Chapter Text
He remembers Elizabeth “Liz” Munson well from his days at school.
Let's just say she had always been… hard to miss.
They were both in very different cliques, but that didn’t stop her from ranting about the status quo to anyone who would hear her, which, for a while, included him.
Steve had graduated and naively assumed he was past all these high school problems.
But with Robin and the children still at school, he should have known he wouldn’t be so lucky.
It wasn’t that common for bullies to mess with Munson. No one ever knew what she was going to do next. She had a reputation for being unpredictable and a bit unhinged.
She had sold Tommy dry basil one time, and he knew Tommy had smoked all of it and didn’t even notice she had ripped him off.
There was also a rumor going around that she had bitten Hargrove’s dick off.
As much as he felt sad for the dude now after his ultimate demise, a part of him still hoped it was true.
He normally wouldn’t have stepped in, confident she could handle it. He’s seen her threatening people with the pocket knife she kept hidden in her boot for when she dealt in the woods behind the school.
Everyone knew better than to mess with “the Freak”, even if they were 3 to 1.
She was always fierce in a fight. He suspected she didn’t have that much to lose.
But despite her odds, the disparity in numbers didn’t sit right with him.
He also knew she was friends with Robin from their days together in Drama Club.
He had seen her come to visit a handful of times while they still worked at Starcourt in what he suspected was mostly a ploy for Munson to get free ice cream.
They used to sit in a booth and giggle, while Munson pretended not to look at him from behind her sundae. Just because of that, he presumes they probably spent the entire time talking shit about him.
This was before he became actual friends with Robin, so he didn’t hold a grudge against her. And he understood Munson. They had been on very opposite sides of the social spectrum, so he knew why she hated his guts, even if he didn’t remember ever being all that mean to her.
But now that he was close with Robin, it meant her friends were his to defend too.
He guessed they were now friends by doxie or whatever, so he kept an eye from a distance. When one of them grabbed her by the arm roughly enough to not let her reach her boot, his instincts kicked in.
One second he was getting out of his car, and the next he was approaching them fast, baseball bat in hand. “Hey!”
He was so fast that he surprised even himself, and he quickly had to check he hadn’t grabbed the one with nails in his haste. He tried not to use that one on humans.
“You better take your hands off her, man!”
He takes a deep breath and puts on his most menacing face as he lifts the bat and rests it against his shoulder.
The guys turn around, and one of them lets her go, startled by his intrusion. He recognizes two of them from the Football team. There is still a chance he could get his ass kicked for this, and he hopes Munson is worth it.
Once he’s close enough, they all take a step back
The guy farthest from him stands taller. “Why? Is she your little girlfriend, Harrington?”
The other two goons snort, like the mere idea that someone could like her is ridiculous to them, and he feels offended for her. She might not be his cup of tea, but it doesn’t mean she’s hideous or anything like that… If he really thought about it, she probably did alright for herself amongst the geeks and weirdos.
Even though he might have laughed too at the idea of Munson having a boyfriend once upon a time, now that just makes him feel even more guilty.
Which is why he sounds so defensive when he asks, “What if she was?”
He’s not sure why that’s what he goes with, but it’s out of his mouth before he can think better of it. He sees the guys registering it from the corner of his eye.
He sees the confusion in everyone’s eyes, but his are locked with Munson’s. He raises an eyebrow, telepathically trying to get her to play along, as he steps between the guys, shielding her from them.
“No way!!! The Freak has a boyfriend?” One of the guys cackles, looking at the other two.
The gall of this idiot.
“The fuck did you just say?! I know you have no need for it, but didn’t your Mom ever teach you how to treat a lady?” He snaps.
Liz smirks, and one of the goons almost barks a laugh but covers it with a cough at the last second.
The other guy scoffs. “This chick barely counts as a lady.”
Oh, he wants to bash the bat into his skull. His nostrils flare.
He was appalled for Munson, even if she’s nothing more than his imaginary girlfriend.
But her hand finds his wrist and squeezes, redirecting his attention.
Her Drama classes must have kicked in because she jumps right into improv mode. “This idiot isn’t worth it, darling.”
“Who are you calling an idiot, Freak?” the dude spouts.
He takes a deep breath and calms himself down, ignoring that comment, unable to break eye contact with her. He’d never noticed how big and brown they were. He could drown in them. “You’re right… Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” he whispers, unaware of how intimate it sounds, making them back away, putting some distance between her and the bullies.
She is visibly tense, but she shakes her head and gives him a smile that is over as fast as it appears, as well as a squeeze on the hand he put on her shoulder.
They are still outnumbered, but their chances are better now that she is free. They both can see the guys hesitating, and he hopes they’re about to retreat.
“Are we going to have a problem here?” He says, twirling the bat handle with his free hand, hugging Munson closer to him by the waist, wanting to appear as a united front.
She releases all the air from her lungs, surprised by it but trying to school her face.
But the guys' eyes aren’t on her. They go from Steve to each other, as they have a very quick and very silent conversation about what to do next.
Lucky for them, they’re effectively cowards, because they are quick to start walking backwards, utter a few negatives, and disappear from their sight within the next twenty seconds.
Only when they’re gone, they both sigh and exchange a relieved look. It’s clear neither of them was too sure the fight was going to be painless. Still, she clearly doesn’t want to concede yet. “Maybe for you, Harrington, it’s a habit to rescue damsels in distress, but I didn’t need your help,” Munson, always so prickly even after saving her ass.
He rolls his eyes, not because he’s bothered, but because he saw it coming a mile away. “Oh, I don’t doubt that. But it didn’t feel right not to do something. Three to one is not right. Especially against a girl. Even if that girl is you.”
She sputters, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you have this… reputation.”
“Huh?” She’s judging him so hard right now, she’s going to pierce a hole in the side of his head with her eyes.
“I mean, you’re unpredictable.”
“Don’t you mean crazy?”
“I mean badass.”
“Oh.”
That shocks her into silence for half a minute, and Steve starts to wonder where to go from there. “Thank you,” he can tell she has a hard time saying that. “For that, and - you know - helping me.”
“You’re welcome. Figured Robin might be mad at me if I let her friend get hurt.”
“Right… Still weird how you two are friends now.”
He isn’t about to clarify why. “Maybe she realized I’m not so bad after all.”
He can see her studying him. “You know people are going to think we’re together now, right?”
He shrugs. “Whatever…”
“...Yeah, I’m sure your love life can take the hit.”
He shrugs again, not wanting to admit he didn’t have much of that anymore. Because he feels like making her feel better, after all those bullies said, he tells her “I could do worse…”
Okay, maybe he could have phrased that a little better.
She barks a laugh. “I see your Mom did such a great job teaching you how to treat a lady…”
He sighs, knowing he lost, and he starts walking back to his car. For some reason, Munson follows him.
So he realizes his safest bet is changing the subject. He is about to ask her where she was headed in case she needs a ride, not wanting to leave her on her own in case she’s still in danger, but as soon as he opens his mouth, she interrupts. “...why tell them that, though? Why not deny it?”
He had a hard time not gaping like a fish as he came up with an answer that might satisfy her, because he didn’t even know the answer to that himself.
He shrugs again. He’s doing a lot of that, trying to be nonchalant. “I wanted them to know I wouldn’t hesitate to swing if it really came down to it… I also felt bad they were saying all those shitty things about you.”
“...They had a point.”
“No, they don't. They’re idiots. You said it."
He opens his trunk and throws the bat in without realizing he had redirected her attention to the nailbat. “Why do you even have that?”
He smirks. “It comes in handy rescuing damsels in distress.”
She covers her mouth with a lock of hair, trying and failing to hide her smile. “Okay, I take back the comment about your Mom.”
He smiles. “Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t really think it through before I said it. If you’re dating anyone, I’ll talk to them if you want. Clear things up. Don’t want it to make things harder for you.”
She looks down, embarrassed. “Nope, not dating anyone. Wasn’t that what worried me…”
He raises an eyebrow, but she shakes her head and doesn’t elaborate.
“Look, don’t worry about it. Most people are not going to believe it anyway. But since it was my big mouth’s fault, you’re free to tell anyone you broke my heart or something if they ask…”
She snorts in a very self-deprecating way. “Yeah, like anyone is going to believe that either…”
He sighs. “I’m sure you can find a way to spin it. I’ll even confirm it if they ask…” Her confused face forces him to elaborate. “I don’t really care what people in this town think anymore. Just… try not to embarrass me too much. Could really do without the angry mob with pitchforks coming after me.”
“Oh, don’t worry. You get used to them eventually.” She is still studying him. Steve’s stomach feels warm. It’s been a while since he had such a good back-and-forth with someone new. “Are you sure you want your name associated with mine, Harrington? You know how small this town is. People will definitely talk…”
He shrugs. “My name’s been through a lot. I can take it.”
“Sure you can, big boy.”
He couldn’t explain the sudden heat on his face.
Was Munson flirting with him?
She doesn’t give him time to react, as she practically bolts out of there with an okayseeyaaroundHarringtonthanksbye that sounds like it was all one word. Naively, he really thinks that will be the last of it.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
To be fair, he expected some teasing from Robin whenever he’d have the chance to tell her, but the next time he sees her, she had clearly already talked to Munson, because as soon as he picks her up at her door, she launches into a million questions he has no real answer to. So he responds in a very monosyllabic way until he’s able to park for a bit and finally give her his version of the story, because it’s clear that Liz had changed several details, starting with how dire the whole situation had really been.
She makes fun of him for white knighting and his insistence on getting into fights.
At least this time he didn’t lose. That would have sucked.
But he knew Robin appreciated him helping her friend because she eventually addresses it and even thanks him for it when he least expects it.
He shrugs, even as she goes out of her way to be nice to him. It’s a bit weird, honestly. He’s used to her friendly teasing, not her actually being this openly kind.
After that, he can see people whispering behind his back. But most of it doesn’t reach him.
Not until the kids outright ask him if the rumors are true.
They’re not really acquainted with Munson, so he just answers that they’re just friends and leaves it at that. He can tell Dustin doesn’t buy that, but he thinks that being so adamant in denying it is probably going to make it worse.
So after a whole week passes and no one else mentions her to him, despite the whispering growing more frequent, he really thinks that’s it.
But then another week passes, and he arrives at work one afternoon to find Munson perched on the counter, already chatting with Robin.
They’re both frozen in place for a second, but then Steve just says hi and busies himself clocking in and starting his daily tasks.
He notices they’ve lowered the volume of their chatting now that he’s here. But he figures if she’s got something to tell him, she will. He’s never known her to not speak her mind.
Which is why he’s not surprised when she asks to talk to him alone before she leaves.
He had been minding his own business, giving them their space, so he’s surprised but still guides her to the deposit in the back.
He’s barely done closing the door when she says, “I wanted to thank you for your help the other day…”
“You already thanked me.”
“I just - I want to -” She takes a deep breath. “You see, it’s been… a very weird fortnight, to say the least. Normally, people bother me on a daily basis. Yell at me in the hallways. Dump their cartons of milk on my head casually as they walk by in the cafeteria. Bullies, assholes, and jocks…” she says the latter as if they were somehow the worst of them all. “Sometimes all three at once. Those are the worst. For the longest time, there’s always been someone who hates my guts and isn’t afraid to say it. But - these past weeks have been… different. I - I thought it was just a coincidence, but people had been overall kinder to me. And then, I heard the whispers. People asking me if it’s true that we’re dating or making fun of you for having such abysmal taste…” He wants to protest, but isn’t entirely sure what that word means. “So, I put two and two together. Half a month without anyone bothering me? That’s unheard of…”
He feels immediately bad for her. He knew she was a target to some, but he didn’t know to what extent people threatened and bothered her on the daily. “So you think..?”
“Oh, yes. It definitely has to do with you, Harrington. Jesus, I knew you were this town’s golden boy, but I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen people literally whispering your name and backing off. I’m sure most of the town knows by now.”
“Oh.” He really had hoped it would just fizzle away. Maybe he was an idiot. He didn’t expect anyone to take any interest in his love life. He was lucky his parents were out of town for a while, or he wouldn’t hear the end of it.
“Yeah. So… I was thinking. If it’s not completely an inconvenience for you, would you mind if we just keep up the farce?”
“You want us to pretend to date?”
“I know you were just trying to defend me, but you started this! I’m just saying… What if we don’t break up? At least for a while. I could use a break from being poked with pitchforks by an angry mob…”
Sometimes he has a hard time following her, but this time it’s hard not to sympathize when he gets the gist of it. He really couldn’t argue much with her reasoning. He felt bad for her, even if she knows how to defend herself.
She shouldn’t have to.
But he takes too long thinking about it, and she panics and blurts a string of words in an effort to convince him. “I just - please, Harrington - I can’t remember the last time I made it an entire week without ending the day with food dripping off my clothes or a bloody nose. I’m beginning to think I could have a normal life and I don’t want to give that up as soon as I got it…” God, the more she says, the worse he feels for her. “I could make it up to you! I understand this would hurt your dating life.”
He doesn’t have the heart to tell her his love life was not what she was imagining. He had struggled to get any date past the first one. Mostly because his own heart wasn’t in it. Honestly, he was pretty lonely these days, except for Robin or the times the kids raided his house.
He could use some more company of his own age.
Maybe he could use a break. The way she is describing her day-to-day sounds like a nightmare.
He can’t imagine being thrown food or being hit so often that an entire week without it is eventful. He had assumed most guys would be respectful enough not to hit a girl, but he had apparently expected too much.
“And you would have the explicit permission to cheat on me, of course. Just try not to parade them around town too openly, or we would lose credibility as a couple... And - and I could pay you in party favors! I’ll probably could get whatever fancy boys like you do whenever they want to let loose... Or if you feel like experimenting, I have several good options. Just, please, think about it. Most we would have to do is maybe hang out in public once in a while. If you're game for it, maybe we could hold hands to really sell it.”
He could see Robin giving him puppy eyes through the door window, and he felt like he had no choice.
I mean, what was the worst that could happen?
“Well, we could probably do a lot better at selling it than that…”
She releases all the air she had been holding, jumps up and down, and hugs him, squealing with joy. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! You won’t regret it, I swear! I’m going to make it worth your while.”
He didn’t know how to tell her he really wasn’t that big of a party guy anymore. Not after Starcourt.
But he figured she didn’t have much more to offer him.
But that didn’t matter. He wasn’t doing it for the drugs. He had a feeling she was going to figure out some other way to make it worth his while.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
So, they arrange a few outings, just so people in town see them together.
He picks her up from school a couple of times a week. He’s there picking up Robin, so it’s not that much of a hassle.
She has her own van, but it adds credibility to be seen getting into Steve's passenger seat by almost every teenager in town. So those days Steve makes the sacrifice to take them both home and watch a movie or just lie around listening to music for a while. Then he drops Robin home and drives Munson back to the school’s parking lot to pick up her van.
Neither he nor Robin has accepted Liz’s offer to smoke yet, but Steve is warming up to the idea. He’s just a bit apprehensive since they got drugged recently.
He’s not sure when, but he is starting to enjoy the time he spends with her. Maybe that’s why he asks her to the movies, just the two of them.
He pretends that the omission of this detail when inviting her was not completely premeditated.
Her shocked face when he tells her Robin isn’t coming makes him smile but he tones it down not to give himself away. He didn’t know her eyes could grow so big.
“Figured it might be more legit if we’re actually seen on a proper date. Besides, I know you are dying to see that Marilyn Monroe movie they’re re-running at the old cinema. It’s all you’ve talked about this week...”
“Some Like It Hot?! You’d watch that with me?”
“You sold me on it by day two.”
She looks at him shocked. “And what? You like the sound of my voice that much that you let me yapping about it?”
He shrugs. “I like playing hard to get.”
She cackles.
He actually has a great time. He can't decide what to get at the concession stand, so he gets her a bit of everything, and she pretends not to be floored by it. The movie is great, and they discuss it at length afterwards as they have dinner at the hole-in-the-wall diner that’s open late, right across from the cinema. He even suggests seeing it again with Robin next time. He has a feeling she’s going to find too many reasons to love it.
But for now, he’s glad she’s not here because there’s some flirting involved too.
It’s fun to flirt with Liz, or so he justifies it for himself that way at least.
She steals some fries from his plate, so he pushes it forward, as a well-trained gentleman.
She smiles cheekily. “Good. You passed the test, Harrington.”
He laughs, bubbly, thinking how ironic it is to feel like he has been waiting forever for someone to come steal some fries from his plate. “If you are planning to keep stealing my fries for a while, I think we should be on a first-name basis, at least -" She blushes at the implications of what else that could include... "- if we’re going to make this believable,” he whispers just for her to hear.
She nods and chews her hair. Is it weird that he is starting to find that adorable?
“Alright, Steve. Oh, I’ll need to get used to that. Maybe I can find some pet name instead…”
Robin had mentioned several times how limited Liz’s experience was when it came to dates. Which was why he had kind of ambushed her into one. Less chance of having her back out.
And when he learns her idea of a decent date was someone not complaining when she stole some fries from his plate, he realized how low her bar really was.
He signals Diane, the waitress, to come. “A chocolate milkshake with two straws, please.”
There’s a very brief look on Liz's face that he almost misses. The scrunched eyebrows almost break his heart. Like she doesn’t believe it. Or worse. Like she’s not worth it.
“Coming right up, sweetie pie.”
Liz scrunches her eyebrows at the familiarity in Diane's tone. But after all, she had known him since he was a toddler, something he explains to Liz. He tells her all about his parents' trips and the many times he ended up there when he was too young to be allowed yet to turn on the stove. Especially because he loved escaping to the movies as often as he could. His imagination was never that great, so he loved getting lost in other universes. Other people’s stories where he wouldn’t have to be the young kid alone in a big house.
The milkshake arrives, and he tries it first. He’s a gentleman, but this is his favorite. “Since you’re testing my dating skills, I figured I could give you the full Harrington experience…”
“You sound like a Carnival attraction. Are you expecting me to ride you, sweetheart?”
He chokes on the milkshake, feeling his face burning, but he recovers fast and turns his cough into laughter at her callousness. The pet name was also unexpected, but he doesn’t hate it.
There’s a shit-eating grin on Liz’s face as she moves the glass closer to her. But Steve realizes two can play that game.
Without stopping the eye contact, he scooches closer and grabs the other straw. He can see the shock in her face as he gets closer, just a breath away.
There’s an electric tension in the air as they both drink, like he’s daring her to make the next move.
Now it’s her turn to blush and choke on the milkshake.. “Oh, fuck off, who gave you the right to be so charming?!”
He smiles, pleased.
“The milkshake is a bit corny, though…” Of course, she has to have the last word.
He hums. “You want to know what I think?”
“Ohhh, do enlighten me, pretty boy.”
“That deep d- you think I’m pretty?”
He knows he's probably giving her puppy eyes, because she gives him such a deadpan face and a dismissing motion with her hand like she’s not about to dignify his question with an answer, that it forces him to go on. She fails to stop her face from turning bright red and goes back to playing with her leftover food.
Shit. He used to be better at doing this.
He shakes his head.
He’s not doing anything.
“I think that you’re not as much of a cynic as you like to pretend… I think that deep down, you’ve been waiting forever for someone to share a milkshake with, just the same way I’ve been waiting for someone to steal some of my fries.”
She takes a long drag of her cigarette and looks out the window. But she doesn’t say no.
So every time Robin is busy, he takes her out and they share a milkshake and fries.
He always makes sure people see them. Though he isn’t sure that matters anymore. Most of the town knows by now.
But he has discovered that hanging out with her is surprisingly easy. She always knows how to fill the silence. She has too many thoughts in her head at all times and way too many anecdotes and stories and movies and books to tell him about, that Steve’s not sure how she ever had the time to do half the things she claims to have done. But he’s also sure that if she can't think of something to say, she could be making up stories like she does for that club she runs.
She talks about it so much one day and laments the loss of several players that left for College, that Steve wants to make her feel better and promises to introduce her to the kids. They’re starting high school in the spring anyway, so they might as well have someone on their side by then.
He has a hard time not flinching whenever she uses any terms related to what he knows as the Upside Down, so much so that she even catches him on it, and he excuses himself, saying it’s because the kids have worn his ear off with that, so he has a visceral reaction whenever something like that gets mentioned.
The problem is that now he feels a bit guilty because he can tell she’s holding herself back from talking to him about it, and he can tell how much she loves it. And he never thought he would catch himself dead saying that, but he actually enjoys D&D when she’s the one explaining it.
He’s come to realize she’s very easy to get addicted to. Sort of funny considering her line of work, but he understands her clients now more than ever.
It’s all a bit pathetic when you consider that what he craves is her attention. He can’t help but want more.
The more time they spend together, she starts to open up too. Not that she had ever been shy, but at first, there was so much he didn’t know. Not until she started talking a bit more about herself.
Eventually, she takes him home to meet her uncle, who she lives with. He has heard about them from the rumor mill and hasn’t forgiven her for not telling him first, so forcing her to invite Steve over for dinner was his uncle's way to punish her.
Wayne had been very guarded with him at first, so they were both in agreement that he should know the truth. But he didn’t believe them.
It didn’t matter how much they both insisted this whole thing was fake; Wayne didn’t believe them for a second.
But after the first few weeks, he saw him bring her back not too late, nor terribly drunk, visibly happy and laughing, even carrying a bouquet or two, he had started warming up to him and insisted he joined them for dinner at least once a week.
He knew he didn’t have many dinners together because of Wayne’s night schedule, but even if he insisted he didn’t want to intrude on family time, Wayne would tease them both, saying that they both were happy to have him there and that they could all be family one day, something that made Liz turn as red as a tomato.
They eventually gave up trying to get him to believe them, since it didn’t change much now. Wayne let him visit her all the time anyway, insisting Steve was a good influence on her, and that she was even doing better at school now.
Steve figured not being bullied all the time had probably more to do with that, since her attendance had improved greatly.
Last week, he had even enlisted Wayne’s help in convincing Liz to give the hair products he had gotten her a try. Wayne very firmly said, “Trust me, kid. Woulda give anything to need them too,” for her to concede.
Judging by the shine and lack of frizz her hair was sporting these days, she had been using it. He made sure to shower her in compliments about it. She rolled her eyes but still blushed about it, so he kept making sure she knew how much better it looked.
Showing he cared for her went a long way with Wayne too.
He is willing to bet it also helped that after a while he started cooking them some home meals once in a while to make sure she ate. Wayne had mentioned once that many nights he came back from work very late to find out Liz had forgotten to eat and just shoved a handful of dry cereal in her mouth between cigarettes, so Steve has made it his mission to feed her.
It doesn’t hurt that he always left Wayne a plate for him to reheat when he came home from work early in the morning.
Steve, for his part, is more than happy to have found such a great friendship out of this. He finds himself hanging out with her more when no one sees them than the opposite. She doesn’t call him on it, and he doesn’t bring it up.
The free weed he had started to accept was a bonus, but he didn’t really care. He could afford it if he wanted it. And besides, he was only accepting it when it came with Liz’s company.
That company, though? He was coming to discover that it was really invaluable.
Maybe it was the high saying that, but he was starting to appreciate her for all she was.
It’s like he feels in her debt, somehow. Or perhaps it’s more related to his abandonment issues because he feels like he needs to keep it up, so Liz doesn’t get tired of him.
He is quick to discover how much she is not expecting more than she’s been given, so whenever Steve has the smallest gesture towards her, it always catches her off guard.
But sue him. He enjoys pampering her. It’s been so long since he’s had the chance to treat any girl like that, that it takes him a while to catch up to the fact that he’s showing her a softness she isn’t used to, and she never knows what to do with it.
And well, despite the harsh exterior, he’s come to discover she is a lot softer on the inside, once she relaxed and felt at ease with his presence.
He is starting to wonder why no one else has managed to see behind her cover. He finds it hard to believe no one else found her interesting enough to deem her worthy of their attention.
The Steve from the past is making jabs at him for being so desperately lonely to crave the Freak’s company, while the Steve of the present quickly shuts him down, knowing better than to give her presence for granted. At least he feels like he’s getting better at spotting the people that can be important to him. He’s less resistant these days.
You have to understand, folks, that Steve had gone a long way.
He had gone through something similar with Robin.
He had come to appreciate how much her care and attention were worth. Even if once upon a time he wouldn’t have even considered spending time with them.
He’s sure Robin also had a lot to do with Munson warming up to him. He knew she hadn’t suddenly trusted him blindly. He’s pretty certain Robin must have been singing her praises.
And yet, he could tell she remains vigilant for the moment the other shoe would drop.
It only made him even more invested in not fucking this up. So he tried to be as accommodating as possible.
“If it makes you feel better, it’s up to you when and why we break up. Any time, any reason… Whatever you want, since this whole thing is my fault. Just try not to make up something fucked up, please? Not really looking to become the town’s creep or something worse.”
“No, we wouldn’t want that, would we?” She hums. “What if I just say you have a small dick?”
He snorts and says something he wouldn’t actually say around a girl. But there’s something about her that often makes him forget that. “You are welcome to go with that, but I would suggest picking something I can’t easily disprove…”
He wouldn’t normally talk to a girl like that. Not even to Robin. She hates his dick jokes.
But Munson is different. She’s just one of the boys. One of the boys he holds hands with.
She scoffs and clutches her chest, looking scandalized but he doesn’t buy it for a second. Although her blush is too natural to be theatrics. “Jesus, okay, big boy. When the time comes, I’ll think of something else. But as far as I’m concerned, I’m in no rush to go back to suffering the public’s wrath. So I’m not done with you yet.”
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
That is how eventually, the PDA starts escalating, more than enough to keep suspicions from rising. It doesn’t hurt to be thorough.
In reality, he’s gotten so used to keeping his arm around her that he doesn’t even notice he’s doing it. In public, he only kisses her on the cheek or her hair, which isn’t easy because they are the same height when she wears her boots.
The first time he gets a quick peck, it’s over before he can realize there’s some heat in his gut blooming up. It caught him unaware, but they are in plain sight of everyone at the school entrance. It was smart of her to do that right then and there, but some warning wouldn’t have hurt, so he wouldn’t have looked like it was the first time they did that.
They could have even practiced…
He feels it’s ridiculous to have felt so much from such a small gesture, but maybe he’s starting to feel like his wires are crossing. He can stop his brain from reacting like the signals she’s sending are real, so he often spends half of his day chastising himself for it.
He doesn’t think he could ever be an actor. He feels everything too deeply. His brain can’t tell the difference.
He catches himself staring at her lips a lot these days. She has really kissable lips. He’s not sure when he started thinking of her like that, but he does. Probably around the same time she kissed him and opened them to that possibility.
He knows she notices his staring. Maybe he should have discussed PDA a lot sooner. They could have been kissing all this time.
He hopes she’s not mad when the quick peck goodbye as he drops her off at school one morning turns into a longer kiss.
Nothing radical. Just a five-second-long kiss. Just a tiny grab-the-side-of-her-face-so-tenderly kiss.
He can feel her breath hitch.
He’s sure his heart skips a beat. He chastises himself for getting more excited than he should.
He’s clearly lonely. This is the closest to intimacy he’s gotten in months.
So he does his best to keep the ruse in public. Reminding himself that people are watching them. This was all a show.
Steve finally gives in to the kids' demands and introduces her. He’s refrained from ever explaining that this was all fake, knowing their big mouths could ruin everything. Those kids had enough secrets to keep.
They are going to be applying to her club as soon as school starts anyway, so it won’t hurt if they have someone on their side to protect them.
Well, all except Max, who is already acquainted on account of them being neighbors. So to her chagrin, at least once a week, Steve and Max cross paths these days, but she rarely gives him anything more than a monosyllabic answer.
However, Liz had started checking in on her after Billy died, and it’s even more constant once Steve is in her life. Maybe Liz’s just better at reading her or getting her at ease, because Liz seems to have a bit more luck. But barely.
Either way, Steve was relieved to learn that, and he’s thankful she’s letting someone in little by little, especially after hearing she’s not even talking to Lucas right now.
So once the kids finally meet Liz, it’s not exactly love at first sight. More like love at first banter.
They just had to throw a couple of references for them to find some common ground, and soon, they are her biggest fans and supporters.
Steve struggles more to disagree with them each day that passes. And it’s not like he can openly do it anyway.
He doesn’t want to involve her with anything related to the Upside Down. Their injuries are still pretty fresh from their last encounter a month back. So he does his best to keep her out of it. She might be out of his life any day now if she decides so, so really there is no point in getting her into all that mess.
He knows she has her suspicions because whenever Starcourt gets mentioned, despite them all having the same version, it’s maybe a little too rehearsed.
Besides, what would be the point?
He wants to protect her from the horrors, and he’s not sure if not telling her is the best way of doing that, but everyone else insists. If this lasts any longer, he’ll handle that bridge when he comes to it.
Oh, yes, the kids don’t believe they might last long. Not the best vote of confidence. However, Steve knows better than to expect that much.
Not that they’re really dating. I mean, it’s not an actual relationship.
But he is starting to think about how it, maybe, perhaps, could become one, more and more these days.
He doesn’t know if it’s the best relationship he’s had because of her or because it’s fake. But all his instincts are screaming at him to keep this going.
He keeps telling himself he’s not in love. Not really. Not yet. But he’s getting there.
He knows himself. He knows he falls fast and that sooner rather than later he’ll get there if she just keeps ticking all of his boxes.
Robin is starting to figure out there’s something going on with him.
Mainly because she hangs with him a lot, so by default, a lot of times it’s just the three of them.
She has mercy on him and teases him instead.
Maybe she doesn’t want to give him false hope.
Maybe she knows something Steve doesn’t.
Maybe he’s getting rejected as soon as he tries to go for more.
“You have a type. She could be Nancy’s cousin.”
He sputters and it’s in the middle of denying it when the image of them both side by side comes to his mind… Maybe Robin has a point. He tried to protest that their personalities were very different, but Robin was quick to point out they still shared a lot of similar traits. They were both big nerds with strong tempers, intense, dedicated, and wickedly clever.
He avoids the subject for too long after that.
A few months have passed, and he’s spending half the free time of his week with her, one way or another.
He starts to have trouble picturing his life without Liz in it. And that makes him have a panic attack in the solitude of his house.
What if he tries for more and she doesn’t want to?
What if he’s kidding himself?
He can’t see a way to have everything he wants. So he settles for keeping things as they are for as long as possible.
His parents come back to town, and it doesn’t take long for them to hear the rumors.
His Dad spends all dinner trying to explain to him the kind of people he ought to surround himself with.
His Mom spends an hour after that, as they wash dishes and drink coffee together in the kitchen, asking him about her and trying to convince him to bring her home for dinner. That she’ll help him change his Dad’s mind.
He doubts it’s a good idea, but a part of him makes him even more determined to see this thing through. Nothing makes him want to prove his Dad wrong than his own Dad forbidding him from doing what he wants to.
So he goes straight to her house after that dinner, just seeking her company, wanting to wash away all the horrible things his Dad hinted at. She makes everything look less dire.
He doesn’t feel like explaining, so he instead just asks her to distract him, helping him get out of his foul mood.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
And she does. Of course she does.
She soaks up the spotlight and shines even brighter than usual, mouth going a mile a minute, not wanting to let any of his intrusive thoughts time to form.
They talk for hours into the night. It’s too easy to forget himself. To forget this is all pretend, tuck her hair behind her ear, and kiss her just because he feels like it after another one of her jokes.
He feels her tense immediately and pulls away.
Only when he sees her shocked face does he realize they’re alone, and all the reasons for them to kiss are not present.
Well, when it comes to him, he thinks wanting to kiss her is reason enough, but you know what I mean…
It felt so natural to him, that if it weren’t for her reaction, he wouldn’t have realised what he’d done.
He starts to profusely apologize, panicking, thinking he finally fucked it all up.
And then she whispers to him, “I wanted to do that all night, Stevie,” and pulls him in for another kiss.
He does his best to hide the way his body lights up at the fact. He knows he can’t hide the blinding smile because she can feel it against her lips.
There’s a passion that wasn’t there before.
Or to be fair, it was, but only below the surface. Under wraps, not letting it free.
He wants to.
He wants so much.
Too much.
She calls his name and startles him into stopping, thankful to have been brought back from the brink.
For a moment, he had been tempted to take more than he was being offered.
She was probably about to stop him.
He doesn’t want to force her to reject him, so he doesn’t try for more.
At least he won’t for a while.
But still, things between them get very blurry after that.
Sometimes he wants to kiss her until their lips hurt.
He swears they already do from not kissing her, so what does he have to lose?
Sometimes they’re high. It’s easier to explain why they’re kissing, and why she always stops them.
But as the same happens while they’re sober, he fills with hope she means her kisses, only to be immediately bummed when she stops them from turning into something more too.
Other days, they just hold each other, play with the other’s hair and hands, with a level of intimacy that Steve doesn’t remember having ever felt before. The weed always makes him very tactile, and she’s often the closest thing at hand.
It’s like they both find comfort in each other’s arms and relish the closeness.
Maybe she’s just as touch-starved as he is. He doesn’t remember ever seeing her or even hearing of her dating anyone.
Maybe this is as close to a relationship as she’s ever experienced.
Maybe it doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.
Things between them have always been surprisingly easy. He’ll be the last one wanting to complicate them.
So on top of all the hours they spend in each other’s company these days, now there are a lot of chances to make out here and there, just for the fun of it.
He always liked kissing. This isn’t about to be the exception. If anything, actually liking spending time with her is an added benefit.
They have sleepovers, too lost in the kisses and conversation to notice the late hour.
It’s best not to drive kinda high, anyway.
So he spoons her to sleep and feels a peace he hasn’t felt before.
In the following days, life seems brighter.
Like he has more reasons to get out of bed than usual.
He could get lost in kissing her for hours if he could. He’s afraid to say as much. He thinks it might sound too intense for her, so he keeps his cool and paces himself.
He is, in fact, terrified to even bring up the subject.
Like she’s unaware of what they’re doing, and if he brings it up, she’s going to be like “oh, yeah, wait, why am I kissing you?” and completely stop.
Which he knows it’s a bit stupid. But he still doesn’t want to risk it.
He has the feeling this whole thing means an entirely different thing for her than it does for him.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
And then, a few weeks into their making out, things inevitably start to heat up.
Or better said, they were always kinda hot. They just get tired of fighting it.
It took him this long to get over the feeling that he was taking advantage of her somehow every time he kissed her. She seemed equally into it, if the way she shudders when he bites her lower lip is anything to go by. And then she hoists her leg over his waist, and he ends up half on top of her.
She grabs his ass and pushes closer, and she gasps when he presses his hard dick against her crotch. She’s not pushing him away, so he hides his face against her neck, and then slowly she moves her hips up and down, while the hands grabbing his ass urge him to move too.
Her neck is so close, so he has no choice but to softly bite it. She instantly bares more of her neck to him and moves one of her hands to grip his hair, encouraging him to go on.
He grinds his hips with purpose, while he sucks at her skin and she gifts him with a moan.
He wants to make her do all the noises if they’re going to be anything like that.
And that’s how they end up dryhumping on her couch the first time.
He wants more, so much more, but he can feel her tense when he sneaks a hand under her top. He’s not even close to her chest. He just touched her stomach, but she got so stiff, he took it off as it had burned, and apologized a bunch. It’s not bad timing actually, because he was embarrassingly close to ruining his pants.
So maybe he’s going too fast. He doesn’t want to live up to his reputation and rush things again.
They’re not even dating for real! He’s amazed Liz hasn’t told him to fuck off yet.
Funnily enough, they end up in a similar position less than a week after that.
But as soon as it starts to turn desperate and he tries touching her even over her clothes, she suddenly remembers she’s late for band rehearsal.
And when she’s not the one stopping things, it’s either the kids or Robin or Wayne.
That last one had been pretty mortifying, especially because after months of insisting their relationship was just a front, Wayne’s raised eyebrow at finding them desperately grinding against each other on the couch had really had the last word.
They had run to her room, and Liz had faceplanted on her bed, sputtering and overdramatic as usual, while he contemplated that maybe Wayne knew more than they did from the start.
So he’s come to the conclusion that he sort of likes her, which is to say he actually likes her a lot, and there’s only so many times he can rub himself raw before and after they hang out. Especially because he can respect her not wanting him, but the way she’s squirming on top of him every time things start heating up tells him she very much does want him. She just seems to have a certain aversion to letting him touch her.
She doesn’t have any problem touching him, though.
It doesn’t take much encouragement to get her hand underneath his t-shirt, to practically rip it off, to sneak a hand inside his pants in no time.
He’s so pent up, he almost comes as soon as she wraps her hand around his cock. Or well, as much as she can with how tight his pants are. He’s embarrassingly wet already, but she looks delighted to discover that. He whines her name as she rubs him slowly, eyes open wide, taking in all of his expressions, a look of hunger when he reacts the way she wants. And trust me, Steve’s face is transmitting every little emotion.
He lasts a pitiful amount of time. He fulfilled the prophecy and finally ruined his pants in front of her, but at least it wasn’t as humiliating as it would have been if it had been before she laid a hand on him.
She seemed very into it the whole time. He hoped she would let him touch her, but when he asked to return the favor, she keeps herself firm in her posture of I’m okay, thanks.
He tells himself that it hits him so hard because he feels bad for not reciprocating. He doesn’t get it. Who turns down a free orgasm or several?
The last thing he wants is for this to be so one-sided, even if he thinks he’s getting the worst side of the deal. He would give anything to get his hands on her and be the one making her come.
Though deep down, he’s struggling not to take it personally.
Steve starts to feel like he’s been simmering on low heat for ages. He’s going to reach boiling point very soon.
He’s not sure when it all started, but he wants her. Badly. Probably since the first time she ruthlessly stole some fries from his plate.
He’s been having wet dreams like a teenager for weeks on end. Since they started kissing for real. He is a gentleman, but it doesn’t mean he’s not a bit horny out of his mind lately.
He can’t quite picture her naked, though. His poor imagination can’t work from the limited information he has, so in his dreams, she’s always dressed, while he’s the one stark naked most of the time.
There’s a power imbalance, a little bit like the one that’s there every time they do anything sex-adjacent. He’s mostly at her beck and call, entirely at her mercy, begging for the scraps she’ll give him.
So to make up for the reason why somehow they manage to have the most incredible penetrative sex in history while she’s wearing jeans, it usually involves some plot that has them in a hurry, having a quick tryst in a dark closet or bent over the nearest surface.
On one memorable occasion, he just ripped a hole in her jeans crotch, which is something he’s pretty certain he can’t just do with his bare hands. Either way, Liz found it incredibly hot in the moment, and they almost made a hole against a brick wall in an effort to prove it. Of course, that would only work in a dream, where he didn’t have to trouble himself with even considering how she was supposed to make the way back home in those.
So the next time it happens, he jokes about not wanting to ruin his pants again, so she quickly fixes that by lowering them down to mid-leg.
His hard cock bounces on his stomach and she looks at him hungry. “Jesus, you’re such a big boy, aren’t you, Sweetheart?” and as she’s saying that, she scooches down between his legs, face lowering slowly over his crotch.
He’s conflicted between stopping her, knowing she won’t let him return the favor, so he blurts out “You don't want this,” unsure who he’s talking to.
But Liz is quick to disagree. “Your cock in my mouth? Oh, love,” he avoids gasping, but not his eyes growing a bit at that. But his dick twitches, and Liz is distracted by that. “I think you’ll come to realize that’s exactly what I want.”
She licks from base to tip and he makes a choking noise.
Her mouth feels so warm, and he feels like she could just suck him dry like a juice box and he would die happy.
Once again, he doesn’t last long.
It’s been a while, and he hasn’t been with anyone for this long before reaching this point. If he’s honest with himself, he’s been wanting this for a while now. And as much as he’s dreamt them in several compromising positions, he hasn’t quite imagined she would be so amenable to falling to her knees for him. His sex life with Liz is the exact opposite as it’s been with anyone else, and he kind of hates it. He wishes she were a bit less selfless on this concern.
Having said that, cumming down her throat is a transcendent experience nonetheless, especially when she looks at him like the cat who got the cream.
He kisses her, hard, and tastes himself on her tongue.
His dick twitches, making a valiant effort to come back to life.
His thigh between her legs moves up and she shivers, grinding subtly against it.
If the heat emanating from right there wasn’t telling enough, he can feel a wet patch too. She’s burning up for him, panting and looking at him, oh so very conflicted.
He doesn’t want her to agree to something in the heat of the moment that she’s going to regret later. So he makes her the best offer he can think of.
“Aren’t you like insanely horny right now?”
She cackles, an embarrassed smile apparent on her face. And then she nods.
“I know you don’t want me to touch you-” she’s about to interrupt him, but he makes a dismissive gesture with his hand, “but what if you get yourself off?”
She raises an eyebrow, clearly not trusting his motives.
“You don’t have to take any clothes off… Rub yourself over your jeans. Maybe even sneak a hand in? I won’t touch you, I promise. But I could touch your face and kiss you, if that would help?”
She must be as horny as he thinks because she nods, speechless.
Steve hides his smile against her neck, happy to get to know her limits a bit better. He starts trailing kisses all over it and sees her unbutton her jeans and squeeze a hand in.
She sighs and relaxes her legs, giving herself more space to work.
Steve bites her earlobe, and she moans, but Steve doesn’t know if it’s because of that or whatever she’s doing inside her pants.
She whimpers his name and he pants against her neck.
It’s a good thing his dick is decommissioned for a while because this is turning him so much that if it wasn’t, he would probably be able to cut glass with it by now.
So he takes the chance to tell her every filthy thought that’s crossed his mind at some point during the past months.
How she turns him on with the sounds she makes.
How her eyes are so expressive that he can get lost in them, swearing he can almost feel what she’s feeling.
How warm and wet and tight she is. How good she feels all around him.
Liz's noises get louder, her movements more desperate. Whatever he’s doing it’s working like a charm, so he keeps talking.
He tells her how he would give everything to have the privilege to be the one touching her.
How he feels like he’s been starving his whole life, unable to eat her out.
How he would die a happy man if she suffocated him to death while she rides his face.
All of that seems to be more than enough to push her over the cliff, writhing and moaning his name. He’s incredibly grateful to have been allowed to witness all of that.
While she smiles and relaxes, boneless against the bed, Steve spoons her, and the existential dread starts to set in. What if she’s used to this kind of friends-with-benefits type of arrangement? What if she doesn’t even classify this as that? What if for her, this is all just casual?
It wouldn’t be the first time someone wants a relationship with him that has no point other than sex. And well, maybe in this case that wasn’t fair. She also wanted his protection. Or at least the protection his name could carry.
Just because she hasn’t mentioned anyone else to Steve doesn’t mean she’s not hooking up with other people. She expressed not having a public boyfriend, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have people waiting in the wings…
Just because she wasn’t used to his corny date tactics doesn’t mean she doesn’t date other people and does things with them. Things she doesn't want to do with him.
Would she mention him to them? Does she let them all touch her?
He feels a pang of jealousy.
He’s not sure why he feels so strongly about this. But after tonight, he has decided he wants to be the only voice in her ear when she falls apart.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
Robin must notice his head in the clouds. Or the way the tension hasn’t left his brow the whole day.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
Her face says it all. She doesn’t buy that for a second, and whatever she read in his face makes her sound even more concerned. “Is everything okay with Liz?”
He was hoping Robin wouldn’t dig in too much about his feelings because he knew his face would betray him way too easily. But even without that, she knows him well enough to figure it out.
So he sighs and figures it’s time to come clean. “I didn’t tell you but… we’ve kissed a bunch.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I had the misfortune to be present for some of it.”
“No. Not that. We’ve kissed alone, in my house, in her room, at the quarry. In places where no one could see us. It wasn’t just for show.”
“Oh! I can’t believe she hasn’t told me!”
“Maybe she’s embarrassed?”
“Nah, I doubt that’s it…”
“...do you know something?”
“Nothing I’m in liberty to say…”
“But if I were to tell her I like her, do you think-”
“You like her?!”
“I’m figuring that out… So, do you think she’ll turn me down?”
She grunts. “Ughhh - why are you doing this to me?!”
“I just want to know if I’m running headfirst into a concrete wall. That’s all. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a bit attached to my face. Would really appreciate not bashing it in in the foreseeable future.”
“I don’t think you will… But she’s said some contradicting things over the past few months, so I can’t say for certain.”
“I don’t want her to stop wanting to be friends if all goes to shit. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want us to stop having sex either.”
“Woah! What?! When did that - I mean - how? - why?”
“...Maybe it’s become a little more than kissing… More than once…”
“Since when?”
“A few weeks now… But we haven’t really gone all the way. She doesn’t like me touching her, but she has no problem going d-”
“Okay, okay, I got the picture! No need to go into details, please!” She makes a whole show of closing her eyes and covering her ears.
“I’m not joking. I really like her, Robs. I like her so much... The more time I spend with her, the more I like her. So, I think I’m going to ask her out. For real. We’ve been spending so much time together, and she doesn’t seem to have a bad time. At first I thought she was just tolerating me, but now I have proof it’s not just me having a good time…”
Robin starts hitting his arm. “I said no details!”
“That was the vaguest thing I could have said to explain this to you!”
It still sends them both into a fit of giggles.
As Robin wipes the tears she gets from laughing so much. “I think you should talk to her.” It doesn’t sound discouraging, but it’s not exactly encouraging either.
He doesn’t think Robin would encourage him to confess if she knew for sure he was going to get rejected.
“But, do you think she’ll say yes?”
She shrugs. “I can’t talk for her. And I don’t want to get your hopes up.” Shit. If anyone would know, it would be her. “But she does care about you. I’m just not sure if your futures are compatible… Only she can clear that up.”
He’s not sure what Robin means by that, but he’s already determined to talk to her. Eventually.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
She plays with her band every Tuesday at the Hideout. He started coming a couple of weeks into their fake relationship, wanting to keep up the appearances.
But after a while, he was eager to see her play. She really seemed to shine on that stage.
Which is why she doesn’t see it coming when he decides to also surprise her and show up at their rehearsal. It has nothing to do with Steve missing her and being entirely unable to wait until she’s done.
So he clears it up with Gareth first at their last show, knowing better than to show up unexpectedly at his house. He was still on thin ice with Gareth, despite keeping up his promise of not hurting her for months by now.
Besides, he needs the address.
He leaves his car a few houses down, not wanting to blow his cover yet. He’s sure she’s more than familiar by now with the sound of his car’s engine.
He follows the music and approaches the garage. When he’s about to barge in, he hears a song he has never heard before. He thought he knew her entire repertoire by now, but this was either new or one she had kept secret. Either way, he was immediately intrigued.
Gareth’s voice stops him in his tracks. “Are you finally going to tell us what this one is about?”
Her laughter is piercing but determined. It piques Steve’s interest even more.
Her voice sounds rough and pained through it. Like it’s difficult for her to sing it.
Could this be about them? Is it about them deceiving everyone? Or is it about her deceiving herself?
Could she be having doubts?
Maybe she’s also struggling with keeping up appearances.
And what has she said to his bandmates? Do they know it is fake? It doesn’t sound like it.
Or could it be that they’re all laughing behind his back about how Liz is pretending the whole thing, and he’s the only idiot thinking they could be real...
There’s a chance she’s also fed up with the situation.
But what are the odds that she also wants more?
What are the odds she wants the same things he does?
If she wanted to call this off, there’s nothing stopping her, right? Except, maybe, facing the public’s wrath again... He wouldn’t blame her for getting used to the feeling of safety by now.
Must be nice to suddenly be treated like a human being.
But perhaps, there’s an off chance that she wants more.
Maybe that’s why their intimacy has been slowly moving further and further, even while it’s not clear if the relationship is fictitious or not.
There’s no actual explanation as to why she’s been indulging him with that, unless she wanted to. There was nothing she could be getting out of it if she wasn’t into it, right?
He’s been collecting clues for a while, trying to assess if he’s just seeing what he wants to see. There’s definitely something there in the way she smiles at him. The way he catches her looking at him when she doesn’t think he can see her. She has to care at least a little bit about him by now.
She’s always been awfully bad at concealing her fondness from her face, especially when he says something stupid just to make her laugh. It always makes Steve’s stomach flutter.
I'm the pretender, what can I tell ya?
Designed to deceive
So tell me who you want me to be
And I'll be
Be my best impression of what you expect from me
But what you don't see
She almost drops her guitar when he appears through the door before the last notes stop reverberating through the air. It’s obvious she didn’t mean for him to hear it because she gets as white as paper.
So his hunch was correct. The song was in some way related to him.
If he wasn’t sure before, he knows he can’t keep postponing it.
They need to talk.
The rest of the practice goes by very slowly.
He can’t stop thinking about the implications of her not wanting him to hear that song.
He is a mass of nerves, worried about what to say and if there was really a chance she had been suffering for the same reasons he was.
She keeps fumbling the chords and forgetting the lyrics. Her mind is definitely somewhere else too.
By the time he follows her to her trailer and parks next to her van, his hands are sweating.
She looks like she wants to tell him something, and on the odd chance that she’s about to break his heart, he wants to get it all out first. Even if he’s deadly wrong.
No one would be able to tell him he didn’t try.
“So… What was that song about?”
She freezes. “You - you weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“Why not?” he says, but it sounds like a plea. Like whatever she says next, he’s close to begging it ends up saying what he wants her to say.
She sighs, and the silence fills the room.
Right. Doesn’t seem like she’s going to answer, so he takes the chance to jump into the elaborate speech he’s been practicing in the shower for weeks. “I wanted to talk to you. I - these past months - with you - have been the most fun I’ve had in a long time - and I was wondering-?”
“Stevie… Don’t do this to me...”
“-if you - wait - d-do what?”
“I’ve been trying not to have this talk…” She’s looking everywhere but at him.
A chill runs down his spine. “I think we should have it… I - I need it. If you don’t want to, it's okay. I get it. That’s enough of an answer… But I do think I need to hear it. The more time we spend together, the more I keep forgetting this is supposed to be fake. And this hasn’t felt fake for a while now. At least not to me.”
He can see her conflicted face. She’s too transparent.
He sighs, resigned. He’s sure that if they’re quiet enough, she can hear the sound of his heart shattering. “Does that mean you finally came up with a reason to break up with me then? Please tell me it’s not super herpes…”
She barks a laugh, but also looks on the brink of tears. “I - I should be honest with you.”
Steve’s heart falls to his ass.
Right on time for her to stomp all over it.
Because here it is. This has to be the moment when she breaks his heart.
“I - I don’t think I’m a girl, Stevie.”
WHAT?!
“W-Wait - What? What do you mean?”
“I feel… wrong sometimes. Most times, to be honest… Like, I’m not supposed to be THIS,” she gestures widely at the air. And then she sees Steve’s confusion so she points at her. All of her. “Remember those guys saying I barely counted as a chick?”
“Those guys are idiots, baby.” She flinches at the nickname.
“Yeah, well, they were right. I don’t - ever since I can remember, I’ve always felt like something is wrong with me - something is off.”
Steve is having a hard time processing her words. This has to be the weirdest way he has been rejected yet.
He’ll give it out to her. Extra points in creativity. It figures.
“I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to be a girl. I - I don’t feel like one.”
“How’s a girl supposed to feel?”
“I don’t know. But that’s exactly my point.”
He hums, mulling it over. “I don’t feel like a guy sometimes either.”
She nods, eyes looking very far away from here. “Maybe you should explore that. Figure out what it means for you. But that doesn’t negate how I feel,” there was a thinly veiled anger in her voice that he only hears because he knows her so well.
He instantly feels bad. “No - I - I didn’t - I’m just trying -”
She makes a dismissive wave with her hand.
He feels the need to try to fix things, but his brain doesn’t cooperate, and instead, he blurts the main concern he has right now. “Does this mean that you are going to date girls now?”
Only once it’s out of his mouth, he flinches, realizing maybe he could have broached the subject a bit more carefully, but he can even pretend not to be personally invested in her answer.
“That’s not how it works. I still like - who I like. That hasn’t changed…” She’s avoiding his eyes. Steve’s heart skips a beat. “Because, you know, it wasn’t enough with the whole “being a dude” thing. I had to also be gay…”
“Oh.”
He’s not sure how to process all of that, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he feels relieved. To know she hasn’t been faking this - whatever this was that they’ve been doing.
They sit there in silence for a moment.
“So, from now on, should I treat you like a guy?”
He sees the surprise on her face. “Oh, well, preferably, yeah. But only when we’re alone. Or, well, Wayne knows. So it’s okay if it’s just the three of us. But definitely not when other people are around.”
“...Not Robin though?”
“I haven’t told her yet. But I think she suspects something…”
“So you decided to tell me before one of your closest friends?!” Steve was floored, in a weird way.
“Well, I never had Robin’s dick in my mouth, so I figured you deserved to know first.”
His cock twitches in his pants at being summoned. Sooo not the time, dude.
But it’s good that she’s acknowledging it. It’s the first time she makes mention of it out loud. Steve had begun to think he had made it up.
He instantly thinks of at least 5 jokes, most of them including girls with dicks, but given the circumstances, he’s not sure they’re appropriate. So he opts for the one he knows is harmless.
“Oh, you know how to make a guy feel special.” It comes out overly flirty because that’s how their banter often is, but right now it just stings.
Liz shrugs. “You are.”
There’s a lump in his throat, and the butterflies in his stomach are headbanging.
His only safe answer is to change the subject.
“You know she’ll understand, right?” At Liz’s confused face, he clarifies. “Robin… She’ll probably get it better than I do…”
Liz nods. “Yeah. I know. I’ll tell her soon.”
They sit there in silence once more, while Steve picks at the fluff in his sweater and Liz bites her nails and waits for him to say something more.
“Are you going to cut your hair short?”
Liz smirks and shakes her head. “Nah. Most of the musicians I worship have long hair. I’d like to look like them one day…”
He nods and smiles. “Good. I really like your hair.”
She thanks him and smiles, genuine for the first time since they started talking about this. Only then does he realize how much Liz had been frowning while they talked.
“I’m sorry for having trouble wrapping my head around it…” He feels very out of his depth.
“It’s okay. I don't fully get it myself sometimes. But you’re trying, and that’s all I can ask for. It’s okay if it takes you some time to get used to the idea…”
“Yeah? You won’t be mad if I fuck up?”
“It took me almost two decades to be honest with myself, Stevie. How can I expect you to get over it right away? That wouldn’t be fair of me. Especially when you are used to seeing me so… differently.”
He shrugs. “I care about you.” It’s the best way he found to say it without betraying how much he does. “Of course I’m going to try…”
“You are so sweet. To tell you the truth, I’m a little bit pissed off that you are not gay, Stevie…”
He never thought he would be offended to hear that.
It must have shown in his face because immediately she says, “I’m joking, sweetheart. I have no reason to be mad at you. Obviously.”
He felt a bit better at that. But he still couldn’t avoid wondering if his record with women is too vast to be ignored or passed as an honest mistake.
He likes Liz, and until ten minutes ago he thought Liz was a girl.
“I understand you’ll probably want to end our arrangement over this, and I wouldn’t blame you.” There’s a lot of derision in Liz’s voice. He doesn’t like it. “Just, know that I’m extremely grateful for all you’ve done for me so far and-”
“We don’t have to.” He blurts, interrupting, almost in a panic. Because all he can think of right now is that he doesn’t want this to end. Not like this. Not yet.
Liz looks at him shocked, clearly not having anticipated his answer.
“I was doing this to protect you. What I’m hearing is that now I have even more things to protect you from…”
She is still guarded. “I’m not one of your damsels in distress, Steve. You don’t need to save me.”
“Don’t be offended, please. I’m like that with all my g- er -friends… Besides, you’ve only given me one more reason to worry about you. Well, no, not about you. About the people in this town, and if they find out -”
“Okay, Stevie, breathe. I - I get what you mean.” She wraps her arms around herself.
“I can’t just stop caring about you…”
She looks up at him, teary-eyed. “That’s okay. I don’t want you to. I wouldn’t mind having you on my side of the battlefield… So, can we keep being friends?”
“Yeah… We can still be friends.” He’s quick to wipe away a rogue tear before pulling Liz into a hug. And then his martyr complex gets in the way. “And where I’m concerned, everyone in town can keep thinking we’re dating. I wouldn’t want to leave you at their mercy now more than ever.”
He doesn’t realize yet that he might come to regret it.
It was the most amicable breakup he ever had. Maybe because there was never an actual relationship to break up over.
And yet, it feels so bittersweet to leave her and go to his empty house where no one is waiting for him, that for the first time since he befriended her, he sneaks into Robin’s room because he can’t bear to sleep alone.
She can’t even be mad at him, considering the number of times she’s done the same in the past months. But in Robin’s defense, it’s easier because she has a key.
It’s good she doesn’t ask any questions after he nods when she asks if this is about Liz, because he wouldn’t know how to explain it without breaking Liz’s trust.
He doesn’t remember her hugging him that hard, even when they had just made it out of Starcourt alive.
He doesn’t remember crying that hard even then either.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
Liz eventually tells Robin the whole story.
Which is good, because she kept saying she couldn’t understand how Liz could have rejected him if she seemed to like him too, making Steve feel gutted every time he couldn’t tell her the whole truth.
Robin afterwards claims to have suspected something was up, but Steve thinks that’s bullshit and asks her why she didn’t warn him then, before they got so involved.
So she explains that she only had a gut feeling about this whole thing ending in heartbreak, but she always assumed it was going to be Liz’s.
It took him several long talks with Robin for him to start giving it all proper shape inside his head. And even then, every time he saw Liz again, he had a bunch of new questions. Sometimes even Liz doesn’t have answers to give him. He apologizes a bunch for being so intrusive, but Liz keeps telling him it’s okay. He’s making him interesting questions, to the point that he’s making him put into words things Liz currently has none for.
For his part, Steve thinks she is mostly just indulging him, so he thanks him for the endless patience. Liz insists that he knows he means well, and that it meant the world to him that he is trying so hard to wrap his head around it.
But even though he promised to keep up appearances, it was inevitable that things wouldn’t go back to what they were before.
They spend time together, but it’s hard to pretend things haven’t changed. Every time he sees her it gets harder and harder to ignore his own heartbreak.
Robin, being the bestest of friends, becomes a staple in their hangouts. She’s a good buffer, and Steve couldn’t be more grateful for her always having his back.
She understood right away why it wasn’t easy for either of them to spend time alone together right now.
It probably won’t for a while.
So for now, they’re kind of an almost inseparable trio, especially whenever they forget why things are awkward the rest of the time. Still, they do enjoy spending time together.
It doesn’t help.
If anything, it only makes Steve appreciate how good Liz fits into their little unit.
How easy it is for him to imagine a future where the three of them grow old together.
Steve does his best to get over his feelings.
Because he feels so weird not being able to hold her or kiss her. But also not wanting to keep that much of a distance because he doesn’t want Liz thinking she’s made him uncomfortable in any way. Besides, he knows for a fact that she’s going through a hard time as it is. The last thing he wants is to leave her on her own right now.
He doesn’t know how to help, except by being there for her.
So, while he pretends everything is okay, whenever he’s alone, he’s a breakup cliche, crying in bed and rewatching romantic movies.
At least he has Robin to console him.
The worst thing is he can’t even be angry at Liz, as if she cheated or did something bad. It’s not even that they had rejected him.
And it’s not like Steve had done anything wrong either.
There was no one to blame.
It just sucked all around.
“And maybe it hurts because even if it was fake, it was still the best relationship you had.”
“It didn’t feel fake. Not for a while… And I don't want to cut her out of my life. I still want to be her friend.” Robin is about to interrupt him, but he corrects himself. “His friend! Fuck!”
Robin has been trying to get him to refer to Liz exclusively as “him”, and he’s trying his best, but sometimes a rogue “her” escapes him. So he’s been practicing, hoping to get it right so it eventually comes out naturally. He knows Liz would surely appreciate it.
“Hey. Don’t beat yourself too hard. Liz knows you mean well. And besides, most of the time you still have to treat him like a girl in front of others, so it’s going to take us a while to get used to it. Myself included.”
“...But why do I still want to kiss him when we’re alone? Am I still not seeing him as a guy? I swear I’m trying my best! But - could I be holding onto who I saw as my girlfriend? Right? Do you think that’s it? Shouldn’t I have stopped wanting to kiss h-him by now?”
Robin shakes her head. “These things take time, babe. You have to give yourself the chance to get over it like you would any other relationship that ended.”
He could laugh at the notion of being patient when all he could think of was getting through this.
It’s like his grief is in a hurry. Maybe it’s got somewhere better to be.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
They still pretend to be a happy couple when there are other people around. The whole town had bought it already, so they didn’t need to do much else to keep up the charade.
Which meant Steve couldn’t even try to date around to forget.
Liz hasn’t settled on a new name yet, so he says it’s okay for him to still call him “Liz”. It’s also easier, so it doesn’t slip out whenever other people are present. But Steve feels weird about it, so instead he dials up the pet names, and instead he mainly calls him “Baby”, even when they’re alone. He insists it's a force of habit, but he knows that’s not all of it.
It’s like he’s trying to fix the cracks in his heart with more pretense.
He still can’t quite quit the PDA cold turkey.
His hands still find hershis. His arm on hershis shoulder. They rarely kiss these days, but his lips still find hershis cheeks from time to time. He also loves giving herhim forehead kisses. She still blushes every time.
It feels weird to have to adjust his perception of herhim, but he’s getting there.
It feels like everything should be different. Like they belong together still.
So it’s hard to ignore that for the most part.
He’s not sure if it’s his brain or his heart that's having trouble catching up.
It’s still hard to ignore the bubbly feeling it gives him. Or the endearing way Liz looks at him now. It’s even worse than before.
He has such a hard time not kissing him when no one is looking.
Even if he rationally knows he is a guy. And Steve is straight.
Straight guys don’t go around kissing guys.
It’s just his brain betraying him.
Over and over and over.
They’re no longer sleeping at each other’s places anymore.
Now that only happens once in a while, if Robin or the Party is there, so the days of spooning to sleep are over.
But the worst thing that’s come out of it is that he can’t let go of one particular thought: Liz had never actually rejected him.
🤫💦🫠🎸🏳⚧🤯🛡️🥰🏳🌈
As the weeks pass and it gets harder and harder to spend time together, it seems like Steve’s pain is here to stay. So for a while, they take some unspoken but understandable distance.
He doesn’t give Liz any excuses, knowing he’ll see right through them. And for his part, Liz doesn’t ask, probably not wanting Steve to lie.
They barely keep up appearances, but Steve can’t find it in himself to keep pretending, and he knows Liz won’t hold it against him.
So whenever there’s rumours around town about a breakup, they make one or two public appearances to appease the masses and go back to barely hanging out together outside of group events.
Even the kids prefer Liz’s company these days, and Steve has to pretend not to be hurt about that too, because he can’t even tell them why it does.
They just think he’s jealous, and they tease him for being too possessive of his girlfriend, or they even tell him that they understand why he likes her and to leave some for the rest of them.
Which is why he rarely feels up to being there, even when he’s actually invited.
Why it’s all too easy to have an explosive fight after he hears from Dustin that Liz isn’t moving the end of the campaign so Lucas can be there too.
Why Steve chooses Lucas’ side, knowing the poor kid deserves someone there watching him and not entirely out of pettiness.
It’s why when Brenda insists on sticking to his side the entirety of Lucas’ championship game, he does his best flirting back, even if his heart isn’t in it. He has a hard time trying not to show the back cloud hanging above his head.
And it’s why when he sees Liz from afar opening the door of his van to Chrissy, he ignores the bad feeling in his gut. He thinks he must be just jealous, even if he can’t find any reason why those two would be hanging out together.
What he can’t ignore is Liz lifting his eyes right then and catching him staring.
They’re both like deers caught in the headlights, until Liz’s mask turns to pain. It takes way too long for Steve to realize he just caught sight of Brenda following him around and probably assumed the worst.
He feels like shit, but they also both knew eventually he would start dating again.
Maybe it was better to rip the band-aid off…
Which is why he accepts Brenda’s phone number when she gives it to him, knowing Liz can see them.
But when he turns around, his van is gone. Liz doesn’t see him toss the paper as soon as she turns around.
And it’s why the next day, when Dustin and Max enter Family Video asking about phones and entirely hijacking their place, Steve is way too bitter to listen past the first time they mention Liz.
To be fair, they do take way too long to explain she is missing and there’s a dead cheerleader lying on her trailer’s floor.