
“Oh! Yes, fairy kisses are freckles. There’s some old Celtic/Irish lore that freckles are a sign of being blessed by the Fae. It was something like the Fae knew how beautiful the baby was going to be when they grew up and bestowed kisses to enhance or bless their beauty as they grew. The more beautiful the more kisses, so therefore the more freckles the more beautiful you were supposed to become. The bigger the freckles the more Fae kissed the same spot.” I explain.
Chan translates the best he can for everyone as Felix stares at me in awe.
“Tell me you have a picture of yours?” Felix begs me.
“I’ll have to find one, if I have one it’s an old one,” I say.
“You agreed to dance for Lee Know-hyung, will you sing for us too?” Han asks quietly in his deep timbre.
I can’t help but smile at him when I answer, “Of course. We can even do some Karaoke if you want. I know how much y’all love Karaoke.”
“I’d like that.” Han agrees.
“We can even get cheesecake and coffee.” I offer.
Han’s eyes get big and round, “You like cheesecake and coffee?”
“Cherry cheesecake is one of my faves, and I’ll probably get some hate from Seungminnie and Innie for this next bit, but I only drink Iced coffee. I won’t drink it hot.” I say.
“Marry me, noona.” Han teases.
“I’m not fighting Lee Know.” I tease Han with a laugh, causing everyone else to burst out laughing. “That’s one fight I won’t win, even if there’s something to gain.”
“Most of us drink Iced Americano, so you’re in good company at least,” Seungmin replies.
“That’s something else Felix and I have in common, I like my iced coffee sweet with cream and a flavoring of some sort,” I admit.
“Ugh, that ruins the taste of good coffee.” Seungmin grouses.
“Sorry, Seungmin,” I say.
“We can work with it.” He responds begrudgingly. “At least tell me you know how to make your own and aren’t like Changbin-hyung and have to ask someone else to make it for you?”
“Yah! I paid you to make it for me!” Changbin replies heatedly.
“I can usually figure out a new coffee machine pretty quickly, especially if there are instructions handy. If it’s super High-tech you might have to show me first, but then I should be able to make it.” I offer. “I learn pretty fast.”
“You weren’t joking when You said you and I had so much in common, Keira,” Felix says with a smile.
“Channie likes giving hugs, just like you and me, Felix. I’ve always been told I give the best hugs by my friends. They might be biased though.” I admit. “Channie does give pretty good hugs, and yours was good too, Lix.”
“Trying to get any of this lot to let me hug them is like pulling teeth or fighting off a rabid animal.” Chan chuckles.
“It makes for fun clips when they try to escape or in Lee Know’s case, the cat comparisons and memes that STAY makes,” I say with a laugh. I glance over where Hyunjin has been the quietest of them all. “Hyunjin?” I ask tentatively. “You okay or am I making you uncomfortable?”
I see Felix squeeze Hyunjin’s knee then Hyunjin looks at me, “I’m not uncomfortable just taking everything in. Thank you for asking though, Keira.”
“Of course. I don’t want to make any of you uncomfortable and I know it’s a lot to get used to especially since it’s a quick and unexpected change.” I reassure Hyunjin. “I figured Hannie would be the most reserved and quiet of all of you, but I should’ve remembered how everything affected you Hyunjinnie.”
His head snaps up and his eyes are intense. “We’re not supposed to talk about that.”
I nod in acknowledgment, “I know. That might be part of some of the issues that I might be able to help fix, though if you’re open to it. There are a lot of things STAY have noticed and I would love to have a sit down with just the nine of us and see if there’s anything I can improve or fix for you. Whether it’s in your current contracts, with the rest of the management team, or just in general overall. I’ve done some research, but I think you’ll be able to help me understand better for some of it, and we can all work towards making y’all happier with a bit more freedom or at the very least, fewer restrictions if that’s something you desire.” I lay it out there.
Chan translates again and they all turn to me. “Do you mean that?” Hyunjin asks.
“I do, with all of my heart,” I promise him.
“Let’s get through the rest of this week before we start trying to make waves.” Chan cautions. “We’ve got a full schedule and too many things can go wrong along the way if we’re not all on the same page. We’ve got a few days next week where none of us have schedules and we can all dive in and pose changes then.”
“So, I’m curious,” Han says with a mischievous grin.
“Oh, that look can only mean trouble from you, Han Jisung,” I say warily.
“Oh, yeah.” He says with confidence. “As a STAY, who’s your bias?”
I cover my face and try to hide the blush that instantly turns my whole face, ears, and neck red.
“Oooh, Keira definitely has a bias if that’s all it took to make her blush like that.” Felix gushes.
“I want to preface this with I’m OT8!” I exclaim behind my hands still.
“You can be OT8 and have an Ult Bias.” Han teases. “Which means you probably have at least one wrecker if not more.”
“Ugh, how did this whole conversation turn to this?!” I ask.
“Because I know the questions to ask.” Han laughs.
I swipe my hands down my face, then rest them in my lap and stare at them for a moment to gather my thoughts. I take a deep breath and explain, “The first thing that caught my attention was Felix’s deep voice, then I noticed how well all of you danced. I had to watch all the dance practices multiple times so I could properly appreciate all of your different dance styles. You’re all amazing vocalists, rappers, and dancers, but for the longest time I only heard the group songs, and then I started the deep dive down the rabbit hole.” I admit sheepishly. “Trying to learn names and put them with each of your faces. The solos and individual projects like the SKZ-Records and SKZ-Players were incredible. They really helped me figure out each of your voices and be able to differentiate them. Han’s melancholic love songs had my heart in a stranglehold, the lyrics make the emotions well up and pour over. Then I found a newer dance practice for ‘Hellevator’…” I trail off and look at Han with a smirk.
“Oh, I might know where this is going,” Han says with a laugh.
“I don’t think you do,” I smirk. “Right after that dance practice video, which I saved to re-watch, I found the ‘King of the Masked Singer’ episodes with Hannie and Changbin. And right after that, I found Changbin’s ‘Streetlight’. I had to do a deeper dive into your discography and find who wrote what songs. I already loved all of your talents, individually and as a group. But Hannie’s right I do have an Ult Bias, and two current main wreckers, but all of you wreck me and come for me on a daily basis. I listened to Changbin’s cover of ‘Tomorrow’ on repeat for days, as well as ‘Streetlight’ because his singing voice was such a contrast to his rapping voice.” I look Changbin in the eyes when I admit this next part, “Your voice whether singing or rapping is so emotive and expressive, it’s one of my favorites of all time. Then I re-watched that updated ‘Hellevator’ dance practice and there towards the end when you all do the jump to the one leg with your hand up, cinched it for me.”
“I’m your Ult Bias?” Changbin asks in awe.
“You are,” I confirm.
“Wow!” Changbin says. “That means a lot.”
“Now my wreckers are for different reasons,” I say as I turn back to the group. “Now remember I said I’m OT8, and I am. Innie’s stage presence and confidence wreck me. Seungmin’s vocals, visuals, savageness, and confidence in dance wreck me. Felix’s voice, visuals, freckles, and dance wreck me. Hyunjin’s absolute mastery of his duality both on stage and off, his artistry and dance, and his personality wreck me. Chan’s selflessness and caring, his stage presence, and we can’t forget his abs, wreck me.” I explain with a wink to Chan when I mention his abs.
“Wait that’s everyone but Lee Know-hyung and me,” Han says. “Wait we’re your current wreckers?” Han asks in awe as he looks at Lee Know.
“Lee Know’s unreachable visual, dance, and vocal skills and confidence on and off stage, and the way he loves not only all of you but his cats is so endearing,” I explain. “And Hannnie, Hannie, Hannie…STAY are so serious when we say all eight of you are Aces and we’re even more serious when we say Han is the Ace of Aces. Singing, dancing, rapping, writing, producing, Stage presence, visuals, all of it is a deadly combination. I’ve never seen someone so babygirl but also gym bro coded before in my life, and I absolutely love it. Also, that waist is sinful.”
Han throws his head back and laughs. “I’ve seen the edits.”
“Then you know they’re done out of love,” I tell him. “You’re so much more than your social anxiety and even when it gets hard or you’re overwhelmed you always push through and do your best. You have an amazing support system and I know you use it to the fullest. As someone who also has anxiety and is prone to both anxiety and panic attacks, I love seeing you not let it control you.” I tell Han and reach over to squeeze his hand and he returns it. “So Binnie is my bias, and MinSung are my current wreckers, but ultimately I’m OT8. I love all of you.” I summarize.
“Ugh.” Seungmin groans. “The ship names are going to do us all in eventually. There’s going to be no way to deny the dating rumors if the two of you keep it up.” He rolls his eyes.
“Don’t ever change,” I interject. “STAY loves all of you just as you are, and those who don’t aren’t really STAY. And anyone else that makes rude, hateful, hurtful comments or causes any of you to be uncomfortable aren’t true STAY.” I assert. “Whoever and however you choose to love is strictly your business and if you choose to share that or not it’s still completely up to you.”
Eight sets of eyes pin me in place.
“Do you mean that, truly Keira?” Felix asks.
“100%, Felix. That’s one thing you’ll never have to worry about with me, I won’t say it if I don’t mean it. You all deserve to have something for yourselves even if you choose not to share that with the world. As human beings we all deserve to experience love and happiness, and when you find it you hold onto it with both hands with everything you have and don’t let it go. I’ve had love before.” I say a bit sadly as I look down at my lap to try to keep my emotions in check. “It was wonderful while it lasted and left an impression unlike anything I’ve ever felt or experienced before. And while it was beautiful while it lasted and hurt like hell when it ended, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.” I finish with a tentative smile. “So, I know we’re all getting to know each other and we’re a long way away from being besties and having the trust that y’all have built with each other for the last several years, I hope to eventually have that with all of you as well.”