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“Ara Ara, Tomioka-san, this is why you have no friends!” Shinobu teased Giyuu, for the tenth time today.
She was well aware how cruel her words were. How much words could hurt someone, especially someone like Giyuu, someone extremely withdrawn with no social skills at all. But it didn't stop her from doing it in the slightest. (She would never admit it but she could see the hurt hidden deep in his eyes when she said something particularly cruel, it made her feel like a horrible person.)
But her teasing seemed to make him finally snap this time. But it wasn't like she didn't do this everyday, so the reason he snapped today of all days was unknown. Why didn't he snap sooner? Why did he lose it today?
“Shut up, Kocho.” He hissed, his tone surprisingly venomous. A strange, unfamiliar sound from the normally calm and stoic man. Usually he was very docile, calm, laid back even, he was pretty much like a socialized kitten! Even if he wasn't social in the slightest…But today…today it seemed like they may see a pig fly, because that was more likely then seeing Tomioka showing emotions, and here he was, clearly upset.
Shinobu was visibly taken aback by his tone and words, “Oh my, Tomioka-san! I was simply-”
“I SAID SHUT UP!” He screamed, yes, Giyuu screamed, barely holding back a huge storm of swears that had been building up for a long while. It's uncommon knowledge, but Giyuu actually has a very hot temper that could rival Sanemi's own temper, and when he's mad..you'd wish it were your mother scolding you instead. Thankfully, his temper didn't flare often and he was very good at hiding his emotions from those who didn't deserve to be on the receiving end.
It quickly caught the attention of the rest of the Hashiras, and they hastily moved forward, in case something happened, quickly picking up on the surprising aggression in Giyuu's voice and body language. It was…unsettling and concerning to say the least..
They couldn't risk Giyuu lashing out violently, no matter how surprised they were at the mere thought of that happening. They didn't want him to get kicked out of the Corps, no matter how much some of them…disliked..him. They couldn't afford to lose someone.
A few of them, Mitsuri, Shinobu, and Muichiro, who were closest, noticed that there were tears in Giyuu's eyes, full of sadness and pain. It was an awful sight to see, as well as a rare one. Mitsuri desperately wanted to cry for him, but she held it in, she knew she wouldn't be of any help to Tomioka if she had a breakdown…but..her big sister instincts were screaming at her to hold and comfort him.
Nobody had ever seen the stoic Hashira break down like this before, most of them thought he wasn't even capable of doing something like this. It was difficult to even imagine him frowning, but to see him so clearly upset in front of them? God, it was horrible.
Then, just when everyone thought things might start to calm down, Giyuu began to speak.
“You have no idea what it's like! You have no right to ‘tease’ me about having no friends when you don't even know me! It's not right! Fuck, even if you did know me, you would know how fucking cruel that is and you wouldn't do it! You're a bully, Kocho!”
“I-...” Shinobu trailed off awkwardly, she didn't know what she could do to soothe the poor guy she set off. How was she supposed to make this better? Her words would mean nothing, especially at a time like this when she had been the cause of his hurt, the cause of his outburst. God, she feels so awful, she really shouldn't have teased him so much..especially about being disliked and having no friends.
Thankfully, Mitsuri stepped in, “Tomioka-san…why are you so upset? Would you like to share? Or do you just want us to be quiet? Would you like it if we all stepped away for a while? Maybe we could come back to this conversation later, when you're feeling better, would you like that?” She was cautious with her words, she wasn't afraid of him, no, not at all. She was worried about him more then anything. About what he might do if his anger boils over and explodes worse then it already had.
Thankfully, her words and tone seemed to calm him down just a bit, but it didn't stop the steady flow of tears now rolling down his face.
Sanemi and Obanai glanced at eachother, they both had their view of the Water Hashira shattered right in front of them at that moment. This was clearly NOT arrogance. It was fear, sadness, pain, and heartbreak.
Pain that no one knew he had carried, pain that none of them had been able to see because he hid it so well.
Tengen wanted to punch himself in the face for not realizing how much the younger man had been suffering. He wished he had known that Giyuu's silence was hiding his screams. Maybe he would of been able to help him.
Rengoku took a small step forward, reaching his arm out slightly, “Tomioka..what pain are you hiding? Do you wish to share with us?” He asked, his voice far softer then ever before.
Before Giyuu could say anything, Gyomei spoke up, his deep voice gentle, caring, and soothing, “Tomioka…perhaps you should speak of the pain you hold so deep in your heart..I can feel the air around you, it is very heavy. I pray for you each night, but the heaviness only grows by the day. I am..concerned for you.”
The smaller Hashira looked up at the giant, rubbing his eyes roughly as the words fell from his mouth effortlessly.
“It's…It's just not fair! Kocho and Kanroji are eachother's Sabito! Uzui and Rengoku, Shinazugawa and Iguro, even you, Himejima-san, you have Tokito…you all still have your Sabito but I..” He trailed off, voice softening with a small crack as he looked away from them, eyes full of shame as he rubbed his arm, “But I lost mine…”
“Tomioka..?” Gyomei said softly, a slightly questioning tone in his voice, hoping Giyuu would elaborate further.
Thankfully, Giyuu seemed to realize that he needed to elaborate to be understood, “I lost my Sabito…he was my first, best, and only friend…and he was gone so fast it-! I wasn't even- I couldn't-..” A small, strained whimper escaped him, “I was completely useless..I was passed out the whole time..”
There was dead silence, nobody dared to say a single thing or move a single muscle. They didn't want to set him off or discourage him from speaking, so they did what they should have from the very start; they listened.
Giyuu grit his teeth, “I lost him. He was the one who made me feel better after-..after her. And he was the one who made me a man, it was him. And I know it's childish, but it's just not fair! None of it is fair! I just envy all of you so much because all of you still have your Sabito. And it's not fair..”
There was a pause before Tengen spoke, “Tomioka…what do you mean when you say that? That we still have our Sabito?” He asked, voice softer then anyone had ever heard from the flamboyant man.
“You know…Sabito. A best friend..someone you couldn't live without..someone who's always there for you. Someone who laughs when you fall and helps you up after laughing, someone who doesn't judge you, someone who..someone who just understands and accepts you as you are, no matter what.” The way he spoke made everyone realize that Giyuu believed it to be common knowledge, and while it was true for a real friend, it was the Sabito part that threw them off.
It was silent for a long time as everyone realized that Sabito was truly Tomioka's best friend. And likely the only one he had had in years…oh, they were awful people, weren't they?
Gyomei was sobbing silently at that point, he could feel the pain rolling off Tomioka in waves and it hurt his soul, may Buddha give Tomioka Giyuu peace.
Tengen winced, for a long time, he, just like everyone else, thought Giyuu was simply weird. But now that he knows that Giyuu was grieving this entire time? It hurt to know that a comrade was in so much pain and didn't feel like he could reach out to anyone, not even him. Tengen liked to think of himself as a big brother figure in the Corps, it was his way of healing after losing his siblings, so it stung worse when he realized Giyuu hadn't even trusted him enough to talk about his pain. Was he really that unapproachable to the stoic man?
Sure, he was really loud most of the time, but even Obanai had opened up to him about his past! He knows about Kyojuro's home life, hell, he even knows about Gyomei's past! But Giyuu…
Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't think that anybody knows a whole lot about him, except the normal things like his name, eye colour, hair colour, that type of thing. But other then that it was like he just appeared out of nowhere one day, like he hadn't even been born and had actually been created, much like a machine.
But beyond physical appearance and his stoic nature, there was absolutely nothing known about him. Maybe Oyakata-sama knew some things, but he had never spoken about it, which was fair, Tomioka didn't seem like someone who would throw his past around all willy nilly. No one would like that, really.
Heck, no one even knew who trained Giyuu, or even if he WAS trained! He could of been self taught after learning that demons exist. It wasn't likely, but it was still a possibility.
God, he feels awful, how on Earth did this happen? How did it get so far..
Giyuu could barely hear anything over his heart pounding, normally it was much slower then the average heart rate, but now it was racing. He wished Sabito were here. He would know what to do. He actually knew how to talk to people and communicate.
He wiped his tears away roughly and cleared his throat, “Um..I apologize everyone. Especially to you, Kocho.” He said, bowing low, “I was wrong for calling you a bully. I'm sorry for being immature. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way.” He said quickly, trying to leave.
But Shinobu grabbed his sleeve and gently pulled him back, her eyes full of tears and her voice strained with the effort it took not to cry, “Tomioka-san, wait! You have no reason to apologize. I believe we should be apologizing to you.” She took a deep, shuddering breath, “Especially me..I am very sorry for teasing you so harshly, you were right to call me a bully. I promise I'll stop teasing you about such things. But you need to communicate with us so we can understand you.”
“I'm not..good..at communicating..”
“Trust us, dumbass, we know.” Sanemi sighed, rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache.
“Shinazugawa-san-!” Kocho scolded, her voice unheard due to Gyomei scolding Sanemi at the same time.
“Shinazugawa, let us not break the fragile bond we have just formed with Tomioka. Please excuse his words, Tomioka, he did not mean it offensively.”
“I've been called worse.” Giyuu said flatly, no sign of the previous emotions he had shown. It was almost scary how fast he went from angry, to sad, to completely emotionless. It was like his outburst hadn't even happened.
The group shared subtle glances that Giyuu didn't catch, all of them silently promising to do better in the future.
Tomioka deserved to be happy, just like all of them.