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There’s something about Chuei Liyu.
He’s heard all the rumours about the elusive campus prince. Apparently the BPU arts department is notorious for having handsome guys, and among them Liyu is considered one of the most popular.
Watching him from the next table over, Sanghyeon finally gets it.
He’s the kind of handsome that suits fairy tales and flower fields, with his delicate features and his pretty eyes. His voice is gentle when he speaks, a little sheepish about having arrived late, and when the other seniors push him to say something to all the new freshmen, he goes pink at the attention.
“Um,” he clears his throat awkwardly, holding up his glass. “Welcome to our department! Everyone’s really friendly and cool, so I hope you can make new friends and enjoy your time here at BPU.”
“That’s it?” Someone asks, teasing, but soon everyone is clinking their drinks together and settling back into lively conversation.
The department had booked out a restaurant for their first gathering of the year: a few dozen twenty-somethings crowded around soju and fried food, with some inevitably about to drink themselves into their first hangovers.
Liyu is sat at a table in the centre, skin glowing gold from the warm lighting overhead, and everyone seems to be orbiting him like planets around the sun. A friend has an arm slung over his shoulder and there’s an almost constant rotation of people hovering around his table, mostly girls hoping to get a chance to talk to him.
“Some people are just born different…” the senior sitting opposite Sanghyeon speaks up. “If I had a face like that, I wouldn’t still be single.”
“I think you’d need to fix more than just your face,” the girl besides him says, ignoring the affronted look she gets in return. “Even though Liyu-sunbae gets so many confessions, he’s still never accepted any of them. It’s pretty rare to see him at a meetup like this, I heard he’s usually kind of hard to find.”
“That’s part of the appeal,” someone else pipes up. “He’s so mysterious. I wonder where he usually hangs out. Or what his ideal type is. Do you think…”
Sanghyeon tunes out of the conversation.
For the last few minutes he’s just been picking at the fries in front of him, which are slowly getting stale. It’s not that he’s not interested in getting to know his fellow students; usually he’s more than sociable enough to get along with anyone. But the whole first week of college has been day after day of meeting new people and even he gets drained after a while. So he can’t really be blamed for zoning out a little and getting distracted watching the pretty boy across the room, can he?
Sanghyeon feels a bony finger poke him in the ribs and he squirms, sending a glare to the person beside him.
“What are you thinking about?” Woojin asks, peering over his shoulder to follow Sanghyeon’s line of sight. “Or rather, who are you thinking about?”
“Nothing, I’m just tired.” Sanghyeon replies, taking a fry and shoving it in Woojin’s mouth.
They’d sat next to each other in their very first class of semester, when Sanghyeon had still been full of energy, and clicked right away. As it stands now, he feels like he’s seen more than enough of Woojin for one week.
“Sure, it’s been ten minutes already, I’d hope you’re tired of staring at Liyu-sunbae’s face by now.”
Sanghyeon scoffs, turning his attention back to Woojin. “I wasn’t staring. At him. I was just spacing out, that’s all.”
“Don’t lie. I’ve seen you space out in class, it makes you look a lot more stupid than you did just now.”
“What does that mean-”
“Hey, don’t look now, but he’s coming over.”
There’s a tap at Sanghyeon’s shoulder.
“Is it okay if I sit here?”
Up close, Liyu is even prettier. Those kind eyes are fixed on Sanghyeon now, the warmth of his gaze directed just at him. There’s a hint of hesitation in Liyu’s smile, but Sanghyeon just nods, a little awestruck, and he feels Woojin nudge him with his elbow.
He scoots over and Liyu squeezes into the booth next to him, their arms brushing as Sanghyeon slides his drink over on the table to accommodate him.
Across from them, another senior sits down. He’s also ridiculously handsome, like almost unrealistically handsome, and Sanghyeon wonders if there’s something in the water in this part of Seoul that makes all the guys look like they just stepped out of a romance comic.
“I’m Haneum, head of the music club,” he starts. “We’re looking for some new recruits for this year. We perform at festivals and campus events, so if you’re interested you should definitely sign up. Auditions are next week, so stop by if you can.”
On Sanghyeon’s other side, Woojin lights up. He begins telling Haneum all about how he used to busk in high school, slipping his phone out of his pocket to show him the videos. Woojin could come off as a bit air-headed at times, but when it came to music he was begrudgingly quite cool. Not that Sanghyeon would admit that out loud.
There’s another light tap on Sanghyeon’s arm.
“Hi, I’m Chuei Liyu, a third year. It’s nice to meet you.” He has all of Sanghyeon’s attention in an instant, but he finds he can’t conjure any of his usual charm or energy.
“I’m Chung Sanghyeon, a freshman.” He thinks about shaking his hand, but they’re sat next to each other and there’s not much space, so he gives a stiff nod.
“Are you a music major too?” Liyu asks. His voice is soft as he leans in to be heard over the chatter around them, and he smells faintly of something floral.
“Yeah, I’m not much of a singer though. I prefer rap, and I’ve been learning to write some stuff in my spare time.”
Liyu’s eyes go a little wide in acknowledgement, and Sanghyeon thinks it makes him resemble a surprised bunny. Cute.
“What about you? What’s your major?”
Sanghyeon already knows of course, having heard nothing but gossip about him for the past 45 minutes.
“I’m in visual arts, but I like singing too, so I decided to join the music club with Haneum. It would be great if you joined, we don’t have any rappers in the club yet.”
There’s something in the gracious way he speaks that makes Sanghyeon feel like Liyu could ask him anything and he’d say yes.
“Oh, Leejeong, you’re leaving already?” Haneum is looking over at someone who’s already shrugging on his jacket to go.
“Yeah, it takes me like an hour to get home and apparently there’s a storm later tonight.”
Beside him, Liyu stiffens.
“Oh, really? Get home safe then, see you next week!” As everyone is waving them goodbye, Liyu stands up.
“Actually, I think I’ll head out too.”
Haneum turns to him with a frown. “But you just got here, you should stay and make some new friends.”
“I, uh, have an early class tomorrow,” he calls over his shoulder, heading to his previous seat to fetch his bag in a rush.
“It’s Saturday tomorrow, Liyu!”
“Not a lecture, it’s tutoring,” he explains, walking back to Haneum to give him a last pat on the shoulder. He fishes in his pocket for a few bills, setting them on the table in front of Sanghyeon. “I hope that’s enough to cover your drinks. I’ll see you all later then.”
There’s a last-minute clamour of people asking where he’s going, if they can walk to the station with him, but he’s out of the door before anyone’s words stick.
Sanghyeon feels ever so slightly like a whirlwind just swept by, even though Liyu’s brief presence felt more like the calm at the eye of the storm. He glances over at Haneum, who just shrugs.
“He’s always like that. Like our very own cinderella sometimes, I swear. Anyway, you’ll join our club, right?””
—
The next week passes by in a blur of classes and uncharacteristically grey spring weather. Sanghyeon has already become a loyal patron of the campus cafe, where he gets the coffee he needs to power through his gauntlet of morning classes.
Auditions for the music club roll around, and Woojin is talking his ear off on their way over to the club room. There’s already a line stretching down the corridor when they arrive, and Woojin is careful not to bump anyone with his guitar case as they walk past to find a spot.
“I didn’t realise it was this popular,” Sanghyeon comments, leaning back against the wall.
“Yeah, there’s so many people!” Woojin looks giddy with excitement. “I’ve always wanted to try playing in a band, do you think there’d be enough people to cover all the instruments? Or we could even form a choir with everyone here.”
“I wouldn’t get my hopes up,” a voice says. It’s Haneum, pinching the bridge of his nose as he walks down the length of the line. He steps back to address them all.
“Alright, I’m only saying this once, so listen up. This is a club that’s serious about music, so if you’re here to ogle the club members or mess around, you can leave right now. Membership depends on if you pass the audition, no buts, and for the last time, no, Chuei Liyu isn’t here today.”
There’s a murmur of discontent, and then little by little people begin to leave the line.
“Well, that narrows it down,” Haneum sighs. “Come on in guys, and we’ll start the actual auditions.”
In the end there’s only about ten of them left, all looking anxious, and Sanghyeon makes sure to clap encouragingly after each audition. He’s impressed, not for the first time, by Woojin’s voice and the skillful way he plays the guitar, fingers shaking slightly with nerves but the steady tones of his voice never betraying him. Sanghyeon whoops the loudest when he’s finished, flashing him a thumbs up as he shuffles back and sits down next to him.
“Your turn next,” Woojin says, patting him on the butt when Sanghyeon stands up.
He casts a wary glance at their makeshift panel of judges. Haneum, the music club president, who’d apparently appeared on a singing show on TV before. Leejeong, the vice president, who seems to be the gentle counterpart to Haneum’s strict evaluation, and a few other seniors Sanghyeon doesn’t recognise. No Liyu, though, as promised, and Sanghyeon doesn’t know why he’d been hoping to see him in the first place.
He’s prepared a self-written rap, and he’s a bit shy about performing it for the first time in front of a crowd, but Sanghyeon shakes other thoughts from his head and throws himself into performing.
He earns some humble applause, and judging by the fact that the stoic Haneum is nodding, he’ll take it as a success.
“You’re not half bad,” Woojin comments with a grin as Sanghyeon plops down next to him.
“Of course, who do you think I am?”
As they sit through the last few auditions and Haneum’s final remarks about club activities,
Sanghyeon’s eyes keep trailing to the door, wondering if anyone else will be joining them, but no one ever does.
—
After successfully passing the auditions, Sanghyeon and Woojin find themselves welcomed into the circle of music club seniors. This involves joining their group chat and discussing what song they’re going to perform at the upcoming spring showcase, as well as apparently being called on randomly by Haneum to do his chores.
“Can you drop this off in the club room for me? It’s the lyrics and scoresheets we need for practice later.” Sanghyeon opens his arms and lets Haneum deposit the contents of his backpack into them.
“But isn’t this one of your textbooks, hyung?”
“It’s heavy,” Haneum complains, slipping his bag back onto his shoulder. “Just do me this favour, please? I have to head to class now, see you later!”
Without leaving room to argue, Haneum rushes off in the direction of the lecture hall, leaving Sanghyeon with an armful of folders and his surprisingly thick music theory textbook.
When Sanghyeon arrives at the club room, he’s panting. Four floors up with no elevator in sight, the music club has to have it the worst. He recovers his breath and pushes open the door to see a lone figure sitting by the window, silhouetted against the blue backdrop of the sky.
They turn, and Sanghyeon recognises the figure of the person he’d found himself thinking about in class that morning. Liyu doesn’t seem to have noticed him yet, absorbed in drawing in a sketchbook perched on his lap, only glancing up occasionally to look out of the window.
Sanghyeon clears his throat, startling him.
“Sorry, Haneum-hyung asked me to drop these off, so…” He trails off, feeling awkward again. He’s really not this bad usually, but something about being around Liyu makes his own voice sound a little too loud in his ears.
“Oh, I guess he’s making the freshmen run his errands again.”
Liyu gestures towards the desk at the other end of the room, and Sanghyeon sets the pile down with an unceremonious thump.
When he turns, Liyu’s attention is back on his work. The sunlight catches on his features, the high slope of his nose and the sharp line of his jaw. If Sanghyeon was any good at art, he’d want to capture it somehow. He lingers a moment, fingers tapping a rhythm on the surface of the desk.
“Sunbae, what are you drawing?” Sanghyeon blurts out.
He was looking for an excuse to start a conversation, stay a tad longer, but maybe that was a bad call. He knows he definitely wouldn’t show anyone his unfinished lyrics if they asked.
Liyu blinks at him, but eventually turns in his chair and tilts the sketchbook in Sanghyeon’s direction.
“It’s just a quick sketch so don’t expect much.”
Sanghyeon steps closer to look and sees a pencil sketch of the campus courtyard, sunlight reflected on the buildings' arched windows and the paths lined with flowers. He glances up and sees the same view outside, this time vibrantly coloured and cluttered with students milling to and fro.
“Wow, that’s so good.” Sanghyeon flicks his gaze back and forth between the window and the sketchbook, mouth stuck in a awed ‘o’ shape.
Liyu fidgets with his pencil, shy at the attention, and Sanghyeon steps away to give him some space. “Do you come here to draw a lot?”
Liyu nods. “Haneum lets me use this place like a hideout sometimes, when I need some quiet. And the view here is really nice, I think I’ve drawn this exact scene in every season.”
“That’s so cool. I never really had the patience for art when I was younger,” Sanghyeon admits. “But then why did you decide to join the music club?”
There’s a brief silence, punctuated only be the soft scritch of Liyu’s pencil moving again, and Sanghyeon worries he’s asked too many questions.
“Art is something I like to do on my own. I get to take my time and express whatever I want to.” He tilts his head, studying his drawing with a focused gaze. “But music is something that’s more fun when you do it with other people, right? Drawing was always my safe space, but I like that music challenges me.”
Even the way he talks is pretty, Sanghyeon thinks, and then Liyu looks up at him with a soft smile.
The world doesn’t stop spinning, time doesn’t slow down. There isn’t a sudden breeze that stirs the leaves fluttering from the trees or a romantic ballad playing somewhere in the distance, but Sanghyeon feels it all the same. It feels like the beginning of something, something he won’t be able to put a name to until later.
“Besides, I already spend enough time drawing for my assignments, so I wanted to make some more exciting memories.”
Oblivious to Sanghyeon’s internal revelation, Liyu drops his gaze back to his sketchbook, adding in the shadows the trees cast along the path. Sanghyeon watches him, admiring how his deft fingers make light strokes, before smudging the graphite with his finger to blur the edges.
Okay, maybe Sangyheon needs to stop standing there like a creep.
“Are you going to be taking part in the spring showcase then?”
“Hm, that depends if Haneum will let me.”
Sanghyeon crosses the room, balancing on the edge of the worn couch opposite where Liyu is sat.
“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t he?”
“Haneum is really strict about our performances. In practice, he doesn’t let us go home until we get it perfect. He won’t chew you out, but if you sing a wrong note, he’ll give you this look.” Liyu raises his eyebrows and looks up at Sanghyeon through his lashes, face comically serious, and Sanghyeon can’t help the laugh that bubbles up out of him.
“He does seem very serious about music.”
“A few days before the showcase it will be like Sparta in here, trust me.”
“I’m kind of scared now,” Sanghyeon says, but there’s a smile playing on his face.
Everyone said Liyu was so mysterious, Sanghyeon thought he’d be harder to talk to than this, but he’s funnier than he expected. He was nervous for nothing. Sanghyeon smooths down the front of his shirt and leans forward to catch his eye, liking the feeling of Liyu’s attention on him.
“Can I call you hyung?” He asks, feeling bold.
“Uh, sure. I don’t really mind.”
Sanghyeon grins.
“Then I’ll see you at practice later, hyung!"
—
Sanghyeon can’t hide his excitement when Liyu does walk into the club room later that afternoon, perking up from where he’d been leaning heavily on Woojin’s shoulder and complaining about how boring his last lecture was.
“Liyu-hyung!” He calls, waving him over.
Woojin raises his eyebrows at this development but thankfully doesn’t say anything.
Sanghyeon knows from personal experience that there's a fine line between annoyance and endearment, but tiptoeing it is how he's made most of his friends so far.
To his credit, Liyu just greets him politely, unfazed by his sudden enthusiasm. They stand side by side as Haneum heads to the front to discuss their upcoming performance.
They decide to sing an acoustic medley of some recently trending k-pop songs, with Woojin on acoustic guitar and Haneum on the keyboard.
Haneum had already spent a lot of time arranging and dividing parts based on what he saw of everyone’s strengths, but he’s hoping they can all share ideas and improve for the final product. The spring showcase is a great opportunity to promote their club and meet some new people, and something or other about team harmony and cooperation, but it’s all sort of going in one ear and coming out of the other for Sanghyeon, who thinks light blue really suits Liyu. He had shrugged off the jacket he’d been wearing earlier to reveal a blue button-up and a black tie, and it makes Liyu looks like he belongs in a teen youth drama about high school first loves.
“The reason we’re stuck practising here instead of a proper music room is because the student union refuses to listen to our demands.” Haneum is still going on with his rather impassioned speech. “They still haven’t fixed the air conditioning over there or gotten the piano tuned. But if we can get a good turn out for our performance, we can convince those stingy guys to give us some more funding. And luckily, we have our secret weapon, Liyu.”
Liyu looks stunned as Haneum parades him to the front of the group with his hands on his shoulders.
“This right here, is how we get everyone to flock to us. First, we choose a good song to let him shine. Then, we make sure he’s front and centre on the day, upload a good video to the college forums and then when it goes viral they won’t be able to ignore us. It’s perfect.”
Fueled by Haneum’s passion, they start practising several times a week.
Liyu is flustered to be in the spotlight, but with everyone’s encouragement he takes a few solo lines and diligently practises them until Haneum is happy.
Everyone gets a few moments to shine, and Sanghyeon is in charge of the rap lines. While the others discuss the arrangement and practise the instrumentals, Sanghyeon often has to practise his own lines in the corner. It would be a bit lonely, but Sanghyeon prides himself in making friends wherever he goes. And he has his sights set on one target.
Ignoring Woojin, his closest friend, and Haneum, who is clearly the most knowledgeable, Sanghyeon decides to ask Liyu every tiny question he has.
“Liyu-hyung, how do I sing the harmony for this part?”
“Liyu-hyung, how does this bit go again?”
“Liyu-hyung, do you think I sound okay? I’ll show you, listen.”
He can practically feel Woojin’s judgement from across the room, but Liyu always answers him sincerely. No matter how frequent or frankly ridiculous Sanghyeon’s concerns are, he always turns to him with those gentle eyes and listens until he’s finished. Sometimes he laughs and gets that Sanghyeon is being silly, and sometimes he sits down next to him and helps him as best as he can. Sure, it’s all Sanghyeon’s one-sided approaches, but it has to count for something.
In every definition of the word, Sanghyeon thinks Liyu is lovely.
He says this out loud as they’re leaving class one morning, and Woojin rolls his eyes so hard Sanghyeon is genuinely worried he’s been possessed for a second.
“I heard you the first five times, you don’t need to say it again.”
“But I’m serious, I told him I was really struggling with a decision yesterday and he asked me what it was. And I said I couldn’t choose between having chicken or pizza for dinner and he took out his phone and helped me look for good restaurants that do both.”
“Wow, that hyung must be a saint.”
“I think we’re going to be good friends,” Sanghyeon declares.
“At best, you’re free entertainment for him. At worst, you’re going to annoy him so much he’ll want to quit the music club.”
“He would never. Everyone loves me.”
“Sure, whatever you say.”
Sanghyeon is lovable, just ask his family and his high school friends and coax it out of Woojin who grumbles but joins him for lunch anyway. He just hopes Liyu feels that way too.
—
It’s late afternoon on a random weekday when Sanghyeon sees Liyu next. He’d been cooped up in a practise room all day struggling with an assignment for his songwriting module, when he realises he must have left his water bottle in class that morning.
There had been a steady drizzle of rain since noon and and the incoming grey clouds spell trouble, so he wants to get home as soon as possible. He sprints down the corridor and skips up the stairs two steps at a time until he sees the sign for the lecture theatre. He’s relieved to find it empty, and Sanghyeon busies himself with scanning the aisles of seats for his bottle.
“Found it!” He stuffs it into his bag and heads down the auditorium steps to the exit, almost tripping over them when he realises that there’s someone slumped across a desk near the front.
From this angle, all he can see is the dark sweep of their hair and the grey of the hoodie they seem to be using as a pillow, but as Sanghyeon inches closer he recognises the silver glint of an earring.
“Liyu-hyung?”
Sanghyeon hovers uncertainly next to him, wanting to get a glimpse of his face and check that it really is him. He shuffles down the aisle and squats down in front of the desk he’s lying on to get a closer look.
Liyu’s eyes are closed, long lashes grazing his cheeks. His features are just as pretty like this, delicate and peacefully still. From the steady rise and fall of his breaths, he’s clearly asleep, and Sanghyeon doesn’t know if he should wake him up or not. Most classes are already over for the day so it might take a while before anyone else finds him here.
Sanghyeon lifts a hand to nudge him awake, but stops halfway when Liyu stirs, as if feeling someone’s eyes on him.
He watches, entranced, as Liyu’s eyes flutter open, blinking slow and confused, before landing on him.
“Hi?” Sanghyeon offers, as Liyu sits up with a start. He waves the hand he’d held out meekly, hoping it didn’t look too strange. “I saw you sitting here so I was going to wake you up…”
Sanghyeon gives his best reassuring smile and Liyu’s mouth parts like he’s about to say something, but he closes it again.
He swallows, and Sanghyeon’s gaze is drawn to the movement of his throat almost involuntarily. Dressed in just a plain white t-shirt and clearly still a little dazed from his nap, he looks somewhat more vulnerable than Sanghyeon has ever seen him before. He tries not to stare.
Liyu glances away and towards the window, before he’s pulling his hoodie over his head and reaching for the bag next to him.
“If you’re going home, do you wanna go together?” Sanghyeon asks, “I only live twenty minutes away so I can take the bus or the subway, or would you maybe-”
“No, sorry, I really need to go.”
He doesn’t leave any room for response, slinging his shoulder bag on and giving Sanghyeon a half-hearted wave before he’s out of the door.
“-want to get dinner…? I guess not.”
Sanghyeon drops his forehead to the wooden desk, hitting it with a soft thunk that resounds through the empty auditorium.
He ends up trudging back home on his own, ignoring a friend’s invite to get dinner in favour of wallowing in his own miserable company. As if it can read his mood, the dark clouds that had lingered since earlier begin pelting down with rain, and Sanghyeon scrambles to fish his umbrella out of his bag in time.
He was hoping a walk would improve his mood, but now Sanghyeon wants nothing more than to melt into his couch and order delivery for dinner. He skips the main roads and takes a shortcut through the park, hurrying past the empty playground when he hears a faint mewing sound.
It’s hard to pinpoint over the noise of the rain, but Sanghyeon spins around to look for the source, taking a few steps off the path when he sees it.
There’s an inky bundle of fur curled up and shivering at the base of a tree, its leaves only offering partial protection from the rain. Its tail is tucked between its legs and its paws are brought up to hide its face, like it’s trying to disappear completely.
Sanghyeon takes a cautious step closer. Its fur is a rich black, matted in some places from the rain, and when it notices Sanghyeon’s presence two golden eyes turn to peek up at him. Immediately it flattens itself against the ground to create distance, paws ready to dart away at any moment, but Sanghyeon, a seasoned pet owner and never one to shy away from a chance to pet a cute animal, is slow and careful as he crouches down in front of it.
He doesn’t mind when the knee of his jeans grow damp, just holds out a hand for it to sniff at, staying still until it decides Sanghyeon isn’t a threat.
“Hey there,” he says with a soft voice. “You must be cold.”
It doesn’t approach, eyes still trained on Sanghyeon’s every move. With its wary demeanour, he wonders if it’s a stray.
“How about this? I’ll leave this with you, otherwise you’ll get all wet. Then you get somewhere warm and dry as soon as you can, okay?”
He speaks seriously, as if it will understand him, then lowers his umbrella to the ground, positioning it so it shields the cat from the rain.
“Take care, little guy. Don’t catch a cold.”
He gives it a wave, hoping for some sign of it warming up to him, but it just stays there, eyes fixed on him. Well, alright, even his own beloved cat had taken some time to come around to him.
Its intent eyes remind him vaguely of someone, but then he feels the rain soak through the thin material of his jacket and all else is forgotten as he sprints the rest of the way home.
—
“Sanghyeon!”
He can't tell if it's his imagination when he hears a familiar voice call out his name the next morning. He's still in disbelief as Liyu jogs over to him from across the courtyard, not sure he heard correctly even as he comes to a stop in front of him.
It’s rare to spot Liyu anywhere but the music club room, and some days he isn’t even at practice. God knows Haneum is tired of Sanghyeon asking about where Liyu is.
“Here, I wanted to return this to you.”
Liyu hands him an umbrella, and Sanghyeon looks down at it, dumbfounded.
“Thanks, hyung. But where did you get this?”
It's a plain navy blue, the foldable kind they sell at the convenience store for 10,000 won. He’d bought it a few months ago when he got caught in the rain without one, and it's a miracle Sanghyeon had even managed to keep it for as long as he did. After leaving it with the cat yesterday, he was convinced he’d never see it again.
“Actually someone gave it to me earlier,” Liyu explains. “They asked me to pass it on to you.”
“Oh, really?”
Maybe someone had seen Sanghyeon leaving it yesterday and picked it up some time after him. He just hopes the cat is okay. “Thanks again.”
“No problem,” Liyu says, excusing himself.
It's a little unexpected, but Sanghyeon supposes it's just his lucky day. Getting to see Liyu in the morning and getting his umbrella back? Perhaps he ought to buy a lottery ticket.
—
The day of the spring showcase arrives bright and early, the quad lined with sponsor stalls and clubs ready to promote with banners and raffles. On the green, they’ve set up a small raised stage for the main show, decorated with the university’s signature colours.
With the sky a picturesque blue overhead, it looks like something straight out of one of those college brochures Sanghyeon remembers poring over a year ago.
By the time the main show commences, he’s buzzing with energy, jumping up to get a glimpse of the crowd from his position off stage, hidden mostly by the sound equipment.
Woojin has to tug him back in line when Haneum gathers them round for a last-minute pep talk.
“Alright, just do as we practised and we’ll be totally fine. We’ll do a quick mic check before we start properly, and remember not to rush. Let’s have fun with it!”
They put their hands together for a cheer, and Liyu’s is the last one on top. He's got slender, pretty fingers, perhaps a bit longer than his own. Sanghyeon meets his eye across the huddle and feels something other than pre-show nerves flutter in his stomach.
Standing together at the edge of the stage, they wait anxiously for the taekwondo team’s demonstration to wrap up. The air fills with the sound of applause, and Sanghyeon calms himself down with a few deep breaths.
“Wait, is it raining?” Someone says.
Sure enough, Sanghyeon feels a drop of rain land on his outstretched palm, and cranes his neck to look up at the sky. There are a few grey clouds standing in ugly contrast to the clear blue, and he frowns.
“It didn't say anything about rain on the forecast this morning.”
“It's probably just a random drizzle, the equipment is all covered so don't worry about it.” Haneum herds them over to the side to allow the taekwondo club members off stage. “Alright, it's go time kids!”
Sanghyeon takes a step towards the stage stairs, but stops when he bumps into Liyu’s back.
“Liyu-hyung?”
Liyu turns, and Sanghyeon sees panic written in capital letters across his face.
“I need to go.”
“Why, what’s wrong?”
His gaze is frantic, eyes darting between the stage and the crowd and Sanghyeon’s worried expression.
“I’m sorry, I just- I don’t think I can do this.”
“Are you nervous about performing? It’s okay, hyung.” Sanghyeon reaches for his hand and finds that Liyu’s fingers are trembling. “It’s going to be fine. Don’t worry, we’ll all be there with you.”
“I’m sorry,” Liyu repeats, shaking his head. “I’m really sorry, but I feel sick. I have to go.”
“Hyung, wait-”
Liyu twists out of Sanghyeon’s grasp, not sparing a glance backwards before he’s sprinting away, across the lawn and far from the crowds, disappearing into a nearby building as Haneum approaches in worry.
“What happened? Where did Liyu go?”
“I don’t know, he said he was sick.” Sanghyeon looks down at the hand that had held Liyu’s. He’d been shaking, the nerves never easing even as Sanghyeon tried to calm him down. He’d thought it was just stage fright, but now he’s not so sure. “It looked pretty serious. Should I go and check on him?”
“We don’t have time, we’ll just have to perform without him. Woojin-ah, you know Liyu’s lines as well, don’t you?” Haneum places a hand on Sanghyeon’s shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
Sanghyeon wants to protest but he can’t bail knowing that everyone’s been working so hard towards this as well. With one last worried glance in the direction Liyu had run in, Sanghyeon follows Haneum up on stage.
As soon as the song had ended and they’d said their thank yous and promotional lines, Sanghyeon had run offstage to look for Liyu. He searched everywhere - their clubroom, the infirmary, and even the nearest bathrooms, but he was nowhere to be found.
The drizzle that had started during their performance had only gotten stronger, and they had all dispersed with promises to get a celebratory dinner some other time. Thankfully his umbrella was still at the bottom of his bag from the time Liyu returned it to him, and he’s at least mostly dry.
All things considered, the show had gone well. Sanghyeon hadn’t messed up any of his lines and he’d blended in pretty well with the harmonies, but his heart still feels heavy. Even though he’d been looking forward to this day all week, now that it’s over he feels a little empty. Performing on stage was fun, but Liyu’s distraught expression was still fresh in his mind and he hadn’t really been able to give it his all.
He’d even worn his favourite sneakers today, Sanghyeon laments, dodging puddles along the sidewalk. The rain beats a steady rhythm on his umbrella, and he finds himself humming along to one of the songs they’d performed earlier.
He kicks a pebble on the side of the street as he waits at a red light, then tilts his head up to stare up at the sky. The blue sky from this morning feels like a distant dream, looking now at the grey clouds swarming above him.
His eyes are downcast as he walks, steps sluggish. He doesn’t really feel like going anywhere fast, and the rain is weirdly calming, even when it slips under the shield of his umbrella and dampens the hem of his jeans.
That’s how he manages to see it. There’s a flicker of movement in the corner of his eye, the curve of a black tail, and Sanghyeon follows it into an alley.
There, seeking shelter under a dumpster, is the same pitch black cat he’d seen last time. This time the cat is soaked through, fur glossy with rain and those same golden eyes less alert and more defeated. It blinks slowly up at Sanghyeon, quivering with cold, and his heart breaks.
“Okay, this time, you’re coming with me.” He squats down, balancing the umbrella on his shoulder so he can reach down and scoop it up. It shows no sign of resistance, letting itself be cradled and tucked under Sanghyeon’s jacket. “Just hold on a little bit longer, okay?”
He rushes back home, feet tapping impatiently as he waits for the elevator, then hurries inside his apartment. He sets the cat down in the bathroom and grabs the nearest towel to bundle it in.
It’s still shivering, and Sanghyeon frets about, running a warm bath and finding as many towels and spare clothes as he can to swathe it in until only its nose is poking out.
A while later, it’s clean and drier and a lot more responsive, managing to slink away from his fifth attempt at towelling it off and out of the bathroom. Sanghyeon follows, still holding onto the towel, like the cat butler he was back at his parents’ house.
“Come on, let me dry you properly or you’ll be cold.”
In response, it shakes its head vigorously, flinging specks of water on the hardwood floors.
“Alright, alright.”
What a stubborn cat, he thinks, watching it survey his living room.
The rain is still hammering on the windows, the world outside painted a bleak grey, and it crosses over to the living room and curls up on the shaggy white carpet to watch.
“You must be hungry,” Sanghyeon muses, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. “Let’s see…aha! I knew had some in here somewhere.”
He takes out a can of tuna and finds a small bowl to fill with water, careful not to spill a drop as he walks over to the living room and places them on the floor.
“You should eat something.” The cat turns to look at him, glances at the food and then back to the window. “Come on kitty, I know you’re hungry. It’s tasty, I promise.” He holds it aloft, wiggling it about in hopes the smell will lure it closer.
“Fine.” Sanghyeon sets it down and stands up. “I’ll leave it there and it’s up to you if you eat it.”
He really needs to get out of his clothes soon anyway, he’s the one trailing more rainwater around at this point. After a quick shower and change of clothes, he walks out with his own stomach signalling he needs to eat soon.
“Kitty! You’re eating!” In his excitement he rushes too quickly over to where the cat is lapping at its water, half of the tuna already gone, and it flinches, almost knocking the bowl over.
“Sorry,” he whispers, squatting down a few feet away to give it space. He takes out his phone to order food and discreetly take a few photos as the cat resumes its meal. Every so often he’ll creep a little closer and it will send him a pointed look, but it doesn’t run away.
Sanghyeon gets a bit more comfortable, sitting down on the edge of the carpet with his knees pulled up to his chest, content just to watch it. He misses his cat back at home, a pure white ragdoll cat that is the complete opposite of this skinny black creature that still seems suspicious of Sanghyeon’s every move.
Eventually Sanghyeon holds out what he hopes is a non-threatening hand, asking for permission to pet it. It’s probably his imagination but the cat seems to sigh before it reluctantly leans its head against Sanghyeon’s knuckles, nudging his fingers with its forehead.
Sanghyeon represses the urge to squeal as he runs a hand along its back, relishing in the feeling of soft fur under his fingers. Although he'd insisted on living alone for university, it could get lonely when he was used to a lively household of people and animals alike.
If he remembers correctly, there wasn’t anything in the lease about pets not being allowed, maybe he can keep it.
“Now that we’ve met twice, should I give you a name?”
Stroking its head, he thinks for a minute. “How about Lucky? After I found you the first time, I had a really good day. And isn’t it lucky that I managed to find you again? Maybe we’re meant to be.” He scritches along its chin, and its eyes close in contentment. “What do you think? Do you like it?”
It regards him sleepily, seemingly relaxed from all the petting, and Sanghyeon takes that as a yes.
They spend the rest of the evening on the sofa watching some reality show that’s been popular recently. The rain shows no sign of letting up, but with his dinner balanced on his lap and Lucky curled up beside him, he couldn’t be happier.
When he finishes brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed, he walks into his room to find Lucky already curled atop his bed, eyes closed and tail tucked to form the perfect crescent shape. Sanghyeon reaches for his phone as quietly as he can to snap some more pictures.
“Good night, Lucky.” He turns off the lamp and crawls into bed around where Lucky is laying, careful not to tug on the covers and disturb him.
Sanghyeon drifts off to the sound of rain outside and the warmth of Lucky snuggled beside him, the events of the day taking their toll on him. He dreams hazily of singing to crowds of people that swim and morph before his vision, of grey skies and blue clouds, and of Chuei Liyu. In his dream he’s so real he can almost reach out and touch him, features shadowed in the faint moonlight and so close they send his heart racing.
When he wakes, Lucky is gone.
He hardly has time to ponder how Lucky could have gotten out, in his hurry to get to his morning class. He’d slept so well he hadn’t even heard his first alarm ring, and as he grabs his bag he casts one last look at the apartment.
There’s hardly a trace of the cat, except for the two empty bowls he forgot to put away last night.
It must have been frustrating for a stray cat to be stuck inside, he reasons.
After class, Sanghyeon races up to the music clubroom to find Haneum and a few juniors hanging around, sharing snacks and watching back yesterday’s performance on someone’s laptop.
“Haneum-hyung,” Sanghyeon calls, barely noticing their greetings. “Have you seen Liyu-hyung?”
Haneum shakes his head. “I just saw his messages earlier. He’s probably not coming in today.”
Sanghyeon’s concerned messages hadn’t even been read, and if Haneum didn’t know anything than it was likely that no one else had heard from Liyu after he left yesterday either.
The only update had come in the form of a few messages sent on their club group chat earlier that morning.
Liyu-hyung: I’m really sorry for leaving last minute when we practised so much for yesterday’s show, but I knew you guys would do a good job even without me!
Liyu-hyung: I suddenly felt sick so I headed home, but don’t worry about me, I’ve just been resting
Liyu-hyung: btw I saw the vid on the forum front page and everyone did really well :)
“Sanghyeon, it looks like you’re the next star of our club! All the comments are asking about you.”
Someone turns the laptop in his direction and Sanghyeon sees his own face smiling back, his rap lines playing through the speakers.
“Oh, cool. Haneum-hyung, do you think I should go and check on Liyu-hyung? He’s probably still sick all on his own, what if he needs medicine but can’t go and get any?”
“Honestly, I’d love to go and help too, but I don’t know his address.”
("He's going viral on the campus forums and he doesn't even care?")
“Really? I figured if anyone knew, it would be you.”
("At least we might get our funding this way.")
“I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you this, but Liyu told me he’s had poor health since he was young,” Haneum explains. “I'm not sure exactly what condition he had, but I think his immune system is weak so he tends to get sick pretty often when it rains.
“That's why I try not to push him to go out if he's not up for it, or stay out late with us if he's tired. He doesn't talk about it much, but as long as he's doing okay, I'm happy he's setting his boundaries and taking care of his health. Usually he recovers quickly after a day of rest, though. I wouldn’t be too worried.”
“But, hyung…” Sanghyeon can’t get Liyu’s panicked expression out of his head. A simple flu wouldn’t make him that distressed, would it?
In the end, Sanghyeon can’t do anything else about it, and he heads home with Liyu still on his mind.
He’s fiddling with his phone, contemplating sending yet another text asking if he’s okay, when he finally gets a reply.
Liyu-hyung: Sorry for making you worry sanghyeon
Liyu-hyung: I’m doing okay now, i couldn’t reply cos i was sleeping a lot lol
Me: hyung do you need anything? medicine? porridge?
Me: i could bring some to you if ur not feeling well
Liyu-hyung: It’s okay
Liyu-hyung: I might still be infectious so i wouldn’t want to pass anything on to you
Liyu-hyung: Thanks for everything Sanghyeon, i really appreciate it
Sanghyeon frowns down at his phone. He can’t even do anything for him, and Liyu is still thanking him just for checking in on him. Chuei Liyu might just be an angel.
—
Following the excitement around the spring showcase, the semester starts piling on the work, and Sanghyeon finds he’s spending most of his time either cramped in a practice room or in the library working on assignments. Outside of his music classes, he also has compulsory electives, which mean he hasn’t quite escaped the horrors of essay-writing.
That day finds him in the library, looking for a quiet place to sit and catch up on two weeks worth of readings for the business class he’d thought was supposed to be easy.
Even amidst the many tables of students and laptops, his eyes manage to find one person. Sanghyeon hoists his bag further up his back and shuffles through the tables to reach him, muttering apologies under his breath as he walks over with a single-minded focus.
Sanghyeon sets his things down on the desk opposite him, making a show of glancing up and acting surprised.
“Oh, Liyu-hyung, you’re here too?”
Liyu looks up from his book, tilting his head in question when he realises who it is. Sanghyeon just beams and sits down.
“I’m here to study, so I won’t disturb you. Promise,” he says, opening his laptop. He means to, he really does, but it’s kind of hard to focus on economies of scale when the most beautiful boy on campus is sat in front of you.
Sanghyeon finds his gaze drawn to Liyu every few minutes, whenever his attention slips and the words in his textbook start making less sense. Liyu is sat with a novel in one hand, the other supporting his head as he leans on the table. There’s a notebook in front of him that he scribbles in every so often, lips pursed in thought while he writes.
Sanghyeon has been biting down the urge to talk to him this whole time, but when Liyu looks up and catches him staring, he gives in.
“What are you reading?” He blurts out a little too loudly for the quiet of the library, and ducks his head in apology when he gets a few glares.
Liyu stifles a laugh, then lifts the book to show the cover.
“Little Women,” he whispers, leaning forward slightly. “For my literature class.”
In his mind, Liyu suits art galleries and poetry books, so this is fitting. He likes the focused look in Liyu’s eyes when he reads or draws, his elegant posture and the tiny furrow in his brow as he concentrates. Evidently, Sanghyeon hasn’t gotten too much work done in the last half an hour.
“Do you want to go get lunch?” It’s Liyu asking this time, placing a bookmark carefully between the pages and closing his book. “It’ll be my treat.”
Nothing makes Sanghyeon’s eyes light up faster than the suggestion of food, and from Liyu it might just be the best news he’s ever heard in his life. He nods enthusiastically, closing his laptop all too quickly.
“Let’s go!”
The girl to his right shushes him, but Sanghyeon’s smile doesn’t falter for a second even as he’s saying sorry.
—
Over the first few weeks of summer, Liyu warms up like the weather.
It becomes a routine to meet at the library then go for lunch together. Liyu lets Sanghyeon drag him to the arcade, and Sanghyeon invites himself along when Liyu goes shopping for art supplies.
Rather than through rumours or overhearing chatter, Sanghyeon gets to learn about Liyu from their own conversations. He learns a lot about Liyu: his hometown in Taiwan, his favourite painters and his least favourite food, and his habit of scrunching his nose when he laughs. What he learns about himself is just how much he likes Chuei Liyu.
Beyond his pretty face is an even prettier heart, and even Sanghyeon can’t believe just how patient Liyu is with him. He isn’t unaware of the fact that he can be a bit clingy at times, but Liyu takes it all in stride. He plays along with Sanghyeon’s jokes, and replies with his own. If he’s busy on a day Sanghyeon wants to meet, he turns him down kindly without ever making Sanghyeon feel like too much.
It’s no wonder people call him the prince of BPU. Sanghyeon gets it, he really does.
The air conditioning in the music block finally gets fixed, and they spend afternoons cramped in practice rooms with Haneum playing piano and Woojin strumming his guitar and Sanghyeon coming up with ridiculous lyrics just to make Liyu laugh.
When Haneum and Woojin get into nerdy music talk that makes even Sanghyeon’s head spin, he’ll scoot closer to Liyu and share stupid videos and anime recommendations. It feels like he’s found another home in the company of these three, even sat on the uncomfortable practice room floor with Woojin’s long legs slung over their laps.
The idea of living independently for university doesn’t feel so daunting when he has people he knows he can rely on, from Haneum’s study tips to Woojin’s easy banter to Liyu’s soothing presence.
And there’s another welcome addition in his life.
He’s accepted by now that Lucky is a stray with no intentions of being tied down, but he seems to loiter around Sanghyeon’s apartment block more often these days. On rainy days it’s not uncommon for the cat to seek him out for shelter or just a treat, and he’ll find Lucky traipsing alongside him on his way home or taking cover under a nearby bench.
He’s let his defenses down around Sanghyeon, no longer shrinking away or scratching him when he tries to pick him up. So when Sanghyeon spots Lucky curled up next to a potted plant at his apartment entrance, he figures he’s been given permission to take him inside again.
Sanghyeon is in a particularly good mood today, and it only gets better with a lapful of fluffy cat.
“I can’t believe he even remembered my coffee order.” He sighs dreamily, absent-mindedly petting Lucky’s soft fur. “I was super energised during class, I don’t think I’d even need caffeine if I could just see him in the morning.”
Lucky tips his head to the side as if in question and Sanghyeon scoops him up until he’s at eye-level.
“Your eyes are so shiny.” A dopey smile breaks out on his face. “Just like his.”
Sanghyeon reclines fully on the couch, still holding the cat aloft above him.
“God, he’s so pretty.” He peers up at Lucky who’s watching him with puzzled eyes. “You don’t understand. He’s just so, so pretty. And it’s not just his face, or his voice, or…he’s just so, just so-”
Sanghyeon lets the cat land onto his chest with an ‘oof’ and drags his hands down his face.
“He’s so lovely. And I like the way he speaks and the way he laughs and I just like being around him. He makes me feel all warm and cozy, like I could tell him anything and he’d really listen. And when I manage to make him laugh it feels like… like I won the lottery or something.”
“You’d get it if you saw him,” Sanghyeon mumbles, resuming his pets. “Everyone does. God, trust me to go and have a crush on the most unattainable guy on campus.”
He groans, turning on to his side, and Lucky sinks his claws into the thin fabric of his shirt so as to not fall off as Sanghyeon shuffles underneath him.
“Is it hopeless? Do you think I’d even have a chance?”
Mindlessly brushing the back of his finger under Lucky's chin, Sanghyeon goes quiet for a moment.
“What kind of person does Liyu-hyung even like?”
His ministrations stop as he thinks it over, not noticing how Lucky has stilled on his chest.
The Liyu he’s gotten to know is kind and gentle, but with an unexpected playfulness that Sanghyeon does his level best to bring out in him. He’s hard-working and serious about the things he sets out to do, but always reminds Sanghyeon to take breaks when they study together and buys his favourite snacks to share during them.
That has to stand for something, right? But then again, maybe Liyu is just being nice. Has Liyu ever looked at him and found him handsome? Has Sanghyeon ever done something to make his heart flutter? Or is he just any other friend to Liyu, a persistent freshman who is never content to leave him alone, endearing but sometimes a bother?
“Maybe he prefers someone more mature,” Sanghyeon murmurs, “someone like Haneum-hyung.”
Haneum seems to be the person Liyu is closest with, and there’s an ease between them that he doesn’t have with anyone else. Sanghyeon is envious of the two years Haneum has on him, two years to learn more about Liyu and bond over their common interests, two years to become closer than Sanghyeon thinks he’ll ever be with him.
“Ah, I was doomed right from the start.” He sighs, pulling Lucky in for a cuddle, which he is surprisingly compliant with. “I guess it’s just gonna be me and you, buddy. At least you love me, don’t you?”
He pulls back and grins at the cat’s frazzled expression. “I know you do, you can’t lie.” Sanghyeon peppers Lucky’s fluffy head with kisses. If there’s two new faces he’s glad to have met this semester, it’s Liyu and this adorable fluffball.
He’ll say Woojin comes in a close third.
—
Exam season passes by in a blur of afternoon library visits and late-night song-writing sessions. After Sanghyeon submits his last composition, he finally turns on his notifications to a bombardment of messages from the music club groupchat.
They’re planning a summer trip and asking for ideas, since they’re all on a student budget but itching for some freedom.
Haneum-hyung: yh sure woojin, japan trip with what money?
Haneum-hyung: if we use the extra funds we got for a holiday the student union will have my head
Idiot Woojin: but hyung didn’t mnet pay you for that show you did last yr
Haneum-hyung: my sweet summer child
Haneum-hyung: the entertainment industry will chew you up and spit you out and make YOU pay for it
Idiot Woojin: (°□°;)
Me: yo guys my grandma’s got a really nice house in busan, do u wanna go there?
Idiot Woojin: ooh im down
Leejeong-hyung: Sounds good to me
Haneum-hyung: is there enough space for all of us?
With the help of Haneum’s organisational skills, they manage to make a plan for their trip. Sanghyeon’s grandma is planning to come up to Seoul to see friends anyway, so they’ll have the whole house to themselves for a weekend.
Me: liyu-hyung~~~
Me: are you coming with us?
❤️Liyu-hyung❤️: ?
Me: summer vacation in busan, my grandma’s place
Me: it’s super nice, i used to love going there as a kid
Me: check the group chat
A few minutes go by with no response, and Sanghyeon waits impatiently, thinking of all the best spots they could visit together. He imagines strolling along the beach with Liyu beside him, the waves glittering golden at sunset. Their hands would brush as they walked along, but they wouldn’t say anything, just listening to the calming sounds of the ocean. But eventually Sanghyeon would gather the courage to finally take his hand, and Liyu would turn to him, the sea breeze ruffling his hair. Their eyes would meet and then- Sanghyeon’s phone pings.
❤️Liyu-hyung❤️: Sorry, I don’t know if I can make it
❤️Liyu-hyung❤️: It sounds fun though, you guys can go on without me
Me: why not hyung? we can change the dates if u want
Me: it won’t be fun if ur not there (╥_╥)
❤️Liyu-hyung❤️: I
❤️Liyu-hyung❤️: Might be busy over summer
❤️Liyu-hyung❤️: Don’t worry about me, you should go ahead and plan
Me: hyung i’ll buy your train ticket
Me: I’ll let you have the big guest room all to yourself
Me: i’ll take you to this really nice spot by the ocean
Me: so you have to come with us
Me: please??
Me: 🥺
Sanghyeon watches the bubble indicating Liyu is typing appear and disappear with bated breath.
❤️Liyu-hyung❤️: Okay
❤️Liyu-hyung❤️: I’ll come
Sanghyeon drops his phone in his excitement and punches his fist in the air.
Maybe this trip will be the perfect chance for him to confess.
Over the few days leading up to their trip, Sanghyeon is on cloud nine, and when he finally sees Liyu that morning at the train station he smiles so wide his cheeks hurt.
He’s dressed in shorts and a simple shirt, appropriate for the blazing weather and their planned beach outing.
“Let’s sit together, hyung,” Sanghyeon says, subtly standing between him and Haneum in his bid for the coveted position. “I brought snacks and cards and, oh, I made you a playlist of songs I thought you’d like. We can share earphones, do you want to listen?”
“You couldn’t be more obvious if you tried,” Woojin mutters as he passes them. When Liyu turns his back, Sanghyeon gives Woojin the finger.
As they pull out out of the station, Sanghyeon notices Liyu casting a worried glance out of the window.
“Are you okay, hyung? You didn't feel pressured to come because of us, did you? If you need anything you can always let me know.”
Liyu shakes his head.
“It's nothing like that. I'm really excited, it's my first time going on a trip like this.”
“Really, you never went on one with the others before?”
“Last year I was busy with a part-time job, and then before that I wasn't very close with anyone yet.”
“Then we have to make sure you have a really good time,” Sanghyeon beams. “There’s this special spot I can show you later, I used to go there all the time as a kid. It has the most gorgeous view of the sea.”
Liyu lets Sanghyeon ramble for much of the train journey, stopping only for snack breaks and to squabble with Woojin for kicking his chair. Connected by the wire of his earphones, Liyu just smiles fondly at him.
They arrive a little before noon, making a quick stop to drop off their belongings before finally stretching their legs by the sunny Busan seaside.
Already full of snacks from the journey and energised by the view of the sea, Sanghyeon races Woojin down the beach, nearly tripping over each other as they go.
They strip off their shoes and socks and splash around in the sea, raising a whirlpool of water around them.
Liyu and Haneum decide to relax, setting out towels and parasols to shield from the sun, and some of the others head out to buy snacks or join them playing in the ocean.
For a while, they leave them be. But an hour later and the two hyungs are lying down, Haneum with sunglasses covering his face and Liyu with a book, and Sanghyeon won't stand for it.
He leaves Woojin and treads across the sand towards them.
“Come on, we're at the beach. There's no way you're both just going to sit here and let it go to waste.“
Without warning Sanghyeon bends down and grabs Liyu by the ankles, pulling him out from under the shade. He yelps in protest, but Sanghyeon is almost 6ft of energy and a surprising amount of muscle, and this time he reaches for Liyu's hand to pull him to his feet.
“It's the sea, hyung! Let's go!”
Liyu's wrist is delicate in Sanghyeon's grip as he pulls him along in the direction of the sea, and normally Sanghyeon would treat him with nothing but reverent care, but he figures a bit of mischief never hurt anybody. As they approach the shoreline, Liyu’s steps falter and they both slow their pace, but Sanghyeon gives one last tug and they both go stumbling into the water, Liyu almost toppling over as he scrambles to hold onto Sanghyeon for balance.
Woojin laughs at them both, already prepared to splash them both squarely in the face with water, and soon all three are engaged in a rather intense water fight.
“Hold on guys,” Liyu says breathlessly. There's a twinkle of mischief in his eye too as he turns his gaze to the sand, where Haneum is sprawled out without a care in the world. “There's someone we’re missing.”
Woojin grins. “I like the way you think, hyung.”
He and Sanghyeon exchange a nod, before they’re sprinting back up to the beach, kicking up water in their wake.
“Haneum-hyung, we're coming for you!”
Eventually they tire of playing in the sea, their clothes thoroughly drenched, and Sanghyeon and Liyu decide to dry off with a walk to the nearest convenience store for ice cream and drinks. They’d come to a lesser-known beach at Sanghyeon’s recommendation to avoid the main tourist crowds, so the route is less convenient, taking them up along a winding road.
If Sanghyeon squints through the line of towering trees on their left, he can just make out the figures of the others, still splashing around in the water. But here, they’re in the own little world, the sounds of the waves and beachgoers reduced to distant background noise.
They traded their sneakers for flip-flops long ago, the uneven patter of their footsteps echoing on the asphalt as they walk side by side. Liyu is humming to himself, one of the songs from Sanghyeon’s playlist, and Sanghyeon bites his lip to keep from smiling too hard. The summer heat is sweltering and the air humid and heavy, and yet Sanghyeon wouldn’t ask for anything else in the world.
They come up on a short brick wall along the road, just up to knee height, and Sanghyeon steps up on to it like he used to love doing as a child, holding his arms out to keep balance.
“Be careful,” Liyu warns, taking one of Sanghyeon’s hands.
Sanghyeon beams as Liyu slows his pace to match him, keeping him steady as he tiptoes along.
“I swear, sometimes you and Woojin are like overgrown kids.”
Sanghyeon comes to a stop, and Liyu turns to face him, hands still connected. When Sanghyeon steps down from the wall in front of him, he’s pleased to see that he’s got a few centimetres on him. He squares his shoulders to make sure Liyu is looking up at him.
“I’m not a kid," Sanghyeon says, holding Liyu's gaze firmly. "I’m a man.”
With only a breath of distance between them, Liyu can’t avoid him now. There’s no more excuses here, no places to rush off to, and no way to dismiss Sanghyeon’s words as a joke.
He’s not quite sure what he wants to say, but he wants Liyu to know how he feels. Wants Liyu to see him as he is, without this distance that has felt so difficult to close. Wants to be his equal, his partner, or at least a contender.
“Hyung, I-”
A drop of water falls on his cheek, and by the time Sanghyeon looks up in question the sky has opened up and rain is falling on them like bullets. A cloudburst, not untypical for this late in June, has them dripping wet in just a few moments. Without time to think, Sanghyeon pulls Liyu along as they both sprint for cover.
Sanghyeon raises his other arm up to shield his eyes, and in the distance he can make out a bus stop along the road, its wooden roof their only hope of shelter. He points at it, and looks back to signal to Liyu where they’re headed.
Except when he turns around Liyu is gone.
The hand he’d been holding is empty, grasping at nothing but air and falling rain. The road is deserted, the sounds of other life drowned out by the incessant downpour.
In the place where Liyu once stood, there sits a black cat. Its familiar golden eyes are wide as it looks at Sanghyeon, before it turns and darts away.
“Hyung!” Sanghyeon shouts over the rain, because somehow he knows. “Come back!”
Sanghyeon follows, flip flops loose and weighed down with water, until he’s stumbling barefoot down the road at full speed. “Wait!” The cat turns at his call, and that’s just enough time for Sanghyeon to scoop him up in his arms.
He doesn’t stop running until they reach the bus stop, ducking under the wooden eaves and collapsing onto the bench to finally catch his breath. The rain continues to beat on the pavement around them, but for now they’ve found a tiny pocket of stillness. Tucked under his shirt, Lucky regards him silently.
“You’re not going to run off again, are you?” Sanghyeon asks, looking down at him.
Lucky (or is it Liyu?) seems to nod, and Sanghyeon lets him jump out and onto the bench beside him. He curls his tail around himself and sinks down into a ball, not meeting Sanghyeon’s curious gaze.
“Is it really you, hyung? That’s the only explanation, that you just turned into a cat. But how does that even work? Are you like a wizard? Or a shape-shifter, or a god or something? This whole time, Lucky was you?”
Adrenalin is still coursing through Sanghyeon’s veins, but he finds rather than fear or bewilderment he’s filled with wonder. He thought he’d figured out most of the mystery behind Chuei Liyu, but now he’s received a central piece he didn’t even know he’d been missing. Weirdly, everything starts to make sense now.
The reason that Liyu often left early, and the long periods in which he’d be unavailable, not even reading his messages. The umbrella Sanghyeon didn’t think he’d get back. The familiarity in Lucky’s eyes, the way the cat seemed at times to understand exactly what Sanghyeon was saying.
Wait, did that mean this whole time, when Sanghyeon had been talking to Lucky about his crush on Liyu, he’d been confessing everything straight to the person himself?
Sanghyeon buries his face in his hands.
“Hyung,” he says, voice muffled. “You can’t speak while you’re a cat, can you?”
Lucky gives a weak meow in response.
“But you can understand everything I’m saying. So you probably remember everything I said about you…” Sanghyeon groans. “This really isn’t how I wanted this to go.”
Lucky pads over to him and sets a paw on his thigh, in what he thinks might be a comforting gesture. Instinctually, Sanghyeon strokes the top of the cat’s head. He’s still having trouble connecting the dots that this isn’t just the stray cat he’s grown fond of but also the person he’s fallen for.
With a surprising lack of resistance, Lucky lets himself be picked up until Sanghyeon is holding him at eye level. He stares at the cat, looking for similarities with the person he’d been with minutes earlier. What if Liyu just ran off in the midst of the downpour and Sanghyeon was freaking out over what was truly a random cat on the street?
Suddenly, as quickly as it had started, the rain stops.
The noise dies down in a matter of seconds and once again the world falls silent around them. In Sanghyeon’s grip is no longer a cat, but a human.
The hands that were holding Lucky up by around his fluffy stomach are now low on Liyu’s waist, fingers pressed into the fabric of his shirt. Sanghyeon’s jaw drops open and he pulls away like he’s been scalded. When he looks up in disbelief, Liyu dodges his gaze.
“It’s really you,” Sanghyeon breathes.
He can only stare as Liyu walks over to sit beside him on the bench.
“You must have been shocked. A person turning into a cat, I wouldn’t believe it either.” Liyu looks down at his feet.
“I do have a lot of questions,” Sanghyeon agrees. “Can you explain everything to me?”
Liyu glances at him from under rain-damp bangs, then back to the ground. There’s a single yellow dandelion growing out from a crack in the pavement, its drooping leaves glistening with raindrops.
“I don’t remember when it started, but I was still really young. My parents said that the first time I transformed they cried all day thinking I would never change back. When I did, they brought me to a local shaman to figure out what was wrong with me.
“According to her, I was born on a cursed day, tied to a cat spirit. In the legend of the 12 zodiac animals, the animals were assigned a year in the order that they crossed the river to reach the emperor. But the Cat never made it — he was pushed off the Ox’s back by the Rat and drowned, never reaching the other side. Apparently that’s why cats have an aversion to water,” Liyu explains, craning his neck to peer up at the sky. The grey clouds are retreating quickly, a brilliant blue stretching out over them once again.
“And maybe that’s why I turn into a cat whenever it rains. Even if I’m touched by just a few drops of rain, I transform. Nothing happens if I stay dry indoors, but otherwise I have to wait until the rain stops to change back.
“So my parents would forbid me from going outside when the weather was bad. They were scared I’d change, and then get lost or hurt. But as a child I didn’t understand why I couldn’t go out and play with the kids, so sometimes I’d just run outside and get caught in the rain.
“Eventually rumours spread in our town, and everyone labelled our household as cursed. There was an awful typhoon one year, and the local river flooded and destroyed a lot of homes. Everyone thought it was caused by me, that I was a bad omen. Maybe I am." His voice catches, and Sanghyeon watches Liyu swallow around the lump in his throat and continue. "My mom had already quit her job to watch over me, and then dad’s business fell through. The other kids wouldn’t even dare talk to me at school anyway, so we moved. We left Taiwan and came to Korea because my parents heard that there might be a shaman here who could help me.”
Liyu speaks so calmly, but Sanghyeon notices the way he’s trembling, fingers digging into the wood of the bench hard enough to leave splinters. Sanghyeon places a hand over his, thumb drawing soothing circles on his skin.
“We lived in the countryside, and pretended that I came here because of my poor health. My parents told me I should keep my condition a secret, and they homeschooled me until I was old enough to know how to hide it better. They never stopped searching for a way to lift this curse, but nothing ever worked. At this point, I’ve just accepted that I’ll be this way for life.
“Even so, I didn’t want to stay hidden away forever. It was always my dream to go to art school, so I defied my parents’ warnings and applied for one in Seoul. It’s been difficult hiding it from everyone, but I’m glad I took the risk.” Finally, there’s a small smile on Liyu’s lips, though it’s tinged with sorrow. “Or I never would have met all of you. I didn’t ever think I’d be able to live a normal life like this.”
Sanghyeon’s heart aches at the thought of Liyu struggling with this all alone, of someone so kind and loving being made to think everyone would be better off without him.
“It must have been hard keeping that all to yourself for so long.” Sanghyeon curls his fingers around Liyu’s. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.”
Liyu’s eyes are glassy and vulnerable as he looks at Sanghyeon. The affection he’d held for Liyu feels like it could it burst out of his chest. Sanghyeon had always been the baby of his family, the youngest of his friends, the troublemaker copying from his friends’ homework last minute. He wants, with a startling urgency, to be someone that Liyu can rely on. He wants to cross the years between them and replace the hurt from his past with happier memories. He wants to make Liyu smile again and be there to wipe his tears when they fall.
The name for this feeling, he’s beginning to realise, must be love.
“I’ll help you keep your secret," he vows. "I can cover for you if you transform suddenly, and when you do you can always come over to mine again until the rain stops.”
“Don’t you think it’s weird? I’m cursed, you know, aren’t you scared?”
“It is pretty weird, but it’s not scary. You make a very cute cat, hyung.”
Liyu chuckles at that, a hint of pink rising to his cheeks.
“But don’t you feel weird around me?” Sanghyeon asks hesitantly. “You heard what I said about you, so you know about my feelings. But you still agreed to come on this trip with us, isn’t it awkward for you?”
“I don’t mind. I mean, I don’t feel uncomfortable with you.” Liyu fidgets with the buttons of his shirt with his free hand. “And I’m grateful that you invited me. I’ve always wanted to go and see the ocean.”
If Liyu is telling the truth, then he overheard Sanghyeon practically confess to him as a cat, and yet he’s been okay with it all?
Does that mean Sanghyeon has a chance?
Before Sanghyeon can ask him about it, there’s a loud beep that cuts through the quiet.
They both whip their heads around at the sound, to see Haneum leaning out of the passenger window of a taxi.
“There you are! We’re heading back to the house before it rains again, get in!”
—
There’s hardly a moment for Sanghyeon to be alone with Liyu after that. They all change out of their wet clothes and then gather around to make dinner and watch movies, nestled over the sides of the couch and spilling onto the carpet.
Understandably, it’s been a long day, and with Liyu’s own confession hanging over them, Sanghyeon figures it would be better to bring his own feelings up at a later date. He’s already honoured that Liyu trusts him enough to confide in him.
The memory of Liyu’s teary eyes doesn’t leave him that night, and it takes a long time for him to fall asleep.
The next morning, Liyu is hesitant to go out in case there’s a repeat of yesterday’s freak downpour, so they come up with a plan.
From under the covers of the guest bed Sanghyeon had so promised him, Liyu lets out a feeble cough.
“I think Liyu-hyung came down with something after we got caught in the rain. I can stay and take care of him, so you should all go ahead without us.”
No one even questions why Sanghyeon is so enthusiastic at the idea of staying home with Liyu, already used to his clinginess, and entrust Liyu to his care.
“I would have been okay on my own,” Liyu says, once the house is empty. “You should have gone with everyone else.” They’re eating cereal in front of the TV, Sanghyeon’s feet up on the coffee table because there’s no one here to nag at him not to.
“It’s okay, I’d rather stay here and keep you company.” Now that Sanghyeon is listening to himself, his feelings have probably been pretty transparent from the start. He clears his throat. “But it’s a shame that we came all the way here and you can’t see the ocean like you wanted to.”
“I don’t mind, I already had a lot of fun yesterday.”
“Is there anything else you want to do? I’m pretty sure we have a bunch of board games, and maybe my old games console is around here somewhere.”
Liyu smiles, the soft kind that could melt hearts and stop wars.
“I don’t mind anything if it’s with you.”
“That’s really unfair.” Sanghyeon murmurs under his breath.
“Hm?”
Sanghyeon stands up abruptly from the couch with a new determination.
“Alright, hyung, you wait here. I’ll bring the ocean to you.”
Is what he said, but it’s a big ask and now he’s a little embarrassed at what he’s working with. Still, half an hour later he drags Liyu from the living room out to the back garden.
“Ta-dah!” Sanghyeon says with as much as excitement as he can muster.
Liyu is too polite to laugh, but he looks baffled.
After scouring the shed, Sanghyeon had found the inflatable pool he used to play in as a child and a dusty flamingo float he’d cleaned and set up. He could have sworn it was bigger, but now that it sits at their feet it’s very clearly a kiddie pool better suited for a nine year old Sanghyeon than a nineteen year old one. He’d dragged the two sun loungers closer so that they could dip their feet in the water while sitting, and he’d decided to cut into the watermelon they’d bought yesterday earlier than planned.
“It’s as much of the ocean as I could manage.” Sanghyeon says, sheepish.
Liyu chuckles at that. He happily sits down and slips off his shoes, beckoning Sanghyeon to join.
“It’s nice and refreshing,” he grins, kicking water up in Sanghyeon’s direction.
They sit splashing their feet in the water and eating watermelon, music playing quietly from Sanghyeon’s bluetooth speaker.
“Does anyone else know about your secret?”
Liyu shakes his head, cheeks full of fruit.
“Not even Haneum-hyung?”
“Since moving to Korea I haven’t told anyone.”
It makes Sanghyeon happy to have something that only he and Liyu share, but there’s a wistful expression on Liyu’s face.
“When my friends back in Taiwan found out…they didn’t react well. So I’ve kept it hidden all this time. It’s only normal to find it strange, so I couldn't blame them if they wanted to keep their distance. But these past few years I’ve been so happy I’m scared to lose that again…”
“Don’t worry, hyung. Your secret’s safe with me, I promise.” Sanghyeon extends a pinky finger in Liyu’s direction. “You know I’d never betray you.”
The reason why remains unsaid, but it’s probably obvious. It must be difficult for Liyu to open up like this, Sanghyeon doesn’t want to put any more pressure on him by getting his own feelings involved. It’s killing him to keep things ambiguous like this, but if Liyu will keep smiling he can pack up his feelings until some other time.
Liyu loops his own pinky around Sanghyeon’s, pulling him from his thoughts.
“I know, I trust you.”
The mood feels too heavy now for the laid-back hip hop Sanghyeon has playing. He needs to lighten the atmosphere somehow.
“Hey, watch this,” Sanghyeon says. He tips his head back and spits a single watermelon seed up in the air. It flies straight up and lands on his cheek, still stuck there when Sanghyeon looks back with a dopey smile.
“You look like an idiot,” Liyu remarks, and they both burst into laughter.
Sanghyeon could get addicted to this; the sun on his skin and the way Liyu’s laughter warms him from the inside out. He wishes he could save this moment and keep it forever, to come back to in the future whenever he’s feeling low. He just likes having Liyu by his side, and he hopes that isn’t too much to ask for.
Eventually though, he has to disturb the peace.
“Are you ready for the main course?”
Turning to him with an innocent curiosity, Liyu isn’t at all prepared for the stream of water that Sanghyeon aims at his chest.
“I found these in the shed too!” Sanghyeon brandishes two water guns, tossing one to Liyu before standing up. “Winner gets the last piece of watermelon!”
“Hey, that’s not fair!”
Liyu chases him around the garden, his aim surprisingly accurate. Sanghyeon does his best to dodge, making a show of rolling across the grass and ducking behind a tree, but within minutes he’s been shot in the back more times than he can count.
Sanghyeon holds his arms up. “Hold on, I need to reload. Truce?”
“You’re the one who shot me first.”
“Okay, okay, ah, wait-!”
He scampers away, his water gun now empty and useless, and spies his next plan of attack. In one fluid motion Sanghyeon picks up the hose he’d used to fill up the pool and yanks the tap to turn it on.
Water blasts out like a fountain, spraying everything around him. Liyu gasps and covers his face, but it’s too late. His entire shirt is soaked, and water drips down from his hair and all over the patio floor. Sanghyeon twists the tap back off, but there’s a glint in Liyu’s eye that tells Sanghyeon he might have gone a little far...
“Get back here right now!”
A while later, they’ve both discarded their weapons of choice and are lying down on the grass. Sanghyeon’s head is propped up on his arms as they stare up at the clouds, seeing shapes that just get more and more outlandish.
“That’s clearly a rabbit.”
“No, you see that bit is the beak. It looks way more like a bird.”
“Whatever you say,” Liyu concedes. He sits up with some effort, and brushes the grass from his arms. “I’m still all sticky from earlier. I think I’ll go inside and get changed. Are you coming?”
Sanghyeon thinks for a second, blinking up at him. “I’m fine. I’ll dry up in a minute anyway.”
“Yeah, that’s because someone didn’t completely soak you with the hose.”
“I already said I was sorry.” Sanghyeon whines, as Liyu sticks his tongue out at him. Maybe Sanghyeon is a bad influence, but he likes this Liyu a lot too. He likes Liyu thoughtful and composed, and he likes Liyu childish and teasing, and he likes him bright and smiling. There probably isn’t a side of him that Sanghyeon wouldn’t find loveable.
“I’ll head in first then, I need to dry my hair too.”
Sanghyeon hums his acknowledgement, closing his eyes.
“Don’t stay out too long, or you might actually catch a cold.”
He hears the patter of Liyu’s footsteps retreating and lets out a yawn. Sanghyeon is almost tempted to take a nap out here in the sun, but he resolved to give Liyu the most fun day he could, so he soon gets up and follows him inside.
While Liyu gets changed, Sanghyeon rummages through the living room cupboards for some board games to play.
He’s sprawled out on the carpet trying to fish out a fallen game piece from under the TV console when Liyu comes out from the bathroom.
“Oh hyung, I found a checkers board, do you wanna play?”
Sanghyeon turns to look at him, his arm still stuck under the cabinet, and his throat goes dry.
Liyu’s only other shirt was still drying from yesterday, so he’d borrowed one of Sanghyeon’s t-shirts. It’s big on him, since Sanghyeon usually likes an oversized fit, and the collar hangs loose, exposing the pale column of his neck and the shelf of his collar bones.
Unaware of his effect on Sanghyeon, Liyu pads across the living room and sits next to him on the floor.
“Sure, but what are you doing? Are you stuck?”
“No, I-” Sanghyeon yanks his arm out abruptly, emerging with a fistful of dust and one red checker piece in his grasp. “Got it.”
Liyu laughs, telling him to wash his hands, and Sanghyeon tries not to stare too hard as he walks over to the kitchen sink. From here, he can see Liyu bent over the drawer full of games, carefully arranging the pieces on the board. His hair is still slightly damp and there’s a small towel hanging around his neck. He looks comfortable and carefree, and to be doing so in Sanghyeon’s clothes does not bode well for Sanghyeon’s sanity.
When Sanghyeon returns to his side, there’s something other than a checkers board in his lap. It takes him a moment to recognise what it is, and then he’s letting out a groan.
“Where did you find that?”
Liyu is looking through a thick, leather-bound photo album, its pages containing all manner of embarrassing childhood memories.
“You were such a cute baby,” Liyu smiles, pointing out a photo of a baby Sanghyeon on his mother’s lap, lips shiny with drool and cheeks red. He reaches out to pinch at Sanghyeon’s cheeks, though they’ve lost much of their baby fat now, in spite of Sanghyeon’s feeble attempts at batting him away.
“Don’t,” Sanghyeon warns lowly.
Liyu turns the page to images of a childhood holiday, undeterred by Sanghyeon’s displeasure. A toddling Sanghyeon is posing at the same beach they’d visited yesterday, holding a small bucket and spade and grinning with only one front tooth.
“I definitely need to show this to everyone later.”
“Come on, let’s play games instead.”
“But this is the best entertainment I’ve found all weekend?”
Sanghyeon takes his words back. He likes a teasing Liyu considerably less than the others.
“Come on,” he whinges, pulling at his arm.
Nearing the end of the book the photos simply get worse, and Sanghyeon only needs to glimpse the middle school bowl cut he’d once sported before he’s trying to snatch the album from Liyu’s hands. However Liyu holds the photo album aloft and out of his reach, eyes fixed on the image Sanghyeon now wants to burn.
“Ah, hyung! Give it back!”
He makes a lunge for it, but he loses balance and then they’re both toppling over.
Liyu falls backwards onto the carpet with a muffled thump that makes Sanghyeon wince. Immediately he’s leaning over to check that he’s okay, but he freezes at the sight underneath him.
Liyu’s hair is splayed out in dark contrast to the carpet, the grey fabric of his (Sanghyeon’s) t-shirt riding up ever so slightly to reveal a sliver of pale skin at his waist. His eyes are wide, framed with long lashes that Sanghyeon has never seen from this close up.
Sanghyeon can’t help the way his gaze drops to Liyu’s lips, parted slightly with surprise, and then he’s all too aware of every point of contact between them. His fingers wrapped around Liyu’s slender wrist, his knee against Liyu’s thigh, the whisper of Liyu’s breath on his cheek.
The scent of watermelon and soap lingers on Liyu’s skin, and he can practically feel the way the air shifts between them.
At first, he thought he was alone in liking him. Sanghyeon was just one of many admirers, and Liyu was too kind to let him down. Then he’d somehow wormed his way into Liyu’s life, persistent no matter how many times Liyu slipped out of reach, and Liyu had never seemed to mind. They’re friends now, he’s certain of it, but if this is ordinary friendship, why is Liyu looking up at him like that?
“Hyung, I…”
All of a sudden, there’s a loud pounding on the door.
“Chung Sanghyeon! Open the door!”
They look at each other in shock, the tension between them snapping like elastic.
“Hurry up! I’m dying out here!”
Sanghyeon scrambles to get up, smoothing down his clothes. He can’t look Liyu in the eye.
“I’ll go get the door.”
Sanghyeon opens the door to a distressed Woojin, his tall figure hunched over in discomfort.
“Oh thank god, dude. I gotta use the bathroom.”
He pushes past him, barely acknowledging Liyu as he speedwalks over to the bathroom and clicks it locked behind him.
“You good?” Sanghyeon asks warily, not sure if he even wants to know the answer.
“Forgot I was lactose intolerant.” Woojin calls through the door. “We went for ice cream.”
“Ah.”
Liyu and Sanghyeon exchange a glance, and then have to bring their hands to their mouth to stifle their giggles.
“Let’s leave him to it.”
They sit down a little stiffly on the carpet to play board games, neither of them daring to bring up what happened earlier. Sanghyeon pastes on his usual smile and they joke like nothing’s amiss, even though he can still remember the feeling of Liyu’s pulse under his fingertips.
Woojin joins them a while later, and they’re far too invested in a game of Clue when the others arrive with bags laden with groceries and their clothes still damp with seawater, already excited for dinner.
By the time they’re all changed and sat by the barbecue, the sky is growing dark, the last streaks of sunlight burning like embers on the horizon.
Haneum takes charge of grilling the meat, and the younger members take it in turns to feed him his share while he’s cooking. Well, most of them.
“Sajang-nim, can you hurry up? We’re starving over here!” Sanghyeon calls, holding up his empty plate.
“You ungrateful brat, you’re not getting any. Woojin-ah, you take his share.”
Undoubtedly this results in a squabble over the table, Woojin swatting Sanghyeon’s chopsticks away from his plate.
“Hyung! Get him away from me!” Woojin stands up, holding his plate out of Sanghyeon’s reach, and everyone just laughs as they chase each other around the table.
They bicker and play fight and eventually settle on playing rock paper scissors between each mouthful to decide who gets the next.
“You’re so childish,” Woojin says, but he’s also lost the last four rounds, so Sanghyeon just turns his nose up at him.
“Sucks to suck.”
When Sanghyeon wins for the fifth time, Woojin looks ready to brawl again, so Liyu steps in, putting a placating hand on Woojin’s arm and guiding him back to the table.
“Here, you can have some of mine.”
Woojin beams, looking like the youngest child who’s snitched on their siblings and gotten away scot-free. While Liyu is transferring food from his own plate, Woojin sticks out his tongue at Sanghyeon over his shoulder.
“Liyu-hyung,” Sanghyeon whines, dragging his seat next to him to complain. “I thought I was your favourite.”
“Who said anything about that?” Liyu asks, smile innocent.
“Hyung!”
Once they’re all full and sleepy, either from the food or the constant arguing, they light a small bonfire and Woojin rushes indoors to fetch his guitar.
“I can’t believe he brought that thing all the way down to Busan,” Sanghyeon grumbles, turning to Liyu. The others are sat around the fire, busy talking and telling stories, and no doubt Woojin and Haneum would soon turn this into an impromptu sing-along. Sanghyeon leans in closer, lowering his voice so only Liyu can hear. He still hasn’t given up on his mission of giving Liyu an enjoyable trip. “Wanna get out of here?”
“Where do you want to go?”
Sanghyeon grins. “I told you, I know a place.”
They slip out mostly unnoticed while Woojin starts strumming along to some Oasis song Sanghyeon faintly recognises, and even though no one tries to stop them Sanghyeon takes Liyu’s hand and hurries along the garden path around to the back gate.
It’s more overgrown than he remembered as a child, but he used to walk this route every summer he came back here. It had been his grandfather that showed it to him first, back when he was small enough that the trees looked like they stretched into forever and he was terrified the ocean would take him away. Now he traces the familiar steps into the woods, guided by the light of his phone and memories of childhood adventures.
“If we head up a bit, there’s this really nice view I wanted to show you,” Sanghyeon explains. Liyu’s hand is still warm in his, and he leads him carefully over gnarled tree roots and jagged rocks.
“You sure you’re not taking me out here to murder me?”
“I would never,” Sanghyeon answers. “Your safety and wellbeing are my top priority.”
Liyu is about to say something in reply when he stumbles, and Sanghyeon has to turn and reach out with his other arm to steady him. As his hand finds Liyu’s waist the light from his phone goes with it, and their surroundings turn dark as they stand there, pressed chest to chest.
“Are you okay?” Sanghyeon breathes.
Liyu nods, silent. Neither make to move, and Sanghyeon feels his stomach twist.
In the quiet, all Sanghyeon can hear is the quickening pace of his own heartbeat, thrumming in his chest and crowding out his more rational thoughts. Liyu’s eyes go a little cross-eyed as he looks up at him from this close, the moon reflected in his irises like pearls. His teeth peek out to bite at his bottom lip, an almost imperceptible nervous habit, but Sanghyeon’s mind catches on the movement like the needle of a broken record player.
Unconsciously, he starts to lean forward, but the shift in weight makes a branch snap underfoot, and he jerks back, the moment broken.
They spring apart, and Sanghyeon smooths down his jacket with his now free hand. He turns his phone around to check on the flashlight and nearly blinds himself in the process.
“Um, okay,” he starts, blinking as coloured blobs dance across his vision. He can’t see Liyu’s expression like this, but maybe that’s for the better. “It’s this way, a bit further and then we’ll get there.” He gestures vaguely in front of them. “Just follow me.”
The walk the last few minutes in comfortable silence, the sounds of cicadas and the distant shush of the ocean guiding their way.
“Okay, be careful here.” Sanghyeon holds out his hand again and they step off the dirt path and through a narrow gap in the bushes.
Liyu looks apprehensive, but Sanghyeon gives his hand a squeeze and they clamber over a fallen tree log and out of the dense woods.
“I hope you’re not too scared of heights.”
Leaving the trees behind, they come up to the edge of the cliff and the ocean opens up before them, stretching far out into the horizon. Unobscured by clouds, the moon is a beacon illuminating the dark water below. Stars litter the sky above them, their reflections dancing a shimmering waltz on the surface of the water.
“Wow…”
There’s a large shelf of grey rock extending from the cliff’s edge where Sanghyeon’s grandpa used to take him stargazing, setting up a telescope and pointing out all the constellations he could find.
Now he tugs Liyu along to sit down beside him, stretching his legs out long and looking up at the night sky.
Liyu pulls his legs into his chest and peers out over the ocean, clutching onto Sanghyeon tightly.
“Isn’t this a bit dangerous?”
“As long as we don’t go out too far we’ll be fine. I used to come out here all the time when I was younger.”
Liyu still seems a little anxious but he leans into Sanghyeon and relaxes a fraction. His gaze is fixed on the sea, mesmerised.
Sanghyeon rests his other hand on the rock behind him, marvelling at the canopy of stars above them. He can’t help but steal glances at Liyu in his peripheral, not when he’s so pretty and so close to him.
If there was ever something called perfect timing, it would be right now. The night is picturesque, there’s no one else here to disturb them, and Liyu is beside him holding his hand. If he doesn’t say something now, Sanghyeon might explode.
Doubt still creeps into his mind, but if he gets rejected right now at least they’re heading home tomorrow morning.
“Hyung, can I kiss you?”
Liyu whips around to face him with a flustered sound. They’re sat hip to hip, intertwined hands resting on Sanghyeon’s thigh, and when he turns they’re already far too close.
Sanghyeon isn’t entirely sure how to do this, but he’s watched enough movies to get the gist of it. He tilts his head slightly and leans in, eyes drawing shut in the hopes that Liyu will meet him in the middle.
“Wait!”
Sanghyeon’s lips meet the soft skin of Liyu’s palm, and he blinks his eyes open.
“Mmf?”
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Sanghyeon’s heart plummets 500 feet off the side of the precipice, to be dashed against the jagged rocks and lost forever at sea.
“Oh.”
“It’s not that I don’t like you too,” Liyu starts, and Sanghyeon digs his hopeful heart up from the depths of the ocean and puts it back in his chest. “But I don’t think it’s fair to you. We can’t be a normal couple when I’m like this, and I’m scared… I’m scared I’ll make you miserable too.”
He’s still caught on the first sentence, so Sanghyeon takes a moment to process.
“It’s okay, hyung. I don’t care about that kind of stuff. I don’t even get scared by ghost stories or haunted houses, what’s a curse going to do to me?”
He’s trying to lighten the mood but it’s the wrong thing to say. The look in Liyu’s eyes is distant, and the last thing he wants is to drive him away after everything they’ve been through together. Sanghyeon turns so he can face him properly, taking Liyu’s hand in both of his.
“Meeting you has only made me happier. You’ve always been there to hear me out and encourage me when I didn’t think I was good enough, and I always have fun when we’re together." He runs his thumb across Liyu's knuckles in a soothing gesture. "You don’t make people miserable at all, just ask Haneum and Woojin. So don’t say things like that. I don’t know the specifics about your curse, and I might not be able to help much... but you could turn into a worm and I’d still like you.”
Liyu gives a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“If we date, we won’t be able to go out together that often,” he says. “In the rainy season I just stay at home all day, and when I’m in my cat form I can’t even contact you or let you know where I am…”
“It’s okay, hyung! It’s not going to be rainy everyday. I always check the weather in the mornings, so on sunny days we can go out, and when it rains we can stay indoors. I don’t mind where we are, as long as you’re there.”
Liyu shakes his head. “You’ll get tired of it eventually. It’s been hard even for my parents to deal with. That’s why I didn’t want to burden anyone with it.”
“But it’s easier with both of us, right? It’s not a burden if I want to carry it with you.” Sanghyeon waits for Liyu to look at him before he speaks. He wants him to know he’s serious. “If you like me too, then I want you to choose what your heart wants, not what some curse thinks you deserve.”
There are tears gathering on Liyu’s lower lashes, glittering like stars. Sanghyeon frets, ready to apologise for making him cry, but Liyu cuts him off with a nod.
“Okay,” Liyu says softly.
“Okay?”
“Okay, you can kiss me.”
Oh. Sanghyeon’s heart soars, taking a leap right off the cliff and into the sky. He tries to reel it in.
“If you really don’t want to, you can push me away.”
By some miracle his voice is calm, but Sanghyeon’s palms are sweaty as he closes the distance between them. It’s the chastest of kisses, because this is a first for him and he’s too nervous to try anything else.
Sanghyeon pulls away slowly, letting go of Liyu to subtly wipe his hands on his shorts. His heart is stuttering in his chest. Half of it is from fear that the kiss was awful and that Liyu is going to change his mind, but then Liyu tugs him back in by the front of his shirt and they’re kissing in earnest.
They spend a second figuring out the right angle, and then Liyu is pressing forward into his space, fingers curling into Sanghyeon’s shirt with his palm placed right above his heart. Sanghyeon raises a hand to cup Liyu’s jaw, thumb caressing lightly along his cheekbone. He hopes Liyu can’t feel the way he’s trembling.
He squeezes his eyes shut and the world narrows to the sensation of Liyu’s lips, his quivering breath, his skin warm under his fingertips. Liyu tastes sweet with the tang of the lemonade he’d been drinking earlier, and the soft floral scent of his perfume fills Sanghyeon’s senses.
They kiss until they run out of air, and then they’re both ducking their heads away in embarrassment. The night breeze is cool against Sanghyeon’s flushed cheeks, and he dares to look over at Liyu.
“Was that okay?”
Liyu makes another small sound at the back of his throat.
“Because it was my first kiss, so I didn’t really know what I was doing.” Sanghyeon rambles on, trying to save face and probably losing more of it. “But I’ll get better if we, you know, do it again. So next time I won’t be as bad at it.”
God, he really needs to learn to keep his mouth shut sometimes.
Liyu is playing with Sanghyeon’s fingers distractedly in his lap. “Actually, that was my first kiss too,” he admits in a small voice.
“Really? I thought you’d have a whole line of people hoping to kiss you.”
“Even if I did, I wouldn’t kiss just anyone. But it’s you so…”
Sanghyeon drops his head to Liyu’s shoulder to hide the smile stretching across his face. Liyu tenses for a moment, before he resumes his motions. Liyu’s hands are big and warm and Sanghyeon wants to hold them forever.
He sits up abruptly, almost headbutting Liyu in the chin.
“Liyu-hyung, I really like you. I’ll do my best to take care of you from now on, whatever form you're in. I won’t ever do anything to upset you, I'll keep all my promises to you and I'll never show up late for our dates. So will you be my boyfriend?”
He’s stunned into silence by Sanghyeon’s outburst, before his lips curve upwards.
“I like you too.” Liyu’s smile is watery-eyed but no less beautiful. “If you’ll have me, I’d love to.”
Sanghyeon holds out his arms and Liyu melts into them, fitting perfectly like he belongs. With nothing but the peaceful sounds of nature echoing around them, he’d be content to stay here forever.
They remain like that until Sanghyeon feels his phone buzz in his back pocket.
“Everyone’s probably wondering where we’ve gone.”
“Ignore them,” Sanghyeon mumbles from where he’s tucked into Liyu’s neck.
“Are you planning to sleep out here?”
“Just a few more minutes.”
Sanghyeon’s words are ticklish against Liyu’s neck, and soon he’s laughing and trying to pry him off.
“Come on, we need to get up early tomorrow.”
“You’ll sit next to me on the train ride back, right?”
“Hm, but I promised Haneum I’d sit with him this time?.”
“Ah, hyung. Tell him you’re taken.”
Their voices resound through the woods as they head back, the way around them dark and a little scary, but hand in hand they’ll find their way through together.