Chapter Text
Sasuke was convinced he would spend the rest of his life with Hinata.
When they were classmates in high school, he never paid much attention to her. She was shy and quiet, that’s all he knew, and he wasn’t curious to find out more.
They even attended the same college – Konoha National University – their paths always running parallel to each other, but then one hot summer day, they crossed, and things changed.
It was after Sasuke finished his first year at KNU. The Uchihas were throwing a semi-formal garden party at their summer residence. All of Konoha’s elite were there, and that included the Hyuugas.
Mikoto, Sasuke’s mother, steered him toward the garden entrance as soon as
Hinata and her father appeared. Hinata was standing slightly behind her father and gave both him and Mikoto a polite bow once they approached.
“Hiashi, it’s so nice to see you again. I believe you’ve met my son Sasuke before?”
“Of course, handsome young man,” Hiashi’s eyes flittered across Sasuke before he turned to Mikoto again, “I see you’ve thrown another charming party, Mikoto.”
The pleasantries started, but Sasuke was surprised to see that Hiashi completely ignored Hinata, who was still quietly standing by his side. Sasuke saw his own mother’s eyes slide toward Hinata multiple times, anticipating Hiashi to introduce her or at least acknowledge her presence. When he didn’t, Mikoto eventually extended her hand to Hinata herself and warmly welcomed her.
Hinata smiled and thanked her for inviting her in a soft tone. From her expression, Sasuke could tell she felt uneasy, but he didn’t dwell on it much. He was too preoccupied with feeling sorry for himself.
These gatherings were the bane of his existence. He hated being paraded around by his parents from one circle of powerful politicians and businessmen to the next. He hated the forced smiles, the shallow compliments, the pretentious conversations. But most of all, he hated how his father pretended to be proud of him only in front of his powerful “friends”.
He wondered if it would be better if his father just openly ignored him like Hiashi Hyuuga ignored Hinata.
When evening approached and the sun dipped lower, Sasuke discreetly left the dinner table. He walked down the small slope behind the villa toward the open mown field and sat down at the bench next to the narrow pavement. He stared at the sky; the warm hues of pink and orange were already bleeding into purple and blue.
He wasn’t a sentimental person, so he didn’t come here to admire the sunset. He just longed for a moment of solitude.
Suddenly, someone behind him cleared their throat. Sasuke felt the immediate swelling of annoyance, but when he turned around and spotted Hinata, he deflated a bit.
“I’m s-sorry,” she stuttered. “May I?” she pointed to a space next to him, and he just nodded.
She sat down on the other side of the bench so quietly that if he didn’t see her from his peripheral vision, he wouldn’t know she was there at all.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered.
Sasuke just hummed in agreement. He didn’t mind her presence, but he wasn’t going to push himself to keep a conversation going. He was done with the charade of a polite and well-brought-up young man for the day.
“I’m taking an art class this semester. I would love to capture something like this one day, but unfortunately, I don’t think I’m very gifted.” There was pervasive sadness in her tone, and for some reason, it thrummed on his heartstrings.
He felt that staying quiet would be cruel to her. So, he asked something safe, “What’s your major?”
“Political science,” she said, devoid of any enthusiasm. “You?”
“Business Economics.”
She gave him a knowing smile, and Sasuke felt a sort of camaraderie settle between them. They have practically lived the same life. Privileged kids born into wealth and power but stripped of their own identity or dreams. Just puppets for their powerful fathers.
That was the day it started.
The summer was filled with formal parties and business occasions that they both had to attend. They naturally gravitated toward one another, and before the evening was over, they would sneak off and spend hours talking. Which was surprising to Sasuke because neither he nor Hinata were that talkative, but when they were together, it seemed easier because they had so much in common.
Soon, they started to meet often, even outside of their families’ stuffy events. They went on long drives and stopped by different parks and lakes because Hinata loved nature. They would talk on the phone as well, long into the night.
Sasuke related to Hinata more than to any of his friends. It wasn’t just because they had similar backgrounds, they were both overshadowed by their respective siblings as well – Itachi and Hanabi.
Their first kiss was Sasuke’s fondest memory.
They were visiting a reserve but had to hide under a canopy of trees when they got caught in a sudden downpour. The sky stayed bright with the sun still beaming, so when a huge rainbow appeared, Hinata laughed and excitedly pointed to it.
When she looked up at him with her pearly eyes, his world came to a standstill. All he could feel was his pounding heart and the tickling of butterflies in his stomach. All he wanted to do was kiss her. All he could do was kiss her. And so, he did.
She softened in his embrace, and their lips gently moved against each other.
Sasuke fell hard and fast. He loved her deeply. The year and a half they spent together had some of the happiest moments of his life.
He always thought that gentleness wasn’t in his nature, but it came so easily to him with Hinata. Maybe because he was so happy.
All that fiery anger and frustration that plagued him because of the fake persona he had to wear as his controlling father’s youngest son had dissipated. Now, every day was filled with the calm halo of her presence.
Both of their families were ecstatic about their relationship, and Sasuke bitterly thought that it was probably one of the few instances that he had made his father proud. Regardless, he didn’t care what his father thought.
His mother loved Hinata as well. She would invite her over every week for tea and home-made meals, and always referred to her as her future daughter-in-law. Sasuke’s heart warmed every time he saw them together. He loved his mother, and Hinata was his everything.
His first love.
His first heartbreak.
Things started to shift sometime after their first anniversary. Right when autumn approached and the leaves started to die, so did their love.
And the catalyst was Naruto Uzumaki.
The Uzumakis moved to Konoha from Suna at the end of the summer. They held high positions in the government, and Minato Uzumaki, the minister of foreign affairs, was rumored to run in the next presidential election.
Compared to other politicians, the Uzumakis were beloved by the general public for their down-to-earth personalities and continued advocacy for a more ‘human society’. Kushina Uzumaki was especially involved in campaigning for higher social benefits and free childcare.
For the past ten years, the Uzumakis lived in Suna, but suddenly returned to Konoha. Most people assumed it was because Minato wanted to water his roots in Konoha to strengthen his influence on the voter base.
And the first official appearance the Uzumakis made was at one of the Uchiha parties.
Mikoto was up since five in the morning, checking with the staff and walking from room to room to make sure that not one flower vase was out of place. She seemed even more on edge than usual because of the Uzumakis.
Even Fugaku was pestering Sasuke more than usual, sternly reminding him to be friendly and polite to the Uzumaki’s son, Naruto. Sasuke couldn’t care less. He hoped to make only a necessary appearance and then disappear with Hinata without anyone noticing.
The moment he met Naruto, he instantly disliked him. He was loud, boisterous and didn’t have the manners that one would associate with the son of a future presidential candidate.
Sasuke fulfilled his duty by politely introducing himself to him, but the Uzumaki took it as an invitation to talk his ear off. Sasuke started to only answer in “hmms” and grunts, hoping Naruto would catch on and leave him alone, but instead the blonde rudely retorted, “geez, don’t you know how to talk? I thought you Uchihas were supposed to be geniuses”.
Sasuke frowned and wanted to make a scathing remark toward Naruto’s intelligence, but he noticed Hinata approaching. She wore an elegant silver dress that contrasted with her long, dark hair.
When she got close, he pulled her in by her waist, ready to compliment her appearance, but her eyes were trained on Naruto, who was refilling his champagne glass.
“N-Naruto-kun, it’s good to see you again,” she said softly. He noticed a slight blush appear on her face, but he just wrote it off as her usual shyness.
Naruto swiftly turned around. “Hinata?! No way! It’s been so long. How have you been doing?” Naruto asked with a wide smile. He grabbed one of the pastries from the table and took a big bite, sugar coating his cheeks and lips.
Disgusting.
Sasuke quickly turned his attention back to Hinata. “You two know each other?”
Hinata was still looking at Naruto, a soft smile playing on her lips. She seemed unperturbed by Naruto’s lack of decorum. “Yes,” she answered and quickly glanced up at Sasuke. “We used to go to the same music academy. And even before that, Naruto-kun was very kind to me and helped me…”
Her voice trailed off, but Sasuke didn’t have time to ask more since the Uzumaki yelled out, “Hinata! Don’t tell me you’re dating this stuck-up snob!”
Sasuke glared at Naruto while Hinata giggled. “I had a suspicion you two wouldn’t get along.”
For months, Sasuke didn’t want to admit to himself that Hinata had changed. She seemed more absent-minded, more closed off.
At first, she would at least apologize when it took her five hours to answer a simple message or make a believable excuse why she couldn’t see him or spend the night at his apartment.
At some point, he wasn’t even worth that. But her blowing him off wasn’t the worst part; it was watching the affection disappear from her eyes a bit more each time she looked at him.
Every day, she dealt him a new gut punch, but he just trudged on. Not bringing it up, just waiting for it to pass. Maybe he was a coward or just didn’t want to believe it. Either way, he was holding on with everything he got and only she had to power to pull him up or shove him down.
She chose the latter.
One day in late November, she was waiting for him at his apartment. It was already late, and at first, Sasuke was happy to see her. Hoping that whatever was going on these past few months is over, and they can start closing the rift between them.
But when he noticed her solemn demeanor as she sat on his couch, he felt ready to sink to his knees.
“Sasuke, we need to talk.” Her voice was surprisingly firm, and Sasuke realized she had already made up her mind.
But he stayed composed and asked what was going on.
“I can’t keep going like this. Pretending that things are the same when they are not.”
Sasuke wanted to tell her that she wasn’t doing a very good job pretending, but instead, he said: “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” Hinata shook her head. “No, no. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is all me.”
It was over.
“I just… I-I’m in love with someone else.”
Oh.
Sasuke felt like the floor just shifted under his feet, and he was taken to an alternate reality. He would have expected anything but this.
There was no way. Not his Hinata.
“What?” he asked so quietly he barely heard himself.
“I know,” she lowered her head and started crying. “I thought I was over it. Because it was so long ago, but then he came back, and all the feelings just broke through and overwhelmed me. And I just can’t stop them, I can’t. I tried, but I can’t,” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Sasuke.”
There was a sinking feeling in his gut and heart, and all he could think about was – who? Who? Who?!
“Who?”
She looked at him, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I just want you to know this isn’t his fault. Nothing happened between him and me. He doesn’t even know this is how I feel, and he might not feel the same way about me. I just- I can’t be with you when I feel like this, you know. I can’t lie to you or myself like this anymore.”
“Who?” he asked again.
“Sasuke— “
“Who?!” The dam was breaking, and he was about to drown.
“Naruto-kun.”
Nothing moved in him. He thought one emotion would surge to the front, and he would know what to do, what to say, no longer stuck frozen somewhere between anger, hurt, sadness and hopelessness.
But with the name, it just all died down. Like a water geyser suddenly losing all its pressure, and the water dropping down to splash around his feet. Because there was a part of him that knew. That expected this.
He didn’t know if he should feel better or worse that it was the loudmouth. He was convinced that that guy had nothing on him, but he did. He had Hinata’s heart.
He felt the tears come when he asked, “Have you ever even loved me?”
She stayed silent for a long moment, and that felt worse than anything she said to him today.
“I think I did. I definitely felt very happy with you, and safe. You understood me so well, you’ve been so thoughtful and considerate and that’s why I—“
“Get out,” he said, but there was no power behind it. He didn’t want to hear her say another word. He didn’t want to hear her platitudes because, in the end, he just wasn’t good enough.
He was never good enough. Not to his father. Not to Hinata.
Thankfully, she listened to him and passed by him quietly. But before she reached the door, she said, “I’m sorry, Sasuke. Please, only hate me.”
Once the doors closed with a soft click, he finally fell apart.