Chapter Text
“Nancy! Come on, they’re gonna be on us any second, we gotta delta! Nancy! Do you hear me?! We gotta g-”
Growing up, Nancy always believed bad stuff only happened during dark and stormy nights. Like the earth had willed it to happen with her rage. People break up in the rain, crying tears that drenched the desert and fed hungry plants clinging on to life. They get their happily ever afters by riding off into sunsets and leaving everything behind in exchange for a new day. And the best moments of all happen underneath the twinkling stars, the night quiet enough to hear a scorpion scuttle across the sand. But the scorpions wouldn’t have the heart to sting someone and ruin such a beautiful night.
It was one of those nights, with clear skies speckled with stars. Nancy sat on the hood of her rusty old car taking in the view. She’d spent the last twenty two years underneath these stars, and somehow it never got old. Even on a night like this. A night that deserved enough rain to flood the wild west.
“Nancy?” A small, tired voice called from behind the car.
Nancy turned her neck an inch towards the voice, still looking out at the arid plain in front of her. “Go back to camp.” she ordered.
“Only if you do, too.” Panam replied, hopping onto the hood.
Nancy shook her head. “This time I’m for real. I’m done.”
Panam rolled her eyes. “You say that every time.”
“Yeah, but this time I mean it.” Nancy lifted the duffel bag in her hand onto the hood. Panam stared at it, processing.
“Well, then I’ll come with you!” She stood up, but Nancy pushed her backwards.
“You gotta stay.” Nancy said. “They need you, this family will fall apart with you-”
“-Without me?! You’re like the heart and soul of this fucking clan, Nancy!”
Nancy barked out a laugh. “You know that’s not true. Especially not since…” she shook her head dismissively. “I’m a thorn in their side, Panam. Only you, Mitch, and Scorp see it any other way.”
“So you’re just gonna run away.” Panam’s voice was heavy, angry. Nancy was used to it, Panam had had a temper since she could talk.
“I’m not running.” Nancy stood up and headed towards the driver’s side of the car, pulling Panam by the wrist along with her. The distant Night City skyline illuminate the badlands like moonlight. The sparkle of windows and neon lights, the holographic images blasting out into the stratosphere like a beacon guiding Nancy towards the city. It didn’t look like running away to her. It looked like the light at the end of the tunnel. “There’s something there for me, Panam, I know it. Something… more.”
“What, we’re not enough all of a sudden?” Panam tried to keep the rage in her tone, but the cracks in her voice cut through any kind of authority she wanted to maintain.
“You know we’re not. That’s why we went out there to begin with.” Nancy sighed. “It was a mistake, the clan weren’t ready, I know. But I am. I know I am.”
Panam crossed her arms, shaking her head. “Don’t do this, Nancy. Cause I’ll never fucking forgive you for it.”
Nancy opened the car door, tossing her duffel bag onto the passengers seat. “Look out for them, okay? I’ll see you round.”
Nancy got into the car, and Panam stepped in front of the door. “No. You won’t.” Panam slammed the door shut, and turned away, flipping Nancy off as she did so.
Panam always made sure to leave people before they left her. Or, at least, tried to convince herself she did so. Usually, as kids, it would result in her reluctantly walking up to Nancy next day with a soccer ball in hand and asking if Nancy wanted to play as if the words flowing out of her mouth disgusted her. She didn’t exactly do apologies, but she could never seem to hold grudges, either. No matter how much she wanted to.
She’ll call tomorrow. Nancy thought. She always does.
But this wasn’t a stupid fight over soccer, or supplies, or clothes. Nancy was the closest thing Panam had to a sister, and vice versa. And Nancy really was going. It would be a tough thing for Panam to forgive. For the first time in Nancy’s life she doubted she even would.
She turned the radio up as high as it could go, blasting music into the quiet night. It wouldn’t be quiet for much longer, the opening between the badlands and Rancho Coronado in sight. Nancy couldn’t think about Panam. Or Mitch and Scorp, Saul, the clan, Biotechnica…
Barbara…
Instead she thought of nights in the Afterlife. Of carving her name in Night City like a tornado scar over the great plains. The people would have to make way for her. Rogue Amendiares would have to reserve a seat for her. The city was going to change. Nancy would make sure of it.