Chapter Text
She should have been asleep hours ago, but she had tossed and turned and tumbled and twisted all over her bed, tangling then untangling herself in the sheets and blankets.
She reached over to pick up her phone again before freezing in place, hand hovering over it. She knew that picking up would mean another hour of looking at her phone for something she knew she’d only find in the penthouse.
But she could send a text…
Just as her fingers pressed to the edges of the phone to pick it up, she heard a door opening. She looked to her door that was always a little ajar at night, letting in a little sliver of light.
There was a change in the light outside. A shadow crossed the open doorway. Then it crossed back again. Then the shadow settled, dimming the light coming inside.
Zoey sat up, her sheets falling to pool around her waist. She looked at the door, sure she knew who was outside. She pushed some stray hair out of her face and tucked a different strand behind her ear. When she shadow didn’t move, she gently called out, “Mira?”
There was a stillness before Mira leaned into the light, just one part of her face peeking into Zoey’s room.
Zoey could see a heartbreak in Mira’s face that haunted her some nights. No matter how long they sang and worked and lived together, there was always a deep core of loneliness in Mira that only came out when the fans and the lights were gone.
Zoey held Mira’s eyes gaze as she slid down the bed. Once she was on her back, head settled on pillows, she opened her arms.
That got Mira moving. She slipped into the room, not touching the door and with all of her grace, she moved to the bed. Without hesitation, she set her knee on the edge of the bed, leaned forward, and put her hands on either side of Zoey. She lowered herself into Zoey’s arms and felt them enclose her.
Zoey smiled, feeling Mira trying to keep most of her weight off of her. She tightened her grasp and pulled her down harder, forcing her to fully relax against her body or fight the pull.
Mira fought it for just a moment before allowing herself to settle completely on top of Zoey. She deflated, feeling such a rare safety in Zoey’s arms. She even allowed herself a moment of need by tucking her head under Zoey’s chin and resting her ear just over Zoey’s adorable little hummingbird heart.
She felt Zoey take a deep breath under her and listened to her heart start to slow under her. She closed her eyes letting herself get lost in the beat of it. Zoey could always make a chart topping beat but this was Mira’s favorite beat Zoey had ever made. The slow, steady lub dub of her heart.
Zoey combed back some of the stray pink hairs that had fallen out of Mira’s ponytail. “Did you go for a run? It’s late.”
Mira closed her eyes. She had been warned not to go out by herself at night. There were still stray demons and, sometimes worse, rabid fans. But sometimes she just had to run. It was a poor coping method she shared with Rumi.
“I didn’t go far,” Mira murmured sheepishly. She was an adult and could do what she wanted to, but she never wanted to disappoint Zoey. Disappointing Zoey felt like ripping her heart out of her chest.
Zoey’s fingers were so gentle on the top of her head. She could feel pinpricks of an instinct to run crawl up her back. She was allowing herself to get so close, both physically and…the dangerous ways.
Mira was dithering on when she should leave when she felt Zoey dip her head down and kiss the top of her head. Mira's eyes slid closed at the sensation as she tried to dive into it, as deep as possible. She wanted to drown in the affection Zoey so freely gave her.
She reveled in the kiss for longer than she felt she should have been allowed. She opened her eyes with every intention of getting up to go back to her own bed, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave the safety of Zoey just yet.
Her eyes scanned the side of the room under the window and moved to the twinkling lights of the city below. They were so high and sometimes it felt like they were separated from the rest of the city - K-Pop idols in the sky - but when Mira looked out over the city she saw families. Every single light was a family. It could be parents and children or two people who shared a house with an affinity for each other. It could be a single person and a pet, but each light was someone to protect, people who lived and loved and needed them whether or not they knew it.
She closed her eyes and remembered being the person in one of the lit rooms that needed saving. Zoey and Rumi had saved her. It was frightening how much she still needed them.
Mira spoke out of reflex. She was too comfortable and too happy. “I need to shower.”
Zoey didn’t let her go and she could feel Zoey take another deep breath. Then there was a moment of stillness. Mira was about to push up and leave, feeling she’d done the unthinkable and disappointed Zoey. Instead, Zoey rubbed her back gently and quietly said, “Please come back.”
Mira’s heart stutter-stepped. She pushed up off of Zoey, her flight instinct kicking in. It was a simple, chaste request, but it was so terrifying. Zoey wanted her there and Mira wanted nothing more than for Zoey to want her and she felt too close to it being a reality.
But when she pushed up, removing her torso from the soft bed of Zoey, she looked down and saw a quiet pleading in Zoey’s face. There was a shimmer in her eye and her hand reached up, fingertips resting on Mira’s cheek. Zoey flattened her palm against Mira’s cheek and softly uttered, “Please.”
Mira could never deny her. Even when she was getting too close and even when she was terrified. She put her hand on the outside of Zoey’s and nodded against it. “Okay.”
Then Zoey flashed her dazzling, mesmerizing smile at her and Mira’s reflexively smiled back.
Mira gave into impulse and turned her head, dropping a kiss on the inside of Zoey’s wrist. It was embarrassing when she realized what she’d done, but she touched her lips, committing to memory what Zoey’s skin felt like under her lips as she gracefully fled the room.
Mira stared at the wall as the hot water pelted her body. She would periodically touch her lips and then rest her forehead on the cool tile wall. It felt so good and so right and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it. Teasing head kisses and cheek kisses for promo pictures were safe and easy. She could look through her social media and see hundreds of other girls - who were just friends - doing the same. Tender wrist kisses weren’t something purely in the realm of friends. It was a blurry line that Mira was wavering over.
She wanted so badly to go back to her room and hide in her bed, pretending like nothing had happened, but she had promised Zoey.
She had taken her time drying her hair and putting it up in a low ponytail. She picked out a t-shirt and shorts that weren’t too short. For some reason the extra half inch of her shorts and the uncharacteristic sleeves on her shirt felt safer.
Then she made her way back to Zoey’s room. When she pushed open the door, Zoey’s bedside lamp was on and she was scribbling furiously in a lyrics journal. Mira slipped in and closed the door behind her. The light click of her door closing got Zoey’s attention. Zoey’s eyes got wide when she slammed the journal shut.
Mira smiled because she looked like an adorable deer in headlights. “Anything good?” Zoey’s panic relaxed her. She strode over to the bed and sat down, pivoting her legs into the bed as well.
Zoey practically threw her journal across the room toward her desk, where it slammed into the wall and slid down. She also threw an arm out to turn off the lamp next to the bed plunging them both into darkness. “I dunno.”
Mira settled back on the bed and looked at Zoey in the light of the city night. She gave Zoey a reassuring smile and took her hand. “I’m sure it was great.”
“It’s-” Zoey’s kneejerk reaction was to tell Mira it was bad, but in truth she wasn’t sure. She had been overflowing with emotions and needed to get them out as quickly as possible before it bubbled over and she… did something they’d both regret.
Mira let her body slide down until she was lying down, holding Zoey’s hand the whole time. Zoey did the same, settling into her pillows again. There were no words between them, but they gazed at each other, each unsure of what to do.
Zoey could see every hard angle in Mira’s face. She searched her face until she was able to find the softness in her eyes. A fear and a longing that only ever came out in the dark. She hated that so much for Mira. She hated that fierce, brave, strong Mira had been hurt in the deepest part of her that no weapon could protect her from.
Mira felt Zoey thread their fingers together and held her breath as Zoey lifted their joint hands to her face. Her eyes were locked onto Mira’s, but dipped her head enough to gently kiss the inside of Mira’s wrist. It was such a brave and daring action that Zoey’s already speeding heart went into overdrive. She had been so sure when Mira had kissed her wrist it had been an accident, a reflex, but because it was a thoughtless action it was all the more sweet.
But she wanted Mira to know the kiss she had just placed was intentional. She wanted her to watch it happen and she wanted Mira to be able to pass judgment on the action, fully and with all the detail that came with it.
“Zoey,” Mira could barely breathe out.
Zoey lowered their hands to rest on the pillow between them and raised her eyebrow, “Hmm.”
But saying Zoey’s name wasn’t trying to get her attention or focus her on the moment. It was a desperate grab for something to hold onto so she didn’t fall headlong into a wild hope that something could come from late night embraces and shared secrets in the dark.
And in the moment of forcing doubt upon herself, tears welled in her eyes. It was an overflow of emotion she couldn’t control.
The tears immediately sparked fear in Zoey before Mira tightened the grip on her hand. Powerful, controlled Mira was crumbling in front of her and she didn’t know what to do. And god, was she a sympathetic crier.
Before her own tears could be seen, Zoey dove at Mira, letting go of her hand and wrapping her arms around her. She pulled herself to Mira, her arms wrapped around her neck and across her back.
She felt Mira’s shaky breath across her shoulder and Mira’s hand grip the back of her shirt, holding on to something she could never speak aloud.
Neither one spoke again that night. Zoey waited for Mira to relax most of the way before she was sure Mira was asleep. Then she nestled her face into Mira’s neck and closed her own eyes, ready to lose herself in dreams of what could be.