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Celine didn't make a mistake. She made many mistakes, one right after the other, for decades. For most of that time, she thought she knew what the mistake was. She thought keeping Rumi alive was a mistake she was making day after day.
Now, she knows she was wrong.
Her knuckles turn white around the steering wheel as she speeds through the empty city. Everyone in Seoul seems to be at the concert. Everyone other than Celine. She couldn't bring herself to go, and she wasn't sure Rumi even wanted her there. They don't talk much anymore.
She knows why. She would have to be an idiot not to. Celine is on the board of Sunlight Entertainment, and she did everything in her power to get Huntr/x on stage, but now? Now they're self-sufficient. They talk in album meetings and through scheduling emails. Rumi doesn't call. Celine doesn't either.
Slamming her hand into the car display, she desperately tries to call Bobby again. No one is answering her calls. It's not something she's used to. Celine is someone who always gets to talk, always gets answered. Her carefully crafted businesswoman persona strikes fear into everyone. It fails her now, just like she failed Rumi so many times.
The call rings endlessly over the speakers, and she swings an arm to punch the passenger seat headrest. She can't get a grip on herself. She's angry, terrified, exhausted, hysterical. Hot tears stream down her face.
She just wants to know if Rumi is alive. For the first time in Celine's life, there is no Honmoon flowing over the city. Demons crawl over the city like roaches, and she can almost feel them against her skin. It's suffocating, nauseating, distracting. She just needs to know that Rumi is okay.
The Honmoon has been her entire life. Protecting it has been her sole purpose since she was 15 years old. Every decision she has ever made has been in service to keeping it together, turning it Golden. Every decision…except keeping Rumi alive.
She's never been able to break a promise to Mi-Yeong. Before Rumi, the promises were easier to keep. "Promise you'll let me borrow your pink sweater tomorrow!" or "Promise me you won't eat the last Ppushu Ppushu while I'm in the shower!" It wasn't "Promise me you'll raise my half-demon child!"
Until it was.
Celine did her best, or what she thought was her best. She loved Rumi as much as she could. Even when she wished Mi-Yeong lived, even when she came back from a hunt to find a sick child, even when she was training a hunter who could turn around and kill her. Celine tried.
She does love Rumi.
As another hopeless call to Bobby starts, she wipes tears from her cheeks. She loves Rumi. She always has. Every choice she has ever made has been to give Rumi a good life. She made sure she could fight, made sure she had a team, made sure she debuted, made sure she could be a normal girl. Isn't that enough? Shouldn't that be enough?
She spent 15 years being the only hunter, the only one keeping the Honmoon safe while Rumi grew up. She changed diapers, killed demons, released singles, did math homework. She loved Rumi with everything she had, even while she hated her for her mother's death. Rumi was a baby. She's still Celine's baby.
The Huntr/x tower looms ahead of her, bright against the darkness that signals the Honmoon's absence. Celine can't reach the Honmoon anymore, can't pull weapons from the threads, but she can see it and feel it. She can see and feel that it's gone.
Another unanswered call.
Celine is exhausted. She's been exhausted since she became a hunter and an idol. Years of being lonely, caring for a child, performing solo concerts, running a business, training hunters, mourning the other two thirds of her soul, has drained her. She is empty, but she will force herself to stay afloat until she knows Rumi is alive.
She uses her badge to get into the Huntr/x tower's parking garage, pulling into the closest spot. Halfway out the door before the car is done settling, she grabs her sickle from the passenger seat. It won't do anything against demons, but it makes her feel better to have a weapon in her hand.
She'd been tending the graves, she thinks as she hurries into the elevator and hits the penthouse button. She should have been at the Idol Awards. Why did she stop going? Why did she let Rumi distance herself? Why didn't she stay by her daughter's side?
The long elevator ride up gives her plenty of time to berate herself. She wanted Rumi to feel like an adult, one with independence instead of an overbearing mother figure. She can't even remember when she stopped visiting the tower. She can't remember when the girls stopped calling her for advice.
What happened while she wasn't looking?
When the Honmoon started falling apart, Celine didn't do anything. Why didn't she do anything? She didn't call the girls. She didn't check on them. She just… let it happen. It happened so fast.
How had Huntr/x gone from releasing Golden - a sure sign of how close they were to sealing the Honmoon - to destroying it? How had Rumi become a… How had her patterns gotten so bad?
When the elevator reaches the penthouse, she's not surprised to see it empty. She still checks each girl's bedroom, checks the closet, checks the kitchen. When it's all empty and silent, she goes to the window to look out over the city. Maybe, if she tries hard enough, she can see them from here.
As if the Honmoon heard her wish, the sky lights up. Daylight blinds her as midnight becomes high noon. A second later, the Honmoon shoots through her, knocking her off her feet. She hits the ground with a loud thump and her sickle falls beside her, just as useless as she has been.
This Honmoon is different, Celine realizes at the same time she realizes she's crying. It's not built off of the fan's admiration. It's built off the Hunter's connection, off their love. It's warm, soft, and safe.
It's sealed.
She gasps, stumbling to her feet to press her hands against the glass. The Honmoon ripples across Seoul again. This time, it's brighter than before, and it's not the same soft blue. It's iridescent and shining. It isn't golden, but it's something better.
Rumi must be alive.
Celine sinks to her knees, forehead pressed against the window. Rumi is alive. She found Mira and Zoey again. They found their way back to each other.
She sobs against the glass as her arms wrap around her stomach. She misses her girls, her Sunlight Sisters. She misses Rumi. She misses being a part of something more.
The light outside the windows begins to fade as the Honmoon settles. It settles into Celine's bones, reminding her that she used to be part of it. She used to be able to hear it sing to her. Now, she can only feel it around her edges, when her heart pounds, when she thinks about how much she loves Rumi.
Eventually, the girls will return home. She needs to be ready. For what? She isn't entirely sure. She needs to see Rumi, confirm that she's alright. She needs to apologize, explain, beg for forgiveness. She needs to know that Rumi isn't going to hurt herself, that she doesn't want to die anymore. She needs to talk to Mira and Zoey.
Celine does the only thing she can think to do. She makes food. The girls performed at the Idol Awards, something so devastating happened that Rumi's patterns threatened to claim her, and then they sealed a brand new Honmoon. They'll probably be hungry.
It takes her a while to figure out their kitchen, but eventually, she finds all the ingredients for kimchi-jjigae. Stew is always good, right? Spotting some vegetables, she thinks she can throw together some gimbap. Rumi always asked for it as a kid.
She tries not to worry as she starts some rice. It's impossible not to, but she tries. She focuses on starting broth - chopping daikon, adding anchovies, green onion, dried kelp. Her eyes keep sliding to the window as she makes gochugaru paste - chili powder, soy sauce, fish sauce, garlic. She glances at the elevator as she scoops kimchi from a jar and chops it.
Celine was never a good cook before Rumi. Her mentor forced the girls to learn, citing feminine values and the need to care for themselves. It was just another part of training. She could make a meal, but it wasn't anything special.
When she got Rumi, Celine tried her best to become better. She never wanted to be a mother, never wanted to care for someone other than herself and her hunters, but she wasn't going to raise Rumi on mediocre food. She has some pride after all. Not to mention the fact that Rumi ate more than any child should. Maybe it was her de- She was an active child.
She drained the anchovy stock, cooked the pork belly, added the paste and the kimchi to a wok. When the girls started their training, they stayed with her at her farm. When she had to go to the city for work, she would leave them enough food to last twice as long as her trip. It was always gone by the time she got back.
Three teenage girls, training to be idols and demon hunters? They could have eaten her out of house and home if she wasn't as rich as she was. They all took to food differently, though.
Zoey made easy food and ate quickly, scarfing down her meals so she could go back to writing. Rumi liked soups and stews and finger food. She liked eating until she was sick and then sleeping away the stomachache. Mira like methodical food, recipes where the preparation took longer than the actual cooking. Celine remembers early mornings spent silently chopping the vegetables for the week until the other two woke up and dragged Mira away.
Celine's hands shake as she sets the kimchi-jjigae to simmer. She starts chopping cucumbers and carrots and green onions for gimbap, trying to channel those peaceful mornings. The Honmoon rattles her bones and makes her teeth hurt.
The girls will show up soon, she tells herself as she cuts spam and fries it. They will show up. Rumi will be okay. Her patterns will be…
Celine doesn't know.
For once, Celine doesn't know what to expect. Surely Rumi's patterns are visible now, splashes across her skin like scars. Surely the other girls have seen them, but… The new Honmoon makes the night shimmer, and she knows that the girls have accepted Rumi's patterns. Maybe not the lying, the hiding, but this is one thing Celine never thought she would be wrong about. She's glad she is.
The rice is done. Then, the stew is done. Finally, the gimbap. She sets the table in front of three chairs, puts out the food, cups of water, extra napkins.
Like it was meant to be, the elevator dings as soon as the last set of chopsticks is put into place. Her whole body trembles as she presses her hands into the hard, smooth surface of the marble counter top. Is Rumi there? What will she look like? What will she be like?
Mira appears first, looking as exhausted as Celine expects. She trudges into the living room and turns to the couch before her nose twitches. Her head snaps to the kitchen, eyes landing on Celine and the food. She frowns, shifts, her fingers twitching. Celine wonders what Rumi has told her and how much she's figured out.
Zoey is next. She almost skips to Mira's side. Somehow, despite the chaos of the night, she seems invigorated. Celine can read the tension in her shoulders, though, and the way her eyes droop. She, too, spots Celine and frowns.
Finally, slowly, like every inch of her body hurts, Rumi appears. Celine's knees almost give out. She's alive. Rumi is alive. Her patterns haven't disappeared, but they're not glowing anymore. It doesn't matter anyway. She is alive.
"Rumi!" Celine hurries around the kitchen island, hip catching on the edge as she runs to her daughter. "You're alive! You're-"
Rumi flinches away when Celine reaches her, and the older woman's voice catches. She stutters to a stop, hands still outstretched toward her girl. It takes all of her remaining strength not to close the distance and force Rumi into a hug. Celine wants to look over every inch of her and see that she's alright.
Instead, she swallows and nods and takes a step back. "I'm glad you're alright."
"They know," Rumi says as if it's a surprise. "They… They accept me."
"I'm glad. I'm…" She nods again. "I'm glad."
Zoey and Mira look between them, trying to read the tension in the room. Celine knows that she'll have to talk to them. Apologize to them like she's going to apologize to Rumi. She takes a hesitant step closer.
"Can I…"
Rumi crumbles, and Celine catches her before she even knows she's moved. They sink to the floor, both of them crying now. Fingernails - not claws - dig into her back, but Celine ignores them, ignores the pain. All of her focus is on the feeling of her girl in her arms, alive and mostly human.
"I'm sorry," Celine gasps, pulling Rumi into her lap. "I'm so sorry. I should have been stronger. I should have - I thought I was doing my best, but- I'm so sorry."
"Why couldn't you love me?" Rumi sobs again. "I just wanted you to love me."
Her heart breaks again. It breaks for the hundredth time that night. It breaks like it has every day since Rumi was left with her more than 20 years ago. She holds her girl tighter, presses her forehead to Rumi's temple.
"I do," she says with all the intensity she can muster. "I love you so much. I always have. I promise. I just- I was so scared and I wish I could go back and change it, but I can't. I promised your mother that I'd care for you, and I- I tried."
"They didn't go away. I still- I still have patterns!"
"That's okay! It's okay, Rumi! They- Mira and Zoey still love you." She turns to the other two girls with wide, frantic eyes. "You still love her? Right?"
They nod, rushing to Celine and Rumi's huddled bodies, and hug them tightly. The Honmoon thrums through all of them. It still feels like ice water on Celine's teeth, like the snap of a rubber band, like a sharp pain that fades to something grounding. She brushes her hand over Rumi's hair, lips pressed to her forehead.
"I was wrong," Celine whispers, throat tight with emotion. "I was scared. Of you, but for you, too. I was so worried that they would hurt you. I trained them to kill demons, and I thought if they saw - If they thought that you were a-"
She can't finish that sentence. She can't call Rumi that yet, and she may never be able to, but she loves her girl. She does love Rumi.
Mira's hand finds Celine's shoulder. "We sealed it. The Honmoon. Not golden, but… sealed."
"It's different," Zoey adds quietly. "Stronger. We think."
Nodding, Celine looks between them and sees the worry in their eyes. They want her to be proud of them. After all the fame and the fighting and the growth, they're still her girls, too.
"You did the right thing," she tells them softly, smiling when some of the tension drains from them. "I'm sorry to you, too. I don't know what happened between you all, but… I'm so proud of you."
The four of them sit together for a moment, Rumi's soft sobs muffled by the group hug. Eventually, she starts to quiet, and Mira and Zoey pull away. Gently, Celine pushes fallen strands of hair from Rumi's face, tucking it behind her ear, and kisses her temple.
"I made you all food," she tells them, looking at the other girls. "Please. Eat."
Hesitating, Zoey and Mira look down at Rumi, afraid to leave her even now. Thankfully, Rumi nods against Celine's chest and starts to move. Celine helps her stand, taking her weight as she stumbles.
As they slowly make their way to the kitchen, Celine really looks at Rumi's patterns for the first time. They're not purple anymore. Instead, they shimmer softly, white and iridescent. They match the Honmoon, she realizes, foot catching on nothing.
It feels like evidence of something, like more proof that she was wrong about everything. Maybe when they sealed the Honmoon, Rumi's demon parts left and the Honmoon filled the void. Maybe the color meant something none of them would ever know.
"This smells amazing!" Zoey cheers, climbing onto a seat at the counter. "Thanks, Celine!"
She nods tightly. For a moment, she feels like they're back at the training grounds, like she's made dinner for three hungry teenagers who've just come back from a hunt. They may be older now, but the situation doesn't seem to have changed.
Mira helps her get Rumi settled in a tall seat, then serves the both of them. She doesn't speak to Celine. Instead, she's entirely focused on Rumi, putting food on her plate and watching her with concern.
Moving around the counter, Celine leans against the other side, watching them all. Zoey's buns hang low, shaken down from dancing and fighting. Her shoulders slump with exhaustion, but she still manages a happy hum and smile for her mentor when she tries the food. Mira's hair has entirely fallen from its usual style. She pulls a hair tie from somewhere and twists it up into a messy bun before it can fall into her food. Her eyes close as she takes her first bite, some of the tension leaving her.
And Rumi…
Rumi does her best to eat. She hunches forward, curling toward the warmth of the food in front of her, and takes small, steady bites. Her braid is limp and half-undone, her make-up is gone, and a faint tremble runs through her. It makes Celine's heart hurt. She's never seen Rumi this disheveled.
"Can you tell me what happened?" Celine asks the girls, her voice as soft and light as possible. "I know… I know Rumi's d…" She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and forces the words from her mouth. "I know Rumi's demon half has grown. I know you two are probably furious with me. I know… I know I probably don't deserve it, but I'd like to know what happened."
When she opens her eyes again, the three women are staring at her with tired, sharp gazes. Mira and Zoey look to Rumi, who just nods and returns to eating. It's Mira who answers her first.
"The Saja Boys are - were - demons. They were taking fans away. They made it to the Idol Awards. They…"
"Jinu tricked Rumi," Zoey adds softly, reaching out to rub Rumi's back, "but then he… gave his soul to stop Gwi-Ma."
A smile tugs at Celine's lips. Even to demons, Rumi's ability to inspire was unavoidable. The smile falls when she thinks about how much the girls have gone through, and the fact that they didn't feel like they could reach out to her.
"My voice." Rumi's eyelashes flutter, but she keeps her eyes on her food. "We saw gold at the end of our tour. I thought we were close."
"You released Golden."
"I couldn't sing it. My patterns spread to my throat. Jinu… He helped me sing again, and he promised to help me kill Gwi-Ma. He lied. Demons exposed me in front of everyone, and they saw me, and they…"
Mira and Zoey tense at that, something passing between them when their eyes meet over Rumi's head. Dropping their chopsticks, both girls slide off their chairs to hug Rumi tightly, all three of them shaking. Mira murmurs into Rumi's hair, too softly for Celine to hear.
To give them a moment of privacy, she starts doing dishes. Maybe it's not the right thing to do, to turn her back on them now, but she can't think of anything else. They're grown up now, and they didn't call her when Rumi lost her voice. Rumi didn't tell her the patterns were spreading. Would they have told her what happened if she wasn't here now?
She doesn't know, and the thought makes her hands shake as she scrubs the wok. Had she really done such a bad job raising Rumi, training them all, being a mentor, that they didn't trust her enough to talk to her? Especially when being close to a Golden Honmoon was something they could all have celebrated together?
Putting the wok in the dishwasher, she takes a deep breath. Maybe it really is all her fault. Should she have told the other girls about the patterns? Zoey had always been too curious about demons, too interested in knowing if they could be redeemed. Celine worried that any crack in the armor would make it impossible for Zoey to kill them. Mira had been violent towards demons from day one, easily digesting that they were evil and monstrous. It scared Celine to give her any reason to turn that anger on Rumi.
She tried to show Rumi as much love as she had to give. She never called her a demon, just a hunter with patterns, and tried to build her confidence as a woman and an idol and a hunter and a human. Maybe it wasn't it enough. Clearly it wasn't enough.
"Celine?"
Her shoulders tense at the nervousness in Rumi's voice. She makes herself turn around. The girls are still clinging to Rumi, still tangled together, but they're watching her again. Forcing a smile on her face, she nods.
"Yes, Rumi?"
"Thank you."
The words hit her like a punch to the throat, sending her stumbling back against the sink. She frowns, smiles, frowns, and shakes her head. "What? For what?"
Rumi's eyes drop, but she meets her eyes again. "For not killing me. You… could have."
"No. I couldn't. I never could." Her eyes dart away, settling on the shimmering new Honmoon outside the windows. "I never could."
Mira pulls Rumi's chair back and helps her stand. "You should sleep. You've been through a lot recently, and I know you haven't been sleeping."
"We'll tuck you in!" Zoey adds, clapping her hands. As they head away, she gives Celine a piercing stare. "We'll be right back."
Celine just nods, just lets her shoulders fall as they head for the stairs down to their bedrooms. She's probably going to get yelled at, and she deserves it. For now, she goes back to doing the dishes. There's still food on the table, and she can't remember when she last ate, but she already knows she'll pack it away and put it in the fridge for the girls. They can eat it when they wake up, when they don't have the energy to cook.
"What does she mean?" Zoey asks, stepping back into the kitchen. Celine realizes she's been staring at the dishes instead of cleaning them. "About killing her? Because she's a demon?"
"She's not-" The denial is instinctual, a knee jerk reaction after decades of lying. "She's half-demon," Celine settles on after catching herself. "Her father was a demon. He's dead."
Zoey shakes her head. "That's not what I asked, Celine."
She's grown so much, Celine thinks, her heart pounding in her chest. Celine remembers the bouncing, squealing teen she'd met al those years ago. Zoey is the youngest, the kindest, and the most forgiving. Now, her eyes are hard and confused and full of hurt.
"She came to me," Celine manages weakly. "I was tending the graves when the Honmoon pulsed, so angry and pink. Suddenly, she was there. Behind me. Begging… Begging me to kill her."
A gasp makes her look back at Zoey, and she finds the same emotions she feels reflected back in Zoey's eyes. So, Rumi didn't tell them. Celine thinks she should feel bad for revealing that secret, but secrets are what got them all here in the first place. Maybe she could finally stop keeping so many so close to her chest.
"I didn't," Celine continues, Honmoon ringing in her ears. "I couldn't. I wasn't… I'm not strong enough, and I never was. If I were a good Hunter, I would have killed her when she was born, but…" She closes her eyes and shakes her head, trying to knock the weight of her life out of her mind. "Mi-Yeong loved her so much, and I… I promised to keep her safe. I kept telling myself that I could always kill her later, that I would do it as soon as she started showing signs of being a- a demon, but she never did. She never became a demon." Her nails dig into her palms as she forces herself to keep talking. "Tonight… She was a demon, and I still- I still couldn't do it. Maybe it makes me weak. Maybe it's the final sign that I wasn't meant to be a Hunter. I can't hurt her."
A weight crashes into her, and her eyes fly open. Zoey's clinging to her, face buried against her, sobbing. Celine wraps her arms around her automatically. She carefully presses a kiss to her temple. Zoey has always been the most emotional of the girls.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Mira appears now, knuckles white as she crosses her arms in front of her stomach and holds her elbows. She looks like she's seen a ghost. She has. "Why keep it a secret? We would have understood. We wouldn't have-"
Her breath catches in her throat as she sees Mira angry swipe away tears. Maybe it's not that Zoey is the most emotional. Maybe it's that she's the one who shows it the most. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Celine feels like she'll never believe something as fact ever again.
"I raised my weapon at her," Mira whispers. She looks panicked and so, so young. "She- She asked us not to leave her, and I- I treated her like-"
Celine reaches out an arm, and then Mira crashes into her, too. "My girls," she murmurs, resting her cheek on the taller girl's head. She always thought Mira would be taller than her. She isn't. "I'm so sorry. I can't- I don't know if I made the wrong choice, but there are no more secrets, I promise."
Mira's nails dig into Celine's side as she holds her tighter. "We were afraid to call you."
"What?" Celine tenses, pulling away just enough to look at Mira. "I would have helped. I am always here for you girls."
"We didn't want you to see our faults and fears," Zoey mumbles.
Her blood running cold, Celine's eyes fall closed again. Another mistake. Another way she's failed to break the cycle, failed to be a better mentor than her own, failed to be there for her girls in any way that actually mattered. The Honmoon makes her ears ring and her joints hurt.
"I'm sorry for that, too," Celine sighs, blinking up at the ceiling. She thinks she may be out of tears. "I should have - I should have been enough."
The girls pull away, wiping their faces and catching their breath. Celine does the same. She's embarrassed to be seen like this, in her casual clothing without make-up or anyway to hide herself. It's her duty to be strong for her girls, for her hunters. Instead, she's handing out napkins and blowing her nose.
"Can we talk?" Zoey asks now, her hand finding Mira's. "Please. About everything?"
"And we need a plan," Mira adds. "For Rumi. She's going to need a lot of help. Probably for a while."
Celine nods, gesturing to the couch. "Let's sit."
She perches on the edge of the coffee table before standing again. She's too anxious to sit, too guilty to rest. The girls settle on the couch close together, tangling until they may as well be one. It's so familiar that Celine gasps, heart pounding painfully. She misses her girls. They would know what to say. They would never have made her mistakes at all.
"It isn't that I didn't trust you," Celine tells them as she starts to pace. "I just - I know how hard it is to kill. Even kill demons. If you thought some demons could be redeemed, if you thought Rumi was the enemy… It was a risk that I couldn't - wouldn't take. I did my best to never make Rumi feel like a demon, so she could keep killing them, too. So she didn't hate herself as much as she hates demons."
Mira sighs heavily. "I heard Rumi asking if he was being forced to take souls." She rubs her forehead. "That was after she started talking to Jinu. Maybe she thought she could talk the demons out of being bad."
"I thought the Saja Boys might be nice demons," Zoey admits, hands tightening around Mira's waist. "I think Rumi's a nice demon."
"All our texts tell us that demons will disappear with a Golden Honmoon, and I thought that Rumi's patterns would go away. We'd never have to tell you." She shrugs. "Or all the demons would be gone, so it wouldn't matter if she had patterns. You would know she isn't like them."
"We do know that," Mira snaps, scowling. "Obviously." Her eyes widen, falling into memory. "We know that now."
Zoey nods. She looks even more exhausted now, but she's hanging on. Her care for Rumi outweighs her own need for rest.
"We won't ever hurt her. We promise." She flushes, eyelids drooping as she fights to think. "We should do family therapy."
"Zoey..."
"I mean it!"
Celine smiles at the tired, playful bickering. It's a relief to see something like normalcy between the girls. Therapy isn't a bad idea, but the thought of talking so honestly about her own faults and fears makes her feel sick. She doesn't want the girls to know she has her own, that she's just fear and fault stacked on each other. They tower over her head, making her unsteady on her feet as they sway.
"Know you know," she says with finality. "You know the truth. Rumi is half-demon. You've all also made a new Honmoon. There's nothing I can do to help you with that. I don't know it. It's yours." She meets Mira's eyes and then Zoey's. "I can't undo what happened, and I can't change the way I made you feel. That I made you think you couldn't reach out. I can only apologize. I'm so sorry for not being the mentor you deserved."
The girls just look at her, someone so young and so grown up at once. Celine can't read them anymore. She always used to know what they were thinking, when they were trying to be sneaky, when they were angry. Now, she can only wait for her sentence.
"I'm gay."
Celine blinks at Mira, mind trying to process the sudden change in topic.
"I'm gay," the dancer says again. "No more secrets, right?"
"Uh. Right." Celine shrugs helplessly. "Me too."
Zoey shoots up as her mouth falls open. "All this time??"
"That's… usually how it works." She shakes her head, pushing her hair from her face, and looks at Mira. "Any other secrets? Or anything I can cover now? I know it'll be a while, and there are definitely more conversations to be had, but… Whatever I can do."
"Will you make Rumi hide again?" Zoey asks her, voice low and sharp. "She doesn't want to hide anymore."
It's true, Celine knows, because she never wanted to hide. Not from Mira and Zoey. Rumi trusted them, and maybe Celine should have listened. Maybe there was a right time to tell them that she missed. Maybe it would always have been a risk without reward. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
"I won't. I tried to. When she came to me, I put my sweater on her, told her we'd tell you some lie, go back to normal." Celine winces when they both scowl. "She didn't want to go back. She told me… She told me she was glad to destroy the Honmoon if it meant secrets and hiding. I didn't know she would make a new one." Her eyes drift to the window again. "A better one."
"So no more hiding." There's no room for argument in Mira's voice. "No more lying."
"No more lying."
"Celine?"
The three women in the living room tense before turning toward the sound of Rumi's voice. She's in her pajamas, her tank tops and shorts decorated with boats and potatoes. Like the other two, she looks young. She looks like Celine's little girl again, and that makes her heart clench.
"Yes, Rumi?" she asks, already moving toward her. "Do you need something?"
Rumi nods as she lifts her arms. Celine is between them in an instant, hugging her daughter. For a moment, they just hold each other as the Honmoon thrums through them.
"Can I cut my hair? Can you cut my hair?"
The long purple hair that hangs loosely from Rumi's head has never been cut. Sure, the ends are trimmed periodically, but they've never done more than that. Celine's hands shake slightly as she slides her fingers through Rumi's hair.
"How short?"
"Like yours."
"Okay."
"Maybe shorter."
"Okay."
They all end up in the bathroom, Mira and Zoey pressed together in the bathtub as Celine settles behind Rumi with a pair of shears. The overhead fan is almost as loud as the silence that pulses through the room. Below it, the Honmoon hums happily, all its remaining Hunters together again.
Celine isn't sure if she should unbraid Rumi's hair before cutting it, or if it would be easier to cut most of the length now. She decides that she can cut most of the length while it's still braided, and then undo it all the fix the shape. She has never been interested in hair and make-up, but she watched a few videos when she suddenly had three teen girls to guide.
The shears works their way through the thick braid, one small snip at a time. Soft breathing behind her tells her that one of the girls has fallen asleep. No one minds. Celine just focuses on Rumi, on her daughter, on the person who owns her heart. The blades cut the last of the braid off, and Celine lays it on the tile beside them.
Rumi looks at the thick braid behind her, hand barely brushing over the length of it. "I already feel lighter."
Shifting onto her knees, Celine winces at the pain that shoots through them. She fell hard earlier, under the tree, and she's getting too old to be throwing herself around. It only takes a moment to take all the gold clips from Rumi's braid and let her hair down.
The ends are a mess of lengths, uneven from the way she cut the braid. Celine just sits back again and words as calmly and steadily as she can. She can see straight lines, and they can take her to a salon later to fix whatever mistakes Celine makes. If only other mistakes were as easy to hand off.
A snore comes from behind her, and she smiles. So, Zoey fell asleep first and now Mira is gone, too. Rumi's shoulders shake lightly at the sound. Even when everything in the world has changed, Mira still stores. Small miracles.
"I'm done," Celine says when she is, putting the shears down. The bathroom floor looks like the Honmoon with colorful strands spilling over the white tile. "Do you want me to braid it?"
"No." Rumi sighs and looks over her shoulder at the woman who raised her. "I'm mad at you. I think I have been for a while. But. I know you meant well, and… That can be enough for right now."
She didn't realize how much she needed to hear that. Celine doesn't know she's been holding her breath until air rushes into her lugs and she can breathe again. Maybe she hasn't ruined everything behind repair. Maybe they can still move forward. Maybe she has time to be a good mother, a good mentor, a good person.
"Thank you," she whispers, leaning closer. "I love you. I do, Rumi. I'm sorry I couldn't make you believe it when it really mattered."
Rumi's lip trembles, and then she's falling into Celine's arms. "I didn't want to die. I just wanted it all to stop. It was so much, and I couldn't hide anymore, and you- You told me to lie again!"
"I know!" Celine feels tears run down her cheeks yet again, and wonders if she will ever stop crying. "I was wrong! I was scared! As soon as you were gone - It was too late, but-"
"Stay here," Rumi asks weakly. She looks up at Celine with tear-filled eyes. "Stay with me. Please."
Celine nods, holds Rumi's head against her chest, tries to breathe the air she just got back. "Of course. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere, Rumi."
They leave the hair on the bathroom floor. Celine wakes Mira and Zoey, helps them out of the tub, leads all three of her girls to Rumi's bedroom. She's only barely surprised when Mira and Zoey pull pajamas from one of Rumi's dresser doors.
Rumi leads Celine onto the bed, pushing aside blankets until they can lay together. It reminds Celine of Rumi's childhood, of the nights when Rumi had nightmares, of the early morning hours when Celine returned from a hunt to find Rumi in her bed. Now, like then, Rumi curls into Celine's chest, her arms tight around her waist.
She doesn't know what she expects, but a small body presses into her back, and she twists to see Zoey's black hair. The maknae's face is pressed between her shoulder blades, like they've watch another scary movie and the girl who kills demons is scared of fake blood.
Mira lays behind Rumi, arm stretching over all three of her bed mates. Her weight presses Rumi tighter against Celine, and her hand fists in Zoey's shirt. When Celine meets her eyes, she nods. Mira always was the first and last line of defense.
Celine has made a lot of mistakes. She's been wrong more than she's been right, and she has lost nearly every person she loves. Maybe she's hurt them too much to be fully forgiven. Maybe she's too broken to be the person they deserve. Maybe, just maybe, she can make up for all she's done. Maybe the Honmoon isn't the only thing that fundamentally changed during the night