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Jayce Talis has been acting strange, and Viktor is very perplexed because he struggles to understand why.
They had started dating just a few months ago after years of pining, and Viktor doesn't remember a time when he's ever been so happy and relaxed. It's the same partnership they had in the years prior, only now with the added benefit of resolved tension, a clarity in the air due to the fact that they can communicate now.
Which is why Viktor feels no apprehension as he comments on Jayce's anxious demeanor.
"It's just— uh, do— you...?" Jayce trails off, thumb rubbing over his bracelet, thighs shifting as he squirms in his seat. Viktor puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.
"I was thinking— maybe, we could have dinner at home today?" Jayce asks, voice lilting higher as he speaks. Viktor chuckles, all that buildup, for that?
"Sure, I do not mind. Although I am a bit surprised, you love taking me out at the end of the week, what has changed?" Viktor asks, confused but not opposed to it. As it saves him the trouble of having to get ready for their usual weekly date night.
"Nothing— just, not really in the mood... I guess." Jayce mumbles, and Viktor nods before walking back to his desk, fiddling with his hair as he goes over some calculations and data he collected just yesterday. He wanted to finish up his annotations before they went home.
That was another thing that came along with their budding romance. A gradual change, less sleepless nights at the lab, uncomfortable and cold. Instead they've been turned in for warm, cozy nights tangled together in bed.
After years of being sore, devoid of comfort and indulgence. Viktor thinks he deserves domesticity. Jayce has made him domestic, used to an abundance of service and warmth. Used to the careful balance of being able to work as hard as ever, because he can now— thanks to the fact that he has it in him to take a break. Used to being able to acknowledge that maybe— just maybe— actually resting is good for the mind, and there was never a purpose in running himself ragged for the sake of— his pride?
Sure, he's still a little too proud for his own good, but he thinks it adds to his charm. At least he's healthy now— eh, healthier. Besides, they seem to be making more progress than ever now.
All because Jayce has made him soft. The thought excites him. He likes being soft. Soft is good.
Viktor gets pulled out of his introspection by the drag of a chair. He perks up as Jayce comes over to show him a part for one of the prototypes they've been working on. They still haven't determined a name for it yet, but the goal is there. To help the miners in the fissures.
"Very good, Jayce. This should be enough, we've made good progress today." Viktor smiles coyly at the effect his praise has on Jayce, who's always ever so needy.
Jayce bites his lip, the little gap between his teeth showing slightly. "Thanks." He breathes.
They both packed up their things and got ready to close up for the day. Although, Sky will most likely stop by while they're gone to double check that everything is correctly sorted. Jayce had told her once that there was no need, but she insisted that she liked organizing things, and that was that.
On their way to Jayce's apartment they contemplated what to take out for dinner. Jayce seemed insistent on chicken— grilled chicken. Viktor was not having it.
"You could at least get fried chicken. What is the point of getting the same thing you have for lunch everyday, that you can make at home?" Viktor asks, appalled really. At the very least, fried chicken isn't something Jayce— their main meal provider besides Ximena— traditionally made due to the fact that it was so tedious to fry.
"Okay, fine. What about... um, salad?" Viktor thinks he must be egging him on, either way he takes the bait and shakes his head.
"Absolutely not, you will just be hungry again in an hour. Salad is not dinner. It is barely lunch." Viktor scoffs.
"Says the person who doesn't eat lunch!"
Viktor scoffs though it's devoid of any real annoyance. Jayce did have a point, typically he forgoes the meal cause it makes him drowsy to eat in the middle of the day. He tries to make up for it with his nighttime snacking. Nonetheless— "Well, you do!" He points out.
Jayce's brows furrow as he goes to say something and stops himself, looking away. "Right." He mutters, and Viktor is confused by the sudden change in his demeanor.
"You're not ill, are you?" He asks softly. Jayce's face cycles through multiple different expressions before settling on something vaguely guilty.
"Um...yeah, I-I think so."
They settle on soup, salad, sandwich, and a brownie because Viktor has a sweet tooth.
Instead of the table they opt to eat on the couch, cuddled up. Viktor has concluded based on Jayce's vague details that it's probably his mental issues affecting his physical, and that there's no need to worry about catching anything. Ergo, cuddles. Lots of them.
"Honestly, you stress yourself sick too often Jayce, is it the council again?" Viktor pauses at Jayce's indifferent hum, at the way he stares at his food, unmoving.
Viktor softens his tone, resting a hand on his thigh and squeezing. He takes a bite of his tuna melt before Jayce sighs and finally starts eating.
Eventually their plates are cleared and Viktor's having some peppermint tea while Jayce rests his head on Viktor's lap, a blanket draped over up to his chin. Viktor sighs contentedly.
"That was good. I'm very full." He murmurs, playing with Jayce's hair.
Jayce's brows pinch a little and he chuckles nervously. "Yeah, think I ate too much. Though." He mumbles quietly, pressing his face into Viktor's thigh.
"Are you going to be sick?" Viktor stills his hand.
Jayce huffs. "No? Probably not...I dunno. Just don't feel good. Can you keep doing that?"
Viktor goes back to playing with Jayce's hair. "You are overwhelmed." It's a comment, not a question. Viktor hopes his directiveness could help Jayce sort himself out a bit. Jayce's eyes slip shut and he hums in affirmation.
They stay like that for a while, just quietly basking in each other's presence. Viktor would assume Jayce was asleep if it weren't for his little whines whenever his hand stilled. Viktor finds it very endearing.
They have to move to bed eventually though, as Viktor is starting to feel uncomfortable and he just wants to lie down. They go through the motions to get ready for bed. Jayce helps Viktor with his braces. Something that would've caused him to bristle just a few months ago. But Viktor has come to accept that in order to be with Jayce Talis one would have to succumb to his constant need to service. Maybe Viktor also liked being taken care of, especially when it came with watching the tension ease from his partner's shoulders whenever he was doing something for him. Viktor smiles to himself as Jayce comes back with a glass of water for Viktor's meds. He's so soft.
It's only then that Viktor realizes Jayce is very clothed. He reaches for the hem of Jayce's shirt when he flinches backwards, stumbling.
"Sorry! Sorry, gods—"
"You aren't going to shower with me?"
Jayce looks sheepish. "No? I'll just shower after you." Viktor frowns but lets it go.
Eventually they're settled in bed about to curl up with each other. Viktor goes to move to his usual position spooning his partner when Jayce abruptly asks if they could switch tonight. Viktor raises his eyebrows, surprised. "You love it when I hold you though?" He asks, hoping for some elaboration.
When Jayce tries to say something and fails a few times, "Sorry, just— wanted to make sure you knew that we could switch?" He settles on that. Which Viktor finds kind of absurd. Of course he knows that Jayce would switch positions if he so pleased. Plus, Jayce knows that Viktor needs to prop up his leg when he rests on his side. Sure, he could always use one of their throw pillows or even his body pillow that's in the closet for his bad pain days— but why use them when he has a perfectly sweet boyfriend right in front of him? It's a flimsy explanation at best. At worst, Jayce is lying.
Viktor really doesn't like that. He gives Jayce a pointed stare until he finally caves and mumbles yet another perplexing thing.
"I just don't want you to touch my stomach." It's quiet, but it gives something for Viktor to work with. An olive branch— or however the saying goes.
"Does it hurt?" Jayce chews on his lip and shakes his head, staring at his hands, which are kneading the blanket.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
Viktor nods and gets under the covers, encouraging Jayce to do the same. Viktor presses himself up against his partner, who gently reaches behind himself to place Viktor's knee on his hip. Viktor moans softly as pressure eases from his hips, and goes limp. It feels good. Jayce chuckles softly like it never gets old hearing his love turn soft every night.
Viktor raises an arm above the covers and puts it over Jayce's side, hand splaying over his chest.
"Is this okay?" Viktor asks softly and gets just a hum in return as Jayce's eyes slip shut.
"I do love when you hold me." He slurs softly, and Viktor is very amused. He reaches to turn off their lamp and the room goes dark.
He goes to sleep hoping that his partner can eventually tell him what's wrong, but for now he just holds him a little tighter.
The next day they don't talk about it much besides Jayce muttering about how he feels better as he gets ready for the day, and makes them breakfast.
There's an awkwardness in the air that Viktor is not used to as Jayce plates their food. Viktor notices that his partner has served himself less than Viktor, which is... odd.
"Are you sure you are alright?" Viktor asks, taking a sip of his sweetmilk. The food looks great, it always does. Today it's fluffy crepes filled with whipped cream and berries. Along with some eggs on the side. Viktor frowns. "You love crepes. You will be hungry later, at least have more eggs."
Jayce doesn't meet his eyes as he serves himself more eggs, though he doesn't finish their spread like he usually does after Viktor has had his fill.
Viktor doesn't comment when he comes back from their bedroom after getting dressed, and finds the food gone and Jayce with a guilty look on his face.
They walk to the lab, which isn't far, and talk about their plans for the day. Jayce looks troubled despite saying he feels better, but Viktor lets it go.
"Perhaps you should stop by the forge today. Work off some of your excess energy? I believe it's been a few days, hasn't it?" He asks, cause sometimes all Jayce really needs is some movement to help him regulate that pesky anxiety.
Jayce suddenly looks offended. "I don't have excess energy to burn off, Vik."
"I believe your body says otherwise."
Jayce falters. "Yeah, sorry. I'll stop by later today." He looks so sad, and Viktor struggles to keep up with the mood swings.
Viktor ponders what could be wrong as he works through his morning equations, twirling his hair and lost in thought. He hears the crinkle of some sort of wrapper and his mind blanks, interest piqued.
"What are you eating?"
"Does it matter?"
Viktor gives him a look that says it all and Jayce sighs. "It's just a sandwich I packed for myself. In case I got hungry— uh, before lunch?" Viktor hums, getting up and moving over to Jayce.
"It's quite big for a snack."
"I know."
Viktor outstretches his hand and Jayce relaxes. Viktor hadn't realized his tension. "Oh— yeah, course love." Viktor has a couple bites and hums, content before going back to his desk.
Jayce goes to the forge at some point and without him in the lab reminding Viktor of the hour, time flies. He doesn't realize until Sky comes in.
"I must've lost track of the time." She chuckles as he begins packing his things. "That tends to happen without Jayce around to distract you."
They continue to make comfortable small talk when Sky notices something on Jayce's desk. She smiles as she gently brushes crumbs into a nearby trashcan. "Jayce has been looking well."
Viktor hums. "He always does." Sky shakes her head, smiling. "You mean you haven't noticed?"
Viktor purses his lips. "I'm not sure what you mean."
"I just thought, with you two being together now, that it must've been your doing? I guess not, forget I said anything." She hums, dusting off their chalk erasers.
"Alright. Though I am curious, I should have been heading back by now. Have a good evening, Miss Young." She nods and Viktor begins his trek to his partner's apartment.
"Viktor! I meant to stop by after the forge..." Jayce greets him with a kiss on the cheek and collects his things. "Dinner's ready, I made pasta." Viktor smiles, content in letting Jayce fuss.
They settle in for dinner rather quickly. Viktor's hungry and Jayce is... lively. "You were right about the forge, I really needed that. Felt good to feel strong, I guess." He trails off, bashful. Viktor hums and they eat the rest of the meal in comfortable silence.
Afterwards Jayce does the dishes while Viktor washes up. Somewhere along the line they end up cuddled on the couch. Viktor has a leg propped up on the coffee table and another against his chest, supporting the book he's reading. He's leaning against Jayce's side, who's working through one of his puzzles.
"You have been on that one for a while." Viktor glances at the nonogram, wondering what picture it'll make. It's still too early to tell. "I know, I just keep messing up these lines." Jayce runs his thumb across the lines in question.
"Maybe you need a fresh pair of eyes. You are probably rushing, knowing you." Viktor shuts his book and sets his legs down, leaning heavier onto Jayce as he examines the puzzle.
At some point, a hand wanders onto Jayce's hip, creeping just under his sweater to thumb at the soft skin. He doesn't notice, lost in thought.
Jayce squirms.
"Hey, stop that." Viktor mumbles, hand rising to hold his side. "I'm comfortable."
Jayce goes stiff, "Maybe I'll just continue this tomorrow. Fresh eyes, right?" He quickly shuts the puzzle book, chuckling nervously. He reaches to grab Viktor's hand and tugs it down gently to rest at his thigh instead.
Viktor doesn't have time to process it before Jayce is kissing him. He lets out a surprised sound before melting into it. This is comfortable too.
"Is this why you have been acting so strange? Have you just been, eh— pent up?" He asks, amused. Jayce's breath stutters.
"Just wanna make you feel good. I-I've been really bad lately." Jayce says that last part like he didn't mean to, rushed and now his face is flushing.
"Bad? No, I don't think so." Viktor frowns. "We do not have to do this, I'd rather not if you are still unwell."
"Maybe this will make me feel better."
"Perhaps we can compromise." Viktor contemplates.
He sets a pillow on the floor in front of him and Jayce immediately takes this as his cue. He sighs in relief as he gets in between Viktor's spread legs, resting his cheek on his thigh.
"You really needed this." Viktor murmurs, nails scraping gently along his scalp. Jayce hums noncommittally. "Are you going to tell me what it is exactly that has made you so worked up?"
"Mm"
Viktor chuckles at his partner's antics. deciding to let him slip for a bit, picking up his book again and getting lost in his imagination. After some time he gets bothered by a twinge in his stomach.
"Will you get me a snack, puppy? Something sweet, yes?"
Jayce looks up at him with glazed eyes, hands curled around Viktor's ankles. "M'kay love." He mumbles, so gentle, soft.
Jayce gets up on shaky legs, trembling a little. He steadies himself with his hands on his love's shoulders before padding off to the kitchen. Viktor leans back and watches, enjoying the view. Jayce cozied up in an oversized sweater after dinner and took off his pants, so he's just in his boxers. His legs are so long, thighs corded with thick muscle and something sweeter. Plush and—
"Hm?"
"Got a couple things. Wasn't sure what you felt like." Jayce says softly as he settles back down between Viktor's legs. Soft. Everything about him is so soft.
Viktor looks at what Jayce has brought for him. A couple cookies, sweetmilk, toast with clotted cream and jam, cheese cubes to cut the sweetness.
"Very good." Jayce melts and Janna, Viktor is so in love.
He alternates between nibbling on his snacks, petting and praising his puppy, and reading. It's very comfortable and Viktor loves how Jayce leans into his caresses.
After a particularly dramatic page, Viktor shuts his book and decides to take a break to focus more on his sweet puppy. Who's sunken deep into that fuzzy headspace they both love, looking small somehow, despite his stature.
Viktor picks up a cheese cube and brings it to Jayce's mouth.
"Mm."
Viktor laughs softly, "Good? Would you like more?" Jayce breaks eye contact and nods. He fiddles with his hands as Viktor feeds him a cookie, chocolate chip.
"Do you feel steady enough for toast?" Viktor asks softly, though he's already picking it up.
Jayce makes a soft agitated noise, and Viktor tilts his head. "It's okay," He murmurs, cupping a hand under the toast to catch any crumbs, bringing it up to his partner's lips. Jayce shuts them, pulling away slightly. Viktor purses his lips. "Full?"
"S'good, just probably shouldn't, right?" Jayce mumbles, head still clouded, looking up at Viktor for guidance. So dependent.
"I don't follow."
Jayce bites his bottom lip, "C'mon Vik, don't make me say it."
"I hope you know that I am going to make you say it."
Jayce groans and Viktor tries to mask his disappointment when he mutters "It'll probably give me trouble sleeping. Eating so late." More excuses.
Viktor finishes his food and gets up, patting Jayce's head. "We should get ready for bed."
They brush their teeth together in silence, Jayce helps Viktor out of his braces and pees while Viktor puts on some lotion, tending to the irritated skin his braces cradle.
Viktor decides to keep his clothes off, comfortable in just his boxers. He holds Jayce's hips while washes his hands. It's a sweet picture.
Viktor thinks he can make it even sweeter. He kisses Jayce's nape and peers over his shoulder. They make eye contact through the mirror and Jayce swallows at Viktor's mischievous gaze. Viktor trails kisses along his partner's collarbone.
"Take your clothes off?"
Jayce tenses. "I thought you didn't—"
"I don't. But that does not mean I can't enjoy my partner's handsome body." Viktor nuzzles his neck, making Jayce smile a bit, albeit still looking nervous.
Viktor hums and starts pulling up the hem of Jayce's sweater, slowly, like unwrapping a gift.
"Wait." Jayce grips the edges of the sink, breathing shakily.
Viktor pauses, eyebrows furrowing. There's a silence that follows, and Jayce feels too warm. Anxious.
"Is this about last night? You not wanting me to touch you?"
"Yeah."
Viktor drops the hem, instead settling on placing a hand atop Jayce's, easing him to hold his hand. He squeezes, using his other hand to turn off the bathroom light.
Viktor guides Jayce to their bedroom and sits on the edge of bed. "Shut off the lights, keep one on." He murmurs, trusting Jayce to do so and come back right where he needs him, and he does.
Jayce stands in front of Viktor, tense, and Viktor spreads his legs, guiding his partner to stand in between them.
Viktor looks up at Jayce. "You do not want me to see you. To touch you." He comments carefully, searching Jayce's face. Viktor holds his hand again and kisses his palm.
"Did you burn yourself in the forge again?"
"No." Jayce breathes. "No— it's not that."
"Then what is it? Is it me?"
"No! Gods, no— please don't think that. It's me, it's all me, m'so stupid." Jayce's voice cracks and the hand Viktor isn't holding tugs at his hair. Viktor squeezes his hand, and Jayce stops tugging, dropping it.
"You are not stupid." Viktor says sternly, his gaze earnest. "Can I see you? I promise whatever you are worried about— we can work on it. Together, like we always do."
Jayce swallows, looking pale with nerves. He puts a hand on his belly before flinching and dropping it. "Um..." His eyes squeeze shut. "C-Can you touch first?"
"Look at me?"
It takes a moment, but Viktor is patient. Eventually, Jayce seems to gather the courage to look at him. His breath hitches and he puts his hands on Viktor's shoulders. "Steady," Viktor murmurs, caressing his hip, before his hand trails up higher, rubbing along his side.
"You're tense, please relax." Viktor tries to say as softly as he can, though the anticipation has him on edge.
Eventually when Jayce forces his body to relax, Viktor's hand moves to splay on his midsection, feeling him breath. Viktor relaxes, he feels okay, unharmed. He feels—
Soft.
They don't speak. Jayce still looks so worried and Viktor wishes he could understand why.
Here goes...
Viktor slowly starts tugging Jayce's shirt up, and Jayce pulls it the rest of the way off, movements jerky.
Viktor's eyes trail, taking him in. Jayce stares at him cautiously.
"I don't—"
"I'm—"
They meet each other's gazes before laughing. "I fear I do not understand. What is the issue?" Viktor says gently, running a hand along his partner's belly. It's warm, a little firm from their dinner and the muscle lying underneath the softness.
Viktor's pupils dilate. Was he always this soft? He feels entranced suddenly, dizzyingly warm. He licks his lips.
"I'm sorry."
That pulls Viktor out of his daze. "For what?" His face scrunches up, so confused.
"I know that, I'm different— now." Jayce's eyes slip shut, breath stuttering. "It's not that I'm not trying— I swear I am."
"Trying to do what?"
"To change! Gods, to change. Everyday I look at myself and I'm— I'm—" Jayce trails off, huffing. "I look at myself and wonder if this will be the day I finally take it too far. The day you look at me and decide you don't want me anymore." Jayce's voice cracks and his eyes well up with tears. He sniffles and tenses but it doesn't seem like anything can stop the cascade of tears that run down his cheeks.
Viktor thinks his heart shatters. He hugs Jayce, burying his face in his partner's midsection as he sobs, apologizing with hiccuping breaths and quiet whimpers.
"Stop that— you are always apologizing." Viktor hears him apologize faintly at that too and he smiles sadly.
"So you were pulling away, because you were worried about how I would react to you, eh— gaining weight?"
Jayce's pouts, "You make it sound like it's not that big of a deal." he whines.
"Of course it's a big deal if it bothers you, but also— Jayce, you should realize that I like this, no?"
Jayce pauses, "What?" he sniffles, looking so bewildered. Yet, how could Viktor not love this?
"I think it is very attractive. Of course, it is your mind that I fell in love with, you're— eh, sweet charm? But I would not be opposed to the idea of there being more of you."
"Really?" Jayce looks like he's hanging off every word. Looking at Viktor like he hung the sun and the stars. Viktor sighs, relieved. "Yes."
They end up cuddled in bed, bare under the covers with their limbs tangled together. There's a hand resting on Jayce's stomach and a hand cradling Viktor's knee. Their bodies pressed together in the sanctuary of their bedroom. It feels like it's just them and their love.