Chapter Text
January 21st
I feel it again.
It's lurking. Waiting for me to become vulnerable to strike.
I really hoped I never had to pick up this diary ever again but it feels like I have no choice. Ever since that book, I've been having nightmares.
The feeling of being turned into paper is something I will never forget. I saw everything.
I felt everything. My skin becoming paper and slowly melting due to the water was the worst feeling I've ever had. I wanted to scream but nothing would come out. Only this overflowing sense of panic that grew bigger with each second to the point I couldn't even breathe properly…I felt like I was drowning…
I saw Prunella melting in front of me and I couldn't do anything to protect her.
Ever since that day I've been feeling less and less like myself. I try to hide it but it's not enough. If anyone sees me writing in this thing they'll know immediately what is happening.
I can't let them down again.
I can't make them see me like this again.
I won't let them.
January 23rd
My hands won't stop shaking.
I can't study, I can't text. Everything I do with my hands goes wrong.
I broke grandpa's favourite mug. The one grandma got him over 30 years ago. He said it was ok but I could see him trying not to tear up.
The shaking won't stop no matter how much I try.
January 24th
It happened again.
Thankfully I was alone in the house. I was looking for my phone charger when I felt it strike. My heartbeat quickened, my palms got sweaty and suddenly I couldn't feel my feet. I tried to hold on to the wall until I reached the bathroom. I felt so hot even though it's 40 degrees outside. My legs gave out as soon as I reached the toilet. I had to throw up. I wanted to throw up but nothing came out. Only tears as I desperately tried to get air. Once I finally calmed down and left the bathroom I came face to face with the clock. It had been an hour.