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"How's she doing?" Steve asked over tuna salad sandwiches. It was the same lunch they'd had for the last three days. If anyone wanted variety, Natasha figured they could volunteer.
"Not great." Natasha shrugged. "None of us are doing great, but... I think she's doing worse."
Steve nodded. "Well, you know her best. I think it's a good thing you brought her here. She shouldn't be out there alone."
Natasha had had a bad feeling when she didn't hear from Clint after the snap. She might have been on the run, but he knew how to contact her. She suspected he was gone, but grew concerned that the kids were now alone. She and Steve had taken a jet out to Iowa to check on the Barton's homestead.
The kids weren't there. Only Laura, sitting on her living room floor. She hadn't been crying, or drinking, or even watching the news. She just sat on the floor, clutching Nate's stuffed dog. No matter what Natasha said to her, she didn't respond. So, Natasha packed her a bag, and they took her back to the Avengers compound.
That had been a week ago, and Laura still hadn't said a word.
"I don't know if I can actually help her," Natasha said. "I can't bring back her family. We've already tried. I don't know how someone even begins to recover from this."
Steve smiled sadly. "You just have to be there for her. Everything else will work itself out."
"I sure hope you're right."
It was six days later that Natasha found Laura in the kitchen, cooking. She wasn't sure what to make of this. Was it a new level of breakdown? Or was she starting to come out of her stupor?
"Good morning," Natasha said.
Laura turned to look at her. "I can't do it anymore. Instant oatmeal for breakfast. Tuna sandwiches for lunch. Spaghetti for dinner. Every. Single. Day. I thought Tony would have had robot chefs or something here."
"Nope. Just me and the meals I can make without burning down the compound." Natasha took a few steps into the kitchen to see what was on the stove. Laura wasn't making a full spread of items, but it was eggs, bacon, and toast for at least five people. "And it's... just us here."
She looked down at the food she was preparing. The blank stare Natasha had become accustomed to returned for a few moments as she realized she had automatically made enough food to feed her family. She took a deep breath. "I guess we'll have leftovers."
It was the start of a new era. Natasha was ready for it, and not just because she was also sick of her own cooking. With Laura taking over a daily task, Natasha was able to focus more on her attempts to locate survivors and keep tabs on the changes to the planet. They began to fall into a pattern.
"I keep thinking about what I'm going to do next," Laura said one evening over dinner. "And I keep coming up blank."
"You can always go back to SHIELD. I hear they're desperately recruiting." Natasha said as she cut into the roasted chicken breast on her plate. "Or open a restaurant."
Laura snorted a humorless laugh. "You know, I thought about it. SHIELD, I mean, not a restaurant. I can't imagine how many things are different now. Assuming I can physically keep up after years of not training, there's all the technology and the protocols. I'd have years of catching up to do. That feels almost more depressing than going back to the farm."
Natasha put down her knife and fork. "Hey. You're not overstaying your welcome here. When I say you can stay as long as you want, I mean it. I don't care if it's a year or five years or forever. I don't know if you've noticed, but I've got plenty of space here. And I don't expect you to do anything."
At that, Laura almost smiled. "No, I know. I just think I should be doing something more than cooking meals. I need to fill my time. Get out of my own head."
"Well, if you want to do some training programs, I've got them. They aren't specifically the SHIELD ones, but I think all the SHIELD programs are built off stuff Tony designed."
"Like what?"
It was the first real tone of interest Natasha had heard from Laura. She smiled. "Whatever you want. Shooting, fighting, probably something for Falcon wings no one is using if you want to take up that."
"I'll keep my feet on the ground, thanks." Laura took a contemplative bite of chicken and swallowed. "I haven't been shooting in a long time. It was something Clint and I did together, but after he couldn't leave the property, I stopped too. It was less fun alone, and we didn't feel comfortable setting up anything at the house. It's a lot easier to manage arrows than guns around the kids. It... was a lot easier."
"There's a range in the basement," Natasha said.
"Is after dinner too soon?"
"Absolutely not."
Laura was different after that. She still rarely smiled or laughed, but she seemed lighter. She had a place to pour all of her grief and anger, running through multiple weapons and fighting programs every day. Natasha joined her sometimes. It was probably best for both of them to find a routine. Maybe for Laura, it was finding a purpose.
They were both sweaty after finishing up a particularly rigorous fighting simulation. Laura was still panting slightly as she bumped into Natasha's arm.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything," Natasha replied as she peeled off her t-shirt. She tossed it in a nearby laundry bin. There could have been robots to do the laundry, but no, she was doing that herself too.
Laura paused, looking at Natasha in her sports bra and workout shorts. "I—I don't know how to say this. You've done so much for me over the last few months, and I'd really hate to ask you for anything else, but..."
"Whatever it is, it's not too much," Natasha said.
"It might be. You can laugh at me if you want, but..." Laura took a deep breath. "I want to have sex. I've tried by myself, and I can't seem to stop thinking. I just need to get out of my head, and I thought... I don't know what I thought. I guess I wanted to know if you would have sex with me."
She stared at Laura. None of those were the words she was expecting, but as she considered it for a few seconds, it wasn't unwelcome. "Like a... friends with benefits kind of situation?"
"Maybe. Maybe more like "see how it goes" kind of situation." Laura shifted from one foot to the other. "If I'm being an idiot, you can tell me."
"You're not being an idiot. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." She thought about the tumbling and wrestling they'd done not ten minutes earlier. She certainly hadn't hated the way Laura felt in her arms. It had been nearly seven months since the snap. Natasha had no idea what anyone's timeline for grief looked like. She didn't even know what her own grief timeline looked like. What was the protocol for sleeping with your dead best friend's wife?
On the other hand, Natasha had brought Laura here to heal. So she wouldn't be alone. Maybe this was part of that process, too.
She took a step forward and gently touched Laura's cheek. She paused, letting Laura accept the touch, and then kissed her. Laura kissed her back tenderly, both of them feeling this out. Making sure it wasn't something else. At least not for now.
"I'm going to take a shower," Natasha said. She pulled away from Laura, but only far enough to take her hand. "If you want to join me."
Laura smiled. "I'd like that."