Chapter Text
It started out as innocuous curiosity.
Alright, admittedly, rarely anything is innocuous when it comes to Desire, but this time, this time they started watching (yes, not spying) without meaning to plot an iniquitous plan.
Hob Gadling was an interesting human; very rare, Desire had seen nothing quite like him in their long existence. So really, it was unfair if Dream was the only one being amused by him.
Besides, Robert Gadling was a creature of desire.
If he is the oldest human currently living on earth, you could only imagine the depth his wants would go. There were things, people, even dreams that this man carried within him deep in his heart, the stuff that he never truly got to have. Desire thrived on those the most; dead, shattered dreams, longing and yearning for things you never had and never will, but cannot seem to get over. He had a seven centuries worth bundle of those.
He belonged to Desire more than any human could. So they were allowed to watch, or interfere if they were ever to desire.
Somewhere at the back of their mind Desire admitted to themself that their interest was also rooted in the fact that this person used to be a dear friend –and a potential lover– to their dearest brother Morpheus. How more interesting a mere (im)mortal could possibly get?
They’ve always been a tad interested in him; but was warned personally by sister dear not to interfere. But now, Morpheus wasn’t around anymore, and – since seeing Hob in his funeral, he got ten times more interesting to them.
So Desire simply watched. They sat at their own throne and watched him go about his life. Their golden gaze focused on him and his seemingly ordinary life, never trying to interfere or change the routine of his days.
After some time, Desire moved their (metaphorical) seat to Hob's world, to watch him from up close. They made their presence unknown to the mortals; they were not worthy of seeing Desire's form, after all, so they were unable to.
A small, secret smile always graced Desire's blood-red lips as they witnessed Hob Gadling live. He laughed and cried and mended and destroyed. He did something mundane like it was something extraordinary. He did something extraordinary like it was the most natural thing to do.
Watching him simply be was mesmerizing for Desire; in a way even Desire themself failed to understand.
They weren't sure how long they've been finding themself observing Hob whenever they found a little bit of free time. (Who were they kidding, Desire does not know rest, there is no break for want. The universe never stops craving and needing and loving and lusting. But Desire pushed their duties aside, shoved all those people's desires to the back of their mind and ignored them. They could handle themselves without Desire's attention and ruling for a while, couldn't they? Desire believed in their creatures, they all would be fine!) Somewhere deep inside they knew this wasn't healthy (it's obsessive, a small voice whispered in their ear) but they couldn't bring themself to acknowledge the dangers of their weird interest in Robert Gadling.
"He is gorgeous as well, though, isn't he?" Desire whispered to their empty Threshold, their unblinking eyes watching Hob while he was taking a shower. "That body has seen so much, felt so much. So many memories those muscles hold."
They giggled, roaming their eyes up and down his body. It wasn't as toned as it once had been, when he was a fighter –a soldier. But he was still in good form, and well, Desire found every type of body desirable. There was no such thing as good and ugly, every living being was deserving of being called beautiful. Hob was a different kind of beauty, though. He was unique. Timeless.
"I wonder which ones I'd feel, if I were to touch it." Desire closed their eyes, lifting a palm up to imagine touching his skin, "the agony, or the pleasure?"
They quickly opened their eyes and frowned. It wasn't new for them to look into Gadling's wants and desires of old, and see his body being torn to shreds and equally loved and worshipped. But to imagine touching him and feeling it?
Desire decided not to dive too deep into it, and kept watching.
He was now taking good care of his hair. Desire approved. His hair was an important factor in him looking desirable…
Desire considered the risks of showing themself to Hob.
Watching him from afar had stopped being enough. Desire itched for more. They usually enjoyed this feeling, but only when it was radiating off of someone else, when they could absorb it and relish in the insatiable thirst of others. Now that they were feeling it first hand-
Let’s just say, Desire was not pleased.
They wanted to meet the man. Actually talk to him. (a pained part of Desire's being hoped he wouldn't be nice, maybe they'd be able to hate him and stop wanting to see him all the time, then.)
How cross would Dream have been if he was to see me lurking around his beloved? Was the question Desire asked themself when they were trying to come to a decision.
Desire shot Dream's sigil a large, toothy smile.
Daniel was an innocent soul, completely different from Morpheus. Pissing him off had been one of Desire’s most joyous activities for eons. But Daniel was sweet, sweeter than little Delirium, even, Desire felt no pleasure in upsetting him.
They had been ignoring that nagging thought, that awful truth, that they were clinging to Hob Gadling as a final connection to their late brother. Maybe they were getting desperate. Maybe the feeling of something missing, was messing with their mind.
Desire needed to feel a tie to him. In any way. Anything would do. Even if it was watching his old friend simply go through life. And pretend it had nothing to do with Morpheus, and it was simply because the immortal man was too interesting.
It was a win-win situation, anyway. Meeting Hob Gadling, and pissing off any part of Morpheus that may be still living.
They playfully winked at the tiny helm like it was Dream himself, and turned to leave the gallery. They wanted to prepare, and find the best time to pay dear Robert a visit.
Appearing in the middle of his house sounded like a bad idea. Even knocking on his door was a bad idea. But Desire wasn't out of options, they knew him as well as they knew their realm.
Throughout the years Hob Gadling had gained a habit of sitting in the pub where he always met with Morpheus (and later on in the one he built himself.) He had done that for over thirty years, hoping Desire's big brother would show up one day. And he had, that much was true; but the point was that Hob couldn't have known he would. He was unaware of Dream's captivity; for all he knew, Dream simply did not want to see him ever again.
But oh, that loving fool had never lost hope. His need for Dream's arrival had been so delicious, Desire could still taste it on their tongue – and even though at the end of each day he had gone home disappointed, so deep in sweet Despair's realm you'd think there was no saving him, he had gone back in there the next day. Just to do it all over again.
That habit remained, even after Dream came. Naturally it would be hard to break, but he did it less often than before… he would go there two or maybe three times a week.
Desire chose one of those days to go to him.
They wore a white pantsuit –the least revealing one, their black heels click-clacked as they walked towards Hob's table –that, and the jingling of their long earrings and necklaces drew every patron's attention to them. And once they looked, they could not look away. They were seeing what they most desired in a person –but with a flick of their wrist Desire forced them to look away. No reason to alarm sweet Robert now, right?
Desire thought for a second which name they should use. His given one, or the one he currently used?
Desire grinned with a glint in their eyes.
"Hello, Hob Gadling." They drawled. Hob looked up in shock, his eyes widened even further when he saw Desire (he was the only one in that pub that could see the form Desire had chosen for themself instead of a picture of his own desires.)
"Oh, hello," Hob replied politely, "have we met before?"
Desire could see it in his eyes; he was now sure Desire was no human. Maybe the golden eyes gave them away; maybe it was the general aura about them. They had met in Dream’s funeral; but it was a dream, and dreams could be fleeting. They didn’t actually approach him that way, grief weighing down both their hearts. Aside from that, Desire’s appearance could be tricky.
No matter, Desire was not disheartened, they merely widened their smile.
"Not officially like this, no." Desire answered vaguely, then added sweetly, "may I sit with you?"
A light flashed in his eyes but it passed quickly, seemed like he remembered something. He pointed to the chair across from him.
"Of course! Please, feel comfortable."
Desire sat and placed their elbows on the table and stared at Hob with their chin rested on the back of their hands.
"I was so eager to finally talk to you," they purred, hoping not to spook him too much.
Hob tilted his head in a curious manner. He looked cautious, but not scared or defensive.
"How did you know my name?" he settled on asking. Desire raised one eyebrow.
"I just do, I'm quite familiar with everyone,"
Hob sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, then released it with a click.
"Are you a family of Dream's?" he asked.
Oh, so smart! Desire straightened up with a wide-eyed smile.
"Sure, that's my big brother!" Hob's jaw hung open when he heard this. "Remember me and his siblings, from a dream?"
"Quite sketchy," Hob shook his head, "he was a very private person. He only recently told me who he was, and I remember talking with the sister he mentioned once –”
"The one responsible for what you are." Desire nodded; Hob nodded back. "Well at least he'd told you how you came to be,"
Hob nodded again.
"You know my name, can I know yours?" he said softly, with a reassuring smile that showed Desire there was no pressure.
"So impatient!" Desire reached out a hand, but more like a queen would to her subjects to offer a kiss on the back of her hand than like one would for a handshake. "I am Desire."
Hob indulged, he grasped Desire's fingers gracefully like a well-mannered knight, but to Desire's disappointment did not kiss it. He just held it and looked into Desire's eyes, recognition dawning on him.
"You're Desire," they nodded yes, "it's nice to meet you, Desire. Your speech was beautiful."
“Thank you. It was a difficult day, glad I delivered.”
Desire's physical form was vibrating. He was even more charming when you interacted with him.
He let go of their hand when a waitress came around and stood next to their table, she asked if his new "guest" wanted anything to drink. He looked at them with questioning eyes.
"Would you like me to get you anything to drink?" Hob addressed Desire, all the while aware of the dreamy-eyed stare the waitress was giving them.
"Sure, that's so nice of you, my darling."
"Anything specific?"
"Whatever you see fit –but oh, I am craving something sweet." He heard the meaning hidden in their tone and swallowed, his eyes lingered for a second too long before he named a drink to the waitress and ordered something simpler for himself.
The way they spoke made Hob blush a little, Desire's smirk grew larger at that.
Hob decided not to mention the waitress's strange behaviour around Desire; he cleared his throat and focused his eyes on their face again.
"So uhm… to what do I owe the honour of meeting you?" he asked.
"Well, I just told you, my sweetest, didn't I?" Desire spoke loudly and waved a hand around, "I was merely curious, and very eager to speak with you at last."
Hob chuckled breathlessly. "Why would simple ol' me capture your attention?"
Desire's eyebrows twitched up and their smirk turned into an astonished smile. They leaned forward towards the table and tilted their head while staring at Hob's carefully neutral face.
"You cannot tell me that you don't see the fact that you are anything but simple, Hob."
"Oh, but the only extraordinary thing about me is my age-" Hob argued back.
Desire's brows rose even higher. They leaned back in their chair in stunned silence.
He's very humble, isn't he?
Wrong. He was, in truth, unaware of how important and unique he was.
Before Desire could say anything, a tall glass was placed before them. They looked up at the girl, who jumped a little when Desire's eyes landed on her. Her face flushed a crimson red; she quickly put down Hob's drink as well and hurried away, all flustered. Desire didn't find that amusing like they usually did, so they turned their attention back to Hob and opened their mouth to convince Hob that he is interesting (in the most flirty way possible) but he spoke first.
"Are you… doing something to her?" he asked carefully, and tried to backtrack when he saw Desire's blank expression. "Didn't mean to be rude! I'm sorry if that was an offensive assumption-"
"Why did you ask that?" Desire answered with another question, tilting their head to the side a bit. Hob seemed taken aback by it, but he relaxed when he saw they were not angry.
"She didn't seem to notice you, at first, but then when she did she looked…stupefied." He explained uncomfortably, "also everyone else here either completely ignores you or stares at you like-" he coughed, "…they stare intensely."
Desire's eyes shone. Hob swallowed hard.
"Very attentive and sharp, I see. And you call yourself ordinary." Desire observed their colourful drink, spinning the straw around it. "I'm not doing anything to them…well, that's not the complete truth."
Maybe Hob was getting a little alerted, he was watching them with wide eyes. Desire could feel his need for answers. They smirked and put the straw in their mouth, not looking away from his eyes as they drank.
"Mmm," Desire hummed in appreciation, "adding good taste to your list of qualities, Bobby."
They knew changing the subject so abruptly would annoy him. They giggled at his frown, stuck between protesting and saying thank you to the compliment.
Desire put the drink down, not wanting to keep him so on edge, so they explained… well, sort of.
"That's just how I am," they said simply, shrugging a shoulder because they knew it sent across the illusion of casualness.
"How you are?" he repeated slowly.
"I'm Desire, the very face of it. So that is what my creatures see in me, everything they desire." Before Hob could recover from the shock, they sucked on the straw again and let go with a loud pop, adding "although, when I came here I forced them to look away, we did not need the attention. So that is why they are a little confused. Don't worry your soft little heart, sweet thing; they will be fine as soon as I leave this place!"
Desire almost never talked about themself –that may sound like a lie, but it is the honest truth. Desire brags and bluffs about their own perfection all the time, but never any deep truths. With Hob, they felt like they could say anything. It was dangerous; their own nature was fighting this feeling. The instincts won, and they stopped sharing any more truths right away. Enough for today.
"Do I see whatever I desire most as well?" Another unexpected question came from Hob. Desire chuckled fondly.
"I doubt that I look like your type, eh?" Desire said playfully and winked. Red really suited his cheekbones. "No, you see me as I am." They answered the question at last. "At least, as I have chosen to be, this particular moment,"
There was supposed to be no more truths! They taunted themself right after the words left their mouth.
"So I see you how you want to be." After Desire nodded at that, a large grin broke Hob's face. "Thank you, for allowing me that."
Desire's eyes widened. If they had given themself the ability to blush, they would have, right this moment. They covered one cheek dramatically and pretended to be flattered, hiding the fact that they were actually blushing.
"Why, you're welcome!" they said with a shy smile that was obviously feigned, and batted their eyelashes.
Hob laughed, and even after his laughter died down he didn't stop smiling. He finally took a sip from his drink, trying not to stare at Desire too obviously.
Desire considered asking Hob not to tell Dream about this meeting, but they didn't. Bad idea.
They stood up to leave; Hob's curious pretty eyes followed them.
"I'll see you again, dearest. I'm not done with you yet." They selfishly hoped to see disappointment in his face at seeing them leave. Hob only said a quiet "ah." "But for now, I must leave; I have got duties to attend to and the people never stop wanting."
Hob smiled brightly. "I understand! It already means a lot that you took the time to drop by."
"Get used to that," they said it in mock warning, but Hob laughed and did not take it seriously. Desire couldn't stop a fond smile from replacing their typical manic one.