Chapter Text
Noises. That was the first thing she heard when she woke up. Footsteps, clanks and words. People.
Agar agar peeked from behind the hot stone pillar, eyes steady on the moletatoes in front of her. She had been waiting for the miners to show up for hours, the creatures lugging sacks and pickaxes around as they punched in their shift.
Her breaths came in slow and soundless, as was the rest of her dough. Finally. I've been waiting for an hour. She rolled back her shoulders, sighing. Agar agar threw her dagger, watching it bounce off the cave wall inches in front of her target's face.
Shoot, that didn't sink in. I need to train with this type of knife more often.
The started moletato screamed, alerting everyone in the mines. Heads turned to the trembling worker, who was looking around to find where the weapon came from.
"WHAT- WHO THREW THAT?" They yelled.
She stepped out from behind the boulder. Heels silent, she coughed to grab their attention. "Hello," Agar agar waved, sweetening her voice.
"Who are you! What are you doin'!"
She took a bow, rising up again quickly. "This is my mine now." She ordered.
A brave one stepped up from the crowd, raising his pickaxe. "No, it's not! Leave at once!"
Agar agar grabbed one of the different throwing knives tucked in her robe, her real weapons. The fear that shook the workers was nothing compared to what would happen next.
In a flash, she threw one, watching it knock the tool out of his hand and incase it in ice.
"WITCHCRAFT! SHE'S GOING TO TURN ALL OF US INTO ICE! MONSTER, MONSTER!"
They all ran for the exit, dropping their picks and bolting it. Once the area had been evacuated, Agar agar picked up her magic knife, pulled out her phone and dialed the pinned number.
"I take it you've finished your job."
"Yes, send the doggies." She replied.
"Alright. I'll go inform Red Velvet to bring his hounds. Remember, you stay there until phase three starts. Don't disappoint me, and you'll get that feast."
"Okay, Pomegranate cookie."
She hung up the call, leaving Agar agar to wait for the general. The child looked around the mines for a hiding spot, when she found a brightly colored lunchbox. The cartoony box contained food, reminding her of her gnawing hunger.
A little reward, since the cake monsters would not be here for at least a couple days and she had not eaten a proper meal in a week. Rations from the base were bits of dried fruit and granola.
Inside the box was a bear jelly burger, along with jellies and even a slice of cheesecake. Her stomach curled.
The worst part about not eating was how impossible eating actually was. Nausea made her detest food, despite how much she wanted and needed it. Agar agar felt like throwing up at the thought of pushing it into her mouth.
She did her best not to sniff it, and took the first bite of cheesecake.
Forcing herself to chew, she looked away to the burnt sienna stone, refusing to close her eyes. The darkness made it so, so, so hard to not collapse.
A few more spoonfuls before she was done with eating. It sickened her, the full feeling with the sickness. She would vomit all this food away if she ate any more.
Once done, Agar agar took and placed the lunchbox behind a pillar to ration, sitting on a rocky ledge.
More waiting. She hated waiting.
Every mission involved a lot, making Agar agar hate it. The worst part was that she had a way to pass the time right on her, but Pomegranate cookie specifically said to only use it for work while out.
She wanted to text Poison mushroom and Licorice, but the fear of having all her privileges taken away kept her from slacking off. Agar agar had already found out the fury she'd endure for this crime.
The only thing keeping her from boredom was the occasional miner or two peeking in and promptly screaming and fleeing once she aimed a hit in front of their feet.
No casualties for now , she reminded herself after accidentally slicing the beard hair off one. She would have to put more thought into not killing them.
When the cake hounds finally arrived, she spread them through the caverns and told them to go scare more moletatoes. The fluffy little warriors would speed up the process, making every mining spot inaccessible.
Less waiting. Hopefully.
Once the fifth day arrived, voices emerged from the entrance. Agar agar got ready to throw a blade, stopping once she saw the orange glow.
None of the workers glowed. But this strange cookie did.
Moving into a position where she could see better, she watched the panicked miner speak to the man, hearing him call her a "monster" and claiming that she would "freeze the entire valley over!"
Surprisingly not the worst things she's been called.
Back to the cookie. He radiated heat, an aura of confidence and power in his movements and voice. "Let's go see if this monster is as tough as you said!" He yelled.
Once she made sure they were far enough from the door that she could hit them, Agar agar revealed herself.
"Monster, monster! That's the one who's been wreckin' our mining!" The shorter one yelled, trembling.
"... that's a child. She's hardly scary?" He muttered.
The moletato screamed. "N-no, don't you see? She's real bad! Look away for a split second, and she'll turn you into a chunk of ice!"
Ah, so he was one of the workers from when she first arrived. Agar agar remembered, the worker yelling at her to get out. How brave.
How foolish.
"Aw, come on! She's a cookie, how bad could she be? Sure, she's a little slimy, but other than that she looks normal! Are you sure you didn't get the wrong one?"
Before he could reply, Agar agar cut in. "You, who are you?"
"Oh no, she's going to kill us! We're done for!" He grabbed the guardian, who flailed to get him off. The animal was a scared wreck.
"Hey, get off me! Go hide behind a rock or something!" He scolded.
"Your name?" She repeated.
"Shut up, both of you! Okay, who are you?" The cookie asked her.
"I'm Agar agar, Agar agar cookie." She answered. "Now, tell me please."
He rolled his eyes. "Fire spirit cookie, God, how do none of you know me? I really need to go to town more..."
"I know of you, I was just making sure." She said, smiling. "Fire spirit cookie, you are my target."
"Wha-" he barely had time to react before she sliced his shoulder with a frost tipped knife.
Fire spirit cookie sucked in a breath, watching in horror as the open cut began to incase itself in ice. He shouldn't have been able to be hit, let alone freeze. It should have melted and turned to gray goo before it even touched him. He was raising his temperature enough to burn things, this was impossible!
"The monster has gotten to you! Help! Help!" Screamed Starchy.
"That's not any ice, that's Frost queen cookie's powers!" He realised. How did this slimeball get her life energy?
No matter, she's still a cookie. Time to end this. He panted, gathering flames to turn into a fireball and throwing it at her. The girl simply did a barrel roll to the side and threw another blade, this time grazing his leg.
"No cookie should have been able to keep fighting after that..." He muttered in disbelief. "Even if it wasn't a direct hit she still shouldn't have been able to walk... just who is this kid!"
What happened that made her this strong?
Agar agar had a dark grin on her face as she tossed out weapon after weapon, planting itself into the stone behind him.
"Why isn't your fire burnin' them up!" Starchy was trying to bury himself against the rocks as much as possible.
"Because the metal is laced with magic frost!"
As Fire spirit said that, a throwing dagger hit his cape and pinned him to the wall, his back crashing into hard rock.
He coughed, hacking up jam. The speed of that made him choke, breath wet with red.
Before he could rip it out, another landed through his part of his arm, jam sealed with a thick layer of numbing cold.
That's going to hurt.
She stared at him, disappointment in her eyes. "Weak. Is that all you've got? Pomegranate cookie made you sound so much tougher. Getting that meal will be easy."
"Weak? I'm just getting started." He lied. As good as Fire spirit was at convincing other cookies, Agar agar wasn't just another regular shmegular civilian who would trip over themselves to speak to the guardian.
"Excuses." She held a knife out, coming closer. "You're boring. It'll be sad to freeze you to a popsicle."
Am I really so easily taken down? I know I've been a crummy guardian, but I didn't think I would be this much of a loser.
"Don't listen to her!" The guardian looked to Starchy, who was cupping his hands around his mouth as a microphone. "You're burnin', hot as a campfire! No, hotter! As bright and fiery as a volcano, no, the sun!"
"Shut it, miner."
He slapped a hand over his mouth, shaking like an earthquake.
She turned back to him, only a few feet away. "What are your last words?"
Fire spirit started laughing. "Not these ones. Starchy, get out of here. I'm not holding back."
The moletato saluted him then took off for the exit, short little legs taking him to safety.
He's right. I may have been hot trash, but I can still be better. Come on Fire spirit, prove yourself!
Embers surrounded him in a ball, burning bright hot and rejuvenating him before scattering in a burst of sparks.
"W-what?" Her face dropped, watching the knives and ice melt away into piles of water and molten steel. The liquid dripped off him and sizzled on the floor. "How?"
"Well slimeball, you forgot you were dealing with the Guardian of Dragon's Valley!" He announced, then spinning a wall of fire around them.
She was cornered.
Agar agar started throwing knives again, coughing her lungs out. Every knife was caught by the fire and turned to ash and puddles, making no effect on the man.
"No! Pomegranate cookie will be... No! I can't- I need to..." She rambled, gasping in and out as a thick haze blocked her vision. Her troubles only worsened when he disappeared through the flames, hidden.
"Looks like while you're immune to blasts, you're not smoke proof." His voice sounded through the cavern. "Wow, I haven't had a rush like this in... actually I don't know. I need to think."
He paused, sifting through a millennium of memories. "Ah, I remember! It was when I was in the Ever-burning Flame! Yes, when the Red Dragon lent me some of their power."
The power that sleeps inside me.
She called out for him. "Where are you!"
"Right here." He appeared behind Agar agar, hitting his staff against her head and knocking her out. The hot wall subsided into nothing, the only thing left was smoke in the air.
A figure was clouded with ash, a blurry silhouette. Are there more of them? Fire spirit shot a fireball there, standing on guard. He was shocked when a green arrow collided with his attack, the fire burning it up into ashes and sizzling out.
"Huh? Wind archer?" He asked.
The man lowered his bow. "I was expecting a warmer welcome."
"Screw that. What brings you to this neck of the... volcanic wasteland, dude?"
"Don't call me that."
"What should I call you then?" He teased, leaning on his staff. "Pookie bear? Darling?"
"I have no time for your nonsense. What happened here? Has the Darkness gotten to the Dragon's Valley?"
"Not sure about the whole Darkness thing, but I did just get into a hell of a fight."
Wind archer's hand clenched around his weapon. "With who?"
"Her, Agar agar." Fire spirit pointed at the unconscious body below him. "As you can see, I've had troubles with this particular little cookie. Came in and started disrupting the mines and stuff. I don't have time for this 'Darkness' crap."
"She's a child."
"Do you see these walls? Not just your regular kid. Now, I have stuff to do."
"But a calamity has come. I need to inform you."
"Fine, fine! Must be pretty important to make the keeper of the forest fly all the way here to this lovely valley."
"I witnessed countless Nature's children tormented by this threat. All Guardians must know of our enemy, Dar-"
"Yeah yeah, business talk stuff. You sound weird when you're so formal. I'll take care of Dragon's Valley, chill."
"No, you need to liste-"
"Nuh uh."
He sighed in frustration. "Fire spirit!"
"I don’t have time to deal with you. The whole place is in shambles even with me around, I can barely keep this dump under control! Plus, I gotta deal with this slimeball and some 'Pomegranate cookie' she kept talking about."
"Pomegranate cookie?" Wind archer gasped.
"What, you know who that is?"
"Pomegranate cookie is a devout follower of Dark enchantress cookie, the Darkness I've been speaking about. She is the one behind the cataclysms of our world. We need to stop her."
"Wait, so Dark enchantress cookie was the cookie who placed a hit on me?"
"...she WHAT?"