Chapter Text
Getting Steven was a surprise. It was two weeks before the wedding, and both of Jeremiah’s best men were surprising him with a fishing trip before his bachelor party the day after. Belly was in on it—hell, she was the one who came up with it. Twenty-four hours on a boat in the cape was no small feat, so Conrad was out picking up supplies in the morning. She told Jere that one of her high school volleyball friends was staying a few towns over, and they were getting lunch, and she wouldn’t be back for a while. Conrad picked her up down the street, and they went to Steven at the train station.
The music in the car ride back was slow but happy. Belly was practically vibrating with her excitement. Conrad was driving, with one hand steady on the wheel, giving a rare smile to her excitement. Steven was in the back, pretending to be annoyed at his sister's enthusiasm, but he was not hiding his glee well.
While the wedding wasn’t everything that Belly wanted, she got to spend the rest of her life with her true love, which made up for all of the unnecessary fuss that came along with the large wedding.
“I can’t wait to see his face! I know that his bachelor party is all of his frat brothers and you guys, but I think that it’ll be super nice for him to have one last day with you guys before the”—she paused, thinking of the right word to say, while Steven raised his eyebrows at Conrad through the rearview mirror.
“Craziness that can come with all of them,” she said, finally settling on a word that seemed somewhat appropriate, although she was giving them a bit of grace. But that was probably going to be Conrad's problem, wrangling all of the drunk members of Beta Sigma Nu, which was no small feat. She had seen her fair share of drunken antics with that group, and although she always supported Jere, she secretly wished that he wasn’t so involved with them.
She hummed along to the tune, bobbing her head up and down as they pulled onto their street. Jere's Jeep was still parked out front, along with another car, which Belly had never seen.
“Strange, I bet that’s RedBirds. I didn’t know he was coming early.” She proclaimed, hopping out of the car and practically skipping up to the front door. She put her fingers to her lips, ushering Steven and Conrad to be silent as they surprised him. She led them through the door and tiptoed (rather dramatically) to the kitchen, stifling her giggles, where she guessed Jeremiah would be.
The house was silent. She expected to hear the boisterous laugh that belonged to RedBird or screaming at some video game, but there was nothing. Only the sounds of the waves hitting the cape accompanied the three of them as they made their way closer to the kitchen.
“Jere! I’m home early, and I brought a surprise with me!” she said, in a singsongy voice, before turning the corner and seeing him.
He was in his swimsuit, the blue one that she had gotten him for his birthday last year, making out with a girl in a red bikini who she had never seen. She was sitting on the island, straddling him. His arms were slung around her shoulders, and her arms crawled up his chest, exploring. Then, he saw them. Jeremiah went as pale as a ghost; his eyes widened as he made eye contact with her and saw not only Conrad but also Steven behind her, with looks of disbelief and anger plastered on their faces.
Belly’s face dropped as she searched for something to grab onto, which happened to be Conrad’s arm, her fingernails almost piercing his skin out of pure anger. Tears started to well in her eyes as Steven blew up at Jeremiah.
“What the fuck?! I mean, actually, what the fuck?! You’re cheating on my sister?! You’re supposed to be marrying her in two fucking weeks, you piece of shit!” he proclaimed, as Jeremiah stepped back from the mystery girl and tried to make his way over to where the three of them were standing.
“I—I,” he stuttered as he moved in our direction, but not before Steven got in his way.
“You need to stay away from her, better yet, from all of us, you fucking cheating pig.” He said, getting real close to him and waving his finger right in his face. “If I ever see you in the vicinity of my sister again, it’s on sight.”
Jeremiah looked over at Belly, whose face was becoming more and more angry.
“Bells,” Jeremiah finally exclaimed, his face pleading for her to even look at him. Steven was about to say something, probably threaten him again, but she beat him to the punch.
“Steven’s—Steven is right,” she said, her voice cracking as she held back tears. “You need to get out. I don’t want to—I can’t see you again.” She removed her hand from Conrad's forearm, feeling momentarily guilty for the huge bruise that would likely form before a surge of anger overtook her as she saw the ring on her finger. The ring was his commitment to her, a promise that he would never make those mistakes again. Turns out, she was wrong to trust him. Wrong to ever go down that path again. She took the ring off of her finger and placed it on the island, sliding it to where he was standing with Steven. She could feel everybody's eyes on her, but she didn’t even care anymore.
Jeremiah stared at it, sitting right in front of him on the marble countertops, before looking up at Belly, whose face had shifted from sorrow to a rageful stare. He looked over to Conrad, who looked more disappointed than angry.
“Conrad, I—” he said, before being cut off by the man himself
“Steven and Belly are right; you need to leave.” His voice left no room for interpretation, as his gaze was firm on him; Steven's bags that he was kind enough to carry were left discarded on the floor now. She didn’t know when that happened.
Conrad walked over to where Jere was standing and grabbed him by the forearm, escorting him to the front door, also signaling with his head for the mysterious woman to follow them. Before the bikini-clad women left, she turned around, and with remorse-filled eyes spoke for the first time, making direct eye contact with Belly as words flowed out of her.
“I’m so sorry; we had no idea that he was in a relationship. I’m so sorry to tell you this, but he’s, uh, well, hooked up with a few of my friends. We’re staying in town for the summer, and we always see him on the beach. I’m so sorry. I obviously would have never done anything with him had I known.”
Belly's eyes got wider as she spoke, each word twisting the knife.
She continued on, trying to grab Belly’s hand before she snapped it away, saying, “My name is Maddy. If you ever want to talk to me or any of my friends, we’re at the Airbnb by the highway, the green house. I’m happy to give you my Instagram if you want to chat or anything.”
Belly looked up at her and, with tears running down her cheeks.
“Thanks" She said, almost sounding as if she was gasping for air. "I’m not mad at you; I just want you to leave.”
“Of course,” Maddy replied, before giving a Jeremiah a death glare. He stood frozen in shock. Conrad's grip on his brother's arm remained firm as she walked by and left out the front door, Conrad pulling Jere out right behind her. He stood on the front porch with him, letting go of his arm but not the look on his face.
“What the fuck, Jere? Four years together. You’ve had four years with her, and it’s not enough.” Jeremiah's face turned venomous as they looked up at Comrade, finally making eye contact with him
“It’s none of your business. At least she chose me, Conrad. I was the one she wanted, not you,” he said, and with that he turned around and got in his car, driving off, leaving Conrad standing on the stairs, front door ajar, mouth wide open.
He was pulled out of his shock when he heard Belly's sobs from the living room as he turned around and shut the door, walking towards her. She was sitting on the couch in a ball, crying as Steven, red-faced and fuming, paced back and forth behind her. He looked up at him when he came back, and Conrad gave him a slight nod, signaling to him that Jeremiah was gone.
Conrad went to sit next to Belly, slowly reaching to her, softly resting his hand on her back, before she collapsed onto him. He put his other arm around her, apprehensively rubbing slow circles on her back. He doesn’t know how long they stayed like that. Steven went for a walk and probably called Laurel. Eventually, Belly’s sobs stopped, and she fell asleep in his arms as the moon and stars came out. Steven was out, getting pizza and candy and anything else that Belly might have wanted. Conrad picked her up off of the couch, bridal style, and started walking her up the stairs to her room. Her eyes fluttered open. She didn’t cry, but she most definitely wasn’t okay. She snuggled into his arms.
He remembered the last time that he carried her. Six months ago. Everything was different, and yet it felt the exact same. He set her down on her bed, and before he could turn around, she grabbed his hand.
“Can you stay?” She asked, her voice small, afraid that he would disappear forever if she let go.
“Of course,” he responded before adding, “Let me close your blinds first; you need good sleep. Doctor’s orders.” She watched as he went around as her room slowly became covered in darkness. He sat down at the end of her bed, unsure of what she wanted. She moved over before patting down next to her. He apprehensively laid down, leaving a large gap between them. He stared at the ceiling for a while as she silently cried, trying to make it so he didn’t notice. He always did.
He turned to look at her, wanting nothing more than to reach out and hold her forever. She looked back at him, and it was possibly the most intimate moment that they had ever shared. The moon was peeking through the blinds and illuminated just her face.
“This wasn’t even the first time,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Before we got engaged, I found out that he slept with another girl when he thought we were broken up. We weren’t. And then I went and got engaged to him right after I found out.” Her voice cracked as she told him.
“It was so stupid of me. I just—just couldn’t lose him. I lost you, and I regret that every day. After Susannah, I let you go. I shouldn’t have. I think that I was so scared of losing both of you that I didn’t even realize how bad he was for me.”
Conrad looked at her and truly saw her. He saw the hope for a fairytale romance that she carried since she was a little girl. He saw the grief that she carried from not only Susannah but also him. He saw the weight of being Jeremiah's person. He saw her regret for letting him wither away in his misery and grief. Conrad had always prided himself on being an observant person. He thought that he understood everyone around him. It was just now that he fully saw Belly.
“Bells, you never lost me,” he replied, his voice so soft that she could barely hear him above the air conditioner. “If anything, I pushed you away. But I was always there for you if you ever needed me. You just never asked.”
She nodded, letting a final tear escape before closing her eyes and letting sleep overtake her. He stayed until her breathing evened out, and then a bit more. He emerged from her room and slowly descended down the stairs to see Steven sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a beer, with a pizza in the middle of the table, half eaten. He nodded to Conrad, who grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat across from him.
They ate in silence, letting the sound of the ocean do the talking. Eventually, Steven spoke up.
“Thank you, bro. You handled that, uh… situation so much better than I would’ve. You really are her knight in shining armor. You literally carried her to bed. Talk about Prince Charming.” He said, chuckling, in an attempt to bring some cheerfulness to the bleak meal. Conrad looked up at him, slowly nodding.
“Yeah, man, of course. What Jere did—I, uh, I mean, I don’t even know where to start.” Conrad said, as Steven slowly nodded back to him.
“My brother is an ass,” he said, before adding, “Belly deserves so much better. I think that she always did.”
Steven kept nodding; a lot remained unsaid.
“My dad cheated on my mom, actually,” he said, as Steven’s eyes widened. “Yeah, I know. I found out just before that last summer with my mom. It was with his secretary, Kayleigh. And he’s bringing her to the wedding. Or he was. He, uh, told me and Jere that he was in love. I don’t think that Jere knows. Maybe he did; I don’t know. He was always so desperate for his approval; he’d do anything to get him to like him. Honestly, I wouldn’t put that past him now. I didn’t think he was capable of a lot of things, but he always managed to surprise me. I don’t even know who he is anymore.”
Steven sat shocked at Conrad’s truth bomb, letting it sink in, before responding by saying, “Shit, man, I had no idea. I’m so sorry. Adam’s a dick, and so is Jeremiah.”
Conrad slowly nodded along to his words and took a final sip of his beer before getting up and grabbing the pizza box with only a few slices left.
“I’m probably going to go to bed; I’ll put this in the fridge for tomorrow. I don’t know when the last time that she ate was.”
Steven looked up from his beer at him and responded by saying, “Yeah, man, it’s been a long day for sure. I’ll text her that there’s pizza in the fridge for her if she gets hungry. I’ve never put a midnight snack past her.”
Conrad chuckled, low and mournful, before leaving the kitchen and heading up the stairs. He paused in front of Belly's room, door slightly ajar. He peeked in. She hadn’t moved. Guilt washed over him for leaving her, but he couldn’t stay. He loved her, and she just called off her wedding with his brother. He knew that his mind was playing tricks on him with her. There was nothing there anymore. She saw him like a brother. A brooding, reclusive, secretive brother who broke her heart. It didn’t matter how she looked at him that night; he would never be hers again, and that was okay. He had made his peace with it.
Belly woke up the next morning alone. She wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t help with the deep sadness that she was already feeling. For the brief period of time when she dated Conrad four years ago, she thought she knew everything about him. She didn’t. She was young and naive and didn’t see how much he was hurting. But she was in love. The first boy to ever give her butterflies. She understood him now. His care for Belly was in the silence. He didn’t need to make some grand romantic gesture; his presence was just as, if not even more romantic than, a huge, amorous gesture that Jeremiah would do for her.
That’s where the two brothers differed. She took Conrad’s lack of action as a sign that he didn’t love her and Jeremiah’s loud declarations of love for just that—love. But maybe she got it wrong. Jeremiah was making up for the fact that he never was able to fully be with Belly, to truly be her person. He knew, deep down, that there would always be a place in her heart for the quiet, sensitive boy that stole her heart as a child and never gave it back to her. Conrad's science was love. His love was his concern for making sure that she’d eaten that day. Conrad’s love didn’t need to be proven. It was always there. He didn’t need to make up for anything or prove himself against anyone. It was always him. He thought she knew, and maybe she didn’t then, but she knew now.
It was as if she had jumped into the ice-cold ocean and had come up to breathe for the first time. She saw everything clearly. Maybe she wasn’t ready to say it aloud, but she knew. She got up from her bed to get changed, and in her closet was Junior Mint. The hope that she had held onto for so long, stashed away like a shameful secret. She took him out, dusting him off, and took a long look at him. Her future was so uncertain right now. She had just called off her wedding to her cheating ex-fiancée, whose brother she was in love with and used to date. Everything should’ve been confusing, but instead, she saw clarity. She saw her future. It would be messy; life always was. But she knew the truth now. She put on her favorite red bathing suit and a pair of shorts and walked downstairs. Conrad was nowhere to be seen; Steven was asleep on the couch. He didn’t hear her come down, nor did he hear her sneak out the back door. She carefully placed her towel and her shorts on a lounge chair and then dove into the pool head first, letting the water wash away yesterday, and the day before, and the past four years.