Chapter Text
Franky looked again for the fifth time at the summary made by Twilight, tried to make sure his friend (he recently accepted they're already in 'bickering heterosexual partners' phase) didn't lose his goddamn mind. He knew three years of having a fake family consisted of a very energetic kid and harebrained woman, no matter how pretty they were, would take its mental toll to anyone, but this definitely got out of hand.
I've heard women could be the end of men, but this is ridiculous!
"So by your logic," Franky started while ignoring urge to slap his friend with a yesterday's newspaper, "Your wife, who had a hard time to find a boyfriend by herself in spite of her incredible beauty, is now committing a sin known as Adultery, all because of those slight coincidences. Really, that's what you get from all those signs?" Franky sighed. He knew Twilight as the incredible, unbiased agent would be a goner as soon as he stopped smoking for Anya, nearly struck Housemaster Swan for insulting his forged family, wrote Yor's first decent cooking and Anya's progress in sport as part of his mission report, and memorized all those penguins name to get the biggest penguin plush for his adopted daughter. Not to mention he already saw Twilight dressing up in 'totally radical' vacation outfits in poor attempt to look like a totally cool daddy. Twice. All supposedly for keeping up appearances. Totally. But this was absurd, a farce even.
"It's the only logical conclusion," Twilight argued against his dealer (who's the closest thing to an old friend). His logic was impenetrable, for he had piecing every clues for the unmistakable glimpse of truth in one night...
Loid Forger currently admonished his daughter Anya for literally planted her cheeks on the television and yelling directives at the secret agent in distress, telling her that there was no way to tell Bondman her directives, let alone teleport into that cartoon to save the totally inferior spy (the darned new magical witch show...), and she could ruin her eyes. Good set of vision and a good grip of reality, after all, were very vital to become scholar at her school and get Stella Stars, a main goal for the mission of becoming close to Desmond family.
Everything was for the mission. And Twilight would make sure everything fit to that purpose.
"Anya, if you can't behave and sit at least one meter away from TV, then I won't take you to that Bondman's live event you want to see so much," an offer of incentive for a cause could do good for the growth of kids as well-intentioned and energetic as Anya.
Twilight really outdone himself in imitating a good father figure, he's sure of pulling it for the greater cause: his mission.
"SHOCK! Anya totally forgot! Okay Papa, Anya will sit still and not moving any minimeter again!" the girl then moved back to her sofa, where she soon hugged the formerly abandoned Agent Penguin when Bondman got into a new trouble, yelling her support at the TV program's hero. Their fluffy dog, Bond joined her, barking at the TV as she yelled "Use your gadget, Bondman!"
Twilight definitely had the rights to smile at the objectively adorable sight that Anya currently exuded.
After all, his missions were to ensure there would be no more traumatized children in the first place.
Yup, he really outdid himself. It called for a celebration drink-
"I'm home!"
"MAMA!"
And there it was, the other member of Forger's forged family, Yor Briar-Forger. Agent Twilight noticed multiple things from her return from shopping trip.
As a spy, he noticed that Yor brought mostly the exact same amount of items in the shopping list he created last night, except for one bottle of wine. The label was too fresh for its production date, most likely a promotional item from his fellow hidden agent posing as store clerk, very likely it would contains an encrypted message for his next mission. Good thing he already had a glass of water in hand when noticing his daughter was on process to lose her still intact 20/20 vision.
For his part in pretending as her fine, lovely husband (which reminded him, it had been a while since they went on a date to get that wine she unfortunately forget the name to this day. They definitely needed to eat there again), he took a note in her appearance when his wife started to put everything in grocery list.
It was a good training in posing as a good family man.
Luscious black hair, long enough to be elegant, but not much to become a hindrance? Check.
Melting ruby eyes with tenderness rivaling of sweet, high grade honey? Check.
Enough meat in her body curves, showed how she's a healthy adult? Check.
Delicate face with nearly perfect, smooth skin? No make-up needed to cover one or two imperfection, so absolute check.
Her subtle odors of shampoo, and pleasant, strong feminine perfume-
Wait a minute.
Strong perfume?
Twilight ran through several things again (and definitely did not distracted at the ample area below her neck for too long), his mind were running faster than the quickest car in the world, as expected from such expert espionage agent.
Her perfume is too strong for someone who just took two hours of shopping trip, and her lip gloss were just freshly reapplied. When did she had the time to apply it, and why she was 30 minutes late? Unless...
After his machinations of mind were finished, and his calculations made it clear what truly happened to Yor Briar, the finest agent of Westalis took his conclusion like any well-adjusted, mature adult.
By smashed the glass of water in his hand to the desk into pieces.
"PAPA!"
"GOODNESS!" Yor approached her fake husband quickly to see what happened, and after Anya hugged his lower leg, she quickly searching for a clean cloth to wipe the blood in his hand. Loid just blankly stared at her in his shock, and definitely did not stared at the open area on her favorite semi-backless sweater as she was looking in a cabinet. Definitely nothing that could constitute as interest except an importance to the mission.
After all, his wife's fitness level could be important to the mission.
Although her lacks of control sometimes could pose a hindrance.
Definitely about her grace for a possible dinner with Desmond family and none about imaginative spot of broken neck from totally accidental face sitting in the future, something that popped in his mind once for absolutely no logical reason.
"Loid, is there something upsetting you on work? A frustrating patient?" asked Yor as she wiped the desk while carefully avoiding any shattered pieces of glass, while Anya hugging her Papa's injured hand. Thankfully Anya didn't step on the shards herself.
"...There was a fly on the desk."
"Oh, I just noticed," indeed, there was one twitching fly at the center of impact.
A good luck for a good cover story.
Sometimes a spy need coincidence to help them in keeping their masquerade intact, and that fly provided him exactly that.
But there was something more important, something that could jeopardize the whole mission.
The affair of one Yor Briar-Forger. Which he had to stop once and for all.
For the good of his mission, what with backup plan Neo Strix looked more and more impossible (and unpleasant since the start for some reasons) to pull at this point.
Also, his little orphan/faux daughter was currently looked at him with the smuggest smile an otherwise innocent kid could ever make.
Must be thinking about blackmailing his carelessness for another Loidman/Bondman event. The little, soft-haired pink gremlin...He'd give everything she asked without a blackmail.
After all, good morale's important for any mission.
"Look, even if your wife-"
"Fake wife," Twilight interjected with fine reminder. Strangely, Franky was being unappreciative and just rolled his eyes. Even stranger, himself felt a pang in his chest from the reminder.
Must be the nicotine withdrawal. There just wasn't any time to smoke around with Anya's school trip still weeks away and his real and fake jobs being even busier than usual.
"Fake wife, is truly cheating on you, I still won't help you stalking her."
It seemed Franky didn't know what's on the stake here (and even dared to accuse him of being a stalker), so Loid decided to make his case clearer than crystal.
"Her dalliances could spell disaster, Franky. We already have neighbors speaking ill of us just when I arrived home late from mission too often, and her own coworkers have suspected of her cheating on me before. Even our old neighbor, Sigmund and Barbara, thought it's kinda curious we are not too close for newly wed.
An actual illicit liaison, would put this mission into jeopardy. SSS may caught up to her infidelity via our neighbors, Yuri Briar wouldn't accept reality that his beloved sister's a cheating woman, and then he'd either tried to do a one man attack in Yor's prison to save her, gave himself a death sentence in the process, or trying to assassinate me after his insane machinations of his mind somehow deduced it was me who's to blame for her downfall."
Franky blinked. Either Twilight's actions are actually justified, or he picked too much from those gossiping neighbors. "Okay, I can see why you feel you need to clear out this misunderstanding."
"And the only way to fix this, is by finding who this man is, and then end his existence."
And there it was. Any image of cold, logical super spy that Twilight cultivated in his stellar career, ruined forever with just one sentence. "What in the actual fu-"
"The biggest suspect, would be Dennis Swan, Ostania's biggest wine maker. I have noticed this man appeared in two of Yor's public events around her working place, and possibly looked at her funny. And considering his brother, who happened to be Headmaster Swan, plus his own possible links to bribes, there would be few tears shed, and far more rejoices."
"Uh, Twilight-"
"The next one is Felix Schumacher, producer of premium kitchen sets. Yor had been gushing over his kitchen products many times. A bit too flustered to my liking."
"Twilight, I don't think murder is a solution for your-"
"And the third one, is Oliver Neuer, Westalis's current best fencer. Yor was mesmerized by his skills in latest sport broadcast, and he already have reputation as sleazy celebrity and playboy-"
"OKAY Twilight, I'll help! Just...don't kill anyone, please. Not until we found the guilty man. And please, only murder the man if he's guilty of incredible crimes."
"Adultery is a big sin, Franky." Twilight did everything he could to not growled at his short acquaintance with distinctive afro. How dare his fellow insinuated that adultery wasn't a big crime!
And of course, if people found Yor's an adulterer, Ostania's government would put highlights on his forged life, and soon they'd find the whole thing was a facade, and then...
For some reasons, he didn't have enough brain power to continue his train of thoughts. That nicotine withdrawal must be bigger than he expected.
Franky sighed again, and reluctantly agreeing, "Fine, adultery is a big sin that could destroy your mission. Just...kill him only if he's a serial killer or something. Destroy his relationship with Yor, write a fake letter to Yor about regretting their secret relationship or something. But...don't end his life until we know your suspects are total scumbag, fine?"
Knowing he won the argument, the blonde agent, Twilight agreeing to Franky, "Very well. I'm counting on you, Franky." Twilight said, satisfied with his friend finally agreeing with him.
"Just one question. In case she truly fell in love with this mysterious man, and he happened to be a decent man instead of a scumbag that you thought of, wouldn't this mean by killing him you will break her heart?"
That was a good question. If everything were false from the start, wouldn't this mean Yor deserved to carve her real happiness? With a decent man of her own choice? Shouldn't he felt happy that she finally grew as a person, to make her own decision?
The answer was : Mission. All for the mission.
That, and this man dared to meddling with someone married. That kind of guy wouldn't be a suave, handsome gentleman (in his very unbiased mind likely blonde with striking blue eyes) who offer his pure love to a wonderful woman. But the lowest scum who only saw her as sexy, curvaceous new toy with pretty face he'd discard as soon as she developed a wrinkle or two around her cheek.
Not to mention, the mission requires them to be perceived as a real, loving family. And one with cheating spouse, cannot be a happy one.
So yes, he had to die. Painfully, in the most gruesome way. Best if all of his limbs were split apart harder than victims of quartering.
Twilight decided to ignore the macabre voice calling for gory and over the top deaths to his nemesis (that somehow sounded more like Yuri Briar than his own monologue, to his own horror) and end his problem in more pragmatic way: a simple body disposal to the sea.
Although it'd be preferable if the degenerate's dead body was eaten by hungry sharks. During a tropical cyclone.
For even more destruction for clues over his death that could jeopardize the mission, of course.
"If she needs any consolation," Loid avowed in as much sincerity as possible. "I will give her every comforts she needs. Whatever necessary for the security of this mission."
"Yeah, yeah, for the mission. All the future 'comforting', kissing, and snuggling with one of the hottest woman in this city are definitely for the mission. And she oh so needs so many of that after her possible secret lover died."
"Franky," Loid-Twilight slammed his fist to the stand. "I ask you nicely to not call her 'hot' anymore. She deserves to be called better than that simplistic word."
"Okay. One of the most beautiful woman in the city. Happy?" Franky corrected, trying his best to not snort derisively in front of the enraged blonde spy.
Satisfied, Twilight left the stand to let Franky do his own part in the investigation. He ignored the muffled sound that likely to be Franky's mumbling, suspiciously sounds like 'what did I do in past life...' and 'insincere prick...'.
Must be frustration from the realization of having new workload in gathering information for three different elites that would jeopardize the mission.
Maybe he deserved a bonus after they disposed the culprit. After all, researching for three great businessmen of Ostania would not be an easy task.
Now off to make his case to the Handler to aid his mission.
To uncover Yor's liaison.