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Like a Bulldozer

Summary:

"If you think that was nuts, the next band is gonna blow your mind then," Chaeyoung laughed, "They'll pull a bigger crowd, their vocalist is mental. She does the set in the mosh pit and goes berserk."

"Whats the band?" Jihyo asked, scanning over the merch tables for some indicator of what they may be in for.

"BLLDZR, that one there," Momo pointed out the table that had t-shirts, CDs and stickers covered in gory designs, "That's the vocalist at the back on her phone, Yoo Jeongyeon"

OR

Jihyo lets her friends convince her to join them out for a night of moshing at a hardcore punk show. As the night goes on, one of the bands vocalists, Jeongyeon, catches Jihyo's eye and she become intrigued to know more.

Notes:

Hello! My second upload after not sharing my fanfiction with the internet in 6+ years, how exciting! Thank you to everyone that commented on my first story, it gave me the confidence to edit and share this one!

This story is considerably softer than my first, no toxic BDSM lesbians here sowwy.

Liberal and casual use of the word 'dyke' here. Just flagging if that language isn't something you like to see.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Two beers and a coke!" Son Chaeyoung shouted to the bartender over the noise of the live band playing through us the dive bar.

Park Jihyo turned to Hirai Momo, speaking loudly in her ear,

"Who's running sober?"

"You Zyo!" Momo laughed back, "This isn't your scene, you gotta keep your wits about you."

Momo laughed harder at the incredulous look she was shot.

"We’ll get you some drinks a bit later. But trust me, you don't wanna get wasted before seeing the pit!"

Jihyo accepted her drink and sipped it, annoyed at being talked down to like a child. As Chaeyoung and Momo chatted to each other, Jihyo took a moment to really take in her surroundings.

The bar was packed with a lot of bodies in a tight space, a spot carved out of what was probably once a basement for the larger, bustling clubs and takeouts above them. Momo and Chaeyoung had brought Jihyo here to see a different side to Seoul's queer nightlife. Although a hardcore punk show hadn't been on her bucket list, the set list was entirely female fronted acts, and in Chaeyoung's words, this type of gig brings out all the dykes.

And she wasn't wrong, the patrons screamed alternative and queer. Young goths in heavy make up and intricate black corsets, butches with shaved heads in all denim, a woman with a bright pink mohawk and leather harnesses. Jihyo felt tame with her brown hair in a high ponytail, a simple denim skirt, black tank and bulky leather jacket, but at the same time she felt a comfort amongst this crowd she normally didn’t experience when going out drinking.

"Are we gonna watch the band?" Jihyo asked.

"We’ve seen these guys a few times, but we'll get up close on the next one, they're killer," Chaeyoung replied, looking Jihyo in the eye and grinning, "Go watch this set and let us know what you think of the pit."

Jihyo rolled her eyes. She'd heard all the stories from Chaeyoung about how people would get their noses broken at these types of shows, but the younger woman did have a penchant for the dramatic. Still, she took up the suggestion and weaved through the overcrowded bar, quietly resenting that she didn't have a drink to loosen her up.

The stage was at the back of the venue, although it was only about a foot from the concrete floor. It was challenging to get a look at the bands from afar amongst the crowd. But as Jihyo approached she could see movement. She shouldered her way through the outskirts and got her first look at a hardcore pit, quickly realising all the stories Chaeyoung told were true.

People threw themselves at each other with an intensity she'd only seen in contact sports. Young people jumping over each other, kicking out their legs, throwing their elbows, shouldering each other against brick walls. Jihyo was fascinated. She watched behind the comfort of a few layers of bodies who diligently upheld the invisible barrier between a spectator and a participant in the violence.

Jihyo felt a pull to be a part of it, but held back and observed. Watched the moments in the music that saw everyone jump in, watched the vocalist point back and forth and command people run at each other, watched the large grins on the faces of those being absolutely punished by the mosh.

When the band finished out their last song the crowd dispersed, people moving back up to the front of the venue to the bar. Jihyo found Chaeyoung and Momo nearby the merch stands where she'd left them.

"Thoughts?" Momo grinned at Jihyo.

"You guys weren't kidding, this stuff is nuts," Jihyo laughed, releasing a nervous energy she had been holding.

"How many in the pit?"

"I dunno, maybe a dozen in and out?"

"If you think that was nuts, the next band is gonna blow your mind then," Chaeyoung laughed, "They'll pull a bigger crowd, their vocalist is mental. She does the set in the pit and goes berserk."

"Whats the band?" Jihyo asked, scanning over the merch tables for some indicator of what they may be in for.

"BLLDZR, that one there," Momo pointed out the table that had t-shirts, CDs and stickers covered in gory designs, "That's the vocalist at the back on her phone, Yoo Jeongyeon"

Jihyo peered over shoulders of patrons crowding the merch tables and caught a glimpse of the woman in question.

A woman barely older than Jihyo stood with her head down and burrow furrowed, her black hair was shaved at the sides, edgy, choppy mullet that stopped mid neck. She wore a white band tee that was frayed at the sleeves and midriff from being cut short with scissors into a makeshift crop. The fit showed off an intimidating number of tattoos up her arms and over her stomach. She wore baggy black jeans with patches sewn into them, and Jihyo wondered how many more tattoos were hidden under the denim.

A small smile crept over Jihyo's lips, she felt compelled to know more.

"She's hot huh," Momo commented, sipping her beer.

Jihyo blushed, realising she'd been staring too long.

"You know her?" Jihyo questioned.

“We’ve met briefly,” Momo snickered.

“When she walked in on you and their bassist fucking in the bathroom last time they played a gig here,” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes.

“She has a name thank you,” Momo scoffed in mock indignance, “And lesson learned from last time, tonight I’ll be getting Mina in an Uber back to mine as soon as the gig’s over.”

“Nice to know you’ll be ditching us,” Jihyo laughed, sipping her coke.  

"You should ditch too unnie,” Chaeyoung chimed in, “Go say hi to Jeongyeon after their set."

"What? Just go up and say hello?" Jihyo felt hot under her skin at the thought, “The fuck would I say?”

"She’s just a dyke that sings in band, don’t over think it," Chaeyoung laughed as Jihyo finished her drink.

Jihyo took notice as Jeongyeon looked up from her phone and moved from the merch table towards the front of the stage. She watched from afar as the band assembled their gear, observing the serious expression on the vocalist has she helped lift amplifiers and plug in pedals. There was something there, a pull. And Jihyo had no intention of ignoring it.

The group moved down towards the stage, setting themselves up in a corner next to the stage. It was a high-risk, high-reward spot, they’d be right in the firing line for the pit, but they were close enough to see every member of the band on stage unobstructed. Chaeyoung was getting herself pumped for the mosh, but Momo decided to hold back and not leave Jihyo stranded.

As the guitarist gave a thumbs up to a sound tech, lights lowered and a heavy bass riff set a slow groove, building tension.

A spot light shone on Yoo Jeongyeon, her back turned to the audience. She brought the microphone up to her lips, and in a husky voice announced,

"We are BLLDZR."

A slow, loud drum beat started. Jihyo looked around the room and saw the crowd at the front start to get antsy, already bumping shoulders.

"We make music for queers. If that's you, get in the fucking pit."

A guitar riff started to chug and the tension rose higher in the room, everyone waiting the moment where it would all snap.

"And if you're not, get up in my fucking face before I get in yours."

And with that, the band kicked into gear at a blistering speed as the vocalist jumped from the stage and straight into the pit, letting out a scream that Jihyo could only describe as unholy.

The room transformed into a collective living entity as bodies jumped over each other, arms swinging wildly, legs kicked at all angles. Again, Chaeyoung was right, this crowd was on a whole other level than what Jihyo had seen earlier. She reminded herself to thank Momo for keeping her sober, because right out the gate the pair had their backs against the wall defending themselves from the onslaught.

And yet for all her fear, Jihyo had never felt more alive.

Her ears rung with the heavy metallic chug of the guitar, her bones vibrated under the bass tone, and her brain snapped at the inhuman speed of the drumming. But it all paled in comparison to the vocalist in the centre of the mosh, screaming into the mic with everything she had. She threw her body around recklessly, and Jihyo watched as a larger male threw an arm at her head, only for her to duck, drop her shoulder, and throw him off his feet in a rugby tackle.

After the song ended, Momo turned to Jihyo with a huge grin,

"How you holding up? Need to move to the back?"

"Fuck no!" Jihyo yelled back, "This is unreal!"

Momo gave her a nod as the next song started and the pair moved their eyes back to the pit.

The set was carnage, and yet in the middle of it all, Jihyo couldn't take her eyes off Jeongyeon. The woman was seasoned, she had a presence and charisma in her performance that drew people in. She knew exactly how to throw an elbow as she screamed out incomprehensible lyrics, and Jihyo wondered how someone could push their body like that. How someone could take a hit like it was nothing.

As the next song started, the vocalist motioned her arm in a circle above her head. Jihyo felt a tug from Momo.

"Jump in Zyo!"

Jihyo threw her jacket on the floor and entrusted Momo with her life as they joined Chaeyoung in the circle pit.

The circle drew an even larger crowd in. Bodies ran rings around the vocalist, pushing and shoving over each other to the atonal beat. Jihyo felt the heat and weight of others pressing against her, and threw her shoulders at anyone that pushed too close. She felt adrenaline coursing through her, a rush of joy she hadn't experienced before. She knew in an instant she was hooked. That she'd be back here doing this all over again.

Jihyo lost track of time as one song bled into another. She jumped in and out of the mosh, finding the windows with her friends without catching anything too aggressive. Still, she knew she'd wake up bruised tomorrow.

Jeongyeon announced the last song, a cover of an American band. Jihyo was floored to see so many people jump on the vocalist to scream lyrics into the microphone. A pile of bodies clamouring over each other to scream in unison,

"IT'S OKAY TO BE SAD. IT'S OKAY TO BE SICK."

The breakdown hit, and the pit deteriorated into fucking chaos. People dived on each other from the stage, no care for if they would be caught. Jihyo couldn't believe this was legal. Shit, maybe it wasn’t. But at the same time, she wanted to be right in the middle of it. Wanted to throw her body in such a way that she wouldn’t need to think of anything but the music pounding in her ears.  

As the set ended, she watched Jeongyeon, covered in sweat and shirt torn apart, emerge from the crowd and jump back up on stage to help her bandmates pack up their gear. The brunette picked up her jacket, and allowed her body to be moved back up to the front of the venue with the crowd.

At the top of the venue, Chaeyoung handed her and Momo a beer each.

“Congrats on your first mosh pit unnie!” Chaeyoung cheered, the three of them clinking their glasses together and taking a large sip.

“Yeah, you’re officially a woman or something,” Momo chuckled, eyes drifting to the back and watching as the bassist stepped off the stage with a heavy guitar case.

"Honestly, that was the most fun I've had in a long time," Jihyo exhaled still catching her breath.

"I've been pestering you for ages to come out with us," Chaeyoung playfully smacked Jihyo on the arm, then checked her phone, "Alright, I'm gonna head outside to call Tzuyu and check in before she goes to bed."

"You're such a good little girlfriend," Momo mocked with a grin.

"Yeah yeah,” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes with a smile, “You about to ditch us? Mina’s moving this way.”

"Guilty," Momo downed her drink, "Don't wait around for me, I'll be busy."

And with that, Momo didn't spare a look back at her friends before making a beeline to catch Mina on her path.

"Unnie, go chat up Jeongyeon while I’m outside, you’re obviously interested," Chaeyoung nodded her head towards the merch table where Jeongyeon sat down.

“How do you hit on tatted up punks Chaeya?” Jihyo asked, too genuinely for her liking.

"Just ask to buy her a drink, you’ll figure it out from there," Chaeyoung laughed in response, "I'll be back soon!"

With the second sign off, Jihyo was alone in the crowded bar. Chaeyoung was right.  No need to overcomplicate this. She swallowed her nerves and made her way to the merch stands.

Jeongyeon didn't look up from her phone as Jihyo looked over the goods on the table. The brunette bit her lip nervously, but as she caught a glimpse of what was on phone screen, she smiled,

"You must be the only person in this bar buying Lego online right now,"

Jeongyeon looked up, a small blush on the bridge of her nose. Jihyo felt a little tug in her chest as they locked eyes.

"Shit sorry, I'm in my own world," Jeongyeon apologised, a lopsided grin on her lips. The tug in Jihyo's chest pulled harder. She’s cute.

"Don't apologise, you must be wiped after your set," Jihyo was impressed with herself at how casual she sounded when her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest.

"Yeah, I kinda go into this blackout," Jeongyeon laughed, shy, embarrassed. Jihyo blinked, fascinated. It was the kind of self-conscious acknowledgement you'd make for sneezing too loud in public, not for screaming at people to kill each other as you elbowed them in the head,

"I got my shit rocked tonight, people went really hard."

"Yeah it's a shame about your shirt, but I think this is a better look for you anyway," Jihyo commented with a grin. Jeongyeon was sat in only a sports bra after her DIY crop top was destroyed in the pit. Jihyo took a page out of Momo's book and punctuated the sentence with a slow look up and down Jeongyeon's heavily tattooed body. She watched the vocalist swallow at the gesture.

"Park Jihyo," she outstretched her hand.

"Yoo Jeongyeon," the vocalist replied, taking Jihyo's hand in her own.

The two women held for too long, looking each other in the eye. Both searching for something they couldn’t put into words.

Jihyo moved first, withdrawing her hand.

"Look, I'm not great at subtly," Jihyo started, scratching her cheek as she held eye contact, "So I'll just come out and ask, can I buy you a drink?"

Jeongyeon went red and Jihyo felt her heart skip a beat. How is she this cute?

The tattooed woman just stared, blinking without a word. The silence was deafening and Jihyo felt her confidence waver,

"Sorry, if you have a girlfriend or something you can say so," Jihyo tried to act nonchalant, attempting to keep a familiar sting of rejection at bay.

"No no, not at all," Jeongyeon shook her head, "Sorry, I'm uh not used to being hit on so directly. I'd love to get a drink."

"Would you prefer I play indirect then?" Jihyo teased, tilting her head with a smirk.

Jeongyeon laughed loudly and stood up, shuffling between tables to stand next to Jihyo.

"No, direct is great. I'm an idiot, I can't figure out when someone's hitting on me, then waste my time chasing straight girls."

Jihyo laughed this time.

"Well I can confirm I'm not straight and I'm definitely hitting on you,"

Jeongyeon smiled warmly as they both headed to the bar.

---

"Do you smoke?"

"I'm trying to quit."

"So that's a yes then?"

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes as she and Jihyo walked away from the pit. The final band had finished for the night and both women were covered in sweat. Jeongyeon had busted her lip from where the heel of a shoe clipped her. Although she'd walked away lightly compared to the guy that kicked her after she was done with him.

Jihyo already had bruises raising on her thighs, but she knew she'd be far worse off if Jeongyeon hadn't pushed her out during particularly violent breakdowns.

"I'll take one if you're offering. I need some air anyway."

Jihyo held back a laugh as Jeongyeon flashed her a bloody grin.

The pair grabbed their jackets from the back of the merch table and ascended the stairs from the underground bar, wincing at the cool fresh air the late night brought.

Jihyo checked her phone for the first time in an hour.

One text from Chaeyoung, 'My mission is complete, I'm heading home. Hope you get lucky, can't wait to drag you to more gigs. Text me when you get home <3'

One text from Momo, ‘Splitting, text you tomorrow

Jihyo exhaled a short chuckle and sent reactions to each before following Jeongyeon around the corner to a short alleyway.

Jihyo pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket.

"Wouldn't expect a pretty girl like you to smoke," Jeongyeon teased as she took the offering and placed it in her mouth.

"It’s my only escape from the department store counter," Jihyo mumbled around the cigarette on her lips as she pulled out a lighter.

“Yeah, restaurant work for me. Can’t be a chef and not be a chain smoker.”

“Pretty sure that’s a required subject in culinary school.”

“I would’ve gotten extra credit if it was.”

The wind picked up and Jihyo struggled to get the lighter started, flicking the ignitor and getting only sparks.

"Come here," Jeongyeon took Jihyo's hand and turned her so they could face each other. She moved in and pressed the tips of the cigarettes together, then hovered her hand as a barrier to the breeze. Jihyo blushed as she successfully started the lighter, holding the flame between the two cigarettes, lighting them both. She couldn't take her eyes off Jeongyeon's as the flame flickered between them, the glow illuminating her face. Somehow this felt more intimate than a kiss.

Jihyo pulled away, leaning back against the brickwork and taking a long drag. The night air was refreshing after escaping the stifflingly hot venue. Jeongyeon pressed her shoulder up close to Jihyo's, and the shorter woman couldn't help but rest her head on the vocalists shoulder. It felt strangely comfortable to share that together, lingering in silence as they smoked.

"I can't believe this is your first time at a hardcore show," Jeongyeon chuckled as she took a drag, "You were pretty game."

"Yeah," Jihyo grinned, flicking ash away, "I haven't gotten out of my comfort zone in a long time. Felt really good."

"You should come see us play again sometime. Next month we’re putting on a house show, it’ll get pretty crazy."

"Are you inviting me for a house show, or a house call?" Jihyo grinned, turning her head to look up at the short haired woman. Jihyo saw a blush creep over the bridge of her nose.

Jeongyeon averted eye contact and mumbled around her cigarette,

"Pretty bold question when we haven't even kissed."

Jihyo grinned wider.

"Fix that then."

And with that request, Jihyo was pressed back against the wall, Jeongyeon's hand next to her head.

"Something about you really winds me up."

"Maybe that I see through that tough persona and see a big softie?"

Jeongyeon finished her cigarette, flicking away the butt and blowing smoke to the side. She let out a short laugh,

"You make me feel like a doting schoolgirl,"

Jihyo threw her own cigarette at her feet and stamped out the embers. Her hands found Jeongyeon's jacket and she tugged, begging for the gap to close between them. Jihyo replied, voice softer, sincere,

"Kiss me like one,"

Jeongyeon's blush deepened as she accepted the bid and moved in to press her lips against Jihyo's. The younger woman felt her body relax under the kiss as she allowed Jeongyeon to lead, gripping the vocalist’s jacket tighter, pulling her closer. Hand’s found Jihyo's waist, confidence growing with every kiss. Jihyo couldn't help but melt under the touch, wrapping both arms around Jeongyeon's neck, letting herself be taken by someone who said so much with her hands.

Jihyo felt a heat build in her body and felt she might scream if she couldn't get this woman in bed as soon as possible. As if on cue, Jeongyeon mumbled,

"Are we moving this elsewhere?"

"My apartment is a couple blocks away" Jihyo replied against persistent lips.

"Only if you want me over," Jeongyeon husked as she moved her lips to Jihyo's neck, leaving hot kisses that almost stung against the cold night air.

"Jeong, you have no fucking idea how much I want you," Jihyo stiffled a moan as the older woman nipped her collar, hands moving south to the hem of the younger womans skirt.

"Very mutual," she replied hotly, fingers creeping under the short skirt and up Jihyo's thighs.

"Let’s head back in, I’ll order the Uber," Jihyo breathed, hands on Jeongyeon's shoulders, pushing her away lightly to catch her breath, knowing that if this continued, both would end up easily convinced to escalate to a place too risky for such a public spot.

---

"It's small, but it means I don't have to live in a share house," Jihyo said, shrugging off her jacket in the doorway and kicking off her boots. She was always embarrassed by the little studio apartment she called a home.

"It's cosy," Jeongyeon smiled with warm sincerity as she kicked off her shoes and peered around. There wasn't much to the space, but Jihyo had done a lot with very little.

"Can I get you anything?" Jihyo asked, stepping further into her home. Jeongyeon paused and looked the shorter woman up and down in only her tank top and denim skirt.

"You don't have to play the host Jihyo," Jeongyeon said softly as she slowly took off her jacket and hung it up by the door. She looked Jihyo in the eye as she lifted the sports bra over her head and casually discarded it on the floor.

The brunette felt her heart flutter in looking over Jeongyeon's tattooed body under the hallway light. She looked so strong, so confident, so fucking hot. Jihyo let out a sigh filled with need when she realised she'd never seen pierced nipples in the flesh before.

Jeongyeon stepped forward, closing the gap and kissing Jihyo deep and slow. It wasn't the usual flurry of rough kisses, clothes being ripped off, getting to the bed as quick as possible that Jihyo was accustomed to in her hook ups. It was an embrace, an exploration. Jihyo shivered in realising that this was a woman that would take her time with her body. It only made her all the more flushed.

The kiss developed a heat, an insensity and as Jihyo felt Jeongyeon's strong hands move to her ass and lift her, she happily jumped into strong arms, wrapping her legs around the older woman's middle.

Jihyo's arms fell naturally around Jeongyeon's neck as she was carried through her home and placed down on the bed with Jeongyeon on top, straddling her. Jihyo swiped her tongue over Jeongyeon's bottom lip, catching the split, no longer bleeding but still tasting of copper. Jeongyeon invited her further, opening her mouth for Jihyo's tongue to snake over her own. It was long, sensual, messy. Jihyo wondered when the last time was that she just kissed someone for as long as they did.

Jeongyeon's hands ran under her tank, feeling over her toned muscles, each touch heavy with want. The younger woman felt flushed by the movements of her hands. Assertive, attentive, curious. This was someone that wanted to know what every button did as she pressed it. Someone who saw Jihyo's body as something to be treasured, not a thing to be concurred. Jeongyeon picked the right word earlier in describing herself. Doting.

Jihyo melted under the tenderness, opening herself up to receive a type of affection not felt in years. Jeongyeon's kisses moulded with hers so perfectly, her body held the right weight above her, it felt too right. 

Jeongyeon's lips moved south, her breath hot against warm skin. The brunette shivered as she tightened her arms around the vocalist’s neck.

"Where's that pretty head at? What are you thinking baby?" Jeongyeon husked in her ear as fingertips traced under the wire of a black bra.

"How good your hands feel," Jihyo felt almost vulnerable, all of her so present in this moment, "How much I want you inside me."

"Mm, we'll get there. No rush," Jeongyeon hummed, a smile pressed to Jihyo's neck as hands moved to her back. The younger woman arched to allow her bra to be unstrapped, breath hitching as Jeongyeon sat up and undressed her like she was a gift. Like she was delicate.

As her tank and bra were discarded on the floor, Jihyo saw the older woman's eyes run over her with deep want. Jeongyeon looked so good straddling her hips and looking over her like this. Her own full chest heaving as her hands cupped Jihyo's tits.

"God you're gorgeous," the tattooed woman breathed, causing Jihyo to cover her face in a deep blush. She didn't see as Jeongyeon dipped her head, kissing her hard nipples. The unexpected sensation pulled a moan from the younger woman that the older took as encouragement to continue her slow kisses over hard buds.

"Fuck," Jihyo hissed, arms falling from her face, eyes closed as she felt a tongue weave over her skin.

"Good?" Jeongyeon whispered, a smirk tugging the corner of her lips.

"So good. Please don't stop," Jihyo breathed, her nipple being enveloped in a hot, wet mouth that sucked slowly. She felt so desired, so wanted. Jeongyeon spoiled her body with attention. Hands so confident in their ability to find the sensitive spots, her mouth moving with such hot precision over her tits.

Jihyo squirmed, the pressure between her legs building the longer the older woman worked at her. Nipping and sucking and licking, it was sending Jihyo insane at how good this woman was with her mouth. By the time Jeongyeon came up for air her tits were a mess of spit. Wet and sensitive and so thoroughly worshipped.

Jeongyeon moved her lips lower, tracing the underside of Jihyo's breasts, moving her body downwards to allow more access for her affections.

The brunette bit her lip, moaning at the heat of kisses over her ribs, her sides, her stomach. It was slow, meaningful. These were spaces just as special and deserving of sentiment than any other spot on Jihyo's body. And Jeongyeon had every intention of making it so every inch of skin felt her warmth. 

Hands moved down, slipping under the short denim skirt and holding Jihyo's thighs. Thumbs teased inwards, catching the dip between her core and thighs. Jihyo groaned at the presses, her body burning. She had no idea that she could get so worked up by just having her stomach kissed and thighs held like this.

Jihyo moved her hands from the bedsheets and cupped Jeongyeon's face, tilting up to look in her eyes. The brunette held back a sigh at the look of passion she received. The vocalist leaned into the touch, turning to kiss Jihyo's palms. The younger woman couldn't find the words to describe how intimate this felt. Her hands felt electric under such beautiful praise.

Kisses paused, and Jeongyeon looked back up at Jihyo.

“Where do you want me baby?”

Jihyo swallowed in an attempt to catch her breath before she moved her fingers down to unbutton her skirt. Jeongyeon pulled up to sit as she watched Jihyo undressed for her. The younger woman watched the rise and fall of the tattooed woman's chest as her breathing increased at the sight of the naked body before her. Jihyo threw the remaining clothes away and spread her legs, showing off despite her embarrassment. The older woman had taken such care and time in her touches, Jihyo felt she deserved to see everything.

Jihyo moved her hands to her core, spreading her folds and revealing her pink, flushed pussy. Jeongyeon groaned at the sight, her hands finding their place back on quivering thighs, pawing and squeezing. Jihyo felt a fuzz in the back of her head at the sensations coursing through her body like electricity as she held herself open for the older woman.

“Here. I want you right here,” Jihyo said with a softness she didn’t recognise in herself.

Jeongyeon moved her fingers to softly touch the back of Jihyo's hands, looking up at her as she lowered herself to lay between muscled thighs.

The older woman placed her palm just above Jihyo's core, pressing lightly as she leaned in and ran her tongue up the younger woman’s wet slit. The younger woman groaned and threw her head back as Jeongyeon took long slow licks up her cunt, gathering as much of her arousal on her tongue as possible. The tenderness of the hands touching hers, the feeling of Jeaongyeon’s hot tongue snaking over her folds, it was driving Jihyo crazy. She felt her body react, her slit becoming wetter with every motion. The air felt thick, heavy. Her body was surging with a very physical need, but her brain was fixated on the slow tenderness she was receiving. She wanted to receive this kind of attention forever, but at the same time she needed a release of all the pressure she was holding.

"Jeong," Jihyo breathed, barely above a whisper.

"Tell me what you need," the tattooed woman replied with a whisper, lips wrapping around Jihyo’s clit and pulling a filthy moan from the younger woman as her fingers moved to Jeongyeon’s choppy hair.

“I-I need you to fuck me, please, I need it,” Jihyo whimpered, struggling to contain herself as Jeongyeon looked up at her whilst swirling her clit over her tongue.

The older woman moved her fingers between slick folds, coating them in wet arousal, and teasing Jihyo’s entrance with gentle pressing.

"Please," Jihyo whispered, arching her hips to invite more and gripping the tattooed woman’s hair tighter as she unravelled.

One finger slipped inside the wet warmth and the vocalist moaned at finally being filled, a relief already running over her, tingling the tension held in her shoulders. Hot messy kisses were placed on Jihyo’s clit, and it only took a few tactful pumps before a second finger was added, causing the brunette to groan with satisfaction.

“So tight, fuck,” Jeongyeon groaned against her flushed cunt, pumping deep and slow and working the younger woman open with such patience that Jihyo thought she might cry at the tenderness. The brunette held messy hair tight as she took everything being given to her. It felt good. Too good. She couldn't hold back the groans escaping from her as Jeongyeon's lips brushed over the most sensitive spots on her clit whilst curling her fingers inside.

"Is this what you wanted?" Jeongyeon's breath ghosted over Jihyo's skin and the brunette thought she may unravel all at once at the sensation.

Fuck- yes, yes, so much,” Jihyo groaned, as Jeongyeon fucked harder, picking up her pace. She pushed deeper, curling her fingers and causing Jihyo's body to jolt in response.

"Right there, shit- right there."

No more encouragement was needed. The older woman buried her fingers deep and curled upwards. Jihyo's body jolted again and a string of moans fell out of her. Jeongyeon had pinpointed the spot that made Jihyo go dumb with pleasure. The spot she more often guarded in wishing to maintain levels of composure in the arms of another. But this was different. Jeongyeon was different. This woman had worshipped her so thoroughly, so carefully, so attentively. How could Jihyo hide this from someone that made her feel so adored?

Jeongyeon pressed her free palm down harder against her abdomen, increasing the pressure as she set her fingers to the perfect pace, the perfect angle.

“Fall apart for me baby, I’ve got you,” Jeongyeon breathed, latching her lips on Jihyos clit and sucking hard in rhythm with her fingers.

The softness of the words is what truly broke Jihyo as she was hit with the hardest orgasm she'd had in a very long time. The younger woman felt herself clench hard around the older, trapping her fingers in place as she came. Jihyo's mind went blank, able to only receive the pulses running up her body and into her brain. The weight of Jeongyeon's hand on her abdomen, the fingers filling her so deeply, the lips sucking her clit, fuck, it was so wonderfully overstimulating, how was she meant to focus? Jeongyeon worked her through every wave, met her hips with every twitch and quiver as her cunt gushed against an eager tongue.

As the throws of her orgasm subsided and the afterglow came through, Jeongyeon slowly withdrew her fingers. The older woman looked down at the mess and groaned quietly,

"Fuck that looks good."

Jihyo blushed at being spoken about in such a way, her brain fuzzy and warm in her comedown. She replied softly,

"Give me a taste."

Jeongyeon moved up the bed, kissing Jihyo deep. The kiss felt assuring, the older woman's weight pressing and grounding the brunette in this moment. The kiss was too sweet for what the pair was sharing. That word circled Jihyo's head again. Doting.

Jihyo’s hands moved to Jeongyeon’s middle, undoing her belt and unzipping her jeans. The older woman kicked the fabric off her frame, kissing Jihyo harder as the embrace found heat again. Jihyo felt something needy. She felt like there was something inside her that could be fixed if she just kept kissing this woman over and over. If she just pressed closer.

Jihyo’s fingers slipped under checkered boxers and she groaned into Jeongyeon’s mouth at the wet mess she found there.

“So wet, fuck,” Jihyo sighed, melting at how turned on this woman got from fucking her.

“All for you,” Jeongyeon moaned, pulling back from the kiss to remove her boxers. The older woman moved back between Jihyo’s legs, and the younger woman could see she was right in her assumption that a lot more tattoos were hidden underneath those jeans.

Jeongyeon lifted Jihyo’s legs, manoeuvring them to lock against her own. Jihyo’s breath hitched as Jeongyeon lowered her hips, pressing their cunts together, an obscenely wet sound filling the room.

Holy shit,” Jihyo groaned guttural, her sensitive clit catching on Jeongyeon’s and sending a surge of electricity up to her skull.

Jeongyeon groaned under the contact, a bead of sweat running down her temple as she grinded her hips, fucking herself against Jihyo’s pussy.

“Fuck that’s hot,” Jeongyeon dropped her head, closing her eyes for a moment as she found a rhythm that had her seeing stars.

“Feel good baby?” Jihyo bit her lip, rolling her hips to meet Jeongyeon’s thrusts, lids hooded with lust as she watched the older woman slowly unravel against her.

“So fucking good,” Jeongyeon breathed, leaning down to capture Jihyo’s lips in a rough kiss, something primal building between the pair in the hot, thick air, “Like you were made for me.”

“All for you. Yours,” Jihyo panted, hands finding full breasts and squeezing as Jeongyeon groaned deep again. Jihyo ran her fingers over pierced nipples, teasing and pinching as the older woman dropped her head in the crook of her neck and hissed.

"Sensitive?" Jihyo whispered with lust filled curiosity, tracing over the silver bars.

Jeongyeon nodded fast, breath ragged.

"Yeah, makes me fucking weak.”

Jihyo couldn’t help but grin at the information so deliciously offered, pinching harder and bucking her hips up, grinding against Jeongyeon’s clit. The older woman swore loudly into Jihyo’s skin, and the younger woman couldn’t help but relish in how little it took to see such a strong woman fall apart for her. The noises falling from the older woman's lips were addicting, and Jihyo wanted to find every spot that made her sigh and moan.

Jeongyeon pulled up and Jihyo’s hands kneaded and pawed her breasts as the older woman placed one hand on her thigh, one on her hip, and worked her thrusts at an angle that was decadent. Jihyo was moaning like crazy, incredibly turned on at feeling the arousal of their cunts mixing and sliding together, the dripping down her thighs.  

“Do you wanna cum like this?” Jihyo breathed, feeling the knot in her stomach tightening, feeling Jeongyeon’s motions growing more frantic as the bucked and thrust their cunts together.

“Yeah, I wanna cum against you,” Jeongyeon bit her lip, chasing her orgasm hard as she watched Jihyo tense beneath her.

Jihyo’s chest swelled at the words. She loved that she could have such a strong effect on this woman. Loved the fact that Jeongyeon was breaking apart for her.

“Kiss me baby, I need you to kiss me when we cum,” Jihyo begged, hot and heavy. Jeongyeon had no chance in surviving the request, feeling her hips give out as their lips pressed together and she came against Jihyo’s cunt.

Jeongeyons groans and desperate kisses were all Jihyo needed as she was hit with her own orgasm, feeling the weight of the older woman’s body press against her own and slipping into the bliss of connection.  

The pair remained entangled in each other for a long time, breathy kisses being exchanged as both of them rode the comedown, allowing themselves to get lost in each other and the closeness they were experiencing.

In time, Jeongyeon rolled to the side, laying on her back to catch the last of her breath as Jihyo cuddled up to her side.

“You’re too much fun,” Jeongyeon breathed, eyes closed and a content smile on her face. Jihyo blushed. Cute cute cute.

“You want a glass of water?”Jihyo asked warmly, placing a light peck on Jeongyeon’s cheek.

“That sounds amazing,” the older woman smiled with soft sincerity as Jihyo peeled her body away to walk to her kitchen.

She returned with two glasses, handing one to Jeongyeon as she sat against the headboard. Jihyo joined her, sipping silently, looking over the artwork covering the older woman’s body.

"Checking out all the ink?"

"Yeah, I can't imagine how many hours went into all of that."

Jeongyeon's skin was a tapestry of bold blackwork tattoos. Traditional designs covered large amounts of space, painting beautiful pictures of black artistry.

"My friends and I ran a tattoo studio out of our house for awhile," Jeongyeon chuckled as she looked over the piece work that framed her body with fondness and pride, "By the time one would heal, I'd already started the next one."

Jihyo was impressed to say the least. She only had one small tattoo on the back of her shoulder, fine line flowers that curved with the bone. She couldn't imagine sitting for as long as Jeongyeon would have to be covered in so many.

"Are any healing now?"

"Nah, I've slowed down. My last one was a few months ago."

"Can I look longer?"

"Only if you promise to use your hands."

Jihyo giggled as her fingers traced the dark lines, Jeongyeon wrapping a strong arm around her shoulder and pulling Jihyo closer. She outlined the centrepiece of Jeongyeon’s stomach, two large traditional tigers faced each other, teeth barred and claws sharp. Jihyo thought of laying in bed and inspecting every detail across the older woman’s body, but shook the thought away for the moment.

“You wanna stay the night?” Jihyo asked softly, “We can shower, I can look at more of your tattoos.”

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You can't be shy after you just fucked me like that," Jihyo shot a wicked grin to the older woman who chuckled and squeezed her shoulder.

"In that case, what are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Typical Sunday errands, shopping for the week, pay my bills, clean my sheets."

"Can you find time in your schedule for a date?"

"I'm sure I can pencil something in."

Jihyo hid a blush as she took their empty glasses and stood to take them to the kitchen sink.

She felt a prescene behind her, and a warmth blanketed her back in a tender embrace. Arms held her around her middle, and Jihyo traced her fingers over a forearm that displayed a large dragon twisting through the clouds.

Jeongyeon rested her chin on Jihyo's shoulder,

“I like you Park Jihyo. Maybe a little too much.”

She turned her head and kissed Jeongyeon's cheek softly, the older woman turning her head to catch her lips in a chaste kiss.

“I like you too Yoo Jeongyeon. A lot.”

“Are we gonna shower?”

“Hmm, I think we can make a bit more of a mess before that.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Notes:

Thoughts, feelings, opinions?

Listen, I love heavy music so much. Going out to hardcore punk shows is one of my greatest joys and have made some of my happiest memories. If you're curious as to the type of music BLLDZR play, the song they were covering is called 'It's Ok to Be Sick' by The HIRS Collective. It's not for everyone, but if you like it, leave a comment and I'll spam you with recommendations.

I hope to follow this up eventually with a second part, I think there's room to grow here. If you have suggestions for direction, I would LOVE to hear it. Please do not hold your breath though, this may live as a oneshot forever.

(I don't have other socials, if anyone knows the author butchyeon, can you send this to them, I have a little crush on their stories)

((guys I love being queer so much, what a blessing))

Chapter 2

Notes:

Hi hi! A follow up to what was meant to be a oneshot!

Sorry if there might be sections of Part 1 that don't align now, I wrote it quite awhile ago and more recently uploaded it. I recently got hit with major inspiration and have picked up writing it again.

Release schedule will be quite slow, I don't really know where I'm taking this one (sorryyyyy) but I wanted to put this out anyway because I love you all so much and I love this AU so much.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The street was bustling with youth, congregating to smoke and drink out the front of the residential home tucked away in the outer corners of Seoul. Vibes were boisterous, fun, excited, amongst the groups on the street considering it was still the early evening. No one yet too drunk, too high, too wasted. But that would likely deteriorate as the sun set and the music started.

Yoo Jeongyeon leaned in the doorway of the small townhouse that was the acting venue for tonight's house show. Five local hardcore bands, 20-minute sets, get in and get out. Jeongyeon was crunching the numbers already crowding the streets, figuring out where everyone would fit when they opened up the house for gig goers to start moving inside. Figuring out how many more tickets would be responsible to sell at the door. Figuring out if there was enough merch set up in the backyard for people to buy.

But that wasn't the only reason Jeongyeon was scanning the incoming crowds. She was looking for someone. Park Jihyo. Short, fiery, and fucking hot, Park Jihyo. The woman that suddenly dropped into Jeongyeon's life four weeks ago and who she couldn't stop thinking about, couldn't stop texting. Jihyo had excitedly agreed to come out to the house show tonight with her friend Momo, and Jeongyeon couldn't help but be antsy in waiting for her to arrive. After the night they'd spent together in Jihyo's apartment and the date they'd been on the morning after, the pair hadn't been able to align their schedules to meet again until tonight. And although texting helped, Jeongyeon was growing desperate to see Jihyo in person again. She was nuts about this woman, but trying so hard to play it cool and not come on too strong.

Jeongyeon checked her phone again. Reopened the last text from Jihyo letting her know she was on the train. 30 minutes ago. Surely not long now.

"Dude, you need to chill."

Jeongyeon turned her head to her best friend and the small framed bassist of BLLDZR, Myoui Mina. The younger woman peered at Jeongyeon's phone and the text exchange between her and Jihyo.

"What happened to not going all psycho on this girl?" Mina grinned, handing Jeongyeon a beer, "Thought you were playing it cool?"

"I'm trying here," Jeongyeon took a gulp of the beer, knowing she needed to loosen up, "But she sees right through me anyway. She knows I'm a massive dork."

"Yeah and she thinks it's cute. She thinks you're cute," Mina snickered, looking her friend up and down. Mullet shaggy, the sides darker from grow-out, black tank hugging her frame and showing off intimidating arms of heavy tattoos. Black baggy shorts, black socks, and black low-cut Dr Martens completed the full monochromatic look that told anyone in an instant 'fuck with me and you'll leave in an ambulance'.

"Just remember you have self-respect now, yeah? You broke it off fully with her, right?" Mina asked tentatively, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, I mean, I texted her that I wasn't gonna see her anymore. And I blocked her," Jeongyeon sipped her beer and went back to looking outside.

"Jeong, how many times have you done that already though? She's not gonna take it seriously," Mina pressed, annoyed and concerned at the same time.

"I'm working on it. Jihyo and I have only been on one date. We haven't talked about being exclusive or anything. So it's not a problem yet."

"It's not about being exclusive, it's about her keeping you on the hook when you're the one that dumped her," Mina said with annoyance, "It's about you walking away then running right back. You'll fuck this thing up with Jihyo if you-"

"Yeah well it's not gonna happen again, alright?" Jeongyeon snapped, shooting Mina a look. Just fucking drop it.

"Alright, alright," Mina exhaled, putting her hand up in surrender as she sipped her own beer, "Is Jihyo bringing Momo along tonight?"

"Yep," Jeongyeon said coolly, "What's the deal there?"

"Momo's hot. Momo's down bad and wants more," Mina smiled, sipping her beer again, "Playgirl type, she hates that I won't give her my number."

"Yeah because every healthy relationship starts with playing hard to get, right?"

"Who said I wanted one?" Mina shot back, icy, "You're not really the benchmark for healthy relationships, Yoo Jeongyeon."

"Ouch," Jeongyeon chuckled, scanning the crowd more closely again before catching two women making a beeline for the house, weaving through the crowd, "Speak of the devils."

Mina made herself scarce and Jeongyeon descended the steps of the house, heart beating loud in her chest as she leaned over the gate on her stomach, waving to Jihyo and Momo as they approached the courtyard.

"Hi gorgeous," Jeongyeon grinned, leaning in to press a kiss on Jihyo's cheek.

"Hi handsome," the younger woman grinned in return, pulling Jeongyeon in for a proper kiss hello. The punk melted at such a bold public gesture, kissing Jihyo hard in return.

"Tell me this place has bedrooms and you'll both promise to find one so I'm not subjected to this all night," Momo patted Jihyo on the back, prompting the younger woman to pull away, flushed and grinning.

"Wanna give me the tour?" Jihyo winked to Jeongyeon, placing her hand on the low gate and swinging her legs over, Momo following behind her.

Jeongyeon just laughed as Jihyo joined her in the courtyard.

"I can but it's not my house, Mina and our guitarist live here," Jeongyeon chuckled.

"Oh really?" Momo grinned, eye brows raised, not even bothering to hide her motives from the pair.

Jeongyeon just rolled her eyes, leading the pair up the steps and into the home, people moving through the small townhouse carrying guitars, drums, amps, and gear, setting up the living room for the show that was soon to start.

"You're gonna get all those people in here?" Jihyo looked around, wide eyed.

"And then some. Gonna get messy," Jeongyeon grinned, running her fingers through her mullet, "We sold out of tickets online, there'll still be folks rolling in late wanting to pay at the door. Gonna be a big turnout."

"I might actually die tonight," Jihyo released a short laugh.

"I'll keep you safe," Jeongyeon smiled at the younger woman, moving her hand to touch Jihyo's, the younger woman interlocking their fingers. The punk looked over her shoulder and realised Momo had disappeared, almost definitely on the hunt for Mina. Or trying to sneak a look at her bedroom upstairs.

The space steadily became louder as the courtyard gate was opened and punks and partygoers had their tickets scanned in their phones and wrists stamped, allowing them to move through the house and yards. Tables were set up on the back porch for people to buy merch, Jeongyeon and Jihyo sitting behind the BLLDZR table and spending most of the early evening looking out over the people moving through the backyard, drinking, smoking, occasionally buying the odd sticker or cassette from Jeongyeon who made no attempts at small talk in between chatting with Jihyo.

"How often do you put these on?" Jihyo sat back in a fold-out chair, sipping a beer. It was warm, humid, the late spring air sitting sticky, and Jihyo was showing off a delicious amount of skin in black short shorts and a short t-shirt that revealed her abs when she leaned back.

"House shows? Like, every 3 months or so," Jeongyeon replied, slightly distracted by the younger woman's fingers absent mindedly tracing over the spider web tattooed on her kneecap, "Try to move it between a few of us in bands around the city. Hard when most of us live in apartments though."

Jeongyeon smiled in recollection,

"Back in the day, heaps of us lived together in this super sketchy house on the outskirts of the city. We used to do shows there all the time. Sometimes I'd come home from the work at the restaurant and there'd be a whole gig happening in the living room that I didn't even know about."

"Same house you guys ran a tattoo shop out of?" Jihyo asked, genuinely curious.

"One and the same," Jeongyeon took a sip of her beer, "Crazy times."

"Fun times?" Jihyo pressed, seeing something under the surface.

"Some of it yeah," Jeongyeon smiled small, "But there's a lot of reasons I don't live there anymore. Mina too."

The older woman turned to Jihyo with a smile.

"Maybe stories for another time. Don't wanna be a mood killer."

"Don't just throw that around," Jihyo smiled warmly, squeezing Jeongyeon's knee, "Because I'll hold you to it. I will lock you in for a trauma dump date."

Jeongyeon laughed hard at the reply.

"What's that?"

"I dunno, I just made it up," Jihyo shrugged, taking another sip from her beer with a grin, "Seems like a good idea though. Maybe get some takeout, put on a movie we won't watch and just like, tell each other the worst shit that's ever happened to us."

"That's the most fucked up Netflix and chill invitation I've ever heard," Jeongyeon cackled, finishing her beer.

"Yeah, but we'll be like, fully bonded by the end of it right?" Jihyo chuckled, "Or we'll realise we aren't compatible and part ways on the mutual agreement to never share that shit with another soul."

"Sounds super low risk and like nothing could possibly go wrong."

"Right? Crazy that they won't promote me beyond middle management at work when I'm obviously a genius," Jihyo finished her beer and stood up, stretching her back and warming up her muscles for the upcoming band that could currently be heard running a soundcheck.

Jeongyeon stared at Jihyo's shirt riding up and muscles flexing without a hint of shame, the younger woman making a show of it when she bent over the touch her toes, inviting eyes to her tight ass. Jeongyeon bit her lip at the display. She was hot and bothered and ready to ditch her own event if it meant getting her hands down Jihyo's denim shorts. 

But as the chug of a guitar could be heard loud throughout the space, Jihyo excitedly jumped up to drag Jeongyeon into the living room to see the first band play.

The space had a large number of people already, bodies filling up most of the room as the band started their set.

"It'll pack out further!" Jeongyeon shouted into Jihyo's ear, "It'll be carnage in our set!"

Jihyo just grinned.

"Better get in the mosh when it's still tame then!" the younger woman shouted as she jumped towards the front of the crowd and began throwing her body to the beat.

Jeongyeon just laughed, weaving herself through the crowd to join Jihyo in the pit currently forming in the living room. It was fun. More fun than she'd had at a house show in a long time. Any lingering thoughts of the individual that she and Mina had been discussing early in the evening had now evaporated, and Jeongyeon was wholly focussed on enjoying the night with Jihyo and seeing where it took them.


---



"Holy fuck."

Jeongyeon leaned back against the tiles of and bit her lip as Jihyo snaked her tongue over the folds of the older woman's aching cunt.

"Shit you're good with your tongue," Jeongyeon groaned, holding onto Jihyo's ponytail as a brace while the younger woman lapped up the mess that was leaking down the older woman's thighs.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Jihyo purred, causing Jeongyeon to whine. She wanted to experience every possible outcome related to that statement.

It was late into the night and Jeongyeon could hear that the fourth act in the lineup were finishing their set. Not that the punk had seen much of them playing considering Jihyo all but dragged her upstairs and shoved her into a bathroom in order to get on her knees for the older woman.

Jihyo ran her tongue up Jeongyeon's slit and the pair groaned in tandem, both of them closing their eyes to focus on every little detail. Long, deep laps up the older woman's slit rewarded Jihyo with an abundance of wetness she was swallowing so lewdly. Jeongyeon's grip on her hair tightened and released with every motion, communicating the spots that she liked the most. The pressure the grip caused made Jihyo focus even more on making the older woman feel good, working her slit and folds with attentive care, kissing and licking over every inch.

But Jihyo didn't need the encouragement from the fingers weaved into her hair to know how much Jeongyeon needed her attention a little higher. The brunette kissed the top of the older woman's clit, and was gifted a gorgeous moan as she wrapped her lips around the throbbing bud and sucked.

"Shit Jihyo," Jeongyeon hissed as she looked down at the younger woman.

Jihyo looked up with feigned innocence as she enveloped Jeongyeon's clit in her mouth and slowly swirled her tongue. The older woman couldn't tear her eyes away as the younger woman licked over the folds, catching the hood. Once Jihyo's tongue found the little bundle of nerves hidden away, she closed her eyes and sucked, pulling a string of expletives from the punk who swore she'd never received head like this in her life.

Jeongyeon bucked her hips outwards, feeling herself grow hot under this type of attention. It had been years since a woman went down on her. Oral sex was never within the dynamic when it came to her ex-girlfriend, and subsequent hookups since their separation never saw Jeongyeon press the act in regards to receiving. She loved eating cunt too much to give much of a shit about receiving head in return. Jeongyeon had truly forgotten just how good it felt to have a hot mouth kissing and licking at her clit. And if she wasn't already completely sure she wanted to lock Jihyo down, her tongue was certainly adding another reason to the growing list of things Jeongyeon really fucking liked about this woman.

Jihyo moaned something filthy against wet folds and Jeongyeon caught that her hand had disappeared inside her shorts in an attempt to relieve some of her own tensions. The older woman melted at the sight. Receiving such attentive worship was one thing, but watching Jihyo get herself off on what she was giving Jeongyeon? Hearing Jihyo moan against her cunt and seeing how flushed and turned on she was from just eating cunt? Jesus Christ, who the fuck is this woman and why does she like me so much?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," the older woman groaned as she felt the familiar tightening of within her abdomen, and she chased her orgasm on Jihyo's tongue. The younger woman moaned, vibrations emanating. She was working Jeongyeon hard. The older woman wasn't meant to last, and she was falling apart so beautifully for the younger brunette.

Throwing her head back against the wall and gripping Jihyo's hair tightly, Jeongyeon finished hard. Harder than she had in a long time. The brunette was pressed tight against her cunt, attentively sucking and pumping her sensitive clit through the waves of the orgasm. Jihyo lapped at the fresh wetness on the punk's slit before the grip on her hair softened, and the older woman cupped her cheeks to tip her chin up and look at her.

Hooded eyes that ran deep with lust looked upwards. Jeongyeon bit her lip as she watched Jihyo open her mouth and stick out her tongue, showing off the mess she'd just gathered from the older woman's slit. Jeongyeon sighed, a blush running over the bridge of her nose as Jihyo made a display of closing her mouth, swallowing, and showing off her tongue again, completely clean.

"Where the fuck have you been all my life?" Jeongyeon breathed, thumb running under Jihyos bottom lip, catching remaining arousal on her chin.

Jihyo dipped her head, and without breaking eye contact, took Jeongyeon's thumb into her mouth, running it lightly over her teeth before sucking slow. The younger woman looked up with eyes of pure sex. Nothing else behind them but total depravity and filth. And the longer Jeongyeon looked, the more turned on she got.

"Want more?" Jihyo asked as she finished the job on Jeongyeon's thumb and let it fall from her lips.

"So fucking much, but my set's meant to start really soon, they're probably wondering where I am," Jeongyeon said breathless, chest aching that she couldn't take Jihyo up on her offer in this moment. She wanted this woman buried between her thighs for fucking hours.

"Mm, good point. Wouldn't wanna keep that crowd waiting. They'll literally kill you in the pit," Jihyo rose to her feet, buttoning up her shorts and turning to the bathroom mirror to wash her hands and fix the edges of her makeup.

Jeongyeon chuckled as she pulled up her own shorts from her ankles before moving to wrap her arms around Jihyo from behind, fingers ghosting over defined abs.

"You're so fucking hot," Jeongyeon placed a kiss on the younger woman's shoulder before resting her chin to look at the pair of them in the mirror.

"Mm, says you," Jihyo hummed, smug smile on her lips as she rested one hand on Jeongyeon's forearm around her waist, and her other hand reaching up to play with the choppy locks of Jeongyeon's mullet.

"Think we make a good looking couple?" Jeongyeon asked, looking Jihyo in the eye through the mirror.

"I do," Jihyo grinned, stroking Jeongyeon's hair softly as she stared back.

But before Jeongyeon could follow that up and explore the topic further, a loud rap came from the door.

"Jeong! Get your ass out here and help set up! We're running behind, asshole!"

Jeongyeon and Jihyo just snickered at the generally cool and quiet Mina yelling at the vocalist through the door.

The pair sighed and pulled apart from the embrace, moving towards the door.

"You're unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable. You know you're gonna stay back when this is over and help me pack up my fucking house for making this run over, right?" Mina huffed, pulling Jeongyeon's ear.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'll stay," Jeongyeon chuckled with embarrassment at being chewed out in front of the woman she so badly wanted to impress.

"Aww, and here I was hoping I'd get the invite over to your apartment this evening," Jihyo mock pouted at Jeongyeon, very much enjoying the display of seeing her humbled by the small bassist.

"Absolutely not. You will be making sure Momo gets the fuck out of my house at the end of this. She'll get ideas if I let her stay the night," Mina shot back as the three of them descended the stairs and Jihyo cackled at the seriousness of the instruction.

"Okay boss, consider it done," Jihyo laughed as they all moved towards the front of the living room where the rest of the band were running soundcheck.

Jihyo moved towards the front corner of the room, an invisible safe zone where guitar cases were kept and you would be able to watch the band from behind without the immediate risk of being kicked in the head.

Jeongyeon cracked her neck and helped the guitarist with his pedal board as she worked herself up for the set. She had been admittedly distracted most of the night, but a quick glance at the setlist and getting her hands on auxiliary cords and electrical cables had her brain moving into the stage version of herself. The version of herself where she was allowed to embody pure and untainted rage. The version of herself that needed to incite violence in others, lest she turn that destruction inward. The version of herself that could embrace every broken facet and just destroy her vocal cords for the next 20 minutes while the music obliterated her ears.

The room was dense, shoulder to shoulder and out the hallway. Wherever there was space, there were people. The dark room about to come alive with movement.

Mina's fingers plucked a slow riff, building a tension within the room. Jeongyeon, her back to the audience and crouched on the floor, spoke into the microphone. She thanked all the bands that played before, thanked Mina for giving up her home for the event, thanked everyone for coming out and supporting the scene and the bands that played tonight. 

Jeongyeon stood up,

"And with that out of the way, let's fucking kill each other."

The band launched into their set at breakneck speeds, the room filled with an annihilating sound that shook the walls and activated something primal in every individual in the room. There was no room for a pit, bodies just jumped over each other and pushed and thrashed to the music as Jeongyeon went completely ballistic. The vocalist got swept into the sea of people, completely losing herself amongst the wave of sweat and skin that made impact with her body. She felt rage. She felt pain. She felt release. Every part of her body burned with an anger so intensely molten it was burning her alive from the inside. And the only way to find freedom was to just scream the lyrics she'd written over years of experiencing constant hardship.

The set didn't pause, no break in transitions between songs. One song bled into the next and into the next as people were violently pushed in and out of the room by the current. Jihyo watched on from the sidelines, having already got her fix tonight for jumping around and shoving strangers. This was the extreme stuff. The stuff venues could never facilitate.

The stuff that saw people leaving in ambulances as not just a risk, but as something inevitable. And even amongst all the slaughter, amongst well over a hundred people crammed into this dark living room, Jihyo had her eyes glued on Jeongyeon. Red faced, screaming like she was being burned alive, exterminating anyone that was unlucky enough to fall into her warpath.

As the set neared its end, Jeongyeon shouted out that they'd close on a cover. A song they hadn't played in a while. Older members of the crowd cheered, knowing exactly what was about to be played.

And for the entire 90 seconds it took to play the track, Jeongyeon was lifted up on the shoulders of dedicated fans and friends, and the room erupted into a collective scream,

"YOU WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US."

It was prideful. It was earnest. It was triumphant. Jeongyeon felt joy. Felt community. Felt connection with everyone in that room in that moment. She knew for as long as she lived, she could never stop doing this. Never stop performing. Never stop the rush that coursed through her body when she destroyed and rebuilt herself alongside a crowd of people.

As the set reached its close and people started moving out of the room, Jeongyeon stumbled back to the rest of the band. The room was a million degrees. It couldn't not be considering how much body heat had been radiating in the space all night. And all at once, the comedown rushed over Jeongyeon's body and she felt her throat ache and her muscles sting. Mina handed her a bottle of water and put an arm around her back as the tattooed woman heaved and panted to catch her breath, thoroughly wrecked from what she'd just put herself through.

A lopsided grin fell on Jeongyeon's lips as an excited Jihyo shouldered her way through lingering members of the crowd.

"Holy shit, that was nuts!" Jihyo exclaimed, "You guys were crazy, I can't believe the crowd!"

"House shows get pretty wild," Mina chuckled as Jeongyeon nodded, chugging the bottle of water, "Clean-up is gonna be a chore though."

"You know Momo would get this place spotless if you incentivised her with a date," Jihyo snickered to the small bassist.

"Yeah, but that entails me going on said date," Mina chuckled, as if she'd already considered the viability of this exact scenario and decided it too burdensome, "And I'm very much enjoying all the chance encounters."

"What're we talking about?" Momo shoved her way into the conversation from the crowd, slinging an arm around Jihyo and resting her weight, slightly limping.

"About how you got absolutely crowd killed in there," Mina said coolly, sipping her water, "How's your leg? Looked like a nasty kick."

"A bit tender, the guy apologised at least," Momo flashed a grin to the bassist, "Can't believe you saw it amongst all those people."

"I have a sixth sense for when you make a fool of yourself," Mina shrugged with a smirk before stepping away, "Come on, let's get some ice on your ankle and get you home."

"I really shouldn't be walking to the station in this condition, surely I should stay the night," Momo grinned, hopping over to Mina who put an arm around her waist and held her up.

"Surely you didn't break your hand and you can book an Uber."

"Hint taken."

With that, the two Japanese women made their way to the kitchen and Jeongyeon and Jihyo were alone amongst a sea of people.

The younger woman pulled a packet of cigarettes from her back pocket.

"Smoke?"

"I told you I'm trying to quit," Jeongyeon chuckled, taking a cigarette from the packet and tucking it behind her ear.

"It's a party, it doesn't count," Jihyo grinned, placing the cigarettes into her back pocket and outstretching an arm for Jeongyeon to take her hand.

The pair stepped out into the warm night air, a small breeze cooling them both off after being near suffocated by the boiling heat of the living room. The women sat on the curb of the street, cigarettes burning and watching as groups of punks left the townhouse and began dispersing back to their own corners of the city. It wasn't long before only a few still lingered, the street looking like an almost normal residential neighbourhood again.

"This has to have been one of the coolest nights of my life," Jihyo smiled, dropping her finished cigarette at her feet and stomping the last of the flame, before reaching into her pocket for a second, "Thanks for inviting me out."

"Anytime," Jeongyeon replied, finishing her own and begrudgingly nodding for a second from Jihyo, "I was really excited to see you."

"I can tell. You ditched your friends to hang out with me all night," Jihyo taunted as she put two cigarettes in her mouth and passed the flame over both. She took a short drag of the two before handing one to Jeongyeon. The punk blushed.

"Only because your friend ditched you first," Jeongyeon grinned, cigarette held between her teeth, "Can't leave a pretty girl like you alone at a house show, can I?"

"Such a gentleman," Jihyo snickered, running her fingers through Jeongyeon's mullet for the second time that night. The younger woman slicked back the choppy cut and pondered her comment further out loud, "You'd scrub up hot in a suit with your hair pushed back you know."

"Let me take you out to dinner and I'll wear one," Jeongyeon took a long drag, eyes locked on Jihyo's.

"Oh, very smooth there, Yoo," Jihyo grinned, taking a drag of her own cigarette in response, exhaling the smoke, "If you're gonna wear a suit, what should I wear?"

"Something slutty. Preferably something that shows off your tits," Jeongyeon grinned, eyes wandering to Jihyo's cleavage and earning a laugh and a shove from the younger woman.

"Alright pervert, next Saturday then. You pick the place, I don't want a chef judging my taste in food," Jihyo chuckled, blowing smoke out the side of her lips, "And have it be near your apartment. If I'm giving you head again it won't be on bathroom tiles."

"Fuck," Jeongyeon choked, smoke spilling from her mouth and nose as Jihyo laughed loud on the quiet street side.

"Thought you liked that I play direct?" Jihyo tilted her head with a smirk.

"Oh I like it. I really fucking like it," Jeongyeon sputtered with a laugh, thumping her fist against her chest and coughing, "Alright, I'll make us a booking somewhere near my place and text you the details."

"Looking forward to it, handsome," Jihyo leaned in, catching Jeongyeon's lips in a kiss.

The older woman sighed and deepened the kiss further, shuffling closer as the two of them kissed slow on the dark curb. Jeongyeon's chest stirred, feelings emerging that she hadn't felt in a long time. A simplicity, an excitement, an intrigue. Jihyo had been heavily circulating her thoughts for the last four weeks and she was impatient to talk more, learn more, touch more. Something about this woman made her feel soft, and not in the way that made her also feel weak. Not in the way someone else made her feel weak. No. Jihyo was different. Rough around the edges, yes, but not sharpened to cut Jeongyeon open in the same way she was. For fucks sake, she had a gorgeous woman's tongue in her mouth, now was not the time to be thinking of her ex-girlfriend.

"Shit," the tattooed woman hissed in pain, breaking the kiss and flicking the cigarette away after the embers crept up to burn her fingers.

"Rookie error," Jihyo commented, flicking her own butt away and looking over the speckle of burns, only small.

"Your fault for being such a lovely distraction," Jeongyeon smiled, shaking her hand before it was caught by Jihyo.

The younger woman blew cold air on the red spots between the punks fingers and looked over the large scorpion tattoo that coiled on the back of Jeongyeon's hand. Jihyo leaned in and kissed knuckles that had been displaced one too many times. Kissed scars earned too early in life. Kissed the burns that danced around the gaps in the woman's large collection of body art. Small mementos of this night that would fade to nothing within a few days.

Jihyo withdrew and looked at Jeongyeon with so much depth that the older woman feared she might drown if she held the gaze too long.

"All better?" Jihyo asked quietly.

Jeongyeon just nodded. Because what did you say to the woman you were head over heels for when she so sincerely kissed you better?

"Alright tough guy, let's get you inside to run that under water and I'll get Momo home," Jihyo stood up from the curb and extended a hand to Jeongyeon, dragging the punk to her feet with notable strength.

Jeongyeon blushed as the younger woman took her other hand and walked with her inside. So casually intimate. So public. Jeongyeon wondered if Jihyo was always like this with girls she was interested in. Or was it the semi-abandoned streets under the cover of darkness that made her feel bold enough to display affections with a woman. Jeongyeon was curious to know if this behaviour would shift when they went to dinner.

The pair set up in the kitchen, Jeongyeon sitting on the counter as she allowed Jihyo to run her fingers under the cool water. It wasn't necessary. Working as a chef for a number of years saw her hands hardened to burns and cuts. And she was sure Jihyo knew that. But she still cleaned and cared for the wound anyway. And for the older woman, it was just nice to be treated like she was delicate. Like she was deserving.

As the younger woman finished sticking a bandage to Jeongyeon's fingers, Momo rushed downstairs with a dopey grin on her face, catching Jihyo in the kitchen.

"Alright, we gotta jet. Mina's given me a 5-minute head start to get out of here, and if I do, she promised to text me her number," Momo rambled fast, being met in response with the blank stares of Jeongyeon and Jihyo. Momo scrunched up her nose, annoyed,

"So we need to go."

Jeongyeon and Jihyo turned back to each other and laughed hard at the abrupt break in their brief intimacy.

"Alright, I suppose this is goodnight then," Jihyo leaned up on her toes and placed a chaste kiss on Jeongyeon's lips.

"Looking forward to next week, I'll make sure to wear a dress that's far too short," the younger woman whispered, squeezing Jeongyeon's hand before turning on her heel to step out with Momo, waving "Bye Jeong."

"Bye Jihyo," Jeongyeon replied, breathless, blushing, sat on the kitchen counter of her best friend's house and watching Jihyo walk out the door. Damn, she was down bad. She wanted to lock Jihyo down something crazy.

Jeongyeon lingered, watching the empty space that only an hour ago had been packed tight with over a hundred people. The punk didn't even realise how hard she'd zoned out until Mina stepped into view.

"They're gone?"

"Momo all but ran out the door," Jeongyeon chuckled, shaking her head and coming back to reality, "I'm not super convinced by the seriousness of that ankle injury."

"Maybe I'm just really good at nursing her back to health," Mina grinned, grabbing a beer from the fridge and offering one to Jeongyeon who declined.

"Mm, is that what you two were doing upstairs? Playing doctors and nurses?" Jeongyeon smirked, jumping off the counter and grabbing a garbage bag from one of the kitchen drawers, beginning to gather up empty bottles and cans.

"Something like that," Mina smirked, running her fingers through her feathered black hair, a bruise creeping out from the collar of her shirt.

The rest of the night was spent cleaning the house and catching up with old friends from the scene. Jeongyeon found it nice to talk with the people that had known her directly or indirectly through the underground music scene for years. Talking about new bands emerging and old bands playing final shows. Talking about brand new ink and the ones they were getting lasered off. Talking about sobriety, relapses, and the bad habits that replaced the diabolical habits. And of course the inevitable questions on if Jeongyeon was still seeing her and the consistent congratulations when advised that they'd broken up for good. It was simple. It was nice.

By the time everyone had cleared out and the house was in reasonable shape again, Jeongyeon was drained, falling asleep standing up. She trudged upstairs, kicked off her shorts, and fell into Mina's bed, pulling the blanket up to her cheeks.

"Like old times, huh," the small bassist mused, following behind the vocalist and changing into a cute set of pyjamas that didn't match her otherwise edgy aesthetic in the slightest, "Sleeping in the same bed at the old share house."

"Mm," Jeongyeon hummed, eyes closed as she remembered the nights where the power would go out and they'd be so cold even under all the blankets and huddled together, "Come a long way since then."

"Yeah, a lots changed," Mina said softly, settling into bed beside her best friend, equally exhausted, "It's nice having you over again, Jeong. I miss living with you sometimes."

"You only miss living with me when you remember how clean I'd keep the house," Jeongyeon mumbled with a grin.

"Excuse you, I also miss you bringing home leftovers from the restaurant," Mina replied with a giggle, causing Jeongyeon to snort in reply.

"If things work out with Jihyo, bring her over again sometime. I like her. She's a good change of pace for you," Mina settled in to the blankets, facing away from Jeongyeon as she yawned.

"You just like her because she agreed to take Momo home."

"I like her because she's not a fucking bitch, Jeong," she replied coolly, harkening back to old arguments about another individual in their lives that Mina did not share the same sentiments about, "Don't fuck this up for yourself."

"Yes dear," Jeongyeon yawned, rolling away to face the wall and letting herself drift off to sleep, praying that she'd get to see Jihyo again in her dreams.


---


Jeongyeon woke up early. She always did. She dressed herself, splashed water on her face, slicked her hair back, and made her way downstairs. She hauled the full garbage bags in the kitchen outside to the courtyard, and wiped down the grubby surfaces from the night before, leaving a little less work for the bandmates that lived there. Jeongyeon was always antsy first thing in the morning to get out of someone else's space. The comforts of her own apartment, her own coffee machine, her own couch, her shelf full of knick-knacks, all calling to her as soon as she woke up. The punk slipped on her low-cuts and descended down the steps of the townhouse and started her walk to the train station.

Leaving early wasn't just about returning to the comforts of her own home. There was safety in travelling alone in the early morning before the rest of the city awoke. The mullet, the heavily tattooed skin, the choice of clothing, all of it made Jeongyeon a frequent recipient of judgemental looks on a good day, and active hostility on a bad one. Being gay in South Korea was one thing, but being butch was something else entirely. It could be lonely, isolating, and at times fucking dangerous to look the way she did. And sometimes she wished she could leave. Live somewhere where she didn't plan every route before leaving her house, didn't have to wear long sleeves in the summer, didn't have to hide her relationships behind closed doors. But really, was there any place in the world where she'd ever feel that kind of safety?

By the time Jeongyeon was home she was exhausted from only a short night of sleep and an evening of being pummelled. She didn't even bother making herself coffee. She just fell into bed and let herself sleep. Let herself just sleep longer than she had in a very long time. Beyond her long nap, much of Jeongyeon's Sunday was a fairly standard affair. Cleaning her apartment, doing her laundry, shopping for the week ahead. She felt good. Extra motivated to get things done before her shift at the restaurant that evening. Thoughts of Jihyo on her mind and how she'd be coming to her apartment in a week. Jeongyeon tried not to text her too much. Tried to keep conversation to the gig last night. But she was excited. So excited. She wanted absolutely everything to be perfect for when she came over.

Work was a nothing special. A rush of families early in the evening and a hard drop off as the night stretched on. Jeongyeon's thoughts were mostly on what she'd do on her day off tomorrow. Maybe she'd volunteer at the dog shelter like she did most Mondays, maybe she'd text one of the friends she caught up with at the gig and see if they were free for coffee, maybe she'd have a lazy day at home and rot her brain with trashy horror movies.

The restaurant closed on time, and even though she lingered back to chat with rest of the closing crew, she denied their offer of a beer. She hadn't taken one cigarette break all shift either. She felt good. She felt refreshed. Even the walk home from the train station felt more pleasant than usual. Quiet. Still. Close to midnight on a Sunday and she still felt energised. Seeing Jihyo last night had Jeongyeon feeling like she was opening a new door, a new chapter. And for the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to get her hopes up.

But that's always how it went.

Because in her optimistic state, Jeongyeon didn't even notice the red convertible parked in the visitor zone of the apartment complex parking lot. Not that it would've mattered if she did, no one was sitting inside. But as she climbed the outdoor steps to her third floor apartment and withdrew her keys from her pocket, she looked up and was met with a sight that made her heart stop and her skin rush cold.

Perfect waves of blonde hair, an expensive coat that was far too heavy considering the late-spring heat, and sunglasses that were only being worn this late at night so the owner could slowly and dramatically look over them when Jeongyeon arrived.

"Hi puppy, you miss me?"

Minatozaki Sana. Fuck.

Notes:

Thoughts, feelings, opinions?

UGHHH I love hardcore punk and heavy music so much, it's such a blessing in my life. The song mentioned here is You Will Never Be One of Us by Nails. Give it a listen! Or don't, seriously no judgement here, I'm incorporating my favourite pop girlies into a VERY different genre.

Shout out to the queers and the freaks reading this. I love being queer so fucking much.

Come talk to me about what you might see for this fic! I have two more chapters drafted and am weighing up where to take this next so I SUPER value comments and input!!

Chapter 3

Notes:

Hi all, Chapter 3 here!

This is getting toxic here folks, it's not tender and sweet like earlier chapters. It's hurtful and angsty and Jeongyeon and Sana really bring out the worst in each other.

CONTENT WARNING:
Mentions of suicide and battling with associated thoughts and feelings that lead someone to this point. This is not subtle, it comes in early in the chapter. We touch on hospitalisation, drugs, and a very toxic relationship. I'm updating tags for this chapter, PLEASE tell me if you think I've missed something. Take care of yourself if these are hard topics, come chat with me in the comments if you like. This is (like all my work) topics that are very personal, come chat and I'll listen

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"The fuck are you doing here?"

Jeongyeon said coldly, hardening the expression on her face as though it were battle armour. She walked towards the blonde standing outside her apartment, intending to make this interaction a quick one.

"You sent me a big long text about never wanting to see me again and then never replied to any of my follow ups," Sana said with all the sweetness in the world and not a single hint of concern.

"I said in the text that I was blocking your number," Jeongyeon clarified. Hating that she was already falling into the old habits of justifying herself to this woman.

"I know that," the blonde replied, annoyance creeping in the edges of her tone, but the smile on her lips remained all the same, shallow, hollow, "I was just worried you might've gone and done something stupid to yourself again. How am I meant to check in on you if our old friends have me blocked too?"

A low blow. It had been years since Jeongyeon attempted what was being alluded to, and Sana knew that. Knew that wasn't the reason for the text, nothing in it screamed cry for help. The punk suddenly remembered why she could never keep the blonde blocked for long. How if she couldn't keep tabs on her and talk her down, the blonde got erratic. No one else had the patience, the obligation, to deal with this behaviour anymore. And neither did Jeongyeon, they'd been broken up for a long time now. But still, she couldn't let go. Wasn't allowed to let go. Everything inside the tattooed woman wanted to run. Run as far as fucking possible right now.

"So what's this? A welfare check or a first look at what you could pick up from my deceased estate?" Jeongyeon snarled, folding her arms.

Sana smiled wide as she removed her sunglasses, knock off Louis Vuittons, and slipped them into her handbag, a second-hand Prada she called vintage.

"I was worried, puppy. I'm allowed to be worried."

No you're not. You weren't worried when I'd lock myself in the bathroom due to daily panic attacks. You weren't worried when I went into a downward spiral because I couldn't afford my meds. You weren't worried when I was admitted to the inpatient ward for a week and was meant to be discharged into your care but you went back to Japan instead.  You weren't ever worried about me when we were together and you're certainly not worried about me now.

"Well as you can see, I'm fine," Jeongyeon replied bluntly, turning to unlock the door to her apartment. But as soon as a sliver of the punks home revealed itself, Sana had already shoved past the older woman to step inside. Shit.

The blonde dropped her handbag on the benchtop and went straight for the fridge as though she lived there. Which she didn’t. She hadn't. She hadn't ever lived here. This was meant to be the space free of this fucking woman and Jeongyeon had already allowed that boundary to be violated one too many times in the past. 

"No beer? No soju? You giving up drinking or something?" Sana hummed lightly, looking over the freshly purchased contents of Jeongyeon's refrigerator with unsaid disdain.

"Just cutting back. Trying to take better care of myself," Jeongyeon fucking hated that this woman was in her home. Again. How long had it been since she last came over? 6 months? Yeah, and beside a handful of texts and a run in at a party, there hadn't had much contact since then. But that wasn't unusual. Even before the final break up the lines of communication were always fractured, haphazard. Their relationship could never be considered conventional.

"Why?" Sana turned her head, eyebrows slightly raised. Jeongyeon recognised that look; trying not to seem crazy about a mundane topic when something was lurking under the surface, and any minute from now it was going to rear its ugly head and reveal itself. The older woman could find something to latch onto in any little thing. The byproduct of high emotional intelligence and low ability to behave like a reasonable fucking person.

"Do I need a reason? I'm 27, maybe I wanna make some better choices," Jeongyeon unzipped her jacket and slung it over a chair at her small dining table. She stood cross armed in her t-shirt and baggy jeans and wished she felt more intimidating than Sana knew her to be.

"Oh, so is that why you texted me a novel about how you think it's best we no longer have contact with each other?" Sana raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms, "Self-improvement kick? Finally going straight edge and you're purging all your bad habits?"

"Maybe I am. The fuck does it matter to you anyway?" Jeongyeon scoffed and immediately regretted it. Take the high road idiot, don't let her reel you in like she always does.

"I'm not some fucking New Year's resolution, Yoo Jeongyeon," Sana snarled in annoyance. And Jeongyeon knew then she was fucked because Sana never used her full name. She wasn't here to play roundabout games of semantics, she was pissed and needed to push the punk tonight, "You don't get to just decide when I do and don't get to see you."

That made Jeongyeon's blood boil. Any reins of control quickly slipping through her tattooed fingers. The punk always found herself falling into the same traps she always did when they argued.

"Pretty rich coming from the one that's meant to be in a relationship," Jeongyeon snapped, tone nothing but venomous, hurtful, pained, "How is Dahyun by the way?"

Sana smiled wide at the question. Jeongyeon had moved from the defensive positions in an offensive attempt to be mean spirited. She'd already lost before the blonde needed to reply.

"She's good, down in Busan looking at some beachside real estate at the moment," Sana flipped her hair over her shoulder and Jeongyeon clenched her fist, hating herself for asking. Hating that Sana consistently leveraged that she 'won' their break up by bagging a rich and naïve girlfriend in Kim Dahyun. As if a break up was ever a fucking game to be won. Then again, everything was a game to Sana,

"She's taking me to France next month. Business class flights and everything. So we're very good right now."

"Mustn't be that good if you're here," Jeongyeon mumbled, resigned to the fact she was playing a game she could never win.

"I don't need a reason to see you."

There wasn't any way to reply to that. There wasn't any need to. Sana had already told Jeongyeon why she was here. And whilst they both knew the reason given wasn't in any way truthful, the blonde didn't need to indulge alternative narratives for her sudden drop in.

It was quiet for a moment. A long moment. A moment that made Jeongyeon’s stomach turn.

Sana stepped around from the kitchen, pacing to the other side of the table. Jeongyeon felt her jaw tighten as the distance between them grew smaller. But she felt locked in place, convinced any movement would be seen as weakness.

"Out of the blue text about us parting ways for good? Clean apartment with no beer in the fridge? Coming home from work and you don't reek of cigarettes?" Sana purred, head tilted as she looked Jeongyeon in the eye. The tattooed woman did everything she could to keep her breathing steady, hold the eye contact, but the weight of Sana's stare was breaking something inside her, "Certainly not the cry for help I thought it was. So it makes me wonder..."

Sana paused. Drew it out. She always did have a penchant for the dramatic.

"You're not seeing someone, are you puppy?"

Define seeing someone. Actually don't. I don't need to justify myself to you.

"No."

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

Of course I'd lie to you. I lie to myself all the time.

"No."

"Good, so there's no problems with me being here then."

Sana's tone was syrupy. Sticky. A tone that if not scrubbed out immediately would stain and ruin whatever it touched.

"There's a lot of fucking problems with you being here. We're not together anymore."

"That doesn't mean I can't see you."

"You've been seeing Dahyun for what, 9 months now?"

"Cute that you remember," Sana giggled but there was no joy behind it, " Cuter that you think that's stopped us before."

Sana stepped around the table towards Jeongyeon. Slow. Predatory. And like a wolf stepping out of sheep's clothing, Sana removed her coat, tossing it on the table and revealing a skirt that was too short and top that was too tight for intentions that were even remotely innocent. She was right. Her relationship with Dahyun had never been a barrier in the past for the things done in this apartment when the sun was down.

"Jeongie,"

Infantilising. You know I hate it when you talk to me like this. I'm not stupid, I know you. I know you want something.

"I came all the way over to see you and you haven't been very nice."

Of course I haven't been fucking nice. How the fuck can I be nice to you after you drop by announced telling me you expected I was dead.

Sana took another step and Jeongyeon swallowed. The scent of floral perfume hitting her nose. One that Sana always told people was high end and couldn't be purchased in Korea. In reality, a bargain bin scent that was so cheap there was no profit in exporting it beyond Japan shores. Memories flooded Jeongyeon's head of coming home from work, coming home from the gym, coming home from hospital to that scent filling the bedroom they shared when they used to live together. She still didn’t know if she loved or hated it.

The blonde stepped close. Too close. Jeongyeon could feel the heat of her body now. So warm. So familiar. Like coming home to the house you ran away from. The house that still had a few happy memories etched into its frame. The house that contained so much hurt for so long but was still something you were accustomed to.

"You should make it up to me."

Sana looked up at her with big eyes. The same eyes that looked up at her and asked Jeongyeon to cover the rent because Sana got fired from another job for stealing from the register. The same eyes that looked up at her and begged for Jeongyeon to tell the police she was the one that was driving that night because Sana couldn't lose her license for a third time. The same eyes that looked up at her and told Jeongyeon it was all a misunderstanding when she caught Sana cheating the first time, the second time, the sixth time.

The eyes that she knew made Jeongyeon cave.

And as though Sana were the moon and Jeongyeon the tide, the punk caved. Inevitable.

"What do you want?" Jeongyeon whispered, eyes wandering over the outfit Sana was wearing. Half of her appreciating how fucking good she looked in it, half of her wondering if it was shoplifted or a gift from Dahyun.

"I just want you, puppy."

"Where does Dahyun think you are right now?"

Sana tilted her head,

"Do you care?"

Sana reached up, hands softer than silk, nails sharper than knives, and cupped Jeongyeon's face. Sana looked over Jeongyeon's features slow, and the older woman was convinced she could see right through her. She always could. A decade of knowing a person gave you that ability.

Sana leaned up on her toes and kissed Jeongyeon so gently it hurt. Held her so softly it stung. Pressed against her so warmly it burned. It was agony. Heart wrenching, gut twisting agony. And Jeongyeon couldn't pull away.

"You can't keep doing this," the punk whispered against cherry flavoured lip gloss.

"I absolutely can," the blonde whispered back, pulling Jeongyeon in for another kiss. Harder. Hotter. Hungrier.

"You don't even need me anymore," Jeongyeon mumbled, returning the kiss all the same. She told herself it was muscle memory.

"You don't get to tell me what I need," Sana nipped at Jeongyeon's bottom lip as a warning, then wrapped her arms around the tattooed woman's neck and deepened the kiss further.

It became a blur as the pair stumbled towards the bedroom, clothes being haphazardly discarded until both of them were in their underwear, tongues exploring each other's mouths on the bed. Jeongyeon didn't comment on Sana's choice of underwear. Refused to comment. A lacy red set. A bra and g-string that would only be worn if intending on seducing your ex-lover into fucking you so hard you forgot your own name. A set that highlighted all the parts of Sana's body that made Jeongyeon weak in a colour that the punk had always told her she looks best in. The blonde knew exactly what she was doing when she picked it out.

"Jeong, get the harness out, I want your cock," Sana breathed hotly onto the other woman's tongue, making Jeongyeon moan at how direct she was being in the request. Sana was never this direct. She was obviously worked up. Obviously bothered. More than just trying to stop Jeongyeon from pulling away.

Jeongyeon complied. In too deep to fucking care by this point. How the hell do you turn down a woman that looks like Sana asking for your cock? Jeongyeon exhaled. Just turn your brain off and fuck. Don't think too hard about it. It's just sex.

The tattooed woman moved over to her night stand and took off her boxers to slip on the harness, whilst the blonde moved to the chest of drawers in front of the bed to pick out the toy she'd be fucked with. Even though it had been months since they did this, they still fell back into old routines with practiced ease. Like the routine of Jeongyeon pulling her boxers back up over the harness because Sana like the way it looked more than the straps gripping her skin. Like the routine of Sana rinsing the toy in the ensuite, less so to get it clean but to get it warm so it felt more real. Like the routine of Jeongyeon standing over her as Sana knelt and worked the dildo through the o-ring and kissed at it through the fly of the punks boxers as she stripped her lingerie.

"Get on the bed," Jeongyeon husked, overtaken by a need to be on top of this woman that felt almost primal.

Sana crawled up onto the bed and spread her legs,

"Come here, puppy. Come take care of me," Sana stretched out her arms and looked so needy in this moment. Almost small. Something laced into her voice beyond the need to hurt and punish the woman currently settling between her thighs.

"You still shave for Dahyun?" Jeongyeon questioned quietly, thumb running over the soft bare skin of Sana's mound, "Even though you're the top now?"

"She likes it like this. I wanna to keep her happy for when she goes down on me," Sana answered with quiet honesty that the tattooed woman wasn't prepared to hear.

"Thought you hated oral," Jeongyeon scoffed, running the silicone cock up the slick folds of Sana's pussy.

"You're not the only one that's allowed to change, puppy."

Jeongyeon cursed herself for asking questions that she didn't want the answers to. She couldn't help herself though. Sana always made her play the fool.

The punk looked down at the wet mess between Sana's legs. Gorgeous. Fucking gorgeous as always. Sana's body had always betrayed whatever came out of her mouth. No matter how cold or venomous or hostile, she always got so flushed and wet for Jeongyeon's touch. 

Sana wrapped her legs around Jeongyeon's tattooed waist and pulled her in, the toy slipping inside the tight entrance of her cunt.

"Shit," Sana threw her head back and hissed as Jeongyeon bottomed out inside her. The punk held the blonde’s thighs, pushing them up to give more access. She could feel the resistance inside, feel that Sana hadn't properly prepared herself or had made an ambitious choice on the size of the toy she selected.

"So fucking tight, jagi," Jeongyeon whispered, the old pet name slipping out as her thumb found Sana's clit, pressing over the hood in the way that the blonde loved, getting her body to relax, "Been awhile?"

Sana squirmed, face turning to the pillow, trying to mask her pained expression.

"When was the last time I was here? November? Your birthday?"

Jeongyeon looked up at Sana with eyes wide, cold sweat prickling her shoulders, a rush up her spine.

"You haven't been fucked since the last time you came over?"

Sana shook her head, eyes scrunched closed as she focussed on the length currently filling her cunt.

"It's not the same unless it's you, baby."

Terms of affection were falling at a dangerous rate. This was too much. This wasn't just a fucked up fling like it had been in the past. This wasn't the early days of Sana's relationship with Dahyun where she loved to flaunt all the perks whilst subsequently needing to fulfil her needs of bottoming. Jeongyeon knew in her depths that Sana was only here because of that text. That fear that Jeongyeon was pulling away for good. And Sana was going to remind Jeongyeon why she wasn't allowed to be the one to walk away. Why distance could only ever be on Sana's terms and not the other way around. Even if she had to hurt hurt herself to do it.

"I can get lube if it's-"

"Fuck off, you know I hate how sticky it is," Sana snapped, furrowing her brow as she rolled her hips slow and let out a moan. Jeongyeon matched the movement and felt the blonde’s walls opening up around her. Like her body was remembering who was inside her. Who it really belonged to.

"Just fuck me, Jeong. This softness is killing me," Sana's tone was acidic but Jeongyeon was attuned enough to know it was deflection. Not wanting Jeongyeon to see through the fact this meant more than it was. Because it always hurt Sana so much when Jeongyeon was kind and considerate.

Jeongyeon started a shallow pace, watching the older woman's face twist as her body still become accustomed to the intrusion. The punk pressed her clit in rougher circles and dipped her body to press her lips to Sana's. The blonde moaned into the kiss, moulding her lips against Jeongyeon in the ways they used to. It made the tattooed woman's chest ache to feel Sana's body relax as they kissed. Even after all this time. After everything they'd done and everything they said. They still melted for each other.

Until Sana's teeth sunk into her bottom lip and Jeongyeon was pulled from the closeness by a flash of pain.

"I said cut the soft shit, I'm not your fucking girlfriend anymore."

Jeongyeon could reason with it. Easier to default to nastiness and press the punk’s ego than it was to sit in unwanted feelings of gentleness. But even though Jeongyeon knew this, knew Sana's games, it still got under her skin. It still made her angry.

So Jeongyeon gave Sana exactly what she asked for and fucked her.

Jeongyeon pulled away from Sana's lips, sat back on her calves, and thrusted hard into the blonde. Sana's eyes rolled back and she groaned low as Jeongyeon gripped her thighs and fucked into her rough.

"Fuck that's it, I knew you were still good for something, puppy," Sana laughed cruelly as Jeongyeon fucked into her deeper, letting herself fall into the blondes trap of railing her rough because fuck it just felt so much better than remembering the times that they used to make love. And the harder the punk fucked, the wetter the blonde got. The more her body opened up because something inside Sana loved cruelty in the way she was handled. And fuck, Jeongyeon loved a part of that too. Loved indulging a disgusting type of roughness that only someone that's fucked you over countless times over the last decade could actually receive. Not just receive, encourage.

"God, I love it when you fuck me like you hate me," Sana smirked, challenging an escalation. Jeongyeon wouldn’t indulge that, so swerved with an alternate offering.

"You're always such a slut for my cock," Jeongyeon breathed, looking down and watching as Sana's cunt dripped around the base of the toy, soaking her boxers under the words filling the small bedroom.

"Ah, fuck- god I just can't get enough when you fuck me like this," Sana moaned, working herself harder as the punk thrusted into her.

"So wet when I remind you what you are," the tattooed woman husked with a grin, running a finger up her slit and licking it off her fingers, "Still taste like a fucking whore."

"Oh it's so fucking cute when you get mean with me," Sana grinned, breathless, reaching up to grab Jeongyeon's jaw, manicured nails posing a ghost of a threat against the punks flesh, "Think you can put me in my place, puppy?"

Something in that brought Jeongyeon back to reality, back to right now. This wasn't 6 months ago. This wasn’t 6 years ago. They weren't together, they weren't friends. The tattooed woman hated how easily she got sucked back in to this toxicity. Why was it so hard to change?

"Don’t call me that anymore, you don't get to call me that," Jeongyeon said with real derision. Sana was pushing her patience too far tonight and the tattooed woman was growing increasingly sick of it. Sick of her.

"I'll stop calling you puppy when you stop acting like a dog on a fucking leash," Sana spat, rolling her hips on the strap and digging her nails in to Jeongyeon's jaw, "It's pathetic."

"Says the one coming over to my apartment at midnight," Jeongyeon smacked Sana's hand away, held her hips and fucked into her harder.

"Says the one that let me in," the blonde shot back with a grin of pure fucking malice. Sana was relishing this, "Stupid mutt."

Jeongyeon bit her swollen lip at that final comment, breathing through the rage. Fucking into Sana rougher because that's what she wanted when she said things like that. The blonde groaned and writhed as strong arms gripped the soft flesh of her waist and pulled her back on the dildo, using her hard. Fucking into Sana with all the anger and hurt and let over love that still clung on to the weak parts of Jeongyeon's heart. God, she didn't wanna think anymore. Why could they never just fuck? Why did they always have to do this to each other? Hurt each other. Why did they seek this out?

Jeongyeon blinked away the burning feeling behind her eyes before it settled and let herself just look at the body below her with lust. Because she looked good. Fuck she looked better than ever. She'd filled out just a little. Not enough for most to notice. But enough for someone that had known her naked body for her entire adult life to pick up. She could afford to eat more than one meal a day when it was on Dahyun's dime, and it made Jeongyeon flushed to see her ribs a little less defined, her hip bones a little less hollow, her waist and ass a little fuller for needy hands to grab at. Sana only ever got more stunning with age.

Jeongyeon could only release a groan through closed lips. Unable to give the compliments she wanted. Only able to rely on objectifying Sana because the blonde didn't want to be seen as anything more than that in this moment.

"Such a hot fucking cunt," Jeongyeon moaned, looking at how flushed Sana's pussy was under such rough treatment and feeling the familiar pangs of possession creep in the back of her brain, "Always took me so fucking well. Can't ever stay away too long huh?"

"What can I say, you fuck me good," Sana panted, rolling her hips up to hit the toy against her sweet spot, "Pity the rest of you isn't worth my time."

"Bullshit, you fuckin' missed me," Jeongyeon laughed, breathless, cocky grin on her lips, "You just can't say it."

"I don't miss you," Sana hissed, bucking her hips harder, chasing, "Do you have any idea how fucking spoiled I am-"

"Oh I know. I know Dahyun's rich and doting and worships the ground you walk on," Jeongyeon reached out to grope at Sana's breasts, something feral overtaking her that she couldn't turn off, "Eats your cunt like a good little girl because she has no idea who the fuck you are. Where you came from. The shit you did and the shit you still do."

"Shut up Jeong, you don't fucking know what-"

"What I'm talking about?" Jeongyeon interrupted again, laughing as she pinched Sana's nipples and the blonde curled her lip to stifle her moans, not wanting to give the tattooed woman the satisfaction. But it was too late for that, Jeongyeon saw it all,

"Remember who's on top of you right now, Sana. I know you better than anyone. And I know you miss me something awful. Miss the way I touch you. Miss the way I fuck you. Isn't it infuriating pretending to be a top when you know how good my cock feels inside y-"

Jeongyeon's rambling was cut off by a hard slap to the cheek that made her recoil.

"Fuck off!" Sana said loudly, grabbing Jeongyeon's throat and squeezing her nails in, "Talking all this shit about missing you as if you weren't the one that stopped loving me."

"I didn't stop loving you," Jeongyeon grabbed the wrist connected to the palm around her throat and pinned it above Sana's head, lowering her body to look her in the eye, breath brushing over glossed lips, "I stopped fucking liking you. You're insufferable. You're a liar. You're not only self-destructive, you need to take everyone down with you."

Sana just grinned.

"Not everyone."

Sana pushed up and placed a kiss so horribly smug on Jeongyeon's lips that the tattooed woman couldn't stand it. The punk released her wrist and pulled up, disgusted at the thought of breathing the same air as this fucking woman.

Sana stretched her arms above her head and bucked her hips upwards, moaning loud and slutty in self-satisfaction. Reminding Jeongyeon that it didn't matter if she got the upper hand for a moment, she'd always lose at games where the objective was cruelty.

"This is the last time, Sana," Jeongyeon said quietly, holding the blonde’s hips and fucking upwards at the angle she knew made her come undone.

"Whatever you say, puppy," Sana just smiled. Because she knew it wasn't up to Jeongyeon to make that decision.

Sana turned her head to the side and groaned as Jeongyeon pumped into her hard and deep. She worked her thumb over Sana's clit again, this time slipping under the hood and rubbing the sensitive little bud that made the blonde dumb. It always did. Jeongyeon was so entirely attuned to play her ex-girlfriend like an instrument. An expert in something she longed to abandon.

Sana's moans grew louder, higher pitched, and Jeongyeon could see she was falling apart with every thrust. The punk’s body was burning under the strain of the pace, but there was no fucking way she'd let this draw out any longer. She couldn’t take this any longer, couldn’t do this to herself again. Brief thoughts of Jihyo slipped through Jeongyeon’s mind and she shook them away. She didn’t want to think of her when she felt so disgusting.

So she hit Sana with a finisher. A line she knew would be enough to push the blonde over the edge,

"You look so pretty right now, baby."

The softness in Jeongyeon's voice made her hate herself for saying it. But as Sana's eyes rolled back and loud curses left her mouth, Jeongyeon knew the words were worth saying as she watched the blonde climax hard around her cock.

Jeongyeon fell forward and let Sana wrap her arms around her shoulders and dig her nails into the wings of the eagle that framed the top of the punk's full back tattoo. Despite all their cruelties, Jeongyeon still couldn't pull herself away from the rituals of caring for this woman in her comedown. Couldn't help but let herself be gripped so painfully tight by someone that brought her so much unbearable pain. Sana would never admit it out loud, but she needed to be held through an orgasm like this. Needed warmth pressed against her front because the weight of the world was too much for her to bare. She never needed to ask Jeongyeon for this, the older woman just knew. Knew a lot of things that Sana could never say out loud. Because if they were said, they were real. And Sana didn't want some things to be real.

As the grip loosened and breathing steadied, Jeongyeon shifted her hips to pull out, earning a hiss from the blonde. Nails tightened again and Jeongyeon stayed in place. Cock resting between Sana's thighs, chin still on the slope of her shoulder. Stagnant. A remnant of a relationship once so wild and passionate and loving, still trying to cling onto whatever it could dig twisted claws into.

As if on cue, the younger woman broke the silence.

"You're not allowed see anyone else, puppy," Sana said quiet, leveraging the moment where she wasn't being seen to say something that hurt her more than it hurt Jeongyeon, "Don't put me through that."

"Put you through what? Me being happy with someone else?" Jeongyeon breathed, not able to withdraw, not able to raise her voice louder. She didn't want to look at Sana in this moment, didn't want her to hear her weakness.

"I can't stand the thought of you with anyone else. I can't stand the thought of you calling someone your girlfriend," Sana whispered, nails digging in to the blades of Jeongyeon's shoulders.

"That's not fair Sana."

"I never said it was."

Jeongyeon tensed her jaw and gritted her teeth. Of course it wasn't fair. It was never fair. Nothing in her life was fucking fair. Fairness wasn't being kicked out of home after your junior high graduation. Fairness wasn't selling bags in the back of nightclubs to pay for culinary school. Fairness wasn't the woman who was meant to love you fucking half your friends, sinking you deep into credit card debt, making you feel so fucking worthless in your existence whilst pretending like you were crazy one for being hurt by her actions. Life wasn't fair.

"So you get to be spoiled and adored and flown over to fucking Europe to eat cunt in some 5 star hotel and I'm meant to stay alone forever?" Jeongyeon said through gritted teeth as if she didn't already know the answer.

"Pretty much."

"Fuck you Sana. Get the fuck out of my house."

Jeongyeon rolled away from the blonde and got off the bed to step into her ensuite. Sana didn't even attempt to negotiate staying the night. She just stretched out, exhaled, then rolled off the bed to gather her clothes. The pair made no attempts at conversation as they went through the motions. 

Jeongyeon stepped naked out of the bathroom and walked around Sana as if she wasn't even there, opening her bedside drawers and pulling out a fresh pair of boxers. The blondes eye wandered to the Japanese characters tattooed on Jeongyeon's hip. Faded and scratchy, a home job done by the punk 8 years ago on their kitchen counter when she was drunk at a house party. It hadn't held up nearly as well as the professional pieces that covered Jeongyeon's skin, but it still remained. Two katakana characters. サナ. Sana.

"Still mine," Sana whispered, reaching out to touch the tattoo before having her hand pushed away as Jeongyeon lifted up her boxers and concealed it.

"Might get it covered up soon," Jeongyeon replied cold, moving around Sana to her wardrobe to pull out a t-shirt to sleep in.

"Cover it up all you like. You'll still know what’s underneath," Sana left the bedroom to gather her coat and handbag to leave.

Jeongyeon followed behind, watching her every movement. Scanning the space to see if there was anything of value left out for Sana to slip into her pockets. Old habits die hard.

"Don't come back Sana. I mean it. I don't wanna do this anymore," Jeongyeon said, emotionless. She was a wreck inside, but she couldn't fight with this woman anymore.

"What about what I want, Jeong?" Sana snapped back, arms folded in the short hallway by the door.

"You're Dahyun's girlfriend, act like it," Jeongyeon stepped closer, wanting to keep Sana cornered in the doorway so she was more likely to leave. She sighed, softened, dropped her voice, "I hope you have fun together in France. I hope she spoils you rotten. I hope she makes you happy. Happier than I ever made you."

"She already does," Sana hissed, still wishing to press the nerves of this conversation, "You made me fucking miserable, Jeong."

"I know," Jeongyeon said in a low voice, a resigned voice, a voice that would do anything for this to be over for good, "So let it go. Let me go."

"You know I can't do that," Sana exhaled, tears in the corners of her eyes. Wrap it up. Cry in your fucking car, you're not doing that shit here.

"I'll unblock you, okay?" Jeongyeon stepped closer. She wanted so badly to hold Sana in this moment but she knew they'd both be worse off for it, "I'll text you back. I'll get coffee with you when you're back from France and you can tell me about all the handbags you bought and cakes you ate."

Sana sniffed.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise. Just don't drop in like this again. Please, jagi."

"Whatever, just stop calling me that," Sana spat. Perfect. Exit time. Get the fuck out.

The blonde turned on her heel and opened the door. Jeongyeon let her slam it behind herself, giving her the gift of the dramatic exits she always loved. Jeongyeon went to grab her phone from the bedroom, then went straight to the kitchen, crouching to open the cupboard under her sink. She reached to the back behind the cleaning products and pulled out the cigarettes and lighter she stashed in case of emergency. And if this wasn't an emergency, what the fuck was? Jeongyeon lit it as she walked out the front door of her apartment, taking a long drag as she stood against the cold rail of the outdoor walkway in her tshirt and boxers and looked out over the parking lot.

Headlights illuminated the dark space, and the little red convertible pulled out of the visiting spot. Jeongyeon opened her phone, unblocked Sana's number, and was met with dozens of texts that ranged from hostile to paranoid to downright deranged. She didn't bother reading any of them. She knew what they said without needing to read them.

'Get home safe.'

Jeongyeon hit send on the message and pocketed her phone, taking another long drag from her cigarette and feeling tears creep into the corner of her eyes. Sorry Mina. Guess I'm still the same sucker I always was. Maybe old dogs can’t learn new tricks.

Notes:

Thoughts, felings, opinions? Did we like this chapter?

What do you think about future direction? I've written some further chapters that don't involve Sana, but she'll have to come back eventually. I take a lot of inspiration from comments so come chat to me!

Oh, this chapter is based on 4 songs btw - Like a Ritual by Title Fight, Hunting for Sport by Remo Drive, Your Graduation by Modern Baseball, and Self Esteem by the Offspring. Listen to these tracks if you want a bit of context for these two, promise these songs arent as heavy as my previous recommendations haha.

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Chapter 4

Notes:

Hello everyone! Chapter 4 is here!!

So the good news is, I've figured out how I wanna finish this!! I've already drafted up Chapter's 5 and 6, and will begin working on the final Chapter very soon! Presently these are still drafts, and they really need to be edited all together, so please be patient with this story. Trust me that you will get an ending, I hope that's enough to keep you invested, even if the upload schedule is a bit random.

Come let me know your thoughts in the comments, or come ask me questions/chat with me on tumblr!

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(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Saturday afternoon. T-minus 3 hours until the date with Yoo Jeongyeon. Park Jihyo was about to ring the emergency alarm and hit panic stations because she had no fucking idea what she was going to wear to dinner.

"Why did I agree to wearing something slutty? What the fuck should I wear?" Jihyo barked into her phone at Son Chaeyoung as she frantically went through her wardrobe again.

She felt ridiculous. She'd never been this out of sorts for a date. But something about the knowledge of Jeongyeon showing up tonight in a suit had Jihyo feeling giddy and lightheaded. She wanted to look good tonight. She wanted Jeongyeon's jaw on the floor. She wanted Jeongyeon distracted at dinner and handsy as soon as they reached her apartment. Oh fuck, she was down something bad for this woman.

"I told you to come up and see me and I'd do a personal shopper session with you," the apparel floor manager replied, only partially annoyed by Jihyo's meltdown of her own creation, "You literally never listen to my advice!"

"Yeah because the one time I listened to you about coming out to gigs and this is where it's gotten me!"

"Uh, going on a date with a hot tatted up dyke that's literally nuts about you?" Chaeyoung scoffed, laughing hard on the other side of the line, "You should be thanking me."

"My therapist will be thanking you for resurfacing my fucking anxiety, Chaeyoung," Jihyo laughed, moving to her drawers to look at skirts, "She's gonna love wringing my wallet dry getting this under control again. I'm backsliding here. I'm gonna need to get on the strong meds this time."

"You're so melodramatic. You don't need to get back on your meds when you're gonna be getting fucked stupid later," Chaeyoung quipped, making Jihyo's mind wander again with thoughts of what Jeongyeon's apartment layout looked like. What Jeongyeon's bedroom smelled like. What Jeongyeon's linen felt like on Jihyo's naked front as she got railed from behind. Okay, enough of that, don't get yourself horny when you're talking to one of your best friends and professional colleagues you freak.

"Alright, what do I wear tonight that tells her that? What screams 'fuck me so hard I no longer need therapy', Chaeya?" Jihyo asked with far too much sincerity in her voice.

Chaeyoung just chuckled.

"Wear that short little black dress with the spaghetti straps that shows off your shoulders and back," Chaeyoung advised in earnest through the phone, "You look hot in black and the chances of Jeongyeon wearing black are high. You'll make a cute couple."

Jihyo blushed at the comment, remembering the moment in the bathroom the week before.

"You know she asked me last week if I thought we make a good-looking couple?" Jihyo said, looking through her wardrobe for the afore mentioned dress. Chaeyoung was right, she looked fucking hot in it. Last time she wore it out she had three different guys try to give her their number. Maybe she should consider listening to Chaeyoung's advice a little more often.

"Oooo, and what did you say?" Chaeyoung sang, obviously entertained.

"I agreed. We look really good together," Jihyo replied, finding the dress and smoothing out a few creases. It was shorter than she remembered. Perfect.

"Well this is basically date number three, probably getting to that point where you think about going exclusive."

Jihyo rolled her eyes. Of course you'd say that you little freak. You and Tzuyu moved in together after 3 months of dating. You're a textbook lesbian, Chaeyoung.

"Yeah maybe, I dunno, I wanna get to know her a bit more," Jihyo said without too much thought, now working through her underwear drawer to figure out which set would match best, "Ugh, how do I own so many lingerie sets and none of them match?"

Chaeyoung laughed, loud and abrupt.

"Jeongyeon asks you to show off your tits and you can't figure out what to wear? Zyo, God invented the push up bra for your tits on this date you idiot."

"Ugh you're a fucking genius. There's a reason they have you in apparel and me in home appliances," Jihyo chuckled in reply, pulling out her simple black push up bra and trying to figure out which of her black panties matched best. Why the fuck is this shit so hard? Surely this is easier for Jeongyeon wearing only masc shit right? Does she overthink her outfits the same as I do?

"So what else do you wanna get to know about her before locking her down?" Chaeyoung asked, causing Jihyo to take a moment of pause and ponder a bit further.

"Feel like she's got baggage and doesn't know how to share it," Jihyo replied, settling on a lacy black pair of panties that she felt matched well with her bra. "I dunno, I don't need her whole life story or anything, but I need to at least peak inside that baggage before I'm making commitments. Reasonable?"

"Pretty reasonable," Chaeyoung agreed before her tone got a bit more serious, "Just so you know, if you ever want me to dig up any dirt, I'd do that for you. Jeongyeon and I run in similar crowds, lots of mutual friends. If something seems off, I can ask around."

"You're a fucking real one, Chaeng," Jihyo smiled to herself at the offer, "You should really be offering those services up to Momo though. She is fucking whipped for Mina."

"Momo needs to stop sleeping with half the women in Seoul if she wants a shot at anything serious with Mina," Chaeyoung laughed hard at the notion before pivoting, "Anyway, I'm gonna split. You have a good night yeah? Call Momo when you're doing your makeup."

"You bet I will," Jihyo agreed. Momo's years of experience behind the cosmetics counter was fucking invaluable tonight, and the brunette was leveraging every lifeline she could, "Thanks babe. I'll give you all the gossip on Monday."

"You fucking better! Okay, love you, bye Zyo!"

"Bye Chaeya."

Silence. So much silence. Oh fuck don't leave me alone with my thoughts right now. I'm spiraling enough as is. Just get dressed Jihyo. Push up your tits, get in the dress, and let Momo tell you how to make your face hot. Shit, I didn't ask Chaeng about what shoes I should wear. Oh fuck, what shoes do I wear?

---


Jihyo stepped out of the train station and scanned her Maps app like her life depended on it, attempting to cement the route in her brain so she could show up looking more confident than she currently felt.

Take a left at the end of this street, then a right when I hit the boutique, then hard pivot past the Italian place. Left, then right, then pivot. Left, then right, then pivot.

Jihyo took the left hand turn at the end of the street and felt her heart beat in her chest.

Jihyo took the right hand turn at the boutique and heard her breathing become uneven.

Jihyo took a pivot past the bustling Italian restaurant and felt like she might throw up because surely she was in the wrong-

Oh.

Oh fuck.

Jeongyeon looks so fucking hot.

Stood on the curb and leaning a shoulder against a streetlight was a cigarette smoking Jeongyeon that looked like everything Jihyo had dreamed of and more. Chaeyoung was right that she wore a black suit, and it was cut so fucking right that Jihyo needed to ask who her tailor was. The leg of the pants was hemmed a good inch above the ankle, showing off hot pink socks that popped against shiny black loafers that looked well cared for. Up top was a maroon button up that looked like silk, worn under the suit jacket that was loose without looking baggy or unkept. But what made Jihyo bite her lip was Jeongyeon's hair. Her mullet was slicked back, sides freshly shaved, length shorter to flick out just past her ears.

She got a haircut. She got a haircut for me.

Jeongyeon was scanning the space slowly on the lookout for her date. And as she peered over her shoulder and caught Jihyo approaching from the end of the street, the brunette swore her heart almost gave out at the look Jeongyeon gave her. A casually serious expression shifting to one that was incredibly radiant. Eyes sparkling, lips curling up, body relaxing under just the sight of Jihyo walking up to her.

Jeongyeon dropped her cigarette on the ground and walked fast to meet her halfway.

"Hi Jeong," Jihyo called out, feeling her heart flutter, wondering if she'd ever been as attracted to anyone as she was to Jeongyeon in this moment, "You look- god, you look great."

Of all the compliments, Jihyo. Come on. This is the most handsome, dashing, well dressed, sexy individual you've ever laid eyes on. And the best you could come up with is 'great'?

But Jeongyeon still blushed and dipped her head shyly at the words. Cute. Cute. Cute. You're so fucking cute you big softie.

"Hi Jihyo," Jeongyeon smiled as she stopped a few feet back just to take a long look up and down the brunette.

Jihyo had worn her hair down in waves that cascaded down her front. Makeup dark and smoky to match the short black dress that finished on her upper thigh, showing off gorgeous tan skin in the summer night. Jihyo was convinced her tits had never looked better than they did right now. Thank you Lord for giving me this rack. Thank you Chaeyoung for teaching me what to do with it.

"You look breathtaking," Jeongyeon's assessment was appropriate considering she could barely articulate that sentence. Jihyo couldn't help but blush hard at how openly Jeongyeon stared at her body. To say she appreciated the attention would be a gross understatement. She was already eager to ditch dinner plans and find the quickest route to Jeongyeon's apartment.

Jihyo stepped closer and pecked the punks cheek as a greeting, taking the spider-tattooed hand in her own and squeezing as she looked Jeongyeon in the eye. Well, as best she could considering the punks eyes could barely stop wandering over her body.

"Did I do a good job? Slutty enough?" Jihyo bit her tongue between her teeth in a taunting grin, pulling Jeongyeon's gaze back up and causing her to flush red.

"Very good job," Jeongyeon nodded with too much sincerity considering the subject matter, causing Jihyo to cackle.

"Alright handsome, let's get inside and you can explain to me what the fuck fusion food means," Jihyo shoved her shoulder against Jeongyeon's, pulling her attention away from the younger woman's cleavage again.

Jeongyeon just laughed and the pair walked inside the bustling restaurant and were taken to their seats, a slightly more private table that sat a little further to the back, away from the loud bar.

"Intimate. How many favours did you call in to get these seats on a Saturday night?" Jihyo joked as she let Jeongyeon pull out her seat for her to sit down.

"Only two," Jeongyeon smiled, removing her jacket to throw over her chair and take a seat. The maroon button up was short sleeved, and Jeongyeon's dark tattoos on her forearms popped against the colour. Jihyo blushed at the response, hiding behind her menu, endeared that Jeongyeon truly did leverage connections for this night. Are my standards really that low that a haircut and a flashy table at a cool restaurant have me ready to rip my clothes off for this women? It's irrelevant, I've already gotten naked for her for less.

"Have you been to a place like this before?" Jeongyeon asked as she poured the both of them a glass of water.

"I don't think so. The most adventurous I get is a Japanese place near my apartment," Jihyo replied, slightly embarrassed. It had never really been in the budget to go out to fancy restaurants or try a wide array of foreign foods. Jihyo had always been the friend to suggest karaoke or street markets because it was the best value for money. She'd never really had much extra in the bank to splurge on the finer things in life. In preparing for tonight, she'd even picked up overtime shifts during the week in order to avoid making a withdrawal from her savings account.

"So the guy that owns the place was born in America. Super nice dude. All the food is kinda like traditional Korean food mixed with American preparation," Jeongyeon pointed out a few of the meals that were being walked to tables by waitstaff, "If you trust me, I'll just order us a bunch of stuff and we can share it?"

"I definitely trust you to make a decision on food, but I'm also on a budget."

Jeongyeon waved her hand in front of her face as she took a sip of water.

"I picked the place, only fair I pay."

"Jeong," Jihyo lowered the menu and dropped her voice. She hated feeling indebted to others. Hated having the financial independence she worked so hard to attain be so easily dismissed.

"You pay for the next date," Jeongyeon smiled warmly, reaching out to squeeze Jihyo's hand. The younger woman softened at the gesture and squeezed back.

"Bold to assume there'll be another date," Jihyo teased, interlocking their fingers lightly.

"I'll take that risk," Jeongyeon replied with a grin that could melt snow in a blizzard. Fuck she's smooth.

Jihyo just rolled her eyes and agreed.

Jeongyeon flagged a waitress and pointed out the items they'd be ordering. Jihyo was impressed by her English skills, not that she had any idea what most of the foreign ingredients actually were. The younger woman couldn't help but do the mental tally in her head at the items Jeongyeon was ordering. Horrible habit. A habit she hated but couldn't help. The financial calculator in the recess of Jihyo's brain could never really be turned off. She'd already decided that if there was room for dessert, they'd be getting ice cream from the convenience store she passed on the walk here. Can't you just let someone spoil you for once?

"What do you want to drink?" Jeongyeon turned her attention back to Jihyo and the younger woman already had her reply ready. Jihyo listed off the cheapest beer on the menu. Rude not to take up the offer, but there was no way Jihyo could justify ordering anything even a hundred won more expensive. Jeongyeon was already spending too much on her.

The waitress left with their order and Jeongyeon reached across the table again, fingers tracing over Jihyo's, bidding to hold her hand again. The younger woman blushed, lightly tracing her fingers over Jeongyeon's.

"Your burns are all healed," the brunette commented, fingers rubbing the skin and finding no trace of the marks there a week ago.

"Of course, you kissed them better," Jeongyeon replied softly, resting her chin in her free palm, looking at how their fingers pressed against each other’s, "You have such pretty hands."

Jihyo held Jeongyeon's hand, feeling flushed under such softness. Looking over the scorpion tattoo on the back of her hand in a different lighting, comparing it to the spider on the other. Definitely the same artist, but one looked slightly more faded. She wondered how long apart were they done.

"Checking out the ink again?" Jeongyeon looked Jihyo in the eye, dopey smile on her face.

"I could look at your tattoos for hours," Jihyo said with fondness, looking over Jeongyeon's forearms. Dragon coiling over one, a flail and gauntlet over the other, "Could look at you for hours."

Jeongyeon broke eye contact and scratched her nose, cheeks pink.

"Maybe a little later."

Jihyo grinned, but before she could reply, their waitress returned with their drinks and the moment passed.

"You work as a manager at department store yeah? You like it?" Jeongyeon asked, sipping her beer.

"Just a supervisor. It's not like, the greatest job but it's okay," Jihyo replied, sipping her beer slow, feeling the need to down play how much she actually enjoyed her job in an attempt to sound cool. Because enjoying being a second-in-charge in the home appliance section of a department store certainly does not scream cool, or punk, or whatever the fuck she was going for here. What am I going for here?

"How'd you fall into it?" Jeongyeon followed up. Jihyo swallowed. People didn't usually follow up.

"Ah, it's kinda lame. There's like, more behind it than just a job. You'll think I'm a loser," Jihyo chuckled, running her fingers through her hair, hoping it was a sufficient enough response for the punk to drop it.

"Come on, I wanna get to know you," Jeongyeon smiled warmly, chin back in her hand, "Besides, you already know I'm a loser that blows all their money on Lego and records and shit. I'm honestly scared to bring you back to my apartment, you're gonna be so unattracted to me."

Jihyo laughed, relaxing in her seat a little more. Remembering who she was talking to here. Remembering how much more she wanted from this than just a nice meal and good sex. Alright, let's peel back a few layers and see what you think, Yoo Jeongyeon.

"So my family owns this little convenience store out in Guri, right? Grew up working in it for as long as I can remember. We didn't really have a lot of money," Jihyo tried to sound nonchalant, but was steadily realising how little people in her life really knew this side of her. Money was always a topic that got her slightly neurotic, "Growing up like that, working at a department store was kind of the dream job. Good pay, all kinds of nice stuff that you could never afford but now you get a staff discount on."

Jihyo stared off, placing her chin in her palm.  

"It was such a big deal when I applied and got an interview. Borrowed clothes from Momo’s older sister and everything. When I got the call that I landed the job, God, I was so happy. Kinda silly. I mean, high schoolers work at department stores. But it was huge for me," Jihyo chuckled lightly to herself, eyes moving back to the cold beer in her other hand, "Six years now. And I still only use my staff discount on stuff that's already on sale. I buy my mother her New Year's gifts in June."

Jihyo looked back at Jeongyeon, chin still in her hand, smiling soft as she listened. Jihyo exhaled a laugh, forced,

"Lame huh?"

Jeongyeon just shook her head.

Their waitress returned with their meals, a combination of food Jihyo had eaten a million times and ones she'd never even heard of. It looked delicious, it looked expensive.

Jeongyeon picked up a piece of duck with her chopsticks and held it up to Jihyo. The younger woman flushed red and opened her mouth, taking a bite of the offering. It was so good she could cry. Who knew food could taste like this?

"Wanna know why I became a chef? Free food," Jeongyeon said, seperating the variety of small meals and serving them up on Jihyo's plate. The younger woman just watched, letting the tattooed woman make her a plate of all the weird and wonderful things she'd ordered for them.

"Never went to high school, so I'm dumb as a fuckin’ post. Figured I better get work where I could eat for free. But then I got into culinary school and I really fell in love with it. Couldn't imagine doing anything else now."

Jeongyeon passed Jihyo her plate, smiling soft, a little sadness behind her eyes.

"Reckon that's lame?"

Jihyo's lips curled upwards in a shy smile, accepting the plate and shaking her head. You get it. You fucking get it. God, you just get me.

The pair ate and Jeongyeon asked for Jihyo's opinion on every individual dish. And although the younger woman felt a little embarrassed trying to explain what she did and didn't like with her basic palette, at no point did Jeongyeon try to correct her or flaunt her own knowledge on the food. She just seemed interested. Curious. And that made Jihyo curious. She wondered if the punk was making a list in her head that would be pulled out at a later point. Maybe the next date location. Maybe a home cooked meal. Please cook for me. I really want you to cook for me.

"Holy shit that was the best meal I've ever had," Jihyo leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes in contentment. Appreciating how easy the night had been. How easily the two of them communicated. How Jeongyeon could be so funny and so sincere and so vulnerable all at once. God, Jihyo was down so bad.

"Dessert?" Jeongyeon asked.

"I need to take a walk first," Jihyo replied with practiced ease, determined for not a single cent more to be spent on her behalf by her date tonight.

"Alright, I'll go pay and we'll take a walk," Jeongyeon stood up from the table and Jihyo watched her walk up to the bar, again appreciating how incredibly hot she looked tonight. Jihyo wondered if it might be worth it to do some more overtime if it meant going out to dinner with Jeongyeon just to see what she wore. Just to see what other weird places she picked. Just to spend more time with her.

The pair stepped out onto the street and Jihyo brought her shoulders up to her neck and hissed. The hot atmosphere of the restaurant now replaced with the fresh air of the city street. Jihyo cursed herself for forgetting a jacket, the night was only going to get colder and she was dressed in far too skimpy of an outfit to-

Warmth. Her shoulders were warm. Jeongyeon's blazer.

"Damn, that looks good on you with that dress," the punk said, stepping back to take an overly dramatic look. Jihyo just blushed, wrapping the jacket around herself like an embrace. It smelled like cigarettes and something earthy, maybe sandalwood. Momo would know, but how the hell do I describe a smell to someone?

"You're not cold?" Jihyo asked softly as they began to walk slowly towards the train station.

"Nah, you need it more than me right now," Jeongyeon dismissed.

"Jeong," Jihyo pressed.

Jeongyeon waved her hand in front of her face. Same as earlier when offering to pay for dinner.

"I asked you to dress slutty, only fair I take responsibility, right?"

Jihyo stopped walking, reaching out to hook a finger around one of the punk’s belt loops.

"Jeong, can you kiss me?" Jihyo asked quietly. She didn't know why her voice sounded so small in this moment. Maybe something about being so seen, so considered. Something about this night, Jihyo had the feeling it wasn't just for show. Like the older woman wasn't trying to go out of her way to impress her. Wasn't trying to flaunt the cash in her wallet, or her expertise on foreign food, or her taste in outfit that made her look so fucking good. Wasn't trying to be something she wasn't. It felt genuine. It felt unconditional. Like if Jihyo wanted to say goodnight and return to her own apartment right now, there'd be no resentment. Like she'd still wake up to a good morning text tomorrow, and a question on when they'd do this again. Oh shit, I'm falling for you so hard.

Jeongyeon turned, stepped close, and slipped her hands inside the opening of the blazer to place hardened hands on a soft waist.

"Right here? In the street for everyone to see?" Jeongyeon whispered, a small reminder that this meant something different than a kiss in the alleyway behind a bar. Than a kiss on the curb of a residential neighbourhood. Than a kiss in this exact spot, but where one of them was born a man.

Jihyo knew. And Jihyo still nodded.

"If people wanna look, let them see I'm yours," the younger woman whispered, eyes big and full of an adoration that eclipsed any nerves about what others might think. What they might see. What they might say. She saw Jeongyeon's cheeks flush pink again, and wondered briefly what type of resignations the older woman might hold before the punk leaned in for a gentle kiss.

It was small. It was soft. It was brief. But it meant a lot. It meant a lot more to both of them than it would to most of the other couples holding hands and walking through the streets after a Saturday night date. Even as they withdrew from the embrace, Jihyo held her eye contact, overwriting an instinct to look over her shoulder in fear of someone seeing, commenting. Because right now she didn't care. Something about Jeongyeon made her feel fearless. Made her feel like she could brush off anything muttered under someone's breath as they walked past.

Jeongyeon squeezed Jihyo's waist softly before moving them to the younger woman's hands, still locked around her belt loops. She took both hands in her own, and Jihyo felt she might be the only woman in the world in this moment. Jeongyeon's gaze so deep and tender that the brunette felt enveloped in something warmer than just her jacket. The punk brought both hands up to her lips and kissed the younger woman's knuckles. A gesture than made Jihyo's breath hitch in her throat.

Jeongyeon murmured against tan skin,

"Are we going somewhere for dessert? Or moving this to my place?"

Fuck convenience store ice cream, if I'm not naked on your bed in the next 30 minutes I'm going to die.

"Your place," Jihyo replied softly, feeling her heart beating loud in her chest.

Jeongyeon lowered her hands, taking one and entwining their fingers, starting their walk to the train station again. Chat was infrequent now. Something deeper pulsing between them that was better felt in silence than acknowledged or explained. Jihyo could feel her heart opening up to this person. Could feel vulnerability pouring from her chest and they were barely even talking, barely even touching. She felt like she could tell the older woman anything. And she prayed to any God that might still be listening that Jeongyeon felt the same way about her.


---


"Oh my god, you're such a little nerd, I can't even take it," Jihyo teased as she looked over the bookshelves lining the wall of Jeongyeon's living room.

"Told you you'd be unattracted to me when you see my place," Jeongyeon chuckled, making herself a glass of water in the kitchen as she watched Jihyo's smile widening as she scanned the stuff on her shelves.

"Uh, I'm more attracted to you, this is cool."

Jeongyeon's bookshelves were an amalgamation of her interests and hobbies, all held in one place and on proud display. An enormous number of CDs, cassettes, and vinyl records lined most of the shelves, broken up by completed Lego sets, art prints, memorabilia from horror movies. Jihyo could tell that everything was placed extremely meticulously, all of the punk’s music carefully alphabetised, all of the collectibles placed in spots that made bright colours more vibrant.

Jeongyeon joined Jihyo by the shelf, handing her a glass.

"Never had much growing up," Jeongyeon looked over the shelves, sipping her water slow, "Could never keep much at the other places I lived either. When I moved into my own place, it was my first opportunity to spend money on fun stuff."

"You're so interesting," Jihyo replied, unable to entirely relate. All of her money was wrapped up in high interest savings accounts. An irrational anxiety ever-present in the back of her mind that reminded her how easy it would be for her to suddenly lose everything. An anxiety she'd come a long way from in therapy, but one that still held her back from purchasing anything beyond a strict criterion of being deemed functional.

 

But looking over all these things that lined the bookshelves of Jeongyeon's living room, Jihyo felt a slight shift in herself. Maybe it would be nice to spend money on something fun every once in a while.

"Good interesting?" Jeongyeon asked, moving away to sit on her couch, placing her glass on a scuffed coffee table.

"Yeah," Jihyo trailed off absent mindedly, shaking her head and moving away from the shelf. The younger woman placed her glass down at the coffee table as well, and sat herself down to straddle the punks lap, "Very good."

The brunette cupped cool cheeks and leaned down to kiss the punk slow and deep. Jihyo realised this was the first time she'd kissed Jeongyeon this deeply without it tasting of cigarettes, and she felt her heart flutter in her chest. Jihyo swiped her tongue over the punk’s lip, being allowed entry and moaning into the embrace. Every movement felt so intentional, so emotional. Like they were sharing so much more than just spit in this moment. Sharing something so vast and unable to be defined that it felt all consuming. Jihyo felt warm under her skin, but she didn't feel rushed. The older woman's hands held the back of her thighs, tracing the hemline of her skirt, gently flirting with something more without pushing the line.

Jihyo moved her fingers to the punk’s shirt, unbuttoning at a leisurely pace. The younger woman couldn't help but smirk at the sigh that passed onto her tongue at the first brush of hands on skin. Jeongyeon was obviously worked up. And Jihyo wanted to give her so much attention tonight.

"Shit Jeong," the younger woman breathed as she pulled back to look at the punk below her. Flushed, panting, totally at Jihyo's beck and call. Oh fuck she looked delicious when she was coming undone.

Jihyo slipped her hands under a black sports bra and watched the punk’s brow furrow slightly as her thumbs pressed pierced nipples. The younger woman circled, unhurried, and the punk moaned low, head falling back against the couch. Jihyo grinned, taking it as an invitation to run her tongue up the pulse point of Jeongyeon's neck.

"Oh fuck," Jeongyeon groaned, voice drawn out as she lifted her chin to allow more access. Jihyo accepted, placing hot kisses and long licks over skin untouched by a needle.

"No tattoos here?" the younger woman questioned in a husk, thumbs pressing a little harder and pulling another moan from the woman below.

"Saving it for a rainy day," Jeongyeon replied, breathless, totally at the mercy of the brunette working over her chest and neck at an excruciating pace. 

"I could give you a mark or two," Jihyo teased, teeth grazing over the sensitive skin, earning a hiss.

"Please," Jeongyeon sighed, tilting her head.

Something primal inside Jihyo awakened, and the younger woman had to hold herself back from covering Jeongyeon's neck in the darkest, most obscene bruises. The brunette pinched hard nipples between her fingers and nipped at the skin being so beautifully offered. She sucked, feeling the punk's hands move higher to squeeze her ass as her hips rolled as if on instinct. Jihyo couldn’t help but moan as she finished the love bite, a gorgeous bruise that made her heart swell on sight. Jihyo couldn't help but kiss it, kiss around the edges, kiss up to Jeongyeon's ear and just fucking melt at how much this woman was squirming under her touch.

"You really do get weak having your nipples touched," Jihyo whispered hot, reminded of their first night together and how hard Jeongyeon came against her from having her chest played with.

"Really weak," Jeongyeon sighed, eyes struggling to stay open under the steady stream of pleasure Jihyo was delivering.

"I really like touching you, Jeong," Jihyo placed a kiss on the corner of the punks jaw, pinching and feeling the older woman rock her hips again, "It’s like your body needs me."

"Jihyo, you have no idea how long my body's been waiting for someone like you," Jeongyeon's head rolled to the side again and her breath became ragged as Jihyo's hands withdrew and moved south the unlatch her belt.

The younger woman smiled against a very flushed neck, mind wandering, trying to figure out if there was more behind that than just dirty talk. But Jihyo didn't let herself get distracted, finishing the job of removing the clasp of the leather wrapped around her fingers and making quick work of the buttons on Jeongyeon's slacks. The brunette shifted, sinking from the older woman's lap to her feet, sat on her knees and looking up with so much want.

The punk lifted her hips, letting Jihyo pull down her slacks to her ankles, and sighed as hot kisses made their way up the black ink of her thighs. Jihyo kissed intricate artwork of a crane in flight against the sun, a snake twisting over skull, a large dagger piercing through a bat, a castle crumbling and engulfed in flames. She kissed and licked and nipped over the dark lines that made Jeongyeon's skins all the more gorgeous, wanting to show the older woman just how much she adored her body.

Jihyo's fingers crept up to the waistband of black boxers and pulled them down, a small moan falling from her lips at the sight of Jeongyeon's cunt. She ran her fingers over the short, dark hair on the punks mound, lips curling when she realised there was another tattoo hidden underneath. Something she'd ask about at a later point. Right now she was too worked up to deny herself any longer from burying her face between such perfect thighs.

"Shit that's good," Jeongyeon groaned as Jihyo ran her tongue up a wet, hot slit. The brunette felt her heart skip a beat as she looked up at how wrecked the punk was already. Knuckles white, sweat on her temple, mouth open and panting ragged breaths. It made the younger woman feel so desired, so fucking wanted. She wanted to give Jeongyeon everything.

The younger woman wrapped her lips around Jeongyeon's clit, swollen and throbbing on her tongue as she pumped the bud slow. Same as the week before, the older woman bucked and writhed having her clit sucked, and Jihyo loved to indulge that behaviour.

"You taste so fucking good," Jihyo couldn't help but breathe as she resumed sucking Jeongyeon's clit, moaning as a hand moved to the back of her head to grip her hair. She felt herself getting carried away, dizzy, just so drunk off eating this woman's cunt that she could barely put together a single coherent thought. She just wanted to be dumb and held right here for as long as she possibly could.

"You're breaking me with how good this feels," Jeongyeon groaned louder and arched her back, rolling against the younger woman's tongue, "Fuck I needed this."

Jihyo thought again about Jeongyeon's earlier comment. Maybe not just standard dirty talk.

"Been awhile since you got head this good?" Jihyo smirked, playful, bidding for a compliment she felt she'd earned considering the work she'd put into the flushed folds of a woman coming apart.

Jihyo placed hot kisses on Jeongyeon's clit and the older woman groaned in reply,

"Been ages since I got head at all. And you're really fucking talented."

Jihyo felt her heart pounding in her chest at the admission. Felt herself ache at the thought of spoiling Jeongyeon absolutely rotten with her tongue. She wanted to do this forever. She wanted to give this woman so much beyond just her tongue, her cunt, her body. She wanted to give this woman everything and more.

"Might need to help you make up for lost time then," Jihyo looked up and wrapped her lips around the older woman's clit, sucking deep and messy and fast. Jeongyeon looked down at her, face scrunched in so much pleasure she couldn't handle it. The younger woman revelled in such a reaction. Jihyo couldn't help but think of Jeongyeon when she was sweaty and screaming into a microphone and throwing people across a crowd. How angry and strong and fearsome Jeongyeon looked in those moments. And in comparison, how absolutely weak she looked right now. A mess of nice clothes unbuttoned and splayed out, a panting body that couldn't get even, a cunt that was dripping onto Jihyo's tongue with so much desperation. Enough torture, let's give her the first one.

Jihyo closed her eyes and focussed her tongue under the hood of Jeongyeon's clit, trying to find the spots she found last week when she made Jeongyeon cum in Mina's bathroom. Judging by the grip tightening on the back of her hair, she'd found the right spot.

Jeongyeon thrust up, chasing that final friction she needed.

"Fuck Jihyo, you're gonna- oh shit, fuck," Jeongyeon moaned loud, clenched her eyes closed, and threw her head back in ecstasy as a climax ripped through her body. Jihyo wrapped her arms around shaking thighs, holding the older woman steady as she slowed her pace, flattened her tongue and lapped up the arousal she was being rewarded with for a job well done. She adored how reactive Jeongyeon's body was, so easy to attune to and work over with tender affections. She couldn't help but think of words uttered on their first night together, cunts pressed slick together and grinding, it's like you were made for me.

The grip on Jeongyeon's hair relaxed and Jihyo sighed, some clarity returning to her brain. The younger woman kissed slow over the punk’s folds until her hips pulled back slightly on instinct. Sensitive. Cute. So cute. Oh god you're so fucking adorable, Yoo Jeongyeon.

"You alright, baby?" Jihyo asked, arms unlocking from strong thighs and moving up the punk’s body. Palms kneaded against the tigers on Jeongyeon's stomach, presently Jihyo's favourite of all her tattoos.

"Alright is a fucking understatement," the older woman breathed, looking down with a look laced in want, "That was incredible."

"I really like eating your cunt, Jeong," Jihyo blushed. This was direct, even for her. But it was truthful. And she felt it needed to be said. Needed to give Jeongyeon that confirmation that she really fucking enjoyed herself. Needed to give Jeongyeon the permission to ask for more if she wanted it. Please ask for more.

"Can I keep going?" Jihyo pressed, placing kisses over the older woman’s mound, feeling her body arch up slightly to the contact.

"Let’s move to the bed, you can't be comfy on your knees," Jeongyeon exhaled a short laugh, hand moving from Jihyo's hair to her cheek.

"I'm plenty comfortable, baby," Jihyo teased, running her tongue in the crease connecting Jeongyeon's core to her thighs. The older woman shivered, hips lifting again. Body so needy for more contact.

Jeongyeon pulled the younger woman away, leaning down to capture Jihyo's lips in a kiss. The brunette blushed, something so intimate in being kissed with so much adoration when she was the one in her knees. The punks tongue pressed into her mouth, taking in the taste of herself on Jihyo's tongue. The pair couldn't help but sigh.

"If we move to the bed, we can go another round while you sit on my face," Jeongyeon smirked, the younger woman melting at the suggestion. Jihyo had just become painfully aware of her own aching need between her legs, and suddenly the thought of waiting any longer seemed like a death sentence.

The younger woman broke the kiss and rose to her feet, watching the woman on the couch strip the half-removed clothes from her body until she was only in her pink socks. Cute, cute, cute, I could die if this cutie doesn't make me fucking cum on her tongue.

Jeongyeon stood up and kissed Jihyo hot and hard. Hands moved all over each other, Jeongyeon working at the zipper of the younger woman's dress while the brunette groped and squeezed the soft flesh of the punk’s waist. Jihyo stepped out of her dress, letting the fabric fall to the floor as confident hands made quick work of her bra.

"Fuck you looked good in that dress tonight," the older woman husked, kissing the brunettes jaw, "Even better with it off though."

Jihyo let the older woman take the lead, allowing herself to feel how much Jeongyeon wanted her through her hands. Warm. Attentive. Fixated on every individual part of her. When Jeongyeon touched her body she felt so hot, so sexy, so desirable. A gorgeous feeling of gratitude was pressed against her skin, reminding Jihyo of their first time together and how special she felt under all this attention. Her brain was going hazy with just how fucking horny she was in this moment.

The pair stumbled into the small, dark bedroom, Jeongyeon laying in her back and beckoning Jihyo over. The younger woman discarded her underwear, chastising her past self for getting so worked up overthinking what to wear when it was never going to matter. She could've worn her oldest pair of cotton panties and Jeongyeon would still look at her like she was the hottest woman on the planet.

Jihyo crawled onto the bed and wasted no more time in sitting herself down on Jeongyeon's face. She was going insane with need and fuck if the older woman wasn't about to do everything she could to alleviate that.

"Oh fuck Jeong, that's amazing," Jihyo groaned loud, filling the room. She rolled her hips, feeling the punk weave her tongue over her folds and tease her opening, reminding Jihyo how badly she needed to be filled.

Jihyo willed herself to be patient, distracting her mind by laying down on-top of the older woman and taking her clit back into her mouth. Jeongyeon groaned against the younger woman's pussy, and the pair both bucked into each other mouths. They found a harmony in their movements, working their tongues over each other, sucking and groaning and thrusting with something feral coursing over them. Like they both needed this more than the other really knew. Like this was more than just a hookup. More than just getting off. Jihyo felt so complete when wrapped up in this woman. So gorgeously enveloped in affection and care and erotic filth that she could barely contain herself. Jeongyeon was so fucking good with her mouth, so attentive to the spots that made the brunette weak. She could be wrapped up like this for hours, fuck, maybe they could be. Nothing stopping us from just eating each other's cunts all night, is there? Okay, maybe a quick intermission so I can get fucked stupid.

"Shit, shit, shit," Jihyo cursed against hot wetness as Jeongyeon focussed her efforts on a spot that made her thighs quiver. She'd been built up far too long by this point. She really needed to cum.

The younger woman dropped a little more of her weight and grinded against Jeongyeon's tongue, the older woman taking the hint to stay on that spot and hit it over and over. Jihyo groaned and tried to focus on hammering her tongue on the sensitive areas of the punk's clit, and within a minute both of them were climaxing on each other's tongues.

As the afterglow of shared orgasms settled into Jihyo's bones, she rolled off Jeongyeon's body, breathless. She felt so good in this moment, so warm and wanted. She was obsessed with this woman; she needed to lock her down and spend every second with her. She needed more of this. More of this intimacy, more of this closeness, more of this mind-blowing sex. Holy fuck was the sex good.

Jeongyeon rolled onto her side lazily, looking over the younger woman with a deep appreciation that made Jihyo's heart ache in her chest. The punk moved a hand to the younger woman's thighs, rubbing over her skin and catching the combination of spit and slick arousal that coated her thighs.

"So fucking pretty," Jeongyeon whispered, as though she were speaking to herself in this moment. It made Jihyo blush to hear words be spoken about her body when she was naked and covered in another woman's spit.

The younger woman arched her hips slightly.

"Jeong, baby," Jihyo breathed, feeling the older woman dip her hand in between drenched folds, parting them, looking over the younger woman with a hunger. Something about their positioning, Jeongyeon's tattooed legs curled near Jihyo's head and vice versa, it felt so casually comfortable. Like they weren't two people falling into bed for only the second time. Like they'd done this dozens of times already.

"Jihyo, baby," Jeongyeon repeated, teasing the entrance of the brunette, hips lifting in response.

"Please fuck me," Jihyo asked in a soft whine, so beyond needy by this point she was almost embarrassed.

Jeongyeon grinned up at the request, moving her body around to spread Jihyo's legs open, resting her head on the younger woman's thigh like a pillow, and letting her other leg drape over her inked up body. The punk laid out on her side and slid two fingers inside the brunettes cunt, pulling a groan from the bottom of the bed.

"Oh that's so gorgeous," Jeongyeon said softly, watching so intently as she lay on Jihyo's thigh and just watched how her body reacted to every pump of her fingers, "All hot and bothered."

Jihyo nodded, even though it wasn't a question.

"I got really worked up when I was on my knees for you," the younger woman felt hot saying it, feeling herself get wetter again. She really was too weak for this woman, "And you're so fucking good with your tongue."

"You taste so good baby, I can't help myself," Jeongyeon punctuated the sentence by leaning in the take a lick up the younger woman's slit, scooping as much wetness as possible and swallowing.

"Jeong, I wanna keep doing this," Jihyo looked down at the older woman, being met with a look of such fondness she thought she might break apart already.

"Need me to fuck you all night?" the older woman asked, settling her cheek back onto a muscled, tan thigh, pumping slow and deep inside her lover.

"No- I mean, yes absolutely," Jihyo felt flustered, struggling to keep her thoughts clear and composed, "But I meant I wanna keep seeing you."

"Yeah?" Jeongyeon looked at Jihyo with so much depth that the younger woman felt as though she was being swallowed whole. Something far too deep for what the younger woman had asked for. She wondered what was passing through the older woman's head in this moment.

"I wanna keep seeing you Jihyo," Jeongyeon replied quietly, unable to keep eye contact, eyes wandering back to her fingers curling inside Jihyo's pussy, "But I- I don't wanna hurt you."

Jihyo hummed, lifting her hips at the slow and deep pace of the punk’s fingers. The younger woman thought of her early conversation with Chaeyoung, about unpacking some of the older woman's baggage. She'd hoped that this could've been a conversation over coffee, but fuck, maybe having Jeongyeon knuckle deep inside her was the right moment to be vulnerable with each other.

"It's not up to you what hurts me. You can't control that baby," Jihyo breathed, moving a hand down to run her fingers through the punk’s mullet. Clean, a little waxy from the product Jeongyeon had used to slick it back, "What're you really scared of?"

"So much," the older woman breathed, keening her head for more of Jihyo's touch against her scalp, "I'm scared of how much I like you. I'm scared of ruining this. I'm scared of how happy I feel when I'm with you. When I think of you."

"You put too much pressure on yourself," Jihyo cooed, closing her eyes for a moment as the older woman curled on a particularly good spot, "You're allowed to be happy."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it. I'm- I'm not a good person," Jeongyeon whispered, placing a soft kiss on Jihyo's thigh, lost in thought as her fingers continued their motions, pulling sighs from the younger woman receiving it. Receiving so much right now.

"You're good enough, Jeong," Jihyo cupped the punk’s cheek, pulling her to look up at the warm smile of the younger woman. The brunette looked at her with so much tenderness, so much sameness. Trying to tell Jeongyeon she understood. Understood so much without needing to be told. There was more here. Jihyo knew there was more underneath all these words. And the younger woman so desperately wanted to come back to this and peel apart more.


"Next weekend I'll take you to dinner at that Japanese place I told you about. We'll go back to mine after and get a little drunk and share some secrets," Jihyo panted, body burning. The consistency of Jeongyeon's pace had crept up on her, and she was so needy for release, "You in?"

Jeongyeon nodded, a small smile curling on her lips.

"Okay," she whispered, tilting to kiss Jihyo's palm against her cheek before turning her attention back to the task at hand, "Need me to make you cum now?"

"Fuck, please do," Jihyo groaned, throwing her head back as Jeongyeon fucked into her harder, hitting the spots that made Jihyo's body shake, made her brain dumb, made her pussy clench, "Haah- right there, right there, fuck."

Jeongyeon leaned in and wrapped her lips around Jihyo's clit, placing hot, messy kisses as she fucked her exactly where she was needed. The younger woman felt her brain go blank, and she bucked her hips up as she finished hard under all the attention. It felt good. Deeply good. So fucking satisfyingly good. Jihyo gripped the older woman's hair, riding out the waves of her orgasm as the punk so attentively worked her through every sensation. It felt intimate. So fucking intimate. Jihyo's head at the end of the bed, Jeongyeon's resting on the crook of her thigh again. Nothing about this felt performative. It just felt like two people who wanted to lose themselves in each other. No, two people who wanted to find themselves in each other.

"How do you feel?" the older woman asked, voice soft, fingers still inside the brunette, curling slightly.

"So fucking good. So full," Jihyo sighed, feeling herself getting wet again under the small motions of the punks fingers, "Mm, please keep fucking me like this. It feels so nice."

"Anything you want, gorgeous."

Notes:

Thoughts, felings, opinions?

Sorry there's no Sana here. Not gonna be much/any Sana in Chapter 5 either. But she'll be back, trust and believe!!

Come let me know the types of music you enjoy beyond Twice! Honestly I like just about any genre. I mostly listen to metal, punk, emo, pop, rock, country, folk, indie, rap. Generally speaking, if there's lyricism and/or a guitar, I'll try it out!! I don't listen to much electronic music, there's some exceptions like Daft Punk, but EDM and House just doesn't really do much for me unfortunately.

Love you all! Feel free to visit me on tumblr if you wanna chat more or ask questions about my fics!

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