Work Text:
Come Join Us...For Staff Community Day!
“Community Day?” Harry Styles was peeking at her girlfriend’s email over her shoulder. “Isn’t that a little ironic?”
Louis rolled her eyes. “It’s more about a photo op than anything else.”
Her girlfriend—Harry still wasn’t used to saying that no matter how many months it had been—was an analyst at the Boston office of the FBI. Which was really in Chelsea. But who was counting?
“Also, Harriet, you shouldn’t be reading my very classified email over my shoulder.”
Harry sat back on the arm of the couch. “I know, but I can’t help it. I feel like I have a window into the enemy’s lair.”
Louis, again, rolled her eyes. They were going to get stuck like that if she didn’t quit it. “Am I the enemy?”
Harry sighed, “No. I guess not. But you don’t count.”
“Because I’m a nerdy analyst instead of an agent or a suit?”
“Exactly.”
They had had this conversation more than a few times. Harry couldn’t help it. She never set out to have an FBI analyst girlfriend. It just…happened. By accident. On Tinder. Curse her libido and sexy girlfriend.
They met when Harry needed someone to help her run interference at her company Christmas party. Since then Louis had attended plenty of other events with her, she had been a hit with Harry’s friends but not so much with the men she had to scare off. Harry, for probably obvious reasons, hadn’t attended any of Louis’ work events. Come to think of it, she hadn’t even met anyone one on one. When Louis went out with her friends from work it was usually after hours so she would just leave from the office, and then come back to Harry’s place or go to her own.
She barely slept at her own place in South Boston anymore, some eight or nine months into their relationship, she always came up to Harry’s.
“What does Community Day entail?”
“It would be interesting if it was done right, we pack backpacks with school supplies for Back-to-School. Then there’s usually a big barbeque outside.” Louis was still clicking around in her emails that Harry wasn’t allowed to read.
“So…do families come to this thing?” A plan was beginning to form in Harry’s head.
“Sure, yeah, the guys bring their kids. Like I said, it’s more for the cushy photo op than it is about the actual charity.”
“So…plus ones are encouraged?”
Harry could see the exact moment that Louis clued into what she was asking.
Louis turned to her very calmly. “No.”
“No, they aren’t encouraged?”
“No, you’re not coming.”
Harry found that she was actually a little hurt that Louis didn’t want to introduce her to her coworkers. “Why not?”
“Be serious, Harry.” The look Louis was giving her was pretty patronizing, which put Harry’s hackles up even more.
“I am being serious! I like kids, I like things like packing backpacks. I love and support you, and I want to see where you work!”
“Two minutes ago you called it ‘the enemy’s lair’.”
She had her there. “Okay, but I can put on a brave face. And I’m not, you know, a troll or anything. I’ll behave! I promise.”
Louis leaned her head against the back of the couch and grimaced like she was in actual, physical pain.
“Do you not want me to meet your coworkers?”
Louis opened her mouth to speak a few different times. “No?” She sounded hesitant and Harry had to fight her own natural reaction to the rejection. “Look, Harry, baby, do remember how it was at your holiday party? And staff trivia? And that one baby shower?”
“You’ve come to all those events,” Harry didn’t know what Louis was trying to say.
“Yes, and I’ve had to act like a guard dog at all of them trying to fend off your potential suitors.”
Harry snorted. “Potential suitors?”
Exasperated Louis put her laptop down on the ottoman in front of them and turned to face Harry more fully on the couch. “I don’t know what else to call it when that’s what they are. There are some women, in this life, that are boy catnip. That have enough boys lined up down the block they can have an appetizer, entree, and dessert of boys, then wrap them up in little napkins and put them in their purses. And the boys are all happy about it.”
Now, Harry was confused. “What are you talking about?”
“See, you don’t see it because you’re the problem.”
“Problem?”
Louis leaned forward and popped a kiss on her mouth. “Yes, you’re boy catnip. Or maybe a siren? What’s that one from Harry Potter where they mesmerize the boys?”
“Veelas?”
“That’s it! Yeah, you’re a veela. I mean, that’s what you hired me for in the first place.”
Harry hated that joke. “I didn’t hire you.”
“Doesn’t matter. What does matter, is that your boy-catnip status is fine when it’s just a bunch of horny doctors and accountants. I can fight them off just by looking at them crosseyed. My coworkers carry guns.”
“Oh my God, Louis, you won’t ever have to fight someone like that.”
Louis just raised her eyebrows to express her skepticism.
Niall chose then to walk in the front door.
“Hiya, Lou.”
“Niall, back me up here please,” Louis launched into him without so much of a return greeting. “Harry wants to come to the FBI Staff Community Day.”
Niall visibly recoiled. “What? Why would you want to do that?”
Harry threw her hands up. “For the children, Niall! And to see where Louis works and support her.”
Niall and Louis shared a look, and Louis looked visibly stressed. Niall was cackling. “You’re going to give Louis gray hair.”
“It won’t be that bad.”
“Yes it will.” They both answered her at the same time.
Niall turned away to head down the hallway to his bedroom, and Harry took her moment. She pushed Louis’ shoulder back and climbed over her until she was straddling her lap. Digging her fingers in Louis’ luscious long hair knocking it askew while her ponytail desperately tried to stay together, Harry lowered her lips until they were just barely brushing Louis’.
When she finally lifted up to breathe after quite some time, Louis' eyes fluttered open slowly.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Harry nodded. “I want to see where you work. And support you. And the children,” she whispered while she brushed Louis’ hair off her face gently with the featherlight touch she would use to help her fall asleep sometimes.
Louis sighed again. “Alright, but there will be rules.”
“Mmm, sexy.”
“No. Not sexy. Everything about this day will be the opposite of sexy.”
Harry nodded obediently before saluting. “Yes, sir!”
Three Weeks Later
Harry shut the passenger side door of Louis’ very sensible and practical sedan as she took in the imposing facade of the Boston FBI office that was really in Chelsea.
“Is it wrong that this makes me want to bend over the seal so you can fuck me?” It wasn’t Harry’s fault anything so über-establishment made her twitchy and the seal was carved into an onyx block that was a hundred percent at waist height. Especially for Harry, she had long legs.
Louis stopped in her path and bent over bracing herself on her knees and doing some deep breathing exercises. Her signature low ponytail was draped over one shoulder. Harry wanted to pull it the way she did when Louis was leaning over her and they were—
Okay. Maybe she was the problem. She could handle this, she could get a hold of herself. For the children!
Harry patted Louis on the back where she was still bent over. “I’ll stop, I promise. It’s just… I don’t know, it sort of makes me want to defy The Man.”
Louis shook her head. “Who knew the FBI building would make you horny? I was not prepared for this.” She straightened up, putting her hands on her hips, and looked off to the side while she started murmuring like she was counting. “We need a new rule. I don’t remember how many we’re on by now, eight?”
“Sure.” Harry definitely did not remember all the rules she was supposed to memorize.
“Rule Eight: you have to warn me before you say anything like that again.”
“In my defense I didn’t realize what was coming out of my mouth until it happened.”
Louis sighed, and let her head drop down in resignation. “Okay, if I can just get through this, we can have naked apartment time and cookies.”
Harry nodded. “Niall is gone for the rest of the weekend.”
Louis took her hand securely. Very securely. “Alright, let’s go.”
“I really think you’re worrying for nothing.”
“We’ll see.”
In hindsight, Harry probably should have trusted her girlfriend’s judgement a little more.
Rule number one had been that Harry was supposed to wear a long sleeve t-shirt and jeans with the provided Community Day t-shirt. She had been a little warm, but definitely felt protected.
She had been stared at. A lot.
On the bright side, she met Louis’ friends, especially her friend Zayn. He was an agent that was blindingly hot and quiet and broody, but once Harry got him talking he was secretly goofy. He also loved teasing Louis, and had no eye for Harry—she wasn’t his type—therefore, he was Harry’s favorite person she met all day.
She could see him now making faces at Louis across the circle of people standing around them. They were all men, unfortunately, and all hanging on Harry’s every word. She was uncomfortable.
There were other wives and girlfriends there, and they seemed so lovely when she met them earlier. She longed to be able to talk to them more, but they were outside The Circle being boxed out by the people hanging around talking to her.
Two of the men in their conversation started talking about something with acronyms she didn’t understand, so she turned to Louis. “I’m a little hungry, can we get something to eat?”
Louis tugged on her hand. “Yes, thank God. Let’s go.”
The problem continued for the rest of the afternoon. When Harry and Louis got in line for food, Louis made sure Harry went down the table first so anyone behind her in line couldn’t bother her, but she didn’t account for the man in front of her who introduced himself as Bill from Accounting. Harry made small talk with him as they made their way down the line, but Louis whisked her away when they were done and bobbed and weaved through the crowd so he couldn’t follow them.
They were breaking away from the crowd and semi-alone so Louis took a deep breath and visibly relaxed.
“It’s okay, Louis, I really don’t mind the small talk. I wanted to meet your coworkers, that was the point.”
They pulled up to a table in the sunshine as far away from the rest of the party as Louis could manage.
“Babe, I’ve literally never met half the people that have come up to you today.”
“Oh.” Obviously, Louis had teased her about having to fight men off before, and Harry had asked her to her own work party for this very same reason, but Harry always sort of thought her own workplace was an anomaly because she was there. And she knew and was coworker-friendly with most of the men that had been an issue. This was different, this was strangers.
“It’s alright you’re just too hot. I’ve resigned myself to a life of defending my territory.”
“Too hot? I’m not too hot! There are plenty of beautiful women here!” Harry gestured over towards the other wives and girlfriends. “I’m not any more or less beautiful than any of them.”
Right as Harry said that, she caught one of their eyes and they shared a wave.
Louis chewed a bit of salad thoughtfully. “You’re right, I misspoke. You’re not too hot. You’re too enticing.”
“Enticing?”
“You draw people in. We had this conversation the night we met. Boy catnip. Et cetera, et cetera. At a certain point, babe, you’re going to have to embrace it.”
She went back to her salad, and Harry couldn’t deny she was pouting a little bit. She was just a friendly person, how was she supposed to change that? Or was she just supposed to be friendly with reckless abandon and let Louis suffer and/or defend her territory.
Movement caught her eye, and she looked up to see a bunch of the women coming towards them.
“Do you mind if we join you?” One of the wives gestured with her plate to the seats at the table. “We thought we would blockade you and let Louis relax a little.”
Louis slumped in her seat with relief. “Bless you.”
The other women laughed, and Harry felt a giggle rise up.
Once she had relaxed a little, she remembered what Louis had said. Lowering her voice so as to give them a little privacy, she turned to her girlfriend. “Resigned yourself to a life of defending your territory? Life, huh?”
Louis froze with her fork halfway to her mouth and blushed. “I mean, yeah. I know we’re going slow.”
“Slow? We haven’t even been together for a year?”
“Eight months is like four years in lesbian time.”
The champagne bubbles in Harry’s gut started fizzling out of control. “I guess you’re right.”
She waited another minute.
“Hey, Louis?”
“Yeah?”
“Rule Eight.”
Louis stood up abruptly. “Well, ladies, thank you all very much for your service. We’re going to head out.”
The women all looked at Harry and saw her slightly shocked look, and started whooping and cheering, making their exit less than inconspicuous.
Harry was giggling the whole way back to the car.
---
Later that night she was gasping for breath. “Do you feel better? Getting that out of your system?”
Her ears were ringing and she somehow couldn’t feel her limbs, but could feel every weave of the couch under her bare back against her skin.
Louis sat back on her knees looking smug. “Yes, but if you can still quip, I might not be done.”
Harry flinched her legs closed. “No! No more.” Her whole body was covered in bruises from Louis’ mouth. “I’m going to have to wear turtlenecks for a week.”
Still pleased with herself, Louis shrugged again. “Naked time and cookies. That was the agreement.”
“I burned the cookies because you wouldn’t let me get up.”
“I’ll live.”