Chapter Text
“Sounds like you’ve had a rough time.”
“Others have had worse.”
“Not a fan of pity are you?”
“Is anyone?”
⋆˚꩜｡
“Hey, sweet pea.”
“Hey, Lee,” Clementine responded half-heartedly.
They were standing in the kitchen of their new house, a two-story (lord knows how Lee was able to afford it on a teacher’s salary). AJ was probably still asleep in his new room.
There were boxes scattered throughout the house, and right now Lee was working on unpacking one of the many boxes labeled ‘kitchen.’ Though, he was working a little slow, but that’s what having one arm will do to you.
Clementine hadn’t bothered to touch any of the boxes in her room — not that she could for the last two weeks, with three days being spent in the hospital on psychiatric hold and the other eleven rotting in her bed. Lee had at least unpacked the box that had her sheets and blanket in it; he knew that if he didn’t, Clementine probably would’ve just ended up sleeping on the bare mattress.
She didn’t like this house.
She missed the dent in Lee’s bedroom wall that she made, accidentally slamming his bedroom door open while preparing to wake him up on Christmas morning. She felt horrible about it when she saw Lee jump up in fear due to the noise. She got in trouble, but he wasn’t even mad — he just laughed and said they could fix it later.
He ended up fixing it himself when preparing to sell the house. Didn’t need any flaws bringing the property value down.
She missed the drawings that AJ had scribbled all over the wall of the living room. Lee definitely grounded him for that one. Clem thought the drawing was cute, but was finding a piece of paper to do it on that hard? Of course, AJ was four years old at the time, so the drawing was hard to make out. But she managed to decipher it as a family portrait of them. It had a striking resemblance to the one Lee hung on the wall near the TV.
She didn’t see that picture anywhere, yet. Lee was probably still unboxing it all.
Lee glanced at her with a hint of pity; she hated when he looked at her like that. He’s had that look in his eyes a lot more recently. Who cares about what happened two weeks ago? She didn’t want to think about it anymore.
Lee sensed her discomfort and thankfully moved on, though she wasn’t too happy about this topic, either.
“Did you look at that link I sent you? About Ericson’s?” Lee asked, bending down to put a pot in the cabinet nearest the blank, white fridge.
Oh boy — did she mention the only reason they moved to West Virginia was because of a job Lee was offered? Bet you can’t figure out what school offered that job!
Ericson’s had reached out after Lee started applying for high school teaching jobs rather than being a professor, seeing as none of the colleges were getting back to him.
Yeah, she wasn’t looking forward to that. Not that she didn’t love and appreciate Lee! But, you know, it’s just embarrassing having your teacher also be your dad. Her reputation was practically ruined before she even got to the school.
Clementine crossed the room towards the table that Lee had put back together the other evening. She didn’t even bother to help him, too busy feeling sorry for herself in her room. She pulled out one of the chairs and sat down, “Yeah, a little bit.”
“Define a little bit.”
“I clicked on it.”
“Right, well maybe try to scroll through it next time,” Lee grimaced and sighed, clearly feeling slightly annoyed, “I’m trying to help you here, Clementine.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, but could you start unpacking that other box by you?”
She knew what he was doing. When she got started on a small task it snowballed into a bigger one. Once she started unpacking that box she would just keep moving onto the next until they were all empty.
Well, a distraction would be nice.
⋆˚꩜｡
There was blood smeared all over the white tile of their bathroom. That’s all she could look at.
She heard Lee’s frantic voice on the phone with 911, but it felt like someone was covering her ears with their hands. She could faintly make out his next words.
“AJ, just…go in the living room and when the ambulance gets here lead them to us, okay? Can you do that?”
Oh god, he saw this.
What did she do?
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Two days until the start of junior year, and her first day at Ericson’s.
Clementine was used to moving around schools from the ages of about nine to thirteen due to all the foster homes she had, but this was different. She wasn’t in control of those; this one was her doing.
She was finally building something worthwhile. She had friends and a family that loved her.
Damn, how was she supposed to get through this school year without everybody? During the past week, she occasionally glanced at her phone and saw messages from her friends. She gave some half-assed responses that she now regrets. She really was fucking all her relationships up.
Now, she was separated from her friends and her newfound attitude was distancing Lee and AJ from her as well.
It all could’ve been avoided so easily, but she had to lose her shit on that dude.
Whatever, he deserved it anyway.
She remembers sitting in the principal’s office with a plastic bag filled with ice pressed against her face. Honestly, she got off easy — the other dude ended up in the hospital. She was pretty sure she had heard the crack of his arm breaking when they were fighting.
(Well, she ended up in the hospital later, too. Though, for a far different reason. Karma’s a bitch, I guess.)
She remembers not being able to decipher the look on Lee’s face. No anger. No disappointment. It was just…neutral. It stayed that way on the drive home, and it was driving her crazy. Lee was always easy to read — to her at least.
It wasn’t until he sat her down at the kitchen table that she was able to see it: confusion.
She had always been a good student, ever since she was a child. She had never acted out, never got detention. Hell, she never even got a ‘warning’ from any of her teachers.
So….why?
That was Lee’s only question.
And she wasn’t even able to answer it.
Answering it would mean revealing something she never wanted to bring to light to anyone, especially not to Lee.
She simply stared down at the table, unable to meet his eyes.
And so, Lee sighed, knowing he wouldn’t receive a response. He took away her phone, even though he knew that ‘punishment’ wouldn’t do much of anything (she scrolled social media occasionally, but she mostly used her phone for communicating with people; no one really wanted to talk to her at that time, anyway). He sent her to her room and he began restlessly scrolling on the internet for job opportunities and houses.
She stayed in her room for the rest of that day, biting her hand to muffle her sobbing so as to not draw Lee’s attention.
At one point, she heard the loud squeak of their front door — something Lee also had to fix before selling their home. He was going to pick AJ up from school.
Clementine hesitated before moving to open the drawer of her bedside table and stared intensely at the razor she had carefully removed from a cheap pencil sharpener a few days before.
When Lee returned, Clementine had already taken care of the wounds she’d inflicted on her upper arm. She didn’t need to draw attention to this by getting an infection, and Carlos had taught her proper wound care when she got that dog bite. Hopefully Lee didn’t notice that a bit of the gauze in his bathroom had gone missing.
She glanced at her dad’s hat on the top of her bedside table.
God, what would her parents think of this?
She could feel guilt building within her. It built more and more with every scar she left.
That guilt. It’s one of the main emotions she feels at this point. Guilt from the scars she’s left on her body. Guilt from not being able to handle the consequences of her actions. Guilt from AJ and Lee having to see her arms and legs slick with blood and the vomit on the tile beside her.
She refuses to use the bathroom closest to her room after that whole event; she’s noticed Lee and AJ avoiding it as well. She’s willing to walk all the way down the stairs in the middle of the night and use the bathroom closest to Lee’s room rather than step into her bathroom ever again.
She wonders if Lee was able to get all the blood off the floor.
Obviously, she knows avoiding it is just making it worse. She’s going to have to walk into that bathroom one day, but that’s a problem for future-Clementine.
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Every year on the last day before the start of the new school year, Lee, AJ, and Clementine make dinner together.
She doesn’t know why or how this tradition even started, but the memories of it are always nice to look back on.
All of them play a certain role. AJ reads out the directions, Clementine gathers the ingredients and utensils, and Lee is the one that actually makes the dish (with Clem and AJ helping with the small and easy parts).
This year, it feels different.
The tension in the room is obvious, even AJ’s six-year-old brain can sense it. She can hear the hesitance in his tone as he carefully stutters through the directions. Looks like someone hasn’t been doing his summer reading.
They’re making pizza, all homemade — including the dough.
AJ listed the ingredients for the dough: flour, water, yeast, and salt. Easy enough.
She gathers all the ingredients into a small, orderly pile and waits for further instructions.
“Could you open that bag of flour, Clem? Bit difficult to do with one hand, you know,” Lee asked.
So, she attempted to rip open the bag. Except this bag of flour apparently had a grudge against her or something because it refused to open for a solid 30 seconds even with all her attempts. She kept clawing at the bag until, finally, it opened.
And promptly puffed a bunch of flour right into her face.
She hears AJ giggling slightly from behind her as she slowly opens her eyes and looks down at the bag. Luckily, most of the flour is still safely in the bag. Lee has a slight, hesitant smile on his face while AJ’s giggling is getting louder.
Clem scoops a bit of flour from the bag into her hand and throws it in AJ’s direction.
“Hey!” AJ sputtered through the flour dust, wiping some of it off of his face with his sleeves.
Clementine laughed, for the first time in a while.
She could tell Lee didn’t want to break up the scene, if only to hear her laugh some more, but they did need to eat tonight.
“Alright, alright. Flour is expensive, you know? Go wipe that off your face, Clem. You too, AJ.”
She did as he said, but not before flicking some flour towards Lee’s direction as well. Lee glared at her. Clementine smiled back.
The air felt lighter for the rest of the evening.
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“Clementine, you know I care about you-“
“Then why the hell are you trying to leave?”
“Clementine, please. You know why.”
Clementine remained silent, but she had a knowing look in her eye.
“I can’t be around him anymore, I would take you and AJ with me if I could, but…”
“You can’t. I know.”
There was a moment of silence before Clementine spoke up once more.
“Just go, and be safe, Mary.”
Mary smiled hesitantly before pulling Clementine into a quick hug, then promptly leaving through the front door.
Well, he wasn’t going to be happy with this. Clementine just hoped he wouldn’t take that out on her.