Chapter Text
Three bodies had been found in a dumpster between Newtown and Crime Alley. All female, around twenty years old, dark hair. Signs of SA from the same perpetrator, according to the police report. No relation to recent Arkham breakout, said Batman Report.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
All of the victims had been attending Gotham University on the law course. All third year. All had recently failed in one class, even though one of the girls had had nearly perfect scores in other classes.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
The perpetrator was a professor of that one class, Martin Woods, fifty-three, divorced. Reported by his ex-wife as abusive. There had been complaints about him made by his students privately, alumni raised official ones to the dean's office about blackmail and improper propositions in exchange for passing classes. Some had agreed, too afraid of repeating a year.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Martin Woods was a brother of the dean.
After being connected to the murders, he had run away, hiding in one of his lovers' houses. Even if he's found guilty, the chance of a long sentence was low with his number of high-profile acquaintances.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
A sister of one of the victims would prefer him dead.
TAP. TAP. TAP.
Tim raised his head over the laptop to look at the kid lying on the floor between the coffee table Tim was working on and the love seat the boy was sitting on the last time Tim’d checked. The kid was reaching as far as possible with all his limbs, hands playing with the fringe of the blanket on the love seat, feet tapping rhythmically on the table's leg.
"Can I help you, Jay?" Tim asked, trying to color his tone of voice with only the right amount of annoyance. Not too much to scare the kid. Not too little to show Jason that this behavior was acceptable. Just the right amount.
Well, his natural voice – well, natural after spending so much time in the League - was quite emotionless, so he shouldn't be surprised when Jason answered him unimpressed.
"I'm bored."
"Oh, dam- I mean... Oh, no! What can we do about it? If only there were three different consoles you could play on," Tim joked, dramatically rolling his eyes for the effect. Instead of giggling, like Jay often did when Tim got sarcastic, the kid frowned at him.
"I don't want to play games anymore. They're...," Jason stopped himself from continuing, searching for different words. He finally decided on with a flushed face: "They're stupid."
Tim could easily guess what the kid was about to say, based on the struggle and frustration the games raised in his little body. Tim’d offered numerous times to get him easier games or at least one with the option to pick difficulty - the older games being stubbornly challenging even for adults - but Jason insisted on playing on PlayStation 2. Apparently, it reminded him of times when he’d used to play games with his dad on old consoles.
Tim hadn’t commented on anything about Jay's dad, realizing early on how sensitive the topic was.
(Tim couldn't comment on this, since his memories of parents were mostly really bad or nonexistent at best. How to relate to someone whose relationship with parents was of a more complicated manner, he did not know.)
"Don't you want to watch cartoons?"
"Cartoons are for babies." Jason's frown got replaced by a smirk, his eyes observing Tim's reaction.
Tim gave him nothing, long used to being teased for liking anime.
"You liked the one about a train. What was it called...?"
"Infinity Train. I finished it. Nothing else is good."
"What about books?" Tim already started in his head a list of kid activities. Most of them were group ones, and Tim would feel weird taking Jason to a playground, not even starting on Jay's lectures about how playgrounds were for kids. Tim had seen how Jay stared jealously at kids playing there, but Tim couldn't really make Jay have fun if he didn’t want to. There were also action figures of Spoiler and Wonder Woman that Tim bought him (for some reason, morally ambiguous assassins didn’t get much merchandise), but Jason liked to pretend he had no interest in them, even if they were clearly in different places and positions every time Tim came back home.
Jason really tried to look cool in front of the older boy.
"I've already read them."
That took Tim aback.
"Sorry?"
"I've read them," Jason repeated, raising his eyebrow, in a child-like manner, unsure if there was something wrong with what he said.
“Like… one of them or…”
“All of them! Are you making fun of me?” Jason scowled unhappily.
Tim tried to calculate in his head how many books he’d brought last time he’d gone to the library two weeks ago. Well, it’d been only four books, and he knew Jason loved reading, but they were thick ones, like the ones that had given Tim a headache even in middle school. But to be fair, Tim had never been the biggest fan of reading fiction, not when he could follow whatever cases Batman and Shadow were on or try to impress Stephanie with his sick moves on a skateboard. Or, well, finally becoming Batboy and cracking cases and hanging out with Batgirl. Not much time for reading when you don’t care about literature in the first place.
But yeah, if it’d been a problem for Tim to read one book as a teenager, Jay had to be like a freaking genius or something to read so fast, right? Right?
“Hey, are you dead?” Jason waved his small hand, not even close to Tim’s pensive face, not bothering to raise up from his lying position. “Did you at least leave me the house in your will?”
Tim shot Jason a look. “What? No. Do you even know what that means?”
Jason shrugged.
“Dunno, but my mom used to say that to dad.”
Ok, let’s not go there.
“Have you always read this much?” Tim asked with interest.
Jason shrugged, faking nonchalance, but his freckled face got redder like always when someone took interest in him, and this time he fixed himself to a sitting position, ready as always to talk about his one true love - books. Or, one of two true loves, anything edible coming close behind.
“I… My mom and I… We used to read together a lot. When I was a baby.” His voice was kind of wobbly, not unusual when the topic of Catherine Todd was coming up. His hands were getting clasped and unclasped every few seconds, his body showing his abashment to the outside world. Jason didn’t seem to be conscious of it. “We… were lying together in our bed and my mom read to me, and sometimes asked me to read some words or sentences. And when I learnt to read fast enough, we stopped reading the same book. My mom read her books, I read mine. But like… Still… Still together, you know.”
Jason looked miserable, like he was locked in a memory, regretting he was here, and not back there. He wasn’t exactly crying yet, but his eyes were glistering and his breath was hitched.
He missed his mom, and Tim could do nothing to ease this feeling.
It was still better than before. At least Jason said something about Catherine. About their time spent together, before she’d succumbed to drugs. For the last few weeks, the kid hadn’t mentioned anything about his parents, except for short notes like: “I’ve seen this movie with my mom” or “I had a toy like this. Got it from dad”. But it was only this. All Tim knew was from official documents and not so legal hacking into group homes’ caretakers’ phones.
Any kind of snooping around the kid didn’t give him more information about Jason’s parents. Sometimes Jay mentioned something vague about the general situation, sometimes he only shrugged as the reply, glancing at Tim unsurely, like he just remembered he wasn’t supposed to say anything. Why, Tim wasn’t sure. Based on the dirt he got on the group homes the kid was in, there were plenty of reasons for it. Still, nothing he could actually confirm with Jay.
This time, it was more than just some vague information. Finally, Jason was not shutting down his feelings inside, only allowing himself to feel them when he was alone in the bedroom, supposedly far from Tim’s ears. It was far from being comfortable with actually showing Tim his more vulnerable side, something he hadn’t done since it was officially decided Jason was staying with him, but it still was progress.
But based on how Jason kept glancing at Tim, emotions on his face resembling the hesitance shown any time Tim was inquiring about the kid’s (earlier) childhood, he might be losing this progress, if the man doesn’t answer soon.
“Do you want to read like this with me?” Tim asked without thinking. It was this or more questions about Catherine, which Tim had a feeling was still too soon for Jason.
Kid instead of answering squinched up for a moment… before a second later turned his head the other way, hiding it in his shoulder.
Fuck. Wrong answer.
Damn, Tim, you were a detective. One of the best ones. Even if he’s more or less taking a break from detectivenessy side of the night job and focusing more on cleaning the streets, he was still a good damn detective. He could figure it out.
It couldn’t be about him not asking more about Catherine. Jason never took well to prodding into his past, and Tim doubted he was starting now. Even if he was okay with sharing anything, it still wasn’t something that could make Jason upset.
Could it be that Tim should be more emotional about it? Focus on the kid’s feelings, ask him about it? Tim had been awkward and not great at social interactions even before his death; it’d only gotten worse after the green bath. It was difficult for the man to understand some of the social cues that were expected of him. Even less when it came to kids, them being more irrational. Still, Jason, even if sometimes absurd with his emotions, just yesterday throwing a tantrum about Tim dog-earing one of his own books - it was just a book, come on! - was less keen about sharing those emotions or reasons behind them. Prodding was most likely to cause a fit than anything else.
It had to be something about the question Tim asked. Was it because…
Oh. Right.
“What about something different? Maybe you would like to read something out loud while I’m working? It might be distracting if I’m writing reports, but anytime I’m planning… umm… the operations and studying maps, it’s good to have some background noise. I usually listen to the news, but I did try audiobooks, and it was nice. We could select a special book just for that and later talk about it.”
Tim remembered when he had been still living in the Manor, during some of the evenings on school days before Batman’s patrols - his memory was funny like that, because he could swear, just a few seconds ago, he barely remembered anything from daily life in the Manor - he had sat down with Bruce in the library. The library was never his favorite place. If he could, he would spend all day long in the Cave. But every so often, after Bruce had made him do his homework and Tim had been showered and dressed in his pajamas, Bruce would invite him to the library. It’d usually been during calm periods, when Bruce could spare some time not working on the cases. Then they’d played chess - the Manor had a few custom-made chess boards in various rooms. They barely talked during the match, but Bruce had sometimes glanced at Tim and smiled after the boy’d done a particularly good move. Tim had always gone completely red in response, his ears hot, but it’d been a good kind of hot.
After winning with Tim - but Tim hadn’t minded – Bruce had told him about old times, when his father had taught him how to play. How Alfred had used it to coerce Bruce to interact with people again, after Wayne’s tragedy, instead of crying in his room. How he’d taught Damian how to play, but it’d been ages since they’d been on good enough terms to do it. Tim had told him about learning it by himself and how Stephanie once nearly choked on the queen when she’d tried to cheat.
It’d been a special time for him and Bruce only.
Those interactions, those not even hours of spending time together had made Tim… They… Tim had waited for the next ones. He’d felt… Like a part of a family. Like part of something he hadn’t been part of in a long time.
Obviously, it’d been all fake, and it all crumbled when it came to choosing between Tim and Damian.
After all, Tim wasn’t Wayne. He never had been Bruce’s son, even if he wanted to, even if he… Even if Tim…
“Tim,” Jason whispered.
Tim turned his eyes back to the kid, not realizing when he stopped looking at him. “Jace?” What he was…
“Your eyes looked funny for a moment,” Jason said, voice still quiet. He was no longer lying on the floor, now sitting down on it, close enough to have a good look at Tim’s face, far enough to not be surprised by any of Tim’s sudden movements. Cautious.
Eyes… Funny… He meant…
Fuck.
“Fuck,” he repeated out loud, not able to contain himself. Jason shot him a surprised look, already used to Tim not swearing. At least not near the kid. “Sorry. They’re sometimes… They are like this sometimes.” It was difficult to explain the Lazarus Pit without actually explaining it. Hearing about it should be at least PG-12, and the kid had enough nightmares of his own. “It’s just… Well, it’s nothing to worry about.”
Except for murderous rage. Fuck. But it wasn’t something he had to be concerned about for a while now. Right now, it’s more of an amplifier on his own anger, something he could handle, than the bloodlust he felt at the beginning, still in League.
“Are you… Are you sick?” Jason asked, eyes still glistening, full of concern.
Shit. Right. Ill-stricken mother. He probably heard enough of It’s nothing to worry about in his short life.
“It’s not a sickness,” Tim hurriedly explained. “It’s more like… a condition. Like when you get red from embarrassment. It’s usually not something you even notice, it’s just… Sometimes… Sometimes when I’m an… under strong emotions, my eyes are like this. It’s nothing to worry about, really,” he reassured, guilt blooming in his chest.
Tim should explain to Jason that the kid should get away from him as fast as possible whenever his eyes change color, not lie about it being unconcerning. That he should call Stephanie and stay with her. But… those big doe-like eyes were like always getting to him, and he didn’t want to worry Jason even more. They were slowly building a weak trust between them, and Jason, being constantly on the watch for Lazarus-green in Tim’s eyes, would really not help with it.
And from what he read about Willis Todd, anything that would insinuate that Tim could get angry for any reason would only raise more distrust towards any adult man in Jason.
So this was the best he could do. Right?
“So… Your eyes can change color?” Jason asked, unsure. Since it was the first time the kid had seen it, it was a confirmation that Lazarus’ hold on Tim was getting weaker, and there was nothing to worry about. Probably.
Tim nodded in response.
“That’s so cool!” Obviously, an eight-year-old would think it’s cool. Duh, Tim would have thought so even as a teenager - his own D&D character back then, Shadow Monk with a long black cape who hadn’t been based on anyone in particular, had glowing eyes and heterochromy.
Tim reached Jason to ruffle the kid’s hair, making the kid move a bit further away.
“Well, I am cool, obviously,” Tim confirmed - his momentary rage towards Bruce disappearing as fast as it came.
Jason wrinkled his nose ostentatiously and rolled his eyes. This kid was hilarious.
“No, you’re still a nerd. Your eyes are sometimes cool. That’s it,” decided Jason, visibly ready to die on this hill.
Tim snorted. He kinda wanted to tease the kid, poke his ribs or something, like he used to do with Stephanie during patrols, but he knew Jason wasn’t there yet. Verbal teasing - sure. But any kind of touch was still out of the question with the kid, even if, a few times, he was emotionally vulnerable, he was the first to initiate a hug. But he still had yet to accept even a simple touch from Tim, or anyone. Any time someone else would come into reaching range, Jay was ready to bolt. Tim could get close enough for a touch, but never actually touch him.
For now, the only thing Tim could do was bear with it and wait till the kid comes around by himself.
“So, what do you think about my idea?” Tim asked, before he completely forgot about the previous topic.
“Idea?” repeated Jason, furrowing his eyebrows. “Oh, idea! Right!” His face was so expressive, Tim nearly saw a lightbulb switch on over his head.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to!” Tim assured him. "It's just... Well... An idea. I just thought it would be nice to spend time together. Like..." He didn't want to use Jason's own example, and he wanted to use the chess one even less.
But then... If he could just recall anything similar with anyone else from his previous life. Thinking about Alfred was two steps away from thinking about the Manor, and Damian would probably kill himself before deciding to hang out with Tim (Well, that was an idea, shame that Tim would rather fight Superman than be in close proximity to Damian). Tim's parents... Well, he had seen them sometimes, and they’d probably considered those times as quality time with their son. With Stephanie, they’d mainly joked around, not doing anything in particular, and with Kon... Well, they had spent time together, alright. Really closely together.
So yeah. No other examples.
"...Like Anne and Diana, and the rest of the girls, when they were writing stories together!" Saved. Tim decided to completely ignore that Jason was waiting like fifteen seconds for him to finish the sentence, enough time that the wrinkles between the kid’s eyebrows managed to come back.
Bless Jason and his talking Tim's ear off about every single book he read. Tim had opted for watching movie adaptations of compulsory lectures and quickly forgetting about them after the last quiz.
Jay looked at Tim, quite unsure. "Do you actually want to...? I mean... It will probably be boring for you. I can mostly read stuff for children... And you've probably already read all the books I want to read."
Oh, kid, you have no idea how wrong you are.
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to! We can look for a book together to make sure none of us has read it already. If... If that's fine with you."
Jason looked at Tim a moment too long, making him nervous and reminding him more of awaiting Batman's approval than of anything post Tim's death.
What if... What if Jason thought he needed to do what Tim wanted, otherwise he would go back on his word about Jay's staying with him? And he'd just agree to keep Tim happy? Pressuring the kid into something he didn't want to do was certainly not the thing Tim wanted. He just meant to make the kid happy, and maybe spend the time together, like he... like he had with...
But if Jason only agrees because he feels he has to, then...
"Ok," Jason answered shortly, nodding to himself like he was content with something, just as Tim opened his mouth to assure one more time that it's only if Jason wants it.
Ok, maybe Tim was just spiraling.
"Oh, then... then okay," Tim agreed shyly. If anyone told him two months ago that he would do something shyly, he'd laugh. But here he was with the kid. "Do you want to go get books later?"
"Like from a library? Yeah."
Tim thought more along the lines of buying them, but if a library was more familiar for Jason, then a library it is.
"I have to finish this first," Tim tapped at his long-abandoned laptop with the report still open. "I know you said there are no more good cartoons, but have you heard of... Avatar?" He asked conspicuously, his eyebrows raising, just like he had years ago, asking Stephanie a similar question - which partially backfired, when, while he had still been crushing on Steph, the only thing she could talk about for weeks had been Zuko.
Jay hesitated. "The blue aliens?"
"Oh boy. You'll love it. You are so gonna watch this now," Tim decided, already TV controller in hand. The kid was up for a meal.
And Tim tried not to smile too visibly when Jay, while watching, instead of lying on the floor, curled up next to him on the sofa.