Chapter Text
Kendra waited in the cemetery. Buffy and Faith were meant to meet her here half an hour ago, and she was getting restless. Kill something. She ignored the urge. She was in control. But it would be easier to maintain that control if she could kill something.
On the wind, a noise reached her. Combat, and a voice, “...never?” Not far away.
She was moving before she had finished thinking. She would not miss this opportunity to kill. And, of course, someone might be in trouble.
But surprise was still a key tactical element, so instead of running straight towards the sound, she swung around in an arc, approaching behind cover and coming up through some bushes. Peering through, she evaluated the scene.
It was Buffy and Faith, each in combat with a vampire wearing some sort of uniform. They didn’t seem to be in trouble, since they were carrying on some sort of argument.
“How many times do I have to say it?” Buffy demanded, while ducking a swing. “I have never,” she backhanded the vampire she was fighting, “done it,” and now she span towards it with a stake in her hand, “with Xander.” She thrust the stake home, and the vampire’s body crumbled to dust.
Kendra bit her lip. Clearly, she should reveal herself, and not eavesdrop like this. But Angel had creeped up on her conversation the other night, and besides, a significant conversation was happening, which she might learn important things from observing. After all, whether Buffy Summers was having sex with some or all of her friends was one of the big questions she had often pondered back in Jamaica.
“He's just a friend.”
Faith leapt, span, and staked the other vampire. Then she continued their conversation without a pause.
“So? What are friends for?” Faith smiled seductively at Buffy, and Kendra bit her lip harder. “I mean, I'm sorry, it's just, all this sweating-nightly, side-by-side action, and you never put in for a little after-hours *ugh*?”
Faith was fascinating to Kendra. On the one hand, her approach to life was so different from Kendra’s that she seemed at times like a strange and unpredictable alien. But on the other hand, what she was saying made sense. Boys everywhere, and your watcher and your parents seem to let you do whatever you want with them. Why wouldn’t you?
“Thanks for the poetry. And, no. I love Xander. I just don't... love Xander.” Buffy looked at the ground. This was the most puzzling part: Buffy seemed at once completely free and incredibly tightly bound, in ways that Kendra could not decipher.
“Besides, I think it—”
“What about Kendra?” Kendra and Buffy both straightened in surprise at this question.
“N-no! Why would you even ask that?”
Faith shrugged. “I dunno. Everyone seems so excited to have her back, I’m trying to figure out what the deal is.” Was everyone excited to have her back? She had spent a lot of time wondering about this question in the last week, so she appreciated hearing Faith’s impression.
Buffy shook her head. “Kendra’s watcher didn’t even let her talk to boys, she was supposed to be all-duty all the time, like a vampire-slaying robot.” It felt strange to hear herself described this way, though it was hardly inaccurate. At least, that had been her life before she had met Buffy…
“And besides, I mean, she was only ever here for a few days at a time, and I guess I wasn’t watching her every move but… no, I’m pretty sure Xander and Kendra never hooked up.”
Faith gave Buffy a long look. “That’s not what I meant, B.”
“Oh, sorry,” Buffy was crouching down, looking at footprints in the muddy ground. “What did you mean?”
Faith chewed her lip, glancing around nervously. Kendra fought the urge to duck behind cover, trusting that stillness would hide her better than sudden movement.
“I meant, did you and Kendra ever…” Buffy looked up sharply at that. “I mean, was there ever something there?”
“Faith, I like boys!”
“Hey so do I, boys are fun and everything, but there’s no law that says you gotta pick just one flavor. You can play for both teams.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t.” She looked back down at the ground. Kendra took solace in the fact that neither of them had brought up her condition. She still cringed remembering how she had shown her demonic visage that night at the Bronze, and was relieved that it had apparently not made them fear or hate her the way she had worried it might.
“I’m just asking ‘cause, you know, you seemed super stoked to see her, like you guys had a real connection or something…”
“Of course we had a connection! We’re both Slayers. That’s a connection nobody else understands,” Faith’s face was tense, as though waiting desperately for the next word, “well, except us, obviously.” Kendra was not a keen observer of human emotions but even she could see the relief that flooded Faith’s features.
Buffy continued, still looking at the footprints. “Look, besides, sure Kendra’s cool, and gorgeous, obviously,” Faith’s face tightened a bit at the word ‘obviously’, “you know, with her skin, and that hair, and how good she always smells…”
“But?”
“Yeah I mean that too, it’s hard to ignore — wait,” she glanced up at Faith nervously. “You meant…”
“I meant, you sound like you’re building to something. She’s cool and gorgeous and everything but…”
Kendra couldn’t tell at this distance if Buffy was blushing or not. She imagined she would be feeling the blood rush to her own cheeks if she still had a functioning circulatory system. She tensed her thighs, pressing them together around her chastity belt. It was just a habitual gesture right now: nothing was happening down there. Her cold dead body could only simulate those kinds of life processes for a short time after feeding, when borrowed life was still fresh in her veins. And it had been many hours since her master had fed her.
“Well I was just going to say, I dunno... I feel like you’d have to teach her how to kiss, you know?”
“Oh, so…" Faith raised her eyebrows, "you prefer a more experienced lover?”
“Not necessarily!” Buffy stood up. “It’s just that… slaying is such hard work, I feel like, it’s nice to be able to sit back and be pursued, let someone else take charge and do all the work for once.”
Kendra was feeling a lot of things right now. She wasn’t sure she could identify or name them, but she knew that she was committing every word of this conversation to memory. Faith was looking at Buffy so intently that it seemed like she was doing the same.
“Anyway, this is all beside the point. There’s another vampire.” She pointed at a row of footprints that led off into the cemetery, heading to Kendra’s right.
Faith fell in behind her as they followed the footsteps silently. Kendra began to move too, a little faster; if there was a third vampire perhaps she could cut off its escape. And she did think she could sense something up ahead, in the bushes, something watching and waiting. Then Faith’s voice broke in again
“It’s just that you seemed so happy when she turned up, I figured maybe the two of you…” Buffy waved a hand to shush her. The prints they were following led behind a gravestone, and as she came around Kendra could see that a vampire was crouched nearby. But she still felt like there was something else in the bushes behind it…
“Okay.” Buffy whispered, “On three. One…” Then Faith leapt ahead, over the grave, and was immediately embroiled in combat with the vampire. Terrible form.
“Three.” The vampire had thrown Faith and Buffy was entering combat. The time for hiding was over; Kendra ran to the battle, as silently as she could, while the vampire drew twin swords and disarmed Buffy of her stake. He had the momentum, and seemed to be pushing her back, but Faith was rushing at him from behind. Kendra tried to build up speed, but by the time she was in range to strike, Faith had just staked him; her hand passed through a shower of dust.
Buffy stared at the two of them in surprise. “Kendra?”
“I was expecting to meet you. When you were late, I came looking.”
“Well it’s good to have you along for the ride K.” Faith clapped her on the back. “Who were those guys, anyways?”
Buffy shook her head. “I don't know. They didn't seem local.” Kendra looked around, peering at the bushes. Was there still another presence there? Someone else who had been watching the slayers?
“Look, why don't we grab the weapons. Maybe Giles can figure out something about them.” Buffy crouched to pick up the two swords, one long, one short.
Faith let her get the swords, seeming more interested in Kendra. “You know K, we were just talking about you.” Buffy shot Faith a look that Kendra pretended not to notice.
“And what were you saying about me?”
“Well, Buffy made it sound like your watcher had you living that nun-life: no boys, no parties, no sex, no fun.”
She nodded slowly, “My life was very focused.”
“Sounds like a drag. But at least you got to cut loose as a vampire, right? Say what you want about vampires, at least they have fun!”
Kendra frowned, trying to find a way to respond to that. “As a vampire… I am a constant danger to those I am meant to protect. Rigid control is more important than ever.”
“Right, yeah, the whole soul-escape-clause thing, I forgot about that. Can’t have too much fun or the whole thing comes apart. No sex for you I guess.” Kendra hesitated. How much should she tell them? She needed them to know she was safe. After showing her face that night, she couldn't afford to scare them… so she ducked the question, and let Faith keep her assumptions.
“It is more than that. My master directs me, monitors me, evaluates me.” She squeezed her thighs together again. “They hold an amulet that contains the residue of the crystal orb used to restore my soul. If my soul is ever lost or imperilled, it will tell them, and lead them to me, and allow them to overpower me and restore me again.”
They were giving her strange looks now, but she kept going, a part of her thrilled to finally have someone to tell about it. “With this amulet they hold absolute power over me in the palm of their hand. And so I am made safe.” Buffy looked a little concerned, but thoughtful. She must have thought about this, with Angel? Contingency plans, failsafes? Kendra wondered if she should ask, or if that would be another false step socially.
“Huh.” Faith just looked disappointed, maybe even pitying. “But before all that, though? You must have at least had some fun when you were just one of the bad guys?”
Kendra stared at her. How to begin to correct such a profound error? “Faith, what do you know of the vampire named Drusilla?”
Faith glanced at Buffy and shrugged. “Strong, crazy, hypnosis, had a thing for Angel?”
“Before I met my master, I was… slices. Strips of a mind, cut up for her amusement. I was less than nothing.” She paused, unsure what more to say. “I was not having fun.”
“Damn,” Faith looked sympathetic, but uncomprehending. “Well I hope you start soon.” Kendra didn’t know what to say to that, so she said nothing.
They walked on in silence after that, lost in their thoughts. No more vampires, not in this cemetery or the next. Just crosses, and angel statues, and religious inscriptions. Kendra found herself remembering the day that Drusilla had decided to ‘make her religious again.’ It was dangerous to remember: it could still reactivate the commands and illusions imposed on her back then, despite all the work she had done to overcome them. But sometimes she wanted to remember...
She paused, leaning on a gravestone. Faith and Buffy were talking about calling it for the night, heading home. She agreed, let them move on while she sat for a bit.
So many of the graves had crosses atop them, it made the whole cemetery feel a little like a church. They didn’t hurt or repel her, not unless she touched them or a living person actively presented them, but she was acutely aware of their presence, like cold candles radiating the promise of pain.
She could still see Drusilla perfectly, dressed in white, sitting like a judge in front of her...
***
The pain brought her out of it; not a memory of pain, but real physical pain, burning her tongue. Pain was always the best way, the quickest route back to reality. She had come to treasure pain. She realised that she was still in the graveyard, kneeling before a gravestone, worshipping the cross atop it with her mouth, even while it burned her.
She stood and looked around hurriedly. She was alone. And she was herself: she didn’t belong to Drusilla and she gave no credence to Drusilla’s claims about damnation. But she was, all the same, affected. The muscles of her stomach and thighs were tight and tensed, painful from contracting around the edges of her chastity belt. And her soul ached too, wanting to be taken out of herself, made to feel again. She rose to go home as fast as she could. She needed her master.