Chapter Text
Two years after the war
(Naruto’s POV)
A week before the wedding
Naruto’s life was doing pretty well, actually.
Konoha was peaceful, and the village looked new. Old buildings had been fixed up so well they seemed brand new, and new ones were popping up every month. It had taken a long time to rebuild after Pain and the war, but now it was hard to tell anything had ever happened.
The Five Nations were finally working together for more than just survival. There were festivals almost every week, and decorations with streamers and bright colors were always up. Kids ran around with scraped knees instead of ninja scars.
Kakashi-sensei said his time as Hokage was peaceful but busy. Naruto thought he was doing a great job. Still, he doubted Kakashi was really that busy, since he always had one of those books with him during meetings, the ones Naruto found a bit embarrassing.
But with everything changing around him, Naruto wasn’t sure how he felt about the books anymore.
He noticed Kakashi didn’t read the old books anymore, the ones Jiraiya wrote. Now it was always something new, with different authors and covers.
Naruto wanted to tell Kakashi he could still read the old books he liked. When he mentioned it, Kakashi just smiled and said that since things were so peaceful, he’d already read all the old ones, and now it was time for new stories.
Naruto thought it was funny how Kakashi-sensei always corrected anyone who called him Kakashi-sama.
Sometimes Naruto wondered if people would call him Naruto-sama if he ever became Hokage. The title felt strange, so he kept calling Kakashi “sensei,” thinking that’s what Kakashi liked best.
That afternoon, he ate ramen after a busy morning. He’d been a guest lecturer at the Ninja Academy, teaching young genin about chakra control and how to handle a kunai, just the basics. Most of his mornings were like this now.
He had events, too. The week before, he’d gone to the opening of three new training grounds. He smiled and waved at everyone with their big, excited grins. He also got invited to restaurant openings, but he turned down any that served ramen. He couldn’t betray Ichiraku like that.
He visited charities and orphanages, too, new ones built around Konoha. He’d made sure they were built because he didn’t want any kid in the village to grow up the way he or Iruka-sensei had.
The most boring part of his day was the discussions with the village elders. The subjects were always the same: long-term structure, how peace could be maintained, and how Naruto fit into the future they were building. He understood why the meetings were necessary, and he was glad people could at least count on him. He did pay attention, but that didn’t make them any less boring.
After finishing his bowl, Naruto tried to pay, but they reminded him again that he didn’t have to. It was always free now. He didn’t argue. Instead, he walked through the streets, looking for a stall where he could buy something for Hinata’s dinner. Hinata loved to cook and never let him help in the kitchen when he visited her. But she’d been feeling sick lately, and Naruto doubted she had the energy to cook tonight.
He didn’t think much about his relationship with Hinata. After rescuing her from the moon, people told him he loved her, but he wasn’t sure which memories were real and which ones were fake. He didn’t worry about it. People said love would grow and his feelings would catch up. What mattered was doing the right thing, so he tried.
Hinata was devoted to him. She didn’t question anything. She didn’t push. She never questioned the space between his body and his heart.
All his friends kept telling him how good Hinata was for him. He could still hear them saying, You’re ready. You deserve this.
But what did he deserve, exactly? Naruto wasn’t sure. So when Kakashi-sensei asked if he was ready to settle down, Naruto proposed.
Hinata said yes with tears in her eyes, giving him her whole heart. Everyone was happy. You’re marrying the Hyūga princess. His future was supposed to be everything he wanted, or so people said.
He felt relieved after he proposed. The questions stopped, and the expectations settled around him. But the dull feeling in his chest never went away. His life was supposed to be perfect. With her, it should have been perfect. But Naruto felt like he was standing on the outside, watching his own life through glass.
Was this what peace was supposed to feel like? He wondered if something was missing. He was supposed to be happy, so why did he feel empty whenever Hinata was close?
“You want that to go?” the vendor asked, wrapping the dumplings Naruto had ordered for Hinata’s dinner.
Naruto realized he’d been standing there too long without answering.
“Yes,” he said. “Thank you.”
The walk to the Hyūga compound wasn’t far, but by the time he got there, evening had already fallen. No matter how many times he visited, he was always surprised by how big the place was, the long halls, the wooden buildings, and how the houses seemed to stretch on forever. He’d been to Shikamaru’s house once. The Nara compound was big too, but it didn’t compare to the Hyūga estate.
The guards let him in without question, already used to seeing him. He remembered the first time he’d visited Hinata here, the whispers: Is that Naruto-sama? The village hero? He would smile to them, but say nothing.
As soon as Naruto walked in, he shivered. The windows were always open, and a light breeze moved through the house. He hadn’t even noticed the wind on his way over.
Hinata didn’t live in the main house anymore. Her father, Hiashi-sama, had set up a temporary place for her until the wedding, somewhere with more privacy. Naruto still wasn’t allowed to spend the night. He figured if he really tried, the guards might look the other way, but he hadn’t tested it.
He sat on the couch longer than he meant to. Hinata was in the kitchen. She hadn’t turned around yet, and was unaware of his presence. Naruto coughed to let Hinata know he was there. The dumplings would get cold if he waited any longer.
Hinata’s eyes brightened as soon as she saw him. “Hm? Naruto-kun?”
Naruto stood up, murmuring, “Hinata, I brought you dumplings. How are-”
She didn’t let him finish, already thanking him for dinner. “Naruto-kun! Thank you so much for the dumplings, but I did cook for us. Let’s sit.”
She had cooked for him even when she was sick. Once again, Hinata was gentle and thoughtful about his feelings. Naruto realized he didn’t even know if she liked dumplings. He’d never asked. Hinata would eat whatever she made for him.
“We can eat the dumplings and the rice cakes I made,” she said.
She looked a little better than she had a few days ago, less sick. He remembered how frustrated she’d been about getting sick so close to the wedding.
Naruto sat at the low table while Hinata served her plate, then his. She waited for him to take the first bite before she started eating.
“Do you like it, Naruto-kun?”
Naruto nodded. It tasted fine. His stomach was still full from ramen, and he didn’t feel like eating much, but he took a bite anyway.
When they finished, Naruto offered to do the dishes, but Hinata told him to rest instead. She didn’t want him getting sick too.
Naruto said goodbye, kissed her forehead, and told her to feel better. He said they could have dinner together again tomorrow.
Hinata’s cheeks turned bright pink. She always blushed too much from any physical touch coming from Naruto, whether was a kiss or just holding her hand.
Back in his apartment, Naruto took a hot shower. The building had old pipes that didn’t always work right, sometimes the water was cold when it should be hot, or hot when it should be cold. Tonight, it worked, so he stayed in the shower a little longer.
Putting on his night clothes felt like a chore with everything packed and boxes everywhere. He and Hinata would move into their new house right after the wedding. Hiashi-sama had found it for them.
Naruto felt relieved. He lived comfortably now, no more days of drinking expired milk, but he still didn’t have much money to spare. He’d planned to save up for a house in a few years. Instead, two months before the wedding, Hiashi took him and Hinata to look at houses.
“You are marrying into the main branch, Naruto-sama. It is your right to have a home.”
It wouldn’t be in the Hyūga compound, but it was close enough, a comfortable two-story house, big enough for a family. The neighborhood was nice. It was the first one they saw together, and Hinata picked it right away.
“Naruto-kun, we will be so happy here!” she had said, eyes shining with tears.
If she liked it, that was good enough for Naruto. He thought it was fine.
As he lay in bed alone, while he still could, Naruto tried to think about his future with Hinata. But his mind drifted back to the past instead. It happened almost every night. It was just the stress of the upcoming wedding, he decided. That he was only remembering easier days, back when he wasn’t so busy, he almost convinced himself, until it occurred to him that right now were the easy days.
There was peace. And he drifted into sleep with it.
He dreamed of the Valley of the End. Of the fight, and how Sasuke’s hand would have felt in his, both of them half-dead, refusing to let go. And the want he didn’t name and didn't make sense. The desire that made him feel guilty every time Hinata’s hand curled around his in the dark.
Naruto woke up to the gentle sound of wings tapping at his window. He was still half asleep, but it startled him fully awake. That could only mean one thing.
Sasuke was back in Konoha.
He hadn’t seen Sasuke in three months. Sasuke always said Naruto was annoying for trying to find him when he wasn’t even there.
"Of course, I need to know how your missions were, Sasuke!" Naruto would argue. " I have one job: to maintain peace. So keep me informed, okay?"
Sasuke seemed unconvinced, but he promised to send his hawk with a scroll whenever he came back. Sometimes the scroll had details about where and when to meet. Usually, though, they just met in the shop district late in the morning.
Naruto looked through his pile of clothes, but none seemed clean. Since he’d packed most of his things, he kept wearing the same ones over and over.
After a moment, he opened one of the boxes instead. Inside were new clothes he’d planned to save for after the wedding, once he moved into the new house. He picked out a jacket and clean pants.
He decided to take a quick shower, just in case he’d sweated during the night. The pipes were acting up again, so the water was cold, but he didn’t mind. It was warmer than the night before, and the water felt different on his skin.
He brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and headed out the door. It was early in the morning, so it would probably be a few hours before Sasuke showed up. Still, Naruto figured he could walk around the market in the meantime.
There was so much Naruto wanted to tell Sasuke. The last time they met, Naruto had just gotten engaged. Sasuke only gave him a "Congratulations" in his usual calm voice.
It had rained the night before, and mud was already staining Naruto’s sandals as he walked. He passed a stall selling combs. Would Sasuke want one? He knew Sasuke’s hair was longer now, but he had that headwrap that pressed his hair down, so a comb wouldn't really be helpful.
The smell of hot oil pulled him toward another stall. Someone was frying kakiage. It looked good, but Naruto knew Sasuke didn’t like onions, so he moved on to the dango stall instead. He bought three. Sasuke was probably hungry. It had been a long journey, and he never took much time to eat.
“Oh, those are really good, Naruto-sama, freshly made!”
Naruto thanked the older woman selling them and asked her to double-wrap the dango to keep them warm.
“Of course, Naruto-sama,” she said, already moving. “Double-wrapped in foil! They’ll stay hot for hours.”
Naruto smiled, waved goodbye, and turned around. And then, as if summoned by his thoughts, Sasuke stood before him. Sasuke looked different. He wasn’t wearing that weird cloak Naruto used to tease him about.
The last time they’d seen each other, Naruto had made a comment about how it looked like Sasuke had cut a hole in a sheet and pulled it over his head. He could’ve sworn he’d seen Sasuke’s Sharingan flicker for a second.
Now Sasuke wore a long black cloak, his hair falling forward in a fringe that hid his Rinnegan, and the headwrap was gone. He looked neat and carefully brushed. Naruto cursed himself for not buying the comb.
The wide collar of the cloak showed his neck. Sasuke was so-
He looked so-
Clean.
Yeah. Clean.
“Sasuke! Glad to see you earlier than-I mean, do you want food?” Naruto blurted out. “I bought you dango. You like them, right? I remember you-”
He nearly tripped in the mud, his sandals now completely coated. He stopped to catch his breath, realizing he hadn’t exhaled since he started talking.
He tried again, this time walking more slowly.
“Sasuke,” he said, steadier this time. “I bought you food. Dango. Are you hungry? We can share.”
That was good enough, Naruto thought. His heart was pounding. Maybe he needed to exercise more. Why was his heart racing just from a little running?
“Hi, Naruto.”
Sasuke reached out, taking the dango Naruto offered.
“Thank you.”
They started walking together as they ate, and every time Naruto caught a glimpse of Sasuke’s back, the old ache in his heart lit up again. He kept glancing at Sasuke’s mouth, noticing how his bottom lip was a little-
“Soo, Sasuke,” Naruto said quickly. “You finally got new clothes, huh? Also, how long are you staying?”
He was halfway through a laugh, about to tell Sasuke how his old sensei called him Hokage before the title even fit.
“Did you know Iruka-sensei said-”
But then Sasuke turned around, and Naruto forgot everything he was going to say.
Sasuke’s dark eyes were fixed on him, as if he knew everything Naruto was afraid to admit. The skin on his neck was pale, like it hadn’t seen sunlight in years, like it would bruise too easily if anyone ever dared to-
“What?” Sasuke said, his tone a bit harsher than usual.
Had Sasuke noticed him staring?
Had Sasuke learned some new jutsu that let him read minds?
Naruto snapped back to reality, surprised by where his thoughts had wandered.
“Nothing,” he said, forcing himself to look away.
A nauseating pain settled in his stomach. Probably hunger, he’d forgotten to eat that morning. But how could he eat now, with Sasuke right beside him?
Maybe it was how close they were. Maybe it was knowing that soon, Naruto would belong to someone else, that made him want to reach out and touch Sasuke right now.
It was so strong that he had to stop his hand from moving. His skin would be as soft as it looked, Naruto was sure of it. Would Sasuke lean into him? Let Naruto trail his fingers along his collarbone?
A shiver ran through him. He imagined how warm the inside of Sasuke’s mouth would-
“You look tired,” Sasuke said, stepping an inch closer, making Naruto even more aware of the space between them.
“I-I’m fine.” Naruto wanted to leave, go back to his apartment and finish packing, anything to get away from this moment.
“You can keep the rest of my dango, Naruto,” Sasuke said. “I have to leave.”
“Leave?” Naruto blurted. “So soon? You’re not leaving the village, right?”
The idea of leaving disappeared. He just wanted Sasuke to stay. They’d barely spent any time together today, or in the last few months.
Please don’t say you’re leaving the village. Please don’t say you’re leaving the village.
“No,” Sasuke said. “I’ll be staying a bit longer. I haven’t been assigned a new mission yet.”
“Oh.” Naruto forced a smile. “So, I’ll see you at the wedding?”
Sasuke didn’t answer. He just turned away, pressing the unfinished dango into Naruto’s hand.
Naruto wanted to hug him. Please, let me see you before the wedding. But instead, he turned and walked back toward his room.
After a few steps, Naruto looked over his shoulder and watched Sasuke disappear into the trees. Then Sasuke stopped and looked back.
Had Sasuke decided to stay?
Spend a few more hours together?
Naruto heard Sasuke’s voice one more time.
“Don’t forget to eat.”
Naruto noticed the dango was still in his hands, untouched.
Naruto lay in bed, trying to get up. He was supposed to see Hinata. He’d promised her last night that they would have dinner together.
But he couldn’t do it. He’d tell her tomorrow that he wasn’t feeling well. Hinata would understand.
He kept thinking about his day with Sasuke, replaying every word. When Naruto asked if Sasuke would come to the wedding, Sasuke didn’t answer.
All of their friends would be there. Naruto’s and Hinata’s friends. But they weren’t Sasuke’s friends. Most of them barely tolerated him. Did the guest list make him uncomfortable?
Hinata and Sakura had put the guest list together, so Naruto assumed Sasuke would be fine with it. He hadn’t asked. He realized he barely talked about the wedding with anyone. Decisions happened around him, and if Hinata liked them, he approved. Naruto would agree with her anyway.
Why did it matter so much to him if Sasuke was bothered by the guest list?
There were so many guests, so many people important to him and Hinata, but the only person whose absence bothered him was Sasuke.
Because you want Sasuke there, you idiot.
Even more than Hinata. So much more than Hinata.
He didn’t want the wedding. He didn’t want any of the guests.
He just wanted Sasuke.
Oh.
Sasuke had always been the one person Naruto had always tried to reach, no matter what. People often said he didn’t understand love. Sakura once told him he couldn’t tell the difference between loving ramen and loving a person. Naruto hadn’t argued with her, but that didn’t felt right to him.
Even though he had called his feelings for Sasuke friendship and even brotherhood sometimes, deep down he knew it was something different. Those were the words people wanted to hear, but they never fit what he truly felt.
Had he ever seen two men together in Konoha?
Had he ever seen them hold hands? Or kiss?
Men grew up and married women, that's how it was supposed to be. Any strong feeling between men was always just friendship, right?
But Naruto knew that the pain in his heart whenever Sasuke left was so much more. And how the world seemed to go silent whenever Sasuke was close was not just friendship. He had lots of friends, but none of them ever made him feel like that.
Every time his true feelings for Sasuke threatened to surface, he buried them, trying to convince himself that he was just happy they had both survived the war and were on the same side again. But Naruto couldn’t keep lying anymore.
These feelings once made him chase Sasuke across the world, but now he had no excuse left. Sasuke came back. Then why did Naruto still feel incomplete?
Kakashi was Hokage, and everyone kept looking at Naruto like he would be next. But how could he lead the whole village when he couldn’t even figure out his own heart?
What would the elders, the villagers, even his friends say if they knew the great Naruto Uzumaki couldn’t stop thinking about another man? About Sasuke, of all people.
Would the villagers still respect him? Or would they start whispering behind his back again, like when he was a kid, and everyone looked away? Would they still bow to a Hokage who loved another man? Who loved Sasuke?
He tried to imagine himself standing before the village and saying with the loudest voice possible, "I love Sasuke." That sounded so impossible he almost laughed.
He’d spent years trying to earn the village's respect, and now he might lose it for the one person he never stopped chasing.
He hated that the thought still scared him. After everything, he was still afraid of being hated by the village.
And even if he confessed, would Sasuke even want something like that? Naruto couldn’t tell if Sasuke felt the same. He was so hard to read.
Naruto thought of Hinata and the life they were supposed to have together. It sounded like the perfect life for him, what he had always wanted. But what he really wanted was to be with Sasuke, but he felt like he was supposed to be with Hinata.
He thought about just saying it, blurting it out, and taking the risk, but Sasuke would probably look at him and be disgusted, and hate him too, then leave again. And Naruto knew he couldn’t survive that.
Naruto could fight gods. But saying “I love you” to Sasuke Uchiha? That was the one battle he still didn’t know how to start.
For the first time, he didn’t fight the truth. He loved Sasuke. He had loved him through hatred and every lifetime they’d burned through to find each other again.
Naruto sat by his window and watched the village outside, whispering to himself. “Guess I’m too late, huh?”
This illustration was made by @ikeiyaaa on Twitter for the dango scene! Amazing artist and art! That's exactly how I imagined the scene happening while I was writing!
