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Nicholas didn’t feel very well. That’s what he said. He was just a bit under the weather.
Despite Euijoo’s concerns raising as the day went on and Nicholas’ condition only looking worse and worse, the omega swore he was fine. So, Euijoo tried to shake it off, tried to smell past the heavy, uncomfortable weight under the typical sweetness of Nicholas’ scent.
But, by the end of their outing, Nicholas could barely keep his eyes open. He was resting his head against the arm holding onto a handle and rocking weightlessly with every uneven bump the bus took.
Euijoo played a mindless game on his phone just to have something to do with his hands that didn’t leave his nailbeds bleeding, but his attention wasn’t any less zeroed in on his friend. His chest was pulled tight with nerves because it was 50 degrees outside; even with the light puff of heat blowing through the vents, there was no reason Nicholas should’ve been coated in sweat. Yet, he was, the wet sheen of it glistening under the bus’ low lights.
Euijoo wished they could find him a seat, but it was a Saturday evening, and the chances of that on such a packed bus were slim to none. The press of too many bodies surely didn’t help his condition, but they were almost to the stop for the omega’s apartment. Euijoo kept telling himself they were almost there. He kept his bottom lip trapped between his teeth so the little nips of pain could distract him from the anxiety of waiting.
They ran over a speed bump, and everyone on the bus seemed to rock in unison. Euijoo pressed closer to Nicholas, a pitiful attempt to shield his already poor figure. His ears perked up when a soft, high-pitched noise fell from Nicholas’ mouth. It was too close to a whimper, and loud enough to turn nearby heads to the two of them.
Euijoo’s nose twitched, close enough then to smell the saccharine notes overtaking Nicholas’ scent. It was usually sweet but not overpowering, fresh like strawberries paired with cream, with the faintest undertone of jasmine. Of course, Euijoo had plenty of time throughout the years of their friendship to study even the slightest notes of his best friend’s scent.
But now, on the bus, it seemed more sugary. Stickier in a way, like it found Euijoo’s skin and clung to it, like strawberries being caramelized. He smelled edible, almost. Euijoo’s tongue ran over his lip mindlessly, but he tried not to drink it in too deeply. It felt wrong or greedy, somehow.
People were staring, eyes squinting, noses twitching, as they looked at the source of the sweet smell quickly permeating the bus. Euijoo wanted to assume the best. He wanted to believe this situation wasn’t as bad as he was afraid of, but optimism was never his strongest suit. He couldn’t protect Nicholas against hungry alphas if the worst situation came to light, and despite what he hoped, the worst situation was looking more and more likely.
“Nichol,” he called out quietly. Nicholas hummed, eyebrows creased as he breathed out short pants. “Are you feeling alright?” It was a stupid question – this wasn’t a subject he should’ve been dancing around at a time like this. But he was out of his element.
Nicholas half-responded, mumbling a sound that could’ve taken the form of any word, really. He called out again, tone laced with just a bit of irritation. It tinged his own scent faintly. He wished he had the pheromones to calm the omega down, to soothe his clearly uncomfortable state in some way. Nicholas opened his eyes, just barely, like his lids were too heavy to commit to the full action.
“You smell sweet– like, too sweet,” he said, nearly whispering the last part. He was hesitant, ashamed of the way he let Nicholas’ scent coat his tongue, of the way he swallowed the taste of it. “Do you think– your heat, when was the last time you had it?”
Although Nicholas barely had the energy to open his eyes, he apparently had enough to roll them before they slipped shut once more. He didn’t like when people asked about his heat.
It feels accusatory, he’d said once before, like anything wrong with me has to be ‘cause I’m in heat, like that’s all omegas do.
It was one of many omega-specific feelings Euijoo didn’t innately understand but tried to respect. It was a bit difficult to respect at the moment, when Nicholas was running hot as an oven and a third of the other passengers were staring at him like he could be dinner.
He did answer, to Euijoo’s surprise. “Few months ago. Four or five. Five or six.” His voice was scratchy, his throat dry. Euijoo wished he could say the same. He was practically salivating being so close to the smell. He swallowed the slight build-up of spit and cleared his throat.
“Was it four or five, or five or six?” He asked, trying his best not to let his irritation show. He wasn’t upset that Nicholas was potentially in heat, but that Nicholas was shrugging it off so easily, even with how out of it he was. This situation could become very dangerous very quickly if the wrong alpha stepped on the bus, if the wrong alpha was already on it and was just lurking around, waiting for a moment to pounce. Euijoo tried to step closer to Nicholas, stringing an arm around his friend’s shoulder. His nonchalance meant Euijoo had to be stressed for the both of them. The weight of it was overwhelming. “Is it about time for your next one?”
Nicholas shrugged, kinda, the gesture aborted halfway through in favor of his body sagging more.
“Nico,” he said, ran his teeth against his tongue to get the sweet taste off of it. It clouded his senses, even as a beta. He feared what it could’ve been doing to nearby alphas, even to other omegas.
He tried not to speak in an accusatory manner, because the truth was, he didn’t know Nicholas’ body better than Nicholas himself. He didn’t want to assume, because it could’ve been that Nicholas was just sick. Euijoo wasn’t sure that being sick ever made him, or omegas in general, smell like candied fruit before, but – to be fair – he had only been sick maybe twice for as long as Euijoo had known him.
Nicholas huffed, repositioning like he could somehow get more comfortable standing up on a bus full of people. “That’s stupid,” he said, and the whine in his tone didn’t go unnoticed. “I just had it, I spent it w–”
“We’re here,” Euijoo said, the inner knuckles of his hand a bit sore from how hard he’d tugged the chord. They’d almost missed the stop, and Euijoo didn’t think they could safely handle another minute on that bus. He didn’t think he could handle listening to Nicholas finish that sentence. He didn’t want to know, but he was sure he already did.
The driver side-eyed them as Euijoo all but hauled Nicholas’ lifeless body down the steps. It felt like the doors closed too quickly, like the bus sped off the second they stepped to the sidewalk. It was a little embarrassing, but Euijoo was mostly glad no one got off with them and tried to follow them, or Nicholas, rather. Euijoo was on the weaker side, but he’d sacrifice himself to an ass beating if it distracted violent alphas. If it gave Nicholas more time to get somewhere safe.
Luckily, none of that was necessary. Euijoo only dug in Nicholas’ mini backpack for a few seconds to find his keys. He wasted no time pulling the omega inside and locking the door. By the time his legs were giving out and he felt he couldn’t support Nicholas’ weight anymore, they were already at the omega’s bed. Euijoo dropped him on top of it gently and made quick work of undoing his boots. They thumped to the floor, and Euijoo made a mental note to set them, as well as his own shoes, by the entrance later.
Nicholas’ sweater was nearly drenched, and Euijoo pulled him out of it, along with his skirt, while trying to remain respectful about where his gaze landed. He’d seen Nicholas change too many times to count, of course. But right then, with Nicholas’ sweet scent clinging to his nose, he was already having trouble keeping his thoughts appropriate. Wandering eyes were a no-go.
He made no move to help Euijoo change him, save for lifting himself up slightly so that Euijoo could pull a clean, oversized shirt over his head. After he settled on top of the covers, body lifeless with fatigue, Euijoo asked, “how do you feel?”
It took him a while to respond. He spent the better part of a full minute just staring at Euijoo, who tried not to shift under his gaze. “It’s too hot,” he said, voice teetering off into a whine.
Euijoo was glad to step away from the source of dizzying scent for a few minutes, but it was quickly filling the entire apartment. He wasn’t sure how he’d manage if this went on for much longer, but he’d do anything to make Nicholas more comfortable, even if it threw his own hormones off.
It felt a little silly to turn the air conditioner on during autumn, but he was sure Nicholas was in preheat, despite what the omega had said earlier. If his last was around 6 months ago, it was surely time. Euijoo recognized the glazed look in his eyes, the way Nicholas couldn’t seem to stay still, couldn’t stop squirming from the discomfort. He remembered it all from the first time he’d witnessed the other’s heat, and subsequently the first time he’d experienced heartbreak so intense he was sure it'd kill him.
Nicholas dozed off in the short time he had been gone. His eyes fluttered open as the beta set a cold compress over his forehead. Euijoo had also grabbed a damp towel, which he dabbed along Nicholas’ sweat-covered arms and legs. It was simple to get lost in the mindless act of taking care of Nicholas. It came easy to him because Nicholas’ comfort was always at the forefront of his priorities.
Meanwhile, he thought about potential solutions to their problem. With Nicholas only in preheat, the worst of physical desire hadn’t overcome him yet. Euijoo was grateful not to be caught up in that. Some experiences didn’t need to be relived.
Preheat meant that if Nicholas had any, he could take a suppressant. It wouldn’t completely stop his heat, but it would help subdue it quite a bit. That much, Euijoo knew. Having an omega best friend meant going down countless late night rabbit holes about omega-specific experiences, lifestyles, habits, desires.
Euijoo thought himself educated enough about heats to be a helpful aid throughout one, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d never be able to help Nicholas in the way he’d truly need, eventually. He didn’t have soothing alpha pheromones or quick-crisis solving skills. He didn’t have a knot, and he wasn’t, nor would he ever be, a worthy partner for Nicholas.
All he could do was push away his own desires in favor of trying to think logically, as betas were expected to do.
“Do you have suppressants?” he asked, folding the towel and setting it on the nightstand. When he turned back, Nicholas’ gaze was already on him, eyes full of emotions Euijoo wished he could decipher. Maybe it was for the best that he couldn’t. He didn’t need to hear it from Nicholas to know well enough that his best friend only though of him as that – a best friend.
Despite the clawing, desperate emotions Euijoo harbored, they’d never be reciprocated, because Euijoo knew who Nicholas truly liked. He was well aware of the toned build and kind smile Nicholas daydreamed about. He could remember the so very alpha scent that Nicholas drooled over, the notes of plum and dark oak, the underlying lace of cinnamon. They were traits that belonged to another person Euijoo wasn’t good enough to have. Someone that Euijoo wasn’t pretty enough to turn the head of.
Nicholas was, though, beautiful enough to grab anyone’s attention, really, alphas not exclusive, and it was no wonder that Fuma had taken a liking to him. It was no wonder that they became fond of each other. They weren’t dating, but Euijoo felt that they were on the edge of it, and he was sure that when the day came, he’d begin fading into the background of Nicholas’ life. Into the background of Fuma’s.
The thought made his throat tighten. It made his eyes burn. He turned to look at a distant corner in Nicholas’ room as he tried to blink the feeling away, but a gentle touched rested on his cheek and pulled his gaze back. Nicholas’ eyes danced around Euijoo’s sad expression, features overtaken with concern.
“Are you okay, Juju?” he asked, the mentally clearest moment from him since they first got on the bus. His voice was gentle, like words alone could shatter Euijoo into a million pieces. They could, but only the specific ones Nicholas was still too merciful to say. I only want you as a friend. I just don’t see you like that, not like I see Fuma.
Euijoo nodded, but the movement only forced a cold tear to tumble down his cheek. Nicholas beat him to wiping it off, wiping it instead on his bare thigh, uncaring of the small, wet streak it left behind. He sat up, pulling Euijoo into a hug. He was nearly sweltering, but Euijoo hugged him back, melting into Nicholas’ embrace.
Nicholas began swaying side to side, pulling Euijoo along with him. It was a side effect of his heightened omega senses, the need to comfort others around them, especially when their distressed scent was souring the air like Euijoo’s was. Nicholas was teetering on the edge of not being in his right mind, moving on instinct more than emotional reciprocation.
The affection still nestled deep into Euijoo, weighing him down. His words meant more than Nicholas probably meant when he said, kindly, “Don’t stress. It’ll be okay. You’re too pretty to cry.”
Euijoo let himself be held, soaking up the attention as Nicholas gently rubbed their scent glands together. It enveloped him. It threatened to consume him completely. It pulled him under, reworked his mind, dragging him slack into the omega’s arms. His mind clouded over, a weightless sensation he so rarely came by.
He daydreamed, for a brief moment, about how perfect it would be to stay in Nicholas’ arms forever, the secure hold keeping Euijoo whole. He was somehow toned from working out but maintained his round features. Euijoo thought omegas were impressive in their beauty, how they could pull off any look and still have others – not just alphas, but betas and omegas as well – drool over them.
It must have felt nice to be even half as gorgeous as Nicholas. He was the pretty one, not Euijoo, but the beta didn’t know how to say that in a normal way. He was sure it would come out as something else entirely, like I want to live in your skin, I want to have you here, forever. He didn’t know how to be normal about Nicholas.
None of these thoughts took root in Euijoo’s fogged up mind, brain overtaken by the hard work of Nicholas’ pheromones. Euijoo let himself have it, didn’t overthink the circles Nicholas was drawing into his back.
Until he felt Nicholas’ head turn, hair tickling his cheek. Until he felt soft skin brush against his neck, the unmistakable shape of Nicholas’ lips near his throat. Euijoo all but jumped away, failing to shake off the shiver that crawled up his spine. He panted, trying to regain control over his beta, who yearned pathetically to crawl back into his best friend’s arms and sit in that pocket of dumb, braindead nothingness for the rest of his life.
He’d almost forgotten Nicholas was going into heat. His actions couldn’t be trusted. Not when at any point, he could be overtaken by desire and beg for something Euijoo would be stupid enough to try to give.
After all, he had asked before. Euijoo had tried before. Although Nicholas only expressed gratitude when it was over, when the four-day-long heat cycle had finally broken, Euijoo couldn’t shake off the shameful weight of guilt, the feeling that he’d put his own desire above Nicholas’ needs. It wasn’t like being knotted was necessary, but the lack of one drew the cycle out until they were both so drained they’d slept for the following twenty hours.
He’d promised himself to never put the two of them into that position again. He’d always put Nicholas’ best interests before his own, even if the outcome made him feel sick to his stomach. This was his opportunity to hold himself to that promise, and he was failing miserably. His inner turmoil must’ve shown itself in the bitter turn of his scent, because Nicholas was only pumping more pheromones, trying to calm the beta back down.
“Suppressants?”
Nicholas leaned against the headboard, and Euijoo told himself he’d imagined the dejected look in his eyes. “Bathroom cabinet,” he said. Euijoo escaped without hesitation, hoping that being in a separate room would clear his mind.
He must’ve been insane. He should’ve left half an hour ago, after getting Nicholas settled in bed. He should’ve already called Fuma, knowing they’d spent Nicholas’ last two heats together. He thought it was as good time as any, before things spiraled further out of his hands (and really, at what point was any of this in his hands?), but he came up empty when he patted his pockets. His phone must have been in his bag, sitting on the living room couch along with Nicholas’.
He had to go get it, but he needed something out of the bathroom first. What was it? Why had he come in here? Why, again, had he been so anxious to get away from the sweet omega only trying to make him feel better?
He didn’t remember. It was so difficult to think through the dazed mindset Nicholas put him in. Omegas were so dangerous. But, he longed to go back. He longed to climb onto Nicholas’ soft pink sheets and sink against his warm body, which was only heating up more by the second.
He’d been so hot Euijoo had broken into a sweat of his own. He’d barely noticed in the moment, preoccupied with letting Nicholas scramble his mind. But he remembered now, felt the uncomfortable way his damp hoodie clung to his skin, the way the vent blew cold air onto his hot figure. He considered stealing a shirt from Nicholas’ fuckass huge closet, but it wouldn’t help the problem at hand, which was getting away from Nicholas’ scent.
Yes, Euijoo was getting away from Nicholas’ scent. He remembered, finally. He could feel himself walking through the cloudy abyss of his mind and coming out of the other end whole (whole enough).
He pulled the bottle of suppressants, as well as a bottle of pain killers, out of the cabinet and shoved them into his pocket. He took a deep breath. The cloying heat-scent had been slow to claim the bathroom due to the door being closed. Euijoo was grateful, but he couldn’t stay here all night. Despite the mess in his body, he needed to text Fuma.
He opened the door and let himself be pulled back into the fire.
*
| can you make it over? nicos in pre
The response was Euijoo’s phone buzzing in his hand. He hesitated only for a second before swiping the green option.
“Hey, Joo. Everything alright? Are you with him right now?”
All the breath Euijoo harbored rushed out of him like he’d been holding it captive. Fuma’s voice alone was secure. It was a steady, grounding source to Euijoo’s drifting mind. It was equally warm, comforting, things Euijoo failed to be. He always came out an awkward, anxious mess instead.
Fuma called out his name, reminding the beta that he was waiting on a response. Euijoo looked toward the hallway, to Nicholas’ ajar bedroom door. He hadn’t made any noise in the past ten minutes that Euijoo had been seeking refuge on the couch, which he was sincerely hoping was a good sign because he didn’t trust himself to go back in and check just yet.
“He’s sleeping, I think. He’s just been tired and hot. Clingy, y’know,” he says, trying to convey as much as possible through as little words as possible. He thought hearing Fuma would make him more clear-headed, steadier, like the alpha was. It felt more like his beta was giving up altogether, rolling belly-up and laying there, pliant, waiting, like Fuma was going to give him some kind of command.
Fuma hummed, presumably deep in thought if the following silence indicated anything. “A bit sudden, yeah? Usually, we can tell it’s coming.” Something tugged in Euijoo’s chest at Fuma’s referring to the two of them as a unit. They were a we, now, one that didn’t include him.
Logical. Level-headed. Do your job, Euijoo.
Still, his voice came out quiet, whispered, almost. “There were no signs.” But truthfully, there might’ve been. Euijoo could’ve been too excited to spend time with Nicholas in general to notice anything weird about his scent or behavior. It wasn’t likely, not with the way Nicholas constantly reserved at least seventy percent of his attention span, but it wasn’t impossible.
“Of course,” Fuma cut through Euijoo’s spiraling. He shut down Euijoo’s thoughts like it was simple, like it was a given that if Euijoo didn’t notice any signs, surely there must not have been any. Euijoo wished he could be as sure. He wished he could trust himself as much as Fuma seemed to. “Still, I’m sorry you got caught up in it.”
Euijoo shook his head, then remembered Fuma wasn’t there, not really, and couldn’t see him. “I don’t mind,” he said, and he didn’t. It was fucking him up, possibly irrevocably. But, he’d do it all again, even if only to be in their space, if only to be apart of it.
Pathetic.
“I know,” Fuma said, gentle, kind. Maybe even a little amused. Euijoo wished he could see him.
He couldn’t come immediately, something to do with work that Euijoo could only partially pay attention to in his state of mind. He promised to come the next morning, if Euijoo promised to stay with Nicholas until then. He was confident he’d make it before Nicholas’ full heat set in. Euijoo believed him, figuring he knew Nicholas’ cycle better, so the beta agreed, promising to make sure Nicholas ate and didn’t overheat.
Euijoo felt both disappointed and relieved. He hadn’t realized, until the phone clicked, how much he’d enjoyed sitting with the alpha, even if it wasn’t physical. How nice had it been to hum along to whatever Fuma was saying, to nod along to his instruction, to take a much needed break from all of the thinking, thinking, thinking.
Nicholas was asleep when Euijoo went back in the bedroom. His scent had evened out, spread through the apartment more like a blanket and less like an explosion. Euijoo appreciated the silence, the moment to breathe. But, he had to wake the other up and make sure he took a suppressant before his preheat ended.
Nicholas was, of course, the minimal amount of help ever. He’d only sit up if Euijoo held him, only ate three mouthfuls of fried rice before he turned his head away, and made a fuss of swallowing so many (two) pills. However, he downed half of a water bottle in record time. Euijoo could only be grateful for even the small victories.
He perked up a bit when Euijoo mentioned Fuma, and part of him was expecting Nicholas to wave him off after, to tell him well, thanks for your help, but I don’t need you if my alpha’s coming. But, nothing about Nicholas’ demeanor changed. His grip on Euijoo’s hand didn’t loosen, his eyes on Euijoo’s face didn’t waiver. He didn’t seem like he needed Euijoo here any less, so Euijoo stayed in place, sitting on the bed as Nicholas’ eyes drooped lower. Only then did his grip loosen enough for Euijoo to slip out of his hold.
He gathered the accumulation of supplies they’d used – the damp towel, the now melted ice pack, the barely eaten bowl of rice – and made quick work of cleaning. He could feel Nicholas’ eyes watch him move, but the omega never said anything, laying quietly. Waiting.
Euijoo shuffled through the dim apartment, letting the small tasks distract him from heavy feelings. He considered making a full meal for Nicholas to eat later, when he wasn’t around any longer. Fuma might end up too preoccupied with Nicholas to do it. The omega would surely be in his full heat by then, and he might appreciate the convenience.
Urged by the thought of being helpful, he considered what he could make, what he knew Nicholas liked, what dishes he remembered Fuma mentioning before. He's only been friends with the alpha for a bit longer than a year, and there was still so much Euijoo wanted to learn about him, wanted to experience with him. Euijoo had to learn how to be normal around him – around the both of them, especially as a unit – first.
He was suddenly glad Fuma wasn’t coming immediately. He hoped by morning, he’d be more prepared to see the alpha. Hopefully, his heart wouldn’t do weird things, wouldn’t make this more difficult than it had to be. Hopefully, he wouldn’t think about the two of them together, without him, and how much it hurt knowing he didn't have a spot among them. How much it felt like betrayal, but he wasn't sure from who.
Fuma? Nicholas? Higher beings?
It was his own heart, he realized, standing in Nicholas’ newly straightened-out room. He could’ve left then. He could've started on the meal he wanted to make. But he found himself watching the soft, even rise and fall of the omega’s chest. Euijoo assumed he was asleep, so he only felt slightly less creepy for standing over him, but he couldn’t help it. Nicholas was an honor to look at, and Euijoo often found that he could never look away for long.
He turned to the door, telling himself it was the brave thing to do, the right thing to do.
But he heard it just as his hand reached the door handle, the soft outline of Euijoo’s nickname coming from the warm body mere feet from him. Euijoo turned, and Nicholas was staring back at him, eyes just slightly open. He was barely visible in the dark room, but the moon was doing its job bathing him in soft light, as if Nicholas needed to look even more ethereal.
“Sleep with me?”
Euijoo thought it over for all of two seconds. His body moved before his mind even decided, climbing into the spot Nicholas scooted over to make for him before he could admit to himself the objective truth, that this was a bad idea.
There was a perfectly comfortable couch, there was the floor, there was any place in the apartment that would’ve been a more intelligent place to sleep than here, in bed with the best friend he was love with, who was still radiating warmth like a space heater, sweet scent sticking to every crevice of Euijoo’s mind it could dig itself into.
None of the intelligent places had Nicholas, though, vulnerable and beautiful and asking Euijoo to stay.
He knew better, but it all felt too easy, too familiar, curling himself into Nicholas’ arms, wrapping his own around Nicholas’ torso. He knew better, and in the morning, on the cold bus ride home, the only person he could blame for the second worst heartbreak of his life would be himself.
Still, Euijoo’s never said no to Nicholas before. He sure as hell wasn’t starting tonight.
* *
It must’ve been around three or four in the morning the next time Euijoo woke up. The sky was still dark, and he hadn’t woken up naturally. It was too sudden, so abrupt that his brain was still processing it.
He took a deep breath and nearly choked it back out. The air was so thick, Nicholas’ scent nearly suffocating him. All-consuming. Euijoo could barely breathe through it. He didn’t need to be pressed against Nicholas’ scent gland for it to make him dizzy.
He must’ve made a noise, or maybe his scent spiked. Any kind of signal that he was no longer asleep, because Nicholas turned to him, voice edging on a sob as he buried his head in Euijoo’s neck.
“Are you awake? Euijoo– Wake up, please, get up,” he rambled, words barely making any sense, especially to Euijoo’s sleepy mind. It was second nature to welcome Nicholas into his arms, to pull him closer and expose his neck more, hoping his scent was at least somewhat comforting to the omega. Euijoo wasn’t sure if Nicholas could even smell anything over his own scent, but Nicholas pressed closer, breathing in deeply like he could.
“Nico–” He said, cut off by his own sharp inhale as Nicholas peppered kisses across his throat. It was both hesitant and quick, like Nicholas felt pulled to do it, felt unsure he was allowed to. “What– what’s wrong?”
Nicholas whimpered, trying to get closer to Euijoo like they weren’t already squished. He was burning up, and Euijoo wasn’t sure when they’d gotten under the covers, but he couldn’t kick them off quick enough. He felt just on the edge of a heat stroke, tugging at the collar of his hoodie, and he couldn’t imagine how Nicholas felt, how it must have felt to have the fire taking refuge inside of him.
“It hurts, everything hurts, I don’ know what to do, it hurts so bad,” he said, words smushing together so tightly it was difficult to tell when one ended and another began. Their bodies took similar shape, sweaty skin pressed together.
There was another wetness in the midst of it all, a fresh sweetness in the air that was unmistakable. Euijoo trailed his hand down, sliding them under Nicholas’ shirt to find that his panties were already off. He’d been awake for who knows how long, and his slick was soaking into the bedsheets. It coated his thighs when Euijoo spread them to check. He was too drowsy to bite back the desperate groan that pulled out of his chest.
Nicholas responded with a whine, followed by a gasp when Euijoo accidently grazed his hand against Nicholas’ exposed cunt. The sweet, overwhelming smell thickened as Nicholas spread his legs, mindlessly grinding against nothing as Euijoo held his thighs apart.
“Joo, please, I need– need to– just,” he pulled Euijoo’s hand closer, opening his palm to rub against. Euijoo's hand was coated in slick in seconds, the creamy texture spreading between his fingers.
“Nico, Jesus,” he said, words mostly air. He should’ve pulled his hand away, maybe, should’ve de-escalated the situation somehow, but it was evidently very difficult to think when maybe half of his braincells were awake and Nicholas was doing his best to angle his opening toward Euijoo’s fingers.
Whatever he was going to say didn’t matter anyway. Nicholas wasn’t listening, muttering between sloppy kisses on Euijoo’s neck.
“C’mon, Juju, touch me, please. Tell me you wanna touch me,” he begged, tone edging on desperation. He was still coherent, mostly, which was a good sign that the suppressant was doing its best.
He wasn’t nearly as horny as he could’ve been. Not as much as Euijoo’s seen him before, the last time they’d done this. Nicholas had been out of pills and his heat was in full throttle. They hadn’t met Fuma yet. Euijoo had no one to call. It’d just been Nicholas’ heat-driven brain and Euijoo’s tired body, doing his best to keep up with the omega’s insane libido.
All he had to do was lay there. That’s what Nicholas had said – he’d do all the work if Euijoo was tired.
“Okay, okay, Nico–” he called. Nicholas’ head lifted immediately, eyes wide and waiting, hopeful. “Come here,” he said, pulling Nicholas to lay on top of him. Nicholas followed, eager. Euijoo pulled them together again, chest to chest. They were close enough to kiss. Euijoo made no move in case Nicholas didn’t want it. Instead, he pulled Nicholas’ legs apart again, positioned his own between them until his thigh was snug against Nicholas’ cunt.
His hips buckled immediately, a soft gasp falling from his lips and tapping Euijoo’s face. Euijoo watched his lips part, and fuck, he couldn’t remember wanting to kiss anyone as much as he wanted to kiss him.
But Nicholas’ head must’ve grown heavy, ‘cause it fell back into Euijoo’s neck as his hips rolled forward. He thought he heard Nicholas say his name around a moan. It was muffled and drowned out by the slick sound of Nicholas’ skin gliding against Euijoo’s leg. Slick soaked into the fabric of his sweats. He could feel the warm outline of Nicholas’ cunt rubbing against his leg. He swallowed thickly, rubbing his hands up and down the omega’s back.
“You got it, Nico. You’re safe. You’re doing so well,” he praised, mind set solely on making Nicholas as comfortable as possible. A response came in the form of greedy bites along his neck, presses of teeth that Euijoo knew were gonna bruise. It felt purposeful, to a point, like Nicholas intended for them to stick. The thought did sick things to Euijoo’s pathetic, delusional mind.
Time passed like that, with Nicholas fucking himself against Euijoo’s leg until his noises pitched and his hips buckled, pressing himself as close to Euijoo as possible throughout the duration of his orgasm.
Euijoo felt breathless enough for the both of them. Nicholas pulled his head up, a string of drool following and connecting his lip to Euijoo’s neck. Euijoo felt his resolve crumble staring at the thin layer of spit coating Nicholas’ lips. He leaned up before he could stop himself, pulling Nicholas into a kiss by his neck. Nicholas reciprocated immediately, making it messy as he dragged his tongue across Euijoo’s lips, demanding entrance.
He fell closer, leg snuggled between Euijoo’s, slotting them against each other. His next roll forward pressed his thigh against Euijoo’s cunt. The pressure was subdued due to Euijoo still being dressed, but it was enough to make his jaw slack, giving Nicholas more room to explore the area. His tongue moved like he wanted to commit Euijoo’s mouth to memory. Euijoo let him. Euijoo wanted to let him do anything, wanted to let him take anything from him as needed.
Euijoo could never produce as much slick as Nicholas. He still felt it soaking through his underwear, still felt the glide of it become smoother from the wetness. Nicholas’ hand slid between them to tug on his waistband.
“Wanna feel your skin, Juju, okay?” He said in between kisses, like he couldn’t keep his mouth off of him. Euijoo nodded, chasing his lips as Nicholas pulled his sweats off. Only Euijoo’s underwear separated his cunt from Nicholas’ thigh the next time they connected, and the following roll of Nicholas’ hip felt so much better than before. Euijoo felt like his head might’ve swiveled off with how quickly it was spinning.
Nicholas ran his hands down Euijoo’s body, feeling as much as he could through Euijoo’s hoodie, never running his hands under the fabric save for resting them on Euijoo’s waist. He met the band of Euijoo’s underwear and tugged at that as well, groaning like the piece was offensive.
“Let me touch you, please?” He asked, as if Euijoo would ever say no.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to catch up to everything happening. His hips were still rocking up against Nicholas’ thigh. It felt like Nicholas’ hands were all over his body, difficult for him to keep up with, as always. He nodded.
“Don’t you want me to touch you?” He asked, breathless, lifting his hips so Nicholas could slide his clothing off. After Euijoo rested back against the mattress, Nicholas finally slid his hoodie up, not pulling it off, but just enough to expose his chest. He kissed the layer of skin covering Euijoo’s sternum gently, like it would tear under his touch. He shook his head, hair tickling Euijoo’s chest.
“This is good, so good,” he muttered, words muffled by the kisses he was peppering along Euijoo’s body. He rolled his hips as if it proved his point. “Just need my hands on you.”
He pinned the leg he wasn’t grinding against, maneuvering Euijoo’s body effortlessly even in the dark. Euijoo could only follow his lead, shivering where ever Nico’s hands trailed lightly. He had yet to actually touch Euijoo like he begged to. Euijoo squirmed at his slowness, wondering how he had the mind to tease Euijoo even now.
“I still think about it all the time,” he continued, words syrupy and soft. Euijoo had no idea how difficult it was to think through heat, but he knew Nicholas was a talker, witnessed firsthand the filthy things that could come out of the omega’s mouth.
Euijoo couldn’t dirty talk. He couldn’t focus long enough to form the words. He would’ve been impressed by Nicholas’ ability to do so if he could’ve thought past the sudden, harsh press of Nico’s thumb against his clit. As it was, he could barely speak coherently enough to beg Nicholas to actually touch him. “The first time you helped me. I never stop thinking about it,” he confessed, slowly guiding one finger into him.
It slid through the wetness coating Euijoo’s walls smoothly. Euijoo hadn’t realized how horny he’d been until Nicholas was touching him. He could feel himself dripping around Nicholas’ finger, could hear the squelching sound of it, hips twitching as Nicholas’ thick scent made him languid, weak. He could barely lift them to meet Nicholas halfway, and even when he tried, Nicholas pushed him down again, rolling himself against Euijoo’s skin.
He wanted to respond, truly. He wanted to ask what that meant, what Nicholas wanted him to do with that information. All he could do was stutter broken words as Nicholas eased another finger inside him and scissored them slowly.
In the dim lighting from the night sky, Euijoo’s eyes caught Nicholas’. He saw the way they seemed to shine even through the glazed look in them. He was so, so stunning, and Euijoo was so irrevocably fucked.
Nicholas stopped rolling his hips, leaning down to catch Euijoo’s throat between his teeth. He tugged on the skin, pulling a whimper from the beta as spikes of pain spread through his neck. His head fell back, giving Nicholas more access to ruin the area. Nicholas took the bait eagerly, kitten licking the marks he’d already made before kissing up to Euijoo’s ear.
“So beautiful, doing so well, my Juju,” he whispered gently, like it wasn’t Euijoo’s trembling body, but glass laying in his hold. “So perfect,” he said, curling his fingers, sliding him out, rubbing quick circles along his clit. “I love you,” he said, lips brushing against Euijoo’s so the beta could feel the words, not just hear them, being spoken. “So much.”
Euijoo whined – stupid, high-pitched and pathetic, a sound he’s never heard himself make before – as Nicholas worked him through his orgasm. He only pulled away when Euijoo pushed him weakly, squirming to escape his touch.
His eyes were strangely clear, like he’d had a moment of clarity. He pulled his hand to his mouth, slipped the fingers inside to get Euijoo’s taste on his tongue. His eyes stayed open, locked on Euijoo’s as he moaned around his own fingers, around Euijoo’s cum. They glazed over once more, like the clarity had never been there to begin with.
His hips jumped back into action, rubbing his own wetness against Euijoo’s thigh, and Euijoo thought he must’ve died somewhere along the blurred lines of Nicholas' fingers inside him. There was no way he was watching Nicholas moan around the taste of him while getting off on his leg. There was no way he was here right now, seconds after hearing his best friend say he loved him.
He’d called him beautiful, perfect, his, and Euijoo’s mind was a bit scrambled, a lot fogged over, but there wasn’t a condition in the world that would’ve stopped him from hearing that.
He'd called him beautiful, perfect, his. Euijoo's mind was a bit scrambled, a lot fogged over, but the claim clung to his mind.
Maybe for better, maybe for worse, he couldn’t harp on it. He couldn’t ask Nicholas how he meant it, where he meant for it to go in Euijoo's mind, what the beta should do about his racing heart, because Nicholas was whimpering around his fingers, mumbling words he was muffling himself like he’d become too dumb to remove his hand. Euijoo tugged on his wrist, letting the soaked skin fall to the mattress.
“So good, so perfect, please. Fuck me, Euijoo, need it, need you so bad, I wanna– need you, pl–”
He cut himself off with his own noises, interrupting himself with whines and whimpers. Euijoo could barely decipher it all. It felt like his brain was seeping out of his ears. Whatever was happening to Nicholas' mind was affecting him as well. The rough tug of pheromones was pulling them both under water. Euijoo thought he’d never hear himself say it, but he wished Fuma was here. He wished the alpha could take control, could tell him what to do, could make the decisions for him.
But he wasn’t, and Euijoo had no idea where his phone was, or if he’d even be able to use it, and they were both counting on him. He had to think.
He did his best to work through the scribbles in his head drawn in pink pencil color. He squeezed his eyes shut so the desperate sight of Nicholas didn’t distract him. He thought about what he could do.
Nicholas wanted to fuck him. He could make that happen. He thought he should probably get on top. He should let the omega lay down. But it might've been uncomfortable with his damp shirt. He was probably hotter now than he was earlier. He felt hotter, and Euijoo was also so, so hot. It felt like they’d never be cool again.
But Euijoo couldn’t think like that, smothered under what-ifs. He had to start small.
Nicholas’ eyes were on his, wide and wet and empty, bottom lip pulled between his teeth as his rocked his hips forward. Sometime during Euijoo’s meltdown, he’d began rubbing his own clit. Euijoo wasn’t sure how he hadn’t picked up on the wet sounds coming from it, but he heard it now, heard the way it mixed with Nicholas’ whiny pants and breathless gasps. His other hand was clutching his shirt, pulling it up, pulling it down, like Nicholas didn’t know what to do with it. Euijoo meant to take it off. That’s where he’d start – he’d take off Nicholas’ shirt.
He pulled his body to sit up, movement interrupting the rhythm of Nicholas’ hips. He whined when Euijoo held him still, squirming as Euijoo pulled his shirt off. He let the sweat-soaked article fall to the mattress as his hands traveled up Nicholas’ torso. He was burning up, the tips of his hair wet with sweat. He slumped into Euijoo’s hold, exertion catching up to him.
That was Euijoo’s next step – get on top. Let Nico lay down. He repeated the sentences to himself, letting them be the only two on loop in his mind as he guided Nicholas down. The omega went without fight, body melting into the mattress. Euijoo took his position, sat between Nicholas’ legs.
From this angle, he could see the glisten of Nicholas’ slick covered skin, the way it coated his thighs, his cunt, even his pelvis. He understood Nicholas’ actions earlier, and he knew he was diverging from the pathetically formed plan. But his tongue sat restless in his mouth at the sight. He had to get a taste of it, had to get his mouth on the omega in a way he hasn’t in over a year. Not since the first time. Not after Fuma started helping him.
As he leaned down, licking up a trail of slick trickling down Nicholas’ inner thigh, the thought eased into his loose mind of what Fuma might say about Euijoo diverging from the plan. Would he stop him? Gently remind him what needs to be done, what Nicholas asked for? Would he punish him, make him sit still and watch Fuma take care of Nicholas correctly?
The thought made him moan shamelessly, vibrating against the inner crevice of Nicholas thigh, the transitional spot between leg and cunt. Nicholas smelled strongest there, and Euijoo was so far past trying to control his intake of the omega’s scent. Now, he pressed his face against the spot. He breathed in so deeply it made his head spin. He came out of it with slick lightly coating his nose.
Surely, he thought, kitten licking Nicholas’ puffy lips, Fuma would let him have this. He would see how hard he’s been trying, would tell him it’s okay, take what you need. With that thought, Euijoo did, moaning in gratitude to the Fuma in his head, spreading Nicholas’ lips and pressing his tongue flat to his opening.
Nicholas twitched, moaning out a string of words Euijoo didn’t register. He couldn’t hear that well over the static in his head, greedily drinking in the taste of Nicholas finally on his tongue. Not his scent, but the real thing, straight from the source. He felt unworthy, and that only made him try harder. It only made him want to please the omega more.
Nicholas’ hand found its way into his hair, carding into it, tugging it harshly, holding Euijoo’s head in place as he fucked himself against his face. Euijoo could feel it making a mess of his nose, his mouth, his chin. He let it happen gladly, let Nicholas take what he needed as he imagined the sweet things Fuma could’ve been whispering in his ear if he were here. God, Euijoo wished he were here.
Nicholas went rigid against his mouth, hips bucking twice before his entire body slumped. Euijoo kept a thumb pressed to his clit, kept lapping at his hole until Nicholas began whining. His hand fell from Euijoo’s hair. Only then did Euijoo come up, taking a deep breath.
His neck hurt from Nicholas holding him in place. His entire lower face was covered in cum and slick. Still, a pleasant hum settled in him at the sight of Nicholas all pretty and worn out on the bed. He thought – and this wasn’t a thought he often found himself having – that he might’ve been doing a good job. An okay job, at least, and that was better than terrible.
Nicholas’ eyes were barely open, body twitching as little whimpers fell from his mouth. He looked strung out, but he opened his arms when Euijoo neared, pulled the beta close to him and into another kiss. It was less messy now, less hurried. Nicholas moaned at the taste of himself on Euijoo’s tongue. He didn’t seem to mind the mess of Euijoo’s face or the way it was definitely getting on his own. It seemed to spur him on, trying to lick the coat of his own cum off of Euijoo’s tongue. His hips stuttered forward, trying to grind his cunt against Euijoo’s tummy.
Euijoo pulled away and he whined. “Do you wanna go again?”
He was nodding before Euijoo finished the sentence, kissing every inch of his cheek before coming back to his mouth. “Please, just one more, I promise. One more, and we can go back to sleep,” he bargained, like he was afraid Euijoo would say no, like that was something Euijoo would ever do to him.
Outside the window, the sky was greying just slightly, a promise that just like the previous days, the sun would be returning. Euijoo nodded, getting caught in another kiss.
“Of course, Nico. As many as you need. I won’t leave you here,” he said, his own promise.
Nicholas seemed to relax at that, tense shoulders loosening against the sheets. He trailed his hand up Euijoo’s body, pinched his hip lightly, smiled at the yelp that Euijoo let out. He bunched the fabric of Euijoo’s hoodie up and pulled it over the beta’s head, sighing when Euijoo’s vulnerability was in full view. He trailed his hands from Euijoo’s neck to his tummy, palms lightly grazing Euijoo’s nipples. He paid no mind to how the touch made Euijoo jump, how it made his hips jerk forward against nothing.
“So beautiful, so perfect. Just like I said,” he mumbled, voice soft and sweet. Just like his scent. It wasn’t as strong now, signaling that hopefully they’d broken through the first wave. Fuma would be here by the time the second one hit. That one would be worse, and while Euijoo could’ve helped Nicholas through it, and has before, it was strenuous, mentally taxing for the both of them. Euijoo didn’t want Nicholas to go through it like that again, not when there was a perfectly sweet, capable alpha willing to take care of him. He just wished it didn’t mean he was no longer needed. He wished it didn’t mean he had to go.
Nicholas brought his attention back to center, mind clear enough to be concerned, again, like he had been earlier.
“What’s the matter?” He asked, and Euijoo shook his head, kissing Nicholas quickly, like it would erase the empty feeling from his chest.
He had right now, and it would likely be the last time he had Nicholas like this. It surely wouldn’t be much longer before he and Fuma started dating officially. Euijoo’s been subjected to seeing the way they look at each other - the way they linger around each other, closer than a few months prior - enough times to know that much.
And while he never got to know Fuma as vulnerably as he did Nicholas, he’d try to be grateful to have them as friends for as long as possible, until they got tired of him. He’d try to get to know him on a deeper level platonically, and that would have to be enough.
Nicholas looked as convinced as Euijoo felt, but Euijoo was grateful that he didn’t push it.
“Let’s go, one more time,” he said, and Nicholas nodded, laying back on the bed, waiting for whatever he had planned. He pulled Nicholas’ leg over his shoulder, scooted closer until they were pressed together, cunts lightly grazing. Nicholas jerked, a whiny noise falling from his mouth. Euijoo leaned back on his hand, the other holding Nicholas’ hip. He pulled them closer, getting the angle perfect, and at the first roll of Euijoo’s hips, Nicholas' mouth dropped open, twitching in Euijoo’s hold. They moaned in unison, but Nicholas’ drowned Euijoo’s out as they worked to find a steady rhythm.
“Fuck, hah, fu–” He gasped, mumbled out a continuous stream of profanities and pitched noises, leg shaking where Euijoo was still holding it. Euijoo tried not to get caught up in it. He tried to focus on the task at hand – making Nico feel good, making him cum one more time. But it was difficult to pick one thing to zero in on when everything about him looked so good, felt so good.
Euijoo strained to make sure he heard every beautiful, desperate noise falling from the omega’s mouth, felt his cunt twitch listening to the wet sounds they were making together. His scent was so sweet, the taste of him still on Euijoo’s tongue. Euijoo let his mouth hang open, breathing through his mouth just to have more of it, let spit pool and run over, drooling shamelessly. It felt like Nicholas was hitting all five of his senses. Every sensation his body registered was Nicholas.
Euijoo only really lost composure when Nicholas gripped his hip, holding Euijoo still so he could roll his hips up, taking control effortlessly. Euijoo whined then. He thought he heard himself say Nicholas’ name, thought maybe he heard Nicholas say his back. There was no way he’d outlast the omega. He already felt himself clenching with the threat of cumming.
He changed angles slightly, leaning forward so that he could tweak the other’s nipple, could squeeze the soft fat lightly. He was puffy there, tender from his heat, and he cried out when Euijoo tugged on the nub, hips stuttering.
“Nico, please,” he panted, not even entirely sure what he was asking for. Nicholas stuttered a chopped up string of what might’ve been Euijoo’s name, body jerking, cunt rubbing against Euijoo’s mercilessly. Euijoo squeezed his eyes shut, pulled his hand back to cover his mouth instead, muffling the desperate sound he made as he came. Nicholas didn’t seem to care, fucking against him like it didn’t matter. All Euijoo could do was whimper into his hand, twitching from overstimulation.
He forced his eyes open, met with Nicholas’ already on him, jaw slack as he moaned shamelessly. His eyes darted around his body like Nicholas didn’t know what to look at. “Nichol,” he called out, and Nicholas’ eyes found his, cloudy and dazed as he whimpered. Euijoo went to his nipple again, rolling it between his fingers. “Come on, pretty,” he said, because Nicholas had said it earlier, but he thought it much more befitting to the omega, thought Nicholas deserved to hear it more than anyone else.
Nicholas did, almost immediately, a collection of whiny gasps pulling from his throat as his body trembled, shaking so intensely he nearly kneed Euijoo in the side. It was a sight Euijoo thought he could’ve look at forever, thought he’d be getting off to until his sex drive shriveled up and died completely. Nicholas was just perfect; Euijoo didn’t think he’d ever find anyone like him again.
But he wasn’t Euijoo’s, not that he’d ever been, but especially not after today, the beta was convinced. So, just to savor the moment, he untangled them, and leaned down, pulling Nicholas into a kiss. It didn’t get desperate that time – Nicholas was too worn out for now to go again. It remained slow, bated in time like floating through molasses, until they had to pull away to breath and Nicholas’ lips were shiny, puffy and red.
He did it again, in the shower, after they’d washed each other’s hair. He kissed him and hoped it conveyed all of the things he was too pathetic to say.
And once more, when they were back in bed, still naked, and tangled in what had become a poorly made nest of the sheets and their clothing.
Euijoo waited until Nicholas fell asleep to kiss him one final time, on the forehead, before whispering, “I love you.”
He knew he meant it differently than Nicholas had, but it felt good to say it, finally. He thought he saw traces of a sleepy smile on the omega’s face.
It was merciful, the mix of fatigue and exertion that pulled him under before he could overthink it.