Chapter Text
“FUUUUUUUCK!!!”
His chest was heaving dangerously fast, hands sweating and shaking with anger, tears pushing through his lashes while he tried desperately to keep his eyes screwed shut. Izuku couldn't breathe, sweat beading on his forehead as he crouched down and dug his nails into the back of his head. He gripped his hair tightly trying to bring feeling back into his body.
Relax Izuku, you have to relax. Just breathe.
He didn't want to believe it. He thought that maybe everyone was wrong. They were just blinded by discrimination and rooted societal ideals. He could’ve proved them wrong. He just wanted one person, the one person who was his shining beacon of hope to tell him that he should chase his dreams.
Izuku really thought he lucked out when he was rescued by All Might. Granted, he did almost die but whatever because All Mights here! He saved me! This is my one shot to ask!
He could almost laugh now at how fast he went from being the happiest he’s ever been to feeling nothing at all. It was times like this, where he was beaten down and completely submerged into the void of his mind, that he really wished he had his razors.
It would've helped. He would've been able to handle this damning weight if he could just get some feeling back into the numbness overtaking his body. If he could just feel the sting of sharp metal to freckled skin, the burn of an open wound, the feeling of blood slipping and beading down his wrists. If he could just feel something.. anything at all..
But here Izuku was, alone and left on top of the building All Might had just jumped off of. The roof that his hero told him he couldn't be a hero.
This fucking roof.. Maybe Kacchan was onto something when he told me to swan dive.
Izuku knows the blonde didn't really mean the words he said. He knows Kacchan well enough to know that he was just talking out of his ass in the heat of the moment. He knows that Kacchan had a heros heart and would grow to be better one day. He knows that the temper would settle sooner or later and he would be a great hero one day and he was going to be amazing. Kacchan was going to become a hero and save people one day.
Even if he couldn't save me..
It doesn't matter. Right now, all he could do was let the thoughts he usually kept at bay to flow into his mind. Izuku always had the will to bat them away. Perseverance was something he held onto. He was going to be a hero! He was supposed to be strong and stand against all adversities and win!
Nothing matted anymore. All he could think about was his loneliness and the taunts from his bullies and how no one was here to save him. He could finally come face to face with reality, actual facts. He was tired. He was furious. He was in pain. He was..
“Useless Deku..” Those poisoned filled words escaped his lips softly into the wind, like a friend trading secrets. They floated away into the afternoon hue of the sky. The slight breeze from atop the building was the only companion that Izuku could lean on. That he could lean into. He was completely and utterly alone in this world.
Where did it all go wrong?, he thought. Still in his spot, his forehead now touching his knees as he squatted down trying to control his breathing, hands snaked harshly in his hair, he began to reminisce on fading memories. Memories that no longer held any value.
He wasn't always alone. He used to have his Kacchan. They were inseparable on the playground. A true force of friendship that no bond could rival. They were everything to each other. Kacchan used to hold his hand all the time when they were young. He never wanted to be apart from Izuku.
And Izuku used to cling to his blondes arm whenever they were near. He loved all of Kacchans attention. He would do anything for him. He loved him with his whole heart.
“Kacchan! One day we're going to get married!” Baby Izuku had exclaimed to his best friend. He couldn't contain his excitement when he first heard about what marriage was. Of course he had to tell Kacchan!
His friend looked up from his on-going action figure movie he was making. “What's getting married? Sounds dumb.” the blondie questioned, lifting an eyebrow.
“It's not dumb! It’s where two people stay together for the rest of their lives! Me and Kacchan can be together forever and ever! Mama says we can’t get married until we’re older but that's okay! We can wait!” Izuku was jumping up and down on Katsuki’s bed during his ramble.
Katsuki's eyes widened, then a mischievous look crossed his face. “No! We can’t wait that long! Let's do it right now in secret! Auntie and mom don’t have to know, okay?”
Gasping, Izuku jumped off the bed. “Okay Kacchan! Let's see.. We need to hold hands and say really nice words to each other. Then! We say I do!”
“Yeah yeah okay let's do it!” Standing up, Katuski walked over closer to Izuku, abandoning his All Might and Endeavor toys.
Izuku bounded over to Katsuki and took both hands, a little blush on his chubby cheeks. “Do you wanna go first?”
“Obviously!” Katsuki squeezed Izuku's hands and returned his own blush. “Zuku, you’re a really cool person even though im way cooler!" That made little Izuku giggle. "- and we’re gonna make the best hero partners. And I like the color of your hair and eyes.”
Tears slowly flowed out of the green boy's eyes. 'Kacchan likes the color of my eyes? He’s so amazing!'
"Okay my turn!” Izuku started. “Kacchan, you’re my best friend and I hope we’ll always be together. I promise to be with you forever! And I like your eyes too! They're my favorite color!” Izuku leaned forward and kissed Katsuki on the cheek. “I do!”
Kacchan blushed ever brighter but gave Izuku his own kiss too. “I do too.” Izuku laughed and tackled Katsuki into a koala hug. “We’re married now Kacchan! I’m so happy!” Izuku giggled hard as Katsuki began to struggle out of his death grip.
“Yeah dummy I know I was there. Let go!”
Suffice to say, his crybaby friend wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. Katsuki just huffed and returned the boy's hug, accepting his fate. He hooked his chin on Izukus shoulder while whispering “I'm happy too.”
And Izuku used to have his mother.
His mom.
His..
“Mama!”
Izuku finally fell to his knees as he threw his head back. He started to loudly sob up at the sky. He misses her. He wants his mother to hug him and tell him that everything will be okay. He wants to hear her laugh and see her smile and he wants to ramble to her about the new quirks he had seen or the new heroes that debuted. Right now though, he was here alone and crying himself sick.
His mother was always there. She had always comforted him when he cried.
“Izuku, dear, come help mommy with the flowers!” Inkos voice carried into the apartment. It was her only day off that week and she wanted to spend it with her son. As much time as she could.
“I’m coming Mama!”
She smiled hard, her son was always such a happy boy. She was thankful for that. Maybe, he would be okay by himself in this world. Izuku rounded the corner into the living room from his room. All Might onesie dutifully on and ready to help.
“Mama! I AM HERE!” yelled the tiny boy. Posing with his fist the air before he ran off into Inkos waiting arms.
She laughed loudly at his antics. “My hero! Lets save these flowers mama found on her way home. They could use a bigger pot and some water.” Izuku looked up with sparkling wide eyes at his mother, donning a determined smile before going off to get a cup of water.
Inko’s sweet smile slowly turned to something bittersweet. ‘No, don't think about that now. I still have some time.’
She’s gone. She’s not here right now. His mom has been gone for a while.
He’s been alone for 2 years now. Left alone to face the endless hatred from his classmates and Kacchan and society. He was lucky enough that his father had bought the apartment they lived in before he left his family altogether. Only needing to get himself a part time job to cover basic utilities, Izuku never worried about food all too much.
He never understood why he never felt the need to eat as much anymore, never actually feeling hungry. He always felt too weak to get to the kitchen anyway. It was a miracle in itself that he got himself up just to work.
That didn't matter now either.
He looked across the skyline of the city. Everyone going about their day with no care in the world. No one worried about him or his problems or his sadness. Violently, the bitterness crawled up Izuku's throat. He stood up on shaking legs and walked towards the ledge just to curse the world out as loudly as he could.
“WHY ME?? WHAT DID I DO?? FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYONE!!!”
Everyone else was allowed to live happy fulfilling lives but why was he any different? All because he was quirkless! He didn’t have any control over that and yet he’s been condemned for the rest of his life. Then he started to think about it, talking out loud to work it out.
"Maybe.. I was meant to always end up here. Destined from birth to be unhappy. I tried.. I really did, but maybe I wasn't meant to be happy. That had to be the reason, right?"
Poor Izuku. Always too kind for his own good. Always trying to help others when the moment arose. Always trying to be a good friend even when he was burned and spit at and cursed.
His mind felt like it was cracking under the weight. His body felt heavy like lead and yet a deep hollowness was filling him out to the surface of his skin. His goosebumps raised at the next gust of the wind. A teasing pull forward. He walked over even close to the edge of the building, thinking about his life and the meaning of it.
Not everyone was meant to be happy, that's why villains exist. Life is so fairly unfair that way. From the moment of first breath, he was meant to be a space filler. An aimless body and torn soul waiting until his heart couldn't take it anymore. He wishes he was normal. He wishes he felt normal. Along the lines he thinks he always knew that this would be the end for him.
"Maybe it never mattered that mom loved me. Or that Kacchan was ever my friend. It never mattered how hard I worked in school or at quirk analysis or how much I wanted to be a hero. It never mattered because it was always going to be this way. My life is nothing and my life meant nothing."
Izuku looked down. The street was empty. Good. There's no reason to make anyone else's day worse. He had a major headache now and he just wanted it to stop. He wanted it all to stop.
How could he keep going? What was the point in living in the first place? Death sounds a lot more peaceful. It sounds like stillness and quiet and no more suffering. He wonders what it would feel like? Would he go to heaven? Hell? Could he be reincarnated into a different world? A world where no one had quirks and everyone was considered equal.
Maybe he could be revived into a timeline where his mom was still alive. A world where he was loved and cared for. Maybe a world where Kacchan was still his best friend and they still spent everyday together while having sleepovers and play-dates and being each other's whole view of the world.
"That.. kinda sounds nice." Certainty lined his voice, decision made.
Death really doesn't sound too bad now that he thinks about it. He took off his backpack, lowering it beside himself. Then his shoes and sat them next to his bag. He briefly thought about writing a note but shook his head at the idea, knowing that no one would care to read a dead quirkless boys suicide letter. Most quirkless people didn't make it to adulthood and Izuku fully understood why.
He toed the line of the cement under his feet. Toes hanging off the edge while his heel, still on hard surface, started to angle his body. He had one last hopeful, fleeting thought.
If I wake up in the next life with a quirk, it would be cool if I could fly..
Suddenly, quick as lightning, a hand gripped onto his arm and dragged him backwards towards the safety of the roof. Izuku didn't have time to panic about the unknown party as he turned his tear-filled eyes to furious blood red ones.
“What are you doing?!”
“This is bullshit.” Tomura grumbled out loud to no one in particular. “Being made to go get groceries, that's not my damn job.” Kurogiri was back at the hideout. He would’ve been the one to run errands but he insisted that Tomura go out and ‘get some sun.’
Tomura didn’t really care about going outside. Why should he? People were everywhere and they all sucked. Groveling to heroes and making outcasts of people who didn't fit the norm. Why would he want to surround himself with people like that? News flash, he didn't.
But no, Kurogiri thought he was too cooped up in the bar and needed to go outside. I’m not a damn child! Yeah, he was young, just 17, but that didn’t mean he couldn't take care of his own well-being. If he was ready to lead his ragtag group of vigilantes, then he should be trusted enough with his own health.
The pale, blue-haired teen continued his irritated muttering while on his walk towards the market, making sure to keep his head down. He might not have physical abnormalities due to a mutant quirk but he couldn't ever shake the feeling that people were staring at him or were giving him some kind of stink side-eye. It made him itch which caused more paranoia.
He was about to turn down the correct street to the local market, gross, when he noticed a lump of green at the top of the building up ahead of him. He slowed his pace to figure out just what the hell he was looking at. He willed himself to focus by squinting his eyes. The lump of green moved with the wind. A head of hair. Okay, so a person.
The mysterious lump of a person looked to be curled into themselves. Tomura was going to ignore it since it wasn’t really his problem but then he saw them move. They moved towards the edge and started yelling? He was too far to hear most of it, just sounding like faint wailing.
“ -HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYONE!”
Tomura smirked. “Mood.”
The man? boy? person? went quiet again. Tomura decided to watch the person while using one hand carefully taking out his phone, he called Kurogiri and started his trek towards the building that the distressed body was residing on top of.
“Tomura, are you alright? What is wrong?” Kurogiri sounded worried which made his charge roll his eyes.
“I’m fine. Warp to me. I might need you.”
Within a few seconds, the mist man was by the teens side, looking him over to make sure he really was okay. “Tomura, why do you need my assistance?” Misty, if he could even be expressive, looked slightly annoyed.
The teen pointed towards the building, the one with the person on top. Kurogiri turned to look just in time for both of them to watch the body start drifting a little too close to the edge. Tomura felt the sweat drop off his forehead. They wouldn't..?
The person took off the bag they were wearing then next, their shoes. Alarm bells were going off in Tomura's head as he turned to “Kurogiri!”
Suddenly, they both were on top of the same building as the now barefooted person. Actually, right behind him. Up close, Tomura could now tell that this was no man. This was a boy. A child. The thought made him pissed. Is this what people really wanted? For their citizens to live so beyond despair that the only way to freedom was the final act of freedom.
Tomura rushed forward, pinky up, he grabbed the boy's arm just as he was tipping forward and yanked him backwards. The green haired boy slammed into his chest with the motion.
The first thought Tomura had was, he’s so light, then he thought that that's something that could be remedied with a little care. The boy whipped his head up and Tomura got even more angry. This boy was so young, looked so innocent. How could anyone do anything to someone like this? To the point that his only way out was death.
The anger bubbled out of his mouth before he could stop it.
“What are you doing?!”
Green eyes widened even more then, seemingly out of nowhere, the boy burst into tears. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I-I didn’t - I couldn’t - I’m sorry! I-FUCK!!“ the boy wailed into Tomuras chest. He seemed to be trying to find whatever warmth he could. Or maybe he was trying to hide away from the shame.
The older teen was frozen where he stood. He didn’t know what he should do. He didn’t know this was going to happen. Tomura was only going to use Kurogiri to get him to the roof so he could persuade this person to join their cause. He never thought he was going to stop a suicidal boy from jumping of all the things.
Kurogiri stepped forward, sensing Tomuras internal struggle. He spoke softly. “Young man, what is your name?"
The boy looked out from Tomura's chest, backing away from him finally and turned towards Kurogiri, however, the boy wouldn't meet his eyes.
“Izuku.” The boy was hunched in on himself, trying to disappear.
“Hello young Izuku, my name is Kurogiri and this” - waving towards the lanky teen - “is Tomura. Why are you here instead of at home?” Kurogiri asked. The warp user didn’t understand it but he wanted - no - needed to make sure this boy would be okay. He was having flashbacks of when he had found Tomura so long ago.
“There’s no one waiting for me at home. I’m by myself. I’m all.. alone.” Izuku started breaking down again. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He just wanted to rest. He wanted to be free.
Tomura panicked at the sight of tears again. “Well.. we’re alone too. We were cast out by society and a few of us have gathered together. We help where we can and.. will you come with us? And meet the others?” He didn’t mean to sound so awkward but this is the first time he’s dealt with a crying child. Give him a break!
Izuku looked at Tomura and then at Kurogiri, a glimpse of something akin to hope or longing flashed through his eyes before they dulled just a second later. The defeated look on the boys face enraged the older teen even more!
He couldn’t go anywhere without this boy now.
“You don’t want me. I’m worthless. Useless. I-I have no value to anyone.” Izuku whimpered. He sounded as utterly lifeless as he looked. Tomura could sense that Izuku didn’t have the fight left in him anymore. He couldn't help the restless urge of grabbing the boy hiding him away from the world.
Kurogiri was feeling just the same as his young charge. He knew that they could not leave here without him. “Why do you say that? Everyone has value.”
Izuku shrunk in on himself even more, how that was even possible, the two others with him didn't know. With a small voice, Izuku told them his truth. With shame written all in his voice he said, “I’m quirkless.”
He looked like he was waiting for the sneers, the taunting, the hateful insults. He would receive none of that from the two. Simply, Tomura responded with a slow “So?”
Izuku whipped his head up, surprised. “Huh?”
Tomura just huffed “So what if you’re quirkless? My five fingers can destroy anything I touch. Kurogiri looks like a blackhole. We don’t care if you’re quirkless and it doesn't mean you don’t have value. I know you’ve probably been told that your whole life but we understand that so just.. come with us? .. We’ll show you we don’t care.”
The shell-shocked look on Izukus face would almost be funny if the situation wasn’t so dire. Of course they didn’t care. Everyone put too much value into quirks and it only doomed the average citizen. The quirkless and those with undesirable quirks were told over and over again that they were a disease, a mistake, someone lesser than.
Izuku needed to know that they simply didn’t care. He was a person who was worth saving. Tomura held out his hand, pinky tucked into his palm and gave Izuku a small reassuring smile.
“Well?”
Izuku didn't know what he was expecting but this was definitely not it. After clumsily stepping through the portal, he found himself inside of a bar..? It looked like half a bar, half an unfinished basement. The room was lit warmly so at least it didn't feel too ominous. He watched as mist man, wait his name was Kurogiri, went behind the bar and filled a glass with water.
“Here. You should drink something.” A mystified hand slid the cup across the bar's countertop. Izuku walked over with Tomura just behind him, giving his host a quiet thank you.
Tomura pulled a barstool out for himself and motioned for Izuku to do the same. “I’ll explain who we are and what we do. You can ask questions once I’ve gone through everything, got it?” Once he got a slow shallow nod in return, he continued on.
“We are simply called The League. Myself, Kurogiri and a few others founded this group so we could help people that the heroes refuse to. We mostly operate at night in the Red Distinct and the areas surrounding but we’ll venture out if we hear something that requires our attention. Our info broker, Giran, will usually come to us when someone wants to pay for our services. That’s usually helping domestic abuse survivors disappear and relocate, exposing a corrupt person of power, and sometimes the darker stuff. We are vigilantes so although we don't aim to kill, that doesn't mean we won't if it’s for the greater good. Keeping up?”
Izuku was sweating by this point but he nodded again.
“Good. We operate in the gray area so we aren't restricted by the red tape but because of that, we are considered criminals. The League does its best to protect who we can. My quirk is decay so I’m good at ending fights and getting rid of evidence. Touya’s quirk is called cremation which produces extremely hot fire so he’s our long range fighter incase we can't get close or there are too many assailants. Toga is our weapons specialist and her quirk lets her change into anyone as long as she consumes their blood. If you would join us, we can train you in hand-to-hand and get you gear for protection but also to help fight.”
Tomura looked down at his gloved hands then back up at Izuku. His green eyes were widened but thankfully, did not look fearful. “So, what do you say?”
Now that was a good question. On one hand, Izuku was a little worried about consorting with criminals. His whole life he always aimed to become a hero and these people were the kind that he’d have to chase down and throw in jail. However..
He was done with that dream. Heroes aren't as great and grand as he always saw. He hates that it took him so long to open his eyes. The one hero that he held in his heart crushed his dreams like it was nothing. And really, it was. He didn’t care about Izuku and left him on a chilly roof. Bitterness started crawling up his throat again, accidentally letting out a low growl. This surprised Tomura a bit.
“Are you okay? Do you want to think about it?”
“No! I-I mean no I don't need to think about it. I’ll join you. I hate heros and the public that worship them b-but.. I still want to save people. I know there are people out there that can't rely on the heroes so I’d like to be that someone for them..” He will not let All Might crush him. He’ll rise above to help people, to save the people the heroes let down.
Tomura smirked.“Alright kid. Welcome to the League. Do you have somewhere to stay or do you want to stay here with us? Everyone else lives here but they usually spend a lot of time outside the base.”
The young boy thought about it. He still did have a home and although it's only him, it's still his safe space. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to spend half the time there and half the time at the ‘base’.
“Um.. I still have a h-home but can I still have a room here? If it's not t-too much trouble? I understand if i’m asking too much and im s-”
“Izuku, relax, it's fine. You can have your own room here and still have your place. I know you live alone so if you ever want to just hang out here, you’re more than welcome to.”
The boy teared up at Tomuras words. It’s been so long since someone showed him kindness. It was weird and strange and that thought made him sad but he also felt extremely grateful. He would do his best to be the best for The League.
Izuku sniffed quickly while wiping the rising tears. “Okay, thank you Tomura. Thank you Kurogiri. I promise I won’t let you down!” He gave a small smile. Not the smile he used to have but it was real and it felt good to feel something real.
The older teen chuckled at Izuku's determination. He’s a good kid. We’ll show him the way.
“Come on, we’ll bring you home."