Chapter Text
Illi was excited for school for two reasons. One, her mom finally convinced the school to let her wear the girls' uniform. Two, she had gotten a lot closer with her best friend Frank during the summer and she couldn’t wait to see him.
As Illi was getting ready, her little brother Mikey walked into her room. “What is taking you so long?” Mikey groaned as he stood at the doorway. “Jeez— who are you trying to impress?” he asked, looking Illi up and down with a suspicious look.
“No one..” Illi replied, but she couldn't contain the small smile that formed on her face as she finished doing her eyeliner. Mikey scoffed, “Oh please. I’ve never seen you try this hard for the first day of school. “I mean, you curled your hair, straightened your clothes, and actually tried while doing your makeup. Spill.”
Illi hadn't told Mikey about her little situationship with Frank, mainly because her little brother is overprotective as hell, but also because she wasn't sure if this was actually going to work out.
“I said nothing, Mikey. Can’t a girl look good on her first day of senior year? I'm so close to getting out of this place, and trust me— I'm moving far away from here.”
Mikey sighed, “I guess you're right, but I'm watching you. Got it? Now hurry, we’re going to be late.”
Mikey and Illi went their separate ways since Mikey was a freshman and Illi was a senior. Illi was hoping that Mikey wouldn’t get picked on here. Illi felt a pair of hands on her shoulders and was immediately pulled out of her thoughts. She tensed up before turning around and seeing Frank’s face. Illi sighed out of relief and smiled at him, “Fuck— you scared me you asshole. At least warn me next time.”
Frank laughed, “You're acting as if it's the first time I've snuck up on you.”
“I noticed that you actually look decent today. Is there a special occasion?” He teased. His smirk grew wider once he saw Illi playing with her hair. It was something she would do whenever she was nervous.
Illi rolled her eyes, “Do I not look good?—” She was cut off as someone suddenly bumped into her. She would have fallen if Frank hadn't caught her. Now they were close— so close that Illi could count the pores on his face.
“Shit! I’m so sorry guys! I was running and then suddenly I couldn’t stop— Are you guys okay? You two are a little too close..” Ray apologized, he was breathless from running.
Illi pulled away from Frank. “Well maybe it’s because you ran into me.” Illi replied. “Yeah— why were you even running?” Frank asked.
“Crazy story, man. So I woke up late and my bus had already left so I quite literally had no other choice but to run.”
“Dude, school doesn’t start for another 30 minutes. You would’ve been fine if you walked.” Frank rolled his eyes.
“Yeah but I wanted to catch up with you guys! What did you two do all summer? I mean we only got to hang out once and that was cut short because someone’s mom had to drag her ass home because she didn’t ask for permission to go out.” Ray remarked as he looked at Illi
Illi huffed as she leaned against the lockers, “Yeah well I had begged her to let me go and she kept saying no so obviously I had to sneak out. Jeez— you’re so ungrateful sometimes, Ray.”
Ray rolled his eyes back at her sarcastically, “Uh huh.. Anyways, let’s move on to some more interesting topics. Illi, I see you got a new look. How are you feeling now that you get to wear the female uniform?”
Illi smiled, “Feels a bit uncomfy but it’s probably because it’s a size too small for me. Other than that I’d say I’m pretty happy with my look this year.”
Ray was about to say something else until he noticed how unusually quiet Frank was being. “Earth to Frank?? Are you with us dude?” He asked. Frank suddenly looked up at him. “Huh? What are we talking about?”
Ray laughed. “Wow, man. I’m surprised you haven’t said anything about Illi’s new uniform. You’re usually the first one to compliment her or something.” He teased. Frank looked away as his face turned a light pink. “I already told her she looks decent.” he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Decent? Cmon, Frankie. She curled her hair and you’re calling her decent? You’re not gonna call your best friend pretty?” Ray replied, messing up Illi’s hair slightly before she swatted his hand away. “It’s not a big deal, Ray.” Illi said. “It’s just hair.” She added.
“Let’s just see if we have classes together, okay? I’m hoping for at least 3.” Illi changed the subject.
The three of them had Science and English together, Frank and Illi had Art together, and Ray and Frank had some dumb Agriculture class together.
“Good thing English is our first period, we’ll annoy each other every morning.” Ray said. Frank and Illi just rolled their eyes. “Come on, let’s get there early so we can get good seats.” Illi suggested.
English was boring. Just the usual first day of school icebreakers and teacher introductions. Illi kind of spaced out until lunch. She was surprised that Mikey had lunch at the same time as her so she invited him to sit with her and the others.
Frank and Ray were already at the table. “Ah. Mikey. How are you liking high school so far?” Ray asked as he took a bite of his lunch. “It’s okay..I guess..How do you guys not get lost? This place is like the white house.” Mikey replied. Ray laughed, “You’ll get used to it.”
Illi looked over at Frank who seemed more interested in his lunch than his friends. She kicked his leg gently which caused him to look up at her. “You okay?” She mouthed to him. All she got in return was a nod. She frowned slightly but she didn't want to push any further.
Once lunch was about to end Illi stood up, “I’ll be back. Just gonna go fix my eyeliner in the restroom.” The group nodded and she walked away.
As Illi was walking into the girls' restroom, she was startled by a group of laughter behind her. She looked back and saw a group of jocks. She didn't know their names and she never bothered to ask.
“Gerard McMillin? Is that really you? Holy shit, you actually think you're a girl? We thought that was just a phase from last year!” One of them laughed
Illi tensed up, “I don’t think I’m a girl. I know I’m a girl.” She replied
Her response just caused them to laugh harder. “God, you really are a freak! You used to be just an emo freak, but now you’re emo AND a tr***y!”
Illi clenched her fists, “You can’t say that..” She mumbled. “Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it, huh? Gonna snitch on us to your faggy little friend group?” One of them asked, stepping closer to her. Illi stayed silent, unsure on how to reply. That seemed to piss him off because the next thing you know he had shoved her head against the wall. “Answer me when I’m talking to you, freak.”
He scoffed, “You’re even more pathetic as a girl. Can we even call you that? You’re hardly a girl. You think that wearing a little bit of eyeliner makes you a one?”
Illi was finding it hard to breathe. She couldn’t move or talk. It was like she was paralyzed.
She couldn’t process what the jocks were saying; their voices were being muffled by her brain. She quickly snapped back as cold water was being poured on her head. She gasped loudly, the coldness of the water making her flinch.
Illi’s eyes began to water as he saw the other boys recording her. She was trembling. All she could focus on was the fact that they were calling her a freak and other names in the book. She ran into the restroom and locked herself in one of the stalls before she began to throw up.
Illi could still hear them outside laughing at her, mocking her, telling her to stop hiding. It was the first day of school; how fucked up were they?
She rested against the toilet after finishing throwing up. She was too scared to face them, but she also knew that class was starting soon. She honestly didn’t care.
It felt like she was sitting there for hours, but in reality it was only 30 minutes until she heard Frank's concerned voice calling out to her.
“Illi? Are you in there? Come on, man! You just disappeared!” Frank said as he poked his head inside the girls restroom.
Illi sighed before replying, “First stall.”
Frank quickly walked in and slid under the stall causing Illi to chuckle softly. Frank’s eyes widened when he saw Illi’s wet and trembling state. He didn’t hesitate to grab her face, “What the fuck happened? Did you fall in the toilet or something?”
“Jocks happened.” She replied, trying not to focus on the feeling of Frank’s hands on her face
Frank frowned, “Those bastards.” He muttered under his breath. He buried his anger, reminding himself that he needed to focus on Illi’s well-being. He took off his blazer and wrapped it around Illi's shoulders before grabbing some toilet paper and beginning to wipe the water, tears, and vomit from her face.
Illi’s breath hitched. I mean, it wasn’t unusual for Frank to be worried about her but this felt..different.
“Do you wanna go to Art class or just skip? I’m fine with either one.” Frank asked. Illi thought about it for a moment. “I—..Can we just stay here? I don’t think I want people seeing me like this.” She replied. Frank nodded before scooting closer to Illi.
There was silence for a moment before Frank spoke up. “You looked pretty today. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” He mumbled. Illi smiled, resting her head on Frank’s shoulder.
Soon enough, the bell rang, signaling the end of the first day of school. They waited a few minutes before coming out of the restroom so people wouldn’t give Frank weird looks for being in there. They walked outside to meet up with Mikey, Ray was already gone since his bus had probably already left with him.
Mikey’s eyes widened as he saw Illi. “What the hell happened?!” He asked, trying not to cause a scene. Illi sighed, “I’m fine, Mikey. Just some dumbass jocks who have footballs for brains.” She muttered. Frank snorted, “Footballs for brains?”
Illi smacked him, not hard, just enough to make him shut up. “Come on, Mikey.” Illi said.
Frank grabbed Illi’s wrist before she could walk away, “Hey uhm- Sorry for acting weird today. Y’know, back to school blues..”
Illi raised a brow, letting out an amused laugh. “Back to school blues? You sound stupid….”
“Nah..” He replied, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “But in all seriousness, I’m here for you. Got it? If those dumbasses ever bother you again then tell me.” He added.
Illi nodded, “Thanks, Frankie..” she smiled. She was about to walk away before she realized she still had Frank’s blazer on her shoulders. She turned back around to hand it to him. “You might wanna wash it..” She suggested before walking away with Mikey.
Frank turned red as he realized that his blazer now smelled like Illi’s perfume..fuck..
Illi didn’t remember much from the walk back to her house. However, she does remember immediately falling asleep once she got home, not bothering to shower or change out of her clothes.
When Illi woke up, it was pitch black and her head was throbbing. She groaned as she got out of bed and headed downstairs.
She got some pills from the restroom cabinet and as she walked into the kitchen, she saw a bottle of vodka that her mother had left out. Illi hesitated for a moment before popping the pill in her mouth and washing it down with some vodka. She already felt like shit after all.
She hadn't drank in a while. She stopped because her mother had threatened to send her to rehab if she didn't get sober, and Illi had enough shit going on in her life at the moment, so she listened.
Illi sighed before heading back upstairs and falling asleep again, hoping that she felt somewhat better in the morning.