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“I want to kiss him,” Yuki whispers, and Banri sighs.
“Don’t you dare ruin that boy,” his partner answers and Yuki deflates a bit.
They’re both still in a bit of a shock, but Momo is apologizing for having jumped on the stage and gotten mad like that, hitting people left and right, and Banri is letting him know they’re ok, and that he did well, and Yuki…
Yuki is just staring.
After the concert, Banri and Yuki are backstage, in the small room they were given as the talent of the night, and Yuki keeps thinking of the pretty boy who came to their rescue.
“Yuki, stop,” Banri says as he changes out of his clothes.
“Stop what?”
“You said you want to kiss him again,” Banri responds, and Yuki blinks. He hadn’t said anything, had he?
“What’s so wrong with that?” He asks instead, defensive.
“You don’t date anyone Yuki, and he is a sweet boy, our fan.” Banri shakes his head, and folds the clothes neatly before putting them in his bag, “You will make him hate you if you played with him.”
“…Fine, I won’t kiss him.” Yuki is absolutely not pouting.
The next time he wishes to kiss Momo, they’re in his apartment, and he had just said yes to reforming Re:vale.
Yuki wakes up, groggy from sleep and annoyed at his dream. No, memory. He had forgotten a lot of the small details, but now, he can’t help it. He keeps wanting to do just the same thing, to kiss his partner.
Specially lately, when Momo smiles, it gives Yuki the urge to grab him and just plant a kiss on him. To hold him by the waist, and push his hair away from his eyes, smile softly at him, and kiss him.
Momo though…
He doesn’t want Yuki like that. Sure they flirt and act like a married couple, but in reality, Momo wants someone else. Someone whom he talks to as if the moon rises only for him. And it kills Yuki to feel jealous of Banri, yet here he is.
Yuki wouldn’t get in the way of Momo’s love life, especially as idols, as it must remain secret. But it kills him every time they meet up with Banri for drinks, and Momo can only look at him and smile that beautiful smile of his.
With a sigh, Yuki gets up from bed and walks to the bathroom. A cold shower would do him right, and maybe, just maybe, settle his heart.
They have a few jobs to do, but they always make time for Banri. Sure, Banri doesn’t always make time for them, but it’s understandable. The man is always busy with his own idol pair. That night, though they finish late, Banri meets them for a late dinner in a nearby bar.
Yuki drinks and watches as Momo talks excitedly with Banri, abut nothing and everything at the same time, and Banri looks at him with a smile Yuki never got to experience for himself. He puts his glass down and picks up a celery stick, something that will let him chew and be quiet for longer.
Banri mentions something about his phone, and Momo perks up, wanting to see whatever it is Banri said.
“Isn’t it cool, darling?” Momo suddenly turns to look at him, and Yuki blinks.
“Yeah, very cool,” He has no idea what they were talking about.
Banri looks at him with a raised eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything, as Momo gets his attention again.
Their time together ends not long after, and Yuki is pretty drunk, but so is Momo, so they get their manager to drive them home.
“Good night Yuki!” Momo whispers as he gets out of the car, and Yuki smiles.
“Good night Momo.”
When he’s back home, Yuki throws his stuff on the coffee table and drops himself on the couch. He passes a hand through his hair, finding tangled parts all over, and sighs.
What is he going to do when Momo confesses to Banri?
How will he react? Can he pretend to be happy when his heart breaks and falls into pieces in front of him?
Can he congratulate Momo for finding love, when he never will?
“Oh no…” He says out loud, his eyes stinging, as he cleans them furiously with the sleeve of his sweater.
He’s in love with Momo.
He can’t cry about this, he knows well, they’ve been together as an idol unit for almost 6 years now, and they’ve been through hell and back, but Yuki can’t help it.
He’s dying from jealousy.
He hates Banri for a second, before realizing how stupid he’s being, and letting out a sad laugh. He could never hate Banri, not in a million years, not even if he gets Momo.
He knows Momo loves Banri, and there’s nothing to do about it.
Maybe he could write a song.
Yeah, that’s the way to go. He writes all his feelings, so why not the bad ones too?
Standing up takes a lot more effort than he thought it would, but Yuki gets up and walks to his office, where the keyboard sits, the paper waiting for his pen, and gets to work.
He writes a bittersweet melody, and with it the lyrics come to him, his hand not as fast as his brain, and by the time he finishes the song and looks at it, the sun is coming out.
He reads it over, and over, and over.
“Momo shouldn’t sing this,” Yuki says, reading the song over yet again.
He reads it until it makes no sense anymore, and sighs. The song is not a duet, it’s a solo.
He grabs the sheet music and throws it in the garbage, as he goes to the washroom, brushes his teeth, and walks to his room, taking off as much as he could while walking, before dropping unceremoniously on the bed.
‘How could you love me, when your heart is set on him?’
Yuki wakes up to someone touching his cheek, well, more like poking it, and he brushes off the offending digit before turning around.
“Yuki! It’s almost evening!” That sounds like Momo.
He doesn’t say anything, trying to go back to sleep, but Momo pulls at his blankets, and Yuki makes a sound in protest.
“Why are you still in bed?” Momo asks, and Yuki just curls up, hugging himself. Momo sighs,”I’ll go get a glass of water, and be back, ok?”
But he doesn’t come back for a while. So long, in fact, that Yuki actually sits up and looks around for him.
Did he dream Momo was there?
“Momo?” He calls out, but doesn’t get a response.
Yuki shrugs, and gets out of bed, beelining for the washroom, looking at himself in the mirror as he brushes his teeth a moment later. He hadn’t braided his hair so it’s a complete and absolute tangled mess.
He leaves it as is, he has a day off today, it doesn’t matter. Yawning, he looks at his clock, wincing when he sees the time. It’s so late. He walks towards the kitchen, but sees his office door is open, and…
There’s a glass of water sitting on the coffee table.
Shit.
He walks as fast as he can to the office, only to find Momo there, headphones halfway on, and sheet music in hand.
“Momo?” Yuki asks, walking in and apparently scaring the other, as Momo jumped on the chair.
“Hi Yuki…” He lets the music down and takes off the headphones, looking at Yuki. He looks sad.
Neither of them says anything for a moment, but Momo decides to break the silence.
“What’s this song?” He asks, raising the papers in his hand slightly, before dropping his arm into his knee.
“It’s nothing,” Yuki responds, trying to take the papers away, but Momo is faster.
“Right,” Momo says, standing up and putting the papers on the keyboard. “Who is it for?”
“No one,” Yuki says, “For me,” he reveals, and winces when Momo looks sad.
“You should have told me,” Momo says, smiling sadly.
“What?” Yuki doesn’t know what else to say, confused.
“You know I’d support you no matter what,” Momo’s smile somehow grows sadder, “right?”
“Momo-” He has to explain, he can’t let Momo looking like this.
“I mean, I’m your partner, and you know I would do anything for you, even— even when it comes to these kinds of stuff.”
“Momo—“
“You could have told me to back off, and to stop fawning you know? There’s no need to write something so… Sad.” Momo, puts the papers down, and makes to leave, but Yuki grabs him by the elbow.
“Momo, what-“
“You’re in love with Ban-san, aren't you?” Momo says, his smile faltering.
”I want to kiss him”
“Don’t you dare—”
Yuki pulls Momo towards his own body, hugs him tightly, and before the other can even react, Yuki kisses him. It’s better than anything he had imagined, feeling Momo’s lips on his, no matter how short the time they’re together.
He might have just ruined everything they have, but he can’t let Momo go thinking he’s in love with Banri, no way in hell.
Momo flinches and Yuki is sad to part their lips, but before either can say anything, Momo brings his fingers tot ouch his lips.
“Yuki?”
Yuki is staring at him, at his fingers, at his lips.
“Yuki,” Momo says, and Yuki loops up at his eyes. “Why?”
He’s never seen Momo speechless, which he is right now, and it’s scaring him. Did he really ruin it all?
“It’s not Ban, not him,” Yuki says, letting go of Momo and looking away, he’s sure his face is red, he feels hot, like never before.
“What—“
“You.” Yuki interrupts whatever Momo was going to say, and looks at him again. “It’s always been you.”
Momo’s eyes fall, and before he can say anything, Momo is crying.
He made Momo cry.
He stands there, not knowing what to say, or do, while Momo sniffles and cleans his face with his shirt’s sleeve.
Momo looks up at him, and Yuki can’t help but notice how beautiful his partner looks with his nose red and eyes watery.
They stare at each other for a moment, and Momo, once again, breaks the silence.
“Since when?” He asks, his face growing redder as he does.
“Too long,” Yuki doesn’t want to tell Momo how long, specially not that he realized why he was jealous of Banri just the night before.
“Darling…” Momo smiles, and it’s the most beautiful smile Yuki had ever seen.
Yuki can’t help but smile back, and Momo pulls him into a hug.
“You shouldn’t be jealous of Ban-san, Yuki,” Momo starts, his head on Yuki’s shoulder, his voice quiet, “All of me is only for you.”
Yuki’s eyes open like platters, and he hugs Momo tighter. Too tight, in fact. Momo wheezes, and laughs as he pats Yuki’s back.
“Yuki, I can’t breathe!”
“Sorry,” Yuki says, letting him go, but his head is resting on Momo’s shoulder.
Momo pats his head and chuckles, “Does this mean I can finally call you my one and only?”
“Only if I can call you the same,” Yuki responds, and Momo laughs.
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Momo…” Yuki straightens up and holds Momo’s cheek in his hand, feeling how his face warms up the same as Momo’s. “Can I kiss you?”
“Yes, darling, you can.”
Without another word, Yuki leans in and presses his lips to Momo’s, and this time is different. This time Momo kisses him back and it’s better than anything he’s ever done in his life.
Momo wraps his arms around Yuki’s hips, and Yuki smiles into the kiss, effectively ruining it, as it makes Momo smile too. They lean their foreheads together, and laugh.