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Melissa could barely watch as Jackie walked out of the cabin. She tried to move, to follow her out, but her body was unresponsive. It was almost as if she was stuck in a vat of molasses - unmoving, sticky, useless.
Her jaw was glued shut and her throat seemed to constrict suddenly, trapping her voice down in her larynx. She choked in a harsh breath, willing herself to say something - anything - as the door swung shut.
She wanted to get up and grab Jackie. to bring her back inside and force her and Shauna to reconcile. This was hardly their worst fight and there was no point in letting their relationship be torn apart from it. (It was her fault they were broken)
But, she couldn't move. She couldn't raise her arm to gesture Jackie to come back, and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth when Jackie glanced at her as she argued, begging for backup against Shauna.
Melissa just looked away.
A scream sounded from outside the door. It wasn't Jackie’s. (It didn't happen this fast) Suddenly, the molasses was gone, allowing Melissa to dash towards the door and fling it open.
She was met with the sight of Shauna kneeling in the snow, cradling the frozen body of their girlfriend in her arms as tears poured from her eyes and screams of agony ripped from her throat.
Melissa could only stand there, shock etching its way over her face as the loud sobbing of her girlfriend washed over her. She should have done something, anything, to help them. to stop Jackie from leaving.
She shouldn't have let them start fighting in the first place, she shouldn't have let Jackie go out there, she shouldn't have let Jackie stay out there.
Jackie's cold, unseeing eyes clicked over to look at her as her stiff, blue lips forced out one last angry accusation, "This is your fault."
Melissa's eyes shot open as she took in a small gasp of cold air. She squeezed her hands into tight fists, letting her nails dig into her palms to ground herself in the pain.
It had been two months since Jackie died, and she had been plagued by the same nightmare every day since then.
She finally sat up, wrapping her blanket around herself to preserve warmth. Everything counted in the harsh winter. Anything to avoid ending up like their team captain.
Melissa glanced beside her, at the empty space on the floor where Shauna's sleeping bag used to occupy. Shauna had moved up to the attic with Taissa and Van not long after Jackie's death.
It was preferred, at first. Melissa could barely see past her blind range at Shauna - the one who had pushed Jackie out in the first place - to care about where she slept, as long as it wasn't near her.
As time wore on, however, and as the nights got colder, Melissa grew to miss Shauna's warmth next to her. It wasn't Shauna's fault, anyways. None of them could have predicted the snow.
"But you could have stopped Jackie from going," a voice whispered in her ear, day in and day out. And that was true. It was her responsibility to be somewhat of a mediator between her girlfriends and she failed. She failed and they all suffered because of it.
She had tried to seek Shauna out, after a couple of weeks, to find comfort in her warmth and to share the loss of one of the most important people in their lives together. But when she stepped into the meat shed after the short trek through the snow and saw Shauna sitting there with an unresponsive Jackie, she couldn't help a sob from escaping her throat as she fell to her knees.
It was too fresh of a wound to keep poking at. The pale skin of her girlfriend paired with the horrible heavy grease of her unwashed hair and the limpness of her body and limbs were too much to bear. The tears freezing on Melissa's cheeks as they rolled down in thick rivers only served as a reminder of what she had caused.
She could barely see as Shauna stood there frozen, clearly unsure as to whether Melissa was still angry with her or if she could comfort her. Despite that, there was no familiar comfort in the way she pulled Melissa into a hug or stroked her hair softly. The warmth was foreign to her - this was clearly not one of the girls she fell in love with back in Wiskayok.
Shauna had slowly led her back to the cabin, the short trek seeming miles longer with this stranger's hand in her own.
Even after that, Shauna still kept herself from her. She continued to spend most of her days in the meat shed with Jackie, while Melissa stayed as far away as possible. She kept sleeping in the attic while Melissa slept near the other girls.
Day by day, Melissa could feel their relationship flaking away like old paint, wearing down until nothing remained.
She shut her eyes, blocking out the empty space beside her and sucking in a deep breath through her nose. It wasn't worth it getting this worked up, she told herself, Shauna and her would make up and fix their relationship and everything would go back to normal.
At least as normal as possible.
She scrounged up her bedding, folding it quickly and shoving it close to the wall. Anything to bar herself from spending another day stewing with guilt in bed.
Though, they didn't really do much else during the day anyways. It wasn't as though they had activities to do. Their only deck of cards had no queens, so almost every card game was out of the question.
They had exhausted every form of entertainment, so there was nothing left to do but sit and wait for Natalie and Travis to come back with any news about Javi, or for Shauna to come back in from whatever she did in the meat shed with something to eat.
Melissa knew that one day, there would be nothing remaining in there. They all did. But they tried not to think about it.
The rest of the day passed as expected. Slow, cold, boring. At one point Nat returned. Melissa watched her trudge towards their makeshift map of the area to expand it. The cold seemed to seep off of her, permeating the space and making Melissa shiver slightly.
She kept an eye on the door, waiting patiently for Shauna to step through. Despite the newfound distance between them, Melissa couldn't help but still seek her out. It was instinct.
Through the window, she could see the shed door open and she watched the blurry blob of her girlfriend trudge out, making her way back to the cabin.
As she got closer, Melissa could make out the finer details of her face. She could see how her eyebrows were twisted and her lips were curled. All of the small things that together painted a melancholy picture that Melissa was not pleased to see.
She knew better than to try and confront Shauna, they were still on tense terms. However, to her surprise, as soon as Shauna stepped into the cabin she glanced around, making quick eye contact with Melissa, and started walking towards her.
Her expression had hardened into grim resolution as she came to a stop in front of her.
"Hi," Melissa choked out, surprise colouring her tone. Shauna just continued to stare down at her, searching her eyes for something that Melissa couldn't place.
Seemingly she found it, lifting her hand for Melissa to take as she muttered, "Come with me."
"Shauna, can we-"
"Mel. Just come with me. Please," Shauna cut her off.
Melissa couldn't bring herself to be mad at her for that, not with her big sad doe eyes and the, honestly, scared expression on her face.
She sighed, quietly, and placed her hand in Shauna's. She let her hoist her up, and followed her as she walked them both towards the ladder that led to the attic.
Melissa glanced around the cabin, mentally filing all of the girls around the room until she could know with certainty that they would be alone up there, and then looked back over to Shauna. She hadn't looked back at her, only taking time to occasionally glance down at her other hand, which hadn't left her pocket once.
Melissa knew she could pry, but surely Shauna would tell her about it if it was something incredibly important, right?
Shauna let go of her hand as they climbed the ladder, and Melissa automatically missed the comfort it brought her. That was the first time Shauna had touched her in weeks and she missed it like a craving.
They stood in the attic together, the stove below warming up the air. Melissa crossed her arms as she stared at Shauna, who had drawn her fist out of her pocket and was rubbing it with her free hand, like it would bring her good luck.
Melissa could barely handle the awkward silence anymore as she blurted out, "What do you want, Shauna?"
Surely it couldn't have been to hang out with her. Shauna looked too uncomfortable for that. Or maybe that was just how it would be now, a weird space between them that Jackie used to fill.
She watched as Shauna took a deep breath, and then unfurled her fist.
At first, Melissa had no idea of what she was seeing. The fleshy, crescent shaped object in Shauna's palm didn't ring any bells in Melissa's mind.
"What is that?" she asked, stepping closer to get a better look.
Shauna sucked in a harsh breath, "I didn't mean to. She was- I was-"
Suddenly, Melissa knew. Her hand shot out, covering the severed ear. She gagged slightly as her hand touched the cold flesh.
"Oh my god," she brought her free hand up to cover her mouth, trying to hold back the bile that would inevitably try to escape her stomach, "Where did you get this? Why did you keep it?"
Shauna took another deep breath, fear flitting over her face, "Out in the meat shed. Jackie- I- She- It was an accident."
Melissa shuddered, the flesh of the ear under her hand brushing her palm slightly.
"What are we going to do with it, then?" she asked Shauna, as calmly as she could while the terror continued to creep up her spine. Blowing up at her would not do any good for the situation and she knew that.
Shauna just blinked at her with wide eyes, a small frown marring her beautiful face.
"What if we ate it?"
Melissa recoiled in horror, drawing the hand covering the ear back to her chest in disgust and gagging once more when she saw the flesh resting in Shauna's hand.
"Shauna, what are you talking about? No. No, we can't," she said, her tone shaky at even the thought. She could feel the texture of flesh on her tongue and between her teeth, and it unnerved her.
"We're running out of food. I can't let you starve, Melissa. We should eat it," Shauna pleaded. It was a sweet sentiment, but unfortunately it was ruined by the situation.
Melissa shook her head, "But we can't just eat an ear! That’s- It's-"
"It's Jackie , Mel."
Melissa’s voice halted in its tracks. Shauna was right, it was Jackie. Sweet, beautiful Jackie. She let a fresh wave of sorrow wash over her. It had been so long since she had let herself think of her alive. Her beautiful smile. Her kind eyes.
She could almost feel the tenderness of a soft hand caressing her cheek. She could feel the hair around her ears shifting, and a soft breeze whispered against them as though someone was muttering into them.
“We can’t just eat her,” She protested, weakly.
Shauna let a soft smile replace her frown, stepping closer to Melissa and taking her hand. She held the ear between them like it was a gift to be cherished, and Melissa found she had an easier time looking at it than she had before.
She could see the tiny hole on the lobe from where Jackie had pierced her ears, and the small scar on the helix from when she had fallen and scraped it while biking.
She felt Shauna give her hand a small squeeze, and looked up at her.
“She would have wanted us to. She loved us. She wouldn’t have wanted us to starve,” Shauna whispered, her deep brown eyes boring into Melissa's with an intensity she had missed in the time they spent apart.
Melissa's breath caught in her throat, only allowing for a breathy whimper to escape her lips. She was hungry. She nodded, slowly, her eyes flicking down to stare at the ear.
It was still a deathly pale, unlike any colour she had seen Jackie before. She watched as Shauna freed her hand from Melissa's grip and grasped the ear with both hands. She watched as she took a deep breath and quickly snapped it in half.
The snap sent a sharp twang up Melissa's spine, the frozen ear too easily snapping in half for her comfort. It seemed almost chalky in texture, though that was to be expected as the frozen flesh warmed in Shauna's palm.
She took one half of the ear from Shauna, holding it between her thumb and forefinger. It was slightly squishy, and definitely would not be an enjoyable texture. But, it was Jackie. And Jackie made everything better.
She felt a hand on her cheek, and looked up, making eye contact with Shauna. She could feel the small callouses that were beginning to form on the pads of her palm scrape gently against the soft flesh of her cheek.
Shauna grinned at her, raising the ear slightly like a toast. Melissa nodded.
“I love you, Jackie,” she thought, as she squeezed her eyes shut and quickly popped the ear between her lips.
She could feel a soft gust of air as Shauna did the same, but all she could focus on was the piece of flesh in her mouth. She was right, the texture was horrible. The cartilage was tough and chewy.
It tasted like Jackie, though. She could almost feel her again. A whisper of Jackie's bright laugh brushed past her. A fleeting memory of bright spring days and the faint scent of flowers rushed through the room, stirring the air.
As she chewed, the flesh almost started tasting like the sweet flavour of cherry lip gloss brushed over her puckered lips. Almost.
She swallowed and opened her eyes. Shauna stared down at her, clearly having swallowed the piece long before she had. She wasn’t looking at Melissa's eyes, though. She could tell Shauna was watching her lips, or her jaw as she chewed the piece of their girlfriend, or her throat as the chunk slid down it into her stomach.
Her eyes were wide with wonder and something hungry that Melissa couldn’t place. The hand on her cheek slid to her jaw, cupping it tightly.
She made eye contact with her again, and Melissa could see the poorly veiled excitement on her face.
She glanced down at Shauna's lips, which were parted slightly. She watched as her tongue darted out and applied a thin shimmer of wetness across her lips. She was mesmerised.
Shauna surged forwards, pressing their lips together in a hot kiss. Melissa quickly reached up to cup the back of Shauna's head, while Shauna's other hand slid down her side and under her shirt to rest on her waist. She shivered at the exposure to the cold air, but Shauna just pulled her closer.
She could taste the lingering flavour of Jackie on Shauna’s tongue as it slipped between her lips, drawing a breathy whine from her. It tasted better with her, though. Tasting her girlfriend on her other girlfriend's lips stirred something inside of her that she didn't dare question.
Shauna's fingers slid down her side, teasing at the waistband of her pants, drawing another quiet moan from her throat. She could feel herself getting more excited, as her body heat began to rise slightly.
Just as her fingers began to dip deeper, they heard a shout of, “Dinner!” down below.
They quickly separated, wiping off their lips and readjusting their clothes. Melissa couldn't help but feel disappointed. This was the first time in so long that she had time with Shauna and it got cut short.
She turned to Shauna, to say something. But, Shauna was already making her way down the ladder. Melissa sighed, and followed her to dinner.
——————
The next morning, Melissa slowly blinked awake, her mind fuzzy from fatigue. She was cold, and when she glanced down she realized she had kicked off her blankets in the night.
Normally, she would just assume she had overheated, however it was absolutely freezing in that cabin, so there was no way that was the case. She shivered violently as she pulled it back into her arms. At least the blanket was warm when she draped it over her shoulders and got out of her makeshift bed.
Suddenly, her mind was flooded with memories from the evening before. Jackie’s ear. Shauna. Eating Jackie’s ear and making out with Shauna. She could feel her legs weaken slightly as the intensity of the kissing returned to her, along with the taste of Jackie.
What she couldn’t remember, however, was her dream from that night. For the first time in a while, she hadn’t been forced into the same, horrifying, reoccurring nightmare. Maybe it was because she had kissed Shauna? Or maybe Jackie was protecting her. She didn’t know, but she was happy to be rid of it.
Although her day started the same as many before, Melissa couldn’t help but let the rush of being with Shauna the night before propel her through it with more optimism than usual.
Shauna was still out in the meat shed like usual, but maybe she would return to Melissa that evening and they would be able to continue what had gotten interrupted the night before. Just the idea made her warmer.
As she sat outside on the porch watching the other girls giggle amongst themselves, she was shocked to see Shauna walking out of the shed earlier than usual. She looked happier as she made eye contact with Melissa and trudged over to her.
She sat down beside her, leaning on her shoulder. In turn, Melissa wrapped an arm around her side and pulled her closer. She could hear the other girls chatter get quieter, no doubt whispering about how they finally made up and all that.
“I braided her hair. To cover it,” Shauna whispered to her, her breath forming a cloud in the cold air.
Melissa shuddered at the thought of her braiding their dead girlfriends hair, but nodded slightly. It was better than anyone finding out about the missing ear.
“You could come talk to her, you know. If you miss her.”
Melissa shook her head, “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
Shauna looked like she wanted to protest, but her attention was quickly pulled away by a yelling Tai emerging from the meat shed.
She quickly pulled away from Melissa, meeting Tai near the other Yellowjackets. Melissa missed her warmth, and stood to follow her.
As Tai began to yell at Shauna, Melissa stepped forward, moving to get off the porch, but Shauna shot her a look to stay out of it. She wanted to intervene, they couldn’t handle another groundbreaking argument, not like last time, but Shauna's look was clear. “I don’t want you to get blamed for anything.”
“Tell them what you’ve been up to with Jackie.” Melissa could tell Taissa was having a hard time controlling her anger, as her voice raised to an almost shout. She froze, because what if Tai had found out about the ear?
Shauna didn’t look at Tai, her eyes shiny as she stared at the ground, “Just.. talking.”
Tai scoffed, turning to the rest of the Yellowjackets. Her eyes met Melissa’s first, almost seeking some sort of guilt in her gaze, but Melissa quickly glanced back at Shauna.
“Talking? Shauna’s been braiding Jackie’s hair. She’s been doing her fucking makeup!” Tai exclaimed.
Melissa’s eyes widened. Shauna had kept that from her? She searched Shauna’s face, looking for any indication that Tai was lying, but nothing. Her heart squeezed in her chest. She knew they were both hurting from the loss of Jackie and each other but she didn’t even realize how harshly Shauna was taking it.
Taissa turned back to Shauna, “And you’ve been posing her, right?” She accused, “Adjusting her limbs like some fucked-up doll.”
Their teammates clamored in shared horror, clearly disturbed by the notion of Shauna essentially playing dress up with a corpse.
Melissa could see Shauna trying and failing to hold back tears, Her cheeks were red and her lips were pressed together tightly. As soon as the first one dripped down her face, she was off.
It didn’t matter to her if Tai accused her of anything, she couldn’t just leave her girlfriend stranded there. Not again. As soon as she reached Shauna, she wiped the tear from her cheek.
Shauna let a watery smile grace her features as she turned to hug Melissa, burying her face in her shoulder. Melissa could feel the tears soaking into her coat but it didn't matter to her. All that mattered was that Shauna was getting comfort.
Tai stared at them, clearly upset. But, not at them. For them. “Shauna, this has to stop.”
Shauna didn’t lift her head from Melissa's shoulder.
“For your own good,” Tai continued, glancing at Melissa, “And for Mel’s, too.”
Melissa took a deep breath. While she appreciated Taissa’s attempt to help, it wasn’t her place to decide for Shauna what was good for her, or them.
It was.. Nice, though. The idea of getting Shauna back. She didn’t let herself dwell on it.
Taissa’s words finally made Shauna lift her head from Melissa’s shoulder, her still damp eyes now shining with anger, “You don’t get to decide what is or isn’t good for Mel.”
“Well, It sure as hell isn’t this.”
Melissa could feel her throat constricting, trapping her voice once more. She wanted to say something, to speak up. She could tell them what was good for her. She could tell them that it was fine and they should leave it be. But all that would escape her throat were quiet wheezes of breath.
Shauna didn’t look at her, looking back towards the ground. An angry frown curled onto her face. She knew she wasn’t beating Tai at this argument.
“We are getting rid of Jackie’s body-” Taissa started, determination set in her tone.
“No!” Shauna protested, “No, We- we can’t even bury her. The ground is frozen solid.”
Melissa could hear the scared, breathy desperation in her tone. Her eyes had widened and her frown had grown into an almost crazed smile. She was right of course, they couldn’t get rid of the body.
“But we can cremate her.” Melissa's heart dropped. They- No, they couldn't cremate Jackie, there would be nothing left of her. Another harsh wheeze escaped her lungs as the horror set in. This was Jackie they were talking about. She didn’t deserve cremation here. She deserved a beautiful grave with a headstone and lots of flowers.
But, Melissa knew in her heart that she couldn’t let Shauna keep going on like this. She knew, deep down, that Tai was right.
She could feel Shauna tense up beside her as Tai called for the others to search for firewood. She needed to distract her. There was no use in letting Shauna get angrier than she already was.
Melissa stepped in front of Shauna, grabbing her hands and holding them close to her chest. Shauna looked at her, anger draining from her expression. She sighed.
They walked together to the porch of the cabin, sitting to observe the other girls as they went about preparing for Jackie’s cremation.
The silence was heavy as they watched, and Melissa knew she should say something.
“Do you remember,” She muttered, “The first time she took us to the beach?”
Shauna blinked in confusion for a moment, then turned to her with a small smile, “Was that the day you told her you didn’t need sunscreen and then got the world's worst sunburn?”
Melissa giggled quietly, “Mhm. Jackie had to nurse me back to health with all her fancy moisturizers.”
Shauna chuckled, shaking her head softly. Mel’s heart warmed slightly. She knew that this is what they should have been doing, missing Jackie together, instead of drowning in sorrow apart.
They continued to reminisce about their time with Jackie, as the other girls collected the firewood to burn her. They had dragged her out a while ago, leaving her laying on the cold snow a few meters away from the fire.
Melissa couldn’t look at her. She kept her attention firmly on Shauna.
Jackie would want them to be happy, though. Melissa tried to remind herself of that. She wouldn't want them moping around all depressed.
She watched as the anger drained from Shauna's face while they talked. As her eyebrows unfurrowed and her lips curled up into a sad smile. She was obviously still upset about the way things were turning out, but she wasn’t going to explode anymore.
Melissa heard the crunch of snow under boots in front of them, and glanced towards the noise. Lottie stood in front of them, quietly observing. Melissa let a grim smile grace her features, and then glanced over at Shauna.
Lottie had been helping all of them out there, with her circles and her somewhat crazy prophecies. Shauna didn’t seem all that amused by them, but Melissa knew she still cared for her opinions and ideas.
She watched as Lottie held out a hand to Shauna, something shiny glimmering in her palm, and said in her typical, dreamy tone, “I thought you would have wanted to have this.”
Melissa strained her neck to get a glimpse of what Lottie had brought, and sighed quietly when she saw Jackie’s heart necklace resting there. Shauna had gotten that for Jackie, long before they had met Melissa.
“Thank you, Lottie,” She said, once she knew that Shauna wasn’t going to say anything. Shauna nodded in agreement and grabbed the necklace from Lottie's palm, shoving it into her pocket.
She heard the girls heave Jackie up onto the bed of firewood, wincing at the grunts and quiet scraping sounds. They didn’t know how to handle her, not like she or Shauna did. She wasn’t theirs.
She felt Shauna grab her hand and stand up beside her, carefully heaving her up. She finally took the time to look at Jackie, laying on the firewood, cold, stiff, and alone. The sight made her freeze, her own cold crawling up her feet and sticking them to the floor.
How could she have left Jackie to that fate? How could she have done this to one of the girls she cared about so much? It was almost too much to bear, looking at her like she was. Her stomach churned, and a freezing cold, ear-shaped lump seemed to make its way up her throat.
She felt Shauna tug her arm, somehow dragging her towards Jackie. Her body protested getting closer, stomach churning faster and legs feeling more and more like lead as they made their way together towards her. Seeing her up close would make it far too real.
She didn’t want to see the delicate details of her face, frozen over in the months since she passed. She couldn’t stand to see her usually shiny hair matted down with months of grime.
As she got closer, however, the turbulence in her mind and body slowed. She stepped next to Jackie and it was almost at a complete stop, like the eye of a hurricane. Looking down at her girlfriend, her hair braided and makeup done, she could almost see her smiling up at her, eyes bright.
She could tell Shauna felt the same, as she let out a quiet breath of relief. Maybe that's why she spent all that time with Jackie, so she could feel this same calm. It was refreshing. After months of being cold and alone, it felt like the sun was shining down on her.
Behind her, she heard Nat and Travis return from their daily hunt, but she didn’t care. She could only focus on Jackie in front of her and Shauna beside her. If she looked hard enough, she could almost imagine Jackie breathing, in the soft, quiet way she did when she was sleeping.
Shauna stepped away from her, but Melissa couldn’t even focus on that. She knew she would be back, to be with her and Jackie again.
She felt Shauna bring over the fire, the warmth spreading across her body and the smell invading her nostrils. This was it, Jackie was going to be gone. Even more than she had been before. She let the grief wash over her, tears beading in her eyes.
“Jackie,” Shauna said, her wavering voice washing over Melissa like a comforting wave.
“I’ll never have another friend like you,” She continued, before glancing up at Melissa. She knew what the gaze meant. “or you.”
“I don’t even know where you end or I begin.” She could feel the words burrowing in her heart, putting a voice to a feeling she too felt. Jackie had been their everything. They had each other, sure, but they also had her. What would it be like without her?
Melissa could hear Shauna’s next words get caught in her throat, so she continued for her, “Moving on without you will be.. Nearly impossible,” She chuckled wetly.
“I’m sorry,” she thought. The words caught in her throat as she considered them.
“We love you.”
She let Shauna light the wood, her eyes were too blurry to see anything but Jackie. Tears poured down her cheeks as quiet sobs left her body. The flames began to eat up the wood, spreading their orange light across the bed.
Jackie would have appreciated the beauty of it.
Melissa could hear the other girls turn to go back inside the cabin, but she couldn’t pull away from Jackie’s frozen body, which was beginning to warm from the fire. Shauna stood beside her, tears matching her own.
She reached out to grab her hand, lacing their fingers together for some comfort. They watched together as the fire rose to eat at the jacket still wrapped around her shoulders, and the end of her braid.
As the flames began to lick Jackie’s cheeks, she knew it was time to go. She turned away from the burning body, pulling Shauna along with her back into the cabin. She marched them right through the door, towards the spot she had claimed for her bed. She didn’t care if it had been ages since they had slept together, she was not going to leave Shauna alone that night.
She laid out her bedding, gently pulling Shauna down and into her embrace. They lay under the sheets, completely still for just a moment, before Shauna’s shoulders began to shake. The quiet sobs coming from her girlfriend triggered her own, and before long they were crying together.
It felt safe, though. They were going to be there for each other.
They laid together, crying, for a very long time. At one point, Shauna had fallen asleep, most definitely tired out from the intense emotions of the day, but Melissa couldn’t sleep. She didn’t know why, entirely.
There was no light shining through the windows as she laid there. She wasn’t even sure if anyone else was awake.
It was probably unfortunate that she was awake, because all she could do was think about the previous day. The image of Jackie burning was forced into the forefront of her brain, no matter what she did. The guilt returned too. The what ifs. What if she had stopped the fight? What if-
The thought didn’t have a chance to finish, as a strong, meaty smell flooded the cabin. Melissa sat up quickly, her stomach grumbling. Shauna was quickly awoken too, sitting up with her.
She glanced at Shauna, who glanced back and whispered, “What is that..?” clearly feeling the same hunger Melissa felt so deeply in her bones.
She quickly removed their blankets, standing up from the bed. She was pleased to see the other Yellowjackets doing the same. At least they weren’t imagining the enticing smell.
She stumbled forwards, following her nose through the cabin and out the front door. Almost all her thoughts were wiped from her mind when she saw the perfectly cooked body resting on the bed of logs that they had burned Jackie, hours prior.
One remaining thought was a simple one. How? How had Jackie not been burnt to a crisp? How was she here, still giving them her all, long past her death?
Melissa couldn’t help but walk towards the body, almost like in a trance. It was as though Jackie was beckoning for her with open arms. As she reached the bed, she kneeled in front of it.
She couldn’t help her mouth watering, just the smell reminding her of summer barbecues with her family.
Shauna stumbled into a seat beside her, also staring with wide eyes at the feast in front of them.
Melissa glanced around the table, watching as the rest of the team sat down, clearly all rejoicing at the meal that had been served.
“She wants us to,” Shauna whispered, her voice echoing loudly around the clearing.
Melissa watched as she raised her butcher knife to Jackie’s arm, slicing off a chunk of it. It was perfectly cooked, inside and out. It looked tender and not too dry. It was perfect, just like Jackie.
Shauna turned to her, offering the meat. Melissa leaned forward, taking it into her mouth. She chewed, the meat flavourful on her tongue. The juices slid down her throat, keeping it open and moist enough to let the food go down.
It was delicious.
The rest of the girls began to take their fill, ripping and biting at it to get the meat off the bones.
Melissa reached forwards towards the chest, digging her fingers into the middle and ripping it open. Some blood ran down her hands and down the body, but she didn’t mind. She pulled some of the meat out and turned towards Shauna.
Her pupils were blown wide, watching Melissa. They locked eyes as Shauna leant forwards, taking the meat into her mouth and chewing. Melissa moved to pull her hand away, but Shauna just grabbed her wrist. As soon as she finished chewing and swallowed, she wrapped her lips around Melissa’s pointer and middle finger, sucking the blood off.
Melissa blushed brightly, letting Shauna suck the blood off her fingers. The hot, wetness of her mouth never failed to make her flustered.
Once Shauna finished, they both turned back towards the feast. The other girls had begun to tear at the chest too, finding lots of well cooked meat there. What caught Melissa's eye, however, was that as the girls continued to rip it open, the heart was slowly revealed to the air.
She wanted it. She wanted it for her and Shauna. As she reached out to take it, she saw another hand reaching for it as well.
She was filled with a blind rage. Jackie's heart was theirs. No one else was allowed to have it. She slapped the hand away, and it obeyed.
Shauna leaned in with her, using her knife to cut the heart from the body. It was theirs to indulge in. She was theirs to indulge in.
They held it between them, each taking turns to bite into it, tearing pieces of the muscle off bit by bit until there was nothing left. Melissa could feel its heaviness inside of her. She could feel Jackie inside of her.
It was going to be the last time that was possible, after all, and she knew she needed to make the most of it.
They continued to feast on the cooked body, cleaning the meat off of her fingers, ripping it off of her arms and legs.
Melissa was starving, and no amount of Jackie could sate her. No matter what was fed from Shauna's fingers, or what was ripped of her own accord, the only thing she could do was keep eating.
She didn’t even comprehend the cold as a pleased wind picked up, and swirled around the table of hungry girls. All they would think of doing was continuing to feast.
They could have sat there for hours. Time felt as though it was moving at a snail's pace. Soon there was nothing left on the table, only bones and unwanted meat.
Melissa sat back, finally, leaning on Shauna's shoulder as the fatigue caught up with her. Over the tree line, she could see the sun begin to rise. Her stomach was full, and her brain was fuzzy and warm.
She could feel herself drifting off to sleep, and she knew it was okay. They would all be okay. Shauna and her would be okay.
Jackie made sure of that.
