Chapter Text
Kate’s insides feel like they’re being torn out.
They're gone again. Praveen. Addy. Jeb. And Javi. Javi—!
“Kate. Kate?” A warm hand tentatively touches her arm, making her startle. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.”
She peers up through blurry eyes to the figure in front of her, and all at once she recognizes Tyler, brow etched in concern.
“You’re okay,” he says again, his thumb moving on her wrist in a slow rhythm. He crouches down to meet her eyes. “You’re safe, you’re with me.”
She nods numbly, hands shaking and rooted to the spot. There’s a breeze outside the dusty red motel, but it’s summer, and she’s starting to think that her chill has nothing to do with the weather.
“Kate?” He says again.
When she doesn’t answer, a conflicted look crosses his face, and instead he takes her hand, walking her down the hall to a door. She doesn’t remember her using her key, or going inside, doesn’t remember him shutting the door or even him steering her toward the bathroom.
Distantly, as if through bulletproof glass, she hears the sound of rushing water. She’s standing in front of the shower, the curtain stained with age and something vaguely orange. She watches his brow etched in concentration, watches as he sticks his hand into the water and almost comes out cursing. He makes a few adjustments before he looks back at her, brows furrowed.
“Okay, Sapulpa,” he murmurs. He taps her shirt gently. “Up you go.”
She registers dimly that he’s helping her undress as she pulls her tank top over her head. It’s sticky and ripped in places, and she registers the aching in her arms and the blood and scratches from tree branches that she didn’t know were there two minutes ago. She’s standing in her shorts and a sports bra. There are bruises from her fall all over her right side, her skin turning a purplish color.
His jaw ticks, but he says nothing, his eyes skating from the bruises quickly away. He meets her eyes.
“There you go. Think you can manage the rest?”
She nods, too tired to protest and too far gone to blush. If he had asked her any other day…
“Good. Guess I’ll uh…” Tyler scratches behind his neck, turning around to walk out the door.
“Ty?” It’s the first thing she’s said in five minutes.
He turns around. “Yeah?” She realizes she stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder, the red flannel he’s wearing worn and snagged in a few places.
“Thank you.”
His eyes soften. “Anytime, Sapulpa.”
He turns around again, but this time, he doesn’t try to leave.
She thinks she might fall apart if he did.
She swallows, first undoing the button on her shorts, then cursing as she tries to work at her bra. Wincing, she pulls her sports bra over her head, biting down on a grunt of pain.
“Okay?” He asks, still turned around. His right hand twitches.
“Okay.” She then pulls off her underwear, leaving her clothes in a messy pile on the floor.
When she finishes, she clears her throat. She watches him nod. While his eyes don’t follow her, she knows he’s listening as she pulls back the shower curtain and steps in. The water is almost scalding, and for a minute she just sits, adjusting. It starts running down her arms, stinging a little, and soon the water at the bottom starts to turn a murky combination of brown.
There’s mud all over her legs, and her scar comes back an angry shade of red, and she’d scream if she could right now, but she’s so exhausted.
Over the sound of the water and her own screaming head, there’s some rustling, a few murmurs at the door as he says something low that she can’t hear. She hears footsteps start to recede.
Tyler.
He's leaving.
Then she panics. She pops her head out. “Tyler?”
“Right here.” He’s standing in front of the shower, again, and one of her hands ends up clutching his arm.
She swallows. “Can… can you… I just—Please?”
I don’t want to fall apart all over again.
He nods, pulling her hand into both of his. “Hey, I’m not going anywhere. Sorry if I scared you. That was just Lily.”
She bites her lip, deciding to take him at his word. She spends the next half hour trying to shower one-handed, so she doesn’t have to let go of Tyler. When she’s done, he pulls a towel out and stretches it in front of her, blocking his view. She backs into it, wrapping herself in it fully.
“There you go,” he says softly, brushing damp hair from her face. “You still with me, Sapulpa?”
She nods again, wrapping the towel around her chest tighter. “Where’s Javi?” She asks, voice hollow.
He needs to be okay. She needs him to be okay.
“In the next room over. He’s fine, don’t worry. Just a few scratches like the rest of us. Dani’s patching him up right now, and he’s with Boone.”
She closes her eyes. “So he’s not alone?”
“Nah, like I said, Boone and Dani’ll keep him company.”
“I-I left him. The first time, you know.” She doesn’t know why she says it, only that she needs to make him understand. Make someone understand.
Tyler stiffens. “Kate…” he moves to put a hand on her, but isn’t sure where the most respectful place is at the moment. He settles for one on her shoulder. “Kate, look at me.”
She had never told him the details that day. Just that she had gotten it wrong. That part worried him.
He swallows. “Javi understands the risks, just like the rest of us. Hell, if he didn’t trust you, he wouldn’t have brought you here in the first place, okay?”
She nods for what must be the thirtieth time since he brought her inside, but words don’t really feel appropriate right now.
“Ca… can I see him?” She manages.
“Of course. Whoa—Sapulpa. Let’s get you dressed first though, huh? As uh, delighted as I would be to… um. Let’s get you some clothes, okay?” He turns redder than that damn flannel with buttons she usually wants to pop off. “Wait right here.” He turns, just barely disappearing from the room to come back with a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt (not with Ty’s face on it, almost to her disappointment) and a pair of socks, as well as her boots. “I uh—I hope you don’t mind, I had Lily take your stuff to get washed. This is mine.”
Kate raises an eyebrow at the pair of underwear and a bra just barely peeking out from the pile, trying not to blush.
“Except for that,” he says, almost stupidly. She doesn’t want to know whether he or Lily dug through her bag for it. “I’ll uh—I’m gonna stop talking now.” He turns around respectfully again.
She almost laughs.
Almost.
She shimmies into the pants, which sit way too long over her legs and need to be cuffed just so she doesn’t trip all over herself. The t-shirt is too big, but it smells like smoke, like a campfire, and that much is real enough to help her snap back into the present.
Eventually she gets settled, and when he turns back around, there’s a hint of that cocky grin on his face, mixed with something shier. He scratches the back of his neck again. “Damn, Sapulpa.” His face lingers on hers a little too long, and then he looks away, pulling off his flannel. “Here,” he says, helping her into it.
She pulls it tighter around herself, finally feeling a little more balanced.
It smells like him.
Maybe that was the point.
He smiles, just a little. “Better?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Good. Let’s go see Javi.”