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Kaoru forced himself to take deep, even breaths as he walked along the bank of the river.
He’s going to be fine. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to be-
But no matter how much he repeated that to himself, it all kept replaying in his mind like scenes from some awful movie designed to torture him.
The rocks racing towards them, Kojiro tackling him off the edge of the track, Kojiro shielding him as they fell, the jolt of Kojiro slamming into the ledge, getting separated from Kojiro as they fell into the water, slowly resurfacing after getting his bearings-
Kaoru had struggled with panic attacks when he was younger, he’d experienced fear from bailing hard and knowing it was going to be a bad break before he even hit the ground, he’d feared being crushed by rocks just moments before, but nothing compared to the terror that set in when he realized Kojiro was nowhere to be seen.
He’d searched almost blindly in the murky water, coming up for air empty handed twice, his heart absolutely pounding out of his chest, before he finally managed to spot Kojiro and pull him to the surface-
Kaoru clenched his fists and shook his head as he continued walking, as if it could shake the memory from his mind-
“Well, this was all rather exciting, wasn’t it?”
Kaoru had almost forgotten that Adam was behind him. He ignored his comment and just kept walking.
“Giving me the cold shoulder?“ Kaoru could see the smirk on Adam’s face without even looking. “After I went out of my way to help you two? Most people would find that hurtful, you know…”
Kaoru scoffed. “You’re not most people,” he muttered.
Adam let out a short laugh. “And water is wet.”
Kaoru frowned, not appreciating the pointed comment… But he was grateful that Adam had provided Kojiro swift transportation to the hospital. And unlike Kojiro, Kaoru didn’t really hold much of a grudge against Adam for what he did during their beef. It was S, after all. Anything goes. And though Kaoru hated to admit it, it was a much needed wake up call. The old Adam was gone. Or maybe, Adam was never the person Kaoru had built him up to be in his mind... Regardless, cruel and painful as it may have been, Adam had knocked some sense into him, and allowed him to finally start moving on.
That said, he wasn’t exactly looking to be friends again either. Even if that was something Adam would want… and Kaoru certainly wasn’t in the mood for Adam’s usual flippant attitude after what he just went through.
“Let’s just get out of here…” Kaoru muttered, still leading the way downstream.
“That is the idea.” Adam responded. “You know… I am glad you two weren’t caught up in the landslide.“
Kaoru paused and turned to face him, a bit shocked-
“It would have been nearly impossible to keep the police from getting involved,” Adam added as he walked past him.
Kaoru scoffed. He should’ve known better-
“Of course,” Adam continued, “covering up Joe’s disappearance probably wouldn’t have been too unmanageable, you on the other hand-“
Kaoru’s anger flared. Before he could even think about it, he shoved Adam with every ounce of strength in his body.
Adam was obviously caught off guard. He stumbled and lost his footing, falling into the river with a splash. The water was shallow, coming up just past Adam’s waist where he sat, staring up at Kaoru in clear shock. But he quickly shook it off and smirked.
“Well, good thing you fell further upstream, huh?“
Kaoru stepped forward, scowling. “What is wrong with you!? We fell off the mountain! Kojiro almost drowned! He-!”
Kaoru paused, clenching his fists and looking down as he was forced to confront the reality of what he was about to say.
Kojiro almost died... Kaoru very nearly lost his best friend and the love of his life tonight…
He was pulled from his thoughts when Adam slowly got to his feet. “He still could.”
Kaoru blinked. “What..?”
Adam shrugged his jacket off as he walked back onto the river bank and shook it with a sharp snap to shake some of the water out. “He could still die. All kinds of complications can happen with drowning, you know,” he said, that same nonchalant and slightly playful tone still present in his voice. He looked over his shoulder with a knowing smirk. “Hope you said everything you wanted to say, just in case.”
Kaoru just stared at him with wide eyes for a moment, then he shook his head and walked away.
What was he doing? Adam wasn’t worth his time. Especially not right now. He needed to get to Kojiro.
Thankfully, they walked the rest of the way in silence.
A small wave of relief washed over Kaoru when he finally saw Shadow and the kids at the top of the relatively short and gradual slope up to the track. They threw down a rope that they had tied around a large rock and Kaoru and Adam managed to climb out without any issues.
The kids all hugged Kaoru as soon as he reached the top, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t find it a bit comforting.
Kaoru was almost afraid to ask, but miraculously, no one else had been seriously hurt. Apparently, the landslide started just behind them and remained mostly within the unoccupied stretch of track they were on. And thanks to the live video, the people who would have been at the bottom of its path had time to run.
After confirming that everyone else was alright and reassuring the kids that Kojiro should be fine, Kaoru hiked up to his car as fast as he could.
The drive to Sia la Luce was a bit of a blur, but Kaoru had gotten a call from the hospital on the way.
The woman on the phone had explained everything in detail, but Kaoru was far too exhausted to retain more than he needed to know at the moment. Kojiro was doing well. They were keeping him overnight just to be safe. And Kojiro would need a clean set of clothes in the morning.
Kaoru parked his car and used his spare key to get into the restaurant, then climbed the stairs to Kojiro’s apartment.
He went to Kojiro’s room and found that hideous striped shirt that he loved for some reason as well as a pair of shorts. He threw both into a bag and tried to ignore his thoughts, but what Adam had said continued to plague his mind.
He could still die-
Kaoru shook his head, fists clenched. Adam was only trying to mess with him...
He wasn’t wrong though. There are complications that can happen.
Remember how lifeless he looked when you found him?
You could have been too late. It would have been your fault-
Kaoru closed his eyes tightly, leaning and bracing his arms against the dresser.
Calm down. Calm down. He’s going to be fine. Calm down-
…
“Kojiro??” Kaoru panted as he somehow managed to drag the larger man’s limp form onto the shore.
Kojiro didn’t respond, his head lolled to the side as Kaoru placed him down on his back, eyes closed.
“Kojiro!?” Kaoru shouted, shaking him by his shoulders. “This isn’t funny, you stupid ape!”
When there was still no response, Kaoru leaned in and placed his ear against Kojiro’s chest.
It was faint, but Kaoru was pretty sure he could hear a heartbeat... Or was that just his own blood rushing in his ears?
Kaoru shook his head and moved so that his ear was over Kojiro’s nose and mouth.
Nothing.
Kaoru was frozen for a second, but he snapped himself out of it. He hadn’t taken first aid classes since high school. But he was pretty sure he remembered what to do.
Kaoru tilted Kojiro’s head back, pinched his nose shut, then sealed his lips over Kojiro’s before giving him two breaths, watching his chest rise and fall out of the corner of his eye.
He backed off. Nothing happened.
He tried again.
Still nothing.
Kaoru could only stare for a second, then he shook his head, fighting back tears as he fisted his hands over Kojiro’s chest.
“Goddamnit, Kojiro! Breathe!” He growled as he started doing compressions, watching small amounts of water spill from Kojiro’s mouth.
He got to what he was pretty sure was thirty before pinching Kojiro’s nose and desperately giving him two more breaths.
Kaoru let out a choked sob when, still, nothing happened, and went back to compressions.
“Don’t- do- this- Kojiro-“
Dread was starting to consume him as he continued, growing like vines in his stomach, his chest, his throat, threatening to strangle him… but he ignored it. He couldn’t stop… He wouldn’t-
CRUNCH
Kaoru froze, feeling sick-
He shook his head and continued.
No… No, it’s fine. Don’t stop. Whatever’s broken can heal. Just don’t stop-
Kaoru gave him another breath-
Kojiro’s body jerked and water spewed up into Kaoru’s mouth.
Kaoru quickly backed off and coughed a bit, an unpleasant stinging sensation in the back of his nose- but he ignored that and quickly rolled Kojiro onto his side, supporting him with trembling arms.
Kojiro convulsed, coughing up what seemed like an impossible amount of water, before sucking in an ugly, painful sounding breath. He gagged and threw up even more water before finally taking several deep, shaky breaths.
For a moment, Kaoru couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak. The dread was no longer growing, but the weight of it still sat heavy in his chest, even as relief started flooding over him-
…
Kaoru slowly loosened his grip on the dresser.
It’s alright… They said he's okay... He’s going to be alright… Just calm down so you can go to him...
Kaoru forced himself to take deep, slow breaths. As the thoughts racing through his mind gradually slowed and became less overwhelming, he realized that, while it paled in comparison to almost losing Kojiro, there was something else adding to his anxiety...
Right... I kissed him.
Kaoru closed his eyes tightly and let out a shaky sigh. He still didn't know what had come over him. He was just so relieved, and the way Kojiro had looked at him, trying to lighten the mood and make Kaoru feel better, even though he was the one who-
Kaoru shook his head. He was certain that Kojiro wasn't mad at him for it, at least... The oaf had kissed him back after all. But... Well, it was Kojiro. That didn't necessarily... mean anything.
"Hope you said everything you wanted to say, just in case..."
Kaoru scowled a bit as Adam's taunting words came back to him... But then, he made up his mind. He was going to tell Kojiro exactly how he felt. Once he got him back home. The kisses probably didn't mean anything to him. Things would probably be awkward for a while. But after tonight... Kaoru knew he couldn't hide it any longer.
He steeled himself, then stood up straight, grabbed Kojiro’s clothes, and headed to the hospital.