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be still, my beating heart.

Summary:

In an instant, Toto becomes aware of his surroundings which he had all but ignored while his attention was solely on Ron. He suddenly notices all the pink and red décor of the restaurant and how the dining area ahead of him was largely occupied by pairs. Couples! The truth of the situation settles in his stomach like the weight of a stone.

A date. Toto gulps, his throat strangely tight. They’re on a date.

-

In which, it's Valentine's Day and Toto comes across Ron and Amamiya who are seemingly on a date.

Chapter 1: the wasted hopes of totomaru isshiki

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hues of lilac and pink bleed through a fiery orange sky as the sun bids adieu for the day. In contrast to the warm colors above, the mid-February air is bitingly cold though it does little to deter the bustling city of Tokyo. In fact, the chilly evening breeze is hardly the only thing weighing the atmosphere. An unmistakable layer of festivity blankets the districts and, as pairs both young and old crowd the streets, one thing was indisputable.

Valentine’s day was here! And love was in the air!

Toto Isshiki can’t help but scowl.

Love may have been in the air, but so was the height of his pile of work.

Every year around this time, Toto would find himself covering for colleagues who wished to leave work an hour or two early. What they do with the time Toto covers for them, he could only guess. Sometimes he stepped in for seniors who likely used the holiday to be with their families. Most other times it was for people around his own age who Toto assumes must be executing grand romantic schemes for their partners.

Either way, it was none of his business and Toto knew his colleagues appreciated the fact that he did not pry. When he first offered his help to his coworkers in this manner, he had been a fresh recruit in the department who had wanted to be useful in any way that he could. And really, Toto did like to help people out. He always had.

But perhaps in a small corner of his mind, Toto had thought that things wouldn’t always be like this. That someday, he would be the one leaving early on a festive occasion while one of the coworkers he had helped over the years would step up for him. Alas, it would seem that it was not meant to be. Not this year anyways.

Thus, when he was inevitably approached by seniors and juniors alike during the week leading up to the fourteenth, Toto had merely accepted his annual duty with a smile. Of course, taking on other people’s responsibilities even for a few hours was an informal exchange between employees. It would likely not be allowed by their boss if she knew.

Not that Toto had to worry about Amamiya this year because, to the delight of all the gossipmongers in the office, their boss had taken the day off. Toto would be lying if he said he had not actively listened in on other people speculating about what Amamiya might be up to while he waited in line at the water cooler. Amamiya may have been a terrifying senpai to Toto, but she was also a rather beautiful woman. It could hardly be considered a surprise that she of all people would have plans today.

Toto did briefly wonder why Amamiya had not dumped any menial tasks on him. Out of everyone in the department, she was one of the few people who had the actual right to do so, regardless of what day of the month it was. So it was a little odd that Amamiya had no orders for Toto to follow while she was away. At the end of the day, Toto doesn’t dwell on it. Though he certainly would have done any work had Amamiya assigned him any, Toto was simply grateful that more would not be added to his already full plate.

A forlorn sigh escapes his lips as Toto buries his hands deeper in his pockets. He slouches in an attempt to hide his face behind the collars of his coat, but it does little to shield him from the cold. The tips of his ears feel numb from exposure, and he wonders if it would be acceptable to wear his mufflers even though the colder months of winter had already passed by. He would have to revisit the thought later because right now all he could think about was reaching the warmth of his apartment.

As the streetlights begin to illuminate, Toto notes how the sun has fully sunken past the horizon and how the once vibrant sky is now an inky blue. If he were in the countryside with his grandmother, Toto would surely be able to witness a plethora of glittering stars at this time of the day. In contrast, the night sky appears quieter and unremarkable in the face of the rambunctious city lights, an idle thought that stings Toto just as much as the chilly air nipping at his skin.

Toto shivers, shaking his head as though he were physically dispelling any useless notions that might take root in his mind. He was simply tired from a busy day at work, that was all. A warm bath would surely wash away his exhaustion and a filling meal would surely fill his heart. There was nothing that tending to some basic needs couldn’t fix!

Just then, Toto catches sight of something— or rather someone that makes him come to an abrupt halt. He blinks, his head tilting in wonder as he watches the familiar figure in the distance. Toto likely does not realize it, but he has all but perked up, his nose— presumably blushed pink from the cold— peeking over the very collars he was hiding behind this whole time.

I’m definitely not mistaken, Toto thinks as a smile forms on his lips. It’s Ron!

Heart thumping in his chest— definitely from picking up the speed of his footsteps and not for any other reason— Toto begins weaving through the crowded boardwalk. He forgets all about the woes of his workplace as his feet strike the ground with urgency, leaving behind his wasted hopes of someday being the person who had places to be. He forgets about how the night sky makes him think of home and he most certainly forgets about the loneliness he feels that, in truth, he can’t even admit to himself. He forgets about it all as he focuses on reaching Ron, because Toto knows that the mundanity of his existence would be washed away by the light of the brilliant detective.

And then, Ron turns, revealing another familiar figure behind his silhouette. Toto freezes again, his face contorting in confusion as passersby bump into him.

Amamiya-senpai?!

Toto blinks, making sure he really is seeing his boss. Sure, the woman is dressed in a deep red dress and not the pantsuit she usually dons for work, but there was no misidentifying the recognizable short dark hair and ruby lips. It was Toto’s supervisor, Amamiya!

Was she consulting Ron on an investigation? Toto wonders, more curious than ever as he watches the pair walk ahead. If that indeed were the case, why wouldn’t Amamiya approach him first? Sure, she did have some inkling at this point that Ron is the mastermind behind their unlikely duo but still. He had never considered that his boss would collaborate with his partner without clueing him in as well.

Determined to figure out the answer to the sudden mystery in front of him, Toto follows his friends, his pace measured and cautious even though he swears he wants to catch up to them. He only has to walk half a block before witnessing the pair disappear into what looks like a restaurant, and he quickly approaches the building shortly thereafter. No sooner does he enter the establishment, Toto is greeted by a rather cheerful staff member.

“Good evening, sir. Welcome! May I ask under which name you have made your reservation?”

Toto is dumbfounded, his mouth agape as his eyes flicker past the hostess. He can just about make out Ron’s mop of dark hair as a waitstaff guides him and Amamiya to their seats far across the hall.

“Sir?”

“Oh! Uh…” Toto chuckles nervously as he meets the staff’s expectant gaze. “I don’t have one actually. I just saw my friends come in here.”

“Is that so?” Though the woman is smiling, Toto can sense a sliver of impatience. “What are their names? I can inform them of your arrival if they’re on the list.”

“Um…” Toto stalls, glancing past the hostess again.

Ron is seated now, and Toto can only assume Amamiya is sitting across from him because a privacy partition blocks Toto’s view of his boss. He watches Ron prop up his elbows on the table, his signature aloof smile on his lips as he rests his chin against his palms. He says something then, but Toto cannot make out the shape of his words from such a distance.

“Sir?” The hostess urges again, and Toto could swear he spots a security guard in his periphery who wasn’t there before. “I can inform your friends you’re here if you’d like, but only if you tell me their names. Would you like me to…?”

Toto can barely catch the end of what the person is saying, too preoccupied by the scene unfolding in front of him. A pair of hands, no doubt belonging to Amamiya, slides a gift bag across the table towards Ron. And as Ron seemingly reaches over to receive the present, all the puzzle pieces of the mystery before Toto abruptly falls into place.

In an instant, Toto becomes aware of his surroundings which he had all but ignored while his attention was solely on Ron. He suddenly notices all the pink and red décor of the restaurant and how the dining area ahead of him was largely occupied by pairs. Couples! The truth of the situation settles in his stomach like the weight of a stone.

A date. Toto gulps, his throat strangely tight. They’re on a date.

“Sir?”

Toto tears his gaze away from Ron, welcoming the distraction of the hostess this time. His mind is too far away to discern it, but the staff member had long abandoned her impatience with Toto in favor of pity. It was not her first time working a Valentine’s Day shift and she was used to witnessing heartbreaks as frequently as she was used to seeing confessions. And judging by the crestfallen look on this man’s face, he was experiencing the former.

The hostess does not have the chance to say another word as Toto abruptly turns to leave.

Notes:

though i split the story into three chapters this will be quite short lol i will update the rest real soon hehe thanks for reading :3