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Golden-grey evening light illuminated the distant slopes of the San Juans, fall-gold fields rushing up to the base of the slopes. Leaning back on the heels of his boots, Axel couldn’t help but think of the landscape before him as a painting. The colors were so vibrant and held each other in such sharp contrast that it was hard to believe such a sight was real.
“Hey kid, how’s it hangin’?”
Axel pushed off the old wooden fence and turned to greet his mother who was strolling over in her red-and-white checkered vest, brown-brimmed hat lifted back on her blonde head to show off her brilliant smile.
“Mom, I’m twenty-five. I’m not a kid,” Axel protested, crossing his arms over his chest right before she hugged him.
“Yeah, but you’re my kid,” His mom argued back. She let him go and leaned back on the heels of her boots. “And my kid just got a special letter in the mail.”
Together they hurried back to the house. Axel and his parents lived in his mother’s family ranch home, a beautiful old two-story house with a veranda where he and his mother liked to read. Wooden wagon wheels decorated the fencing of the veranda, put there by his grandfather when he’d lived in the home.
The interior was decorated with band posters, family photos, and artwork his parents had brought home from various travels. Both had grown up around the West Slope and met in high school, where they hit it off as some of the few metalheads in the school.
Axel and his mother made their way to the kitchen on the right of the front door, where a white business envelope sat on the center of the kitchen table. Axel picked it up and popped it open without a moment’s hesitation. His father appeared in the doorframe between the kitchen and the living room.
All three waited in anticipatory silence as Axel read the letter.
He’d done it. He’d made it into the pro-rodeo finals.
As soon as he turned to his parents with a wide smile, his mom shrieked with delight and his dad brought him into a tight hug.
“You got in!”
“Congrats, buddy!”
“We’re so proud of you!”
Axel could hardly believe it. Seven years of training, competitions, and falling on his ass had led him to this moment—he was going to have a shot at becoming a Pro Bull Riding champion.
~
Four months later, competition week arrived. Axel and his parents had rounded up three of their best bulls to contribute to the competition, and unloaded them into the pens underneath the event showroom. Having been up since four that morning, Axel was exhausted by the time the bulls were settled in and he could finally face plant on the mattress of his hotel bed that night. His particular competition wasn’t until the next evening, so there would be plenty of time to catch up on sleep and wander around the event center. His parents felt the opposite and were still out enjoying sight-seeing in Denver in below-freezing weather, to which Axel had told them he’d rather drop dead. For now, Axel engaged in one of his favourite hobbies—sleeping.
Morning came and with it the hustle of hurry-up and wait. The hotel served a free, lavish breakfast, Axel made sure to take as long of a shower as he could get away with before his mom started banging on the door, and then he dressed in his best jeans and dark blue button up. Well-worn brown cowboy boots and matching hat on, his mother made him pose by the portrait of a farmhouse that hung in their hotel room before they headed for the event center.
While it felt a little high-school senior year to have his parents so giddy about something he was doing as an adult, Axel couldn’t help but share their excitement no matter how cool he tried to play it. The show he’d qualified for tonight was a big deal—riders from all over the world were going to be there. He would have to try his best, and even then his best might not be enough.
~
“Vani! Get your ass over here now ! We’re about to get called.”
A young man’s voice rang out around the holding arena behind the main events center, and Axel was one of a few heads that turned to see. There was plenty of shouting going on, lots of people rushing by and getting organized as the rodeo progressed just a hundred yards away, so Axel didn’t really know why this particular voice drew his attention to the blond man it belonged to.
A cowboy sat on his horse, turned almost all the way around in the saddle and glaring at something behind him. Axel followed his gaze to see a guy with black hair sticking out from under his hat messing around with his horse near the back of the holding pen. It was clear from their gear that the two were team-ropers. Their event was right before his own which meant he needed to hurry his own ass up and get over to the bucking chutes.
The stands above the chutes were packed with teams, but thankfully Axel’s was easy to pick out. His manager, Xemnas, had shock-silver hair, and his best show buddy, Saix, had shock-blue hair. Combined with Axel’s fiery red, they weren’t exactly hard to find.
“You ready, Ax?” Saix asked as Axel joined him above their assigned station after pulling his safety vest over his head.
Since there were trick riders and cheers going around the full stadium, they had to yell to hear each other.
“Ask me when I’m on the bull,” Axel teased with a grin.
Saix, ever the serious one, simply nodded with his gaze fixed on the arena like he was watching a map. “You’ll do great. We both will.”
The trick riders finished their round, and the team-ropers set themselves up on the opposite side of the arena where the regular cattle chutes were. Axel recognized the duo who had been shouting in the holding pen earlier. The black-haired guy was on a large bay, while the blond was on a shorter palomino. Their ride was first, and Axel was impressed at how fast they caught the calf. Nine seconds, which was just one longer than what he had to stay on the bull.
Speaking of, the bulls had started filing into the chutes. Axel watched two go by toward the end before a massive white, black-spotted one stopped in front of him and Saix.
Axel was first in the lineup, and so as soon as Xemnas was ready, the three started strapping him onto the animal. Rope around the hind quarters, girth around the chest, Axel’s hand tied in—he was ready to go.
The announcer ran through the motions, the crowd cheered, and the gate opened.
Axel had been riding bulls for years—everything was second nature to him. The bull twisted right, Axel kept his seat. The bull switched left, Axel kept his seat. This bull kicked high—it was definitely a challenge to stay put when he went up at what could only be a forty-five degree angle.
Axel kept his seat.
The buzzer rang out and the crowd roared again.
Axel let the next buck throw him, hand coming loose and feet under him in a perfect landing. Then, he ran for the nearest fence while the bullfighters distracted the massive animal.
Looking up at the massive screens high above the arena, Axel saw his score displayed—eight-eight points!
If he wasn’t the highest ride of the night, he’d be shocked.
Pride swelling in his chest, Axel made his way back to the bucking chutes. Saix’s own ride was in just a few minutes and he wanted to be there for his friend.
~
Bull riding done for the night, Axel and Saix made their way into the back of the arena, laughing and chatting about how well their rides had gone. Saix had come in with an eighty-four, which put him in third place for the night. Axel still reigned champion, which meant the two of them would be going to the next round. Xemnas was just as pleased about the news as they were, talking with the other team managers just a few feet ahead.
“Hey! Good job on those bulls you guys, that was fun to watch.”
Axel and Saix turned to find the black-haired guy and blond cowboy walking up to them. The black-haired guy had donned a My Chemical Romance hoodie while the other was still in his blue button-up.
“Thanks! I saw your event, you both did awesome,” Axel held out his hand, and he and the black-haired guy shook hands.
“Ah you can give all the credit to my cousin, he’s the brains and I’m just here to make sure he wins.” With a grin, the black-haired guy dragged the blond cowboy up with an arm over his shoulders. “I’m Vanitas, this is Roxas. He wanted to say hi but he’s a little starstruck by bull riders.”
“Ugh, Vani, shut up.”
Vanitas laughed while Axel offered his hand to Roxas. They shook, and Roxas offered an apologetic smile.
“Don’t mind Vani, he’s being dramatic. Y’all did great, though.”
Up close, Axel realized just how cute Roxas was. About half a foot shorter, some years younger, and oozing a certain confidence that his cousin had pretended wasn’t there.
“Are you moving on to the next round?” Saix asked.
“Yep! World Finals. I assume you guys are, right?” Roxas glanced between them with a happy smile.
“Sure are. What about the after-party tonight?”
“You bet! The music won’t be to my taste but the alcohol and cute girls will.” Vanitas let go of Roxas and clapped him on the shoulder, “I gotta shower so I don’t smell like horse. See you guys there, don’t be square!”
Vanitas walked off without his cousin.
Roxas watched his cousin go for a second before turning back to Axel and Saix. “Oh, I didn’t catch your names.”
“Mine’s Axel, and this is my buddy Saix.” Axel tapped Saix’s arm with his elbow.
Roxas smiled with a little wave. “Awesome, see you guys later!”
As soon as Roxas was out of earshot, Saix said in his matter-of-fact way, “Ten bucks says you hook up with that guy.”
Axel laughed and shook his head, but there was no denying it—Saix knew his type too well.
~
With music bumping, drinks flowing, feet shuffling, the Grizzly Rose was jam-packed for the rodeo after party. Axel and Saix had claimed a corner of the bar for themselves where they could relax on stools and people-watch. The air smelled vaguely of cigarettes since smoking indoors had only been banned for two years.
Two drinks in, Saix spotted Roxas and his cousin Vanitas hanging out with some other guys halfway across the dance floor, gathered around a standing table. The guy Roxas was talking to looked almost identical to Vanitas but with mouse brown hair, and the guy talking to Vanitas was taller than the other three with long, silver hair.
Saix nudged Axel with an elbow. “Go shoot your shot.”
Axel scoffed, “Don’t push it too hard. This place is way too public.”
Saix rolled his eyes, “You can still say hello .” Without warning, Saix took Axel’s drink and slid it over next to his own. “Go on, get after it.”
Axel made a show of pouting before he got to his feet and crossed the floor. His heart jumped as Roxas’ wandering gaze caught sight of him. Axel couldn’t help a smile—the guy really was cute. Dressed in a white and black baseball tee with black jeans and high-op sneakers, one would never guess that Roxas rode horses for a living. Axel couldn’t say as much for himself, as he was wearing a buffalo plaid, blue jeans, and cowboy boots.
“Hey, Roxas,” Axel greeted as he sidled up beside him. “Long time no see.”
“ That’s what you go with?” Vanitas chuckled from where he stood catty-corner to Axel, sipping a drink.
Axel and Roxas shot him a glare in unison.
“How’s your night been so far?” Roxas asked, giving Axel his full attention by turning his back against the table. He swirled the old-fashioned he was drinking around, sending the cherry inside for a spin.
“Oh, you know. Won a bull riding contest, enjoyed some drinks, trying to make some new friends.” Axel leaned his elbow on the table, testing Roxas’ personal space a little to see what he would do.
Roxas held his ground, a smile teasing his lips. “Sounds fun.”
“Rox, who’s this?” A curious voice cut in across the table, and both Axel and Roxas turned to find the brown-haired Vanitas-look-alike grinning at them.
“Oh, sorry. This is Axel, he won the bull ride tonight. And this,” Roxas pointed a finger across the table, “is my other cousin, Sora.”
Sora hooked an arm over Vanitas’ shoulders. “And this is my twin! Can you tell?”
Axel glanced between Vanitas’ scowl and Sora’s beaming smile. They looked like they could be the angel and demon over Roxas’ shoulders, and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Yep, I can definitely tell.”
“Then this is my boyfriend Riku,” Sora switched his arm to bring the silver-haired guy who towered over the cousins but, up close, was shorter than Axel.
A little spark of hope lit at Sora’s introduction of Riku—if one of them was already dating a guy, there was a lot higher of a chance that even if Roxas didn’t like men, Axel wouldn’t have to worry about an aggressive response.
“Nice to meet you,” Riku held his hand out over the table, and Axel met him halfway for a shake.
“You guys too. Where are you all from, anyway?” Axel turned his attention back to Roxas.
“Cody,” Roxas answered as though that were explanation enough. “You?”
“Grand Junction. You mean Cody Wyoming?”
“Yeah! Have you been there?” Sora asked.
“My family took a trip to Yellowstone once when I was a kid, and I think we stopped through there. Then I’ve ridden in a few contests there over the last few years. It’s pretty.”
“Gets old when you’ve lived there for twenty-six years,” Vanitas griped, but no one paid him any attention.
Axel had, with no foundation whatsoever, assumed Roxas and the others were from Colorado. Cody was easily a ten-hour drive from Denver, much less the Grand Junction area where Axel lived. Any idea of asking Roxas on a date died on Axel’s tongue at that. Tonight, whatever happened, was gonna be the start and end of it.
As the conversation went on and he and Roxas chatted about their hometowns, family businesses, and love for rodeo, Axel tried not to let the disappointment sink in. Everything he learned about Roxas convinced him that the two of them could have really gotten along well, even as best friends, if given the chance. Similar taste in music, food, adventure. Not something Axel had ever been able to find back home—and not for lack of trying. It seemed Roxas was interested, too, if the way he’d gradually leaned into Axel’s space as they’d talked meant anything.
The conversation eventually lulled, and Axel watched Sora and Riku spin each other around on the dance floor.
“Hey, we should dance,” Roxas suggested, drink held to his lips and eyes watching Axel over the rim of the glass.
“Yeah?” Axel couldn’t help a little smile—Roxas really was on the same page, and Axel hadn’t had to do more than say hello.
Setting his drink down, Roxas held a hand out. Axel took it, and let himself be lead onto the dance floor. They didn’t go far in, just a few feet away from the table where Vanitas still sat, head down and passed out from too much liquor. Roxas had reassured Axel that was normal for him. Alcohol apparently made Vanitas and Sora sleepy.
Roxas took Axel’s other hand, too, and they lined up for a line dance. A Kelly Clarkson song was playing, and Axel tried his best to keep up with the fast beat. Roxas was a natural, so Axel tired to mimic his footsteps. It lead to a lot of laughs between them when Axel started tripping over his own feet.
“Give me a punk band any day,” Axel teasingly grumbled after the third song of miserable failures.
Roxas took it upon himself to try and teach Axel, and by the time the last song of the night came on he had somewhat found a pattern that worked for him. The song was slow and therefore the easiest of the night.
Roxas stepped in, as though following his pattern, but rather than step back, he pulled Axel’s hands down to his waist and slipped his own up Axel’s arms.
“This okay?” Roxas asked, and Axel could only nod.
He was so used to being the one who had to be forward that Roxas taking the lead was throwing him for a loop. A really, really good loop.
Roxas laid his ear against Axel’s chest, and Axel’s body lit up with warmth. Roxas was easily a head shorter than himself. It was…so cute. He’d never dated anyone with that great of a height difference.
Dated.
He and Roxas weren’t on a date, couldn’t go on one. That warmth rolled into a tight ball of disappointment as the song began to wrap up.
“Hey, Roxas?” Axel asked as the last notes played and the venue turned the lights up to entice everyone to leave.
“Yeah?” Roxas looked up with a sleepy smile.
“Can I get your number?”
Roxas’ face lit up like the sun. “I thought you’d never ask.”
~
How’s the drive?
Axel’s text had sat unsent in his phone for nearly the entire day. Despite a fun night together, and trading numbers, he still felt nervous and silly about keeping in contact with Roxas. The distance between their hometowns was massive, and Axel wasn’t sure how to make something that long-distance work. He’d never had to try before.
But, he supposed it started with keeping in contact. So, he’d tried to come up with something to talk about. In the end, all he could think of was to ask Roxas how the drive through Wyoming was going. And, knowing Wyoming, the answer was likely self-explanatory.
His phone pinged where it lay on his desk back in his parents’ home. Axel and his parents had arrived home mid-day, while Roxas was probably only about halfway home. Cody was a lot farther from Denver than Grand Junction.
Looking up from his laptop where he’d just started a movie, Axel wondered who could be texting him. Saix lived in Colorado Springs, so it might be him cause he’d be home by now, too. Hitting pause , Axel set his laptop aside and picked up his BlackBerry. A message from Roxas’ number graced the screen.
Make it home safe?
Phone in had, Axel returned to his bed. His hands felt a little shaky. Roxas was still thinking about him, too. That had to be good, right?
Axel tacked on a yeah to the beginning of his text, then his send. He held his breath, wondering if Roxas would respond right away. After a minute passed, Axel forced himself to set the phone aside and return to his movie.
The phone pinged.
Lots of dead grass and deer.
Axel laughed. Yep, sounded just like Wyoming.
You should ask the deer to put on a show for you.
Roxas sent back three laughing emojis. Then, Vanitas said he’d watch that.
Axel didn’t know how to reply other than a few laughing emojis in return. His phone lay silent for a while, and he got as absorbed in the movie as he could while still thinking about Roxas. He’d learned so much about the other man the night before, it was hard not to imagine what kind of dates he’d take Roxas on. Dinner, movies, concerts, late nights out under the stars.
If only he lived closer.
~
The house was in the best order Roxas could get it in. Trash picked up, all counters cleaned, Ventus kicked out to spend the week at Sora’s place. The couch in the living room was decked out with sheets, blankets, and pillows. A pizza from a local restaurant sat on the table, cooling and waiting for feasting.
Axel was going to be here in about five minutes, and Roxas could not get his heart to calm down. He hadn’t seen his new friend in six months, since they first met in Denver. It was no secret between his brother and cousins that Roxas had developed a crush on Axel in that time. They texted almost every day, and Roxas had been able to convince his mother to increase their phone plan so he could call Axel for ten minutes a week.
Naturally, she had asked why, so Roxas had had to pretend as though he and Axel were trading ranching tips. It helped that Axel did, in fact, live on a ranch, and so whenever his mom interrupted, it was easy for them to lie.
Axel’s parents didn’t seem to need any excuse—Axel made it sound as though they were just happy he had a friend to keep him occupied.
They had planned this trip a month ago, when Roxas had tentatively expressed how bummed he was that they had to wait an entire year to see each other again. Axel noted he’d love to visit Cody and Yellowstone, and the idea had spiraled into reality from there.
The doorbell rang.
Roxas took one last sweeping look around the kitchen and living room from where he stood in the main hall by the front door. Good enough.
Door cracked, Roxas peeked around to find a shock of red hair waiting for him. He swung it open, expecting smiles and waves—and instead found himself wrapped in a tight, warm hug. Axel even picked him up off the ground a little.
“Hey, Roxas!” Axel greeted, leaning away with a huge smile that matched Roxas’ own.
“Hey yourself.” Roxas laughed.
He couldn’t help but stare a little. Had Axel’s hair always been that cherry red? His eyes so soul-searching? Arms strong enough to pick him up?
Axel wore a matching smile, “Wanna show me around?”
“Sure.” Roxas nodded, grateful for the redirection, and waved Axel inside. “It’s not much to look at, but home is home.”
Axel dropped his bags in the hall and followed Roxas into the kitchen-living room combo of the small house. Axel skimmed over the band posters hung everywhere with an approving eye.
“Sublime, that’s a cool one,” Axel grinned as he glanced back at Roxas.
“Vani found that at a thrift store a few years ago. They’re one of his favourites.”
“Makes sense,” Axel chuckled as Roxas hovered near the pizza on the table.
“I grabbed this for dinner but we can get something else if you don’t like it.” Roxas brushed his toes over the hardwood floor, feeling a bit awkward and shy now that Axel was here. He really, really didn’t want to mess this up.
“Nah, you know how much I love pizza,” Axel waved off his worry and slid into the chair next the one Roxas stood over.
Roxas knew. That’s why he’d picked one as close to Axel’s favourite that the local shop could provide.
Picking up a plate beside the pizza box, Roxas handed it to Axel. “You first.”
“Thanks!” Axel gave him a grin and popped the box open. “I’m starving after such a long drive.”
Pizza distributed, the pair dug in.
They kept in contact so often that for a moment, Roxas was worried there wouldn’t be anything to talk about, But, Axel quickly solved that by talking about a new video game he wanted to buy, which just happened to be on Roxas’ radar. Even though this was only the second time they had been together in person, after the first half-hour it felt as though they had never been apart in the first place.
~
One night left.
All they had together was one night left.
Roxas was trying his best not to pout as he and Axel set the living room up for one last night of movies. Tomorrow they were going to go out for breakfast, then Axel was going to head home.
Throughout the week, Axel had expressed how much fun he was having and how much he was enjoying Cody. They’d gone out to dinner a few times, enjoyed a movie at the local theater, went hiking around a local trail, and met up at Sora’s house for a barbaque and games. Roxas had felt a little bad about having a quiet night in as their last activity, but Axel wore a pleasant smile as he helped Roxas organize pillows and cushions to create a little fort.
Fort complete, Roxas and Axel laid under the throw blankets and gathered their snacks. Roxas hit play, and the bold, brash title of Indiana Jones filled the screen. Axel had never seen the Indiana Jones movies, and Roxas had the entire set on VHS.
Near the middle of the movie, Axel shifted beside Roxas, and then Roxas felt a hand on his under the blankets. Instinctively his hand twitched to draw away, but in the same second he realized Axel was trying to hold it.
“Sorry,” Roxas grunted, flipping his hand over the same way his stomach flipped.
Axel let out a soft, nervous chuckle of, “All good,” then his fingers slipped through Roxas’.
Both young men held their breaths for a minute as they adjusted to this new thing between them. Then, Axel shuffled under the blankets so he could rest his head on Roxas’ shoulder. Once settled, Roxas dropped his head against Axel’s.
Cuddling with Axel felt both exhilarating and like the most normal thing in the world, as though they had simultaneously never done it before, and had done it every day of their lives.
When the movie ended, neither of them made a move to get up as the credits rolled. Roxas was particularly comfortable bundled up in the blanket and Axel’s warmth, with sleep just a few minutes away.
Axel shuffled his feet under the blanket, “Hey Rox?”
Roxas’ heart tripped in his chest as he picked up some nervousness in Axel’s words. “Yeah?”
“Can I kiss you?”
Roxas swallowed around a suddenly dry mouth, “Y-you want to?”
Axel untangled himself enough so he could sit up while still holding Roxas’ hand. His thumb traced light circles as he nodded, green eyes flitting between Roxas’ lips and gaze.
“Yeah. Been thinking about it since the Rose.”
Roxas couldn’t help a smile and teased, “ The Rose ? What are you, Clint Eastwood?”
Axel’s grin matched his, “If you want me to be.”
Roxas lifted their hands from the blanket, and pressed a small kiss to Axel’s fingers. “Please?”
Axel moved their hands out of the way and carefully leaned down to press his lips against Roxas’s. Their eyes slipped shut, their noses brushed against cheeks, and Roxas finally got to taste what that hungry look he’d so often felt like.
A moment later Axel leaned away, but Roxas didn’t let him get far. Hands forgotten, he looped his arms over Axel’s shoulders and made his way onto his lap to straddle him. Axel’s hands fell to Roxas’ hips to steady him.
“Woa Rox, what’cha doin?” Axel asked, though the smirk on his lips and glint of mischief in his eyes told Roxas he was okay with this change of pace.
“Been waitin’ too long for this,” Was all the explanation Roxas gave before he dove in for another kiss.
If Axel thought he was going home with just one peck on the lips, he was sorely mistaken.