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1.
The first time it ever happened, was on a mission with Zack.
It wasn’t anything complicated–just taking a few monsters nearby, which Zack could’ve handled alone; he’s a 1st class SOLDIER after all, but this time he had Cloud to tag along, it was always a new opportunity to teach him some new techniques or moves.
A part of it is his job, to teach recruits how it’s done, but equally they liked to hang out, as friends.
In a way it was amusing, that out of all people Zack chose Cloud to spend most of his time with. Especially since as a first, most people here admired him and the raven could probably have anyone he’d want and yet, he chose Cloud.
Not to mention, he’s patient. Cloud might’ve told him to fuck off a couple of times in the beginning–he’s not exactly a people’s person.. After a while though, the blond grew to like his presence, sometimes even more than being alone.
He didn’t exactly have a lot of friends in Nibelheim, he spent most of his time alone, so having someone by his side now felt a bit strange. Good strange.
“Hey, that was nice man!” Grinned Zack behind him, as Cloud took the last bit of the monsters. “You’re getting better, huh?” The blond wiped the sweat off his forehead, letting the air rush into him.
“Thanks, but It wasn’t really my best.” He commented, as he slung the sword onto his back.
He could have done better, he always tells himself. It’s hard not to think so when Zack practically aces his mission effortlessly.
The raven just shrugged though, “I think it was good. But hey, there’s plenty more opportunities to show me your best, yeah? I got a couple more missions next week, you’re welcomed to come along.”
For all the skills he learned, he was thankful for Zack. That he was even kind enough to help him–Cloud told him countless of times he doesn’t have to, yet Zack insisted.
After all, maybe that’s how having a friend feels like.
He never noticed how lost in thought he was, till a figure appeared in front of his eyes, ”Cloud?” His eyes shot up, but before any words could leave his mouth, the raven brought his face closer and left a small peck on the blond’s cheek, which soon enough turned faint pink; he could blame it on the cold.
If Zack noticed, he hasn’t said anything besides giving him a pat on the shoulder as if he didn’t just kiss him. “Good job, I mean it.” He tilted his head, signaling for Cloud to follow so they could head back.
“Y-yeah,“ Was all Cloud could choke out before shaking his head and beginning to walk after Zack.
God, he noticed people here were more, openly affectionate–especially Zack–but he didn’t know that included kissing apparently.
Why on earth would Zack kiss him?
2.
Another failed mission for Cloud
It is what it is, he told himself, but couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment. Zack always told him everyone has their ups and down, but how was Cloud supposed to feel when it was mostly downs anyway?
The warmth of blood seeped through his sleeve, sticking to his skin and armor, walking carefully down the corridor. He cradled his bleeding arm with the other hand, partially to stop any more bleeding but he also didn’t want anyone to pay attention to that, so he tried his best to mask the discomfort. He could handle it.
Especially, since he wanted to avoid any conversations for now. All he wanted in the moment was to take a shower and sleep.
But apparently, those plans didn’t matter much anymore when he saw his friend.
Cloud saw Zack scanning his body till it landed on the arm, and the grin on the raven’s face immediately disappeared when a small frown replaced it.
“You’re bleeding.” He commented as if it wasn’t obvious.
“I noticed.”
“It needs to be patched up, c’mon.” Zack stated, taking a better look at the bleeding arm.
“I can handle it myself–look, I’m really tired.” Cloud answered honestly.
“It’ll be only a second, really.”
The blond could only sigh. How could he resist?
He found himself in the quarters Zack stayed in, on his bed. Wow, so SOLDIERS really did get comfier beds.
He almost got lost in his thoughts, before he winced, as Zack pressed a clean cloth to the wound on his arm, mumbling a quiet sorry. Cloud’s eyes focused on the man kneeling in front of him, he noted how gentle his touch was, the way his fingers moved deliberately as he unrolled a fresh bandage, winding it carefully around Cloud’s arm, tucking the ends so it wouldn’t loosen. Every motion was precise, practiced from years of fieldwork, the blond assumed.
“So, trainings didn’t go as planned?” He knew Zack didn’t mean any bad, but damn, he did not needed to be reminded how shitty he’s doing.
“Not really.” He half shrugged, careful to not move his arm out of the raven’s grip.
“Hey, remember–” Zack started on, before he got quickly interrupted. “–everyone has their ups and downs. I know.” Cloud sighed, and Zack let out a small laugh at that.
“Exactly! Don’t be too harsh on yourself man. And take care of those–any injuries I mean. I noticed you tend to ignore that.”
Zack was a good observer then, Cloud thought.
Cloud was about to pull away his arm from Zack since he was done with patching him up, but quickly froze, when he got caught off guard by the gentle kiss on his arm.
Zack didn’t seem to be as affected, as he simply got up, mumbling a quiet be right back and heading out of the room.
What has gotten into him?
But hey, if Cloud falls asleep in Zack’s room that night, well, that’s just a bonus right?
3.
Cloud was sitting down at a corner table in the cafeteria, mostly playing with the food instead of actually eating it. The exhaustion was hitting him like a truck recently, and the throbbing pain in his arm didn’t help–all he did was lose his appetite. The food wasn’t any good either, it was manageable and Cloud got used to the boring taste after a while, but sometime’s he’s missing his mother’s cooking.
Actually good cooking.
But at the end he couldn’t really complain, could he? He was being fed and that was enough for him.
“Not hungry either, huh?” Hearing the familiar voice, Cloud looked up, seeing no one other than Zack.
Because, well, who else would talk to Cloud from their own will?
“No, not really I guess.” He mumbled, his gaze lowering back to the basically untouched food, he only heard Zack dropping into the seat across him.
Cloud liked to wonder if Zack only hangs out with him because he feels bad no one does. He slowly starts doubting that though, as Zack generally seems to enjoy his presence even if Cloud doesn’t like to talk or do much–he’s not as enthusiastic as his friend, but he doesn’t seem to mind that at all.
“I honestly wish they had better food in here.” Zack commented with a shrug that didn’t quite reach Cloud’s eyes, he could only nod.
“Yeah, but it’s not as bad after a while.”
“True.”
Cloud decided he’ll take a bite, just to have something in his stomach. After all, he needs fuel in order to fight properly.
In any other case that type of silence would be awkward for Cloud, even slightly uncomfortable; but with Zack, it comes easy.
He doesn’t favor it enough though, because Zack breaks it. “Hey, if you ever get the chance to go to Gongaga with me, you should come over for dinner. My mom makes real goods.” Something about the way Zack spoke, makes Cloud look up at him, just to find out that he’s looking down. He’s chewing on his lips–something he does when he’s nervous, and Cloud has no idea at what point he picked that up but he did.
“Sure.” Zack looks relieved, looking back at Cloud with a soft grin, it takes so little to make the boy happy. “Really?”
“Really, I don’t see why not.” Cloud confirmed, and decided he most likely won’t eat any more, so he stood up and made his way to throw the food away, it didn’t take long for Zack to leave his seat and follow him.
“Great! I’d love to show you around, I promise It’s worth it.” Zack seemed genuinely excited, which made Cloud smile a little. That’s when he realized, he’s not any better, because seeing Zack happy apparently makes him just as happy too.
“Shoot, I’ll be late–” The raven suddenly spoke, looking at the time. Cloud just assumed he probably has training or a mission to do. “See ya later, spikey.” Spikey? That’s new.
Apparently he didn’t have much time to comment on the nickname, because he was too stunned on the fact Zack was pressing his lips against the tip of his nose. In public. Really?
He was already waving goodbye, as Cloud just stood there frozen–it didn’t help that when he turned around, he saw Kunsel, looking at him slightly confused.
“Didn’t know you guys..“ Kunsel trailed off, giving him a pretty obvious idea what he meant.
“Uhh..“ Was all Cloud could really say–or not say–because apparently he didn’t really know either.
And if Kunsel was caught off guard as much as Cloud was, did it mean Zack was only doing this to him?
God, Zack Fair was really confusing at times, but that’s what made Zack.. well, Zack.
4.
So, remember when Cloud thought Zack aced all his missions effortlessly? Yeah—he might’ve been slightly wrong..
“Cloud–I think we’re lost..” Yeah, Cloud assumed that pretty much when for the past hour they couldn’t find the way back, especially since it was supposed to be a fast mission despite the locationd being a little far away. In the snow specifically.
“I can tell.” His voice came out as shaky, his whole body was trembling. The cold was really getting to him.
“Shit, you’re freezing. I’m sorry–I didn’t think it’d be that bad..” Zack sounded genuinely sorry, and Cloud had no anger towards him, how could he ever? He would manage if he wouldn’t pass out soon.
“It’s, It’s fine..” The blond’s teeth gritted, and all he was wondering about; how in the hell Zack wasn’t freezing? He felt like a blizzara just hit him.
Although, he noticed that it was also slowly catching up to him too.
Zack kept looking around, trying to find the way back, but it was kind of hard when the wind and snow were so strong he was barely able to see through. “Fuck, fuck. Okay–Cloud, we’re gonna go this way, but we’d have to go a bit faster. Think you can manage?”
Right. Because the only thing he needs is to go faster when he can barely move as he is. “Y–yeah..“
He grabs Cloud’s arm lightly to steady him as they navigate, he noticed he usually shows care through action rather than words.
The kisses were a solid proof, he thought.
Cloud actually grew to not mind them anymore, unexpected but always welcomed if he was being honest. As much as he cared for Zack, he wishes he could show it better–because in reality, the SOLDIER is pretty much the only person that likes him for him. He never minds talking when Cloud doesn’t feel like, even if Cloud has his moments, for some reason he never leaves. What’s the reason? He wonders a lot but can’t ever catch up.
Cloud never bothered to ask about the kisses, but hey, if that’s how the raven shows his affection, he can manage.
His mind goes back to Kunsel words. If he think they have something going on, then probably so do other people. And he thinks, he doesn’t mind that fact that much.
He doesn’t feel his lips anymore, nor his hands. Nor nothing, really.
He feels his legs buckle and soon give up, so he practically falls down on his knees.
“F..fuck..” Is all he could really whisper. Soon enough, Zack’s crouching down in front of him, except his vision is getting blurry, and his hearing muffled.
“Cloud?–Cloud!“ He felt two hands cupping his cheeks, along with his friend saying something, though he can’t really make out what because all he could focus on was the dizziness he felt and also the slight ringing in his ears.
He knew he was being caught in an embrace, even though the touch felt distant, and the warm kiss pressed into the top of his head was the last thing he felt before his vision went black.
5.
Cloud’s body felt heavy and he couldn’t remember what happened. He felt stiff and strange, last thing he remembered was the cold that now was replaced with warmth. He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, not yet. There was a pressure on his forehead, it felt cold though.
“I don’t know, Kunsel, he hasn’t woken up in hours.”
“He’ll be fine, you should also get some rest instead of just sitting there. When he wakes up, you’ll know.”
The blond hears the voices, he can recognize them yet they feel distant and somewhat strange.
The room goes quiet, he hears footsteps soon fading away, and then complete silence, and Cloud can feel himself gaining full consciousness, stirring under the soft touch.
“Cloud?”
A groan slipped past his lips. His muscles protested, joints locked from hours of being still, and a dull ache pulsed through his arms and legs. He felt a blanket that was wrapped tightly around his body, maybe even two.
“Cloud? Are you awake?”
Slowly opening his eyes, they immediately focused on the other man looking at him with such a worried expression.
“..Zack?” His voice is definitely hoarse, it felt weird speaking for a few seconds and he realized his throat is dry like a sahara dessert, not that he was focusing on that much.
“Hey that’s me.” The words were so soft, Cloud wanted to smile, at the end he didn’t though, finding himself too exhausted to.
“Where am I..”
Zack tugged the blankets even tighter around his body, making sure he’s warm. “You’re at mines–uh, do you.. remember what happened, or..?” Zack furrowed his brows, and Cloud tried to regain his memory, only really recalling a few moments.
“We were.. on a mission, right?”
“Fuck–I’m really sorry Cloud. We got lost and then you just.. passed out on me and I got really scared and I had to carry you to the way back, thankfully I managed to find the way but then you weren’t waking up for a few hours and just–” He paused, a sharp inhale coming through and all Cloud can really do is listen. “–and I was worried..”
Cloud has to admit, he feels a little embarrassed, he never wanted to cause anymore trouble to Zack, he always takes him on those missions, he trusts him and all Cloud does is fail him.
“I’m, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause anymore trouble or ruin the missio–”
“Trouble? Are you kidding me? I don’t care about the mission Cloud, I was afraid that something serious could happen, on my watch, and I wouldn’t forgive myself for that, ever.”
The blond doesn’t respond anymore, he still feels a little dizzy. But also, something warm in his chest spreads out. He never felt that way before.
“Oh–right, how are you feeling? I’m pretty sure you have a temperature. I’ll make you some tea, and maybe some medicine, alright?”
“Alright.” Cloud simply nodded, a hot tea sounded nice right now.
About an hour passed, and Cloud seemed to get a bit better, except the fact he in fact did have a fever, and a sore throat too. The tea helped as he thought but only slightly. But hey, it’s better than nothing, right?
He really hated to be a bother, but Zack insisted for him to stay at his room for now. He seemed really worried.
It was already dark outside, Cloud noticed as he felt the mattress dip, Zack, who sat down, looked pretty exhausted at this point. Cloud couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.
“Zack, you’re tired.”
Zack shook his head, but didn’t manage to convince Cloud at all. “No, no, I’m just..”
“Zack. You must be exhausted. You carried me for who knows how long in that cold–please, come and rest.” He never imagined he’d be so insisting to someone, but after all, Zack helped him more than he could ever imagine, and the blond seemed to be warming up to their friendship every day.
The raven sighed in defeat. “I am but.. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He locked the gaze with Cloud’s, and suddenly this moment felt a little intimate. “I’ll get rest in a second, I promise.” Zack stood up, and when he was about to leave the room, he gave Cloud a soft kiss on the forehead before heading out.
And hey, maybe the kisses aren’t so bad after all, Cloud thinks to himself as he falls asleep.
+1
It’s been a few days since the incident, and Cloud definitely felt better. It was hard not to, when Zack visited him whenever he could, sometimes bringing him some tea, or food, any medicine he’d need. Cloud realized he actually enjoys Zack’s presence a lot, and while he some time ago would get pissed off at someone pampering him, he doesn’t mind it as much now.
He felt way better today, but decided to sleep in longer. If he had a reason and a chance to get a good rest, why not take it? At least maybe the trainings will go smoother. Which now that he thinks about it, he had to miss some. Zack reassured him it wouldn’t change that much, that they’ll catch up–but Cloud’s mind works in an annoying way, so the worry never actually leaves.
And there goes the plans on sleeping in, as he heard a soft knock. “Yeah?” He called out, not bothering to look up because he simply knew who it’ll be.
The door opens, and he’s immediately greeted with the voice he grew to enjoy hearing. “Cloud?” He sounded nervous, like way more then usual. Cloud picked up on the patters, the way he talked–or didn’t talk–it came naturally, he thought.
The blond, with a small groan, sat up, rubbing his eyes as they focused on Zack standing there. There he is again, chewing on his lip, but also fidgeting with his fingers. He feels like something’s wrong.
“Yeah, what’s up?” Cloud asked as he raised an eyebrow at him.
“So–you’ve been feeling a lot better, I think, and I thought maybe we could go out on a walk later, tonight. I have some work in a minute so I’d figure out I’ll ask you now.”
Oh, Cloud thought something happened from reading Zack’s body language, but at the end he just assumed he was nervous for whatever work he had to do, being a 1st class SOLDIER isn’t the easiest thing after all. “I guess I could use some fresh air. Sure.”
Zack simply smiled with a nod. “Alright spikey, I’ll get you after I get everything done. Deal?”
“Deal.”
The evening comes quicker than Cloud expected, but he managed to get out of the bed and actually get ready. All he could do now was wait for his friend.
As if summoned, he heard a knock before the door opened, and Zack greeted him with a soft smile, though, he could feel the nervousness practically radiating from him. He wondered what made him like that today, if it actually was the work or something else was up. Either way, he decided not to question it that much.
“You ready?”
“Yeah.”
The fresh air feels nice against his skin, just like he thought. Though, Zack is awfully quiet tonight. Usually, he talks about everything and anything really, but today.. “Hey, so, I know a spot. It’s pretty close so I thought I could show you it.”
Cloud nodded, because well, why not. If they’re out, they might as well go. “Lead the way.”
They reached a rooftop, surely they had to do some climbing but it wasn’t anything too difficult, actually, the spot was kind of nice now that Cloud looked around.
“Pretty, huh?” Zack said proudly, and Cloud had to admit, the stars did look beautiful when they weren’t hidden by the city smog, he rarely saw them anymore.
“Yeah.. yeah it is.”
Cloud watched as Zack sat at the edge of the rooftop, so not even a second later he joined him. “You can actually see them.”
Zack laughed softly, “Yeah. Not a lot, but enough.” Cloud mentally agreed, and soon both of them focused on watching the sky, a comfortable silence falling between them. It was nice, the blond had to admit, he doesn’t even remember the last time he just, hung out with someone like that.
“You ever wonder what’s out there?” Zack asked, suddenly.
“Not really. Doesn’t matter–can’t get there anyway.” He shrugged, “Still.. guess it’s nice to think about it sometimes.” He caught a small smile from Zack at the corner of his eye.
“I do, a lot.” He spoke honestly, turning his head to Cloud, and Cloud did the same. “Like, if everything down here sucks, maybe there’s something better above.”
“Guess that’s one way to look at it.” He leaned back slightly, resting his hands behind him for support. “You think It’s better up there?”
“Maybe. But hey, we can’t really complain either, can we?”
Cloud scoffed, “Speak for yourself, plenty to complain about down here.” Cloud’s tone was mostly sarcastic. Truthfully, while he could complain about the food’s quality, or the fact he can’t ever get his trainings fully right, it’s enough for him.
Zack nudged his shoulder, “As long as you’re with me, not really.” And Cloud could only scoff.
“That supposed to mean something?” The blond’s eyes made their way into the stars again, the sky really looked brighter, or maybe he never actually got to look at it.
“Uh,” Zack seemed to move his gaze away from Cloud as well. “Whatever you want it to mean.”
Cloud’s brows furrowed, he wasn’t too sure where Zack was getting at.
“Hey.. uh.” Zack’s tone made Cloud stiffen a bit, he didn’t look at him yet. “This is… kind of stupid, but–I, uh. I’ve been thinking.” He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting toward the sky and back to Cloud, and then the sky once again. ”You and me… We spend a lot of time together. And I… really like it. Like, a lot. Ever since we met I just..”
“Go on..” Cloud nervously shifted his gaze to Zack, who was fixated on the rooftop.
Zack chuckled nervously, holding up his hands. “Not saying you owe me anything! Just–like, it’s there. I like you. More than I should. And, uh–stars are romantic, right? Figured, if I was gonna say it, might as well be under them.”
Cloud found himself speechless, his mouth slightly opened to say something and yet no words were coming out at all. His eyes widened, because hell, he did not expect that.
“You–you do? Like, more than..” He asked carefully.
“Yeah and–” He noticed how Zack’s eyes glossed up, and he didn’t know what to do, so he stayed quiet and gave him space to talk. “–and I don’t expect anything from you, just figured out I’d tell you that.”
“Zack..”
“Because how could I not? I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, y’know? i’ve been carrying it around, waiting for the right time, and there never is a right time, so I figured, screw it, maybe if the would stars be out, and you were here–”
“Zack.”
“–and I was hoping you would take the hint when I started giving you kisses, but you never said anything about them so I didn’t even know what to do–”
“Zack.”
“–you can tell me to shut up, tell me to forget it, and I will. But even if you don’t feel the same, it doesn’t change anything for me, you’re still–“
Cloud thought he had enough, because the next thing he does is press his lips against Zack’s, partially because he wanted him to shut up, but also, well, because he feels the same.
“I love you. I love you too.” Zack’s lips are parted, and he looks stunned by the kiss, and Cloud is too, that he even gathered up the confidence to do that.
“Cloud I–” Zack whispered, but can’t stop himself from pulling the beloved blond into another kiss, which they both just entirely melt into.
And suddenly, everything made sense.